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Volume 5 Issue 10 May 16–29, 2014

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GAY

SAN DIEGO

Pride Season begins

2014

SERVING OUR LGBT COMMUNITY

3 POLITICS

A worthy candidacy “Frida en Vida y en Muerte” by featured artist Joni Nunez

8 DINING

(Courtesy North Park Main Street)

“Re-Designing Women,” a comedy parody based on the hit sitcom “Designing Women,” which ran from Suds and surprising options

t THEATER

1986 – ’93, debuts at Diversionary Theatre on Thursday, May 29 for a three week run. Originally produced by the Uptown Players of Dallas, Tx., the world premiere cast is shown above, with four actors reprising their roles for the San Diego performances: (clockwise from top left) Ashton Shawver as Suzanne, Jamie Morris as Julia, Chad Peterson as MaryJo, and Darius Anthony Robinson as Anthony. (Photo by Mike Morgan)

One of the things that made this year special was the fact that Perry reunited her old band 4 Non Blondes for the occasion. But what made it extra special was that on each of the 75 dining tables inside the Grand Ballroom was a growler of beer brewed by Hillcrest Brewing Company (HBC) from

As North Park and its residents change, so does the North Park Festival of Arts. The “arts” mirror what is important to the neighborhood: from visual and interactive displays, to music and dance performances, to the art of beer making. And each year the event expands its scope and augments its successes. Angela Landsberg, executive director of North Park Main Street, is excited to steer the growth and evolution of the festival the nonprofit has overseen since its inception. “We [in North Park] are really diverse in many ways so we create an event that’s also diverse,” Landsberg explained, adding that at least two new features will be introduced at this year’s event on Saturday, May 17. “We have a Veteran Artists Zone ... sponsored by Manpower,” she said. “They purchased ten booths to give to artists who are post-military and they’ll be displaying their art in one particular section.” The unique artists, all veterans of war, will each have their work displayed and for sale throughout the day of the festival. “The other brand new thing we have is the Ecozone, which is an area where we’re highlighting sustainability,” Landsberg said. “We’ve got recycling, bike shares, Car2Go, some [sustainable] food producers, solar companies and more.” The businesses in North Park have also risen to the challenge of growing the already successful endeavor.

see HBC, pg 2

see Festival, pg 9

Another class of lavender graduates says goodbye to SDSU

Annie brings her gun

y SPORTS

Less than two weeks before San Diego State’s main commencement ceremonies, some graduating LGBT students and allies were given the opportunity to celebrate the end of their academic careers at the fifth annual Lavender Graduation, held May 7. The event is one of several special ceremonies held each year on campus for students of various backgrounds and shared interests

to celebrate their accomplishments with partners, friends and families in a supportive environment. This year, 36 LGBT and allied students from a wide variety of academic disciplines, including undergraduate and graduate levels, participated in the ceremony. Held in the school’s Parma Payne Goodall Alumni Center, nearly 100 people were present at the ceremony, including partners of graduates, friends, family, and some faculty/staff members.

Esther Rothblum, chair of SDSU’s LGBT Studies Program and one of the organizers of the ceremony, asked for the partners of the graduates who were present to stand and be recognized. She noted that in many cases, it is the partners of these students who stand by them during their academic career, and this is one of the few venues

see Lavender, pg 2

What’s going on? Local brewery HBC 'u-hauls' their beer to Los Angeles for a star-studded gala Morgan M. Hurley | GSD Editor

One of our own gets drafted

Index Community Voices.…..…4 Opinion............….….6 Wedding Guide ...….….10

On Saturday, May 10, an annual fundraiser to benefit the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center was held at the Beverly Hilton on Wilshire Blvd. Hosted by Margaret Cho with Linda Perry as Master of Ceremonies, the event, called “An Evening With Women,” featured dinner, a silent auction, and performances by Rumer Willis, Evan Rachel Wood, Milla Jovovich, and Michelle Rodriguez, among other appearances. The Red Carpet is always a non-stop name-dropping event in itself. Perry — who recently married actress and The Talk co-star Sara Gilbert — is the driving force behind this popular and celebrity-laden event, which has raised over $4 million since 2002, all going to support the programs geared towards women and girls at the L.A. Center.

(l to r) Moe Girton, general manager and co-owner of Gossip Grill, and staffer Jennifer Quimby goof around for the cameras at An Evening With Women. (Photo by Connie Kurtew)

Calendar ....……………11 Classifieds .……………12

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San Diego Community News Network

Art, music and craft beer come together this weekend in North Park Jen Van Tieghem | Gay San Diego

A colorful commencement George Vernon | Gay San Diego

The colors of a community

COMING JUNE 13TH Best of Gay San Diego awards issue! See who this year's winners are!


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NEWS

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

FROM PAGE 1

LAVENDER in which these individuals get recognition. Before the graduating students were each called up to be recognized, four individuals were honored for their support of the LGBT community on campus and beyond. Those receiving special recognition were: Dr. Aaron Bruce, SDSU’s Chief Diversity Officer; Robert DeKoven, J.D., alumnus and former student

no fee this year thanks to the donations of four donors — DeKoven, Benny Cartwright, Rick Cervantes and Michael Growe. Most of the 36 graduates present gave remarks upon receiving their cord, with some thanking their family, friends, and mentors, while others shared the struggles they faced to make it to graduation. Afterwards, graduates and guests enjoyed a reception with appetizers and cake. Lavender graduates have the option to wear the rainbow cords with their traditional graduation garb this weekend

The 2014 Lavender Graduation participants, donning their rainbow cords, pose for a photo with Professor Esther Rothblum, LGBT Studies Program advisor (center, with purple sash and glasses) (Photo by Ben Cartwright) body president; Carrie Sakai, Psy.D., co-chair of Safe Zones@ SDSU; and student Anzio Jacobs. Dekoven, a professor at California Western School of Law, was honored for his years of financial and other support to SDSU’s LGBT programs. He told the crowd that receiving this honor was particularly meaningful. “When I first came to SDSU in 1976, [long-time SDSU staff member] Doug Case was still in the closet,” DeKoven said as the audience laughed. “I couldn’t have imagined being open about who I was then, and to see all that is here today [for LGBT students] is incredible.” After the special awards were presented, each of the students graduating this year were called up by Rothblum to receive a certificate and a rainbow honor cord. Rothblum noted that in past years, students had to pay a small fee to participate in the Lavender Graduation to pay for the rainbow cords, but there was

at SDSU’s official commencement ceremonies, which take place Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Viejas Arena. For more information about the commencement schedule, visit go.sdsu.edu/commencement. LGBT students and their allies from this year and all previous years are also encouraged to join the re-launch of SDSU’s Aztec LGBT Alumni Affinity Group of the SDSU Alumni Association. First founded in 2008, the group brings together LGBT and ally alumni to network, connect, and support the current LGBT programs at SDSU. A mixer will be held in late June, and those interested in connecting to the group and receiving more information should contact Cartwright at benny.bc.cartwright@ gmail.com or Cervantes at ricky. rc.cervantes@gmail.com. —George Vernon is a local freelance writer. He can be reached at georgevernon76@ gmail.com.t

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FROM PAGE 1

HBC

San Diego. It was the first time in the event’s previous 11 years that beer had been served to guests, according to Eddie Reynoso, Director of Marketing for MO’s Universe, parent company to HBC. “Of all the galas I’ve ever done or been to, honestly that event was by far the best one I’ve ever attended,” Reynoso said. “It had nothing to do with the celebrities; it was upscale, it was fun, the way it was organized … even the food was completely unexpected.” Reynoso said the menu, which featured three vegan sliders as the main course, was catered to support visibility of Perry’s plant-based diet. “It was just totally not what I expected,” he said. “I thought, ‘oh it’s going to be some big Hollywood gala’ and it was the complete opposite. It was just a fun event and it was just perfect to have our beer there.” Making that happen was just as unexpected, according to Reynoso. Six weeks prior, the marketing executive knew he was traveling to Los Angeles to attend the HRC Gala, where MO’s Universe was contributing a basket to the silent auction. The basket offered a San Diego weekend getaway package, and included meals at all four MO’s Universe restaurants and a growler of beer from HBC for the lucky bidder. Already looking at sights outside of San Diego to expand their name recognition, Reynoso thought he’d take advantage of this trip to Los Angeles and made an appointment with the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center to offer their upper management a tasting of HBC beers. “It was basically, ‘We’re in San Diego … if there is anything we can ever help you with, or you are looking for beer, just let us know,’” Reynoso said of the visit, adding that he left unsure when or if he’d ever hear from them again. Fast forward to May 1, when Reynoso got an email from the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, asking if they’d like to provide beer to the AEWW event the following weekend. “I thought, ‘Holy shit, how are we going to pull this off in 10 days?’” he said. He immediately shot all the owners an email and within 30 minutes, they were all on board with the idea, and by the end of the night, Reynoso said Chris Shaw told him, “I don’t care what you have to do, let’s just make this happen.” Being the small brewery they are, deciding on a brew to accommodate the requirement was the first hurdle. The choice seems to have been made for them, because in a perfect twist of fate, the only beer they had enough of was “UHawle Hefe,” their wheat Germanstyle brew, named as a play on the old-school joke, “What does a lesbian take on her second date?” As the days ticked by, MO’s Universe staff realized just how well the stars were aligning for them when it became known that West Coast

gay-sd.com Production Company (WCPC) — a nightclub owned by Chris Shaw decades before on Hancock Street in Midtown — was one of the first places 4 Non Blondes played when they ventured outside of San Francisco in the 1990s. “The whole thing was becoming magical,” Reynoso said. The next dilemma for Reynoso was how they’d serve the beer to the hundreds of attendees at the event. The plan shifted from bottles, to kegs, each with their own challenges. “Then I came up with an idea,” Reynoso said. “Instead of centerpieces, why not make the growler the centerpiece and if they want to do flowers or whatever else they can.” With six business days left to get things together, Reynoso had to get creative because the company didn’t have 80 half-gallon growlers just lying around. He said his local supplier wasn’t responsive enough so he found a large supplier in Orange County. On Thursday before the event, he personally picked up and delivered 84 growlers to the L.A. Center, where a team of volunteers were standing by to add U-Hawle Hefe labels to them. The day of the event, Reynoso and Moe Girton, general manager and co-owner of Gossip Grill, along with two staffers, Brittany Rae and Jennifer Quimby, took four kegs of U-Hawle Hefe to the venue … in … you guessed it … a U-Haul. “It was funny to have a U-Haul parked in front of a big lesbian event

and to have the U-Hawle Hef on the table later that night,” Reynoso said, adding that they got some funny looks in the valet line. “It was perfect.” “I had a blast at the event,” Girton said. “It provided such a wonderful opportunity for us to experience something amazing with our fellow lesbian community, while also allowing a space for us to ‘spread the Gossip.’ We were able to attach our menu, mustaches, and event cards to the VIP bags. “As I was walking around during the dinner, I was watching people picking up the growler and I could see them reading it and laughing,” Reynoso said. “It was just an awesome experience.” Girton said they also got to distribute the menus at the after party, and even got Michelle Rodriguez to wear a “Gossip Grill virgin” sticker on stage while she was spinning as one of the two after party DJs. This opportunity comes at a perfect time, as Reynoso said the company is weeks away from launching another limited edition Pride Beer, this year related to marriage equality on a national scale. Details have still not been released but he said the plan is to share proceeds from the limited release with several nonprofits around the country that have helped the push for marriage equality. “For us it’s never really been about getting something in return,” Reynoso said. “We give 10 percent of what we make back to the community; whether it is sponsorships for local athletic events, the LGBT Center, or Mama’s Kitchen. For us, the AEWW event was just another way of giving back to the people who give us so much and allowing us to ser ve them.” For more information about Hillcrest Brewing Company visit hillcrestbrewingcompany.com. For more about AEWW visit aneveningwithwomen.org.t

HBC's beer was on every table at the star-studded event, which included (clockwise from top left) the auction of a grand piano laden with more than two-dozen celebrity autographs; Michelle Rodriquez; Rumer Willis; Margaret Cho; and actor and tv host Sara Gilbert and her wife Linda Perry. (Photos by Connie Kurtew)


POLITICS

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represented the Prop 8 proponents. San Diego County also ranks worst in the state for assessment mistakes and required corrections according to the California Board of Equalization. That means we are ranked 58 out of 58 counties in terms of accuracy.

Susan Guinn (Courtesy Susan Guinn Campaign)

Defeating Dronenburg: A Q&A with Susan Guinn Ken Williams | SDGLN Editor in Chief

S

usan Guinn is determined to unseat Ernest Dronenburg as San Diego County Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk. As early voting [began May 5], Guinn [spoke] with San Diego Gay & Lesbian News about why she thinks she is the best choice for the job. Guinn, Jonathan Gordon and George Mantor are each vying to send Dronenburg, a Republican, into retirement. And for Guinn, the consumer attorney not only believes that she can do a better job serving taxpayers, but she also says that Dronenburg’s political blunders and missteps show voters that he is doing “a terrible job.” SDGLN: Why did you decide to run for San Diego County Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk? Susan Guinn: I realize the election for San Diego County Assessor/ Recorder/Clerk is not one that is normally in the headlines. Most people do not realize it is a critical office. It is responsible for setting the taxable value for close to $4 billion in business and residential property throughout San Diego County as well as managing most of our important documents and licenses, including marriage licenses. The current Assessor/County Clerk made news last summer following the U.S. Supreme Court decision allowing for same-sex marriages in California, when he filed a frivolous lawsuit to stop marriage equality statewide. No one should use their elected position to promote a personal agenda. It is a waste of taxpayer money and erodes the integrity of the office. I decided to run for the office because the incumbent is doing a terrible job. He is bad for business, bad for families and has abused his elected position to promote his own ideology, rather than following the law. Why do you believe you are the best candidate for the office, and how will your experience as a lawyer come in handy if elected? I have been a consumer attorney for over 20 years. I am a two time past president of Western Trial Lawyers and served on the board of the Consumer Attorneys of California. I

am passionate about consumer rights and have a proven track record of results. I have protected businesses from fraudulent taxes and fees, and fought for hundreds of families and businesses to collect from insurance companies after catastrophic losses. My firm obtained a $3.3 billion settlement from Big Tobacco to benefit county government. I am well versed in property valuations and have the skills necessary to serve as Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk. I’m not a career politician or a partisan extremist. I’ve worked in the private sector my entire life, so I know how government decisions affect real people. As a consumer advocate in this position, I will be an independent watchdog to ensure no one pays more than their fair share. You are calling yourself as “taxpayer advocate” on your campaign page on Facebook. What do you mean by that? No one should pay more than their fair share of taxes. We are all tired of special-interest groups gaming the system, causing the rest of us to pick up the bill. I have a history of successfully fighting for businesses and families to make sure they are treated fairly, including cases protecting consumers from fraudulent fees and taxes. I will use this experience to advocate for the taxpayers of San Diego County and ensure that everyone is getting a fair deal. Why should voters throw the incumbent out of office? As Assessor, he has raised fees on families and small businesses. He then used their money to increase his own budget by almost $10 million and gave himself generous pay and perks such as a free car and gas, according to County of San Diego documents. He also served as a director of a savings and loan that lost $21 million in an illegal trading operation. Federal investigators said Dronenburg “didn’t have a clue” what was going on at the company he directed, according to reports in the Los Angeles Times in 1986 and 1988. Unfortunately, this seems to be a pattern. For example, he claims he did not have a clue the lawyer he hired to file the lawsuit to stop marriage equality was the same lawyer who put Prop 8 on the ballot and

What are your goals to reform the office? I will end the era of bloated budgets, excessive fees and overtaxation. I will eliminate the property assessment appeal backlog, currently second worst in the state, and the practice of issuing backdated tax bills. I will also modernize the office by updating systems and practices. Millions of our documents are still only [accessable] by visiting the office and searching on a microfiche, a machine invented in 1906. It is impractical and costly to require businesses and consumers to drive to the office and spend hours trying to find a recorded document, only to receive an illegible document at the end of the search. This is wasteful on so many levels.
As the fifth most populated county in the United States and the eighth largest city, we can and should do better. Hasn’t the incumbent got a huge infusion of cash from anti-gay activists? How are you funding your campaign? I have heard this. I can’t say I’m surprised. As for my campaign, it is being funded one donation at a time. I’ve received the support of many in the community, from small business owners, to nurses, to single parents, homeowners, open government advocates, and many others who understand that trust in local government is important and needs to be upheld.

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014 As an openly gay woman who has a wife and a family and a successful practice, do you think San Diego County voters will consider this an issue, or do you believe they are long past judging candidates by their sexual orientation? San Diego County voters want someone competent at their job. When elected, I will represent all of San Diego County voters. We would not have great leaders like Assembly Speaker Toni Atkins, San Diego City Council President Todd Gloria, County Supervisor Dave Roberts and San Diego School Board President Kevin Beiser if voters considered sexual orientation a detriment. What causes do you support, and why? Outside of fighting for consumer rights, my biggest passions are education, the environment and the protection of children. I am chair of the Environmental and Sustainability Committee for the San Diego Unified School District. It allows me to combine these passions. We are tasked with making recommendations to the school board on policies regarding school nutrition, energy, facilities, water conservation, student environmental literacy and other issues. I am very excited about efforts to locally source all produce for our school meals. It would create

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a tremendous number of jobs and help our local farmers compete. When my son was 9, we founded a nonprofit called KidsEcoClub. It was selected as the “gold standard” of nonprofits working with SDUSD last year. Its mission is to support Healthy People, Healthy Communities and a Healthy Planet. I’m also on the boards of the St. Paul’s Foundation and Equality California. Since this is your first run at public office, what will it take to get elected? We have to shine a light on the incumbent’s poor performance and abuse of his office. It’s no mystery that getting my message out requires money. It is ridiculous how expensive these races get, but it is reality. With the election on a few weeks away, I am asking everyone for four things: 1) Visit susanguinn.com and contribute any amount; 2) Volunteer and recruit three friends; 3) Send a postcard to 10 friends with a personal note asking them to vote June 3rd for me; and, 4) Go out and VOTE. —Ken Williams is Editor in Chief of our media partner, SDGLN.com. He can be reached at ken@sdgln.com, @KenSanDiego on Twitter, or by calling toll-free to 888-442-9639, ext. 713. t


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COMMUNITY VOICES

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

OUTRAGEOUS! The fourth annual Gala for the North County LGBTQ Resource Center will be held May 31, at 7 p.m. at the wonderful venue of the Oceanside Museum of Art. This year titled “Outrageous,” this fundraiser is what makes our “Little Center that Could” a possibility. Your ticket, sponsorship and presence will support the wide variety of programs that we offer to nearly 10,000 people each year. Why OUTRAGEOUS? It signifies the need of our San Diego community to be more visible and supporting. Even if you are not a LGBT person but you sympathize with what we do for our youth and families, or even if you live in San Diego, this event is also for you. In the past two and half years our North County Center has created a voice and a presence for an LGBT community that in North County continues to struggle for recognition and political presence. What does it mean to be in a county where our elected Super visor — Bill Horne — can easily dismiss the positive value of having a LGBT Center in his district? What consequence does it imply to have the North County elected officials struggle with the idea of publicly supporting our LGBT youth and families and refrain from even acknowledging their existence? What happens when the County offices of Wel-

MAX DISPOSTI NORTH COUNTY UPDATE fare & Child Protective Ser vices and local mental health providers continue to refer hundreds of individuals in need because there is no other place for LGBT people to go in North County? It means that our “Little Center that Could” is a true lifesaver. It even helps those local government institutions that are still lacking to provide a safe space and ser vices for our LGBT people in North County. However, it also means that your support is vital, and even if you don’t live in North County, a stronger LGBT Center here can help empower thousands of LGBT individuals, to avoid them becoming just another statistic.

Help us to reach out to the many in North County that are still unaware of our existence, to our people of color that are still underserved and often do not have a voice, and our transgender brothers and sisters that face rejection and discrimination every day. If you are reading this article and feel that coming to our Gala is too difficult for you, then support our efforts, become a monthly donor or donate what you can now. Another way to help is to ask your local politicians what they are doing to support our Center and if you live in San Diego and you are a politician yourself, pick up your phone and ask your North County colleagues to come in support of the North County LGBT Center. California State Assembly Speaker Toni Atkins has done just that, she will be our guest of honor for the evening and her presence alone will encourage others to come and do the same. Give voice, presence and support to what you believe in. Donate, Educate, Celebrate! To purchase tickets to the Gala or to donate if you can’t attend, visit ncresourcecenter.org/gala. —Max Disposti is a human rights activist, a community organizer and the founder and executive director of the North County LGBTQ Resource Center. He is currently also serving as a board member of the Oceanside City Library and of Main Street Oceanside and previously served on Oceanside’s Community Relations Commission. He can be reached at maxrome@cox.net.t

events attheCenter thursday, May 22

harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast 7:30 am, hilton Bayfront Join us for the Sixth Annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast on Thursday, May 22, and help us celebrate the legacy of this influential civil rights activist. Attended by more than 1,000 people, businesses, groups and organizations annually, this San Diego event is the largest Harvey Milk celebration in the state of California. Don’t miss it! Buy your tickets today at www.harveyMilkBreakfast.com. For the latest details, find us on Facebook at www. facebook.com/harvey.Milk.Diversity.Breakfast.

Saturday, May 24

Luau Bonfire 6 pm, rocky Pier, Mission Beach Join the Women’s Resource Center for a Luau bonfire in celebration of Asia Pacific American Heritage Month! We will meet on the south end of Mission Beach. It will be a potluck style so please bring a delicious dish to share. If you would like to participate or have any questions or concerns please contact Sheena Whitaker at 619.682.2077 x212, or women@thecentersd.org.

tuesday, May 27

Senior Food Bank Program 1 pm, the Center The Senior Food Bank Program provides food and nutrition education to eligible low-income seniors 60 years or older on the fourth Tuesday of every month. For more information, visit the San Diego Food Bank website or contact Larue Fields at seniors@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077 x205.

tuesday, May 27

LGBt Military Family Support Group 6 – 7:30 pm, the Center The Center and Fleet and Family Support Services are excited to provide this support/education group for LGBT active duty service members and their families. This group meets the 4th Tuesday of every month and is for couples with or without children. Free child care is available. For more information, contact Caroline Bender at 619.222.5586 or caroline. bender.ctr@navy.mil, and to rSVP for childcare contact us at families@thecentersd.org.

www.thecentersd.org The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter

facebook.com/At.The.Center

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Fighting Fair

MICHAEL KIMMEL LIFE BEYOND THERAPY Why do we fight, argue or disagree? We want our way. We want to be right. We want to get something. Are we willing to get it at any cost? For most of us, the answer is: no. In any relationship of wor th, we want the relationship to prosper more than we want to “win.” However, in most relationships — with friends, lovers, coworkers — we have disagreements that we want to resolve. How can we do this so that all par ties feel good (or, at least, pretty good) about the final result? We fight fair. Let’s look at three aspects of a good, fair fight/argument/ discussion. Par t I: The Set-up Ask yourself: “What exactly is bothering me? What do I want the other person to do or not do?” Write this down. Know what your goals are before you begin. What are the possible outcomes that could be acceptable to you? Write this down too. No surprise attacks. Set a time for a discussion with your par tner(s)-in-conflict, hopefully as soon as possible. Don’t wait until the mood is “per fect” (it never will be). Set boundaries together, e.g., “This (behavior) is acceptable, but this (behavior) is not. If it happens, we will (appropriate action).” Good, clear boundaries make ever yone feel safer and provide an “emergency safety valve” if things star t to get too intense. Watch your mouth: The words you speak have great power to harm. Things said in anger can linger for years and are impossible to “erase.” Par t II: The Process Throughout the whole process, monitor your anger level. No one but you can know how close you are to losing it (or not). If you know you are going to lose self-control, take action before you say or do something you will later regret. State the problem clearly. State the facts; then, state your feelings. Use “I” messages to describe feelings of anger, hur t, or disappointment. Avoid “you” messages such as, “You do make me angr y ...” Avoid all-or-nothing terms like “always” or “never.” When you’re listening: re-

ally listen. Don’t rehearse your response and don’t interrupt. If you and your par tner have a histor y of misunderstandings, it’s usually helpful to restate what you heard, so your par tner knows you got it. Ask your par tner to do the same for you. Be specific about what is bothering you. Vague complaints are hard to work with. No playing dir ty and attacking your par tner where you know he/she is super-vulnerable. This can destroy trust that has taken years to build. Don’t machine gun: Storing up lots of grievances and then letting someone have it by verbally throwing them at him or her all-at-once doesn’t work. If you’ve got a list of shit that’s unresolved, stick to two or three things maximum at any given discussion. Avoid “power pouting mode”: You’ve both gotta talk and listen. If one person gets pissed of f and goes silent, nothing will get resolved. Come up with more than one (possible) solution: Allowing the other person only one option will make it dif ficult to resolve the concern. Par t III: After wards When you reach an agreement on a way for ward, give yourselves credit (and a hug or something pleasant). Decide together on a future time to check-in and see how things are working. You can always modify any previous decision. If no solution has been reached regarding the original problem, schedule a time to revisit the issue (usually in a few days, after you both cool down) and continue your discussion. Ironically, fighting fair is good for you. Conflict is an inevitable par t of life; we can’t avoid it (no matter how much we tr y). When we have the courage to resolve problems with people in our lives, we build more trust in the strength of our relationships and feel better about ourselves (and those we love). It makes us more confident, knowing that we can — if we need to — go through the process again. Like any skill set, fighting fair gets easier with practice. So don’t avoid it, instead, accept it as an inevitable par t of life and get good at it. Sometimes, despite our best fair-fighting ef for ts, a disagreement or conflict seems insurmountable. Working with a trained psychotherapist can help both of you communicate more ef fectively and work through intense emotional reactions that often sabotage the process. —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Michael is currently accepting new clients. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com. t


NATIONAL SCENE

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Lessons from the Becker book

LISA KEEN THE KEEN FILES Part 1 Now that the great public gnashing of teeth has subsided over New York Times reporter Jo Becker’s history of the Prop 8 litigation, “Forcing the Spring”, there’s an opportunity to chew on some of the book’s useful disclosures. For all the consternation it has caused, Becker’s trespass in portraying American Foundation for Equal Rights founder Chad Griffin as the Rosa Parks in the fight for marriage equality is not much worse than all the many times newspapers, magazines, and even knowledgeable people in the LGBT community have casually pronounced Stonewall as the start of the gay civil rights movement and rioting drag queens as the pioneers. The movement started decades earlier, and its pioneers were people who pushed back against discrimination in many different ways. It also appears that Becker’s idea for dubbing Griffin, now president of the Human Rights Campaign, as the hero came from a National Archives development official. On page 381 of “Forcing the Spring,” Becker recounts how Jesika Jennings was showing Griffin and the plaintiffs around the Archives’ “Courting Freedom” exhibit. According to the Archives website, the exhibit “explores the evolution of American civil liberties with highlights from the evidence and judgments in important court cases, including documentation from the police report on the arrest of Rosa Parks.” While showing the group through that room, wrote Becker, Jennings told the plaintiffs that she was honored to show them around and that their own records “will be here in twenty to twentyfive years.” “It’s like having the opportunity to give Rosa Parks a tour of the Declaration and the Constitution,” Jennings said, according to Becker. And Jennings, who now works elsewhere, confirmed the Rosa Parks quote as “quite accurate.” It’s also worth noting that much-respected gay legal activist Paul Smith called the Prop 8 litigation “hugely significant,” according to a quote on page 387. Smith is the attorney who successfully argued the U.S. Supreme Court to strike down sodomy laws in the landmark Lawrence v. Texas case. He was also, according to what Olson told Becker, the first co-counsel Olson sought to work with on the Prop 8 case, but Smith turned him down. According to Becker’s account, which she said she got from an interview with Smith, Smith had “entertained the idea of bringing a federal challenge to same-sex marriage bans” in the wake of his 2003 victory in Lawrence. He had

just joined the board of Lambda Legal when Olson approached him about filing such a challenge in 2009. But Smith declined, telling Olson that he decided against filing a challenge to the marriage bans “after talking to a number of former Supreme Court clerks.” The clerks had convinced Smith that it would not be easy to win Justice Anthony Kennedy’s vote to strike down state laws banning marriage for same-sex couples. Becker also famously paints a dramatic scene in which two well-respected legal activists from Lambda Legal and two of their allies from the ACLU storm out of a meeting early on with Griffin, several of his associates, and attorney Ted Boutrous from the Olson team. Becker wasn’t at that meeting, which took place on May 14, 2009. It was a meeting at which Griffin and his team were reportedly trying to seek support for their lawsuit from the LGBT legal establishment groups. This was eight days before Olson’s team filed the lawsuit and arguably not the best time to make a sincere solicitation of input from lawyers who have been in the trenches representing the LGBT community’s legal rights for decades. It may have felt a little like, “Rosa Parks, we’re taking over this bus and driving all the way to the Supreme Court!” LGBT legal activists knew they were heading to the Supreme Court over marriage equality eventually, but they had been working meticulously on building the correct vehicle for the journey to maximize their chances for victory and avoid another Hardwick setback. Part 2 May 14, 2009. Hollywood producer Rob Reiner and his wife Michele hosted a lunch to talk about a lawsuit they were supporting to challenge Prop 8. At the table with them were public relations business partners Chad Griffin and Kristina Schake and openly gay Hollywood producer Bruce Cohen. Except that actor Dustin Lance Black was absent, this was the entire board of the one-monthold American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER). Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher partner Ted Boutrous was also there, representing his colleague, the well-known conservative attorney Ted Olson, who had been engaged to lead the litigation. But Boutrous was not just a stand-in. He was a crisis management strategist, veteran appeals court advocate, and an expert in media affairs. He would be one of the legal team’s top attorneys. Their guests were two attorneys from the nation’s oldest national LGBT legal organization, Jon Davidson and Jenny

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Pizer, and two attorneys from the Southern California chapter of the ACLU, Ramona Ripston and Mark Rosenbaum. Davidson was national legal director for Lambda Legal, the 36-year-old group that helped win the Romer v. Evans case which

many believe paved the way for later LGBT victories when the Supreme Court declared that laws disfavoring gay people cannot be justified by animus. Pizer represented Lambda as co-counsel in the marriage cases that won the May 2008 ruling from the California Supreme Court that allowed 18,000 same-sex couples to marry until voters changed the state constitution that November. Ripston was executive director of the southern chapter, an attorney whom the Los Angeles Times had recently named one of the “100 Most Powerful People in Southern California.” Rosenbaum, too, had racked up considerable kudos since joining the chapter staff in 1974. According to Becker’s “Forcing the Spring,” Reiner started things off by giving the guests a synopsis of the AFER group’s discussions and then Boutrous said that Ted Olson had been engaged to lead the lawsuit. “Someone is going to bring a federal marriage lawsuit,” Boutrous said, according to the book. “And you won’t find a better advocate than Ted Olson.” Given Olson’s well-known

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

conservative ties and activities, it was a bold statement. And Becker’s account states that the Lambda and ACLU attorneys interrupted Boutrous with a “cacophony of criticism that grew increasingly heated.” She said they complained that Olson wasn’t “one of them.” They characterized Griffin and his pals as “upstarts who didn’t know what they were doing.” And they echoed a point Paul Smith had already made directly to Olson: that if a lawsuit were brought too soon, it could set the LGBT civil rights movement back decades. Tempers flared and, according to Becker’s book, Lambda’s Davidson “threw a multi-page dossier on the dining room table, outlining all the conservative causes Olson had championed over the years. This, and more, would be released to the media if they went ahead with their ill-fated plan, he threatened.” “Do it,” shot back Griffin’s public relations partner, Kristina Schake. Griffin tried to explain how having a conservative attorney would “move public opinion.” But the meeting, wrote Becker, “abruptly ended on that angry note.” And Michele Reiner pronounced the meeting a “disaster.” Davidson says he doesn’t remember the meeting being the angry drama Becker paints. Neither does his Lambda colleague Pizer. “We did not treat those present at the meeting who were affiliated with AFER as ‘upstarts,’ nor did

5

it ‘end abruptly’ or on any ‘angry note,’” said Davidson. And the idea that Davidson would throw a dossier down on the table and make threats is “inaccurate.” “That is not who I am,” he said. Davidson recalled that, “After the meeting was concluded, the Reiners, Chad Griffin, Ted Boutrous, and Bruce Cohen walked with us outside as we headed back to our cars and we all shook hands and said pleasant goodbyes.” “We left the meeting with an agreement to talk further, and there were additional conversations between us and some of those affiliated with AFER who were present at the meeting between then and the filing of the suit,” Davidson said. Pizer characterized the meeting as “very cordial and friendly.” “They seemed disappointed that we weren’t enthusiastic about their plan,” Pizer said. “Chad did, too. And maybe a little frustrated that we expressed skepticism about the Supreme Court’s likely willingness in the very near term to strike down 30 newly enacted state constitutional marriage amendments with a gay version of Loving v. Virginia. But none of the interactions seemed angry or hostile.” But the difference in strategy was significant. Lambda, the ACLU, and seven other major LGBT legal and political organizations released an “open letter” on May 27 — five days after the AFEROlson lawsuit was filed — warning against “premature lawsuits,” propelling the behind-the-scenes conflict, however large or small, into public view. “There is a very significant chance that if we go to the Su-

see Keen, pg 10

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OPINION/NEWS

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

gay-sd.com

GAY NEWS BRIEFS COMMUNITY CELEBRATION FOR SPEAKER ATKINS The San Diego Democrats for Equality and Hillcrest’s Bamboo Lounge will hold a celebration for the newly sworn in California Assembly Speaker Toni Atkins (D–San Diego) on the evening of May 24. The event is not a fundraiser, but a toast to the former San Diego City Councilmember now leading the state legislature’s lower house. Atkins, an Appalachian native, was sworn in as speaker on Monday, May 12, replacing John A. Pérez (D– Los Angeles) after ser ving as assembly majority leader. The democrat is both the first openly gay woman and the first San Diegan to ser ve as speaker of California’s Assembly. The event is free, but those wishing to attend are encouraged to RSVP at email@democratsforequality.org or 619-709-0675. Bamboo Lounge is located at 1475 University Ave.

Editorial

‘Justice for Kurtis’ By Hutton Marshall

You’ve likely heard the story by now. Shortly after sunset on Feb. 23, Aaron “Kurtis” Voorheis was struck and killed by a hit-andrun driver as he attempted to cross University Avenue in Hillcrest between 10th Avenue and Vermont Street. The 35-year-old contractor was out walking his roommate’s Chihuahua, “Minnie.” His death was tragic for many, and for others, controversial. Behind the veil of social media, many wondered whether he was to blame for the accident, since he crossed the busy street illegally. Some supposedly went so far as to suggest he deserved it. To me, capital punishment for jaywalking seems excessive. Still, at least one fact cannot be contested: Voorheis was struck and killed by a car whose driver kept on driving. This happened more than two months ago — six weeks as of Easter Sunday — and while many who were outraged at the time have returned to their daily routines, at least one person remains steadfast in finding the car’s driver. Editor’s Note: Rudy Delgado recently contacted our offices and asked for the opportunity to share more about his friend and how he and Voorheis had developed such a close bond. Assistant Editor Hutton Marshall sat down with him. As explained to Marshall, it is Delgado’s hopes that by sharing their story he will bring more awareness to the tragedy and more importantly, justice for his friend. Rudy lived with Kurtis for many years, all the way up until the day of the accident on Feb. 23. Rudy called Kurtis his best friend. Fifteen years back, the two met shortly after Kurtis came to San Diego after running away from his parents when they refused to accept him as a gay. Rudy and Kurtis dated for a couple months but eventually broke up. Then, one rainy evening, Rudy ran into Kurtis walking with some belongings toward a bridge he planned to sleep under, finding himself with no other place to go. Rudy brought him home to his mother, who then became a maternal figure to Kurtis for many years thereafter. As Rudy tells it, he and Kurtis became intensely close friends from that point on. Fast forward to early 2014. The two are sharing an apartment on Park Boulevard in Hillcrest. Kurtis has been sick and weakened for a long period leading up to the February accident. Neglecting a worsening illness of his own, Rudy took care of him, nursing his friend back to health over a considerable stretch of time. By February, he felt Kurtis was well enough to be on his own long enough for Rudy to address his own medical needs, so he decided to check himself into the hospital on Feb. 23. Upon arrival, Rudy was quickly deemed in immediate need of PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951 david@sdcnn.com

DIRECTOR OF SALES & MARKETING

EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 morgan@sdcnn.com

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surgery, which was scheduled for the following morning. From his hospital bed, Rudy saw early reports of a fatal hit-and-run accident on TV. He saw that it took place on University Avenue, and that a distressed Chihuahua was found with the victim. Rudy tried calling Kurtis to no avail, wanting to confirm it was no one they knew. The drugs made Rudy sick in the night, so the doctors postponed the early-morning surger y. Again in the hospital bed with the news on TV, the situation finally became clear to Rudy. He recognized Minnie, his Chihuahua, on TV. The repor ter said they were tr ying to find out whose dog it was, as it had been found with the victim of yesterday’s accident. Rudy went to the front desk and told them he needed to leave right away. He needed to find his roommate. He then learned that Kurtis’ body, in a darkly ironic twist of fate, was inside the same hospital — just a few floors down in the mortuary. After some protest, Rudy said he was allowed to leave the hospital under the condition he sign a document stating that the hospital would not be held liable should he die due to his untreated illness. Today, contrary to reason, Rudy puts himself partially to blame for Kurtis’s death. He still hasn’t had the surgery doctors told him months ago that he badly needed. Still, Rudy remains steadfast in finding the driver that hit Kurtis. Witnesses reported seeing a passenger in the car as well. Rudy hopes he can reach this person. TV stations, police officers and local elected officials have all heard from Rudy in his attempts to keep Kurtis’s death in the spotlight, but the accident remains a mystery. Sometimes Rudy stands on the corner near where the accident took place with an enormous poster board covered with pictures of his roommate. Across the top it reads, “Justice for Kurtis.” He said the flyers he’s hung around the intersection have all been vandalized, with Kurtis’ picture and the phone number where witnesses can call scratched off. Without providing too much detail, Rudy’s current plan is to catch the vandal in the act and find out if he has any connection to the accident. Rudy wants the people in the car that struck Kurtis to know what kind of person Kurtis was. He volunteered on holidays, worked hard and valued friendship immensely. And should they somehow find themselves reading this column, know that you are not the only ones tormented by your choice to remain silent. Any information regarding the hit and run on University Avenue between 10th and Vermont streets on Feb. 23 that took the life of Kurtis Voorheis may be reported to the San Diego Police Traffic Division at 858-495-7806. —Hutton Marshall is the assistant editor of Gay San Diego. He can be reached at hutton@sdcnn.com.t

SALES & MARKETING INTERNS Hillary Hudson

ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962 accounting@sdcnn.com CONTRIBUTORS Charlene Baldridge Max Disposti Lisa Keen Michael Kimmel Jeff Praught Frank Sabatini Jr. George Vernon Jen Van Tieghem

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‘OUT IN THE LINE-UP’ LANDS STATESIDE, WINS AWARDS First released in Australia at the Mardi Gras Film Festival in Februar y, the documentar y film that addresses the taboo of homosexuality in surfing recently made its debut in the United States. “OUT in the Line-up” first premiered on the West Coast April 30 at the Newport Film Festival, where it won “Best Action Sports Film.” On May 9, the film screened at the third annual San Diego Surf Festival held at Bird’s Surf Shed, located at 1091 W. Morena Blvd. in Bay Park. With a significant portion of the documentar y filmed in San Diego and nearly a dozen surfers from the local LGBT community featured, “OUT in the Line-up” was the fastest selling film of the local festival’s histor y, according to the film’s executive producer, Thomas Castets, a French-Australian from Sydney. Castets is also founder of GaySurfers.net, a social network with a worldwide membership of nearly 5,000. The film received the only standing ovation of the three-day festival and received the “Audience Award” for best film. “OUT in the Line-up” will now continue on the international festival circuit, with its next screening in Honolulu on June 13. It is available for rent on VIMEO at outinthelineup.com. AMICI’S DONATES FULL-DAY’S PROCEEDS Hillcrest’s newest pizzeria recently donated 100 percent of its sales on Tuesday, May 13 to the San Diego LGBT Center’s Family Matters program. The restaurant generated $7,000 in sales that day, all of which it gave to Family Matters, a program designed to provide support and resources for LGBT couples raising children or considering parenthood. Family Matters ser vices approximately 2,100 LGBT parents, grandparents, relatives and their children each year. Amici’s ser ves crisped, East coast-style pizza at 12 locations throughout the state. Its Hillcrest location opened in late March at 3958 Fifth Ave. PRIDE’S 2014 SPIRIT OF STONEWALL WINNERS ANNOUNCED San Diego Pride has announced its 2014 Spirit of Stonewall Award winners. The nine individuals and five organizations will be honored at the Spirit of Stonewall Rally, July 18 at 6 p.m., at the Hillcrest Pride Flag at the corner of University Avenue and Normal Street. These annual awards, based on community nominations, allow San Diego Pride to honor those who have made a positive impact on San Diego’s LGBT community. Grand Marshal will be newly sworn in Speaker of the Assembly,

see Briefs, pg 7

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NEWS

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 6

BRIEFS Toni Atkins. Community Grand Marshals include: Pioneers of Pride are The LGBT Community Center, Dignity San Diego, The Imperial Court de San Diego, and the Metropolitan Community Church; Champions of Pride are Vincent Pompei, “for his national ser vice to LGBT Youth and education” and Lisa Mata, “for her volunteerism and helping to bring the Human Rights Campaign to San Diego”; Friend of Pride is Patti Boman, “for her dedication to PFLAG and LGBT youth”; and the Stonewall Service Award goes to Lambda Archives, “for preser ving the San Diego LGBT community’s histor y. The Inspirational Couple Award goes to Danielle LoPresti & Alicia Champion, “for volunteerism and dedication to the LGBT community,” and Dwayne D. & Jonathan Beebe-Franqui, “for working to give a face and voice to LGBT militar y couples.” The Community Ser vice Award goes to Empress Candi Samples, for ser ving the LGBT community through her work at the Imperial Court. “While Pride is our community’s largest celebration, it is also a time to honor our roots and give thanks to the leaders and organizations what work ever y day to make our community a better place,” said Executive Director Stephen Whitburn, in a press release. NORTH COUNTY PRIDE ANNOUNCES VOLUNTEER TRAINING After six increasingly successful years, North County Pride@

TheBeach is moving. The new location for their upcoming Oct. 11 event, is a few blocks away from the beach, to the streets of downtown Oceanside, on Pier View street, next to City Hall. Those interested in volunteering are asked to gather June 7 in the

karaoke room at Larr y’s Beach Club, 1145 S. Tremont St., from 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. for training. RSVP is required to volunteerkay@gmail.com. Sponsor and vendor applications are now open. For more info visit northcountypride.com.t

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

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GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

DINING

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Homespun

HOSPITALITY (l to r) Hummus with ‘nuclear’ orange soda; Beef-filled boureg (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr)

D IN IN G WIT H F RA N K S AB ATIN I J R.

T

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his month marks the one-year anniversary of Eba’s Taproom & Bistro in Hillcrest, which until recently operated in conjunction with Yonkers Pizza for a short time. For whatever reason the collaboration didn’t work, owner Eba Banarji has kept a contrasting array of dishes on her menu that pair expressly to beer. The suds hail from Indian Wells Brewing Company, which makes a full line of provocatively named beers from spring water found at its Mojave Desert location. Banarji has been a fan of the brews from the start, going so far as to decorate her eatery with colorful posters from the company that tout such ales as Lobotomy Bock, Amnesia IPA and Whiskey Barrel Brew, aged in Evan Williams bourbon barrels and ringing in at 12 percent alcohol. Food options run a wild gamut from burgers and mini corn dogs to salmon and lamb chops. Interspersed throughout the menu are several Middle Eastern dishes that pay tribute to Banarji’s Iraqi roots. A starter of boureg, for example, furnished our trio with a few fingers of flakey phyllo dough stuffed with ground beef, onions and parsley. Similar to samosas, they’re available also in

non-meat form, stuffed with feta and mozzarella instead. “My menu used to be all Mediterranean, but I decided to open it up to salty and fried foods to go with the beer,” said Banarji, referring to things like zucchini sticks, onion rings and chili cheese fries. She also carries the Indian Wells’ lineup of fun, sugary sodas, should the hankering strike for banana-flavored Pirate Piss or a creamy Nuclear Orange Bomb, which resembles a liquidized 50/50 Bar. Strange yet enjoyable was how we alternated at first between a basket of naughty mini corn dogs and a dish of lovely, healthy hummus

Falafel wrap with fries

(Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

drizzled with good olive oil. Both matched swimmingly to Indian Wells’ citrusy Orange Blossom Amber, crafted supposedly with actual orange sections. Banarji is warm and sweet, and she makes no apologies for some of the pre-manufactured foods she serves. Regarding the mini corn dogs, she quipped, “They’re not made here, but we eat them from scratch.” Conversely, the light and fluffy falafel balls in my wrap were obviously fresh while revealing nurturing hints of cumin, turmeric and onions. “Minus us growing the chickpeas, we make the falafel and hummus ourselves,” she added. From the dinner menu, items such as salmon, fish and chips, and charbroiled chicken marinated in shawarma spices include a choice of fries, onion rings, salad or cinnamon-kissed basmati rice. One of my companions opted for the most expensive entrée on the menu, a trio of lamb chops served with flame-grilled veggies

Eba’s

Taproom & Bistro 142 University Ave. (Hillcrest)

619-269-0123 Prices: Salads and appetizers,

$2.99 to $7.99

sandwiches, wraps and entrees,

$3.99 to $19.99

for $19.99. Banarji marinates the meat in wine and herbs, giving it a pleasing Mediterranean boost that lamb deserves. The preparation is tailor-made for beer drinking. Though the chops were cooked without that coveted trace of pink left in the middle, their succulent flavor was hardly lost. My other tablemate ordered chicken Milanese involving a battered, butter-flied breast, but coated in crumbs from Arabic samoon bread instead of the traditional Italian breadcrumb mix. Can’t say we would have known the difference if Banarji hadn’t told us, but the outcome won our approval with its crispy exterior sealing in the filet’s juices. His side choice was a house salad, perhaps one of the liveliest I’ve seen served in casual eateries in a while. It featured several fresh veggies, including multi-colored bell peppers and a lemony dressing that I’m guessing is used for the eatery’s fatoush salad. Service at Eba’s is laid back, as though you’re at a friend’s house relaxing over crafty beers and accepting the food when it comes. When she isn’t tied to the kitchen, Banarji socializes fluidly with her customers and doesn’t mind if you hang a while. — Frank Sabatini Jr can be reached at fsabatini@ san.rr.com.t


NEWS

gay-sd.com

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

NORTH PARK FESTIVAL OF ARTS MAP

FROM PAGE 1

FESTIVAL San Diego County Credit Union, who recently moved to North Park with a large branch located on University Avenue, immediately wanted to be involved in the event. “They approached us and were so generous in their sponsorship this year that it’s really allowing us to put on a terrific festival,” Landsberg said. “That’s been crucial and we’re really grateful that they’re partnering with us.” Another partnership that will add to the fun is with Waypoint Public, who will present this year’s Craft Beer Block, located on Ohio Street. The beer-centric restaurant, which opened last year in place of The Linkery in the heart of North Park, was in charge of reaching out to breweries and putting together this popular

staple of the festival. Over 30 breweries have committed and the list will grow right up until the event starts, Landsberg said. Live entertainment won’t be left out of the equation, either. Five stages will present a wide range of music and dance performances, as they do each year. Performances will run from 10:45 a.m. to 5:15 p.m. with the stages scattered in locations throughout the event. The Main Stage will feature mostly rock and alternative bands, including local favorites “Oh, Spirit” and “The New Kinetics.” The Ray Street Stage will be a little mellower, populated by more acoustic and blues acts. The Bar Pink Stage will have indie rock artists like “Diatribes” and “Hills Like Elephants,” whose music goes well with the party atmosphere of the stage’s 31st Street location inside the Stone Brewing Beer Garden. The Beats and Eats Stage will present a wide range of genres, from

jazz to hip-hop and even spoken-word performances. And the Dance Stage will feature over 300 dancers performing assorted styles at a variety of skill levels and ages. As North Park Main Street, local businesses, performers, artists and vendors come together, they’ll make North Park Festival of Arts what it is meant to be: a community event that reflects the neighborhood and its inhabitants. See the map on this page and visit NorthParkFestivalofArts.com for music lineups, festival maps and more information. —Jen Van Tieghem is a San Diego native who covers all genres of music around town. Her bucket list includes playing tambourine on stage with any band that would have her, creating a local music festival called Jenerated Sound, and finding the perfect Moscow mule. Email her at Jen@SoundsinSanDiego.com.t

(right) An untitled piece by North Park Festival of Arts featured artist Hannah Rowan; (top) “Play Guitars” by Maynard Breese, another featured artist (Courtesy North Park Main Street)

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GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

FROM PAGE 5

KEEN

preme Court and lose,” said the open letter, “the Court will say that discrimination against LGBT people is fairly easy to justify, and that same-sex couples can be denied the right to marry based on mistaken, antigay assertions that LGBT people make bad parents. Indeed, we have recently lost marriage cases on that very basis in the state high courts of New York, Maryland, and Washington, and in intermediate appellate courts in Arizona and Indiana. Such a ruling from the U.S. Supreme Court could hurt us badly in cases about parenting, schools, and government jobs.” In an interview [in mid-May], Boutrous said he thinks the difference in strategies, even with the friction that went along with it, was a good thing. One strategy called for pushing hard for a court ruling to secure legal equality as quickly as possible; the other focused on building a

NATIONAL SCENE “lasting, heartfelt understanding and recognition of the need for LGBT equality that is real and that endures in people’s hearts.” “You need both,” said Boutrous. After the AFER-Olson team filed the lawsuit, he said, the LGBT groups were “extraordinarily helpful” and still are. “The combined strategies,” he said, “ended up giving the overall [marriage equality] effort the best of all worlds.” The Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in U.S. v. Windsor the same day that it agreed that Prop 8 supporters lacked proper standing to appeal a federal district court ruling that found the ban unconstitutional. That was June 2013. Today, notes Boutrous, Lambda, the ACLU, Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and even Paul Smith (working with Lambda) are all working with the AFEROlson team on the Fourth Circuit case that argued May 12 in Virginia. Davidson said he believes the LGBT groups’ assessment was correct in 2009 — that

it was “too early” to launch a marriage equality lawsuit toward the Supreme Court and “that the Supreme Court would be more receptive to a challenge to DOMA first.” “But, as I’ve said before, I may not have appreciated at the time how, if AFER had not launched a suit challenging Prop 8, someone else who had less able counsel, less funding, and less public relations expertise than they did likely would have filed a challenge, and very well might not have succeeded in overturning Prop 8,” Davidson said. “In addition, the public education surrounding the case was brilliant, and having Ted Olson leading the case was instrumental in helping pave the way for more conservatives to support marriage equality. To me, what’s most important to recognize, however, is that we all had the same longterm aims.” —Lisa Keen is an award-winning journalist who spent 18 years as editor of the Washington Blade. See more news from Keen and other select veteran gay journalists at keennewsservice.com.t

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GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

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Friday, May 16

THRILL ME – THE LEOPOLD & LOEB STORY: Based on the true story of two wealthy college kids in Chicago, one is obsessed with crime, the other is obsessed with sex. “A killer musical about love and manipulation.” Through May 25, tonight’s show starts at 8 p.m. Diversionary Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd., University Heights. For tickets diversionary.org or call 619-220-0097. LUIGI VERA ANNIVERSARY: Come celebrate Luigi Vera’s 7th anniversary with 50 percent off the entire store, a fashion show, models, beverages, appetizers, giveaways, raffles and other surprises. Hosted by “the Golden Chicks,” Daisy Torres and Barbarah Zeta Neors, with music by DJ M&M. The fun starts at 7 p.m. For more info visit luigivera.com.

Saturday, May 17

NOR TH PARK FESTIVAL OF AR TS: Presented by San Diego County Credit Union and North Park Main Street and in its 18th year. Find art, music, food, beer, dancing and fun along University Avenue between 30th and 32nd streets. Free, with a craft beer block that gives you 13 four-ounce tasters and a commemorative cup for $35 ($55 VIP). Advance only. 11 a.m. – 6 p.m. For more info visit northparkfestivalofarts.com. GAY FOR GOOD: Join G4G at a Pine Valley horse rescue ranch, where volunteers will help with fence painting and corral cleanups with Horses of Tir Na Nog, a local horse rescue group. This official Harvey Milk Day of Service event will start with a caravan / carpool from The San Diego LGBT Center at 8 a.m. and lunch will be included. For more info, find Gay For Good San Diego on Facebook. BINGO FUNDRAISER: Join Gouda and Mama Mo! as they call Throw Back Bingo and raise money for San Diego Remembers and the Marriage Equality Flag Project. 1 – 4 p.m., Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. WELCOME TO MY HILLCREST: A special music and comedy night with RuPaul’s Drag Race Judge Deven Green. Red carpet rollout at 7 p.m., live performance at 8 p.m. First 20 people get special edition T-shirt, sales of T-shirts will benefit the LGBT Youth Center. Gossip Grill,

1220 University Ave., Hillcrest. Tickets $10 presale, $12 at the door, visit gossipgrill.com. DISCO COSTUME BIR THDAY PAR TY: Local artist Alexander Salazar invites you to his 40th birthday — a Liberace costume & disco party bash — which is also a fundraiser for his “artist in residence” program. 21+ only. Entertainment by DJ Adam V., food and beverages provided by Snake Oil Cocktail Company and Chef Miguel, tequila tasting, speedo bartenders and more. Costumes and wigs are required, no exceptions. $20 cover. 9 p.m. – 1 a.m. Alexander Salazar Fine Art, 1040 Seventh Ave., Downtown. For more info search for “Alex’s 40th Bday Disco Party” on Facebook.

Sunday, May 18

MARCH IN LONG BEACH PRIDE: March along with San Diego LGBT Pride in Long Beach’s Pride Parade. For just $30 you get round-trip transportation, refreshments on the bus, the chance to be part of the San Diego contingent and entrance into the Long Beach Pride festival. Pick up is at the Old Town Trolley Station, located at 4005 Taylor St., Old Town (entrance to parking is off of Pacific Highway). BRUNCH AND BINGO: Another fundraiser for AIDS/ LifeCycle. Support Team Funky Monkey's Alonzo Munoz. Miss Olive Onemore hosts, lots of prizes for guests, and MA4 is donating 20 percent of sales. $15 cover, advance purchase is required. Brunch ser ved 12 – 2 p.m., Bingo begins at 2 p.m. Reser vations are encouraged. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. For tickets or more info visit Martinisabovefourth.com. INDIGO GIRLS & SAN DIEGO WOMEN’S CHORUS: An exciting evening benefitting the San Diego Human Dignity Foundation’s Lesbian Health Initiative, when our local SDWC shares the stage with the legendary Indigo Girls and fill the venue with “Songs of Protest, Songs of Peace.” 7 p.m., Balboa Theatre, 868 Fourth Ave., Downtown. For tickets check Ticketmaster or sandiegotheatres.org or call 619-570-1100.

Monday, May 19

RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: Ever y Monday join Chad Michaels as host of the season six viewing party, starting at 9 p.m. on the big screens on the dance floor with extended happy hour. Sign up to be a Dueling Diva yourself — two contestants will compete each week at 10:30 p.m. — judged by the audience right after the show — until the end of the season. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. Visit urbanmos.com or call 619-491-0400. To become a contestant, visit chadmichaels.com.

Tuesday, May 20

LCRSD MIXER: The Log Cabin Republicans of San Diego will host a bipartisan, inclusive and informative mixer with speakers Dr. Delores Jacobs, executive director of San Diego LGBT Center and Stephen Whitburn, general manager of San Diego LGBT Pride starting at 5:30 p.m., Diversionar y Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd., University Heights. Cash bar.

Wednesday, May 21

THE ROAD TO WELLNESS: “Understand Your Health” a free seminar presented by Hillcrest chiropractor Manny Kumar on how to have a healthy back. 6:30 p.m. 1452 University Ave. For more info, call 619-291-5433 or email chiromanny@gmail.com.

Thursday, May 22 ** Harvey Milk’s Birthday ** COMMUNITY TOAST: Join San Diego Remembers as they “march” in honor of our fallen civil rights leader. Start at 6:30 a.m. in front of the LGBT Center with special guest speakers, walk down Har vey Milk Street, then along University Avenue to Har vey Milk’s American Diner where the community will enjoy food, drink and social atmosphere to celebrate Har vey’s birthday. Ever yone is invited. “He marched for us, we will march for him.” For more info find San Diego Remembers on Facebook. HARVEY MILK BREAKFAST: Sponsored by the San Diego LGBT Center, this is the sixth annual event, and an inspirational tribute to Harvey Milk. Breakfast, awards, speakers, elected officials, and more. All proceeds benefit the LGBT Center. 7:30 – 9 a.m., Hilton San Diego Bayfront, 1 Park Blvd., Downtown. For more information or tickets visit harveymilkdiversitybreakfast.com.

Monday, May 26

DAISY EAGAN: An “inappropriate” one-woman show by the Tony Award-winning former child star and Broadway star, that is part monologue, part stand-up, and part cabaret with jazz and standards. Adult content – not for the faint of heart. Daisy is donating part of her proceeds to the San Diego LGBT Center. $20. 8 p.m. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit martinisabovefourth.com.

FRONT RUNNERS AND WALKERS: Meet every Monday and Wednesday at 6 p.m. and Sat at 8 a.m. at southeast corner of Laurel and Sixth avenues in Balboa Park. With close to 200 members in ages ranging from 23 to 72, you won’t be alone. For more info visit frsdweb.org or call 619-835-9131.

Tuesday, May 27

LESBIAN MEET-UP: New weekly early morning business networking meeting, offering a chance to share and support each other’s business or passions. All lesbians in community are invited. 7:30 – 8:30 a.m. Caffe Calabria, 3933 30th St., North Park. KARAOKE WITH LAURA JANE: Join the fabulous and funny Laura Jane as she hosts her twice-monthly Spin Karaoke from 6 – 11 p.m. Plus, full menu. Drink specials. Gossip Grill, 1220 University Ave., in Hillcrest. For more info, visit gossipgrill.com.

Friday, May 23

FRIDAYS ON FIFTH: Sponsored by the Hillcrest Business Association a weekly Friday happy hour event encouraging people to “eat drink and shop” from 4 – 9 p.m. on Fifth Avenue between Brookes Avenue and Washington Street. For more info, visit fridaysonfifth.com.

Saturday, May 24

TABOO AT LIPS: Taboo, a midnight “dirty, nasty” performance, called the “forbidden show” due to its late night curtain and its “sticky, sweaty and spicey” appeal. Cover $5 and $15 drink or food minimum pp. Reser vations 619-295-7900. ACTIVE DUTY AT RICH’S: Co-sponsored by SDPIX the militar y party with after hours until 4 a.m. Free active duty dog tags while supplies last, militar y go-go dancers, décor. Camo attire is encouraged. DJ Tag spins. 1851 University Ave., Hillcrest. More info visit richssandiego.com.

Sunday, May 25

T-DANCE ON THE BAY: Michael Mack Presents an HRC-inspired cruise around San Diego Bay on the Spirit of San Diego, with music by DJ Marcel Hetu. Boarding starts at Noon, departure is at 1 p.m., return at 4 p.m. $27 presale available at Obelisk or Urban MO’s. More info search for Obelisk Shoppe on Facebook. AIDS RIDE FUNDRAISER: Join Jessie and Scott of MJ’s Cycler y for their “1st Art Show” to raise money for the AIDS/LifeCyle (June 1 – 7). You can name the team of your choice or give a general donation with your purchases. 6 – 10 p.m., 3841 Park Blvd. For more info call 619-2289220 or find MJ’s Cycler y on Facebook.

11

Wednesday, May 28

PICTIONARY: Come play with Tiger … and Sister Ida Know on the back patio. Match your skills, win fun prizes and raise money for a good causes. 7:30 – 10 p.m. #1 on Fifth Ave., 3845 Fifth Ave.

Thursday, May 29

"RE-DESIGNING WOMEN": A comedy parody based on the hit sitcom “Designing Women” which ran from 1986 – '93, debuts tonight for a three week run. 8 p.m. Diversionary Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd., University Heights. For tickets visit diversionary.org. SD PRIDE FUNDRAISER: Help raise money for San Diego Pride’s militar y contingent. Enjoy happy hour specials, raf fles, veterans, active duty ser vice members and more. Show your pride and suppor t for our militar y. 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Har vey Milk’s American Diner, 535 University Ave., For more info email erich@ sdpride. org. —For inclusion in the calendar, email morgan@sdcnn.com.t

Q PUZZLE

LADY GAGA, AFTER A FASHION ACROSS 1 “Billy Elliot” epithet 5 Sound of oral enjoyment 10 Come quickly 14 In two parts 15 Singer Reagon 16 Part of San Francisco's BART 17 Regarding 18 Husband of a Duke 19 Misfire sound 20 Start of Lady Gaga’s definition of fashion 23 Family diagram 24 Valhalla VIP 25 Many are out of it 28 “Keep your pants on!” 32 “Thumbs up!” 33 More of the definition 37 Piece-loving org. 38 Ending for auto 40 Horizontal line on a graph

41 “Boys in the Band” author Crowley 42 It may make you rub your head 44 Triangle side 45 Ouija alternative 46 Hottie at a bar, e.g. 48 How a male stripper makes a living? 49 More of the definition 53 De Matteo of “Desperate Housewives” 56 Cock and bull 57 Type of seaman 61 Rhett Butler's final word 62 Astronaut Cooper’s nickname 63 Thoroughfare 64 Navy rival 65 Guys who use come-on lines 66 Art Deco name 67 Simpatico sounds 68 End of the definition 69 Romeo or Juliet

Solution on page 13 DOWN 1 Palm Pilot, e.g. 2 Remove from power 3 Scout's recitation 4 You ride them in gay pride parades 5 Louisiana levy 6 Dayan of the land of the cut 7 Italian wine center 8 Cotton cloth 9 Where queens may rule 10 Moon of “Frasier” 11 Diva’s piece 12 Pay for a pad 13 Touching children’s game 21 Very, to Verlaine 22 Piercing part 25 Vehicle that may be bi? 26 “The Wizard of Oz” producer Mervyn 27 Oklahoma native 29 Kind of drum

30 Swashbuckler Flynn 31 Subtly spiteful 34 Batman portrayer Kilmer 35 Program file extension 36 Understand, to Kerouac and Ginsberg 39 Breakfast place of film? 41 Funny Cho 43 Scar, in “The Lion King” for example 45 Catch some rays 47 Ars ___, vita brevis 48 Male offspring that goes either way? 50 They sometimes swing 51 Myanmar, formerly 52 Came to a halt 53 “Saving Private Ryan” event 54 Internally pink 55 Thompson of “Angels in America” 58 Dimension of a big shooter 59 A little behind 60 Adam and Steve's locale?


12

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

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3112 30th St. 1bdrm 1ba $1275 and 2 bdrm. 2 ba. $1600. Quiet gated community. Upstairs units totally remodeled from new cabinets, granite counters ,stainless appliances, to new faux wood flooring. Off street parking and coin laundry on site. Deposits are the same as the rents. Sorry, no pets or smoking. 4341 Utah St. 2bd 1ba. Cottage. Hdwood floors. Pets on approval. $1350 rent, $1350 deposit. 4185 Iowa Street. 1bd 1ba cottage with hdwd. Floors. Pet on approval $1300 rent, $1300. Comes with a 1 car garage.

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13

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LADY GAGA, AFTER A FASHION

from pg. 11


14

THEATER

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

CHARLENE BALDRIDGE

gay-sd.com

THEATER REVIEW

Annie brings her gun to North Park

(l to r, above) Steve Blanchard as Frank Butler and Beth Malone as Annie Oakley; (right) Beth Malone as Annie Oakley (Photos by Ken Jacques) “Irving Berlin’s Annie Get Your Gun,” produced by San Diego Musical Theatre (SDMT) at the North Park Theatre through May 25, is a trip down memory lane for many of us, who are old enough to remember the original, which we saw in New York or Chicago. The updated musical retains its sparkling musical score, featuring such winners as “No Business Like Show Business,” “Anything You Can Do,” and “They Say It’s Wonderful.” Premiered on Broadway (with Ethel Merman) in 1946 and seen by this then-young critic in Chicago the following year (with Mary Martin,

who received a Special Tony Award for her tour performance), the original “Annie Get Your Gun” had a book by Herbert Fields and Dorothy Fields. It was rife with song lyrics and lines no longer politically correct, so when the show returned to Broadway in 1999 (with Bernadette Peters) it had a new libretto by Peter Stone, who added a secondary romance between a part Native American man and the younger sister of Dolly, Frank Butler’s assistant. Stone’s other modifications include the elimination of the Wild Horse Ceremonial Dance and its gilt, nearly nude male Indian dancer;

and, after Chief Sitting Bull names Annie his honorary daughter, the complete elimination of her song, “I’m an Indian Too.” The song “An Old Fashioned Wedding,” written for the 1966 Broadway revival, was retained and turned into a battle of the sexes reminiscent of the conclusion of Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shew,” in which, in contemporary productions, Kate/Annie come across staunchly feminist, but willing to compromise in order to enjoy Petruchio/Frank’s extreme maleness. In the SDMT production, Broadway actor/singer Steve Blanchard (also seen here at The Old Globe as the Grinch) provides all the swagger one could wish for. He has a luscious voice to boot. Broadway performer Beth Malone, remembered for her performance in “The Marvelous Wonderettes,” is a perky, gauche and effective Annie. She sports a wondrous, straight up vocal line and is fetchingly tomboyish. By the time she sings “You Can’t Get a Man with a Gun,” we are totally won. Endearingly, she looks tall and lanky, at least until she is in Blanchard’s arms, when suddenly she transforms to diminutive. There are other admirable performances, chiefly local artist John Polhamus as Buffalo Bill Cody and Sean Tamburrino as Chief Sitting Bull. Debbie David makes her SDMT debut as Frank Butler’s fractious assistant, Dolly Tate, and Jeni Baker portrays her younger sister Winnie, in love with the half-breed, Tommy Keeler, portrayed by attractive Steven Rada, largely shirtless.

Jim Marshall is a fine Pawnee Bill and Paul Morgavo portrays company manager Charlie Davenport. Don Le Master is music director and conductor of the on stage 22-piece orchestra. I understand its placement, but I does diminish the overture, played with closed curtains. Completing the 22-member company, the ensemble is choreographed by accomplished director and traffic cop John Todd. The child actor/singers who play Annie’s hillbilly family are adorable Ava Marie Bunn, Claire Scheper and Noah Baird. “Annie Get Your Gun” is a family musical, so take the young people in your lives. It is very unlike SDMT’s next offering, the Pulitzer Prize-winning “Next to Normal,” (Sept. 26 – Oct. 12), which is described euphemistically as showing “how far two parents will go to keep themselves sane and their family’s world intact.” In actuality, the piece deals with untreated mental illness and its effects on the family. Leave the younger kids at home for this one, and take yourself and your serious minded friends. Depending upon the cast, it could be dynamite. Take it from one who loves this show. — Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the arts since 1979. Her book “San Diego, Jewel of the California Coast” (Northland Publishing) is currently available in bookstores. She can be reached at charb81@gmail.com.t

“Irving Berlin’s Annie Get Your Gun” Through May 25 Thurs 7:30 p.m. Fri & Sat 8 p.m. Sat & Sun 2 p.m. North Park Theatre Tickets $26-$56 SDMT.org or 619-239-8836


SPORTS

gay-sd.com

JEFF PRAUGHT

GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

DUGOUT CHATTER

The day Michael Sam made history On May 10, Michael Sam became the first openly-gay athlete to be drafted by a National Football League team in the league’s history. The St. Louis Rams chose the 6-foot 2-inch, 255-pound defensive lineman out of the University of Missouri in the seventh and final round of this year’s NFL draft, the 249th player selected. Sam, a consensus All-American who was named the Southeastern Conference’s Defensive Player of the Year, is the lowest-drafted SEC DPOY in history. During its telecast, ESPN aired tape-delayed video coverage of Sam receiving the call, being overcome by emotion upon receiving the news, and then kissing his boyfriend, Vito Cammisano. Those are the facts of a historic moment that millions of people will remember for years. But the story did not stop there, because there are so many angles to this occasion. My head has been spinning since Saturday trying to make sense of it all, because I find the whole affair fascinating. The Kiss ESPN shows draftees receiving their draft phone calls on a regular basis. They send cameras to the homes of players who have made names for themselves in the media. Michael Sam is a known name, and it was a no-brainer that ESPN would send cameras to La Jolla, where Sam was spending draft weekend. They knew history was possible. When I watched the video of Sam receiving his draft call, the first thing I noticed was his release of emotion. He bent over at the waist and began to sob, without saying a word. To me, this was the biggest story of that video. Not because a grown man was crying — almost all of those guys do — but because this was a person who was fighting all sorts of emotion, and the world was getting to see him deal with all of them. I am clearly projecting here, but I believe he was fighting through anger, fear, and happiness all at once. Happiness, because he had achieved his dream of being drafted by an NFL team. Fear, because he had spent months at the middle of the heterosexualhomosexual conversation in sports that, unfortunately, still has discriminatory participants. And anger, because he rightfully felt he should have been drafted higher than the seventh round. The tears were flowing, and I thought it was awesome. That he then kissed his boyfriend was a complete afterthought to me. I did not really even notice. I am used to seeing this image; millions of Americans still are not. And what ensued was an asinine firestorm of reaction on social media. Former Texas Longhorns quarterback Case McCoy took to Twitter by tweeting “ESPN … You serious right now?” Over the course of two tweets, former NFL running back Derrick Ward wrote “I’m sorry but that

Michael Sam is no bueno for doing that on national TV. I’m fine with it being a new day in age but for him to do that on National TV is disgusting. Gay or not.” Former University of Mississippi basketball star Marshall Henderson wrote: “Boycotting sportscenter til this michael sam nasty ass shit is off ... My brothers are 7 and 11 and saw that!!! #SICKENING.” He later tweeted

that he was conducting a psychology experiment and was actually fully supportive of Sam. Those three reactions were far from isolated, but they were telling. These are the kinds of people Sam could encounter in the locker room. McCoy is a white quarterback, and white quarterbacks tend to be the leaders of clubs who often get their way with management. Borderline players have historically been cut from teams if they did not get along well with the white quarterback, albeit pass-throwers who were a hundred times more talented than the mediocre McCoy. I was also left to wonder if McCoy would have been as bothered if Sam was white, rather

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than black. Ward was outraged that Sam kissed his boyfriend on ESPN. His timeline did not show similar outrage when other draftees kissed their girlfriends or wives at any time during the three-day draft, and there were dozens of examples. And do we really believe Henderson was fooling us all into a psychology reaction test, or did someone from the university’s public relations depar tment, or coaching staf f, realize the firestorm his idiotic tweet would cause, and order Henderson to retract it or get creative? Jason Collins, the first active player to come out of the closet in any of the four major Nor th American spor ts and a member of the Brooklyn Nets, had the per fect response: “We’re gay, we have boyfriends.” In other words, McCoy, get over it. 249th Best Player? To me, the biggest story of Sam’s selection should be a debate about whether his sexuality played any role in where he was chosen. As noted, no SEC DPOY had ever been drafted this low. Months ago, ESPN draft guru projected Sam to go in the middle of the third or fourth round. But much of Sam’s projection changed after a poor showing at the NFL combine, where potential draftees are run through a battery of tests. He ran a slow 40-yard dash. As a defensive end, he is considered smaller and slower than most of his NFL contemporaries. What plays fast and dominant in the SEC does not mean Sam, or any player, would be a star in the NFL. And the criticisms of Sam’s attributes are fair. Sam is not the first player in draft history to be selected well below where the player, or many experts, thought he should be taken. Even baseball writer Jon Heyman tweeted out his disbelief that the best defensive player in the best league was not taken until round seven. But was he passed on for being gay? We may never know for sure, but we do know that some of the teams did. Long-time NFL writer Mike Freeman tweeted this: “Several

NFL sources say one team removed Michael Sam from its board fearing he’d be a distraction. They wouldn’t identify the team. #Dumb.” We’re not quite there yet, folks. What to root for As the rounds passed, I thought a lot about my friends on social media who were following the Sam story despite not being sports fans. I thought it was great that they were looking to sports for a historic moment, but it got me to thinking about whether they were looking at the moment in order to honor Sam, or to feel better about themselves. When Sam fell past the sixth round, I began hoping that he would NOT be drafted. Why? Because I was rooting for Michael Sam, the football player. I stopped rooting for the historic moment. Being an undrafted free agent would allow Sam to essentially have his choice of teams to play for, and he could find a team in a community he might feel more comfortable in. He might know players on those teams already. He would command a better signing bonus as a free agent, due to the nature of free markets and competition and he was definitely going to be contacted by many teams. As a draftee, Sam was going to a Rams team that has four firstround picks on its defensive line, and a talented back-up defensive end. They only have one spot open at the position Sam plays, and he is

going to have to earn it. He will be competing with several others, and there is a very good chance Michael Sam will be released during training camp. But if you believe the Rams, it will be because he was not a good enough player to make their team, not because he is gay. But a story trickled out that Sunday which grabbed my attention. Outsports published a brief account of a 15-year old boy who was watching the draft at home with his father, and upon witnessing the Sam video, the boy told his own father that he was gay. And the story had a happy ending. I thought to myself that this is why it was important to root for the historic moment. How many kids will be affected positively by that moment? I root for athletes without giving one damn about their sexuality or even what they look like. I root for their stories and if they are good, I hope they play for my favorite teams. But in this case, I ultimately had to root for the historic moment, because anything that makes it easier for people to come out, or to accept their children for doing so, is the best kind of story. Congratulations, Michael Sam. Now go play your ass off and win a roster spot. —Jeff Praught is actively involved in the LGBT sports community, where he plays in the local softball (AFCSL), football (SDAFFL) and basketball (SD Hoops) leagues. He has served on AFCSL’s board of officers in various capacities and is currently the commissioner of SD Hoops. He can be reached at dugoutchatter@gmail.com.t


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GAY SAN DIEGO May 16–29, 2014

gay-sd.com

Long Beach, Calif. May 17 – 18 Washington, D.C. (Capital Pride)

May 30 – June 8 Los Angeles (West Hollywood June 6 – 8 Salt Lake City, Utah June 6 – 8 Boston June 6 – 15 Fresno, Calif. June 7 Honolulu, Hawaii June 7 Sacramento, Calif. June 14

Tijuana, Baja Calif. June 21 New York June 24 – 29 Santa Fe, N.M. June 28 Flagstaff, Ariz. June 28 – 29 San Francisco June 28 – 29 Seattle June 28 – 29 Los Angeles (At the Beach – L.A. Black Pride)

July 3 – 6 San Luis Obispo, Calif. (Central Coast Pride)

July 10 – 13 Santa Barbara, Calif. (Pacific Pride)

July 12 San Diego July 18 – 20 Vancouver, B.C. Aug. 3 Reno, Nev. Aug. 16 San Jose, Calif. (Silicon Valley Pride)

Aug. 16 – 17 Las Vegas Sept. 5 – 6 Chula Vista, Calif. (South Bay Pride)

Sept. 13 Oceanside, Calif. (Pride @ the beach)

Oct. 11 Bakersfield, Calif. TBD San Bernardino, Calif. Oct. 25 – 26 Palm Springs, Calif. Nov. 7 – 9

Gay San Diego - May 16, 2014  
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