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Volume 7 Issue 22 Nov. 11-24, 2016

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n d a a k w c o e h S ’ ‘

Bublé teaches his children well


Thanking our local service industry


Trump election 'worst possible scenario' for most in community Morgan M. Hurley | Analysis This is a very difficult article to write, but write I shall. As I made my rounds of the bars in Hillcrest on Tuesday evening, what started out with the premise of reporting on a celebratory atmosphere of adulation, inclusion and

A mom and a daughter with gays on the side


hope, very quickly turned into a night of horrifying terror for most of our local LGBT community. I must admit, as the night went on, it became harder and harder to do my job. In bar after bar, I talked to people who, glued to televisions and watching early election re-

turns, were already fearful of the outcome and their very future. Sure, there were a number of times I experienced rooms filled with gays and allies who erupted into cheers when Hillary Clinton was projected to take another state

see Shock, pg 2

Moxie production preview Page 20

New Hillcrest fire station in the works Ken Williams | Contributing Editor City officials symbolically broke ground on Tuesday, Nov. 1, for a new Fire Station No. 5 in Hillcrest. The price tag will be $9.2 million. Mayor Kevin L. Faulconer, District 3 Councilmember Todd Gloria and Fire-Rescue Chief Brian Fennessy presided over a brief ceremony outside the outdated fire station, located at the northwest corner of University and Ninth avenues. “This 1950s-era station will be replaced with a modern facility that can house more equipment and fire vehicles to better serve nearby neighborhoods,” Mayor Faulconer said. “It’s an example of the city’s record-level investments in infrastructure and ongoing improvements to public safety coming together for the community’s benefit.” Originally opening in August 1951, Fire Station No. 5 serves a 4-square-mile area that includes Hillcrest. The mayor said it is the city’s third-busiest firehouse — behind City Heights and Downtown — serving 6,000 emergency calls per year. The drab cement-block building, which is painted white, will be demolished in late November

see Fire Station, pg 17

Decoding ‘The Imitation Game’ Turing’s nephew visits San Diego with a new book on his uncle’s life By Walter Meyer

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Alan Turing is seen as a gay icon and martyr, but outside of the LGBT and scientific communities, he was little known until the Academy-Award winning movie “The Imitation Game” — with Benedict Cumberbatch as Turing — made his story known to a much wider world. His nephew, Sir Dermot Turing, made two appearances in San Diego recently to discuss his famous uncle’s life and work and promote the book he wrote, “Prof: Alan Turing Decoded.” The nickname “Prof” came about at Bletchley Park — the headquarters of British code-breaking during World War II, and a focus of the film — because of Alan’s somewhat awkward professorial air. The nickname followed him among his friends and colleagues for the rest of his life although he was never actually a professor. On Oct. 27, Sir Dermot entertained questions following a screening of “The Imitation Game” at the Landmark Theaters in Hillcrest in an event that was presented by the San Diego Biomedical Research Institute in partnership with Lambda Archives.

see Turing, pg 19

Sir Dermot Turing speaks at Scripps Institute of Oceanography in La Jolla. (Photo by Walter Meyer)



GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016



— Colorado, California, Oregon — but as the crimson red that signifies the Republican Party moved more assuredly across the maps of the United States displayed on each TV channel, it was like witnessing a dark plague creep its way west, touching every joyful Hillary supporter and bringing them to their knees. Just the day before, and in fact just that very morning, a secret Facebook group called “Pantsuit Nation,” with its endless posts of positivity — which were often significantly personal — had instilled confidence, unity and an extreme level of certainty within its nearly 3 million members. As the day gave way to evening, however, that certainty was already in a backspin. Inside #1 Fifth Ave., all televisions were queued to MSNBC and all bar stools were filled. Mac, a San Diego resident since 1987, said he’d like to see an end to the death penalty, the legalization of recreational

Three Hillary supporters gather on Flick's patio and try to appear upbeat despite election returns that seem to promise a Trump election. (Photo by Morgan M. Hurley) marijuana in California, and U.S. Rep. “Darrell Issa go away.” Admittedly nervous, he also had a comment on the national election. “I can’t imagine Donald Trump as president of the United States,” he said. Tim, seated across the curved end of the bar from him, agreed. He had voted by mail and had created his own sheet of “I Voted”

stickers for others who also did so. Noting the early concern when Obama first ran, Tim still felt positive. “There is a lot of red, so that is kind of scary but as soon as it gets to the Midwest and California. I think it will be fine,” Tim said. “I hope it will be fine.” Also for marijuana passage, Tim felt California’s condom

proposition was “silly,” feeling they were just trying to “make it tough” on the producers of pornography, which will force them to leave the state. He also didn’t support the stadium measure. Out on the back patio, I was directed to the only Trump supporter in the bar. “If we think about Hillary, things will basically go in the

same direction [as Obama], she admits that,” he said. “So my opinion is we have to make a very determined change that leads our country in a different direction with greater leadership, emphasis on jobs, lower taxes, smaller government, border patrol and illegal immigration, security and the Supreme Court.” When asked if he wasn’t concerned about his rights being taken away with a more conservative Supreme Court, he became incensed. “To me the gay issue is absolutely unimportant; it’s way down on the list,” he said. “There are far more important things. I’m gay but I’m not a gay zealot. The most important thing is how our country is going to survive and the gay thing is not that important. People that are in the gay community put far too much importance on it.” Tiger, who runs the Pictionary games on Wednesday nights, was glued to the television in the back patio. While she said she could “give two shits” about a football stadium, she said her focus was on the national race and mostly concerned about the Supreme Court. “I’m pretty nauseous right now, actually,” she said, watching the returns. “Hillary is going to win, I’m pretty confident about that.” Babycakes had all three televisions on CNN but with the sound off, a standing rule I was told, even during Super Bowl. A number of regulars and their friends had gathered, but it was not overly busy. I spoke to two sisters, both who identify as straight, who were there with their husbands and six friends to watch the returns together. “We were just talking about how there is a sense of fear if Trump wins, but I don’t think I’ve even processed that,” Sarah said. “At the same time, one of the scary things is that if Hillary doesn’t win, half of the country supports the things Trump stands for.” “Right now I am really nervous watching the numbers come in and it’s a little disconcerting,” Sarah’s sister Megan said. “I think when you live in an area like Hillcrest, you have this impression that people are of like-minded everywhere else, because so many people are likeminded in this area. So when you start seeing those numbers come through after she was polling so well in so many places, it is actually kind of alarming.” Megan said she is also hoping for the legalization of marijuana and an end to the death penalty in California. Another young black man at the bar said he was too shy to talk to me on record, but admitted he’d voted for Jill Stein. I next made my way to Urban MO’s and as I waited outside for my turn to get in, I overheard something very disturbing. “If Hillary wins, I hope Trump and Pence’s people kill her and Kaine becomes president,” the man working security at the door said to two other men also waiting to get in. Shocked, I asked him if I had heard him correctly, that he hoped Hillary would be killed. “Oh, I would like to see Trump and Pence killed, too,” he said.

see Election, pg 4


GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

Love is love is love

and I want to help there, too. Listen, I love being able to spout words, but sometimes you gotta put your money where your mouth is. [Liz] said, “Should I call your manager to find out if he thinks it’s OK?” So she called my manager and my manager said, “Why are you asking me? Of course!”

Michael Bublé on leaving an LGBT-affirming legacy, man crushes and male admirers By Chris Azzopardi “You know what I’ll be Googling tonight: Bublé, gay, queer, all that stuff,” said Michael Bublé one recent afternoon, after being informed that said search terms render colorful results. All you lovers, though, needn’t search beyond the dreamy crooner’s recently released album, “Nobody But Me,” and its 10 feel-good tunes, including several new originals and reimagined classics gleaned from the Great American Songbook. Love, naturally, is featured prominently on Bublé’s ninth studio album, as well as in our recent chat, during which the affable ally spoke about the “joy” the LGBT community has brought him and the importance of standing up for queer issues. (Chris Azzopardi | CA) In 2010, you performed on a stage you deemed “phallic” because it resembled a penis. Then, a gay man threw you his keys and you were not shy about bending over and picking them up. (Michael Bublé | MB) [Laughs] I remember! That was a guy named Paul O’Grady and he’s very famous in the UK. He does an act where he dresses up as a woman, who is also very famous, almost like Dame Edna. He’s a sweetie pie. I was so happy that he did that that night because it just gave me so much.

(CA) How would you describe the affection for you from the gay community? (MB) The truth is, I don’t think I could’ve given them as much joy as they’ve given me. I’m in a business where, as you can imagine, I’m surrounded by the gay community. I mean, that’s just my life. I’m an artist, so I’m surrounded by other artists. And everyone from my hair stylist who lives with me on the road to [my stylist] Jeff Kim, who puts me in my suits every day — I mean, god, the question isn’t who’s gay? The question is, who isn’t? [Laughs] And by the way, the ones that seem the most macho, they’re probably gay. (CA) Now would be a good time to talk about how your wife, Luisana Lopilato, thought you were gay when she first met you. (MB) [Laughs] Yes, she walked in this room with a man and the man was so good lookin’ that he made Brad Pitt look dumpy, so I assumed they were together. I naturally assumed that this was her boyfriend or her husband, so I refused to hit on her. And listen, it didn’t help that she didn’t speak English either at the time. Not a word. But the more I drank that night, the more brazen I got about trying to find out what the situation was between them. Finally, after two hours — and I don’t know how


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(CA) How long before there was a pic of you suggestively eating corn on the cob did you become aware of your gay following? (MB) [Laughs] I think it was hours.

Michael Bublé recently released a new record, “Nobody But Me,” and shares what “joy” his LGBT fans have given him. (Courtesy Warner Bros.) many shots and glasses of whiskey — I finally said, [affects a drunk slur] “You guys are such a beautiful couple,” and he said, “We’re not together.” He said, “She came because she likes you.” And at the same time, she was on the phone texting her mom saying, “Oh my god, Michael Bublé is all over my friend. He’s so gay.” (CA) She knows you’re straight now, right? (MB) [Laughs] I assume so. I

mean, after the kids. Also, I assume she thinks I’m not gay when every night I say, “Mmmmm?!” and she says, “No, I have a headache.” (CA) You recently donated items that were auctioned off to benefit the Stonewall National Monument. (MB) To be honest, I’m doing more because of [my publicist] Liz Rosenberg. There’s something I have in the works. There’s the Harvey Milk High School that she was talking about here in New York

(CA) Just hours? (MB) Hours! You know, that day I took my godson, my best friend and his wife to Disneyland and I was looking after him because he’s a little guy. He’s 4 years old and he had this corn, and butter was everywhere. So, I was trying to help him with napkins and then I grab mine and it was dripping … and my first thought was … oh god, you know what I mean. It was just the worst timing ever. The truth is, I had fun with it. There are so many terrible things you could do to land in the press or go viral with, and if that’s the worst thing, then you know what, I just gotta laugh at myself. (CA) But seriously: When did you know you had a gay following? (MB) Listen, I’m not Madonna. I don’t look out and see thousands of gay couples out at the shows, but even at the start, man, when I played the Blue Note [a jazz club in Greenwich Village, NYC]. I’ll tell you the honest truth: I played the Blue Note 16 years ago, and the other night I had a show there, and I’m

see Interview, pg 15



GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

Be kind to each other Back Out with Benny Ben Cartwright It’s really hard to write a column on Election Day, as the course of our nation will change drastically depending on its results. While this column will be published a few days after we know who our next president will be, at the time of this writing, I have no idea. So I’m not going to write anything about that. This isn’t typically a political column anyway. I did, however, want to talk about how we treat each other in our community. Now, of course, I could write so many different columns about how this election season has exposed so much nastiness — especially on social media — but I’m not going to focus on that either. But let me start with a quick story. Some may know that I work occasional shifts at the door at San Diego’s most popular gay nightclub, Rich’s, and I’m always in awe being on that side of the industry and seeing how hard our friends work who serve us as bartenders, servers, security folks, bar backs and other service industry-related

positions. Over Halloween weekend, I worked Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights and saw and greeted thousands of people who passed through the club’s doors to celebrate the holiday. While I only work occasional shifts, I was reminded that so many in this industry give up all of their weekend nights, holidays and special occasions (like Pride) to make sure our community has the absolute best time. They deal with some really great customers, but also sometimes deal with overly drunk, rude, aggressive and entitled people who seem to lose their sense of humanity — and all because they aren’t getting their way at a bar or nightclub. On the final evening of the very long Halloween celebration (that would be the actual night of Halloween, as gays love to stretch the holiday out for days!), I saw a co-worker at Rich’s being harassed and berated by a group of young customers. One of the customers was aggressively grabbing the employee’s arm and was asked to let go; they wouldn’t and then became angry that they had been asked to stop touching this person. It turned into a giant argument and the customers only

made themselves look like jerks. If someone asks to be let go of, they should immediately be let go of. No absolutely means no. The customers then decided to berate and yell at this employee for being “rude” to them, and of course, were throwing around all sorts of names, and saying how much money they have supposedly have, and all kinds of other stupidity. Once security moved this group along, I was walking to my car and overheard them continue to talk among themselves about what a “rude bitch” this employee was, and the male of the group (who I presume was gay) said “I should have punched that bitch in the face.” After hearing that, I had had enough, and walked up to them and calmly said, “Did you really just say you were going to punch someone who was simply asking you to not to touch them? As a reminder, you own no one’s body but your own.” He looked at me and said, “What the f*** did you just say?” Being non-confrontational, I simply repeated myself and said, “Violence is never the solution nor tolerated in Hillcrest so I would prefer you remove your attitudes from this neighborhood immediately.” I then quickly jumped into my car, because knowing they had had some drinks, I didn’t want to instigate anything else or jeopardize my safety. But I was so frustrated to see how


ELECTION Once inside, most told me they were unable to comment due to what they were seeing on screen. Jake, a gay, middle-aged Latino man, shared that as a government worker, he had been very pleased with the progress of the Obama Administration regarding LGBT rights. He was “a little nervous” watching the returns that those rights would all would be reversed with a Trump presidency. I moved on to Flicks, which was packed to the gills and had MSNBC, CNN and FOX on its televisions. They had just completed a costume contest and Jolene, a local trans activist, had won with her Hillary costume, which included a polyester pantsuit, of course. “I’m transgender, I’m a woman over 50, I’m HIV-positive, I’m on Medi-Cal, and I’m not exactly what Trump would consider ‘pretty,’” she said. “I’m very anxious,” said Jeremy, a young local activist. “A man who does not believe in equal rights for women, LGBT people, African-Americans … we are in a race right now for our rights. I see states that I always thought were very progressive — like Wisconsin and Michigan — that are going for Trump. We made tremendous amount of progress over the last eight years and it’s like we’re going backwards. “If Trump gets elected I will work my ass off to stand up for our rights, to make sure our voices are being heard,” he continued. “We’ll survive but we’ll be putting up a fight every single day.”

Two revelers at Flicks enjoy the evening after the costume contest while returns pour in. (Photo by Morgan M. Hurley)

I noticed that all three TV channels had differing electoral counts at the same point in the evening — significantly different — and while Hillary led in two, the outlook continued to look even more bleak as I made my way to Gossip Grill. “We’re here,” General Manager Moe Girton said as she met me at the door. “But it’s pretty dismal inside.” It was after I entered Gossip that I stopped putting people through the questions. None of us had it in us anymore. Early the next day, I reached out to the president of Democrats for Equality, our local LGBT group, for this article. “Last night, through teary eyes, San Diego Democrats looked in horror as they watched as a nation gone mad take a

step towards darkness,” William Rodriguez-Kennedy said. “There is no way to sugarcoat the consequences of last night’s presidential election especially for the LGBTQ+ community. “We can, however, take solace in the fact that that locally, there is hope. Democracy was served with the passage of measures K and L and it appears that San Diego has elected its first woman and Latina City Attorney in Mara Elliot. Further, though ballots are still being counted, it appears LGBT candidates have prevailed. Georgette Gomez has won her race for San Diego City Council in District 9, Cori Schumacher looks to be ahead in her race for Carlsbad City Council, and Steve Padilla looks to be winning his race for Chula Vista

some people have the audacity to be so disrespectful to human beings who are working their butts off to make sure folks have a good time. And this is just one incident that I recently witnessed. We all know how much our service industry friends have to put up with everyday, so as we are in the month of thanks, I wanted to give a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who works in our LGBT community’s service industry in any capacity. You all work so hard every single day to ensure that our last remaining safe spaces are comfortable, secure, enjoyable places for everyone to be themselves. As someone who occasionally joins you in your work, but more often patronizes your establishments, I can’t express my gratitude enough. When you’re at a gay bar, restaurant, or other establishment this month, please remember to thank all of the employees who are there to make sure you have a good time. If you can, give them an extra tip this season, and just say THANK YOU. Those words go a long way. And next time you get a little too drunk at an establishment (it’s ok! It happens to all of us!) and you’re asked to leave, just leave. Hop in an Uber and go home. There is no need to argue or cause a scene. The bar will be there the next day for you to come back.

Getting out with Benny

City Council.” I spent my Wednesday getting a lot of anger out and letting Trump voters on my Facebook feed know why I wasn’t OK with what they had done. I’m not sure they understand just yet, but they will. Of all the posts I read on Facebook Wednesday, the one filled with the most clarity came from Dr. Delores Jacobs, president and CEO of the San Diego LGBT Community Center, so I end with this: “So many have reached out afraid, most of us didn’t see it coming,” she wrote. “We are saddened, disgusted and outraged. The election rhetoric was bad enough, never mind this outcome. “But we have stood here before — searching for the words, searching for the answers. We have had to find the words and answers together before. We found them. We will find them again. “After eight years of some truly amazing victories for some, we are beginning to realize again that the path forward is longer than we hoped. The systemic racism and sexism; the rage at the loss of an imagined 1950s paradise for some and the fear of change in parts of America — are more deeply entrenched than some among us imagined. “But we also know that we can and will fight together forward toward justice and the America we imagine. The fight isn’t different — it’s just longer. “First we heal ourselves and each other. Then we reexamine where we are, then we #suitup and #showup to win justice … again. “What we won’t do despite the pundits — is tear our communities and coalitions apart searching for ‘who is to blame?’ It’s not

the Berners’ fault. It’s not the millennials’ fault. It’s not those who hope for third parties fault. It’s not the fault of Blacks, PanAsians or Latinos. It’s not the LGBT community’s fault. Finding someone to blame may feel good to some for a moment — but then injustice truly wins. We have learned this before. Many times. “We are an intersectional community that proudly fights for justice, equality and equity, for all of us; proudly, fiercely, unashamedly ... yesterday, today and tomorrow. “Yes the road got longer, yes we are going to catch our breath … but we know we will find the fierce heart to fight again — together.” What she said.

November has already been so busy, and before we know it all of the holiday events will begin too. A couple items of note: The 41st annual Nicky Awards are this Sunday, Nov. 13! This event honors folks in the LGBT community’s service industry, businesses, activists, volunteers and more. Some call it the “Gay Academy Awards of San Diego.” This year’s event will take place at The Handlery Hotel, and features co-emcees Mia Pearl and me! Tickets and info at An event I never miss each year is Transgender Day of Remembrance, taking place this year on Thursday, Nov. 17 at 6 p.m. at The Center. This event remembers the lives of transgender individuals who were lost to hate violence. Our transgender friends need our support more than ever so I encourage you to attend. Details at tinyurl. com/nwhm26l. It will soon be Thanksgiving and then we’re in the full holiday season! We’ll talk more about all the fabulous holiday fundraisers and events next month! —Benny Cartwright is the director of community outreach at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. He can be reached at 619692-2077 ext. 106 or outreach@ Note: Byline photo by Rob Lucas Modern Aperture Photography.t

Go to page 9 to see other election results. —Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at

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Calling fear by its name Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel A key ingredient of a happy life is how you handle fear. Fear is inevitable — it’s a part of life — so what are we going to do with our fear? Most of us are neither encouraged to identify our fears nor are we encouraged to ask for help in working with them. Typically, we may think we don’t “need” to talk about our fears (the stoic, “I’m fine” usually shuts up those people who want to help us) and many people think that talking about fear indicates weakness. On the farm where I grew up, talking about any of my fears meant that I was a “sissy,” less than a real boy. So I learned to keep my fears to myself, including my fears that I was gay. I think this is one reason why I didn’t come out until my 30s. I learned at an early age not to call fear by its name, but to pretend that everything was fine. As children, it’s common to receive negative responses when we express our fears: “That’s nothing.” “Grow up!” “Don’t be a wimp.” It’s rare that a child is asked, “What are you afraid of?” in a non-judgmental way that lets her or him actually express that fear. When I was little, I was scared that there was a monster under my bed. I thought that if I let my hand hang over the edge of the bed while I slept, the monster would grab it and pull me under into his “scary place.” I hesitated to tell my parents what I was afraid of. Sure enough, when I did, my Mom looked under the bed — in broad daylight, of course — and said, “Look, there’s nothing under there to be afraid of.” I gave up trying to explain to her that she’d have to come at night and surprise “him” if she wanted to catch him. She never did. Pema Chodron, in her book, “The Places That Scare You,” talks about how to work with our fears: “So we ask ourselves, ‘What do I do when I feel I can’t handle what’s going on? Where do I look for strength and in what do I place my trust?’ Flexibility

and openness bring strength; running from groundlessness weakens us and brings pain. But do we understand that becoming familiar with the running away is the key? Openness doesn’t come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well.” As LGBT people, our fears may be somewhat unique. We may feel like we’re “not enough,” “flawed” or “less than.” We may pretend to be happier than we really are. In my psychotherapy practice, I see far too many LGBT men and women whose affect doesn’t match the content of what they’re saying: e.g., they have a fake smile plastered on their face as they tell me, “I feel so lonely” or “I’m so angry.” Many of us are afraid to show our true emotions, so we hide our fears. We may feel that we have to be the “best little boy or girl in the world” to compensate for our sexual orientation. To survive in a heteronormative world, we make our happy face a mask to hide the fear inside. Asking for help with our fears isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s quite the opposite, according to Robert Maurer, Ph.D., director of behavioral sciences for the Family Practice Residency Program at UC Los Angeles. According to Dr. Maurer, highly successful people know that asking for and receiving support (when dealing with fear) is a strength. He also encourages his clients to “call fear by its name” and tells them not to call it stress, anxiety or nerves. Call your fear by its name and take away its power. The next time you’re afraid of something or someone, don’t say, “I’m so stressed out” or “I feel anxious.” Instead, go deeper and identify your fear. Name it and you’ll be less tempted to run away and try to avoid it. Fear is a part of life. Own it. Name it and be happier. —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit

GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

Beware of Home Inspection Pitfalls Before You Put Your Hillcrest Home Up for Sale Hillcrest According to industry experts, there are over 33 physical problems that will come under scrutiny during a home inspection when your home is for sale. A new report has been prepared which identifies the eleven most common of these problems, and what you should know about them before you list your home for sale. Whether you own an old home or a brand new one, there are a number of things that can fall short of requirements during a home inspection. If not identified and dealt with, any of these 11 items could cost you dearly in terms of repair. That's why it's critical that you read this report before you list your home. If you wait until the building inspector flags these issues for you, you will almost certainly experience costly delays in the close of your home sale or, worse, turn prospective buyers away altogether. In most cases, you can make a reasonable pre-inspection yourself if you know what you're looking for, and knowing what you're looking for can help you prevent little problems from growing into costly and unmanageable ones. To help homeseller's deal with this issue before their homes are listed, a free report entitled "11 Things You Need to Know to Pass Your Home Inspection" has been compiled which explains the issues involved. To hear a brief recorded message about how to order your FREE copy of this report call toll-free 1-866-220-9502 and enter 1003. You can call any time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Get your free special report NOW to learn how to ensure a home inspection doesn't cost you the sale of your home. This report is courtesy of Moore & Sons Realty BRE #01990368. Not intended to solicit buyers or sellers currently under contract. Copy right © 2016

How to Sell Your North/South Park Home Without An Agent And Save the Commission North Park If you've tried to sell your home yourself, you know that the minute you put the "For Sale by Owner" sign up, the phone will start to ring off the hook. Unfortunately, most calls aren't from prospective buyers, but rather from every real estate agent in town who will start to hound you for your listing. Like other "For Sale by Owners", you'll be subjected to a hundred sales pitches from agents who will tell you how great they are and how you can't possibly sell your home by yourself. After all, without the proper information, selling a home isn't easy. Perhaps you've had your home on the market for several months with no offers from qualified buyers. This can be a very frustrating time, and many homeowners have given up their dreams of selling their homes themselves. But don't give up until you've read a new report entitled "Sell Your Own Home" which has been prepared especially for homesellers like you. You'll find that selling your home by yourself is entirely possible once you understand the process. Inside this report, you'll find 10 inside tips to selling your home by yourself which will help you sell for the best price in the shortest amount of time. You'll find out what real estate agents don't want you to know. To hear a brief recorded message about how to order your FREE copy of this report call toll-free 1866-220-9502 and enter 1017. You can call any time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Get your free special report NOW to learn how you really can sell your home yourself.

This report is courtesy of Moore & Sons Realty BRE #01990368. Not intended to solicit buyers or sellers currently under contract. Copy right © 2016 This report is courtesy of Moore & Sons Realty BRE#01990368. Not intended to solicit buy ers or sellers currently under contract. Copy right © 2016




GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

Letters Attention to Mister A’s

[Ref: “Attention to detail,” Vol. 7, Issue 22, or online at tinyurl. com/po29mds] I loved Mr. A’s in the old days and I would prefer to hear that other people did too. Calling it “gaudy” was unnecessary. It was magnificent! —Betty Gronhowski, via Where do I make a reservation?! —Tony Cucuzzella, via —Letters to the editor can be sent to Comments can also be made on our website or Facebook page.t

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Transgender rights in the workplace California employers receive long-awaited guidance By Adriana Cara California has traditionally been one of the most progressive states in the nation when it comes to protecting employees’ rights in the workplace. True to form, the state legislature led the charge to expand employees’ legal protections when it elected to revise the Fair Employment and Housing Act (“the FEHA”) to add “gender” to the definition of “sex” in 2003. Note that the FEHA borrowed the definition of that term from the California Penal Code, which defines gender as “the victim’s actual sex or the defendant’s perception of the victim’s sex, which includes the defendant’s perception of the victim’s identity, appearance, or behavior, whether or not that identify, appearance, or behavior is different than that traditionally associated with the victim’s sex at birth.” (See Cal. Penal Code § 422.76.) In 2011, the California legislature took its next significant step to advance the rights of transgender individuals in the workplace by amending the FEHA to expressly include “gender expression” and EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Ken Williams, x102 Jeff Clemetson, x119 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi Charlene Baldridge Ben Cartwright David Dixon Michael Kimmel Walter Meyer Frank Sabatini Jr. SENIOR INTERN David Sengmany INTERN Jessica Rumsey

“gender identity” as protected categories. These changes, which served to clarify existing, but often misunderstood law explained that gender expression refers to “a person’s gender-related appearance and behavior, whether or not stereotypically associated with the person’s assigned sex at birth,” and gender identity as “a person’s identification as male, female, a gender different from the person’s sex at birth, or transgender.” Although the above workplace protections have now been in force in California for several years, the Department of Fair Employment and Housing (DFEH), the agency charged with enforcing the mandates of the FEHA, has taken the extra step of providing much-needed guidance on the rights of transgender individuals in the workplace. The DFEH issued new guidelines that are contained in a succinct, one-page publication that focuses on the definition of the term “transgender,” as well as three most frequently asked questions concerning transgender rights in the workplace. In sum, the DFEH guidelines clarify the following: WEB & SOCIAL MEDIA Jen Van Tieghem, x118 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich ART DIRECTOR Todd Kammer SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958 ADVERTISING CONSULTANTS Lisa Hamel, x107 Andrew Bagley, x106 Matt Cunningham, x105 Sloan Gomez, x104 Lionel Talaro, x113

• People who identify as transgender are protected. An individual who identifies as a transgender individual is protected by the FEHA. An employer must agree to accommodate a person consistent with their gender identity, regardless of whether they’ve completed any step in the gender transition process. • There are two kinds of gender transition. The DFEH guidelines explain that there are two types of gender transitions, namely “social transition” and “physical transition.” “Social transition involves a process of socially aligning one’s gender with the internal sense of self (e.g., changes in name and pronoun, bathroom facility usage, participation in activities like sports teams).” Physical transition, on the other hand, involves “medical treatments an individual undergoes to physically align their body with their internal sense of self (e.g., hormone therapies or surgical procedures).” • Employers are prohibited from eliciting information from applicants and employees that could reveal the sexual orienta-

ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962 WEB DESIGN Kim Espinoza

DISTRIBUTION Gay San Diego is distributed free every other Friday of the month. COPYRIGHT 2016. All rights reserved. PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951

tion or gender identity of an individual. While employers are permitted to ask individuals about their employment history and personal references, they should refrain from asking questions regarding that person’s “marital status, spouse’s name, or relation to household members to one another.” Further, employers may not ask individuals about a person’s body and whether they plan to have surgery. In additional to violating the FEHA, this information is generally protected against disclosure by state and federal privacy laws. • Dress and grooming standards. Employees have the right to dress in a manner consistent with their gender identities. While employers may still implement a dress code in the workplace, it must be implemented in a non-discriminatory manner. “This means, for instance, that a transgender woman must be allowed to dress in the same manner as non-transgender women, and that her compliance with such as dress code cannot be judged more harshly than nontransgender women.” • Bathrooms, showers and locker rooms. Employees have the right to use a restroom, locker

room or shower facility that corresponds with their gender identities, “regardless of the employee’s assigned sex at birth.” Further, if feasible, “an employer should provide an easily accessible unisex single stall bathroom for use by any employee who desires increased privacy, regardless of the underlying reason.” Such a restroom may also be used by an employee who does not wish to share a bathroom facility with a transgender person. However, an employee, whether transgender or non-transgender, should never be forced to use the unisex bathroom facility. Although California laws protecting the rights of transgender individuals in the workplace have been around for over a decade, they continue to be misunderstood. As such, employers are advised to seek the assistance of experienced employment counsel before implementing or updating their current workplace policies. —Adriana Cara, Esq., is a labor and employment partner in the San Diego office of Dinsmore & Shohl, LLP. She can be reached at, 619-4365182. The DFEH Guidelines are available on the DFEH’s website, visit

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GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

Playhouse’s unusual new musical


Theater Review Charlene Baldridge La Jolla Playhouse on Nov. 6 opened the world premiere of a musical titled “Miss You Like Hell,” which is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, unless you’ve seen the work of and are a fan of plays and musicals by bookwriter/lyricist Quiara Alegría Hudes — among them ”Water by the Spoonful” (Pulitzer Prize for drama), “Elliot, a Soldier’s Fugue” and “In the Heights” (Tony Award for best musical). Hudes wrote the book and lyrics of “Miss You Like Hell.” Like characters in her other works, characters in the new musical are deeply fascinating and deeply flawed, and audiences grow to love and care about them quickly, at the same time wondering what the hell is going on from the standpoint of reality. Unafraid of writing mother/ daughter confrontations, Hudes possesses a sense of magic realism all her own. Perhaps her gifts are not for everyone, but they certainly speak to my experience of being a woman. “Miss You Like Hell” is well supported by Erin McKeown’s music and additional lyrics, though I would like a few more melodic songs. Like so many musicals these days, the lyric-rich score contains a lot of extended recitative. The lyrics, however, are breathtaking; for instance: “You are the bread and I am the hunger” in the closing song. The quirky work is directed by a woman, Lear deBessonet, and the music director and conductor is live-wire Julie McBride, who seems to relish the percussive elements of the score as she, plainly visible at the keyboard, leads a versatile seven-piece orchestra. Choreographer Danny Mefford is indeed male, but we forgive him because of his involvement with “Fun Home” and “Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson,” among others. Dance crops up all over the place, commenting succinctly on the absurd story of Beatriz (Daphne Rubin-Vega, who created Mimi in “Rent”) and her emotionally distraught late-teen daughter, Olivia (Krystina Alabado, whose Broadway credits include “American Psycho”). We’re never certain of Olivia’s exact age because Beatriz, an undocumented Mexican national who bore Olivia in the U.S., lies whenever it is expedient. She appears in the musical’s first scene, literally abducting her abandoned, stinky, suicidal, pajama-clad daughter in order to take her to the West Coast to testify in Beatriz’s deportation hearing. Olivia capitulates, though she is not about to give up her imaginary online correspondent named Castaway (Victor Chan, replete with palm tree and island). She wants only to see the buffaloes in Yellowstone National Park. Hopes of re-establishing a relationship with her mother are slim. The truth is,

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Left: The cast of "Miss You Like Hell" includes a gay couple (center) who get married in multiple cities across the U.S. as the play progresses. Above: (l to r) Krystina Alabado (Olivia) and Daphne Rubin-Vega (Beatriz) play a mother and daughter with a challenging relationship. (Photos by Jim Carmody)

“Miss You Like Hell” Book and lyrics by Quiara Alegría Hudes Music and lyrics by Erin McKeown Directed by Lear deBessonet Tuesdays through Sundays Through Dec. 4 Mandell Weiss Theatre, La Jolla Playhouse 2910 La Jolla Village Drive 858-550-1010 Beatriz is as dysfunctional as Olivia. In addition to Chan, the two-hour plus musical employs an ensemble of seven, who sing, dance and portray additional characters encountered on the cross-country road trip. The most developed are Julio Monge as Manuel, a tamale vendor who

assumes chauffeur duties and falls for Beatriz; and Cliff Bemis and David Patrick Kelly as an endearing, superannuated gay couple intent on marrying in every state. Other ensemble players are Vanessa A. Jones, Cashaé Monya, Kurt Nörby and Olivia Oguma. Standout songs are “Dance With Me,” performed by Beatriz and Olivia, and “Tamales,” which shows off Monge’s appeal and lovely voice. Equally impressive are the scenic design of Donyale Werle, costume design of Emilio Sosa, lighting design of Tyler Micoleau (lovely on-the-road sunsets), and the sound design of Dan Moses Schreier. —Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the arts since 1979. Follow her blog at or reach her at


Soldier Songs “…a highly charged experience with arresting

projections, eye-catching visuals and a thunderous score.” —GSU News


a Natash Lyonne

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Taken from interviews with veterans, Soldier Songs explores the idealism versus the reality of being a soldier facing combat and the complexities of war and its impact. A 90 minute performance —includes the opera and a panel discussion with military veterans. Soldier Songs contains strong language, simulated gunshots, explosions, and other

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GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

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Local races of interest U.S. Senate 48 | 51 Kamala D. Harris 4,861,261 | 62% Loretta L. Sanchez 2,914,651 | 38%

U.S. Reps 192 | 239


8 Simple Safety Tips for Online Shopping Online shopping has become so common with consumers that it’s easy to develop bad habits when it comes to protecting your personal information. With the holidays, and holiday shopping fast approaching, now is a good time for consumers to remind themselves how they can stay safe while shopping online.

• District 49

Whether making purchases on a mobile device or home computer, here are eight tips to keep your personal information protected this holiday season.

• District 50

1. Use a familiar website. Rather than click on an ad, start at your favorite retail outlet’s website.

Darrell Issa 93,696 | 51% Doug Applegate |89,717 49% Duncan Hunter 102,773|64% Patrick Malloy 57,250 | 36%

• District 51

Juan Vargas 70,363 | 72% Juan Hildago 27,469 |28%

• District 52

Scott Peters 102,773 |57% Denise Gitsham 76,943 |43%

• District 53

Susan Davis 106,187 | 66% James Veltmeyer 34,439 |34%

State Senate Dist. 39

Toni Atkins 143,380 | 63% John Renison 86,493 | 34%

State Assembly • 78th District

Todd Gloria 80,763 | 69% Kevin D. Melton 36,670 | 31%

• 79th District

Shirley Weber 59,481 | 64% John Moore 33,518 | 36%

• 80th District

Lorena Gonzalez 53,899 | 76% Lincoln Pickard 17,412 | 24%

Board of Sups Dist. No. 3

Dave Roberts 64,564 | 51% Kristin Gaspar 62,271 | 49%

City of SD City Attorney Mara Elliott 144,082 | 57% Robert Hickey 110,286 | 44%

City Council Dist. No. 9

Georgette Gomez 10,017 | 53% Ricardo Flores 9,048 | 43%

Carlsbad City Council (2)

Keith Blackburn 12,467 | 24% Cori Schumacher 10,471 | 20% Lorraine M. Wood 10,398 | 20%

Chula Vista City Council Steve Padilla 6,257 | 56% Jason Paguio 4,894 | 44%t

GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

2. Look for the icon of a green padlock in the URL address bar. It could also appear at the bottom of your browser. This signifies added security. 3. Never buy anything from a site that doesn’t have secure sockets layer (SSL) encryption. You’ll know if a website has it because it will start with ‘HTTPS://’ rather than just ‘HTTP://’. 4. No online shopping site should ever ask for your social security number or birthdate to do business. Provide as little information as possible to online retailers. 5. Check your accounts regularly, especially during the holidays. Don’t wait for your statement to identify fraudulent charges. If you see something wrong, call your bank or credit card company immediately. You may be protected against fraudulent charges.

6. Make sure your devices are up-to-date on their antivirus protection. 7. Be careful where you click. Avoid unknown pop-up ads or ads imbedded in unfamiliar websites. 8. Don’t send your credit card information via email or post on social media, even in private messages. Another way to keep your personal information protected is to make sure your devices are protected. There are several ways to maintain the most up-to-date protection on your computer or mobile device.

The Security Suite offers virus and spyware protection; vulnerability scanner; firewall; Spam protection; remote locate; lock and wipe feature for mobile devices; CaptureCam that allows mobile devices to email a photo of the person holding a lost device plus the device location; backup; WebAdvisor that verifies links within web browsers; and more! For more information on online security and the Cox Security Suite Plus, visit and search for ‘online security’ or visit a Cox Solutions Store in your neighborhood today.

1. Lock your device with a password. 2. Be mindful of what you download. 3. Update when prompted. 4. Delete apps that are no longer being used from mobile devices. 5. Disable WiFi and Bluetooth when not in use. 6. Install security software, and update regularly. Cox customers can stay one step ahead with Cox Security Suite Plus powered by McAfee, a free service included with Cox High Speed Internet. You can protect up to five Windows or Mac OS X computers, Android smartphones and tablets, and Apple iOS iPhones and iPads through each Cox account.

Visit a customer service representative at the Cox Solutions Store in Hillcrest today at 1220 Cleveland Avenue, or call (619) 780-0800 for more information on Internet safety.



GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016



GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016


San Diego-based Primos Management Inc. has opened Primos Public Corner, a full-service restaurant and bar in Mission Valley’s Fenton Marketplace. The company operates more than 20 fast-casual eateries under the name Primos Mexican Food, although this is its first large-scale establishment, said chief marketing officer James Quijano. In addition to a wide selection of Baja-style cocktails and craft beers, the food offerings include everything from mole french fries and bourbon-Sriracha flautas to New York strip tacos and fire-roasted chile rellenos. 2401 Fenton Pkwy., Suite 104, 619-6845777,

Kristianna Zabala brings national recognition to Nomad Donuts

(Courtesy Nomad Donuts)

And the first-place winner of Cooking Channel’s “Sugar Showdown” is … Chef Kristianna Zabala of Nomad Donuts, who came away with the $10,000 prize after recently surviving a few elimination rounds during the show’s second season. One of her winning creations early in the competition was a cranberry-goat cheese cruller with chocolateorange drizzle. The cruller has since landed on Nomad’s rotating menu. 4504 30th St., 619-431-5000,

New Orleans Creole Café before renovations, which will be completed by early December (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

The East Village will see the arrival of Breakfast Republic in February by restaurateur Johan Engman, who established the breakfast-lunch concept in North Park and Liberty Station, and just opened a third location in Encinitas. His East Village venture will move into the space previously occupied by Zanzibar Café. It will feature a sidewalk patio and signature menu items such as creative pancake flights, house-made crab cakes, and shrimp and grits with eggs. 707 G St.,

After an eight-month closure, Mark W. Bihm and his husband, Humberto Villegas, will reopen their New Orleans Creole Café in Old Town by early December. The tucked-away restaurant, which occupies two historic structures for a dining room and kitchen, received permanent foundations and new wiring and drainage systems. In addition, the buildings have been repainted, new corbels were added, and the dining room’s front porch was expanded. “The property is back to its 1860s glory,” said Bihm, adding that new pasta dishes will be added to the menu, and he will soon begin bottling and selling the restaurant’s Cajun-style barbecue sauce, which originates from a family recipe. 2476 San Diego Ave., 619-542-1698,


Don’t just plead guilty! There may be defenses in your case that can lead to reduced charges or even a dismissal!

GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

A new urban brewery is born


(Photo by Todd Warshaw)

J & L Eppig Brewing opened Nov. 2 in an abandoned North Park building that was once a strip club. The 2,000-square-foot space features a tasting room and 16-tap beer system that has so far made way for a series or lagers, a coffee stout, and a Gose-style brew accented with grapefruit. The venture was launched by Todd Warshaw, his wife Stephanie Eppig, and two brewers formerly of Ballast Point — Clayton Le Blanc and Nate Stephens. The lagers and business name, Warshaw said, are an ode to his wife’s family history, when two of its members ran breweries in the mid to late 1800s in Brooklyn, New York. In the absence of a kitchen, guests are welcome to bring in food or have it delivered. Washaw adds he will eventually start working with local food trucks. 3052 El Cajon Blvd., 619-501-1840, eppigbrewing.

Dozens of local chefs put their best foot forward at the San Diego Bay Wine + Food Festival (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

San Diego’s biggest Epicurean event, the San Diego Bay Wine + Food Festival, returns for the 13th year with a host of chefdriven dinners, culinary presentations, and wine and beer tastings held at various venues throughout San Diego, from Nov. 14-20. The festival’s main attraction is the Grand Tasting, which features samples from more than 700 wines, plus foods from nearly 70 of San Diego’s most notable chefs and gourmet vendors. It will be held from noon–3 p.m., Nov. 19, at Embarcadero Marina Park North (500 Kettner Blvd.) Tickets are $135 or $175 for early entry at 11 a.m. For a complete list of events and highlights, visit —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at

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GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

Fried foods, be gone Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr. We initially delved into housemade potato chips, Buffalo-style chicken wings and shrimp ceviche stacked on a trio of delectably crisped corn tortillas — foods you’d expect from everyday restaurants that make no apologies for weaving a little grease into your meal. Yet at the new Drift eat + drink, there isn’t a deep fryer to be found, which is exactly what the kitchen intended. Drift replaced the outdated Michael’s inside the Hyatt Regency La Jolla after a $12 million renovation to areas of the hotel. It soft-opened in September with a sleek mid-century design, spanning two interior dining areas and a central bar. There’s also a spacious patio replete with comfy furniture, outdoor heaters, and plush throw blankets for chilly nights. In the absence of signage, which we’re told is coming soon, patrons enter the main lobby and hang right down a small hallway leading to Drift’s wellmarked threshold. To the left is a sparsely decorated dining room filled with four-top tables and string lights. The area to the right is loungier with softer lighting, sofa sets, high tops and communal tables equipped with electrical outlets for charging up

your phones and laptops. Perhaps to some, the intended “surf culture of Southern California” is obvious. To me it wasn’t, although I found the aesthetics smooth and appealing anyway. Dinner potentially begins with a handcrafted cocktail using a house-made syrup and fresh, muddled fruit, such as what goes into the raspberry-orange martini. Or from a list of classics, the bar obliges with mojitos, Manhattans, mules, etc. The wine list is concise, but covers the leading varietals as well as a couple of blends such as Hess Treo, an inky red that falls squarely into the category of a good food wine given its light acidity and mellow fruit. It paired easily to everything we ordered, including the sweet and tangy ceviche bedded on house-made oven-baked corn tortillas you’d swear were fried. The Kettle-style potato chips will fool you, too. It was obvious the wings were baked. Void of crispy dark spots, they needed a few final minutes under a hot broiler. But the sauce was authentically Buffalo-style, the accompanying bleu cheese was robust, and the jicama and carrots for dipping were snappier than the stringy, overripe celery sticks. Skipping over tempting choices within the salad and flatbread categories, we proceeded to the soup of the day, which combined corn and lentils in what tasted like fine, beefy

(above) One of two dining areas inside Drift eat + drink (Courtesy Murphy O’Brien Public Relations); (from above right, top to bottom) baked chicken wings; shrimp ceviche tostadas; salmon with veggies and lemon-butter sauce; the “giant” meatball with house-made ricotta (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) chili, sans the meat. Served with a loaf of warm, crusty bread and herbed butter, the combination was as soothing as slipping into a pair of flannel pajamas on a nippy night. Our waitress, Ivy, was an obvious professional. She recently transferred here through Hyatt from Minneapolis, and worked previously in Hilton restaurants at other locations. Whatever we asked about certain dishes, she knew the exact specs. We were naturally curious about the “giant meatball” for $21 on the entrée list. Ivy explained it’s an eight-ounce orb of pork and beef while giving us

Drift eat + drink

3777 La Jolla Village Drive


Prices: Starters, soups and salads, $8 to $17; sandwiches and flatbreads, $15 to $17; entrees, $18 to $26 an accurate visual of its size with her thumbs and index fingers. Though not so giant, we ordered it anyhow.


J. Bernard Calloway and Tyrone Davis, Jr. Photo by Jim Cox.

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The ball was denser than expected and it cut better with a knife than our forks due to the lack of breadcrumbs in the mix. Covered in fresh-tasting pomodoro sauce and topped with a dollop of excellent house-made ricotta, I liked everything about the dish except for the odd pairing of vegetables propping up the meatball. The carrots were a somewhat natural fit, since many Italians use them to sweeten their tomato sauces. But potatoes and asparagus? It isn’t as though they clashed with the sauce, they just didn’t connect. The dish basically cried for a plop of pasta instead, or some of that same good bread served with the soup. My companion ordered the sustainable salmon, a rather thick fillet cooked to a soft pink inside and with a gentle sear on the outside. The lemon-butter sauce gave rise to everything on the plate — the fish and the same medley of vegetables that sat forgotten under my meatball. Other entrees such as stout-braised short ribs, roasted half chicken and the curried cauliflower casserole I almost ordered are available only from 5 to 10 p.m. Yet appetizers, salads, flatbreads and six different sandwiches are up for grabs throughout the daytime in an atmosphere that is actually among the least fussy of hotel restaurants in La Jolla. Drift also offers happy hour from 4 to 7 p.m., daily, when draft beers are $4, wines by the carafe are $5 off, select cocktails are $8, and flatbreads drop down to $10 each. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at fsabatini@san.

10/25/16 3:15 PM


INTERVIEW still close with one of the first fans I ever had in America — forget about the world — in America. And his name is Johnny Blue Note and he’s about 6-foot-5, a New Yorker with a huge personality and he’s beautiful. I got sentimental the other night. I did a big radio show to open up the record and I looked into this little, intimate club and there was Johnny Blue Note. And I got sentimental. I talked about [him] during the show. So, I think from the very start there was Johnny. That was my first ever gig, and one of my greatest fans and harshest critics was Johnny. He was my foray into my relationship with the gay community and me as an entertainer. Even before my music director was Alan Chang, there was Bryant Olender and Bryant is this really smart, funny, talented, slutty, very gay musical director. (CA) You say you’re no Madonna, but still, you’ve performed with several gay icons: Barbra Streisand, Mariah Carey, Kylie Minogue … (MB) Kylie Minogue, yes. I sang with her, and actually, I was supposed to see her in Vancouver. She was going to come over and have tea with me, but I had to fly to Europe. She had been there and was going to come over, because I happened to sing with her on a Rod Stewart special and we really got on and liked each other, so I was just gonna hang out with her literally weeks ago. And Elton John is somebody I’ve gotten to know. I love him very much. Obviously, we don’t have to talk about how talented he is — we know how talented he is. He’s also really warm and effusive with me and I just saw him in Vegas. I went backstage and gave him a big hug. He was so happy and he really enjoyed being there. It’s funny, man, because I gotta guess that there are people out there who are gay in this business but won’t tell anyone. (CA) Have you met these closeted stars? (MB) Yeah, I meet them and I get the impression. And listen, I’m not gonna be the guy who outs the person, but it always made me wonder: “Why?” I understand if they are afraid, or they don’t want to tell their parents, but the fact that it could be a question within this business of hurting your business is just mind-blowing to me. (CA) Do any of them confide in


you? (MB) No. I mean, I have the worst gaydar ever. I really do have the worst gaydar. I could be hanging with somebody and my friends will be like, “Michael, he was hitting on you hard,” and I’m like, “What are you talking about — he’s just a really nice guy!” Sometimes I don’t pick up the shit people are puttin’ down. (CA) If a gay couple asked you to sing any of the songs off this new album at their wedding, which would you sing and why? (MB) Aww. I think maybe “The Very Thought of You.” And to be honest with you, man — I don’t care if it’s a gay or a straight or a black or a poor wedding — love is love. And I think that would be a really beautiful, romantic first dance. (CA) In the past, you’ve mancrushed on Blake Shelton and One Direction’s Niall Horan. Who are you currently man-crushing on? (MB) That’s a good question. God, you wanna hear who I’m man-crushing on? There’s a couple of them. My No. 1 man crush is probably John Oliver [host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver”]. The other is [“The Daily Show” host] Trevor Noah. Goddamn — what a stunning South-African man. You know what I love man? I love that they’re self-deprecating and funny and I know they’re empathetic because their point of view tells me that. Obviously, they’re liberal, progressive, self-confident; they have a great sense of humor. I just love that. [American astrophysicist] Neil deGrasse Tyson too. And god, the late [Anglo-American author and essayist] Christopher Hitchens. If you can man crush on a dead guy, I am man-crushin’ on a dead guy. [Linguist and philosopher] Noam Chomsky, I love. I’m trying to think of people I spend most of my evenings with, because this is whom I spend most of my evenings with. Oh, Lawrence Krauss, the greatest astrophysicist. Honestly, their intelligence and skill at orating just … I mean, I’m wet. (CA) Is it true that your Uncle Frank and Uncle Mike, who have been together for over 40 years, taught you acceptance and openmindedness? (MB) With or without them, the truth is, my father and my mother were so progressive, and I’m so lucky that my father just made it very simple. He just said, “It’s nature. A man can love a man and a woman can love a woman and this doesn’t just happen with human beings — it’s science. It happens

Michael Bublé counts many intellectuals among his “man crushes.” in nature. It happens with almost every animal.” Having two boys of my own who I love more than I’ll ever love myself, I can’t tell you how crushing it would be if they couldn’t feel that they could tell their father that they were gay — or different in any way. To me, [because of them], it just became a much bigger issue. (CA) If one of your sons were to come out to you, how might you respond? (MB) With nothing but love. And I’m not saying that to you because it’s you or the magazine. It’s because I love them, man. I love them so much that I just want them to be happy. My goal in life is to make them beautiful, happy human beings, and if that’s who they are — because I’m killed, just devastated, when I hear people saying they “choose.” “Choose”? What are you

(Courtesy Warner Bros.)

fucking talking about? You don’t choose. It isn’t a choice. It is genetic. And I understand some people have an issue with the whole marriage thing and the sanctity of this word “marriage.” I mean, I don’t get it, but I can choose to listen to their point and hear it. I don’t agree with it. I always joke, everyone jokes: Why can’t gay people be just as miserable as straight people who are married? But listen to me, we are in a world — a dangerous world — right now and if you’re not standing up against intolerance, then you’re for it. God, I sounded like George W. fucking Bush right there, holy shit. “If you’re not with us, you’re against us!” (CA) As an ally with a massive platform, it’s important for you to say that for this movement to move forward. (MB) I agree. And you know

what, I think people are so afraid of losing fans. (CA) Are you afraid of that? (MB) No, no. I’m not. Because you know what, years from now, when my kids grow up and they read this, they’re going to be proud of their father because their father was on the right side of the line. There are a lot of people and time does this, who are going to be severely embarrassed for their bias and intolerance. And they’re going to have to live with that; that’s going to be their legacy. I refuse to have that as part of my legacy. —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. He can proudly say Mariah Carey once called him a “daaahhhling.” Reach him via his website at and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).t

events attheCenter tuesday, nov. 15

thursday, nov. 17

Young Women’s Discussion Group, 7:30 pm, the Center

transgender Day of remembrance

Join other young women ages 18-30 on the third Tuesday of every month to discuss academics, careers, relationships, politics, social media, pop culture, community building, activism and ways to be more involved in the LGBT community. Meet like-minded people and share your experiences as a member of the LGBT community. For more information, contact aaron heier at 619.692.2077 x211, or

6 pm, the Center

Wednesday, nov. 16

Lunch & Learn:

talking Sex – PreP and a new Generation in hIV Prevention

12 noon, the Center Join Senior Services for an informative and interactive presentation about PrEP, the once-daily pill that helps prevent HIV infection. We will discuss the basics of how PrEP works, the effects it has on the LGBTQ community, and how to continue opening up the dialogue around sex in a positive, affirming manner. For more information, contact Larue Fields at or 619.692.2077 x205.

Join us for San Diego’s 13th Annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. A candlelight vigil will leave the San Diego LGBT Community Center in Hillcrest at 6pm and the program will commence at 7pm at The Center. All are welcome to join us as we remember all those we have lost due to anti-transgender violence. Refreshments will be served at the close of the program. For more information contact Connor Maddocks at

Friday, nov. 18

Free Family Movie night

6:30-8:30 pm, the Center Join Families @ The Center at family movie night every third Friday of the month. Bring the whole family with sleeping bags or blankets. Enjoy popcorn and snacks while you watch a family-friendly movie. For more information, contact us at The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 Twitter: @LGBTCenter



GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016


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FIRE STATION after a temporary facility is opened at 4311 Third Ave. elsewhere in Hillcrest. Construction on the new facility is expected to be finished in 2018, Gloria said. “Today marks the beginning of an important and much-needed public safety improvement for Hillcrest and its surrounding neighborhoods,” Gloria said. “Fire Station No. 5 is one of the busiest engine companies in the city of San Diego and with the construction of this new facility we will not only better equip our FireRescue Department to respond to emergencies faster, but also improve the living conditions for our firefighters who dedicate themselves every day to keeping our residents safe.” Local architect Rob Quigley, known for the Downtown’s Main Library with its iconic dome, has designed the new 10,731-squarefoot, two-floor station. The mayor said the new fire station would be twice the size of the old one, which could not house a modernday ladder truck. Chief Fennessy, who noted that he was based at Fire Station No. 5 many years ago, said the new facility would not automatically get a ladder truck but was glad to have that option for the future. “Our firefighters are committed to their city, department and mission,” Fennessy said. “The firefighters assigned to Fire Station No. 5 have a long history of ensuring that fires are suppressed quickly and medical calls are answered with excellent patient care. With a larger and modernized station, they’ll be able to continue that tradition for generations to come.”

The new station will have a larger apparatus bay to house a fire engine and a chief emergency vehicle. The dormitories will provide sleeping quarters for one battalion chief, two captains and six firefighters. This will be the fourth fire station to be built since the city committed to improve neighborhood services. Construction has begun on fire stations for Bayside and City Heights, and Fire Station No. 45 in Mission Valley opened Nov. 2, 2015 near Qualcomm Stadium. Of interest to readers of Gay San Diego, in 2007, four firefighters at Station No. 5 filed a complaint with the state, saying they were “forced” to participate in that year’s gay pride parade where they felt sexually harassed. They claimed riding on the fire truck while experiencing “sexually-charged gestures” created a hostile working environment under the state’s Fair Employment and Housing Code. In 2008, the department’s rules were changed, stating that firefighters could volunteer for the parade but were not forced to participate. In 2010, the firefighters prevailed against the city when the California Supreme Court refused to hear the city’s appeal. Though each firefighter received a payout and attorney’s fees, one of the larger complaints was overcome by events due to the department’s previous change in rules, making the parade a voluntary activity. —Editor Morgan M. Hurley contributed to this report. —Ken Williams is editor of Uptown News and can be reached at or at 619-9611952. Follow him on Twitter at @KenSanDiego, Instagram at @ KenSD. t

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GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016


Left: (l to r) Firefighters watch as District 3 Councilmember Todd Gloria, Mayor Kevin L. Faulconer, Fire-Rescue Chief Brian Fennessy and Hillcrest Town Council chair emeritus Luke Terpstra break ground on new fire station in Hillcrest. (Photo by Ken Williams) Right: Architectural rendering of the new fire station, designed by the man who brought us the Downtown Central Library (Courtesy Rob Quigley)


GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

and DJ Tristan Jaxx. This edition will include New Year’s Eve ticket giveaways.10 p.m.–5 a.m. Spin Nightclub, 2028 Hancock St., Middletown. Visit


Veterans Day Big Bear Lesbian Getaway: This three-day getaway, organized by the group Lesbian Getaways for couples and singles at a historic lodge in Big Bear, is underway. Area activities include: hiking, a zip line tour, jet skiing, and more. International Travel House Big Bear Mountain Adventure Lodge, 657 Modoc Drive, Big Bear Lake. Visit


Transgender Day of Remembrance: A gathering to mourn those lost to acts of hatred and celebrate who they were while they were with us. 5–7 p.m. Oceanside City Hall, 330 North Coast Highway. Visit


Pride Youth Leadership Academy: A one-day workshop for LGBTQ+ youth with outdoor activities, bonding exercises and education discussion. 8:30 a.m.–5:15 p.m. San Diego Pride Office, 3620 30th St., North Park. Visit youth and Sixth annual Dessert with the Chorus: A chance to enjoy an elegant dessert buffet, coffee bar, after-dinner drinks and live entertainment with the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus. $25. Proceeds benefit the musical mission of the chorus. 7:30–10:30 p.m., a historic home, 2961 First Ave., Bankers Hill. Visit


San Diego Pride Town Hall Forum: An event organized by to give community members a voice in the future of San Diego Pride. 2–3 p.m. Joyce Beers Community Center, 3900 Vermont St., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2ejsuVo. 41st annual Nicky Awards: These yearly awards honor outstanding achievements in the LGBT community in a variety of categories. Event includes special performances and guests. This year’s co-hosts will be The Center’s Benny Cartwright and Mia Pearl from “America’s Got Talent.” $65+. 6–9:30 p.m. Handlery Hotel, 950 Hotel Circle North, Mission Valley. Visit


‘Sex in Our City – Ladies Night Out’: Join Alvarado Hospital for the popular “Sex in Our City” event with renowned Dr. Irwin Goldstein. The evening includes dinner, discussion and decadent desserts. Dr. Goldstein and a panel of experts will discuss sexual health in adult women of all ages, pre- and post-menopause solutions, low libido, HRT and how to spice things up in the bedroom. The dinner is free, but seating is very limited. Preregistration is required. 6–8:30 p.m. 6645 Alvarado Road, College East. Call 800-258-2723 or visit ‘Open Mondays: Do Ask, Do


Trashy Daddy Disco: Happy hour all night long plus throwback disco music and videos. 6 p.m.–close. Urban MO’s 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit



2016 San Diego Run for the Hungry: Start of the holiday by doing some good for our neighbors! This annual race features a 5K and 10K through the Gaslamp Quarter. The 10K starts at 7 a.m. and the 5K takes off at 8:15 a.m. Both start at the Horton Plaza Mall in the Broadway Circle turnaround. Registration starts at 6 a.m. Proceeds benefit Jewish Family Service of San Diego and The Jacobs & Cushman San Diego Food Bank. Visit

Tell: LGBTQ in the Military’: The next installment of Lambda Archives’ “Open Mondays” series will take a look at how the armed services have treated LGBTQ members before, during and after “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Free. 7–9 p.m. Diversionary Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd., University Heights. Visit bit. ly/2ejqyw3.


Bonnie Kilroe in ‘Country Queens’: Celebrity impersonator Bonnie Kilroe will perform as country music stars including Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Reba McEntire and many more. Doors 6 p.m., show 8 p.m. $20–$25 with $15 food/drink minimum. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Tickets visit


‘That’s Racist!: A Conversation About The Presidential Election’: A closed space for QTPOC to process and heal from the presidential election and all the racist events that have occurred during the race. Attendees will also be making DIY kinetic sand as a way of practicing self-care. UCSD LGBT Resource Center, 9500 Gilman Drive, #0023, La Jolla. Visit SD NOW End-of-Year Social: The San Diego Area Chapter of NOW (National Organization for Women) will host this social with refreshments and dessert. 6:30–8 p.m. Women’s Museum of California, 2730 Historic Decatur Road, Barracks 16, Liberty Station. Visit

FilmOut Screening: “But I’m A Cheerleader” — the 1999 comedy cult classic about a popular cheerleader sent to True Directions, a camp meant to alter her sexual orientation. $10. 7 p.m., Landmark Hillcrest Cinemas, 3965 Fifth Ave. #200, Hillcrest. Visit


San Diego Transgender Day of Remembrance: A vigil march to remember those lost to anti-transgender hate and violence. 6 p.m. with program to follow. San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2eSHndw.


Top of the Bay: SDPIX presents this edition of the weekly rooftop LGBT happy hour and Tdance featuring cocktail specials, shuttle service to and from Rich’s San Diego and more. Attendees receive a hand stamp for free entry to Rich’s from 10 p.m.–midnight. 6 p.m. Fifth floor of the Porto Vista Hotel, 1835 Columbia St., Little Italy. Visit TopoftheBaySanDiego on Facebook. Free family movie night: The Center will host a screening of the animated DreamWorks film “Kung Fu Panda 3.” These free family movie nights are held on the third Friday of each month. Attendees are encouraged to bring sleeping bags, blankets and pillows and dress in pajamas. 6:30– 8:30 p.m. San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit FamiliesAtTheCenter.


Walking tour of Hillcrest LGBTQ History: Do you know where San Diego’s early gay bars were? Have you read the hate-crimes plaque? Have you looked at the base of the flagpole? Have you peeked into the secret garden? This tour by Lambda Archives of San Diego will showcase these places and more. $20 for members and $25 for nonmembers. 9:30–11:30 a.m. Meet at University and Third avenues. Visit and San Diego Women’s Chorus presents ‘Everything She Touches’: The first of two performances of the SDWC’s fall concert. The chorus will perform favorites by Joni Mitchell, Stevie Nicks, The Beatles and more. 7 p.m. (additional performance on Sunday, Nov. 20 at 4 p.m.) $25 online and $30 at the door. Creative Performing and Media Arts School, 5050 Conrad Ave., Clairemont Mesa. Visit bit. ly/2eSL7Mh. Girls Night Out: Hosted by Out Is In clothing, this monthly all-women dance takes place at the newly renovated Rail nightclub on the third Saturday of the month (except December). This month, attendees are asked to wear their favorite sexy PJs or favorite jersey. $10. 7–10 p.m. The Rail, 3796 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest.Visit on.fb. me/1OSmbnT. Overdrive: Monthly afterhours dance event, no cover before 11 p.m. $5 Svedka vodka happy hour from 10 p.m.–midnight, featuring Brett Henrichsen


Bitchy Bingo: Hosted by Kiki and Ophelia every Wednesday. Play bingo for goodies and prizes and enjoy an outrageous drag show. No cover. $5 frozen cosmos. 7–10 p.m. Lips, 3036 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit

Too busy to cook? Visit to make Thanksgiving Day lunch or dinner reservations at locations around San Diego County. Some of our favorite participating restaurants are listed below: ●94th Aero Squadron (Clairemont) Boathouse Restaurant (Harbor Island) Claim Jumper (Downtown) Grant Grill (Downtown) Humphrey’s Restaurant (Shelter Island) Indigo Grill (Little Italy) Marina Kitchen Restaurant (Embarcadero South) Marie Callender’s (La Mesa) Mister A’s (Bankers Hill) The Prado (Balboa Park) Terra American Bistro (La Mesa) Tom Ham’s Lighthouse (Harbor Island) —Compiled by Jen Van Tieghem. Email calendar items to or jen@


solution on page 16




1 Olivier of “Marathon Man” 9 Pose for a Mapplethorpe photo, e.g. 16 Variety store 17 Prop for “I have a headache, honey ...” 18 Start of a comment on representing CoverGirl as a gay male, per James Charles 20 Canadian oil company 21 State, to Renee Vivien 22 Word on either bride’s towel 25 Musical based on a John Waters’ film 30 “A Chorus Line” song 31 Muslim faith 34 Troy Perry and others 35 Dastardly deeds 37 Dakar’s nation 40 More of the comment 42 Removes (oneself ) 43 Cause of shrinkage for skinny-dippers 45 Guilty or not guilty, to Perry Mason 46 Drags along 47 Early man’s opening 48 AIDS awareness symbol

‘Melanjolly 2: A Tim Burton Fan Art Show’: This show by Thumbprint Gallery is free and open to the public. Thumbprint curates monthly exhibitions featuring emerging, mid-career and established artists. 7 p.m.–midnight. Basic Urban Kitchen + Bar, 410 10th Ave., Downtown. Visit facebook. com/ThumbprintGallery.

52 Pt. of DOS 53 Shakespeare’s “anon” updated 54 “Casablanca” role for Ingrid 57 End of the comment 65 Kane, for Orson Welles 66 Pious ejaculation 67 Advocate 68 Filling a crack

1 Non-Judy garland 2 Six in., e.g. 3 AP rival 4 Pink shades 5 Sea eagles 6 Crabs residue 7 Stephen King’s killer canine 8 Meat source Down Under 9 Evita portrayer on stage 10 Dorian Gray creator Wilde 11 Dice markings 12 Curry of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” 13 Psychic Geller 14 ___ Tin Tin 15 E. John’s tongue 19 Line of clothing 22 The, to Socrates 23 Lend dignity to 24 Passed up 25 Diced meat 26 Pink Triangle ___ 27 Luxury hotel of San Francisco 28 Internet images 29 Big initials in fashion 31 “It’s showtime!” 32 Direction for Rick Rodgers

33 Mauresmo’s do-overs 36 Dangerous emission for Tin Man 37 James VI, e.g. 38 Gallic “she” 39 Moves the head 41 Subj. for John Nash 42 Mo. after March 44 Honey holder 46 Collette of “The Hours” 49 Mazda competitor 50 Makes holes 51 It was good for Stein in Paris 52 “Sorry to say ...” 54 Queer spelling of an Alaskan dome 55 Gay tune 56 Leave in the text 57 Rudy Galindo’s milieu 58 They come between la’s do’s 59 Gas additive 60 Science course, for short 61 Break for Heather’s mommies 62 Aye, in Versailles 63 Come out on top 64 Will to Grace, or Grace to Will



Oct. 28, Turing spoke again at the auditorium at the Scripps Research Institute in La Jolla. Dermot is a baronet, a title he inherited, but the honor has nothing to do with his Uncle Alan. Dermot never met his uncle; he was born seven years after Alan Turing’s death. Though Dermot recommended “The Imitation Game” as a good movie, he made it clear to the audiences that it was not a documentary and took a great deal of literary license with the story. During the Q&A in Hillcrest, there was little talk about Alan’s sexuality, perhaps because many in the audience already knew that part of his story. During Dermot’s presentation in La Jolla, however, he gave a complete overview of his uncle’s life, which meant covering the gay aspects in more detail. Dermot said that although the scenes of the bullying Alan endured in school were fictitious — he was not unpopular as a student — the part about his special relationship with his childhood friend Christopher Morcom was true. Alan was devastated when Christopher died and he treasured the things Christopher’s mother allowed him to keep that had belonged to his friend. Alan and Mrs. Morcom maintained a lively correspondence throughout the rest of their lives. Although Christopher clearly valued his friendship with Alan, none of his biographers have found any evidence that Christopher was gay, so it is hard to speculate how that relationship would have played out had young Morcom lived. Alan did not name his computation machine after Christopher, as was depicted in the film, but Joan Clark, the character played by Keira Knightley in the movie, was based on a real person. “She was briefly engaged to Alan Turing until they had a somewhat awkward conversation about his sexuality,” Dermot Turing said. She did not, however slap him as happens in the movie. “She was not recruited because of crossword puzzles,” Dermot added. “She was recruited because she was a very, very bright math student at Cambridge University.” In an attempt to get her into a position at Bletchley Park, Dermot said, “Her application was a bit odd: ‘Post applied for: translator. Language skills: none.’” Dermot wondered aloud if his uncle’s suicide may have come from what Dermot called “boyfriend trouble” rather than the hormonal therapy, which had ended a year previous to his death. Alan was prosecuted for gross indecency under the laws that criminalized homosexuality and had been given the hormonal therapy — also known as chemical castration — as a result. Dermot said that Alan had never been known to be depressed in his life. But he said — with typical British understatement — that the treatments, which lasted over a year and were given via an implant, “Were likely to screw you up.” As part of Alan’s sentencing to avoid prison he not only had

to endure the chemicals, but also pursue psychological treatment. “He had a good and strong relationship with his therapist,” Dermot said. Although the notes from these sessions didn’t survive, according to Alan’s own writings and according to Dermot, the sessions did not appear to be what would now be called conversion therapy. Alan did not seem suicidal during the trial and estrogen treatments. “If you want to have a good comedy and you’re bored in the library one day, give them a read as to what the medics and psychologists wrote about homosexuality, what kind of a disease it was and if it could be cured,” Dermot said. “It is mind-blowing. Seriously mind-blowing. It is written by people from another planet.” In an attempt to shield his mother from the suicide, Alan’s brother John, (Dermot’s father), tried to make the death look like an accident. While is true that Alan had lost his job and security clearance due to his indecency conviction, Dermot said that mattered little to him because he had already moved on to other topics of scientific inquiry, specifically the mathematical patterns found in animals and plants, including sunflowers and daisies. Some of the documents Dermot showed during his PowerPoint presentation were amusing, including a drawing made by Alan Turing’s mother when he was about 10 years old. Labeled, “Hockey/watching the Daisies grow,” the image depicts Alan — holding his hockey stick but bent over studying a flower — while a field hockey game goes on the background. Perhaps an early sign of his lack of interest in sports and later interest in the mathematics of biology. Daisies and sunflowers were to be among his last areas of study. After World War II, Alan was recruited as part of a team charged with making another computer, but he soon grew bored with the slow pace of the project. The team, headed up by Sir Charles Darwin (grandson of the famous one) plodded along and according to Dermot, “the problem with government projects is that they tend to proceed at the pace of the slowest bureaucrat in the convoy.” The machine called the “automatic computing engine” was started in 1945 was finally completed in 1959, five years after Alan’s death. “Alan Turing wasn’t particularly good at computer design,” Dermot said, adding that his uncle was more on the conceptual, math side of the development. Dermot is very happy that the movie is getting the story of his uncle out to a larger audience and said that he hopes the deserved pardon that Alan received from the Queen on the indecency charge will also be granted to the other 49,000 men who were charged under the same law in the U.K. The proposal is currently up for review. —Walter G. Meyer is a local freelance writer and the author of the award-winning gay novel, “Rounding Third.” He can be reached at walt.meyer28@gmail. com.t

GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016




GAY SAN DIEGO Nov. 11-24, 2016

The road to parenting

Moxie play focuses on fears of same-sex couples By David Dixon The Moxie Theatre is not afraid to produce shows that are unfamiliar to most San Diegans. While many won’t know the specific plays in advance, the storylines often deal with topical subject matter. Case in point: local director Kym Pappas’ upcoming staging of the 2011 drama, “The Kid Thing,” which discusses samesex parenting. This year has been a particularly busy year for Pappas. She is co-artistic director and a board member of InnerMission Productions at the Diversionary Black Box. In addition, the storyteller was asked by members of Moxie to direct the relevant “Kid Thing” tale. Since she had some time in her schedule, Pappas enthusiastically agreed to mount the Moxie Theatre interpretation. In some ways, she said, being in charge of a narrative at Moxie is not quite as difficult as her work for InnerMission. “I don’t have to worry about budget or how things are going to get accomplished,” she said. “I just get to show up and be a director.” Every scene in “The Kid Thing” takes place in 2009, and the fictional events were written before same-sex marriage was

legally recognized in Illinois. What gives the play a fascinating perspective is that the main characters haven’t even begun raising children themselves. Openly queer writer, Sarah Gubbins, takes a look at a Chicago lesbian couple, Darcy (to be played by Moxie’s development director, Jo Anne Glover) and Leigh (Sarah Parpicus), who are very different from each other. Darcy is butch with a conservative personality; on the other hand, Leigh is

girlish and motherly. The couple has dinner with another twosome, Nate (Katherine Harroff) and Margot (Anna Rebek). Nate and Margot’s evening becomes eventful when they tell their friends that Margot is pregnant. Leigh is overjoyed by the news, but Darcy is less enthusiastic. This causes them to think about topics like raising children, money and commitment. Pappas feels the plot will connect with audience members since

10.25 in.

Director Kym Pappas will stage “The Kid Thing” for Moxie Theatre. (Photo by Adriana Zuniga-Williams) the characters have “universal fears” about being parents. The four women ask themselves the difficult questions about kids that most people face, regardless of sexuality. “I thought it was awesome,” Glover said. “Her writing is super smart. I will certainly explore as much of her work as possible.” Although Gubbins has never had a show presented in San Diego before, her pilot to the (nonporn) online television series, “I Love Dick,” can be streamed on Amazon Prime. Directed by “Transparent” creator Jill Soloway, “I Love Dick” follows a married filmmaker, Chris (Kathryn Hahn), who becomes attracted to the charismatic professor, Dick (Kevin Bacon).

Jo Anne Glover, who serves as director of development for Moxie, is also starring in the play. (Courtesy Ash & Arrow Photography)

In previous interviews, Gubbins said she came up with the idea of “The Kid Thing,” because parenting is brought up with all women in their mid-30s. That might seem like timeless material, yet the subject was a particularly difficult topic for lesbian couples in the Windy City. While numerous situations are relatable, the chums are far from perfect. Darcy, in particular, comes across as arrogant and selfimportant. “I loved the script, but I hated Darcy,” Glover said. “I am having a great time playing her. Part of your work as an actor is to understand the role as a human being, which has been a really cool journey for me.” On a personal level, Pappas said she finds herself empathizing with each couple. “I’m bisexual and am deeply in love with another woman,” she said. “I want to be a mom and I understand where everyone’s fears live.” By tackling complicated subject matter and realistic situations, “The Kid Thing” should inspire theatergoers to discuss the narrative in depth. You don’t need to be a parent or even want children to appreciate the messages of Gubbins’ theatrical piece. “The Kid Thing” will be performed at Moxie Theatre Nov. 13 through Dec. 11. For tickets or more information, visit or call 858-598-7620. —David Dixon is a freelance film and theater writer. He can be reached at daviddixon0202@


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