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Volume 7 Issue 22 Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016

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Halloween fun — Page 18


Honoring those who served

Attention to detail

Ceremony to pay posthumous homage to Allen Schindler Morgan M. Hurley | Editor

Nyad marches into town

4 COMMUNITY Jerry Capozzelli, shown overlooking Downtown and the San Diego Bay from Mister A’s magnificent balcony, has been overseeing the comings and goings at the iconic restaurant for over 30 years. (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

Table tips and revelations from Mister A’s longtime maitre’d

A focus on LGBT seniors

By Frank Sabatini Jr.



Fine-dining etiquette allows you to eat lamb chops and bonein chicken pieces with your hands. But grabbing a wine glass by the globe instead of its stem is gauche, with or without messy fingers.

see Maitre'd, pg 9

see LGBT Veterans, pg 4

Ace in the hole

Neon Trees frontman: so gay

he decided to locate an Ace franchise in the heart of San Diego’s LGBT community. Reeves told the now defunct Gay & Lesbian Times, in an article published on April 6, Ken Williams | Contributing Editor 1995, that he conveyed to Ace officials about his intention to For the past 20 years, operate the “first openly gay Hillcrest Ace Hardware has Ace subsidiary� out of 5,000 been serving the Uptown and stores worldwide. Mid-City communities with a “They were very favorable to unique blend of goods ranging the whole concept,� Reeves told from traditional hardware GLT at the time. products to niche merchandise Flash forward to 2016 and targeting the LGBT community. Ace Hillcrest has expanded to More than a month ago, a larger site, located at 1003 Hillcrest Ace completed its University Ave., which is in a move into a remodeled space prime location opposite The next door to its original site. Hub shopping center. “I’ve been wanting that space Compared to other Ace for 20 years,� said the store’s Hardware stores, Hillcrest Ace owner, Bruce Reeves, who lays really is a unique place. While claim to holding the Ace chain’s “unique� is one of those often first gay-owned franchise. misused and overused adjectives, Back in 1995, Reeves got Reeves can make a good case that a lot of media attention when his store is truly one of a kind.

Hillcrest staple is ‘Coolest Hardware Store on the Planet’


Hit up Slater’s for Turkey Day

Index Opinion




Dining Review


ClassiďŹ eds




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Jerry Capozzelli knows every rule in the book when it comes to dining manners. As a longtime maitre’d at Mister A’s, he is also a master at pampering customers from the moment they set foot into the 12th-floor penthouse restaurant, regardless if they can’t figure out

whether to reach to the left or the right for their bread plates once they’re seated. “It’s always placed at the left, which is especially helpful to know when you’re sitting at a big round table,� he said. “But this isn’t to suggest that we judge guests if they get it wrong. It happens all the time. My job is to ensure that everyone leaves happy.�

While this year marked the fifth anniversary of the repeal of the U.S. military’s discriminatory “don’t ask, don’t tell� policy — which changed the lives of tens of thousands of actively serving gays and lesbians on Sept. 20, 2011 — it will also be the fifth time the San Diego LGBT Community Center has honored LGBT veterans who served in silence prior to repeal. The 2016 Benjamin F. Dillingham, III & Bridget Wilson LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor induction ceremony will take place on Thursday, Nov. 10, starting at 6 p.m. at The Center, located at 3909 Centre St. in Hillcrest. Always occurring on the Thursday prior to the Veterans Day national holiday, the ceremony seeks to

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Hillcrest Ace Hardware owner Bruce Reeves stands with his “trophy wall,� which includes several Nicky Awards. (Photo by Ken Williams) “We’re one of the unique Ace Hardware stores because we have three floors,� Reeves said. Besides being distinguished as the first gay-owned franchise in Ace’s history, Hillcrest Ace was also recently named the

“Coolest Hardware Store on the Planet� by the Hardware Stores of America (HSA). Reeves shows off his “trophy wall� — located in the hallway

see Hardware, pg 2



GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


HARDWARE outside his office on the mezzanine level — with pride. It is here that he displays his seven local Nicky Awards and his newest prize from HSA. “It took us six months to move, but we never closed for one day,” Reeves said, adding that he is happy the move is over. “I’ve been wanting this space for 20 years!” The much larger corner location was vacant for more than two years after Natvia Furniture closed in 2013. The distinctive building with its Mediterranean façade and Spanish tile roof also formerly housed Metropolis (another furniture store), and a carpet company before that. “Fifteen thousand square feet is considered a large store,” Reeves said, noting that the old location was 10,000 square feet. Reeves gives credit to Zane Feldman — of the building’s owner, the Feldman Family Trust — for helping him make upgrades to the building that has been at that intersection for more than a century. Original wood floors and chandeliers on the main floor were restored. Electrical wiring and plumbing were modernized. New lighting fi xtures, coupled with natural lighting from huge windows along University and 10th avenues, make the main floor and the mezzanine look bright and airy.

The basement, while currently open, is a work in progress and will continue to expand, Reeves said. (Photo by Ken Williams) “We were true to the original design,” Reeves said of the remodeling job. He also thanks Joe Jeter, his former co-founder — who he bought out 15 years ago — for coming back to help with the remodeling project. Customers entering the new store are greeted by an employee who can then direct them to the products they may be shopping for. The main floor is spacious and open for two stories, featuring a mezzanine forming a U-shape that can be accessed via two grand staircases at the back of the store. The expansive basement, however, remains a work in

progress. Reeves said while currently open, that project would take a couple of months to finish before lighter colors are painted and brighter lighting fixtures are installed. The basement — which encompasses all the area below the new store as well as the space under the old one — is where customers can find the more traditional hardware items, such as nuts and bolts, and bathroom and kitchen supplies. Reeves said Ace allows its franchises to cater to their local markets. That flexibility allows Reeves and his staff to reach out

to the LGBT community by offering products for that niche market. Although he doesn’t have specific demographic information about his customers, Reeves estimated that 30 to 50 percent of his customers would identify as LGBT. “Ace allows us to design our stores as we see fit,” he added. “They encourage us to have our unique niches.” For Hillcrest Ace, those niches include same-sex greeting cards and stationery, gourmet cookware, health and beauty products, home décor, LGBTspecific items, and even “gay pride” socks.

In recent years, the closure of Hillcrest boutique stores such as Babette Schwartz, Cathedral, Column One, Obelisk and Establish has left plenty of holes to fill for shoppers, and Reeves said Hillcrest Ace has added products in an attempt to fill those needs. “We have expanded our line of gifts and quirky things and home decor,” he said. Moving into the larger space also meant the need to expand the staff. Brooks Edwards, the assistant manager, said they added five or six new employees. He said with the Christmas merchandise going up in two weeks, the store would be hiring again and encouraged anyone “who is good at retail” to apply for a job. Reeves noted that this was the third time he has expanded the store’s space in 20 years. He has watched Hillcrest grow over the past two decades, and has reshaped his store to reflect those changes. Edwards, who has been with Hillcrest Ace for five years, said the biggest change during his watch has been the growth of the “B2B” (Business to Business) program. “Since I’ve been here, we’ve been working more with local businesses, like Whole Foods, Rich’s and Flicks,” Edwards said. The nearby businesses work with Ace Hillcrest to purchase cleaning and maintenance supplies or building materials needed for in-house construction projects, he added. Ahead of the annual San Diego Pride festivities in July, Rich’s and Flicks and other local organizations also called on Hillcrest Ace to round up supplies to build floats and decorate them. Reeves promises customers that Hillcrest Ace Hardware will always be there for them; and to emphasize that point, he said he has signed a long-term lease with the Feldman Family Trust. “We hope,” he said, “to be here in Hillcrest another 20 years!” —Ken Williams is a contributing editor of Gay San Diego and can be reached at or at 619-9611952. Follow him on Twitter at @KenSanDiego or on Instagram at @KenSD.▼

Assistant Manager Brooks Edwards stands next to a display on the main floor. (Photo by Ken Williams)


Walking for life Diana Nyad to march into San Diego as she launches new initiative Morgan M. Hurley | Editor Diana Nyad is one of our LGBT heroes. Her accomplishments as a marathon swimmer and 30-year sports journalist notwithstanding, President Obama credits her with helping the U.S. ease into a renewed relationship with Cuba. He is referring to Sept. 2, 2013, when Nyad became the first person to swim the 110.86 miles between Cuba and the United States without a shark cage protecting her. The swim was Nyad’s 35-year dream and she put together an “extreme dream team,” led by crew chief Bonnie Stoll, to help her make it happen. Today, Nyad is in the midst of another feat; she’s en route to San Diego — on foot. On Oct. 23, Nyad and Stoll launched “EverWalk” — a nationwide initiative to get people out and walking — and they are currently on the second-tolast leg of a 145-mile walk from Los Angeles to San Diego to raise awareness.

“You know the Cuba swim was such a saga; it was a deeply personal quest, it was a matter of living life large and chasing perhaps, an impossible dream and it achieved all that for me,” Nyad told Gay San Diego. “It wasn’t a matter of the record, the record book, it was a matter of living to the ’nth degree. Having to be everything you are, touch every drop of potential and courage … and it was all that. And when I got done, there is no other swim. I cannot hold up the globe and try to look for a swim that would mean that much to my soul as Cuba did.” Nyad wrote “Find a Way: The Inspiring Story of One Woman’s Pursuit of a Lifelong Dream,” immediately after her historic swim, and though marathon swimming was the fabric of her career, it was now in her rear-view mirror. So what do you do after achieving your personal best at the age of 64?

Bonnie Stoll and Diana Nyad (center) at the start of the EverWalk launch in Los Angeles on Oct. 23. (Photo by Justin Kosman)


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Diana Nyad at the launch of EverWalk. She arrives in San Diego today for the last two legs of a 145-mile walk from Los Angeles. (Photo by Justin Kosman) Well, three years later, en Nyad noted how many others route to America’s Finest are “on our side,” including the City on foot, Nyad spoke Fitbit “steps” movement and about her own “vitality” and Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” described herself as still very program, and she said she much “on fire.” wants to turn all these “small She said she and Stoll waves” of movement into a “tsudecided to launch something nami” of walkers. She plans to new that centered on fitness, do so with what she calls a “twomoving the body and overall pronged vision.” wellbeing, so they found a “One is these [prongs] are actual way (pun intended) to share walks like we are on now — this that with the public. is our launch, you know it is “We started reading about small and this is our first walk ‘sitting is the new smoking’ and and we’re a startup for sure — how 71 percent of American but we will do other long walks,” people now are overweight,” she she said. “We’ve looked at the said. “We’d rather do something map and we’d love to walk from with swimming, but you can’t Philadelphia to D.C., Chicago to get the masses swimming and St. Louis, Boston to New York, you can get the masses walking.” Nashville to Atlanta, Portland,

GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


Oregon to Seattle. We’d love to do all those walks and we will.” Nyad’s first long-term goal is to get a million people to walk across the country in 2020, but for now, she just wants a million people to visit the EverWalk website (everwalk. com) within the next year and pledge that they will walk three times per week. It is free and there is no distance or minimum step requirement. More than 500 people had already pledged as of press time. Facebook signed on as a partner and Nyad said all four of their campuses had employees walking, sharing photos, participating in competitions and raising visibility for the launch this week. “Boy you don’t get a better partner,” she said. “We are talking about building community — and you don’t get a bigger partner than Facebook in terms of building community.” One of Nyad’s dreams for EverWalk involves a global network of virtual reality-connected walkers, based on Mark Zuckerberg’s Oculus VR technology. She envisions people in the U.S. “walking” with friends in other places around the world, but for now her focus is simple. “Some people are just barely getting up anymore, so we don’t care if you walk the dog,” Nyad said. “Everybody knows what their level is. Some people are bad asses and they are going to go out and walk 20 miles. Some people have not gotten up and walked down to the store to get the newspaper for a long time. “Just pledge to walk three days per week and get on the

see Diana Nyad, pg 5


GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


Keeping the torch lit for LGBT seniors Profiles in Advocacy Ian Morton It is turning out to be quite a year for community advocate, William “Bill” Kelly, both in impact and recognition. Kelly will be inducted at the upcoming Benjamin F. Dillingham and Bridget Wilson LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor ceremony; he’ll soon be featured in a KPBS documentary about San Diego seniors; and he has been chosen to receive the Richard Geyser Community Leadership Award at the 2017 Aston Brooks Awards Gala. More importantly, Kelly is seeing some of his efforts in the area of LGBT senior services and housing come to fruition. It is a culmination of this advocacy work that informs the core of our conversation. In Kelly’s own life, he and his husband Bob have experienced the pain of being in the closet while trying to participate in a fully actualized life. Seven months into their now nearly 38-year relationship, on a day they had planned to meet for dinner to discuss the rest of their lives together, Bob was offered a job in Italy. The opportu-

It is this very painful process of having to “re-enter the closet” that many LGBT seniors experience when they need to access resources specifically designed for them. When general senior service providers are not LGBTaffirming, many seniors must sacrifice the freedom to live honestly, in the name of survival. However, in the world that Kelly envisions, an individual will be able to live all the years of their life out and proud. He sees one of his roles in this effort as being “the fuel for the torch.” His philosophy is that we accomplish most when new blood is encouraged to participate in the process of advocacy, with those who have the experience, possessing the grace to engage, advise and be willing to pass that torch forward. Kelly’s journey into his advocacy work in San Diego began, as many of our journeys do, at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. He recognized the needs of — and the lack of effort that was being leveraged toward — the aging population. To this end, Kelly chose to use his 60th birthday as a fundraising kick-off, to open a fund at San Diego Human Dignity Foundation with the purpose of serving the senior population.

Kelly waves goodbye to Taylor, who took a job in Italy early in their relationship, at a time when accompanying him was not an option. (Courtesy B. Kelly) nity was not to be passed up and while they chose to make it work — fueled by love, commitment and letters — not being afforded the same set of circumstances as a heterosexual, committed couple definitely stung.


LGBT VETERANS “recognize LGBT veterans with ties to San Diego who have taken the oath to serve our country and have done so honorably, and with distinction, while acting as role models in advancing equality.” The 2016 inductees include: Joanna Gasca (USAF); Dennis Howard (USN); Arthur J. Kelleher (USN); William Kelly (USAF); Scott Lawry (USN); Edwin O. Lohr (USAF); Sean Redmond (USAF); Sean Sala (USN); Jeff Underwood (USN); Craig Wilgenbusch (USN); Veronica Zerrer (USA);. A special posthumous induction will be given to Radioman (RMSN) Allen R. Schindler Jr., who was murdered Oct. 27, 1992, because he was gay. The wall is believed to be the first and only one of its kind in the nation and many past honorees have been moved to tears while being recognized, not only for their service, but also as an LGBT veteran, something foreign

The penthouse soiree garnered nearly $12,000, which was earmarked for LGBTQ seniors, but then raised the question; “How do we best use these funds?” Then, representatives from The Center, a network of

to them especially in the years prior to “don’t ask, don’t tell.” The evening’s program will include a ceremony of colors; performances by members of the San Diego Women’s Chorus and the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus; a special presentation about RMSN Schindler; dignitaries; the induction of the 11 honorees with a few words from each; and a reception afterward with food and refreshments and a tribute to the Marine Corps Birthday. Inductees are nominated by local community members, their friends or by family members and each must meet a set of criteria. They are then vetted by the LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor Advisory Council, a group of local LGBT veterans and spouses who oversee the nomination process and ceremony each year, under the direction of The Center’s director of outreach, Benny Cartwright. This year’s council is co-chaired by Navy veterans Morgan M. Hurley and Jim Cassidy, and includes Marine Corps veteran Evelyn Thomas, her wife Lisa Sanders, Marine Corps veteran

providers, advocates and other concerned citizens began meeting to start making these determinations. This ad-hoc committee identified many challenges and barriers to sensitive and accessible care, but at the crux of the problem was the issue of stable housing. It was often an uphill battle, but in the face of other priorities in the queue for the LGBT community and greatly curtailed by the recession, Kelly credits much of his will to persevere to the encouragement of Dr. Delores Jacobs, the executive director of The Center. “Bill Kelly has been a committed, strategic and thoughtful advocate for all seniors, particularly LGBT seniors, for almost a decade,” Jacobs said. “His relentless energy and passion are infectious! He is dedicated to connecting people to resources — and those resources to each other — to form a network that can better serve seniors in powerful ways.” Despite the lean financial times, this partnership did continue and eventually produced an LGBT senior needs assessment, which told the story of conditions that many of these individuals faced. With this document, there was finally data to demonstrate the needs. Kelly has had the opportunity to work with many concerned citizens and leaders, and considers Sue Reynolds of Community HousingWorks (CHW) one of his most valuable allies. In CHW’s commitment to provide stable housing, Kelly found a partnering agency that understood the urgency of the need. “Bill is indomitable in his passion and his persistence in making sure the voices of seniors and LGBT seniors are heard and acted upon,” Reynolds said of Kelly’s commitment. As Kelly’s work became more broadly recognized throughout the community, he

Bob Lehman, Army veteran Luke Terpstra, Air Force veteran Camile Davidson, Navy veteran Jackie Jackson and Marine Corps spouse Dr. Lori Hensic. Everyone in the community is invited to participate in this event, which honors all of our LGBT veterans. Attendance is free. For more information, visit

RMSN Allen R. Schindler Jr.

Seaman Schindler was assaulted in a public restroom in an off-base park in Sasebo, Japan on Oct. 27, 1992 and died from his injuries. He and his assailants were stationed on the USS Belleau Wood (LHA-3), an amphibious assault ship stationed there. The Belleau Wood had been stationed in San Diego since fi rst being commissioned in 1978, and had just left in August 1992 to change homeport to Sasebo. Gay San Diego did extensive research into Schindler’s death, which involved reading dozens of heavily redacted military documents.

Bill Kelly and Bob Taylor have been together nearly 38 years. (Courtesy B. Kelly) was called upon for his passion and expertise. Among many of the positions he’s held was a seat at the San Diego Seniors Affairs Advisory Board — a nomination by Todd Gloria — of which he eventually became chair. “I have always admired Bill’s dedication to advancing opportunities for our aging seniors,” explained Gloria. “Over the years, I have seen firsthand his advocacy for the creation of accessible and affordable senior housing come to fruition and I am grateful for his activism on these critical issues. “The idea that every single individual should have the right to age with dignity is at the core of his activism and is what makes him an extraordinary leader in the LGBT community,” Gloria said. This past summer, Kelly saw part of his vision begin to come to life. CHW broke ground in North Park on San Diego’s first LGBT-affirming senior community, a project that Kelly is quite proud of.

“The 76 LGBT-affi rming housing units that are being created is a powerful fi rst step,” Kelly said. “This needs to be a template upon which we build, and I believe we will. If I look back to when I was younger, I could never have predicted the strides we’ve seen. You didn’t dare dream it, let alone believe it.” To find out more about the work being done for seniors, check out the Facebook group “Caring for our LGBT Seniors in San Diego,” which is administrated by Kelly. Please note that the LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor induction will take place at The Center on Thursday, Nov. 10 at 6 p.m.

Records show that prior to the assault, Schindler had told his superiors that he was gay and had experienced months of harassment. At the time of his death, the 22-year-old was preparing to process out of the military for being gay. The primary assailant, Airman Apprentice Terry M. Helvey, is serving a life sentence after pleading guilty to avoid the death penalty. An accomplice, Airman Charles Vins, was given a light sentence in exchange for working with investigators and testifying against Helvey. Schindler’s injuries were so bad, according to the documents, a medical examiner likened them to injuries in a high-speed automobile wreck. Another report stated that he was “so badly disfigured” he could only be identified through tattoos on his arms. The documents also showed that the Navy initially downplayed the murder, only moving forward with an investigation after friends of Schindler’s wrote to Stars & Stripes newspaper. Schindler was killed during the final weeks in the run up

to the 1992 election, a time when presidential candidate Bill Clinton promised to seek an end to the ban on gays and lesbians serving in the U.S. military. Schindler’s death incited LGBT advocates, who demanded action. Clinton made repealing the ban his first order of business once he took office, but after a year of dissent from military leaders and with no support from the Department of Defense or Congress on efforts to end the ban, he settled on the defense directive nicknamed “don’t ask, don’t tell,” which he thought was a valid compromise. The policy, which was implemented with much confusion among the ranks, caused a spike in discharges for a number of years before they leveled off. The policy remained for 17 years. Due to his connections to San Diego and the horrific manner of his death, the LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor advisory council is honoring Schindler with an induction this year.

—Ian D. Morton is the senior program analyst at San Diego Human Dignity Foundation and produces the Y.E.S. San Diego LGBTQ youth conference. To nominate an individual or nonprofit for this column, please email the information to▼

—Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at ▼


Why I’m an optimist Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel You might think with so much ugliness, cruelty and fear in the world, that optimism would be foolish or naïve. Nope. The ugliness has always been there, but now, it’s all out there for everyone to see it. These days, the ugliness is coming out of the closet. I grew up in small-town Ohio and most of my relatives are voting for Trump. People make fun of Trump supporters, but Trump supporters deserve to be heard too. Folks back in my hometown are scared: Their factory jobs are disappearing, they are afraid us queer folks are making fun of their marriages (which don’t do well when jobs are scarce) and the mostly-white community I grew up in is afraid that people of color are doing better than they are. I am not here to discuss politics or economics, but I believe that all people — whatever their point-of-view — deserve to be respected and their fears need to be heard and addressed. I read exhaustively from a variety of points-of-view. I hear people bemoan the increase in child abuse, domestic violence, racial discrimination, date rape and a whole lot of other really bad stuff. But, in

my experience, this stuff has always been there. Now, it’s just being brought out of the closet to be heard, seen and addressed. I was born in 1953 and for many of my early years, child abuse, racism, domestic violence and homophobia weren’t talked about. I remember witnessing and experiencing plenty of examples of these “evils” and being told to “Mind your own business” and “Nice people don’t talk about things like that.” I am very pleased to be living in 2016 where these things are talked about so we can’t ignore them anymore. I never thought I’d live to see legal same-sex marriage, an African-American president or even a woman president (I hope). I am pleasantly surprised to be wrong. Only when we tell the truth about what’s happening can we begin a change process. For many of us, the change process is happening too slowly. I count myself in that camp, yet, I see that change is happening. I have long-admired President Obama’s long-term strategy: Change is a process and if it’s going to “stick,” it happens gradually. To me, the president has consistently and persistently plugged away at making changes whenever he could. When he hit a roadblock, he tried to find another way to proceed. To me, the passage of Obamacare is a miracle.

Sure, it’s not perfect. But it’s a huge step in the right direction of affordable health care for us all. I used to wash pots and pans in a restaurant. At the end of the night, I got the crustiest pots with burnt-on potatoes or gravy and had to get them clean for the next day’s shift. When I filled up these huge pots with soap and water and stuck my hand in to begin to scrub, it was gross; my whole arm was covered by disgusting pieces of food coming loose and floating upward. If I stopped there — because it was too disgusting — the pot never would have gotten clean. So, I kept going, and eventually, those floating pieces of food stopped covering my arm as the pot got cleaner and cleaner. I think the state of the world is like those crusty old pots. If we stop now and give up, just when the disgusting stuff is floating to the surface, we lose. There is plenty of disgusting stuff in the news these days, but all this formerly hidden stuff is just now coming out of the closet, and it’s a good thing. We can’t clean it up unless we know it’s there. People blame the media for creating such a bleak image of the world. I acknowledge that the media focuses on highly sensational stories to boost their ratings, but I also am grateful to the media for showing us all the disgusting stuff that needs to be cleaned up.

events ATTHECENTER Tuesday, Nov. 1


Community Food Bank

Grupo de Apoyo Transgenero 2000

9-10:30 am, The Center nter

6 pm, The Center

The San Diego LGBT Community Center hosts a distribution site once a month for the Community Cares Project of the San Diego Food Bank. On the first Tuesday of every month visit The Center’s parking lot for emergency food. For more information, visit the San Diego Food Bank website at

Este grupo se lleva a cabo de 6pm a 8:30pm, es un grupo abierto a familias, amigos y personas que quieran comprender y dar apoyo a personas transgenero, en este grupo se dan diferentes temas educativos y tambien las chicas comparten sus experiencias de la vida. Todos los Viernes. Para más información, por favor póngase en contacto con Ricardo Gallego al 619.692.2077 x116,

Wednesday, Nov. 2

Guys Games & Grub 6 pm, The Center Guys, Games & Grub, presented by Men @ The Center and Hillcrest Social, is a fun, free monthly social event designed for men – where everyone is welcome. Dozens of men gather at The Center on the first Wednesday of each month for free pizza, beer, wine, soft drinks, games, prizes, and more. Also, check out the popular Live Trivia game (starting at 6:30 pm), hosted each month by community favorite John Lockhart. A donation of $5 is suggested at the door to support men’s programming at The Center. Bring friends or come alone and meet new friends! For more information, contact Aaron Heier at or 619.692.2077 x211.

Tuesday, Nov. 8

ELECTION DAY Don’t boo, vote! Our community can’t afford to sit out this election. Victory starts with voting on your entire ballot – from president through local races and issues. Pledge to vote at Then get out and vote! The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter

Things are changing. Greed, abuse and cruelty are coming out of the closet. Now that we see them clearly, we can do the hard work of change. And it is hard work, but we can do it. Indeed, we’ve already started … and that’s why I’m an optimist. —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Michael is currently accepting new clients. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit▼

GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016



DIANA NYAD list and we’ll start developing programs and incentives,” she said. Those programs and incentives include contests, meet-up groups and recruitment challenges that could bring Nyad and Stoll to your city for a 10-mile hike and a barbecue. Today (Friday, Oct. 28) Nyad and the EverWalk group are leaving Guajome Park, located at 2316 N. Santa Fe Ave. in Oceanside, at 7:30 a.m. with various stops along the way (we will add them online) before they arrive at Del Mar Fairgrounds between 2 and 6 p.m. for a closing rally.

For those who want to join her on Saturday

The last leg is 11 miles, the shortest of the week. You can go to the website and register for free to walk with Nyad and Stoll on Saturday or walk along the sidewalk. The day begins at Kate O. Sessions Park, located at 5115 Soledad Road in La Jolla. Check-in is 8–8:30 a.m., followed by a 30-minute opening rally before the walk starts at 9 a.m. (stops will be added to online article). NTC’s North Promenade in Liberty Station is the final destination, with a closing rally to begin at 2 p.m. —Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at morgan@▼



GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016

Letters One of a kind employer

[Ref: “Team mom,” Vol. 7, Issue 12, or online at] Awesome story about an extremely generous, good-looking young man. John is the best employer I’ve ever had, and so was John Ealy Sr. — one of a kind. It’s rare to find people who not only care for the community, but go above and beyond for their family and employees. If you work for the Ealys long enough, you’re one in the same — family. Thank you for everything, most of all for your continuous support. —Denise Wiscowiche, via —Letters to the editor can be sent to Comments can also be made on our website or Facebook page.▼

Guest Editorial

We’ve come too far to let tobacco drag us down By Bob Gordon The state of California is a leader and shining example for LGBT equality. In 1978, Harvey Milk was the first openly gay man to be elected to a political office in California. In 2005, the California legislature became the first to pass a bill allowing marriage between same-sex couples. Eight years later, the Supreme Court ruled against supporters of Proposition 8, giving California same-sex couples marriage equality. As we reflect and celebrate all of the advancements in LGBT equality over the years, let’s take a moment to acknowledge an often overlooked ill that’s still holding our community back from progress: tobacco. The stats are startling. In fact, research from the California Department of Public Health found that lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals in California are twice as likely to smoke as the straight population (27 percent vs. 13 percent). What’s just as alarming is the number of LGBT lives taken as a result of tobacco use. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Ken Williams, x102 Jeff Clemetson, x119 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Charlene Baldridge Michael Kimmel Frank Sabatini Jr. Chris Azzopardi Archives Staff Ian Morton

(CDC), tobacco kills more people in the United States than HIV, car accidents, illegal drugs and suicide combined. For many in the LGBT community, lighting up a cigarette or vaping may be seen as a social activity with no serious longterm affects — but the numbers tell us otherwise. Tobacco use is a public health issue with far-reaching consequences beyond just those who smoke. For example, LGBT Californians are nearly two times more likely than straight Californians to let someone smoke in their homes, even if they don’t smoke (40 percent vs. 23 percent). In addition, LGBT Californians are exposed more frequently to secondhand smoke in social settings, such as bars and restaurants, than straight Californians. According to the CDC, tobacco is particularly dangerous for transgender women taking estrogen, as smoking increases the risk of blood clots, heart conditions and stroke. Smoking also puts people with HIV and HPV at greater risk of infections such as mouth sores, pneumonia and lung cancer. So how does this happen? Why is tobacco use so prevalent in the LGBT community specifically? WEB & SOCIAL MEDIA Jen Van Tieghem, x118 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

Bob Gordon, MPH, California LGBT Tobacco Education Partnership Research suggests that the LGBT community’s high smoking rates may be linked to the stress of discrimination and direct targeting by the tobacco industry. The LGBT community has been targeted by the tobacco industry for decades. In the 1990s, RJ Reynolds launched “Project SCUM,” a marketing campaign aimed at selling cigarettes to LGBT and homeless San Franciscans. The tobacco industry has spent a great amount of money on campaign contributions to LGBT elected officials, funding AIDS and LGBT organizations, and sponsorship of community and Pride events. ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962


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I’ve personally seen the industry’s deceptive marketing tactics against the gay community through my work with the California LGBT Tobacco Education Program. Every day I hear stories from individuals who are trying to quit and I’m alarmed to learn about Newport cigarettes being distributed at Pride events and that e-cigarette companies are sponsoring these events. LGBT individuals are targeted with menthol products, which pose an even greater health risk than regular cigarettes. Sadly, the ads seem to be working. In 2014, 54 percent of gay, lesbian, and bisexual adult smokers in

California reported smoking menthol cigarettes compared to only 27 percent of straight adult smokers in California. The targeting must stop. We’ve come too far in our fight for LGBT rights to let tobacco drag us down. My hope is that together, we can create awareness about the harmful effects tobacco has on the LGBT community. I encourage all LGBT Californians to become advocates to quit before it’s too late. For resources to quit, call 1-800-NO-BUTTS. In Español, call 1-800-45-No-FUME. Or visit —Bob Gordon, MPH, serves as project director for the California LGBT Tobacco Education Partnership. He also co-facilitates The Last Drag, a free stop-smoking program for the LGBT community in San Francisco. As co-chair of the San Francisco Tobacco Free Coalition, Gordon helped organize San Francisco’s Tobacco 21 ordinance and was key in the passage of the first tobacco-free pharmacy ordinance in the U.S. Gordon has been honored with a number of awards for his work, including the 2013 Communitybased Leadership Award from the Alcohol Tobacco and Other Drugs Section of the American Public Health Association and the 2013 Community Activist Award from the American Legacy Foundation.▼

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Events far and near invites you to “Rep Your Pride” at a special performance of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play “Disgraced.” Included in your ticket price is the play, followed by a wine While our mission is to reception and discussion and preserve local LGBT history, 15 percent of all ticket sales sometimes we get to “play benefit Lambda Archives, so be sure to get yours now. on the big stage.” We were Tickets available from sdrep. recently honored to fulfi ll a org or 619-544-1000. request from our friends Ellen Our next OATA is in honor Holzman and Meredith Vezina of Veterans Day, when we will of TransNarratives to provide present, “We Ask, They Tell: a tour and meeting space to LGBTQ in the Military” on a group of transgender acNov. 14. The panel will distivists from India. The lively cuss being LGBT in the U.S. discussion was video recorded military before and after the so others can learn from the conversation. You can access it policy of President William J. Clinton (and the repeal by through the TransNarratives President Barack Obama). website. You will hear personal stoIn another “big playground,” ries from local activists Jeri head archivist Jen LaBarbera Dilno, who because she was recently presented a keynote a lesbian, was dishonorably address to archivists at a condischarged from the Air Force ference at UCLA. Titled, “Out just three days prior to her of the Box: How Community date of separation; Morgan Archivists Can Engage and Hurley, who was investigated Inspire Today’s Activists,” the three times in seven years by presentation is her take on the Navy; Autumn Sandeen, how history can inform and who chained herself to the shape ongoing struggles for White House fence to protest equality. Closer to home, Jen went to “don’t ask, don’t tell”; and Zachary Schmidt, who is curEscondido for three days this rently able to serve openly and month to accept a very large proudly in the Marine Corps book and video donation from Bob Lynch, a retired architect. today. Seats for this powerful Lynch has been an avid collecpresentation will likely fi ll tor of LGBTQ books and adult up fast. To reserve your fi lms for years and donated free ticket, call us or go to approximately 800 books and Consider 100 DVDs. We’re so grateful making a special contribution to add such a wide variety of in honor of a vetfiction, nonficeran or current tion and art active duty service and photogramember. phy books to By the way, the our library. wonderful volunOf course, teer exhibits team we now have of Nicole Verdes the massive and Brandon task of sorting Torres — who and cataloging put together a these invalubeautiful display able additions about marriage to our library equality — are before we can putting together make them an exhibit that available to Lillian Faderman recently spoke showcases vetyou. Film about her book. erans and their buffs and liactivism as well brarians are as service. The exhibit will welcome to assist. include items loaned from the And speaking of books and San Diego Veterans Museum movies — we hope you didn’t in Balboa Park and materials miss the Oct. 26 “Out at the from of our own collections, Archives” (OATA) special evening with historian and author much of which comes to us from military veteran and Lillian Faderman. Professor local attorney Bridget Wilson, Faderman spoke about her latest book, “The Gay Revolution: who helped so many gay and lesbian veterans throughout The Story of the Struggle,” her career. which gives an in-depth and We are also very honored to extremely readable overview welcome into our collections of the history of the movement memorabilia from Autumn for LGBTQ rights and liberSandeen relating to her Navy ation, from the 1950s to the career and post-Navy activism. present. We may still have a Donations are always apprecifew copies if you want to buy ated; they allow us to continue one signed by the author. to bring insightful programThe following day we partming, like OATA, to the comnered with the San Diego munity and to preserve and Biomedical Research Institute protect important artifacts, and Sir Dermot Turing to such as a military uniform present a screening and disand discharge papers, as well cussion of the movie, “The as the personal histories of Imitation Game,” which focusSan Diego area veterans. es on the work of Alan Turing The exhibit will be unveiled and his struggles as a gay man in his work of code-break- Nov. 6, in time for the Art and Taste of University Heights ing for U.S. military intellievent. Tickets for the “Taste gence during World War II. of UH” can be purchased from On Thursday, Nov. 3, the University Heights Historical San Diego Repertory Theater

Out of the Archives Archives Staff

GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


Association. The art portion, including tours at Lambda Archives, is free. Coming up: On Dec. 10, we will host our annual members meeting to elect new board members, followed by a holiday open house. Everyone is welcome; watch for details. —Lambda Archives, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to collecting, preserving and teaching the history of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in San Diego and the Northern Baja California region, is located at 4545 Park Blvd., in University Heights. To learn more or volunteer, stop in, call 619-260-1522, or visit their website at▼

Trans activists from India visited with Walter Meyer of the Archives (far right) along with Transnarratives founders Ellen Holzman (second from right) and Meredith Vezina (middle). (Courtesy Lambda Archives)



GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016

Coming out of the dark Tyler Glenn on resisting suicide, losing his religion and being ‘unapologetically’ gay Chris Azzopardi | QSyndicate

Neon Trees frontman says he is “unapologetically” gay. (Photo by Meredith Truax)

“To be honest …” Tyler Glenn begins, following a telling deep breath. Glenn’s lead-in could serve as the prologue to his new no-holds-barred solo debut album, “Excommunication.” Here, however, it precedes the heavy moment when Glenn, the lead singer of Neon Trees, reveals that he’s considered suicide twice this year. Perhaps that comes as a surprise.

The singer seemed vibrant and hopeful when he came out in 2014. At the time, Glenn was looking to reconcile his Mormon faith with being gay and during our talk that same year, he said, “I think that there’s a time and a place to come out and I don’t know if waiting until I was 30 was the best thing, but it definitely has turned out fine, and I’m a happy person.” A year later, Glenn received dispiriting news that left him feeling just the opposite: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints enacted a policy that prevents children living with same-sex couples from being baptized until age 18 (they must also “disavow” same-sex relationships before baptism) and proclaims members in gay marriages subject to excommunication. The church’s shameful decision had a destructive effect on Glenn’s well being. “I tried to kill myself,” the singer confessed on the new album’s G.D.M.M.L. GRLS (i.e. “God Didn’t Make Me Like Girls”), “and I’m not the only one.” During our sobering exchange, the 32-year-old ex-Mormon spoke candidly about his descent into a life-threatening

low and how his own fans pulled — and are still pulling — him through. (Chris Azzopardi | CA) When were you having these suicidal thoughts and what kept you from taking your life? (Tyler Glenn | TG) [Sighs] To be honest, it was earlier this year. For me, I believed in Mormonism, and I knew I was gay, and then I tried to merge the two together. Then, when the church put out a policy that clearly put same-sex couples in their place and in a marginalized box, it was just clear to me it was a toxic space. I started looking at things that I thought I knew were true my whole life and really began to see that those things weren’t true. I looked deeper and I fell down a rabbit hole. I felt the rug had been pulled out from under me, and I didn’t know what to believe in. It became really dark and I realized how it feels to want to sort of, you know, leave. And, to be honest, even two months ago I felt this thought and saw my life sort of — I don’t know. It’s been a long road. I totally recognize now what it’s like to be that dark and to think that that might be an option, and it freaked me out. (CA) I’m sorry you were having these thoughts just a couple of months ago. I hope that you have pulled yourself out of that rabbit hole. (TG) I have. I hope I don’t go back. I know that I need to be stronger, but there are times when it’s just all fresh for me, and that’s the thing with this record: I’m still sort of living it. It’s not completely behind me. (CA) How would you describe the feeling of being this beacon of light for young queer people, but at the same time experiencing the same struggles they’re going through? Is it conflicting for you? (TG) It is. [Sighs] A month ago I went to Wyoming for a weekend with LGBTQ kids to speak with Matthew Shepard’s mom, to hear my own mom speak about being a mother of a queer kid, and then I just got to hear from kid after kid and adults as well who were pouring their hearts out. But the day before was probably one of the lower points in my life — of this year, at least. I was on a plane and I was telling the lady next to me that I want to be able to tell all these people that it gets better, but I don’t know that for sure. Then to be able to go and spend a weekend in Wyoming and have my perspective and attitude change — those are the things that keep me from falling completely down that dark hole. So, it’s conflicting. It exhausts me because I’m actually just kind of an introvert. I know that about myself. But I am so in awe of other people’s strength and I need them as much as maybe they need me sometimes. I need to hear that it’s gonna be good, that there’s a point to all this. So, I feel really bonded to my gayness, I feel really bonded to the community more than I ever have and I’m really exploring that.

see Glenn, pg 17


A rendering from the old days, when the restaurant’s interior was dark and red. (Courtesy Mister A’s) FROM PAGE 1

MAITRE'D Capozzelli was hired as a waiter at Mister A’s in 1984. He soon grew into the role of maitre’d during a period when the restaurant was distinguished by heavy red fabrics and a gaudy, Mediterranean motif, which equated to a formality that required strict dress codes for both staff and customers. “I had to wear a full tuxedo at night and a captain’s jacket with a tuxedo shirt and bow tie during the day,” he recalled. Today, the tall, well-coiffed New Jersey native greets guests on his regular, weekday lunch shifts dressed in charcoal-gray trousers, a white shirt and necktie. As of recently, his jacket became optional. The dress code for customers has also been somewhat relaxed, compared to the days when women weren’t allowed to wear pantsuits in the restau-

Hug — Capozzelli brings a comforting brand of wit and humor to the job for breaking the ice with his guests. “If I sense someone is intimidated when asking what wagyu beef is, I’ll say, ‘it’s a hamburger.’ Or if I see that someone wants to order the filet mignon but doesn’t know how to pronounce it, I tell them to just point to it on the menu. No big deal. I’ll always go with a joke and respond to people with something funny.” As a member of the LGBT community, he also relishes visiting the tables of same-sex couples celebrating their weddings. “I make a big thing about it — and it brings tears to my eyes because I never thought I’d see the day when gay marriage would be legal,” he said. Yet as a maitre’d who oversees all of the restaurant’s 51 tables while on duty and orchestrates pre-shift meetings with wait staff and their captains, Capozzelli must balance his affability with a hardline approach to detail.

Everything is placed just right with Capozzelli. (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.) rant and dress jackets for men were de rigueur. For guys who arrived jacketless, Capozzelli would lend them one from a closet stocked with various sizes. Now, he is tasked with politely informing guests that flip flops, T-shirts, gym attire and baseball caps aren’t permitted. Although wearing shorts (until 4:30 p.m.) and non-torn jeans (any time) are acceptable. “People still get confrontational about our dress code, but we do our best to make sure they know ahead of time when confirming their reservations. And there are also signs,” he said. Despite working in one of San Diego’s most formal dining spots — founded 51 years ago by the Alessio family and then purchased and modernized in 2000 by chef-restaurateur Bertrand

On a recent afternoon before the restaurant opened for lunch, he adjusted the chairs at a lengthy, rectangular table with the precision of a draftsman, pulling every seat out halfway and with their backs in flawless, horizontal alignment. Wine glasses and white tablecloths throughout the restaurant were spotless, even under the scrutiny of the midday sun flooding the dining room. Linen napkins were folded with intricate uniformity, each containing an inconspicuous pocket for transporting individual sets of silverware from the kitchen to the tables. It’s a maneuver that keeps the utensils organized and fingerprint-free. Should a butter knife be missing from any table, or a floral pot set askew, he reflexively

identifies and corrects such flaws in a daily, routine process known as the “mis en place,” a French culinary term for “putting everything in its place.” But when proper restaurant decorum is ultimately challenged — that being when customers try slipping away without paying their bill — the super-composed maitre’d turns into a feisty vigilante, though fortunately only on rare occasions. “I once caught up with two guys in the elevator after they walked out on their check,” he mused. “They claimed to have accidentally left their wallets in the car. So I went down with them and they got into a convertible and started backing up while I was standing behind it. I then jumped onto the vehicle as they were driving away. But I fell off and they got away.” To the contrary, and without name-dropping, Capozzelli has tended to presidents, celebrities and sports figures over the years. For high-ranking politicians, he meets in advance with secret service personnel in reviewing seating arrangements, menu options and lowkey exit strategies. “Discretion is our number one priority,” he said. “We don’t make big commotions when famous people come in, so other customers generally don’t even know they are there.” Capozzelli’s credits his “big Italian family” for sending him on a path into the hospitality industry. “There would sometimes be 15 to 20 of us sitting around the table having dinner,” he said. “I would help serve, clear and do all that stuff from the time I was a kid. It’s a part of life that comes easy to me.” After earning an associate’s degree in hotel-restaurant management from Brandywine College in Delaware, Capozzelli worked as a sales rep and banquet manager for Hilton in New York City. He also trained for six months at a five-star hotel in Switzerland as part of a Hilton exchange program, during which he learned how to carve meats and flambé desserts. The opportunity, he recalled, proved advantageous for flambéing duck l’orange, steak Diane and crepes Suzette tableside at Mister A’s before they were phased out. Upon moving to San Diego in 1983, he was hired as an

GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016 executive steward at the Hyatt Islandia before working briefly as a maitre’d at the La Jolla Country Club. In garnering a loyal clientele at Mister A’s for his consummate service, he was honored as “front of the house person” in 2014 by the California Restaurant Association. He has also sporadically taught table etiquette to underserved students through Pro Kids, an organization that promotes character development through education and golf. “I bring groups of them into the restaurant and have a table all set up with plates and silverware — forks on the left, knives on the right and napkins on their laps. I have them practice cutting procedures on Twinkies that I buy and teach them things that many adults don’t even know.” When pressed for additional etiquette tips, he said that leaving your fork upside down on the plate if pausing or stepping away indicates to

Capozzelli used to make crepes Suzette tableside. (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

the server you are still eating. Once finished, point the fork back up, and lay it down on the right side of your dish (not on the tablecloth) around the four o’clock mark. His strongest piece of advice: “Never eat off someone else’s plate without being invited.” In his spare time, Capozzelli likes to travel and throw dinner parties for friends and family members at his Mira Mesa residence. Though as a rooted, frontline employee of Mister A’s, he remains happily devoted to his numerous longtime customers, from ladies in Prada and couples in love, to families with kids and old timers who have patronized the restaurant since it opened. “And so here we are in 2016,” he reflected, while glancing briefly out the windows at the dazzling urban view that has been part of his life for the past 32 years. “I would have never guessed.” It’s a perk that he doesn’t seem to take for granted. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at▼


SDCNN wins 7 ‘Excellence in Journalism’ Awards By SDCNN Staff San Diego Community News Network (SDCNN) won a total of seven awards at San Diego Press Club’s 43rd annual Excellence in Journalism Awards on Oct. 25 at the Joe & Vi Jacobs Center at Market Creek. Hundreds of journalists and their guests turned out for the event, enjoying gourmet tastings of local food, wine and craft beer at the reception before the ceremony. Mulligan Stew provided the music during the reception and Barbarella Fokos emceed during the presentation of special awards. SDCNN publishes two biweeklies, San Diego Uptown News and Gay San Diego, and four monthlies, San Diego Downtown News, Mission Valley News, Mission Times Courier and La Mesa Courier. The papers competed in the category of non-daily newspapers. “I am proud of our talented team who continually offer our readers quality news and information that cannot be found anywhere else,” said David Mannis, SDCNN publisher. “We strive to be the No. 1 resource for the communities we serve.” Managing Editor Morgan M. Hurley, who is editor of both San Diego Downtown News and Gay San Diego, won two first-place awards: ● General News — “Hacking into the new sandiego. gov,” published in the March issue of Downtown News. The article took at look at a meetup group that did a “live hack” on the city of San Diego’s newly redesigned website to provide important feedback on how well the site was working. Read it at ● Series — “Stepping Stone series,” published in Gay San Diego on Jan. 22 and Feb. 5. “A friend of the Stone” featured Cheryl Houk and her return to lead the region’s only LGBT-centric drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. Read it at The second and final part of the series, “They keep coming back,” explained how graduates of the program return to the center to give back. Read it at Jeff Clemetson, editor of Mission Valley News, Mission Times Courier and La Mesa Courier, also won a first-place award: ● Education — “Finance High: Junior Achievement teaches literacy at new park,” published in the October 2015 issue of Mission Times Courier. The article highlighted Mission Fed JA Finance Park, a high-tech financial literacy campus that takes students through a virtual simulator of various career paths and life

see SDCNN, pg 16


GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016

What is TRUVADA for PrEP (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis)? TRUVADA is a prescription medicine that can be used for PrEP to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection when used together with safer sex practices. This use is only for adults who are at high risk of getting HIV-1 through sex. This includes HIV-negative men who have sex with men and who are at high risk of getting infected with HIV-1 through sex, and male-female sex partners when one partner has HIV-1 infection and the other does not. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to prevent getting HIV-1. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids. Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION What is the most important information I should know about TRUVADA for PrEP?

Before taking TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: ‹ You must be HIV-negative. You must get tested to make sure that you do not already have HIV-1 infection. Do not take TRUVADA for 2T'2VQTGFWEGVJGTKUMQHIGVVKPI*+8WPNGUU[QWCTGEQPĆ’TOGFVQ be HIV-negative. ‹ Many HIV-1 tests can miss HIV-1 infection in a person who has recently become infected. If you have flu-like symptoms, you could have recently become infected with HIV-1. Tell your healthcare provider if you had a flu-like illness within the last month before starting TRUVADA for PrEP or at any time while taking TRUVADA for PrEP. Symptoms of new HIV-1 infection include tiredness, fever, joint or muscle aches, headache, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, night sweats, and/or enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or groin. While taking TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: ‹ You must continue using safer sex practices. Just taking TRUVADA for PrEP may not keep you from getting HIV-1. ‹You must stay HIV-negative to keep taking TRUVADA for PrEP. ‹To further help reduce your risk of getting HIV-1: • Know your HIV-1 status and the HIV-1 status of your partners. • Get tested for HIV-1 at least every 3 months or when your healthcare provider tells you. • Get tested for other sexually transmitted infections. Other infections make it easier for HIV-1 to infect you. • Get information and support to help reduce risky sexual behavior. • Have fewer sex partners. • Do not miss any doses of TRUVADA. Missing doses may increase your risk of getting HIV-1 infection. • If you think you were exposed to HIV-1, tell your healthcare provider right away. ‹ If you do become HIV-1 positive, you need more medicine than TRUVADA alone to treat HIV-1. TRUVADA by itself is not a complete treatment for HIV-1. If you have HIV-1 and take only TRUVADA, your HIV-1 may become harder to treat over time. TRUVADA can cause serious side effects: ‹ Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency. Symptoms of lactic acidosis include weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, nausea, vomiting, stomach-area pain, cold or blue hands and feet, feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or fast or abnormal heartbeats. ‹ Serious liver problems. Your liver may become large and tender, and you may develop fat in your liver. Symptoms of liver problems include your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-coloredâ€? urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach-area pain.

‹ You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or serious liver

problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking TRUVADA for a long time. In some cases, these serious conditions have led to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any symptoms of these conditions. ‹ Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you also have HBV and take TRUVADA, your hepatitis may become worse if you stop VCMKPI6478#&#&QPQVUVQRVCMKPI6478#&#YKVJQWVƒTUVVCNMKPI to your healthcare provider. If your healthcare provider tells you to stop taking TRUVADA, they will need to watch you closely for several months to monitor your health. TRUVADA is not approved for the treatment of HBV.

Who should not take TRUVADA for PrEP?

Do not take TRUVADA for PrEP if you already have HIV-1 infection or if you do not know your HIV-1 status. If you are HIV-1 positive, you need to take other medicines with TRUVADA to treat HIV-1. TRUVADA by itself is not a complete treatment for HIV-1. If you have HIV-1 and take only TRUVADA, your HIV-1 may become harder to treat over time. Do not take TRUVADA for PrEP if you also take lamivudine (Epivir-HBV) or adefovir (HEPSERA).

What are the other possible side effects of TRUVADA for PrEP?

Serious side effects of TRUVADA may also include: ‹ Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider may do blood tests to check your kidneys before and during treatment with TRUVADA for PrEP. If you develop kidney problems, your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking TRUVADA for PrEP. ‹ Bone problems, including bone pain or bones getting soft or thin, may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones. ‹ Changes in body fat, which can happen in people taking TRUVADA or medicines like TRUVADA. Common side effects in people taking TRUVADA for PrEP are stomacharea (abdomen) pain, headache, and decreased weight. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or do not go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking TRUVADA for PrEP?

‹ All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you

have or have had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection. ‹ If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if TRUVADA can harm your unborn baby. If you become pregnant while taking TRUVADA for PrEP, talk to your healthcare provider to decide if you should keep taking TRUVADA for PrEP. Pregnancy Registry:ÇĄ#RTGIPCPE[TGIKUVT[EQNNGEVUKPHQTOCVKQPCDQWV your health and the health of your baby. There is a pregnancy registry for women who take medicines to prevent HIV-1 during pregnancy. For more information about the registry and how it works, talk to your healthcare provider. ‹ If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. The medicines in TRUVADA can pass to your baby in breast milk. If you become HIV-1 positive, HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. ‹ All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. TRUVADA may interact with other medicines. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. ‹ +H[QWVCMGEGTVCKPQVJGTOGFKEKPGUÇĄwith TRUVADA for PrEP, your healthcare provider may need to check you more often or change your dose. These medicines include ledipasvir with sofosbuvir (HARVONI). You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs VQVJG(&#8KUKVÇĄYYY(&#IQXOGFYCVEJQTECNN(&#

Please see Important Facts about TRUVADA for PrEP including important warnings on the following page.

GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016

Have you heard about


The once-daily prescription medicine that can help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 when used with safer sex practices. • TRUVADA for PrEP is only for adults who are at high risk of getting HIV through sex. • You must be HIV-negative before you start taking TRUVADA. Ask your doctor about your risk of getting HIV-1 infection and if TRUVADA for PrEP may be right for you.




GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


This is only a brief summary of important information about taking TRUVADA for PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection. This does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your medicine.



Before starting TRUVADA for PrEP to help reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: • You must be HIV-1 negative. You must get tested to make sure that you do not already have HIV-1 infection. Do not take TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce VJGTKUMQHIGVVKPI*+8WPNGUU[QWCTGEQPƒTOGFVQDG*+8PGICVKXG • Many HIV-1 tests can miss HIV-1 infection in a person who has recently become infected. Symptoms of new HIV-1 infection include flu-like symptoms, tiredness, fever, joint or muscle aches, headache, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, night sweats, and/or enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or groin. Tell your healthcare provider if you have had a flu-like illness within the last month before starting TRUVADA for PrEP.

TRUVADA can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “Most Important Information About TRUVADA for PrEP" section. • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. • Bone problems. • Changes in body fat. Common side effects in people taking TRUVADA for PrEP include stomacharea (abdomen) pain, headache, and decreased weight. These are not all the possible side effects of TRUVADA. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking TRUVADA for PrEP. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with TRUVADA for PrEP.

While taking TRUVADA for PrEP to help reduce your risk of getting HIV-1 infection: • You must continue using safer sex practices. Just taking TRUVADA for PrEP may not keep you from getting HIV-1. • You must stay HIV-1 negative to keep taking TRUVADA for PrEP. • Tell your healthcare provider if you have a flu-like illness while taking TRUVADA for PrEP. • If you think you were exposed to HIV-1, tell your healthcare provider right away. • If you do become HIV-1 positive, you need more medicine than TRUVADA alone to treat HIV-1. If you have HIV-1 and take only TRUVADA, your HIV-1 may become harder to treat over time. • See the “How to Further Reduce Your Riskâ€? section for more information. TRUVADA may cause serious side effects, including: • Buildup of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, nausea, vomiting, stomach-area pain, cold or blue hands and feet, feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or fast or abnormal heartbeats. • Severe liver problems, which in some cases can lead to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-coloredâ€? urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/ or stomach-area pain. • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you have HBV and take TRUVADA, your hepatitis may become worse if you stop taking TRUVADA. &QPQVUVQRVCMKPI6478#&#YKVJQWVĆ’TUVVCNMKPIVQ[QWTJGCNVJECTG provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months. You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight, or have been taking TRUVADA for a long time.

ABOUT TRUVADA FOR PrEP (PRE-EXPOSURE PROPHYLAXIS) TRUVADA is a prescription medicine used with safer sex practices for PrEP to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection in adults at high risk: • HIV-1 negative men who have sex with men and who are at high risk of getting infected with HIV-1 through sex. • Male-female sex partners when one partner has HIV-1 infection and the other does not. To help determine your risk, talk openly with your doctor about your sexual health. Do NOT take TRUVADA for PrEP if you: • Already have HIV-1 infection or if you do not know your HIV-1 status. • Take lamivudine (Epivir-HBV) or adefovir (HEPSERA).

BEFORE TAKING TRUVADA FOR PrEP Tell your healthcare provider if you: • Have or have had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. • Have any other medical conditions. • Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. • Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you become HIV-1 positive because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. • Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with TRUVADA for PrEP.

HOW TO TAKE TRUVADA FOR PrEP • Take 1 tablet once a day, every day, not just when you think you have been exposed to HIV-1. • Do not miss any doses. Missing doses may increase your risk of getting HIV-1 infection. • You must practice safer sex by using condoms and you must stay HIV-1 negative.

HOW TO FURTHER REDUCE YOUR RISK • Know your HIV-1 status and the HIV-1 status of your partners. • Get tested for HIV-1 at least every 3 months or when your healthcare provider tells you. • Get tested for other sexually transmitted infections. Other infections make it easier for HIV-1 to infect you. • Get information and support to help reduce risky sexual behavior. • Have fewer sex partners. • Do not share needles or personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them.


TRUVADA, the TRUVADA Logo, TRUVADA FOR PREP, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and HEPSERA are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: April 2016 Š 2016 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. TVDC0070 10/16

• This is only a brief summary of important information about TRUVADA for PrEP to reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more, including how to prevent HIV-1 infection. • Go to or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 • If you need help paying for your medicine, visit for program information.


GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


Pulitzer Prize winner ‘Disgraced’ does not disappoint Theater Review Charlene Baldridge


Around the time Ayad Akhtar’s “The Who & the What” received its premiere at La Jolla Playhouse, it was announced that his earlier play, “Disgraced” would receive the 2013 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. This season, the Playhouse premiered Akhtar’s latest play, “Junk: the History of Debt,” and now, at last, San Diegans have the opportunity to see “Disgraced” in a fine, hard-hitting production that opened Oct. 26 at San Diego Repertory Theatre. Michael Arabian, who does his own fight choreography,

By Ayad Akhtar Directed by Michael Arabian Wednesdays through Sundays Through Nov. 13 San Diego Repertory Theatre Lyceum Theatre, 79 Horton Plaza Tickets $38-$64

(l to r) Monique Gaffney, Ronobir Lahiri, Allison Spratt Pearce, and Richard Baird in “Disgraced” (Photo by Daren Scott) directs the swift, devastating and violent “Disgraced,” which is played in one 90-minute act upon John Iacovelli’s set, a tasteful Upper East Side apartment.

(l to r) Ronobir Lahiri and Richard Baird in a heated moment of the Pulitzer Prize winning play (Photo by Daren Scott)


Book and Lyrics By

Music and Lyrics By

Choreographed By

Directed By




October 25 – December 4


A soaring new musical about family, country and finding your way home.


(L-R) Krystina Alabado and Daphne Rubin-Vega. Photo by Jim Carmody

– The New York Times

It is the home of an American born, Islam-raised mergers and acquisitions attorney, Amir Kapoor (Ronobir Lahri), and his American wife, Emily (Allison Spratt Pearce), an artist with an affinity for the Islamic art tradition that her hoped-for gallery dealer says takes it to a new level. Amir, who has a penchant for $600 shirts (no starch, just an incredible thread count), has soft-pedaled his heritage to advance in his largely Jewish law firm. Played by M. Keala Milles Jr., Amir’s nephew Abe (real name Hussein) has also done the same, as if the playwright and his characters foresaw the coming of Donald Trump and the even earlier beginnings of Islamaphobia. Tellingly, the play is set in late summer 2011. Not knowing for certain whether her recent paintings have been accepted into her art dealer Isaac’s (Richard Baird)

prestigious show, Emily invites him and his African-American wife, Jory (Monique Gaffney), a colleague of Amir’s, to dinner. None of these people are very likable and their marriages are frayed as well. They proceed to have at one another, as all manner of taboo matters are discussed. The upshot: Amir’s career is completely ruined, along with Emily’s chances for significant recognition. The evening culminates in gut-wrenching violence, the outcome of which is observed by Abe. There is one more chilling scene, quite impressively played by young Mr. Milles. Telling the truth, Akhtar amazingly and subtly helps onlookers to understand the young Muslim’s conflicts, and, by extension, many of today’s problems. If nothing else, Arabian’s production demonstrates why the play is worthy of a Pulitzer 619-544-1000 Prize and why Akhtar is among the nation’s most produced playwrights. His wit, insight and intelligence make “Disgraced” a most compelling, important and suspenseful work of art. Further helping us to understand this world are the costumes of Anastasia Paulova, the lighting of Brian Gale, and the amazing sound design of Kevin Anthenill. The Rep’s physical plant is still challenging due to the $3 million renovations still under way. Meanwhile, they are doing all humanly possible to accommodate patrons and make them comfortable. — Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the arts since 1979. You can follow her blog at charlenecriticism. or reach her at▼



GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016 Francophiles take note. From 6–7:30 p.m. every Wednesday, Pardon My French Bar & Kitchen in Hillcrest presents “MĂŠnage a Trois,â€? which affords guests a tasting of six French wines paired to imported cheeses and cured meats. The price is $40 per person. 3797 Park Blvd., 619-546-4328,

The owners of The Waterfront Bar & Grill in Little Italy — Chad Cline and Jason Nichols — have opened Banzai Bar in Loma Portal. According to manager Chris Ninteman, “We’re the only establishment in town that can show live home games of the San Diego Gulls.� The bar, which carries a full liquor license, features a 400-gallon saltwater fish tank, a kitchen that stays open until 1 a.m. daily, and four flat screens and a giant projector used for showing sports games and music videos. The menu was created by Cline’s wife, Maja, and reveals some creative dishes such as grilled ginger wings, artichoke tacos, a seared ahi club sandwich and other savory noshables. There are also Waterfront sliders. Banzai offers happy hour from 3–6 p.m., Monday through Friday, when all draft beers are $4. It also features separate beer bargains exclusive to patio. 3048 Midway Drive, 619-501-5458,

Bine and Vine Bottle Shop in Normal Heights celebrates its fifth anniversary with a specially brewed IPA beer for the occasion, made with a trio of Citra, Nelson and Cascade hops. The beer was brewed in collaboration with El Segundo Brewing Company and rings in at 6.6 percent alcohol. It was released Oct. 25, and is available exclusively at the shop or online. 3334 Adams Ave., 619-795-2463,

Curds from Venissimo Cheese are coming to Thorn Street Brewery for Beer Week. (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

Numerous events are on tap at local breweries and restaurants for the eighth annual San Diego Beer Week, which runs Nov. 4 through 13. More than 100 breweries from San Diego County are taking part. The festival kicks off with a two-day celebration of specialty and limited-edition beers by local breweries, on Nov. 4–5, at Downtown’s Port Pavilion on Broadway Pier, hosted by San Diego Brewers Guild. Tickets for either or both days range from $40 to $100. Other happenings include beer and cheese pairings hosted in part by Venissimo Cheese, at 1 p.m., Nov. 5, at Thorn Street Brewery in North Park; a Modern Times beer dinner featuring vegan beer and an all-vegetarian menu, at 6:30 p.m., Nov. 7, at Mess Hall in Liberty Station; and a Belching Beaver beer dinner prepared by Chef Deborah Scott, at 7 p.m., Nov. 10, at C-Level on Harbor Island. For prices and a complete list of events, visit La Jolla will see the arrival of a second location of Streetcar Merchants, the North Park eatery famous for its fried chicken and gourmet donuts. Owner Ron Suel says the new venture will be a “luxe� version of his 30th Street operation, due to significantly more space, a full bar and additional food choices, such as short ribs, sandwiches and side dishes. The menu will also feature gluten-free fried chicken. “We’re reinventing what we’ve done in North Park, but with more Southern flair,� he said. Due to open by late November, the new location will feature brunch, lunch and dinner daily. 811 Prospect St.,

Critic’s Choice “The Lion shines! Benjamin Scheuer’s sound is completely his own—so is his absorbing story.� The San Diego Union-Tribune

Wienerschnitzel is honoring “veterans and active-duty military with ID or in uniform� — according to a company spokesperson — on Nov. 11 with a free chili dog, small fries and 20-ounce soft drink. The offer is available at all locations nationwide, from opening to close. Local outlets include those in Pacific Beach, Point Loma and Kearny Mesa. wiener

Scheuer is in such command of his material that he makes it all seamless and revelatory and incredibly entertaining.�

(Courtesy Wienerschnitzel)

Thanksgiving dinner in a bun? It’s the latest burger creation at Slater’s 50/50 and available for the entire month of November. The seasoned turkey patty, served on a honey-wheat roll, features brioche dressing, turkey gravy, house-made cranberry sauce, and garlic-sage aioli. It’s priced at $12.99. 2750 Dewey Road, Liberty Station, 619-398-2600,

Slater’s seasonal turkey burger (Courtesy Slater’s 50/50)


—Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@san.▟

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“A star-making performance!

The chili dog at Wienerschnitzel


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The Lion Written and Performed by Benjamin Scheuer Directed by Sean Daniels

Final Performances! Must Close Sunday B j Benjamin Scheuer. Sch heuer. Photo Photo t by by Matthew Matth tthew M Murphy. urphy. h

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GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


Carb boosters from an established taco shop Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr. Yes, there are potatoes at Papas & Tacos Mexican Food, but not to the degree you might expect considering the Spanish word for the starchy vegetable (papas) sits at the lead of the eatery’s full name. Though if you can settle for plump and crunchy potato tacos, or soothing chicken soup fortified with tender, cubed russets, you’ve come to the right address. Established in 1989, and now under new ownership, Papas recently expanded its menu and streamlined its hours of operation. In years prior, the shop erratically closed for hours or days at a time to the dismay of unting for a fast bite customers hunting iet, taco-less stretch along this quiet, ue. of First Avenue. er this year, it began As of earlier tion nal items such slinging additional s, ca arne as taco salads, carne s, ch himiasada nachos, chimichangas and thee oned d above-mentioned chicken soup stocked with zucchini, car-rots, potatoess and what appeared to be the equivalent of two chopped chicken breasts floating within. (Hubby and I made a pactt upon first sip,, that either rive to Papas to he or I will drive use made liquid gold fetch this house-made for whoever between us first gets struck with a cold this winter season.) Also, the interior has been refreshed with a bright coat of white paint matching plainly to white, Formica-top tables and clean, beige tile flooring. Without the Halloween decorations currently in place, the atmosphere is aesthetically colorless. Situated in a strip plaza next door to a dive bar named Cherrybomb — a main source

of business for Papas — I found easy parking in the plaza’s small lot over two separate visits. Missing inside the shop, however, is a salsa bar, an all-important amenity that otherwise leaves you at the mercy of applying “gravy” to your food through wellused squeeze bottles. I found both the red and green salsas negligible. The former lacked zingy red chilies, while the green tasted like nothing in particular, except a tad spicier. If I had judged Papas only on its salsas and mushy chicken rolled tacos I tried initially, I would have never returned. But several hits ensued during urse of my visits. In addithe course p, the “TJ tion too the soup, a aquitos” style taquitos” were classicc street ta-

find in San Diego’s casual taco shops. Before ordering them, the woman working the counter gave us a teaspoon of the sauce, which she said contains “lots of ingredients, including dark chocolate.” The sample was cold and tasted bitter. Although when heated and applied to the chicken-stuffed enchiladas, it permutated into a sweet, complex mole similar (and cheaper) to the deluxe versions you’ll find at El Agave in Old Town. We loved the potato tacos, but longed for zestier salsas as we hrough their crispy, crunched through fried shells and hit upon generous measures off the mashed spuds with iceberg lettuce, letttuce, combined with

diced tomatoes and shredded cheese. Served alongside were decent refried pinto beans and mediocre Mexican rice. Perhaps the fieriest item on the menu is the spicy fish taco bedded on corn tortillas. We ordered one a la carte. It featured a small fillet of tilapia saturated in a blistering dark-red sauce that required swigs of cold water after every bite. Indeed, the flavor of the fish had no chance of surfacing, but I liked it anyhow. Papas’ also offers a plethora of vegetarian burritos filled a choice of ingredients such as spin nach, zucchini, bell peppers, spinach,

mushrooms and nopales (cactus), all with or without beans, cheese or rice. There are also several types of breakfast burritos, one of them containing potatoes. The staff caters well to custom orders, although whether you’re eating inside or taking food to go, be prepared to wait about 10 minutes longer for your food than you would at other Mexican joints, even in the absence of a line. Your reward will be reasonably inexpensive grub that is perhaps more carefully crafted and original than what you’ll find at other taco shops. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the auth of “Secret San Diego” (ECW thor P Press), and began his local writiing career more than two decades a ago as a staffer for the former San D Diego Tribune. You can reach him a at▼

Papas & Tacos Mexican Food 2239 First Ave. (Bankers Hill) 619-233-6097,

(clockwise from top left) Potato tacos; mole enchiladas; chicken soup; and TJ-style carnitas tacos (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

cos: steamy corn tortillas topped with nicely seasoned carnitas carnitas, diced white onions and fresh cilantro. The accompanying lime wedge was obligatory for gaining the full south-of-the-border flavor experience. A poblano burrito had everything going for it — grilled chicken (or carne asada), braised onions, sour cream, and generous strips of the dark-green poblanos, which I’ll take any day over Anaheim chilies because of their deeper, spicier essence. Mole enchiladas are a rare

Papas & Tacos was established in 1989 (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

Prices: Salads and soups, $6.44 to $7.50; a la carte burritos, tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas and tortas, $1.75 to $8.44; combination plates, $6.25 to $8.9



GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


SDCNN circumstances to realistically prepare them for the kinds of budget challenges they will face in their college and post-college years. Read it at Ken Williams, editor of Uptown News, and former art director Vince Meehan shared a first-place award: � Front page design — “Front page of Uptown News Feb. 12.� The dramatic front cover featured a large photograph of North Park resident Nick Norris modeling his Predator Warpaint designed for our troops and hunters, featuring a “war type� headline that read: “War on skin cancer. Former SEAL creates line of camouflage face paint laden with sunscreen.� The secondary photo was intense, featuring rows of empty shoes symbolizing the 54 lives that were lost in traffic accidents in 2015 in San Diego. See the digital edition at Williams also won a second-place award: � General News — “Looking up: North Park’s future coming into sharp focus,� published Jan. 29 in Uptown News. The article provided

an in-depth exploration of the first public glimpse at the final draft of the North Park Community Plan Update and explained what that vision would look like for local residents. Read it at Hurley won a second-place award, too: â—? Feature — “A city in flux,â€? published April 15 in Gay San Diego. The feature was on Cori Schumacher, a three-time world champion longboard surfer and lesbian activist, who has settled down in conservative Carlsbad and decided to run for City Council to bring about change. Read it at Also, SDCNN contributor Kai Oliver-Kurtin won a second-place award: â—? Food — “Gaslamp restaurants stand the test of time,â€? published in the February issue of Downtown News. The article asked restaurateurs at long-standing eateries about their recipe for success. Read it at The San Diego Press Club, which was established in 1973, is one of the largest clubs in the U.S. for media professionals. —To find links of the San Diego Community News Network newspapers, visitâ–ź

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GLENN That, I think, is one of the most rewarding things about this record so far for me. (CA) What were you feeling during the process of writing and recording the songs for “Excommunication”? (TG) I felt pretty out of my mind when I was writing a lot of it because I just felt compelled every day. I woke up and paced my apartment, manically writing beats so that I could sing the melody in my head. There are a few songs that didn’t make the record that are even more raw and pointed, but what ended up making the record is a body of work that showcases the highs and lows of this transition, as well as this coming to terms with identity. In that way, writing it was really effortless, but exhausting. Recording it was one of the most creative, joyful experiences so far in my musical career. That’s what makes it worth it. It’s really rewarding. I hate to sound like this guy who’s like, “I don’t care if it’s No. 1,” or, “I don’t care if I have a hit off of it” — those things are important — but what’s driving this record is the real-life crisis that I’ve gone through and shining a light on those who are also going through it. To know I’m not alone is really exciting. So, if the record reaches the audience I made it for, then I’m stoked. To me, that’s success. (CA) Which song on the album means the most to you? (TG) That’s hard for me; there are a few. There’s one called “Midnight” that when I see people’s reaction it means so much to me. There are a lot of songs on the record that talk about big questions and wondering about [my] purpose and feeling the hurt, but “Midnight” encompasses the universal experience of not really knowing for sure. Growing up Mormon, I knew the church was true. Now, to say “I don’t know” is really kind of freeing. (CA) Tell me about “John, Give ’Em Hell.” Did you write that for excommunicated Mormon podcaster John Dehlin? (TG) I wrote it for John Dehlin, yeah. I wrote it for John just as a friendship gift. It was on acoustic guitar and I recorded it on my cell phone and sent it to me. Then, I just kept listening to it and going back to it and I played it for my producer and he was like, “You gotta put this on the record.” (CA) I’m sure you’ll be hearing this a lot, but “Excommunication” is the album I needed when I was 16. Has it dawned on you that you could save so many lives just by being yourself and putting this out there? (TG) It didn’t at first. I literally was just doing it so much for my own sanity. It wasn’t until I started putting out songs from the record slowly that I got that feedback and I’m just beyond

stoked that that’s one of the reactions — that it’s helping people or carving a space for people. That to me is a huge deal.

In the wake of the Mormon Church’s recent anti-gay policies, Glenn, who is also Mormon, said he wrote “manically.”

(CA) Where’s the feedback coming from? (TG) Mostly from fans on social media. I see it on Reddit. I see it from a lot of LGBTQ people and also just a lot of marginalized people in religion. So, it’s not just the gay community, but that’s meaning a lot to me because that’s the audience I intended it for. I’m glad that it’s being received by those types of people. (CA) This album will likely define a lot of coming-of-age moments for a lot of LGBT people. When you were going through your darkest moments, which artists and albums did you find yourself clinging to during your journey to self-discovery? Who did you turn to for musical salvation? (TG) Often it was The Smiths and Morrissey just because I looked at him as doing sexuality in his own way and I always clung to that idea that I didn’t want to be defined so much by orientation. Even Lady Gaga, during 2008 and 2009, when she was first coming onto the scene, was such a breath of fresh air. I remember obsessively watching any interview I could find on her when she first started doing press for “The Fame” and “The Fame Monster.” I felt validated as an artist and we hadn’t even made our first record as Neon Trees yet, but I just felt like, “Damn, hell yeah, thank you.” (CA) Does she know you feel this way about her? (TG) I told her briefly when I met her, but when you meet people you look up to — these icons — you don’t always get the

two-hour sit-down conversation. I also have trepidation when I meet people. I don’t want to come off as the needy fan who just wants a picture, so I don’t know ... maybe one day I’ll be able to. (CA) When a fan of your wants to express the same sentiment to you, how do you navigate that encounter? (TG) I honestly give a lot of time and space for that because I know how much it means to me and I know my experience with meeting certain celebrities in the past who I’ve looked up to. I know that it’s meant so much

GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016

(Photo by Meredith Truax)

to me when they give me their time. I try to give as much of myself to make sure people feel validated. (CA) What inspired the “Who the Fuck is Tyler Glenn?” shirt you’re wearing in the video for “Shameless”? (TG) It’s a riff on a shirt that The Stones used to wear. [Stones guitarist] Keith Richards used to wear a “Who the Fuck is Mick Jagger?” shirt when they fi rst started putting records out, but also, I’m sort of in a moment where I’m asking, “Who the fuck is Tyler Glenn?” I’m on the search for the meaning and purpose of life much more now. Now, I feel way more whole than I ever have because I feel like I’m being a gay man for the fi rst time even though I came out two years ago. I feel like I’m without fi lter — and I’m without a framework that never really had a space for me to begin with. Now, I’m just really free to exist and fi nd out just who I am and what I want in life and what I want my life to be and look like. (CA) What does it mean to you to be gay “without filter”? (TG) When I came out, I came out as gay and Mormon, and for about a year after that experience I tried to reconcile religion and continued to try to fit the square peg into the round hole. I think now I’m kind of rebuilding my own framework. I’m still trying to fit into a space that doesn’t really have any room for me, or people like me. I’m excited that I’m only 32, but at the same time I wish I had done that earlier.

I’ve always been worried: “How do I be a good Mormon?” “How do I be the right kind of gay guy?” Now, I don’t really feel like there’s one way in religion. I don’t feel like there’s one way in the gay community either. It’s way freer. Being able to hold hands with a guy that I’m seeing in public — I know that kind of sounds like baby steps, but I just feel so effortlessly comfortable in my skin, and honestly, it took me almost 32 years to get there. Where what usually occupied my


thoughts was my nature, now I don’t even think about it. It’s so nice to live unapologetically. (CA) Seeing as how bold and personal your solo debut is, where do you see yourself within Neon Trees going forward? Could you ever be this personal within the band? (TG) I don’t know. It’s definitely been on my mind. I’ve had convos with the band and they’ve been really healing, and some of the members of the band who are still Mormon are unsure of how we carry on. I have the same questions. For me, it’s completely possible because I love my band and I love what we’ve done, but I can’t go back to it in the same way. If I’m able to write freely and if they’re able to feel comfortable creating with me, then I think we might be able to make even cooler records. But I don’t know. I just can’t ever create anymore in a space where there’s a limitation. I wouldn’t say that Neon Trees is ever limiting, because for where I was in my life at the time it was completely as authentic as I could be, but I’m just not the same Tyler Glenn from even two or three years ago when we made our last record. (CA) You’re sending a lot of messages to a lot of people with this album. But what message do you hope to send to Mormons who’ve condemned you and other LGBT people? (TG) I want them to recognize that it’s not a tantrum and that there are thousands upon thousands of voiceless LGBT people within even just the Mormon community who feel like they can’t ask questions and can’t have doubts and can’t be themselves. I want to be able to give a microphone to those people. —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).▼


GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


Youth Leadership in the Trans Liberation Movement panel: This free, all-ages event will bring together San Diego community leaders to learn about transgender youth organizing in the community and ways adults can show up for transgender and gender non-conforming youth. 6:30– 8:30 p.m. Sunset Temple, 3911 Kansas St., North Park. Visit ‘Scream Queens Divas’: This week’s “Divas” kicks off Rich’s Halloween weekend and will feature Chad Michaels and Sonique from “Rupaul’s Drag Race.” Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. Rich’s San Diego, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit ‘Lizard Boy: The Musical’: Only a few performances remain for this unique original musical. Billed as an “indie-folkrock-concert-coming-of-agelove-story,” the production has garnered rave reviews. Read our theater review here: 8 p.m. Diversionary Theater, 4545 Park Blvd. #101, University Heights. Visit Official Atlantis Halloween — San Diego to Mexico cruise ‘Sail Away’ party: A chance to wish a “bon voyage” to those taking the Atlantis San Diego to Mexico cruise. Halloween attire encouraged. Music by DJ Kidd Madonny. 10 p.m. Rich’s San Diego, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


Pancake breakfast and ‘Save SDHS’ rally: An event to support ballot measure I. 10 a.m.–noon San Diego High School, 1405 Park Blvd., Balboa Park. Visit ‘Dusk: The Scare Before The Nightmare’: San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus (SDGMC) will host their fifth annual Halloween pre-party called “Dusk.”

It will feature an open bar, munchies, a costume contest hosted by Landa Plenty and more. Tickets are $20 in advance and $30 at the door. Proceeds benefit SDGMC’s community outreach. 6–10 p.m. 2961 First Ave., Hillcrest. Visit ‘Nightmare on Normal Street’: This Halloween street party features dancing, food trucks, a fright zone, live entertainment and an “American Idol” – style costume competition. Host cocktail hour from 6–7 p.m. for the first 300 guests. Tickets are $15 for general admission and $45 for a VIP pass. 6–11 p.m. Hillcrest Pride Flag, University Avenue and Normal Street, Hillcrest. Visit CarnEVIL: A Halloween party featuring DJ Dida, Circus Mafia performers, a fortuneteller and carnival goodies. Urban MO’s Blackout Lemonades for $5.25 include a carnival treat skewer. $8 cover after 9 p.m. Gossip Grill, 1220 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2e51PYq. Rich’s ‘Halloween Massive’: This event returns and promises to be bigger and better than ever with after hours until 4 a.m., an outdoor area with fully stocked bars, a $1500 costume contest and more. Music by DJ Taj and Nikno in main room and DJ K-Swift in front room. 9 p.m. Rich’s San Diego, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


2016 CicloSDias: This public event promotes active living and healthy communities. The “open street” celebration temporarily closes streets to cars for part of the day so that attendees may use them for physical activities such as bicycling, walking, jogging and dancing. This year’s CicloSDias will

highlight the neighborhoods of University Heights, North Park and City Heights with live music, shopping, food and more along the way. 10 a.m.–3 p.m. Visit Oktoberfest at The Rail: An Oktoberfest celebration with Oktober beers from Stone, Karl Strauss, AleSmith and many more breweries. Noon–6 p.m. The Rail, 3786 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit 10th anniversary screening of ‘Pans Labyrinth’: Cinepolis in La Costa (6941 El Camino Real) and Vista (25 Main St.) will host these Halloween-inspired screenings. There will be food and drink specials, movie-themed giveaways and more. 7 p.m. Visit ‘Hillcrest Hauntseeing & History Tour’: A candlelit tour that begins in front of Scripps Mercy Hospital and ends at the Hillcrest Pride Flag. Lanterns will be provided to everyone on this tour as you explore between six – nine haunted and historic buildings. Tour lasts two and a half hours. $20 in advance and $25 at time of tour. Visit bit. ly/2e5bkqi or call 619-432-5428.

Manic Monday House of Horror: This Halloween party will feature a “Monster Mash” of ’80s and ’90s music by Junior The Disco Punk. There will be a costume contest for cash and prizes and drink specials all night long. Doors open at 9 p.m. The Rail, 3796 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2e5h03z. Halloween Fright Night: Rich’s Halloween celebration will feature DJ Taj in the main room and DJ Moody Rudy in the front room; a $1,000 costume contest at midnight and more. 10 p.m.–2 a.m. Visit bit. ly/2e5jr6p.


‘$6 Tuesdays with Show tunes’: A weekly sing-along with show tunes from all eras and musical clips from TV, movie and stage productions from 5–10 p.m. All-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner for $6 and $6 drink specials (Urban MO’s Blackout Lemonades and Skyy Vodka cocktails) offered from 5 p.m. to closing. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 2 MONDAY,OCT.31–HALLOWEEN Trick-or-Treat on Maryland Street: A halfmile devoted to amazing trick-or-treating with interactive displays featuring Norbert the Dragon, Count Chocula and Frankenberry, The Bates Motel and more. 5–10 p.m. 4300 block of Maryland Street, University Heights. Visit Live music: This Halloween show will feature Rocket From the Crypt, The Creepy Creeps, Beehive & The Barracudas, Mrs. Magician, DJ Vaughn Avakian and DJ Claire. $25 – $30. 7–10 p.m. Lafayette Hotel, 2223 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit

Fostering Regional Economic Inclusion through Elimination of Bias: The presenter for this event by the Public Interest Advocacy Clinic will be Omar Passons, a North Park resident, thought leader in San Diego, vice president of community development and policy at the Jacobs Center for Neighborhood Innovation, a land use attorney, a craft beer aficionado and more. 5:30–7 p.m. Tentatively planned to be held at Mission Brewery 1441 L St., East Village. Visit bit. ly/2e5g0wq. Guys, Games and Grub: The name says it all. This popular monthly event returns after missing October, featuring time to socialize for men ages 21 and older. The fi rst


Art San Diego: A juried contemporary art show starts today featuring over 500 leading contemporary artists, museum exhibitions, art labs, talks and more. Alexander Salazar Fine Art will be one of the exhibitors at this year’s event, which continues through Sunday, Nov. 6. Balboa Park, 2145 Park Blvd. Visit Suzanne Westenhoefer ‘Live and Hilarious’: This lesbian icon brings her candid comedy to MA4 featuring adult content. $25 reserved seating with $15 per person food/drink minimum. Doors at 6 p.m. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


Pride Festival in Palm Springs: This weekend-long event is one of the largest gatherings of the LGBT community in Palm Springs. Continues through Sunday, Nov. 6. Visit bit. ly/2ezzfTW. 12th annual Chocolate & Vino: Hosted by the Young Professionals Committee of Big Brothers & Big Sisters of San Diego County, this event will feature 50 local vendors serving wine, spirits, food, dessert and chocolate samples. Tickets are $50 in advance and include unlimited tastings. 6–9 p.m. University Club Atop Symphony Towers, 750 B St., Floor 34, Downtown. Visit


solution on page 16


ACROSS 1 Opening 6 Dorian Gray creator Wilde 11 1996 VP candidate Jack 15 Pink, for one 16 “___ Family” 17 Former netman Nastase 18 White house without Obama 19 Party in Auden's land 20 Fruity drink 21 Start of a “confession” 24 Maxima maker 26 Like much of Shakespeare’s verse 27 Blind rage 28 “The Name of the Rose” writer 29 Frasier brother 31 Use Fisher & Sons 33 Pride places 35 Actor Mineo 36 Police actions at Stonewall 38 End of the “confession” 41 Mardi Gras event 44 Head, slangily 45 Say whether you’re coming

Wednesday of the month event includes pizza, beer, wine, soft drinks, games, prizes and more. There is also a live trivia game hosted each month by John Lockhart starting at 6:30 p.m. A $5 suggested donation for attending GGG goes toward men’s programming at The Center. Food and drink items are $1 each. 6 p.m. San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit

49 Banish from a flat 50 Frank behind the scenes 52 Benjamin Hoff ’s “The ___ of Pooh” 53 T. Perry’s title 54 Rims 57 Pass on 59 Queen singer and source of the “confession” 62 Spy plane or rock band 63 Bridge bid, briefly 64 Goes down in defeat 67 Sexual partners, crudely 68 Kirsten of “Spider-Man” 69 LuPone Broadway role 70 Maker of some fruit-flavored ice cream 71 Rob of “Melrose Place” 72 Like a muscle Mary’s abs

1 Ursula Le Guin’s field, with “fi” 2 Dress (up) 3 “Bastard Out of Carolina” author Dorothy 4 Inn offerings 5 Condom used at Southern Cal? 6 Mail carriers at Hogwarts 7 Strap for B&D in a car? 8 Conspiratorial groups 9 It arouses two body openings 10 The “Golden Girls” episode 11 Furry fruit 12 Brings out 13 Tower of Rumi’s religion 14 They strip 22 Not in parts, to a gay men’s choir 23 Drag queen’s mini, e.g. 24 Composer Rorem 25 Dick Button’s milieu 30 Bringing up the rear 32 Not even once, to Whitman 34 Risky business, briefly 36 “My kingdom for ___!” (bottom’s cry?) 37 Authoritative rule

39 Did Rex Reed’s job 40 Kind of 41 Scent for a fem 42 What straight guys did with their eyes in the shower room 43 Fall in 46 Doesn’t come out 47 Alternate sp. 48 Honey holder 50 Rubber ___ 51 Lucky charm 55 Computer part 56 Family group 58 City in the Osmonds’ home state 60 Things to connect 61 Goes to seed 65 Hot time for Bertrand Delanoe 66 End of the definition

GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s ‘Light The Night Walk’: Participants of all ages form fundraising teams and enjoy an evening of fun and inspiration as they walk along a two-mile route. Walkers can carry colored lanterns to signify their connection to the cause — red for friends and supporters, white for cancer patients and survivors, and gold for a lost loved one. The walk funds research to find cures and ensure access to treatments for all blood cancer patients. 4:30 p.m. Petco Park, 100 Park Blvd., East Village. For more information or to register for this event, visit lightthenight. org/sd. DJ Kurty returns: It has been two months since Kurty has spun songs for the energetic crowds who follow her, due to the recent loss of her brother to cancer. She’s returning to headline tonight at Rich’s and it will be her only performance before mid-December. Rich’s San Diego, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest.


San Diego Vintage Flea Market: Featuring over 90 vendors with vintage wares, clothing, furniture, knickknacks and more. Free admission. 9 a.m.–3 p.m. Parking lot behind The Observatory North Park, 2891 University Ave., North Park. Visit ‘The Harvest Show’: A joint venture between Imperial Court de San Diego Reign XLIV and The San Diego Cruisers MC, this event will feature entertainment, raffles, Jell-O shots, an auction and more. Suggested donation $7 or a new unwrapped toy or blanket. Funds raised will ensure the success of the 28th annual Scott Carlson Thanksgiving Community Dinner. 3–7 p.m. Redwing Bar and Grill, 4012 30th St., North Park. Visit bit. ly/2ezEmDG. ‘Art from the Heart’: A garden art show and auction featuring pieces donated by local artists, a wine reception and entertainment. A $10 donation is requested at the door. Proceeds will benefit Las Memorias, an HIV/ AIDS hospice in Tijuana, Mexico. 2–6 p.m., 5100 Memorial Drive, La Mesa. For more information


Trashy Daddy Disco: Happy hour all night long plus throwback disco music and videos. 6 p.m.–close. Urban MO’s 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2dFHjS6.


‘Impulse the Vote’: Wear your “I Voted” sticker or bring your absentee stub for a hosted bar from 6:30–9:30 p.m. and watch the election night results come in. The Center’s Young Professionals Council is also partnering with Impulse for an election costume contest with surprises and prizes. Impulse San Diego, 3940 Fourth Ave., #150, Hillcrest. Visit


Bitchy Bingo: Hosted by Kiki and Ophelia every Wednesday. Play bingo for goodies and prizes and enjoy an outrageous drag show. No cover. $5 frozen cosmos. 7–10 p.m. Lips, 3036 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit


Veterans Day Big Bear Lesbian Getaway: A threeday getaway organized by the group Lesbian Getaways with availability for couples and singles at a historic lodge in Big Bear. Area activities include: hiking, a zipline tour, jet skiing, and more. International Travel House Big Bear Mountain Adventure Lodge, 657 Modoc Drive, Big Bear Lake. Visit The Benjamin F. Dillingham, III & Bridget Wilson LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor 2016 Induction Ceremony: Always held before Veterans Day, this event will include a brief program, including the San Diego Women’s Chorus, members of the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus, distinguished speakers, celebration of 11 inductees and remarks from honorees in attendance. Light refreshments will be served. 6–7:30 p.m. San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit or contact Ben Cartwright at or 619-692-2077 ext. 106.

—Compiled by Jen Van Tieghem. Email calendar items to morgan@sdcnn. com or▼



GAY SAN DIEGO Oct. 28 – Nov. 10, 2016


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