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Volume 7 Issue 20 Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016

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Analysis: Where is our Pride?


Morgan M. Hurley | Editor

Pouring martinis and more

q INTERVIEW (l to r) Eric Arts and “Big Mike” Phillips have launched a new business that will have you wearing clothing that is both “fun to wear” and gives back to the community with every purchase. (Courtesy Arts and Phillips)

Hearts on your sleeve Well ... hello Dolly!


A 'globally ambitious' menu


The broker of marriage equality

Index Community Voices .........….4 Opinion........................6 News Briefs........................9 Theater..........................11 Calendar......................18

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Local personalities launch philanthropic venture Morgan M. Hurley | Editor

Gather together some great photography, the work of a few emerging artists, toss in a number of local charities, add a community activist who knows everybody in town and another guy with a technology and textile background, mix it all up with a whole lot of fun … and what do you get? Fund2Wear: a new socially-conscious, print-ondemand apparel company that practices both fun and philanthropy.

Founded in April by Mike “Big Mike” Phillips and Eric Arts, Fund2Wear aims to put a festive shirt on your back and a few dollars in several different pockets at the same time. The two men originally met through mutual friends back in 1999, when Arts, a Dallas native, first moved to San Diego seeking greener pastures outside of Texas. Things didn’t go as planned and Arts returned home in 2003. Earlier this year he returned to America’s Finest City, and ran into Phillips again while he was tending bar at Jimmy Carter’s. The two struck up a conversation about the challenges of making a living and began exploring how they could help one another. Phillips,

San Diego Pride has had its ups and downs in recent years, with a few serious downs but mostly “hitting it out of the park” ups. This current year was definitely one of those ups, with the weekend’s festivities bouncing back after torrential downpours all but ruined the weekend in 2015. Pride organizers said 2016 had “record numbers” in attendance and at the cash registers. So it was quite shocking to many in the community when barely a month after that very successful Pride, Executive Director Stephen Whitburn was ousted by the organization’s board of directors. Many may remember the 2010 staff walk out and resulting implosion of the board, which started because the board chair at the time was giving himself a $5,000 stipend “for his time and services” directly out of the Pride coffers. When then executive director Ron deHarte learned about it, he balked, causing his immediate firing by the then four-person board. It is interesting to note that deHarte, who then moved to the Coachella Valley soon after his firing, has since made Palm Springs Pride — this year taking place Nov. 4–6 — one of the jewels of California’s Pride season. Back in 2010, an open letter from

see Fund2Wear, pg 20

see SD Pride, pg 15

Azalea Park: Still gay after all these years By Catherine Spearnak In 1981, Linda Pennington and her husband moved to Azalea Park, and the City Heights neighborhood would never be the same. “In my mind, I could see that we needed to clean the canyons up,” said Pennington, now widely known as the “Queen of Azalea Park.” A group of residents got together, Pennington said, and tried to decide what to do about their neighborhood, with its beautiful canyon views but so much trash. Soon they got free trashcans from I Love a Clean San Diego and began cleaning out the canyons. “This whole group really transformed the neighborhood,” she said. But there was still the problem of renovating the many downtrodden homes that Pennington said had “great bones” but were basically a mess. She also noted that during those early years, the canyon behind her house on Tuberose Street was set on fire twice, and by 1993, that had set a fire under her to effect change. One woman in the neighborhood group said, “We need to get some of those gays in here to dress up the houses,” and Pennington was off. She organized a drive in San Diego’s LGBT community to mobilize gay people to learn about and live in Azalea Park. The community sponsored a float in the annual Gay Pride Parade, and at the festival — the party at the end of the parade — they organized a

see Azalea Park, pg 2

The rundown City Heights neighborhood called Azalea Park was transformed by gays in the 1990s and many still call the enclave home. (Courtesy

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AZALEA PARK booth with real estate information about Azalea Park. The following weekend, the Azalea Park Neighborhood Association sponsored a caravan so potential buyers could see Azalea Park. JP Schuiteman was on that caravan in 1994. Schuiteman, a realtor, and his partner at the time Darryl Thompson, a letter carrier, bought a home with a spectacular canyon view that very day for “$100,000 and change,” Schuiteman said. Today he estimates the property is worth about $400,000. Though he and Thompson have separated, Schuiteman said he would never sell the house. He said the two wanted to live in Azalea Park to be around other gay people and especially enjoy the canyon views. “I know dozens of people throughout this neighborhood,” he said. “It’s really neighborly. There’s lots of communication. You really don’t find that in other neighborhoods.” Jim Martin and his husband Ricardo Moran moved into their Poplar Street home six years ago. They purchased the property for $200,000 and it is now worth between $350,000 and $400,000, Martin said. The couple put about $50,000 worth of cash remodeling the home and another $50,000 worth of what Martin calls “sweat equity” to bring it up to its current condition. Martin said that in 1993, his husband read an article in the Los

(top) Jim Moore’s property on Poplar Street in Azalea Park when he bought it and (right) the same yard after improvement; (below) Moore works to clean up palm fronds from his yard. (Courtesy Jim Moore) Angeles Times about a crazy neighborhood called Azalea Park that was recruiting gays to live there. About 10 years later, Martin had moved to San Diego from Indiana. That summer while at the San Diego Pride parade, Martin saw people holding signs on the Azalea Park float that read, “What a Difference a Gay Makes,” and “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” Ironically, the couple ended up touring and moving to Azalea

Park. “We’ve been very involved ever since we moved in,” he said, adding that his husband was even president of the Azalea Park Neighborhood Association. “There are always a lot of little projects going on in the neighborhood.” Pennington, who sat in the association’s booth at the San Diego Pride Festival in Balboa Park recruiting gays to live

in Azalea Park for 17 straight years, said the neighborhood is now a hot commodity. “As long as the houses are priced right, they move in less than a week,” she said. “There have been so many people move in and rehab the houses.” And it’s no longer just gays, she said. “So many great people are moving in; families, singles, professionals,” Pennington said.

“If they see a neighborhood that’s pleasant, they’ll move in.” Jake Banfield-Weir and his wife Brandie White fit the bill. The couple moved in last February and put down an offer the day they saw the $410,000 house, which included a huge backyard that extends into the canyon. The couple had never heard of Azalea Park before moving there. “After living in basically a concrete box in North Park for the last few years, we were ready for this,” said Banfield-Weir, an administrator at the La Jolla Institute for Allergy and Immunology. White, a graduate student at San Diego State, said she can ride her bike to school from their new neighborhood. “I really like the walkability here and I think the architecture is amazing,” Banfield-Wier said. “The outdoors and the trees are amazing, too. We’re outside all the time.” In 35 years, the neighborhood — nestled between canyons that fall just east of where the 15 and the 805 freeways intersect and due west of Fairmount Avenue — has been transformed. “I don’t want to take credit for starting the whole thing because there have always been people who cared,” the Queen of Azalea Park said. To learn more about the neighborhood’s history and current life in Azalea Park, visit —Catherine Spearnak is a San Diego-based freelance writer. She can be reached at catherine.


GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


‘Fierce, determined and focused’ Gay rights documentary to make local debut at SDIFF By Margie M. Palmer The San Diego International Film Festival is finally upon us and this year, the festival is featuring an LGBT track that includes the newly released, must-see gay rights movement documentary, “Political Animals,” which is also part of their “Social Justice track.” has described the film as the “must-see documentary of 2016 for every feminist.” “Political Animals” tells the story about the LGBTQ civil rights struggle through the eyes of four openly-gay state representatives elected in California: Carole Migden (Assembly 1996-2002; Senate 2004-2008); Sheila Kuehl (Assembly 1994-2000; Senate 2000-2008); Jackie Goldberg (Assembly 2000-2006); and Christine Kehoe (Assembly 2000-2004; Senate 2004-2012). The filmmakers describe the women as being “fierce, determined, focused and passionate” — having the courage and foresight to start the work of legal rights of the LGBT community, which ultimately helped pave the way for other states across the nation. Bills that Midgen, Goldberg, Kuehl and Kehoe authored included the first domestic partnership registry enacted by a legislature, the first anti-bullying bill protecting gay students and many more. It was a hard fight and can be

Jackie Goldberg, former state assemblywoman and senator, speaks at a rally for LGBT rights. Goldberg is profiled in "Political Animals." (Courtesy SDIFF)

New documentary “Political Animals” chronicles the contentious fight that four lesbian elected state officials, including Christine Kehoe, struggled through to assure LGBT Californians of their basic rights. (Courtesy SDIFF) described as one that was filled with surprisingly heated debates and hateful insults hurled by opponents. “The story is really about the four of us together and that special period of time when four open, lesbian political activists had the opportunity to advance LGBT civil rights at the California state level,” said former state Assemblymember and Senator Kehoe. “A lot of the groundbreaking work was done early on and in the 1990s, when the struggle was to win as many protections for LGBTQ Californians and their families as possible. There were big bills and small bills; there were bills that

required employers offer equal insurance to same-sex couples and there were a lot of [child] custody bills that went through to protect gay families.” Forging the pathway wasn’t easy, she said. “The brilliance in the documentary, ‘Political Animals’ is that you saw the arguments on the Assembly floor,” said Tonya Mantooth, the festival’s executive and artistic director. “There was no editorial, you were simply witnessing the bias and close-minded thinking first hand. I think that was what was most shocking. Migden, Kehoe, Kuehl and Goldberg made miracles happen but everyone

needs to see how long it took for them to change those laws and to appreciate how difficult the road was. “Millennials need to see this film so they are reminded that it hasn’t been that long since the laws have changed and we have to be ever vigilant,” she said. Kehoe explained that in the early years, when it was just Midgen and Kuehl in the assembly, they were subjected to “vile denunciations on the floor and they were met with openly hostile, biased language against them both personally and against all of LGBTQ California.” In one scene, an opponent of Assembly Bill 25 (2001) — which proposed to grant registered domestic partners in California just a handful of some of the more important state benefits that were automatically granted to oppositesex married couples — is heard

arguing that LGBTQ persons “lead the most dangerous lifestyle in America, far worse than smoking or driving without seatbelts.” The lies and propaganda were hard to swallow. “The far-right tended to dominate some of the social issues within gay rights issues,” Kehoe said. “They were virulent, not embarrassed and they did not think they were overreaching. They pulled no punches and they suggested that adult gays were predators. This was shocking, coming from the San Diego City Council, where I had served for seven years. Yes, there were more conservative members than me but I was not used to being subjected to this type of language from my colleagues.” Kehoe said she hopes people come and see the movie because

see Film Festival, pg 17



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016

‘Auntie Helen’s 2.0’ ready to launch Profiles in Advocacy Ian Morton Auntie Helen’s Community Thrift is poised to make an impact. From its grassroots beginnings, founded in 1988 by Gary Cheatham to address a very specific need in the HIV/AIDS community, 2016 sees a new focus and a new dedication to all individuals living with or at risk for HIV infection in San Diego County. When Auntie Helen’s Fluff and Fold was originally founded, the need for laundry services for people living with HIV — or, at that time, dying from AIDS — was a very real thing. In those dark days, individuals truly suffering the ravages of AIDS were denied this very basic service by friends and family and often forced to live in their own filth. There was so much misinformation as to how HIV could be spread that those most impacted by the disease became that generation’s “untouchables.” It was also during this time that we saw the truly heroic among us rise to the occasion and support those afflicted and outcast, and Cheatham was one of those heroes. The plan was simple; do laundry for those living with HIV who could not do for themselves. The need, Gary soon found, was profound and pervasive. Auntie Helen’s resale shop was then opened to help fund the cost for

the purchase of washers, dryers, and the supplies needed to do laundry for this growing population. Today, we talk about living with HIV, not dying from AIDS, and it is a very different landscape. Many service providers and programs, founded in the 1980s and ’90s, are starting to change to reflect the current needs of the community. In 2015, Auntie Helen’s had to take a hard look at itself. It was a dire time for the organization; there was approximately $30 in their bank account and it seemed it might be the end. The existing board members and volunteers needed to make a decision: how to maintain Auntie Helen’s and make the organization relevant to the changing needs of the HIV community. A new board president — David Turner — was elected and a vision of Auntie Helen’s that truly belonged to the full community was conceived. Turner became the executive director in late 2015 and embarked on a mission that will soon come to fruition. “We are excited about our second location at 4102 El Cajon Blvd.,” Turner said. “We will have a hip boutique-like thrift store with furniture on the first floor and clothing and accessories on the second. “We as an organization feel it is still relevant to keep the spotlight on HIV/AIDS services needed in San Diego County and 100 percent of our net proceeds go back to the community,” he

continued. “It is my vision of the organization to make Auntie Helen’s one of the largest funders of HIV/AIDS organizations in San Diego County.” Along with this vision was a commitment by the new board to serve a broad scope of the San Diego County HIV community with their proceeds, and in 2015, Auntie Helen’s became a member of the San Diego HIV Funding Collaborative (HFC), convened at San Diego Human Dignity Foundation. The HFC is one of 13 remaining collaboratives in the U.S., and one of very few funding sources specifically earmarked for HIV services in San Diego. In 2016, over $250,000 was funded through grants and sponsorships for HIV/AIDS support, and Auntie Helen’s wants to see that number more than double in the future. A key to fulfilling this goal is the new 10,000-square-foot location that will be opening in City Heights in October. This “flagship location” will allow for a processing center and the sale of larger furnishing items, which will in turn create higher proceeds to be granted out to the community. They will also step up their game with a virtual storefront for higher-ticket items and truck pick-up and delivery for donated goods and larger purchased items. Much like Revivals in the Palm Springs area supports Desert AIDS Project, Auntie Helen’s looks to become an increasingly

New director of operations Brendan McFarland holds a banner advertising Auntie Helen’s upcoming grand opening celebration at a new location. (Photo by Big Mike) integral part of the San Diego HIV community. In keeping with this model, they are also seeking enthusiastic volunteers to help make this effort a success. There will be many front and back of the store positions available to accommodate a broad range of skills and abilities. Volunteer coordinator, Jason Navarro, chatted a bit about their “dream team.”


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“In developing a program that will continue to support our community’s needs, we are tasking ourselves with three specific goals that we hope our volunteers will achieve in their experience with Auntie Helen’s,” Navarro said. “These goals are focused on volunteers becoming engaged, empowered and increasingly more aware of the present needs in our HIV/AIDS community in San Diego. Every person is crucial; from our cashier, to our donation processors and merchandisers — there is a place for everyone at Auntie Helen’s!” I closed out my discussion with Director of Operations Brendan McFarland, who said he looks forward to this endeavor and working alongside a childhood friend. “It has been exciting to watch the vision for growth and expansion continue to manifest itself throughout this past year,” McFarland said. “I have been best friends with David Turner since we were children and it makes me smile seeing him love what he’s doing and the beautiful team of staff and volunteers that make it all possible. “One of the main appeals is how we are helping to fund so many organizations that provide services to the community, through our partnership with the Human Dignity Foundation,” McFarland continued. “That’s what it’s all about for me ... doing whatever we can, however we can, to provide as much as we can to those who need it!” On Oct. 21, you can join Auntie Helen’s for the grand opening of their new location at 4102 El Cajon Blvd., or schedule donation pick up by calling 619501-0209 or emailing pickup@ —Ian D. Morton is s freelance grant writer and the producer of Y.E.S. San Diego, an LGBTQ youth empowerment conference. To nominate an individual or nonprofit for this column, please email the information to ian@

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Can you be happy for someone else? Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel There’s a word in Buddhism, “muditã,” which means “celebrating the success of others.” The first time I heard it, at a meditation retreat in Northern California, I wondered, “Why is the teacher talking about this? What does this have to do with feeling calm and peaceful?” “The enemy of muditã is resentment,” the teacher explained. “Muditã is the medicine for the poisons of jealousy, envy and derision. Muditã heals the cruel urge to stomp on someone else’s happiness.” Oh, now I get it. They were talking about it because it’s really hard to do. Muditã is the opposite of “schadenfreude” — one of those words that you see in fancy magazines like The New Yorker but aren’t sure what they mean — which means, “taking pleasure in the misfortune of others.” Oh yeah, that I’m familiar with. I admit that, sometimes, revenge feels pretty damned good. We all know how to do that. But how do you not hate — or envy — other men and women who seem happier, more successful, and more confident than you are? If you believe in what I call “the giant pie theory,” you think that all the good stuff in the world — money, fame, good looks and happiness — is like a great big pie and there’s only so much for anyone. If you have more good fortune than I do, then there’s less for me. In other words, there’s only so much good stuff to go around, and you’d better not take some of mine, ’cause I want it! If you want to know where you stand on this, just notice the next time you see someone really beautiful, happy and successful. Can you celebrate their happiness, or do you hate them? When you walk down the street and see a couple in love, do you say, “Good for them!” or “Why can’t I have that?” This muditã stuff is not for the

timid. In my experience, sometimes it’s harder than hell to love the beautiful, the rich and the successful among us. So why are Buddhists recommending this stuff? Or, as a friend of mine might put it, “What’s in this for me?” A lot, as it turns out. Buddhists are no fools. They’ve been around for thousands of years. If this stuff didn’t work, I think someone would have figured it out by now. Being happy for someone else brings you happiness. It’s like when you look at an adorable baby or cute puppy, you don’t hate the baby or puppy, do you? No, you enjoy their beauty and happiness and that makes you feel good. Right? I let go of the “giant pie theory” a long time ago, because this muditã stuff works. I’ve been practicing it for a while now and the secret is to start small. Begin being happy for things that are easy: babies, dogs and cats, beautiful flowers and trees, cloud formations, or colors that please you. You’re learning the basics here, building up your muditã “muscles.” Don’t start with people; they’re usually the hardest. Once you’ve done this for a little while, you can begin to be happy for people when it’s relatively easy; start with people you like. Eventually, work your way to neutral people, those folks you don’t have strong feelings about. Only once you’ve gotten really good at this should you even consider being happy for people you don’t like. That’s the final stage and not for beginners. Even Buddhist meditation teachers admit this is a hard one (for them too). It takes some time and effort, but it makes your life so much better. Being a bitter old hater isn’t much fun (I know; I’m 63 and I’ve tried it). When we hate on someone who we perceive to be more “together” than we are, we’re really just expressing the negative feelings we have about our own careers, bodies or relationships. If hating made you happy, many of us would be like a human version of Disneyland: “the happiest person on earth.” In reality, hating makes you miserable. It drags you down, while the person you are hating is probably out having a good time, oblivious to your evil eye. Instead, try a little muditã and see what happens; you have only your bitterness to lose. —Michael Kimmel can be reached at 619-955-3311 or visit

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


Racial justice is an LGBTQ issue Back Out with Benny Ben Cartwright As I began to write this column on Tuesday, I saw the news on social media of yet another person shot by a police officer. Every time this happens (and it happens more than we even know), my heart sinks. And this time, the shooting was very close to home in El Cajon, California, just a 10-minute drive east of San Diego. Ironically, my original plan for this column was to write about racial justice and delve into why I, as a white person, should start working together with other white folks to make changes within the racist system we live in and benefit from. I recently read a blog post on, titled, “9 Things White People Can Do To Fight Racism Now,” that really hit home. “White people, I’m talking to you. THIS. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM. TO. FIX. Y’all got some work to do, because this system that y’all keep on privileging from, you’ve got to help us dismantle it. Because those of us who are Black and Brown. We have tried. You created this robot and it is yours to deactivate. My skinfolk don’t have the passcode. This is your monster to slay.” That statement really woke me up. (Interesting side note: My personal laptop was out of service

this week so I wrote this column on a public computer terminal and when I tried to open the blog post again to reference it, the browser had blocked it for “questionable content.”) I’ve done my best to be an ally to the racial justice movement for a long time, but reading that statement really made me think about how exhausted my friends of color are. They are exhausted from living in this system everyday, having to explain themselves, having to pretend like they are amused by “innocent” racist jokes and having to be the ones bearing the weight of the fight against the system we live in. Enough is enough. As the blog post said, we white people created this problem and we are the only ones who can fix it. When the news of the El Cajon shooting came through and it was reported that yet another black man had been shot, of course I began to see a slew of white folks on social media post the usual. “Well let’s not jump to conclusions until we see more information. There’s more that we must not know,” or “Just follow the police’s orders and you won’t get shot.” To the people who make those kinds of statements, enough is enough. How much more information do they need? We know that black and brown people are being killed every single day on the streets of the United States of America

and there is something wrong with that. Sure, there might be more to the police report than we know at the time, but to me, that doesn’t matter. What matters to me is the excessive use of force against people of color that happens every day at much greater rates than it does to us white people. And it’s so easy for a white person to say those words above because it’s very unlikely a white person will be shot at anyway. It’s just not that easy for people of color in America. And this isn’t just about the police. I have great respect for our police and am proud to have worked closely with police for years to ensure that they are sensitive to our LGBTQ communities. But police are human, too, and are a part of the racist system we all live in. I often hear from white friends, “What do you mean the racist system we live in? There are legal protections for people of all ethnic and racial backgrounds! Stop making this about color, Benny, I don’t see color!” The problem is that many white people don’t know what racism looks like. It doesn’t have to show its ugly head only in the form of people using derogatory words, or very open displays, like burning a cross, or the white sheets of the KKK. Racism is built into the systems we live in, whether there are laws that say it’s OK or not. It is built into our psyches and ignoring it and saying

see Benny, pg 19

events attheCenter Wednesday, Oct. 5

tuesday, Oct. 4

Community Food Bank 9-10:30 am, the Center The San Diego LGBT Community Center hosts a distribution site once a month for the Community Cares Project of the San Diego Food Bank. On the first Tuesday of every month, visit The Center’s parking lot for emergency food. For more information, visit the San Diego Food Bank website at

tuesday, Oct. 4

Bi Coming Out Group 7-8:30 pm, the Center

5:30-7 pm, the Center Looking for more info about the new senior housing development? Be sure to attend the next information session at The Center. For more information contact Larue Fields at or 619.692.2077 x205. Visit the FAQ page at current-projects/north-park-seniors.

Saturday, Oct. 15

Join The Center’s discussion group on bisexuality on the third Wednesday of every month. (PLEASE NOTE: the Bi Coming Out Group meets on a different night this month – Tuesday, Oct. 4 at 7pm.) It’s a welcoming space to share your experiences, ask questions, discuss community issues and meet like-minded people. This group is open to all persons who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to more than one gender. For more information, contact aaron heier at The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 Twitter: @LGBTCenter

Senior housing Informational Session

transgender Community Picnic 11 am - 3 pm, Balboa Park Join us for the annual transgender community picnic. All are invited to Balboa Park for a potluck style picnic – so bring something to share! For more information, contact Connor at or 619.692.2077 x109.



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016

Letters Food for thought

[Ref: “Dining review: The quirkiest café on earth,” Vol. 7, Issue 19, or online at] Thanks for the heads up. Now I know to avoid this restaurant. Though I’m sure I would have lost my appetite anyway after seeing all the Trump memorabilia. —Mike, via

Cheers for alma mater

[Ref: “SDSU named top school for LGBT students,” Vol. 7, Issue 19, or online at] Great story! As I was quoted above, I truly am proud of how far SDSU has come. —Ben Cartwright, via

Love wins

[Ref: “Labor of love,” Vol. 7, Issue 19, or online at]

Loved reading your article and hearing of your success! All my best wishes to you! —Helen Metzger, via

Guest Editorial

No blame, no shame Raising HIV awareness among Latinos Oriol R. Gutierrez Jr. | Positive Thoughts I graduated college in 1992, the same year I tested HIVpositive. Sometime in the late ’90s, I reconnected with a college friend. He was actually a friend with benefits, so I was quite happy when he tracked me down, which wasn’t that easy back then, at least compared with today. He invited me to a nice dinner in Chelsea, which was becoming the happening place in New York City for LGBTs. (Hell’s Kitchen now has that distinction.) His intentions seemed to be more than two friends catching up. It turns out, I wasn’t off the mark. He had recently broken up with a boyfriend. We were all smiles by dessert, but then he became awkwardly silent. “I have to ask you,” he said. “Are you HIV-positive?” I said yes. He said, “I knew it!” I said, “What do you mean you knew it?” He said, “Well, come on, we both know what I mean.” Then I became furiously silent. Finally I asked, “Because I’m a slut?” Breaking the tension with EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Ken Williams, x102 Jeff Clemetson, x119 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi Charlene Baldridge Benny Cartwright David Dixon Lambda Archives Staff Michael Kimmel Ian Morton Margie M. Palmer Frank Sabatini Jr. Catherine Spearnak

a smile and a squeeze of my hand, he looked me in the eyes and said, “That’s why I tracked you down!” We laughed and moved on, but between his hypochondria and my HIV it was clear that we weren’t going to be a couple. Instead, we became close friends with some minor benefits along the way as he became more educated about the virus. We’re still good friends, but those benefits expired a while ago, which is just fine. Although I’ve long since forgiven him, I often use this memory as a touchstone. Even with such a wealth of affection between us, my dear friend couldn’t see past his assumptions. His sexual appetite was no different than mine I eventually confirmed, but nonetheless, as a white gay man, he assumed that I, as a Latino gay man, was naturally more sexual than him. And there it is, this doubleedged sword of a myth. Just as black men have to contend with the myth of their endowments, Latinos have to counter the myth of our libidos. I admit the Don Juan persona can come in handy on occasion, but WEB & SOCIAL MEDIA Jen Van Tieghem, x118 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

the price over time for using it is quite high. Case in point: When citing these statistics — if current trends in U.S. HIV rates continue, one in two black men who have sex with men (MSM) and one in four Latino MSM will get HIV in their lifetimes — what often follows is a train of thought among too many people that blames and shames. Studies show that MSM of color aren’t more sexual or taking more risks than white MSM, and lack of access to health care explains only part of those stats. Another factor is that the sexual networks of many MSM of color only include other MSM of color. There is a measure of choice in that fact. However, prejudice from white MSM, no matter how benign, is also at work. That is an uncomfortable truth, but it’s not too difficult to see just by browsing posts on dating apps and sites that clearly rule out certain racial or ethnic identities. Such sweeping categorical rejections are all too common. I know many of you are saying to yourselves, “I like what I like.” I agree, in general. I, too, like what I like. That said, if I don’t find myself attracted to someone, I still take a moment to question why that is. I encourage you to do the same. You may be missing out by sticking to your predetermined likes. ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962


WEB DESIGN Kim Espinoza

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DISTRIBUTION Gay San Diego is distributed free every other Friday of the month. COPYRIGHT 2016. All rights reserved.

ADVERTISING CONSULTANTS Lisa Hamel, x107 Andrew Bagley, x106 Sloan Gomez, x104 Lionel Talaro, x113 Todd Zukowski, x106

PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951

Of course, no matter what our backgrounds are, we are all responsible for own behaviors. Part of taking responsibility is becoming knowledgeable, which is what annual awareness days are supposed to support. This column in particular is in support of National Latinx AIDS Awareness Day (NLAAD), which is Oct. 15. This is the first year that “Latinx” is in the official NLAAD title, replacing “Latino.” Latinx (pronounced “La-teen-ex”) is a gender-neutral alternative to Latino and Latina. The Latino Commission on AIDS coordinates the NLAAD campaign, but groups across the country conduct local NLAAD events. According to the NLAAD website, since the awareness day was established in 2003, there are now about 450 partners that organize more than 150 related events nationwide. To find an event near you, please go to or Twitter @nlaad or Facebook @OfficialNLAAD for more information. —Oriol R. Gutierrez Jr. is the editor-in-chief of POZ magazine. Find him on Twitter @oriolgutierrez. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body, and Q Syndicate, the LGBT wire service. Visit their websites —, positivelyaware. com, and — for the latest updates on HIV/ AIDS. t

Keeping up with Boy George

[Ref: “Interview: Boy George talks about getting clean …” Vol. 2, Issue 6, or online at] Boy George has been a huge blessing to me since my nieces' and grandnieces' tragic death. It is a comfort to read about his life. And true meaning of life. Thank you. —Sylvana, via gay-sd.comt

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GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016




GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016

Life is a cabaret

Martinis pours live entertainment By David Dixon One of the most popular venues located in Hillcrest is Martinis Above Fourth Table + Stage (MA4). The “cabaret supper club” features tasty food, delicious drinks and a variety of performers every night of the week. While Martinis has been around since 2004, the original owners stepped down in 2011, when new proprietors took over the space. Co-owners Jim Simpson and Doru Tifui, and entertainment and marketing director, Devon Neubauer, have been responsible for the uptick in high quality weekly events. Since they joined forces, artists ranging from Molly Ringwald, Melinda Doolittle from “American Idol,” and Tony Award-winner Daisy Eagan have all stopped by MA4. The venue has a combination of non-ticketed live entertainment, such as their MA4 Live! segments with Ria Carey and Don. L., Carole Curtis, Janice Edwards and Nathan Fry, and Tori Roze and the Hot Mess, among others; ticketed live performances, generally on Thursdays, featuring cabaret style performers such as Ringwald; and other special events, like Babette’s Bingo, scheduled throughout the month. All performances require a $15 food or drink minimum per person. While live entertainment was always featured before the new

management took over, there has been even more of a focus in the last several years. Neubauer’s experience with entertainment started long before he began at Martinis, with time spent at The Old Globe, a managerial role at Spreckels Theatre and various other stints building cabaret spaces. “We put in a stage and created a basic showroom,” Neubauer said of the transformation of Martinis into a supper club. “We reached out to talent and people we know from all over the world.” Neubauer said his responsibilities keep him extremely busy. “I handle all the behind-thescene aspects from sourcing out acts, booking, contracting, marketing, and dealing with agents,” he said. “Most artists say this is one of their favorite places to perform at, because of what we do to make their experiences unique.” In October, several LGBT performers are scheduled to perform on the Martinis stage. Oct. 6, Paige Turner (the creation of Daniel Frank Kelley), had planned to put on a comedic solo show called, “Confessions of an Un-Natural Blonde.” Editor’s note: We learned just before press time that Paige Turner has since had to cancel. Returning to California Oct. 13, is New York singer-songwriter, Jimmy James. Presenting a tribute night to singers, including Judy Garland, Barbara Streisand and


Elvis Presley, James will bring together an evening called, “Impressionism.” Originally known for impersonating Marilyn Monroe, James is now celebrated for vocally mimicking a variety of famous music stars. “I first performed for Martinis for the previous owners,” he said, noting that he continues to maintain a strong professional relationship with the current staff. James said that “Impressionism” was influenced by a book of the same name. “I got into impressionistic art and a friend of mine had a book about the subject,” he said. “That kind of art is an interpretation of a picture. I thought that’s similar to what I do. I create impressions of famous people. I was so heavily into that book and I felt the event should be called, ‘Impressionism.’” One aspect about MA4 that James praises is the drink selection. “I’m not really a drinker, but the martinis are good,” he said. Other main events coming up include Sam Harris with his “Sam I Ham” show on Oct. 20, and Miss Richfield 1981 in “Red Lips to the White House,” Oct. 26 and 27. Sam Harris’ resume is a Broadway fan’s dream come true. This singer-songwriter, actor, performer, writer and producer is an entertainment powerhouse. Accompanied by Todd Schroeder, his longtime musical director, attendees will not be disappointed. Miss Richfield, who hails from Richfield, Minnesota and performs in residence in Provincetown, Massachusetts every summer, has been described as “Garrison Keillor meets Mary Tyler Moore.” She said

The staff and owners of Martinis Above Fourth Table + Stage pose with Jai Rodriguez (center), of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" fame. (Courtesy MA4) she’s running for president this year and after hearing her platform on the Martinis stage, audience members just might feel she is the best “alternative choice” there is. “We have a lot of performers who are known for both Atlantis events and RSVP Vacations,” Neubauer said. “[In addition to] Miss Richfield, Matt Yee, and Steve Grand are also visiting soon.” Neubauer said MA4 is dedicated to the local community and he hopes customers feel that the venue provides a supportive environment to everyone. “We’re very much a part of the community and they in turn made us successful,” he said. “We want to continue bringing bigger names and acts that will attract more people from outside

of the Hillcrest area.” MA4 continues to keep their strong reputation for a fun experience any night of the week. Take an Uber and bring your appetite to the neighborhood lounge. Martinis, located at 3940 Fourth Ave., is a supper club destination any night of the week, with hours 4 p.m.–midnight. Special ticketed performances specific to this month include, “Impressionism” Oct. 13; “Sam I Ham,” Oct. 20; and two nights of “Miss Richmond,” Oct. 26 and 27. For tickets or more information on their daily entertainment schedule, visit ma4sd. com or call 619-400-4500. —David Dixon is a local theater and film writer. You can reach him at




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GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


After four decades of honoring local businesses and personalities in the San Diego LGBT community, the 41st annual Nicky Awards has been delayed for unspecified reasons. Usually held in August, the popular awards event has been officially rescheduled to Nov. 13. Nominees for all categories were accepted online earlier this year and final nominees were released Sept. 28. Visit our News Briefs online at to see the 2016 nominees. Nomination Night will take place Monday, Oct. 3, at Martinis Above Fourth Table + Stage, located at 3940 Fourth Ave., in Hillcrest. The main event will take place at the Handlery Hotel in Mission Valley, located at 950 Hotel Circle North. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the program will begin at 7 p.m. Hosts for the evening will be former recipient of the “Man of the Year” Nicky, Ben Cartwright, and “Miss Pearl” a contestant of “America’s Got Talent.” To see a list of last year's winners, visit


Every year, the 200 members of the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus (SDGMC) put on a very popular holiday-themed show, always one of their biggest of the year. This December, the San Diego Padres will be sponsoring the holiday event, now in its 31st year, ensuring that many San Diego children and their families can attend. The partnership, announced in a recent SDGMC press release, includes “significant community outreach targeting San Diego County LGBT youth, local students, military, first responders and their families and organizations supporting and providing services to the LGBT community.” The sponsorship is especially significant, after a very high profile event took place last June at Petco Park between the two organizations. A woman’s voice was inadvertently played over the speakers while the SDGMC attempted to sing the National Anthem at the annual “Out at the Park” event before the Padres game against the Dodgers. In the days that followed, the Padres met with SDGMC and San Diego Pride representatives and have worked with the LGBT community at numerous events since, building bridges and forging a better relationship. “’Jingle’ is a festive and entertaining holiday tradition in our community,” said Padres president and CEO Mike Dee in the press release. “The Padres are proud to support the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus and to provide the opportunity for many San Diegans to experience this special show for the first time.” SDGMC Executive Director Bob Lehman, who was one of those who met with the Padres in June, said he is “very proud” of the partnership. “Not only are they supporting the LGBT performing arts, but with their help, many LGBT

see Briefs, pg 15




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GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016

My 11 minutes with Dolly Parton Queen of Country on inspiring gay family members to come out, her LGBT kinship and ‘queer’ introduction By Chris Azzopardi There are no angel wings. Instead, Dolly Parton scoots into a drab backstage garage on her own two legs like a unicorn dream: knee-length canary yellow dress, rhinestones, more rhinestones, and a glow that can apparently turn even an industrial underground into heaven on earth. But something’s off. Something is missing. Angel wings, I think. Which, of course, you expect from a beaming Dolly Parton, even as she literally just stands in front of you. Her presence alone radiates her own healing power as she greets a mishmash of fans one by one, all of them basking in her shine. Moms, dads, kids. An elderly woman in a wheelchair. Me, a gay man. This woman — a country queen, a “backwoods Barbie,” the self-proclaimed fairy godmother — has united us all merely by existing. And if it wasn’t already evident, it certainly is in her midst: Dolly Parton is the only religion we may ever agree on. For over two transcendent hours during her “Pure & Simple” tour, in support of her 43rd studio album of the same name, the Goddess of Goodness emerges as something too precious for this world. During her song “Little Sparrow,” the stage goes dark as screened-in birds take to the sky alongside Dolly’s silhouette — or, in this case, the Grand Rapids, Michigan, arena she was setting aglow.

Add “bird whisperer” to the long list of Dolly’s accomplishments, which is seemingly endless: 100 million albums sold worldwide; 25 certified gold, platinum and multi-platinum awards; 25 No. 1 songs on the Billboard Country charts, a record for a female artist; seven Grammy awards and 10 Country Music Association awards; one of only five female artists to win the CMA’s Entertainer of the Year Award; two Oscar nominations for songwriting (the title song to one of her many films, “9 to 5,” plus “Travelin’ Thru” from the 2005 trans-themed movie “Transamerica”); and obviously, a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. An angel, though? Parton demurs. “I don’t know if I’d go that far! I don’t think I’m all that!” she said, as humbly as you’d expect, laughing the squeakiest of laughs. Our 11-minute chat is peppered with that trademark Dolly charm (I conclude the interview by thanking her for bringing joy to my life and she responds like my mother: “Love you too!”). And yes, 11 minutes. “I don’t know where you got that odd number,” she squeaked again in her godly Southern accent, acknowledging the bonus minute her manager, Danny Nozell, had graciously given us. “He’s saying you’re getting a li’l something extra!” Read on as Dolly blesses us with an extra 60 seconds of divinity, along with a look back on her introduction to the gay community, that time she may have gotten a contact buzz from Willie Nelson’s grass, and like

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(top left) Dolly Parton’s new album, “Pure & Simple“ is available now. Parton performed in San Diego on Tuesday and will be in Los Angeles this weekend. (bottom left) Author Chris Azzopardi with Parton on tour in Grand Rapids, Michigan. (Photos courtesy Webster Public Relations)

any paragon of virtue, helping her own family members come to terms with their sexuality. (Chris Azzopardi |CA) Growing up in the Great Smoky Mountains, did you know any gay people? (Dolly Parton | DP) If I did, I didn’t know they were at the time! [Laughs] We were just mountain people, and I did not know at that time — I sure did not. (CA) What was your introduction to the gay community then? (DP) As I started to be a teenager there were a couple of guys downtown that everybody was sayin’ were queer, ya know? I know they often said that about anybody who was odd or different — “they’re just queer, just strange and odd” — but the way they would talk about these two guys they would say, “Well, they’re sissies, they’re girls.” I was a teenager then. But in my early days we did not know [what gay was]. It didn’t take me long to know that people were different and that was always fine with me ’cause I was different too, and I embraced and accepted them and I knew them. I knew them well. But no, in my early days I did not know. But I know a lot of them now! I have a huge gay and lesbian following and I’m proud of ’em, I love ’em and I think everybody should be themselves and be allowed to be themselves whoever they are, whatever they are. (CA) How big is your gay circle these days? (DP) You know what, I have so many [gay] people in my companies. And later on, I did find out I have many gays and lesbians in my own family. We accept them, we embrace them. Oh, there are some in the mountains who still don’t know quite what to make of it or how they should feel about it, but they’re ours and they’re who they are and we know they’re wonderful and they’re

like us. We love the fact that they are who they are and we nurture that. We don’t try to make them feel separate or different. We embrace it. (CA) Because you’ve always been so LGBT-affirming, are you a safe place for them to open up about their sexuality? (DP) Yes! Actually, I’ve had many people through the years who I have helped to feel good about themselves. I say, “You need to let people know who you are and you need to come on out. You don’t need to live your life in darkness — what’s the point in that? You’re never gonna be happy; you’re gonna be sick. You’re not gonna be healthy if you try to suppress your feelings and who you are.” I have a couple of transgender people in my company who are on salary with me, so I am totally open for that. And a lot of people feel like they can come to me … and they do! Whether it’s about being gay or whatever, a lot of people do me like they used to do my mama and come to talk to me about things. Hopefully I’m able to help. I think I have. (CA) When were you first aware of transgender people? (DP) I remember watching the news when I was a girl and they [were talking about the] first operation that somebody had. That’s the first time I ever heard about that, and so that was many, many years ago. But yeah, I’ve known a lot since then, though. (CA) Throughout your career, gay people have leaned on you for musical moral support while also absorbing your sage wisdom. But what have you learned from the gay people in your life? (DP) I certainly know that the gay people I know are the most sensitive and most caring of all. I think they go through so much that they have to live with their feelings on their sleeve. They’ve

had to go through so much that I think they’re very emotional and tenderhearted and more open to feelings, so I’ve just learned the same things I try to learn from everybody. I know they’re good people and I’ve tried to learn from that as well. They’re very creative, most of them. And I think that also comes from just embracing the fact that they’re different. Most of the gays I know just want to make the world a more beautiful place like I do. (CA) After 50 years of marriage, what inspired your new self-proclaimed “friends with benefits” song, “Outside Your Door”? (DP) Well, I’m married, but I’m not dead! I’m a romantic, fantasy person and I’ve felt all of those feelings. I’ve been through everything in my life. And when I don’t write about myself, I write about other people that I know and their relationships, and people I know who don’t know how to express themselves. So I gather my ideas from everything. And hell, you don’t get too old to fantasize! (CA) There’s a 20-minute intermission during your “Pure & Simple” show. What do you do for those 20 minutes? (DP) It takes every bit of my time! I fly back to my bus right after intermission and I go back and I change. I take a little breather to cool off for a minute, and then I change clothes — that’s the only change I do [during the show]. Then, I change my hair, change my wig, and I touch up my makeup. And by the time I’m done with all that it’s time to go back on. (CA) What if you have to pee? (DP) Oh, I take a pee break and drink a little bit of water. But yeah, it’s just a pee and pray break! [Laughs] (CA) You jokingly mentioned

see Dolly, pg 16


GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


‘The Producers’ - Broadway’s equal opportunity insulter Theater Review Charlene Baldridge Check it out. It’s all there — sets, costumes, lights, 19-piece orchestra, and an enormous cadre of actors (23) working very hard at the Spreckels Theatre through Oct. 9. It’s San Diego Musical Theatre’s production of Mel Brooks and Thomas Meehan’s 2001 Broadway hit, “The Producers,” in its San Diego regional premiere, not to be confused with touring productions of the show that hit town earlier under the aegis of Broadway San Diego. The musical has visual, verbal and musical insults for all — Jews, gays, lesbians, little old ladies, critics, theatergoers, and all kinds of theater types — including the titular producers, Max Bialystock (John Massey) and Leo Bloom (Bryan Banville), who are an unlikely match. The avaricious Bialystock has just endured the most recent in a string of Broadway failures. The totally naive Bloom, who still carries a tattered remnant of his baby blanket for comfort, appears from an accounting firm to do the books and suggests, half jokingly, that Bialystock could make more money with a failure than with a success, and he could cook the books so no one would be the wiser. Accordingly they locate the worst musical ever written — “Springtime for Hitler” — guaran-

“The Producers”

By Mel Brooks and Thomas Meehan Through Oct. 9 Thursdays 7:30 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays 8 p.m., Sundays 2 p.m. Spreckels Theatre 121 Broadway Downtown San Diego Tickets $35-$70 or 858-560-5740

(left) John Massey (as Max Bialystock) and Bryan Banville (as Leo Bloom) in Mel Brooks’ Broadway hit “The Producers,” now at San Diego Musical Theatre (Photo courtesy SDMT) teed to flop; hire the worst director and choreographer; cast the most inept singers/dancers/actors; and go into rehearsal. As an added catastrophe — the “Springtime” leading man, who plays Hitler, breaks his leg just before opening night curtain, adding further assurance that the show will flop. Instead, it is declared a satirical wonder and the show is a runaway hit. This sets in motion all kinds of legal proceedings and discovery of the scam, threatening to send Max and Leo to prison for a long time. Along the way, we meet Max

and Leo’s author (Franz Liebkind, played by Lance Carter) and director (Roger DeBris, played by Russell Garrett) and his ever so flaming major domo (Carmen Ghia, played Luke Harvey Jacobs), as well as Ulla, Max and Leo’s Swedish bombshell, hired for both show and office, played by Siri Hafso. And did I mention Brooks’ music and lyrics are catchy and singable, and that Musical Director Don Le Master fields a fine orchestra and keeps the pace from flagging.

Massey is a corpulent man and Bialystock keeps active by schtupping all the little old ladies, from whom he gets checks to underwrite his shows. Nonetheless, despite his size, sweat and scheming, he is likeable, certainly a requirement for enjoyment of the show. Banville has a lovely, wellemployed light voice and plays the innocent very well, especially in his love scenes with Ulla. One of the best, most awful scenes in the show involves the chorus of little old ladies performing a tap number with their walkers as ad-

ditional percussion. Director Jamie Torcellini imbues each company member with character and a certain left-handed pizzazz, and Beth Connelly’s costumes, especially for the “Springtime” parade of beauties, are wonderfully witty. Christopher Murillo’s sets are adequate to the task though a bit shaky. The show features lighting by Michael Van Hoffman, sound by Kevin Anthenill, and choreography by Janet Renslow. As usual, this listener went home singing “Springtime for Hitler.” With its insult quotient, “The Producers” may be said to have paved the way for a certain American political candidate. —Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the arts since 1979. You can follow her blog at or reach her at



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016

After a 10-plus-year run, Wine Steals in Hillcrest ceased operations on Sept. 20 due to rent and leasing issues that resulted in an eviction. The 4,000-squarefoot space functioned as a winebeer bar, retail outlet and event venue, and it eventually spawned three other locations of the same concept. The Liberty Station and East Village outlets shuttered over the past several years, although Wine Steals in Cardiff-bythe-Sea remains in business. Wine Steals owner Ken Mills says he might look for an alternative location within Uptown for reopening “on smaller scale.” 1243 University Ave.,

North Park Beer Co. now offers house-made Scotch eggs and other savory fare by Mastiff Sausage Company (Facebook) The kitchen is up and running at North Park Beer Co., which formed a recent partnership with Mastiff Sausage Company to oversee food operations. Mastiff’s beer-friendly menu includes oxtail French onion soup, Scotch eggs, sausage tacos, and lamb stew made with the beer company’s signature stout. The joint venture will be celebrated with two grand-opening pig roasts from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Oct. 1 and 2. Admission for either day is $65, which includes unlimited food, plus beer tastings from the house line and more than 40 others from breweries throughout Southern California. Tickets can be purchased at the door or online at 3038 University Ave., 619-255-2946. In a lead-up to Halloween, Austin-based Amplified Snack Brands is introducing a chip to its line of Paqui Tortilla Chips — a chip so hot, it’s sold only singly in a small coffin-shaped box. Available online, the limited edition “Carolina Reaper” is flavored with A five-alarm snack chip for the namesake pepper (considered the hottest the toughest of hot heads in the world) plus scorching ghost peppers (Courtesy Amplified Snack Brands) and chipotle seasoning. It retails for $4.99 per chip and will stick around until supplies last. Paqui’s established chip flavors, which include roasted habanero, jalapeno, and nacho cheese, are carried locally at Ralph’s and Whole Foods.

Shawn’s on Congress, a wine and beer bar that opened less than a year ago in Old Town, closed on Sept. 24. Its owner, Shawn Magurno cited “lack of business” as the reason, adding that he will now focus on opening an urban winery in the coming years, perhaps in East County. He currently produces wine at his San Carlos residence, including a strawberry Riesling that is available at The Alamo Mexican Café in Old Town, 2543 Congress St., 619-296-1112, In celebration of its 12th anniversary, Eclipse Chocolate in South Park will hold two separate workshops that allow guests to create customized chocolate bars with a choice of 20-plus gourmet ingredients such as strawberry malted milk crunch and coconut dulce de leche. The workshops will be held from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Oct. 22 and 23, at Eclipse. The cost is $10. 2145 Fern St., 619-578-2984,

Gustaf Anders Rooth rolls out his oak barrel smoker for a series of culturally inspired dinners (Photo by Tyler Beach) Gustaf Rooth of Planet Rooth Design Haus in Bankers Hill is rolling out his inventive “iQ barrel smoker” for a series of dinners that begins with “Japan vs. Denmark,” at 6 p.m., Oct. 20. It will be followed a month later, at the same time, by “Jamaica vs. Hawaii” on Nov. 17. The cost for either event is $40, or $70 per couple. They will be held at Rooth’s gallery. 3334 Fifth Ave., 619-297-9663,

Changes are coming to Saffron in Mission Hills (Courtesy Saffron) Saffron in Mission Hills is slated for a remodel as owner Su-Mei Yu enters into partnership with Karina’s Group, which operates several Mexican seafood restaurants throughout San Diego County. After work is completed early next year, the restaurant’s small adjoining space that is famous for its rotisserie chickens will become Karina’s Ceviche & More. The chickens, also available in the sit-down restaurant, will remain in the offering after the remodel, along with the same full menu of noodles, stir-fries and other Thai entrees. 3731-B India St., 619-574-7737, —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at





OCTOBER 22, 2016






Around the world in 90 minutes Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr. French onion soup, typically a precursor to beef bourguignon or coq au vin, was our gateway to the cuisine of several countries far removed from the hexagon nation. Not since visiting Hanna’s Gourmet in Normal Heights have I witnessed a menu so globally ambitious and well executed than what exists at Red Card Café. The restaurant is nestled within a row of home-design businesses along the northern end of Morena Boulevard, in a modest, industrial structure previously occupied by Kitchen 4140. Owner and Parisian native, Caroline Sternberg, gave it a chic redo that resulted in clean lines and a gray-and-red color scheme that feels exceptionally calming. She also restylized the bar, which is now rigged with 14 beer taps. The overall design is a nod to world soccer, with the “red card” used customarily by referees for declaring player penalties. Here, a mini version of the card is slotted into your check holder as a fun embellishment. There are also a few flat screens used for streaming seasonal soccer matches as they occur. “Soccer ties into international street food,” Sternberg explained of her menu, which was created by Chef Drew Lopez, a culinary graduate of the Art Institute of Colorado. Lopez makes everything from scratch, and brings to the café a broad spectrum of food knowledge after working in a number of San Diego restaurants that included S&M Sausage & Meat, Green Acre, and the former Lei Lounge. “I was ready for this opportunity,” he said, while pointing out a few spins he gives to certain dishes. For his French onion soup, capped with coveted, gooey Gruyere cheese, he de-glazes the onions after they’re cooked with sherry vinegar. The unexpected tartness tasted akin to fresh citrus, diminishing to a degree the sweetness of the onions. The pork shoulder comprising his Cuban sandwich is brined in lemonade for two days, yet without robbing the meat of its desirable, succulent flavor. The acidity factor was inconspicuous, just enough to balance the generously buttered baguette roll, which also captured Gruyere, house-made pickles and creamy Dijon mustard. Argentina is represented by empanadas filled stoutly with braised beef hiding customary green olives. Their house-made dough casings were glossy, light and skillfully crimped. Served alongside was a robust dipping sauce of guajillo chilies, tomatillos and smoked paprika. A few dabs were fine. Beyond that, the admixture committed something of a penalty kick in playing with these half-moon beauties. We then diverted to China with an order of char siu pork

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016



buns accented with cabbage slaw and ginger aioli. Their texture and flavor scored better than any I’ve had all year — airy and spongy on the outside, sweet and tangy inside — and without the inundation of five spice I often encounter by other American chefs that attempt them. A return to Europe landed us in Italy with a most memorable bowl of house-made basil linguine tossed in almond pesto, basil oil and chili flakes. Lopez hits the dish with a little marinara sauce, which tempers the monotony of basil’s sweet, peppery essence. Thank you, chef, for catering to folks like me who love the herb, but don’t want it governing every strand of soft, precious noodle coiling my fork. The menu reveals a good deal of wanderlust in other dishes we didn’t try, such as chicken mole tacos, Hawaiian poke in yuzu juice, Jamaican jerk chicken, North African lamb sausage (merguez), plus a few stateside dishes such as a bacon-wrapped hot dog, a bonein pork chop with green apple sauce, and a roasted turkey sandwich with avocado, pickled red onions and alfalfa sprouts. Lopez doubles as the café’s pastry chef. We tried the seasonal-berry tart sporting a velvety, lemon curd, plus lip-smacking chocolate mousse amplified by a strong measure of espresso. No

4140 Morena Blvd., Suite A (Bay Park) 858-291-8030 Dinner prices: soups and salads, $6 to $16; sandwiches and street fare, $8 to $16; entrees, $14 to $20

Around the world at Red Card Cafe: (top) Char sui pork buns; (clockwise from left) A Cuban sandwich; French onion soup; basil linguini with marinara sauce (All photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

need for a cup of jitter juice if you get it. Condensed into one dinner sitting, Red Card Café affords visitors an extensive journey filled with some of the tastiest, most celebrated foods the world has to

AUGUST WILSON x2 “Rich, music-drenched drama” — The New York Times

offer — and achievable without packing a suitcase. It is open seven nights a week and also serves lunch from 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday through Friday, and brunch from 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays.

—Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at


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Thursday, October 13 at 6:30 p.m. Show Starts at 8:00 p.m.

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October Sky

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(619) 23-GLOBE (234-5623) The cast of October Sky. Photo by Jim Cox.


GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016



FIND OUT in our next issue! Publishing on Friday, October 14th! (l to r) Lambda Archives lead archivist Jen LaBarbera, board president Maureen Steiner, marriage equality activist and author Jim Obergefell, and archives manager Walter G. Meyer stand in front of the marriage equality flag and other artifacts. (Courtesy Lambda Archives)

A night with Jim Obergefell Out of the Archives Archives Staff


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A large and enthusiastic crowd turned out on Sept. 15 to hear Jim Obergefell — lead plaintiff in the Supreme Court case that resulted in nationwide same-sex marriage — talk about his journey from being a “checkbook activist” to being center stage in the fight for equality. The audience laughed and cried as local attorney Matt Stephens interviewed Obergefell about how he promised his late husband that he would continue to fight to have their marriage recognized. Obergefell met attendees before and after the discussion and signed copies of his new book, “Love Wins.” Thanks to the videographers of Trans-Narratives, a video link will soon allow those who were unable to attend to see the dynamic exchange that took place on stage. A concurrent exhibit displayed items from marriage equality collections and incorporated several items on loan from Eddie Reynoso, founder of the San Diego LGBT Visitor Center. Included was the marriage equality flag Reynoso created by stitching pink stars over the usual white ones, as each state legalized same-sex marriage. Of course, he got to make them all pink after the 2015 landmark ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges. Thanks to volunteers Nicole Verdes and Brandon Torres for putting together this inspiring exhibit, which will remain open through the end of October. Don’t miss it. On Oct. 16 at 10 a.m., the Archives will lead the next “Historic Hillcrest” walking tour. Learn fun facts about the gayborhood and enjoy a relaxing end to the tour at one of the great food and drink venues in Hillcrest. We not only share our knowledge on each tour, but we often learn from the participants. Our last time out, we learned the original name of University Avenue. Do you know it? Tour tickets are available for purchase at as well as from our new partner, San Diego LGBT Visitors Center. Another fun fact: the San Diego LGBT Visitors Center is only the fourth in the nation. The center is located inside Creative Crossroads at 502 University Ave. You can stop by between 10 a.m. and 8 p.m., go to

(l to r) Eddie Reynoso, founder of the San Diego LGBT Visitor Center, poses with Obergefell after the event. (Photo by Walter G. Meyer) or call 619-432-LGBT (5428). Sir Dermot Turing, nephew of Alan Turing — the gay British code breaker and subject of the movie, “The Imitation Game” — will be doing a Q&A after a special screening of the film at Hillcrest’s Landmark Theater on Oct. 27. Lambda Archives is partnering with the San Diego Biomedical Research Institute for this special event. Tickets are available at sirdermot. Also coming in late October is another installation of Out At the Archives, this one featuring author and historian Lillian Faderman, who recently published “The Gay Revolution.” Faderman did some of her research at Lambda Archives and now lives full-time in San Diego. She will share stories of her work on this book and maybe some insights regarding her forthcoming book on Harvey Milk. Details of the event will be announced soon. Don’t miss the opportunity to have Professor Faderman sign your copy of her award-winning book, which we will have available for purchase. Following their successful marriage equality display, Verdes and Torres plan to create another exciting exhibit to tie into the November installation of Out At the Archives, “Do Ask, Do Tell: LGBTQ in the military” just in time for Veterans Day. Lambda Archives is open to the public without appointment from noon–5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday. Follow us on Facebook to learn more or reserve your seat for any of our Out At the Archives events. You can also join the Archives as a member, which will guarantee you don’t

miss out on anything. Materials continue to roll in to the Archives. Some fun examples include Pride T-shirts from Major League Baseball teams around the country, donated by former Padres player, Billy Bean. Bean came out once his career as a player came to an end, but he continues to be involved as Major League Baseball’s Ambassador of Inclusion. You might also see Bean in an upcoming Out At the Archives. Stay tuned! A special thank you to retired attorney Bridget Wilson, who continues to donate documents from the many, many legal battles she fought on behalf of the LGBT community, particularly those regarding LGBT in the military. Wilson’s video interview about her part in striking down the San Diego cross-dressing ordinance will soon be available online — thanks again to Trans-Narratives. You are invited to come to the annual meeting and open house in December. A short board meeting will precede a summary of the year and a member-only election of new board members at 7 p.m., Dec. 13. Board members Chuck Kaminski and Maureen Steiner will be termed out, so come by to say “Thanks” and wish them well. As always, Lambda Archives belongs to you. Any donation of time, money, or materials you can make will help us expand collections and share knowledge. Visit, call 619260-1522, or email with questions or suggestions. —Visit or follow them on Facebook.t




youth and families in difficult circumstances will get to come out and join us for a really fun and festive holiday show.” As in past years, the chorus will perform many traditional holiday-themed songs, such as “Silent Night,” “I’ll be Home for Christmas,” and others, as well as songs from Disney’s popular “Frozen” animated film and some Broadway-related surprises. “Jingle” will take place at the historic Balboa Theatre, located at 868 Fourth Ave., Downtown, on Dec. 10 at 8 p.m. with a matinee on Dec. 11 at 3 p.m. Tickets to the show range from $23 – $70 and are available at or by calling the Balboa Theatre box office at 619570-1100. Discounts for seniors, students, active duty military and groups of 10 or more are also available. For an additional $35, attendees can join Artistic Director RC Haus and members of the chorus in a pre-show reception, where hors d’oeuvres and beverages will be served.


On Monday, Sept. 26, and Tuesday, Sept. 27, eight transgender activists from India, guests of the U.S. Department of State, visited San Diego. The group met with various members of the San Diego LGBTQIA community, including Morgan Hurley, editor of Gay San Diego; Hillary Whittington, author of “Raising Ryland: Our story of parenting a transgender child with no strings attached”; Ben Cartwright, San Diego LGBT Community Center; Christine Garcia, transgender San Diego Police Officer and SDPD’s LGBT Liaison Officer; and others. The contingent included: Jaya Annamalai, program manager of Sahodaran; Gazal Dhaliwal, freelance Bollywood screenwriter with Vinod Chopra Films; Rupika Dhillon, project director, Society for People’s Awareness, Care and Empow-

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


A group of transgender activists from India visited San Diego this week, shown here meeting with Hillary Whittington (center holding the banner), the mother of a local transgender 8-year old boy, and Gay San Diego editor Morgan M. Hurley (far right). (Courtesy Hillary Whittington)

erment (SPACE); Sadhana Kinner, president and project director of community-based organization SAKHA; Rudra Kishore Mandal, an independent art professional and the only cisgender gay man of the group; Vyjayanti Vasanta Mogli, an independent activist, Telangana Hijra and transgender Samiti; Rachana Mudraboyina, also an independent activist, Telangana Hijra and transgender Samiti; and Meera Parida, president of Odisha Kinner Mahasangha. The contingent was accompanied by Ms. Minnie Battle Mayes and Mr. Tomasz Maciejko, international visitor liaisons with the Meridian International Center in Washington, D.C., the organization that manages the State Department’s International Visitor Leadership Program (IVLP) for current and emerging foreign leaders. Many of the activists had never been to the U.S. before and got the opportunity to visit four cities on their three-week itinerary, Sept. 19 – Oct. 7; Washington, D.C.; San Diego, California; Denver, Colorado; and Iowa City, Iowa. The San Diego Diplomacy Council hosted the first of the local meetings, where the guests got to share their personal experiences and ask questions of both Hurley and Whittington. They also watched a YouTube video that Whittington and her husband Jeff had made about the transition of their 5-year old son, Ryland. The parents made the video to educate family and the administrators and teachers at the East County school their

son would be attending, but after debuting the video at the 2014 Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast, the media attention made it go viral. Since its debut, the homemade video has been seen nearly 8 million times with viewers from all over the world. Many of the transgender activists from India were very moved by the film, hugging Whittington with tears in their eyes afterward. They applauded her as a mother for letting her son live his authentic self, stating that children in India “are not allowed” to make any decisions about their lives and are completely controlled by their parents. Dhillon admitted to the group that she was the survivor of electro-shock and reparative therapy at age 20, which she was subjected to at the hands of her parents. While many of them said that as adults they are able to live more authentically in India than those in other countries (including the U.S.) due to laws protecting “Hijra” — or “third gender” — they all agreed that their transgender children have no support system. “I’m seeing we are much more advanced in many ways, but not in this area and I’m very ashamed about that,” one of them said. Each of the visiting activists shared about the work they do to advance equality and awareness regarding HIV issues in their own country, while actively supporting the rights of transgender people and those struggling with gender identity. For more information about the State Department’s IVLP, visit

Supporting Mama’s by days:

In conjunction with a financial commitment from Medtronic Foundation, Carlsbad-based Medtronic employees volunteer at Mama’s Kitchen. Volunteers felt it was a great way to collaborate, hum, sing and dance a little bit, all while doing some good for the community through meal prep. Mama’s Kitchen provides an average of 970 meals per day throughout San Diego County to individuals living with cancer or AIDS. See photo below

Medtronic volunteers pictured: (back row) Fred Oh, Tyson Grant, Emmanuel Felix, Avijit Das, Janet Dalton, Jonah Wright, and Zheng Liu; (front row) Jerome Agbayani, Frank Dobbs, Suzette Matsufuji, Ahanya Mathew, and Tani Barbour (Photo courtesy Medtronic)

the community to the Pride board — ironically co-penned by Stephen Whitburn — communicated a lack of confidence and requested the immediate resignation of the members. See Because of all that drama, Pride almost didn’t happen in 2010. But thankfully a group of former board members, including Judi Schaim (now an active board member emeritus) who came on as co-chair, formed an interim board that took a very “hands-on” approach to the day-to-day activities of the organization and put together a Pride weekend that made us proud. The interim board also held a town hall-style meeting in an effort to renew trust and credibility with the local LGBT community. During that meeting, the board promised complete transparency going forward, which included open board meetings, the establishment of a community advisory board, and a mandate that board minutes and financials would always be available online. For 2011, new staff was hired and a new board was put in place, mentored by the former members with concrete marching orders going forward. And since then, San Diego Pride has in many ways blown away the community’s expectations. It has expanded, lowered the price per day and weekend access to the festival, made international news two years in a row associated with the military contingent; and given back record amounts to the local LGBT community through its grant program. Fast forward to Sept. 21, when a group of 65 protestors showed up to San Diego Pride’s September board meeting, bringing forth very similar assertions as the ones outlined in the above link from 2010. More than a dozen speakers signed up for their allotted two minutes to address the board, with a dozen more signing up merely to relinquish their time to other speakers. While trumpeting the professionalism and accomplishments of the entire San Diego Pride staff, every speaker demanded that Whitburn be reinstated. Most of the speakers complained of a lack of transparency due to board minutes being unavailable for over a year and the disbanding of the community advisory board, and many also called for specific board members to resign. Reasons for demanding the resignations were mixed; some accused board members of being drunk and disorderly during Pride weekend; several others, all high level volunteers with the organization, said the board refused to give them a voice at recent board meetings. Another Pride volunteer, Jennifer Restle, a member of Pride’s Accessibility Team and a disability and bisexual activist, was a keynote speaker at this year’s Stonewall Rally. Restle took to the mic to address the behavior of a board member who she accused of sexually harassing her during Pride weekend. She said she had previously brought the incident to the board’s attention but they ignored her concerns. The meeting was quite contentious and ended with an agreement that five members of San Diego Pride’s board would meet with five members of the protestors, to discuss the issues at hand, including a set of corrective actions laid out during the meeting by protestor and former Pride co-chair William Rodriguez-Kennedy. On the sidewalk in front of the Pride offices immediately after adjournment, protestors elected their five representatives: co-founder


Nicole Murray-Ramirez; RodriguezKennedy; and current Pride lead volunteers Connor Maddocks, Martha Henderson and Joseph Smith. The five board members chosen had not been identified by the end of the meeting, but Gay San Diego has since learned they are Lynn BarnesWallace; treasurer Matthew Verdeflor; co-chair Bianca Burt, whose resignation has been requested; Phyllis Jackson and Jim Seal. According to Rodriguez-Kennedy, the group was to meet Wednesday, Sept. 28. As of press time, the results of this meeting have not been released. “My early conversations with Lynn [Barnes-Wallace] show that we are far apart in terms of how we view the current controversy but there were significant points of consensus,” Rodriquez-Kennedy told Gay San Diego the day before the meeting. “It is our goal — the five elected by the protesters — to bring more accountability and transparency to the board. This means we will have to have tough conversations about the board’s recent actions including the termination of Stephen Whitburn and the 13 other grievances that we brought up when we confronted the board. We have nine corrective actions that we have suggested that could comprehensively address the Pride Board’s structural problems including its lack of trust from and connection with our community.” Rodriguez-Kennedy also said at least three board members should resign due to conduct issues. The day after the controversial meeting, Stephen Whitburn wrote an open letter to the community, which he sent to local LGBT news media. “I want to say how deeply grateful I am for your expressions of how meaningful you’ve found the work we’ve all done together. I am touched by your comments, overwhelmed by your support, and humbled to be a part of this tremendous community. Thank you to the wonderful Pride volunteers and staff and community members for your kindness, and I have very much appreciated the calls from community leaders and elected officials. It is a privilege to have your friendship. Thank you again.” Whitburn has received an outpouring of support from the community and local leaders on his Facebook page. In addition, the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus, who worked closely with Whitburn mending fences with the Padres earlier this year, asked him to be their guest at their Cabaret Gala, which took place Sept. 29. As of press time, we were unable to hear from San Diego Pride board members or staff. Requests for comment were not returned. More than any other nonprofit in our community, San Diego Pride seems to “belong” to the community. As such, we will report the results of “the meeting of the fives” as details are revealed, but several different meetings may be required to reach results that both sides can agree upon. It would appear that for the good of the community, transparency measures should be put in place immediately, with minutes and financials returned to the Pride website. Reinstating the community advisory board should also be of the upmost of importance, as this consulting body would help monitor the impacts of the board’s actions within the community. Finally, board members who have proven to have behaved in ways that are not acceptable as those who are acting as ambassadors of the community, should resign and make way for others. What do you think? —Reach Morgan M. Hurley at morgan@sdcnn.comt



GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016

Imma need something!” But he laughed so hard. But anyway, I love him, but he’s Willie and that’s OK.



during the show that you should run for president. Say you were elected — what would be your first order of business? (DP) I would just resign! That’d be my first order if I got elected — I’d say, “No, I don’t want it, I don’t want it!” [Laughs] But no, I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t even think on those terms. I’d make this world a better place, I’ll tell you that. (CA) During the show you hysterically joked about how you could get a contact buzz from Willie Nelson’s tour bus. Where do you get your sense of humor and sharp wit? (DP) Oh, that comes from both sides of my family. My mama’s people were hysterical; my daddy’s people were hysterical. They just had a different sense of humor and that’s how we got through everything, with our sense of humor. And as a writer I just think funny. I try to find things to laugh about and so anyway, I just say whatever I say. (CA) What’s the closest you’ve gotten to Willie and his weed? (DP) Oh, I know Willie really well! I sang with him on my last album. We did a duet together called “From Here to the Moon and Back” and I was singing — well, I was trying to sing and I said, “Willie, I’ll tell you, you’re the worst person I ever tried to sing with. I mean, you’re brazen! I can’t keep up with you! Imma need a sack of your grass!

(CA) He smoked in the studio with you there is what you’re saying? (DP) Oh, yeah! Willie smokes at the drop of a hat! I probably had a contact high from that, too! (CA) You’ve been singing “I Will Always Love You” since the early ’70s. What does that song mean to you now that it didn’t mean to you when you first wrote it? (DP) Well, you appreciate things more as you get older. That song is just the gift that keeps on giving. It’s always getting licensing in my publishing company; somebody’s recorded it and we’re signing off on that. And so the fact that people are always calling me and always wanting rights for [the song for] a wedding — I actually rewrote it as a wedding song; it makes a beautiful song — it just makes me appreciate the fact that I’ve been able to write something that’s been that meaningful to so many people through the years. So, it does touch me and it turned out to be the perfect song to sing to my fans — it’s the song I like to dedicate to the fans. Not the sad parts, but the good parts — especially the line of, “I will always love you” for letting me do this. —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).t




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GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016



FILM FESTIVAL it tells the story of four inspiring women who were encapsulated in a very exciting, progressive and controversial time period. “The directors and the filmmakers deserve props,” she said. “They did a fantastic job of creating both a narrative and a gripping story. I think the film is engaging, fascinating and educational and I think everyone should come out and see it.” Political Animals will make its San Diego Debut on Saturday, Oct. 1 at 2 p.m. at the UA Horton Plaza 8, located Downtown. Advance tickets are available for $15 each and can be purchased online at “Since my colleagues — Kevin Leap, Dale Strack and Patti Judd — and I took over the festival five years ago to rebuild it, I have always programmed an LGBTQ track at [festival],” Mantooth said. “Film can change people’s perspectives and when you have a festival platform with a wide range of demographics, it’s the perfect opportunity to put before our festival-goers films that are key to LGBTQ issues.” Other films in the festival’s LGBT track “Supporting Pride,” include: • “Love Is All You Need” deals with prejudice, human rights and bullying and is described as “Romeo and Juliet” meets “Crash” meets “Requiem for a Dream.” • “Pushing Dead,” starring Danny Glover and James Roday

"All You Need is Love," a feature film based on a short film of the same name, is part of the LGBT Track at San Diego International Film Festival. (Courtesy SDIFF)

A still from "Opening Night" shows a challenged Topher Grace on the eve of a Broadway debut. (Courtesy SDIFF)

about a struggling writer who has lived with HIV for two decades gets dropped from his health plan after depositing a $100 check. • “Opening Night,” starring Topher Grace, JC Chasez and Alona Tal, about a Broadway musical with an eccentric cast.

pher Rose Hartman, taken in Studio 54’s heyday and through New York’s star-studded fashion scene. The San Diego International Film Festival opened Sept. 28 and continues through Oct. 2. For more information about the San Diego International Film

• “No Pay, Nudity,” stars Gabriel Byrne, Nathan Lane, Frances Conroy and Boyd Gaines) about an aging actor who rediscovers simple joys of his life. • “Incomparable Rose Hartman,” a documentary about the arresting images of celebrity photogra-

Festival’s complete lineup, locations, download the program or to purchase advance tickets, visit —Margie M. Palmer can be reached at margiep@alumni.pitt. edu.t


GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


Ride Sally Ride: Scripps Institute of Oceanography’s newest research vessel is named after Sally Ride and you can take a free, self-guided public tour on this day, while the ship is at Broadway Pier, located at 1000 N. Harbor Drive. The 238-foot ship is considered one of the “most technologically advanced oceanic research vessels in the world.” Tour will include labs, sampling stations, crew, main work deck and living quarters. A government issued ID and flat, closed-toe shoes are required. Windows open at 10:30 a.m., tours will take place between noon–4 p.m. San Diego Restaurant Week: SDRW continues through Sunday with over 180 participating restaurants in San Diego County offering three-course prix-fixe menus for dinner from $20–$50 per person and two-course prix-fixe lunches for $10–$20 per person. Visit Gay Days at Disneyland: An unofficial “mix in,” where LGBT people mingle with straight people at Disneyland while wearing red shirts to identify one another and show numbers. Once a one-day gathering, the event is now a full weekend with parties, gatherings, group photos and more. Disneyland, 1313 S. Disneyland Drive, Anaheim. Visit Top of the Bay: SDPIX hosts this edition of the weekly rooftop LGBT happy hour and T-dance featuring cocktail specials, shuttle service to and from Rich’s San Diego and more. Attendees receive a hand stamp for free entry to Rich’s from 10 p.m.–midnight. 6 p.m. Fifth floor of the Porto Vista Hotel, 1835 Columbia St., Little Italy. Visit TopoftheBaySanDiego on Facebook.


Families Through Surrogacy U.S. Surrogacy Conference: To help those considering surrogacy, intending parents and surrogates can hear from industry professionals, other parents and surrogates. Members of the surrogacy community can share honest feedback on what to expect from agency relationships, surrogate matching and treatment choices. Conference tickets start at $20. 9 a.m. Courtyard Los Angeles Westside, 6333 Bristol Parkway, Culver City. Visit Makers Faire San Diego: A two-day celebration kicks off today with projects, experiments and DIY culture taking over Balboa Park. Over 10 locations in the park will participate with innovators

and creators showcased through Sunday. 10 a.m. Balboa Park 1549 El Prado. Visit North County LGBTQ Resource Center open house: A chance to explore the Center’s new location; meet board members, volunteers and staff; and enjoy refreshments. 2–5 p.m. North County LGBTQ Resource Center, 3220 Mission Ave., Suite 2, Oceanside. Visit ‘Political Animals’: This film tells the story of the gay rights movement through the eyes of four elected women including San Diego’s own Christine Kehoe. 2 p.m. Regal Cinemas, UA Horton Plaza 8, 475 Horton Plaza, Downtown. Visit San Diego Women’s Drum Circle 18th anniversary: A potluck, raffle and more to celebrate 18 years of the San Diego Women’s Drum Circle. Potluck starts at 4:30 p.m. with a drum circle from 6–9 p.m. Behind Paradise Point Resort, 1404 Vacation Road, Mission Bay. Visit ‘Guy4Guy Dating Game’: A night of “ultimate gay bachelors” is promised at the first ever “Guy4Guy Dating Game” — an event featuring gay guys ages 21–50. Fifty single guys will play in a four-round game competing to win a date with “SoCal’s most eligible stud.” The show is hosted by Mayhem Miller and Jared Hall and will feature giveaways, a hosted bar and more. 7 p.m. Rich’s San Diego, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit ‘Lube: A Modern Love Story’: A reading of this gaytheme, Broadway-style musical written by local playwright Jack Turner will be held to benefit the It Gets Better project and the Animal Rescue Coalition. The performance will include 24 songs written by composer Brandon Bowerman. 7 p.m. The Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit lubemusicalreading.


San Diego Zoo’s 100th birthday: A birthday party for the Zoo will be held in the Centennial Plaza with activities starting at 9 a.m., a presentation in the Wegeforth Bowl at 10 a.m. with animal ambassadors, costumed characters, birthday cake and more. 9 a.m.– noon. San Diego Zoo, 2920 Zoo Drive. Visit ‘Manifestation Meet Up’: A group meetup to “manifest your goals and desires.” Groups are a suggested $10 donation but no one will be turned away for lack of funds. Bring candles, flowers, food, rattles, drums and noise makers


Red Dress Party San Diego: This year’s “Red & Wild” themed party promises a night of music and dancing mixed with charity and fun. The event raises funds and awareness for organizations that serve the local HIV/AIDS community. All attendees are required to wear a red dress. Tickets start at $55. 8 p.m. San Diego Natural History Museum, 1788 El Prado, Balboa Park. Visit and

to help raise energy. 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Hapenstans – The Tribe, 416 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2dfbsqf.


Cyndi Lauper: The songwriting and LGBT icon known for “Time After Time” and numerous other hits will perform in San Diego in support of her newest album “Detour.” Tickets include a digital copy of the record. Tickets start at $68.50. 7:30 p.m. Humphreys Concerts By The Bay, 2241 Shelter Island Drive. Visit


Trivia Tuesday: Every Tuesday, come alone or with a group of friends for a chance to win valuable HBC gift cards. $2 off full size HBC beers during trivia. 7:30–10 p.m. Hillcrest Brewing Company, 1458 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit hillcrestbrewingcompany. com or call 619-269-4323.


Informational session on senior housing project: Bring all your questions to this informational session regarding the LGBT-affirming senior community development in North Park. 5:30 p.m. The Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. For more information contact LaRue Fields at seniors@ or 619-692-2077 x205. Visit Guys, Ghouls and Grub — Halloween edition: The name says it all. This popular monthly event features time to socialize for men ages 21 and older. The first Wednesday of the month event includes pizza, beer, wine, soft

drinks, games, prizes and more and this month will feature Halloween candy and surprises. There is also a live trivia game hosted each month by John Lockhart starting at 6:30 p.m. A $5 suggested donation for attending GGG goes toward men’s programming at The Center. Food and drink items are $1 each. 6 p.m. San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit


‘RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 2’ official viewing party: Every Thursday this viewing party is hosted by Chad Michaels with special guest hosts Paris Sukomi Max and Glitz Glam, plus surprise guest hosts. 8–10 p.m. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


First Fridays Top of the Bay: SDPIX hosts this edition of the rooftop LGBT happy hour and T-dance featuring cocktail specials, shuttle service to and from Rich’s San Diego, and more. There will also be a photo booth and giveaways by SDPIX. Attendees receive a hand stamp for free entry to Rich’s from 10 p.m.–midnight. 6 p.m. Fifth floor of the Porto Vista Hotel, 1835 Columbia St., Little Italy. Visit 2016 Autumn Classic opening party: This party welcomes both local and visiting softball players for the annual Autumn Classic softball tournament, sponsored by AFCSL. It will feature entertainment by “RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Star” winners Chad Michaels and Paris Sukomi Max. 6–9 p.m. Hall of Champions, 2131 Pan American Plaza, Balboa Park. Visit

‘Pumpkin Palooza’: Saturdays in October (8, 15 and 22) will feature free family farm experiences centered around fall’s signature crop: pumpkins! There will be organic pumpkins for picking in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. Pumpkins are priced by size. Tonight’s event will feature live music by Fanny and The Atta Boys. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Suzie’s Farm, 2570 Sunset Ave. Visit Pride By The Beach: The North County LGBTQ Resource Center and North County residents and guests will celebrate their pride with entertainment, local performers, a kids’ area and more. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Oceanside Civic Center, 300 North Coast Highway, Oceanside. Visit Youth Talent Show: This special talent show is designed for youth ages 4–18. There will be three age groups: 4–9, 10–13 and 14–18 with three judges. Performances should last five to seven minutes and there will be a prize for the winner of each age group. 3:30–5:30 p.m. The Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2cSYWZS. Imperial Valley Pride: Imperial Valley LGBT Resource Center will host its first ever Pride event with live music; auctions and raffles; vendor and resource tables; a drag show and more. 5–9 p.m. Imperial Valley LGBT Resource Center, 1073 Ross Ave., El Centro. Visit ‘Fall Classics’: A concert by the Hillcrest Wind Ensemble will feature light classical pieces inter-

see LGBT Calendar, pg 19


solution on page 16




1 Opportunity for Glenn Burke 6 “Pirates of the Caribbean” locales 11 Cruising areas 15 Michael of “Miss Congeniality” 16 Time on the job 17 R.E.M. neck attachment 18 Alec Guinness play 19 South Pacific kingdom 20 Roughly 21 With 23-Across, documentary in which “Ben-Hur’s” gay subtext was revealed, with “The” 23 See 21-Across 25 Paul Simon’s “Richard ___” 26 Lidded box in “Six Feet Under” 28 Convincing 30 Getty of “The Golden Girls” 34 Like a 90-pound weakling 35 Move barely 38 Hunter that comes out at night 39 Poet McKuen 40 With 55-Across, “Ben-Hur” actor unaware of the gay subtext


42 Solidly behind 43 “___ roll!” (winner’s cry) 45 Just for laughs 46 Deity on “Xena” 47 Shakespearean sister 49 “The Queen” star Helen 51 Brought to an end 54 Irene of “Fame” 55 See 40-Across 58 Writer of the gay subtext 62 It comes out of your head 63 Nuts 65 St. Teresa’s town 66 Maria’s “do” equivalent 67 “American Idol” judge Paula 68 Source of gaiety? 69 Drops the curtain on 70 Like some porn 71 Rims

1 Current band of the past? 2 Actor Diggs 3 “Kinsey” director 4 Explanatory tool 5 One of the fruits of academic success 6 Comparison phrase 7 Like a tough guy 8 Evans of “Dynasty” 9 Wilde tongue, for short 10 Piles of pancakes 11 Vehicle for Teletubby Po 12 Patty Sheehan’s average scores 13 Recess at St. Mary’s? 14 “Chim-Chim-Cheree” residue 22 “Mulholland Drive” director David 24 Spoil the surprise 27 Nose feature 28 Former New York governor Mario 29 Chases behind 31 Interpreting your lover’s kisses? 32 “Two Women” star 33 Mireille, whose name rhymes with “penis”

34 Nice Nellie 36 Suffix with southeast 37 Fairy’s cousin 40 Menotti’s middle name 41 Where Dick Button performed 44 Fruity juices 46 Came 48 Sea off Greece 50 Damage severely 52 “Great balls of fire!” 53 Cushion under your tush 55 Leather, essentially 56 Genie portrayer Barbara 57 It gets spilled at wild parties 59 Trust in, with “on” 60 Protected, to seamen 61 Barrie’s Wendy, e.g. 64 Org. for sweaty men in shorts FROM PAGE 18

CALENDAR spersed with premiere performances of three winning contemporary pieces from this year’s national composition contest. Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. 7 p.m. First Unitarian Universalist Church, 4190 Front St., Hillcrest. Visit and


Red Dress Party San Diego Recovery Pool Party: Trade the red dress for a swimsuit for this recovery pool party featuring DJ Aaron Elvis, a pop-up shop of designer swimwear and more. No cover. Noon–5 p.m. Kimpton Hotel Palomar San Diego, 1047 Fifth Ave., Downtown. Visit


Trashy Daddy Disco: Happy hour all night long plus throwback disco music and videos. 6 p.m.–close. Urban MO’s 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


Fifth annual Taste of Mission Hills: Over 20 local establishments will participate in the Taste of Mission Hills. A free Old Town Trolley will transport tasters between venues. $25. Visit


Women in Defense San Di-



things like “I don’t see color” is a huge part of the problem. Recently I walked into a local store that had one of those signs at the entrance that read, “Leave all bags and backpacks at front counter.” I carry a “man purse” with me just about everywhere and do not like having it out of my sight and am not a fan of stores that have those rules. I felt like being a “rebel” that day and walked into the store carrying my bag. At least three employees approached me to ask if I needed assistance and after I finished shopping and was waiting in line to check-out, a very friendly, smiling manager approached me to say, “You know, we normally don’t allow customers to carry their bags in the store, but you don’t look like someone we have to worry about. Next time, if you get the chance, check it in. Thanks for shopping!” While this is a very simplistic example, it shows how I as a white person benefitted from a system — an unspoken system — that teaches us to fear people of color. I am almost certain that if my skin had not been white, I would have been (rudely) approached and told to take my bag to the counter at once or leave. I’ve learned to acknowledge the privilege my skin color gives me, but simply recognizing our privilege and going on with our lives is not enough. Fellow white people, we must work together to support our black and brown friends and loved ones. We must speak up every chance we get and continue to call out other white folks when they make racist jokes, comments, decisions, or actions. A white friend recently told me that I was being aggressive when we were conversing

CALENDAR / COMMUNITY VOICES ego annual meeting: This yearly event will feature guest speaker Col. Roberta Shea, Commanding Officer, I Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group. It kicks off with a welcome followed by president’s remarks, award presentations and the guest speaker. Tickets start at $15 for members and $20 for non-members. 4:30–6:30 p.m. Courtyard Marriot Liberty Station, 2591 Laning Road. Visit HRC Connect: This month’s Connect will focus on faith and spirituality. There will be a panel discussion and Q&A on religion and spirituality for the LGBTQ community and allies. 6:30–9 p.m. Uptown Tavern, 1236 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


Gay Resort Dr. | Cathedral City (760) 324-1350 | (800) 472-0836





Sept. 30 to Oct. 2


Jimmy James in ‘Impressionism’: Vocal/visual impersonator Jimmy James performs voices and songs of icons on stage and screen including Cher, Elvis, Adele, Judy Garland and more. His show “Impressionism” blends acting, music, comedy and art for a unique performance. Tickets are $20 for reserved seating with a $15 food/drink minimum per person. Doors open at 6 p.m. with the show at 8 p.m. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit —Compiled by Jen Van Tieghem. Email calendar items to or jen@

about racial justice issues. Now, my tone was exactly the same as it was when we speak about LGBTQ issues, or the presidential election, or a hundred other issues, but because it was a topic that made them uncomfortable, I was called aggressive. This friend then told me that I shouldn’t speak so openly about racial justice because it might embarrass someone who just needs to learn. As I said in a recent Facebook post: “I’m much more worried about helping our black and brown friends who are dying every day and than I am about making a white person feel a little uncomfortable.” Why am I writing about this topic in an LGBT publication, in a column that usually focuses on LGBT issues? Because this is an LGBT issue. People of color are a part of our community and we can’t say we believe in equality unless we believe in full equality for everyone. We don’t do social justice work in silos. We all need to work together to make this world a better place. Thanks for listening — now let’s take action.

Getting Out With Benny

San Diego’s favorite gay nightclub, Rich’s San Diego in Hillcrest, turns 25 this weekend! The club will celebrate its 25th anniversary all weekend long with three amazing parties. The main event is on Saturday, Oct. 1, with a live performance by Christina Milian. More information and tickets at —Benny Cartwright is the director of community outreach at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. He can be reached at 619692-2077 ext. 106 or outreach@ Note: Byline photo by Rob Lucas Modern Aperture Photography.t




GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 30 - Oct. 13, 2016


FUND2WEAR who has been bartending for four decades, said while he can still “out-ring the best of them,” the long days behind the bar were getting harder on his body. He and Arts soon realized that their backgrounds meshed with their individual long-held goals; one thing led to another and now they are managing partners of this new venture. “We compared our combined knowledge and experience and just made it work,” Arts said, adding that after nearly six months of jumping the hurdles required of a new business, they just officially launched their website. “I’ve always wanted to do a T-shirt company,” Phillips said. “But if I’m going to do something I have to give back to my community because I believe what comes around goes around.” Phillips said his original idea for a company name was “Fun to Wear,” but while they contemplated their mission together, the name soon morphed into “Fund2Wear,” which highlights several aspects of their business model in one short, easy to remember name. Since the production process is print-on-demand, the company’s entire “storefront” is online, meaning Phillips and Arts don’t need to deal with stock, overruns, warehouses or even failed ideas. If a design doesn’t sell, they simply remove it from the website. Most images are transferred to the products using direct-togarment (DTG) ink printing, others by using an “all over dye sublimation,” where the ink is printed to a sheet and then transferred to the garment. Charities that get involved with Fund2Wear don’t have to “pay a dime,” Phillips said, all they want is for them to direct people to the website. No matter how long you have lived in San Diego, there is a good chance that you know of “Big Mike,” because Phillips is no stranger to philanthropy. In the 1990s, Phillips and his friend Nigel Mayer started “Ordinary Miracles,” a nonprofit that raised money for local HIV, cancer and pet charities by asking their fellow LGBT bartenders to donate their tips for one day out of the year. “Nigel told me, ‘People in our community don’t really think bartenders give back to the community,’” Phillips said. “We raised over $300,000 in five years.” Though those particular miracles ended after a time, Phillips has continued his philanthropic work through his annual “Big Mike birthday bashes.” Next January will mark his 60th, and Phillips wants it to be his biggest yet. In the meantime, he has found a way to help the community give back on a daily basis. Every time someone buys a T-shirt, coffee cup, pillow, tote bag or a pair of leggings from the Fund2Wear website, one of the many charities they’ve partnered with will get a portion of that sale. Charities currently aligned with Fund2Wear include The Trevor Project, Being Alive San Diego, Imperial Court de San Diego, International Court/Jose Julio Saeeia Student Scholarship, San Diego LGBT Community

Center, Christie’s Place, Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Harvey Milk Foundation, Harvey Milk/Nicole Murray Ramirez Scholarship Program, Stepping Stone and the Beagle Freedom Project. A graphic designer and web developer by trade, Arts worked with Dallas area nonprofits for years and was also the art director for a large textile manufacturing company in San Diego. Like Phillips, he was ready to make a difference. “I really wanted to do something that makes me happy but I’d rather focus on something that makes me feel good about what I am doing,” Arts said. “If I can actually do it in a more socially responsible way, then why not take a portion of everything we do and give it back to others who are trying to make a difference?” The products on the Fund2Wear website are where the “fun” comes in. , Arts and Phillips are longtime photographers, so their artwork adorns many of the products, as well as the work of local artists. In addition, they have a few special lines that they expect to catch people’s attention, including an exclusive collection of shirts designed with DTG images of Empress Lala Too’s personal jewelry. “I always wanted to do a fashion show with gorgeous guys with muscles in bathing suits and actually have jewels like [Lala’s] for them to wear in the fashion

(l to r) Tali Lopez (with his dog Hamilton) is one of the local emerging artists putting his artwork on Fund2Wear garments; (Photo by Big Mike) Big Mike reveals how classy Lala Too's jewelry on a T-shirt looks with a jacket. (Photo by Eric Arts) show … so then I thought, maybe we can put them on T-shirts,” Phillips said, explaining the inspiration for the exclusive line. “They are fun, they’re campy … and I want people to know it is not just for girls.” The jewelry tees can even stand in as eveningwear for a gala; just throw on a nice jacket and you’re set. Phillips said the Tshirts were imagined for the guy who wants to “stand out, have fun, be campy and show your creativity.” They assure customers that every piece they carry will be unique and want people to return to the website often, since designs will be constantly added,

especially around holidays. As artists themselves, Phillips and Arts hope to empower local artists and are currently working with three: Jeff Amante, Trish Amante and Tali Lopez. “The whole concept of this is to pay it forward — not only with the charities, but the artists we hope to help and promote,” Phillips said. “We want to get their work out there and as we grow we can do special events and art shows for them. We really want to stress that there are a lot of people who are talented in our community they just need a little help.” Their immediate plan is to

be churning out products by mid-October to take advantage of holiday shopping. By next year, they hope to have employees running the nuts and bolts of the company so that Arts and Phillips can focus on expanding the business and its concepts. Currently, Arts is carrying the weight of all the techie work behind the scenes with both the website and production, and Phillips is out in the community, spreading awareness about the business while vetting nonprofits and artists to work with. “We want to be known for our creativity, our positive thinking and the fact that we are moving forward with other people,” Phillips said. “It’s not just about us; we want to include as many people as possible to be able to grow with us and because of us; and it is because of them helping us, that we grow. So it is a community effort building our business, building their brands, building up awareness and raising money for charity. It’s a real win-win-win situation.” Investors take note: The men are looking for serious investors and they also hope to launch a crowdsourcing campaign soon to assist with seed money. To browse their product line or make a purchase, visit —Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at

Gay san diego 09 30 16  
Gay san diego 09 30 16