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Volume 7 Issue 18 Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

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2 COMEDY

‘Chosen family’

Truman wants YOU!

Kathy Griffin comes to town

Stepping Stone to celebrate the life of Ross Taylor Morgan M. Hurley | Editor

Local activists recruiting LGBT change-makers

3 COMMUNITY

Morgan M. Hurley | Editor On the surface, Shawn VanDiver and Kristen Kavanaugh couldn’t be more different; VanDiver is a straight, white, animated and often raucous former enlisted Navy deck sailor and a single dad; Kavanaugh is a lesbian of color, a calm, cool and collected former Marine Corps finance officer, and married. When you scratch that surface, however, you find they have a lot more in common than meets the eye. Serendipitously thrown together as colleagues, the two became fast friends; they provide balance to each other and are committed to effecting change across the globe — together.

What’s in the Archives?

8

DINING

Hidden in Hillcrest

Kristen Kavanaugh and Shawn VanDiver pose on the jetway of Vice President Joe Biden's plane. (Courtesy Shawn VanDiver) Kavanaugh and VanDiver are the co-chairs of the local chapter of the Truman National Security Project, a community of likeminded, progressive individuals focused on innovative policies and political advocacy with the

overall goal of “a safer, more prosperous world.” Launched in 2004, the Truman Project is a 501(c)4 nonprofit organization based in Washington, D.C., and

The community of Stepping Stone of San Diego recently lost a great friend of the family. Ross Taylor was a former board member of the decadesold residential recovery home that caters to the LGBT community, where he also selflessly volunteered for nearly 32 years. Taylor died at his Lakeside residence July 27. He was 84. Stepping Stone will be having a celebration of Taylor’s life Sept. 10 at their facility in City Heights. A native of Colorado, Taylor joined the U.S. Navy at фage 17 and served during the Korean and Vietnam wars as a submariner. He retired as a Master Chief in 1976, deciding to make San Diego his home. Soon after retiring, Taylor met his soul mate, Alice M. Henry-Taylor, while the two were students at Grossmont College. The two soon came inseparable.

see Truman, pg 15

see Stone, pg 16

Labor of love

w THEATER

Industrial Grind Coffee owners are partners in business and life By Dave Fidlin

A classy, boot-kicking musical

Index Community

3

Opinion

6

Classifieds

12

Puzzle

14

As Kathy Hansen and Barbara Jeanine prepared to retire from the military in 2010, an inevitable question percolated in the years, months, weeks and days leading up to that milestone day: Now what? As Hansen and Jeanine — a longtime couple who wed in 2013 — plotted out their future together, they said they knew they aspired to have a second chapter that was as rich in meaning and satisfaction as their years of service in the Navy.

“I don’t know how to sit still,” Hansen said with a laugh, as she reflected on the pondering process. As it turned out, coffee was the answer to the question. Industrial Grind was birthed in early 2011, months after Hansen and Jeanine closed out their respective 30- and 20-year careers in the military. The operation grew into its current state when Hansen and Jeanine purchased an established coffee shop, Jitters

see Partners, pg 13

Contact us Editorial/Letters 619-961-1960 morgan@sdcnn.com

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FEATURE

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

‘LGBT rumors gone amok’ Kathy Griffin’s #LikeABoss tour comes to town Morgan M. Hurley | Editor Getting on a phone call with the two-time Emmy and Grammy Award winning Kathy Griffin is like being caught up in a tornado; she has a monologue already prepared and if you’re lucky, you might get a word in edgewise. That was the case last week when I got the opportunity to speak to the comedic great. Once I was finally able to get that first word in, the banter continued until a publicist’s voice broke in on the line, announcing there was time for “one final question.”

“Yeah Morgan, make it count,” Griffin said. My last question, about Anderson Cooper, emitted a more serious response from the whacky comic, but it was the conversation that took place in the previous 20 minutes that was chock full of comedy bits, f-bombs, laughter and lots of fast talking and was way more entertainment than I can share in this space. Which means you’ll just have to go catch her act when Griffin visits San Diego County this month, bringing her #LikeABoss tour to California Center for the Arts,

in Escondido, Saturday, Sept. 10. She will perform in its sprawling, 1,523-seat concert hall where the interior design is described as “reminiscent of Europe’s classic performance venues and is considered to have the finest acoustics in San Diego County.” Escondido is but one stop on Griffin’s current 80-city tour. That’s a busy schedule for any performer, but the high-maintenance word flipper is also juggling appearances to support the Democratic ticket; dining out with her latest boyfriend, who is 18 years her junior (“Don’t you dare judge

gay-sd.com me,” she said); walking the red carpet at several shows; and she is even preparing to release a new book. “Celebrity Run Ins” is a stash of anecdotes about all the A-Listers she has met over her 20 years of being in the D-List limelight and will hit bookstores in November. Griffin’s opening telephone monologue with me was clearly a sneak peek into the book and undoubtedly her upcoming show, as she name-dropped “from all ages and eras” those she’d recently been in the presence of. “I have a celebrity Rolodex that is generations long and wide, which I am very proud of,” she said. To prove herself, she said in one recent evening she’d spent time with Sarah Silverman and Chelsea Handler at a Democratic fundraiser, and then had dinner with Dick Van Dyke, Susanne Somers and Steve Lawrence. A couple days later she was sharing the Greek Theater stage with Christina Aguilera, Cher and even Hillary Clinton. “A potential president, an Oscar winner and the chick who tells dick jokes,” she mused. For fans wondering why Griffin is skipping Downtown San Diego for Escondido, she said it all comes down to geography and some odd placements. “When you’re doing 80 cities, and honestly when you’ve been in the game this long, sometimes you can’t go back to certain markets that soon,” she said. “The night after I sold out Carnegie Hall for the third time, I was at the Horseshoe Casino in Elizabeth, Indiana. And by the way, I kinda bombed. I was like, ‘Wait a minute, 24 hours ago I was standing on stage at Carnegie Hall …” When she finds herself in front of non-supportive crowd, she said she “adjusts accordingly.” “I actually like doing that,” she said. “I love learning that every night, every show, every city, every market, every group and every audience is different.” Griffin said she is very excited about the Escondido show, and has “new, new, new, new stuff” and the current election cycle will certainly play a part in the fun. “It’s a comedy bonanza, even though it’s frightening for the country,” she said of the presidential race. Griffin said she’s known Donald Trump for nearly two decades, “because he shows up at the opening of an envelope,” and he has a good chunk of her new book. “The story I’m going to tell in my act is epic,” she said. “It’s about a day I spent at his stupid golf course with him and Liza Minnelli.” So supportive of the LGBT community she could almost be considered a poster-child, Griffin said her reason might sound too cliché to believe. “Honestly ever since I remember, I was the obnoxiously freckly homely little girl and nobody liked me. I would just find the little shy boy, sit with him and try to make him laugh. It was so organic. I just

Kathy Griffin performed on Pride’s main stage in 2008. (Courtesy San Diego Pride)

found the gay kid and the gay kid found me.” Four years of high school and theater didn’t help; in fact she said she was “picked on ruthlessly.” “I never got asked to the prom or homecoming,” she said. “And then when it came to the Sadie Hawkins dance, after like five guys turned me down, I just turned to my gay bestie and said ‘Let’s just go together,’ and so we did and we had the best time.” She’s still friends with him and officiated at his same-sex wedding just last year. The other reason she feels such a “kinship” with the LGBT community is even more personal. “As a female in stand-up comedy, you’re dealing with sexism and ageism and discrimination daily,” she explained. “The kind of discrimination that can keep you from making a living, so I can’t stand that with any person or any group. It’s just been a relationship that was natural and has grown.” Sliding in her finest Cher impersonation one more time, she shared what the movie and singing icon once said of the LGBT community. “I don’t know, the gays just make everything sparkle,” she said Cher told her. Griffin played San Diego Pride several years ago and remembers it well, mostly because of a Twitterstorm that ensued afterward regarding whether or not Lindsay Lohan was in the audience. “It was a total Twitter lie,” she said. “I wish I could say that she had come to see me at San Diego Pride, but it was either a look-alike, or just an LGBT rumor gone amok. I’m not above an LGBT rumor, I love them,” she said. Griffin will perform at California Center for the Arts, located at 340 N. Escondido Blvd., Escondido. Tickets start at $45 and are available online, by phone or at the box office (no fees). For more information or to buy tickets, visit artcenter. org/event/kathy-grif in. —Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at morgan@sdcnn.com.t


COMMUNITY VOICES

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Donations and recent happenings Out of the Archives Archives Staff We are proud and happy to have contributed to the city of San Diego’s LGBTQ Context Statement. To read the preliminary report, visit tinyurl.com/ hhx6uqb. If you see anything lacking or incorrect in the statement, please reach out to Kelley Stanco, the city’s senior planner/HRB liaison, at 619-2366545 or KStanco@sandiego.gov.

What’s in the Archives?

Some of the interesting material received through our doors in the last month includes all of the remembrances that were left at the base of the flagpole on Normal Street in the days following the Orlando tragedy. We will process and preserve the five boxes of candles, cards, teddy bears, notes, poems and other tributes. Thanks to the Hillcrest Business Association for collecting the materials and entrusting us with this sorrowful, but important, piece of our history. An unusual addition to the Archives is a newspaper box from the Gay & Lesbian Times. This is the standing plastic box that was placed on the street and held free copies of the latest edition of the Gay & Lesbian Times newspaper while it was still in print. The box nicely complements our collection of the Gay & Lesbian Times, a very important community periodical that published from 1988 until 2010. Thanks to Benny Cartwright and Mat Wahlstrom for their help in securing the box for us.

Boxes of items left at Orlando vigil await processing (Photo by Walt Meyer) A T-shirt from Tel Aviv Pride was a recent gift from Bruce Abrams who attended the festival in Israel as part of a U.S. delegation. Lisa Lamont and Angela Risi of San Diego State continue to photograph a selection of our large collection of over 1,200 T-shirts from local and international LGBTQ pride events, campaigns, and organizations. Thanks to a grant from Cal Humanities, our collaborative project, “Out on the Left Coast: San Diego LGBTQ History,” will use an online interactive website to document San Diego’s LGBTQ movement, set to launch in 2017. The SDSU crew is also repacking the shirts for enhanced preservation. Thanks to Lisa and Angela for their hard work.

We are proud of the efforts of Nicole Murray-Ramirez in pushing for the naming of a Naval vessel for Navy veteran and gay hero Harvey Milk. The Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus had a naming ceremony Aug. 22 in San Francisco and Murray-Ramirez was there. Author Lillian Faderman is still looking for more people who knew Milk when he was stationed in San Diego in the early 1950s and perhaps while he lived here briefly in the early 1970s. Milk apparently went to the Brass Rail and may have used some of the locker clubs Downtown. If you have any information at all, please get in touch!

History tours

Our Hillcrest LGBT History walking tours continue to be popular and the Sept. 17 tour is filling up fast. Visit lambda-archives.ticketleap.com to get your tickets before it sells out. On the last tour, someone asked why Lambda Archives was called Lambda. We didn’t have a very complete response at the time other than the Greek letter lambda was adopted by numerous LGBTQ groups (e.g “Lambda Legal,” and “Lambda Literary,”) as an overarching term, seen by some as less cumbersome than LGBTQIA or used by some older organizations to mask that they were gay or lesbian. As luck would have it, while processing a collection, one of our archivists came across a pamphlet written by Doug Moore that explained the origins of the Greek letter’s connection to the LGBTQ community. The Greek letter lambda was first adopted by The Gay Activists Alliance of New York City in 1969. The Gay Activists wanted an easy to recognize symbol that could become a symbol for LGBTQ rights. They chose the lambda because in chemistry it symbolizes a complete exchange of energy. It has also been said to stand for “liberation.” Thanks to Eddie Rey and the San Diego LGBT Visitors Center for promoting the walking tours. To learn about all there is to do on the queer side of San Diego, stop by and see Eddie at 502 University Ave.

Volunteers

Wendy Sue Biegeleisen continues to volunteer at Lambda Archives every Thursday afternoon. “It is so much fun to go through old pictures and recognize folks and events,” Wendy said. “It would be even more fun if others joined me. And the air-conditioning is great!” Bernie Cox just became a volunteer and is working on our membership database. Are you a member? Would you like to be? Membership fees are an important part of supporting our efforts to collect and preserve all aspects of the LGBTQ+ history of San Diego and Imperial Counties and the Northern Baja California region. One of our younger volunteers just created an iPad signin sheet to help us keep track of visitors and volunteer hours

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South Bay Pride

We will have a booth at the beautiful South Bay Pride at Chula Vista Marina on Sept. 10 from noon until 8 p.m. Stop by, say “Hi,” and learn how you can be part of the Archives. —Lambda Archives, a 501(c) (3) dedicated to collecting, preserving and teaching the history of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in San Diego and the Northern Baja California region, is located at 4545 Park Blvd., in University Heights. To learn more, stop in or visit their website at lambdaarchives.org.t

A note from the archivist It was brought to our attention that during my “History of Pride” speech at the Stonewall Rally this year, we inadvertently hurt the drag community of San Diego. In using the narrative that Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson were trans women of color, we simplified their identities and their own respective relationships to their gender identities, which were always complex and always shifting. Though identifying Sylvia and Marsha as trans women of color was correct — and is the language used and accepted by the larger LGBTQ community, and specifically, trans advocacy groups — this had the unintended consequence of erasing their simultaneous identities as drag queens, an important and central part of both of their lives. I want to apologize to the drag community for glossing over the vital role that drag queens have played throughout the history of Pride and to posthumously apologize to Sylvia and Marsha for simplifying their gender identities into four words when their genders and their lives were so much larger and contained multitudes. —Jen LaBarbera

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GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

South Bay Pride is here: Sept. 10 South Bay Alliance Dae Elliott This year has been an amazing year with many highs and many lows. The presidential election is just around the corner and our nation is grappling with how we are to move forward on many fronts. South Bay Pride was founded to give a voice to the many LGBTQ here in South San Diego County and claim safe space for all of us and our allies celebrating diversity, equality and love for all. We are proud to be able to have some of our all-time favorite bands and DJs entertaining us on three different stages, all surrounded by the amazing views and cool breezes of the San Diego Bay. The ever-fantastic Laura Jane is emceeing on the Port of San Diego stage. The world’s first LGBTQ mariachi band, Mariachi Arcoiris de Los Angeles will be there along with the All-Star Candye Kane Tribute Band, featuring some of her former band members and Sue Palmer, Laura Chavez, Evan Yearsley, Thomas Yearsley,

COMMUNITY VOICES Jonny Viau, Casey Hensley and Laura Jane. This extraordinary group of musicians will be giving homage to one of San Diego’s most famous and beloved singers, Candye Kane, whom we lost to pancreatic cancer this last May. Candye was always on the frontlines fighting for LGBTQ rights and will be miss her greatly! As always, we have some of the great local bands and singers such as Jessie May, the Social Animal, Ingénue and The Tighten Ups rounding out the Port’s stage lineup. But it doesn’t stop there, as Tomas Serrano has lined up an awesome day for us at the Electronica Stage filled with some of the best DJs around! Beach party here we come with DJ KA, DJ Fariba, DJ Dida, DJ Taj, Oscar Del Amor, Tristan D (UK – Serious Records), Karine Hannah (Cash Money Records), and Mike Taylor with DJ IDeaL. This exciting line up is non-stop dancing, beach, great food and drinks for a can’t-miss event. And still there is more as the Industry, along with the Lemon Grove Punks, are presenting the third stage stacked with exciting local talent of Strange Creature, Dexter Riley Xperiment, Bad Kids, Hang Zero’s, the Pope Virgins, Lindsay and the White Lies, Fake Tides, Pathetic Society, Nerve Control and their headliner, Adult Crash! There is something for everyone this year! Artisan Alley has grown and gives us a wonderful display of

our talented arts and crafts again this year along with the AIDS Memorial Quilt of San Diego and an Orlando Art Installation by James Nocito, honoring those lost this year at the Pulse Nightclub in June. Bring your chairs and beach towels. Come ready to hang out at the beach or on the green lawns for a day of affirmation and community. Visit our exciting vendor and exhibitors along with our other activities. There will be kayaking, even a yoga paddleboard demonstration and more! All for free, although of course, we will be asking for donations by those that can to help continue to keep this great Pride event going. Come join us! Keep on the look out on our webpage or Facebook as we have an incredible drop-in act coming down the pike! Don’t miss it. We want to break last year’s 15k attendance. Help us get the word out. Invite and share with everyone so that we can have the best South Bay Pride yet. Visit SouthBayPride. org and/or on Facebook/ SouthBayPride. — Dae Elliott is a founding executive committee member and the current executive director of South Bay Alliance, a 501(c)3 nonprofit and organizer of the annual South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival. Contact her at southbayalliance@gmail.com. t

gay-sd.com

The ABCs of couples counseling Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel Over the years, many people have asked me a lot of questions about couples counseling. For this column, I’ve boiled those questions down to three, which I call the ABCs of couples counseling: A. What can couples counseling do for my partner and I (the possibilities)? B: What should we expect (the content)? C: When is the best time to start (the timing)? At a 1995 workshop I attended, psychologist Stephen Levine said, “Being in a committed relationship is the most intense therapy possible, because it will bring up all your unresolved shit … even all that stuff you thought you’d handled.” As a psychotherapist, his statement hit me hard. “Really?” I wondered, “Is that true?” Twenty-one years later, after working with hundreds of LGBT and straight couples, I can unequivocally say, “Yes, it’s true.” It’s a lot of work to create a happy, loving, ongoing relationship. There’s this illusion that, “once I fi nd my soul mate, it will all be so easy.” Not true. If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you know that no matter how wonderful your partner is or was, problems are inevitable. ● You feel like your (formerly) loving, attentive partner doesn’t listen to you or respect you anymore. ● You’re both arguing and in confl ict a lot. ● You feel disconnected, like you’re not in love anymore. ● There’s a lack of physical and verbal affection. ● Anger, an affair, jealousy or a lack of trust are hurting your relationship. “What can be done about this?” you may be asking. Let’s take a look at those ABC questions.

A. What can couples counseling do for my partner and I?

Most people want to know what’s possible as a result of investing their time and money into counseling. What are reasonable and realistic goals? ● Better communication with your partner. ● Deeper connection. ● Feeling loved and “in love” again. ● More physical and emotional intimacy. ● Disconnecting from your past history so you can create a new future together. Good couples counseling gives you and your partner the skills you need to improve your communication and connection as well as practical tools to solve problems and resolve confl ict.

B. What should we expect?

Contrary to popular opinion, your initial experience with couples counseling may be one of discomfort. The counseling will probably bring issues to the surface that you and your partner have been avoiding for some time. That said, there is often a palpable sense of relief that “the cards are on the table” and no more secrets are being kept. You don’t need to keep complaining to your best friend about your partner, now you can talk with her/him directly about what’s been bugging you. This is often accompanied by a huge drop in “relationship tension,” and you can stop walking on eggshells around each other, carefully avoiding the issues that just drive you crazy. The door to happiness has been opened, and even if you can’t walk through it yet, you can see that possibilities are there. It’s the job of the counselor to help you and your partner talk about difficult stuff. If you could do this on your own, you wouldn’t need counseling.

see KIMMEL, pg 5


COMMUNITY VOICES

gay-sd.com

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

FROM PAGE 4

KIMMEL The value of paying someone skilled in relationship psychology to help you is that they are getting paid to do the hard stuff: ask you about things that upset both of you, facilitate discussions between the two of you when you both want to wring each other’s necks and teach you skills that necessitate changing some of your old communication patterns that, in all honesty, you don’t really want to change. Most of us want our partner to change, but we sure as hell don’t want to. This is normal. We think we’re right and he/she is wrong. In couples counseling, no one is wrong and no one is to blame; it’s a joint responsibility. It is the couple that is the focus of the therapy, not you and not her/him. A good counselor won’t take sides or get sucked into your story or your partner’s, the goal is not to validate that either one of you is “right.� The goal is to help you both be happier together.

C. When is the best time to start?

There are different points of view on when it may be helpful. Some people believe that if you need couples therapy early on in a relationship — when it’s supposed to be fun and easy — then it’s the wrong relationship. For some of us, relationships are almost always easy at the beginning. They only get tough later on, when the glitter wears off, you’re no longer able to be on your best behavior and you start seeing each other’s worst qualities. For some people, relationships are hardest at the beginning. I have clients that, once they make it through the fi rst few months of a relationship, it all falls into place. Their anxiety and fears are strongest at the beginning, when they don’t really know the other person and it’s hard to trust someone you don’t really know. I’d also like to address the thorny, but important question: How can you tell if your counseling isn’t helping? If nothing seems to be getting better after three or four sessions, then the strategy or the counselor’s approach may not be a good fit for you and your partner. Instead of bailing, bring this up to your counselor. They may agree that it’s not a good fit and can refer you to someone who might be. Or they can talk with you and your partner and see if another strategy would be more helpful. If you’re not honest with your counselor, they can’t help you very much. If you’re unhappy with the work, speak up! After all, you’re paying for it. Make it worth your while. —Michael Kimmel can be reached at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.t

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OPINION / COMMUNITY VOICES

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

gay-sd.com

Showing up Back Out with Benny Ben Cartwright

Guest Editorial East County church opens hearts, minds and doors By Hillary Whittington On Aug. 21, the pastor at Foothills United Methodist Church in East County took a leap of faith when they decided to present my family’s story to the congregation. I nervously wondered how the conservative and very traditional members of this church would react to our YouTube video being played during the service — which chronicles our young son Ryland’s journey from female to male — and later to my message of love and acceptance of my transgender son. It was a big deal and I knew it was a risk that could come with some repercussions. The LGBTQ-inclusive event that followed the church service was a brunch and book signing hosted by the Reconciling Ministries Committee. A newly formed group of loving and accepting church members, the main purpose of the Reconciling Ministries Committee is to ensure the church is inclusive of all people, regardless of age, race, gender identity, marital status, physical condition, sexual orientation, ethnic background or economic situation. The group’s members vary in age and background, but share the common goal of making Foothills a welcoming church to the LGBTQ community. Over 100 people packed into Foothills’ King Hall to enjoy the warm brunch prepared and served by the committee, listen to Pastor Eric bless our family, and hear me speak candidly about our journey. Many from the senior generation commented that their “hearts were EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 morgan@sdcnn.com CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Ken Williams, x102 Jeff Clemetson, x119 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Charlene Baldridge Dae Elliott Dave Fidlin Michael Kimmel Margie M. Palmer Frank Sabatini Jr. Lambda Archives Staff

changed” by the event. Many folks in the crowd waited in line to buy my book, “Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child With No Strings Attached,” and to tell me how moved they were by my message. Some said they hoped “God continued to bless us.” ars I was brought to tears ut many times throughout xthe day, as our past exeperience with many rers, ligious family members, friends, and acquaintances has not been soo encouraging. We have se unfortunately lost close relatives and friends due to our decision to support our child in his gender identity. Sadly, we no longer speak to my closest cousin, who asked to remove Ryland from her wedding as a flower girl back in 2012. Other friends have avoided us completely, with statements like “I will pray for your family,” while one mom from Ryland’s transitional kindergarten class told me, “I don’t know how you have raised your children … but my husband and I have raised our children to believe in the Lord.” As you might imagine, the most common response from devout Christians has not always been a good one, and for this reason, I have always feared the outcome of an event of this nature. However, I was truly shocked to see the amount of unconditional love and support that poured in from the congregation of the Foothills congregation, especially because many of them are from an older generation who had not known me personally prior to this event. The most poignant part of our story is that the lead pastor, Rev. Dr. Eric Smith, is a respected figure I have known all my life. WEB & SOCIAL MEDIA Jen Van Tieghem, x118 jen@sdcnn.com COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

Rev. Eric was my pastor as a young child in Riverside County; he counseled my husband and I before he presided over our wedding in 2005; and he also generously drove with our family to Oregon so he could give the sermon at my only brother’s funeral in 2006. watc He even watched Ryland move through his “tomboy” stages prior to transition. During the time I was grappling with Ryland’s g gender identity, I received a phone call from Eric eexplaining he was being m moved from his church in Ir Irvine to the Methodist ch church in La Mesa, only mi minutes from our home. In my mind, this move was absolutely by God’s doing It came during a time ing. that I expected to never step foot in church again, as having a child belonging to the LGBTQ community came with fears of rejection and mistreatment. After last weekend, I can say that I am truly changed and I feel a renewed sense of faith in humanity. If it was possible for members of our church, some as old as 90 years old, to have changed their hearts and minds, then it is possible to keep opening hearts and minds all over the world. I believe God chose our family to raise Ryland and I will continue to be thankful for the supportive congregation at Foothills United Methodist Church. —Hillary Whittington is the author of “Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child With No Strings Attached.” She and her husband Jeff live in La Mesa with Ryland and daughter Brynley. To watch their YouTube video, visit tinyurl.com/oknjlhm.t

ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962 accounting@sdcnn.com

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WEB DESIGN Kim Espinoza espinozawebworks.com kim@kespinoza.com

SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958 mike@sdcnn.com

DISTRIBUTION Gay San Diego is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2016. All rights reserved.

ADVERTISING CONSULTANTS Andrew Bagley, x106 Sloan Gomez, x104 Lisa Hamel, x107 Lionel Talaro, x113 Todd Zukowski, x106

PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951 david@sdcnn.com

With Labor Day this weekend, many students have already gone back to school, and if they haven’t, they likely will next week. This time of year is always nostalgic for me, as I spent the first 13 years of my adult life being involved in higher education, either as a student or as an employee at San Diego State. And while I still visit SDSU a few times a week to use the gym and pool complex there (which reminds me of a funny story I’ll share later), I do miss working with college students and their energy. When people do ask me how they can get involved, the methods I share may be different for each person, but the one response that is always the same is: Show up. At SDSU, when I entered as a freshman in 1998, I showed up to the LGBT Student Union. Through that, I learned that there was a lot of work to do on campus to make the university a more LGBT-friendly place. I kept showing up for many years and through those experiences, became connected to outside organizations and other folks in the community. That was my path. For someone who is just starting out with their involvement in the community, the path will be different, but I will always share the same advice about showing up. If there is an organization one wants to be part of — show up! If there is an event one wants to help make better — show up! If one wants to work toward wiping away an inequality — show up! I love to sit down with community members and map out what their interests and reasons for getting involved are. I encourage folks who are thinking about getting involved to really think about what it is they want to do. Are they interesting in helping LGBTQ youth have a better present and future? Do they want to help end homelessness? Are they interested in being part of community events that bring people together? By figuring out exactly what and why one wants to get involved, the better they can focus on finding the right opportunity. One of the biggest pitfalls I have seen for those trying to get involved is over-extending themselves. Again, it’s kind of like trying to take on multiple New Year’s resolutions in one year (it’s really hard to try to lose weight, save money, and spend more time with family, all at once!). Taking on one or two involvement opportunities and really stepping up and getting involved is the best way to get started. Getting involved at 18 years old literally changed the path of my life. It exposed me to so many people, organizations, and community needs and I have since dedicated my life to serving the LGBTQ and social justice communities. While not everyone needs to dedicate their life to the cause, getting involved is a great way to change perspective and give back. For anyone who is thinking about finding ways to get involved, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I’d love to sit down with you over tea or wine to talk about it and steer you in the right direction.

OPINIONS/LETTERS: Gay San Diego encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email either to morgan@sdcnn.com and include your phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher or staff.

SUBMISSIONS/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@sdcnn.com. For breaking news and investigative story ideas contact the editor by phone or email.

see Benny, pg 12

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GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

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DINING

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

Hidden in plain sight Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr.

Hubby and I skipped the deli sandwiches in lieu of the Mexican goodies, which included an order of four chorizo rolled tacos Aispuro made by hand once we ordered them. They were fried to a light crisp and buried beneath a classic stockpile of shredded lettuce and cheese. The meat inside was reasonably spiced, offering ed to a bit more zing compared their beef and chicken counterparts we’ve all come to know. We proceeded to a couple uple of soft tacos; one of them ground beef, and the other polloo asado using seasoned chicken breast that was moist and flavorful. The meat in the beef taco, however, was

A three-dimensional sign perched on a metal eave above the front door spells “Cabais.” The building’s façade is nondescript, and the remaining title of the business, “Mexi-Deli,” is stated only online, hence the reasons I’ve passed the place a zillion times without realizing it is home to a small family-run eatery that makes much of its food from scratch. Owners Silvia Cabuto and her husband, Martin Aispuro, combined the first ames three letters of their surnames nt for branding the restaurant ars when they opened it 11 years ts, ago. Unlike most taco joints, nu Cabais weaves into its menu atypical offerings such as deli sandwiches, an Asian chicken salad, and Cajun-spiced pork roasted onsite. Torta rolls and other sandwich breads are sourced from California d Baking Co. And their cold cuts are sliced in-house from whole turkey breastss A ground beef and pollo asado taco with and beef roasts supplied beans and rice (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) by Costco.

A World Premiere Political Satire Just in Time for the Campaign Season! BY

Herbert Siguenza

DIRECTED BY

Sam Woodhouse

SEPTEMBER 15 - OCTOBER 9 IN THE LYCEUM SPACE

Book Tickets Now! 619.544.1000 | SDREP.ORG | Lyceum Theatre | Horton Plaza

pureed peanuts, a recipe from her native central-Mexico city of Zacatecas that smoothes the edge of the fiery chili pepper. overcooked to the point of turnThe deep-red salsa made with ing dark. If spices and liquid roasted chilies was actually a were used in the simmering little hotter. We complemented the taprocess, they had vanished long cos with a side of partially before the beef was folded into smashed refried beans, which their pillowy-soft corn tortillas. A foursome of salsas in sported decent heart-and-soul squeeze bottles came to the flavor, plus Mexican rice sweetrescue. The habanero sauce ened nicely with corn and with its vibrant, orange color diced carrots. A torta sandwich layered was especially luscious. Cabuto said it contains with the aforementioned roast pork, romaine rom lettuce and jack cheese w was substantial and zesty. Although Al I would have nev never guessed the meat w was rubbed with Cajun sspices since the chip potle sauce inside the ssandwich took preceden The torta included dence. sid of house-made potato a side salad revealing crunchy bits pickle and celery — the of pickles all-American picnic variety nobody can Chorizo live without at sumrolled tacos mer barbecues. Cabais offers healthy choices as well, “edg fitness lunch” such as the “edge featuring gril grilled chicken breast, bla black beans gu and guacamole — or a plat plate of grilled mah served with mahi sa sautéed veggies a rice. But as and w witnessed we f from a few gym rat ducking into rats Cab Cabais during our it’ difficult to meal, it’s Roast pork torta resist ro rolled tacos and heaping plates of carne

gay-sd.com

Cabais Mexi-Deli 3952 Fourth Ave. (Hillcrest) 619-299-3525 cabaismexi.com Prices: Salads, $4.99 to $7.49; tortas and deli sandwiches, $6.99 to $7.59; tacos, burritos, quesadillas, tostadas, enchiladas and plates, $2.49 to $8.99 asada nachos when they’re winking from the menu. A mango agua fresca was our approach to puritan eating, providing a nutritious cooldown on this warm, muggy day with its unadulterated, tropical flavor and lush consistency. There are usually three choices that change periodically, with cantaloupe and watermelon also in the offing during our visit. Mexican beers by the bottle are available too. Seating inside is limited to about four tables plus a counter with stools along the front windows. In addition, there’s a small side patio that easily goes unnoticed. Yet for those who have overlooked Cabais despite frequenting Hillcrest, your landmarks are a tattoo parlor to the right of it, and Kous Kous Moroccan Bistro and Martinis Above Fourth on the left. —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@san. rr.com.t


DINING

Casting call: Katie Hance of Levity Entertainment Group in Los Angeles is looking for chefs in Southern California who specialize in dishes involving burgers, bacon, cheese, or carnival-style foods to compete in the Food Network series, “Guy’s Grocery Games.” She is also reaching out to dads who would like to compete with their sons or daughters (18 years or older) for a special Father’s Day episode. For more information, send an email to khance@leg-corp.com.

Civico 1845 in Little Italy is donating all proceeds from the sale of a particular pasta dish to the Protezione Civile disaster relief agency to help victims recover from the devastating earthquake that recently struck Amatrice, Italy. The dish, pasta

alla Amatriciana, is a simple construct of spaghetti, tomato sauce, guanciale (cured pork) and Pecorino Romano cheese. Available for lunch and dinner, it sells for $16 and will be available until Sept. 12. 1845 India St., 619-880-3761, civico1845.com.

Proceeds from this pasta dish will help earthquake victims in Italy (Courtesy J. Walcher Communications)

In celebration of its sixmonth anniversary, Royal Stone Bistro in Bankers Hill is kicking off a series of “pop-up” specials and commemorative entrees beginning Sept. 15, when dinner guests 21 years and older will receive a complimentary glass of wine. Other promotions, yet to be announced, continue daily until culminating with a six-course dinner paired with Central Coast wines, from 5–7 p.m., Sept. 18. The cost is $85 per person. 3401 First Ave., 619-738-8550, royalstonebistro.com. The ramen craze perseveres with a seventh location of Tajima, which is due to open by early October in North Park. Acclaimed local designer Paul Basile is giving the 1,500-square-foot space a “Japanese-Deco” look to match its exterior. The menu will mirror those at Tajima’s Hillcrest and East Village locations, offering the coveted ramen noodles made with several types of flour as well as fresh pork dumplings, Napa cabbage kimchi, assorted rice bowls and more. 3015 Adams Ave., tajimasandiego.com.

In the wake of a $12 million renovation of Hyatt Regency La Jolla comes DRIFT eat + drink, due to open by late September as a replacement to the hotel’s former main restaurant, Michael’s. The new concept will offer indoor-outdoor seating and all-day menus

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

highlighting regional and Baja cuisine in the complete absence of fried foods. Options will extend also to dishes that are gluten-free, vegetarian and vegan, in addition to craft beers and cocktails. 3777 La Jolla Village Drive, 858-552-1234, lajolla.regency.hyatt.com.

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Pictured: Raymond J. Lee and Jackie Chung; photo hoto by Jim Carmody

gay-sd.com

By

Directed By

MIKE LEW JAIME CASTAÑEDA

September 6 – October 2 Life is not a standardized test. BUY TODAY!

BUY TODAY! Tickets Start at $20.

A kombucha brewery arrives to Old Town (Photo by Sam Wells) A brewery and tasting room specializing in gut-nourishing kombucha has opened in Middletown under the name, Bootstrap Kombucha. Owners James Farnworth and Susan McMillion ferment the fizzy, probiotic teas in small

batches. They sell them in flavors such as apple-ginger, cherry, blueberry and beet. The drinks are non-alcoholic and they’re made with organic ingredients. 4085 Pacific Highway, Suite 105 B, 858-7469960, bootstrapkombucha.com.

LaJollaPlayhouse.org

“Scenically Enchanting! Critic’s Choice Kathleen Marshall choreographs the Los Angeles Times Thelustrous San Diego Union-Tribune comic action with panache!” Los Angeles Times

“A “ AW Winner! inne er!! Kathleen Marshall choreographs the “Beautiful! comic action with lustrous panache!” Balances the play’s delight Los Angeles Angel An geles gel es Times Times in language with hilarity.”

“Beautiful!

The San Diego Union-Tribune

Balances the play’s delight in language with hilarity.” The San Diego Union-Tribune

By William Shakespeare Directed by Kathleen Marshall

Chef Daniel Barron (Courtesy Bull & Grain) Chef Daniel Barron has been hired to helm the kitchen at Bull & Grain, a cocktail-centric restaurant scheduled to open Sept. 19 in the Hillcrest space previously occupied by Tabletop Commons. In addition to gaining kitchen experience at notable restaurants

in New York, Beverly Hills and Nashville, he has worked locally at Blue Point Coastal Cuisine, La Valencia Hotel and Blush Ice Bar + EastWest Kitchen. Owner Simon Wolujewicz remains tightlipped about the upcoming menu, except to say in a press

release that Barron will “continue to push the palette of progressive-American cuisine.” 1263 University Ave., bullandgrain.com. —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@san. rr.com.t

Now Playing! August 14 – September 18 Tickets Start at $29

(619) 23-GLOBE (234-5623) www.TheOldGlobe.org Pascale Armand with the cast of Love’s Labor’s Lost. Photo by Jim Cox.


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FEATURE

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

A circus of fun Help celebrate a decade of JCUV By Margie M. Palmer Chef Julie Darling was born into a family who believed in giving back. Throughout the years, Darling, who owns Just Call Us Catering and Kitchen Rental, has served on countless committees, chaired numerous fundraising events and has donated her catering services to Helen Woodward’s Spring Fling, Mama’s Kitchen and Rady Children’s Hospital, to name a few.

Diego’s homeless fresh and nutritious meals. On Sept. 16, the organization will celebrate more than a decade of volunteerism with The Wacky Wingding party and fundraiser. Darling hopes the circus-themed event will raise upward of $50,000. “We’re a 100 percent volunteer organization and we’ve never had any payroll,” Darling said, estimating that JCUV serves between 7,000 and 10,000 meals to homeless San Diegans each year.

Owner Chef Julie Darling and Pride & Paella’s Craig Wilgenbusch bring the community together for good causes (Courtesy JCUV) Her volunteerism reached its peak in 2005, when she founded Just Call Us Volunteers (JCUV). Since that time, JCUV has worked with a number of local nonprofits to help feed San

And while she admits the organization has certainly expanded their meal service in the past decade, their mission to help feed the homeless has not wavered.

“About 10 years ago, one Christmas, I realized I didn’t have anything to do, and instead of sitting at home doing nothing I found someone who was going to make food and serve it down on the streets,” Darling said. “I called and asked if they needed help.” With this, the idea to start a nonprofit that would work to feed San Diego’s homeless community fresh and nutritious meals was born. “It started out with Christmas but then we started doing Thanksgiving,” she said. “Now we do Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.”

Partnering with the nonprofit community

Veteran’s Village of San Diego’s (VVSD) is among the many nonprofits that JCUV has collaborated with; Darling said that JCUV volunteers also serve the last meal at Stand Down, an annual event hosted by VVSD that assists homeless veterans in accessing VA benefits, employment, job counseling and other key services. VVSD Development Manager Joe Perucca said were it not for the support of volunteers, including those working with JCUV, Stand Down wouldn’t be able to happen. “We thank them for participating and for donating their time to helping us feed San Diego’s homeless veterans,” he said. In addition to working with Veteran’s Village, JCUV also collaborates with a number of other nonprofit groups including the Alpha Project, Rachel’s

gay-sd.com Women’s Shelter, the Monarch School and San Diego Center for Children. “Alpha Project is extremely grateful for the ongoing support we receive from Just Call Us Volunteers,” said Alpha Project CEO Bob McElroy. “For the past 10 years, especially on holidays, they have provided nutritious meals to thousands of our clients, making a big difference in their day.” Life skills manager for San Diego Center for Children Tina Reyes-Magnanelli, M.A., said SDCC has been working with Darling and her team of volunteers for approximately five years. “Julie and her group of wonderful volunteers come on the last Sunday of each month to provide a beautifully catered meal for our Family Day Luncheons,” Reyes-Magnanelli said. “[They] always arrive on time, with a smile and are eager to interact positively with our kids and their families. The experience of eating a delicious cuisine is always enhanced by their desire to make our kids feel special and cared for — and nothing brightens their day more than to know others care about them.” JCUV is also actively involved with Mama’s Kitchen. Each year, volunteers prepare 300 pecan pies for their Pie in the Sky bake sale, which helps provide thousands of meals for local San Diegans who are affected by AIDS or cancer.

The fundraiser

JCUV’s Wacky Wingding, A 10th Anniversary Celebration, will take place on Saturday, Sept. 17 at the Francis W.

Gig Life Illustrated in Cox Home of the Future Do you know how much internet speed your home needs? Today, the average household is connecting six devices in the home to the internet, from laptops and tablets to gaming and multiple smartphones, and that number is expected to increase in the near future. Cox Communications recently hosted an event in San Diego to demonstrate how gigabit speed is quickly turning the home of the future into the home of today for busy families, workfrom-home professionals, gamers, budding musicians and future chefs. What does “gigabit speed” really mean? Gigabit speed is internet that’s 100 times faster than the average speed. With gig speed, you can download 100 songs in three seconds, a full-length HD movie in less than 60 seconds or upload 1,000 photos in about a minute. Cox Communications has been delivering gigabit internet speed to business customers for more than a decade, and now it’s focusing on providing ultra-fast gig speed to all of its residential customers. The Cox event at The Pinnacle on the Park apartment community showcased how Cox Gigablast speed provides reliable, quality service of 1,000 megabits per second. Demonstrations at the event ranged from competitive gamer Tyler Burnette playing Rocket League to Madonna’s violinist Jason Yang streaming music lessons. Local food blogger Whitney Bond, now a television and internet star with more than 150,000 monthly views on her website, demonstrated how

Gigablast service allows her to quickly load photos and stream videos to her blog and social media pages. “Without it, my business would be impossible!” she says. Schools of the future may well look like the STEAM (science, technology, engineering, arts and math) Maker Workshop’s demonstration. STEAM Maker uses virtual reality and other emerging technologies to teach students new ways to learn, with gig speed powering the workshop’s projects and experiments. The event also showcased Refl exion Health Inc.’s use of virtual reality to guide patients on proper techniques for at-home physical therapy. Dr. Edward Greene from Sharp ReesStealy Medical Group conducted in-home patient consultations via web conferencing. Other demonstrations included architects from BNIM highlighting how they use high speed internet to power their business and provide employees with improved worklife balance. The stations - along with WiFi enabled gadgets, computers and tablets all running simultaneously - were possible only because of super-fast Gigablast speed. Cox Homelife home security and automation products were also on display. Homelife cameras can stream live video so you can monitor for intrusions, fi re and other emergencies. It also lets you raise or lower the temperature in your home remotely, control indoor and outdoor lighting and access other programs using a smartphone, tablet or computer.

The New Contour from Cox has ushered in a new age of television viewing, off ering entertainment like never before. The New Contour off ers voice-controlled remote controls as well as sports, traffi c, news and weather apps viewed simultaneously. You get smart search that predicts what you want to watch, parental controls customized to your children’s ages and interests, and the option to start a program in one room and fi nish it in another. With Gigablast internet speed, families can run all their devices at the same time without impacting each other’s internet experience. Just as the home of the future is already here, Gigablast is now available to homeowners throughout San Diego County. Start living the Gig Life today. For more information visit www.cox.com/gig.

Dr. Edward Greene from Sharp Rees-Stealy Medical Group conducts an in-home patient consultation via web conferencing.

JCUV makes hundreds of pecan pies for Mama’s Kitchen every year. (Courtesy JCUV)

Parker School, upper school campus, 6501 Linda Vista Road, in Linda Vista. The event will begin at 4 p.m. for families with children of all ages and include strolling and staged entertainment such as acrobats, stilt-walkers and clowns. At 7 p.m., the night will evolve into a party that’s more geared toward adults, with burlesque, fire twirling and more. A delicious selection of bites and tastes prepared by local chefs will accompany the entertainment all day and evening long. Participating chefs from Cardamom, Chinitas Pies, Cupcakes Squared, California Table, Dobson’s, Fishbone, High Dive, Mess Hall, Super Natural Sandwiches, Sundra, Wrench & Rodent, Woo Bar and others will be lending their culinary expertise to help prepare the night’s food selections. Entertainment for the circus-themed celebratory fundraiser will be provided by Fern Street Circus, Drop Dead Dames Burlesque, Fiora Firefly, and others. Advance tickets are available online. The cost to attend is $120 for couples, $90 for single tickets and $10 for children ages 6 to 17. Children ages 5 and younger can attend for free. For more information about JCUV, the Wacky Wingding and/ or how to make a tax-deductible donation, visit justcallusvolunteers.org. —Margie M. Palmer is a San Diego-based freelance writer who has been racking up bylines in a myriad of news publications for the past 10 years. You can write to her at margiep@alumni. pitt.edu.t


THEATER

gay-sd.com

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

‘Oklahoma!’ Theater Review Charlene Baldridge If the Aug. 13 opening night was any indication, New Village Arts has another musical hit on its hands, with Rodgers and Hammerstein’s 1943 Broadway musical, “Oklahoma!” Not only that, there are new theater seats, still ample legroom, and a new soundboard (balance was still being worked out Saturday evening by sound designer Chad Goss). All other elements are there, the casting (director is debuting Teddy Eck), costumes (Mary Larson) and choreography (Julio Catano) are well nigh perfect, and any rough spots are likely to be smoothed

during the run, which lasts until Sept. 25. The action — based on the Lynn Riggs play, “Green Grow the Lilacs,” is set in Oklahoma territory in 1903, just prior to statehood — involves a cowboy named Curley (Jack French, who opens the show with “Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’”) and his love (“People Will Say We’re in Love”) for a farm girl named Laurie (Charlene Koepf). A parallel romance concerns (“I’m Just a Girl Who Cain’t Say No”) Ado Annie (Alexandra Slade, who takes the role’s prize for subtlety and depth of understanding) and (“Everything’s Up to Date in Kansas City”) Will Parker (Zackary Scot Wolfe) and his competition, a peddler named Ali Hakim (scene-stealing, wonderful Jonathan Sangster).

Ensemble actors perform in “Oklahoma!” (Courtesy NVA)

“Oklahoma!” By Rodgers and Hammerstein Directed by Teddy Eck Thursdays-Saturdays 8 p.m., Saturdays 3 p.m., Sundays 2 p.m. through Sept. 25 New Village Arts 2787 State St., Carlsbad Village

The cast of New Village Arts’ “Oklahoma!” (Courtesy NVA) The pivotal role of Jud Fry — the reclusive farmhand who threatens Laurie and Curley — is played by the vocally splendid actor Christopher Lesson, one of the best we’ve ever seen. With customary warmth and reliability, Susan E.V. Boland (“The Farmer and the Cowman”) portrays Laurie’s Aunt Eller. The singing/dancing ensemble comprising Chris Bona, Devin Collins, Kelly Derouin, Anton Maroun, Jillian Porter and Jacob Reiss, create characterful, titled roles. It would have shortened the length of the (nearly three-hour) evening to cut part of Agnes de Mille’s original Dream Sequence, which makes explicit Laurey’s dilemma, caught as she is between two types of fear. A word about Jack French, who plays Curley: He is tall, handsome and very young, having just graduated with a B.A. from Point Loma Nazarene College and is aimed towards a master’s in opera

RETURNING TO SAN DIEGO!

Sept. 7 – Oct. 2 | San Diego Civic Theatre BroadwaySD.com | 866-870-2717 | Groups (10+): 619-564-3001 ©Disney

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performance. He has upcoming opera and operetta assignments with Point Loma Opera Theatre and San Diego Opera’s Opera on the Track program. When he first enters as Curley, it’s a surprise to hear such a well-trained, operatic, and carefully produced sound emanating from such a regular looking guy. Further stage experience under a variety of directors will help integrate the multiple facets of his talent, both vocally and dramatically. Right now he’s a wow singer with an underdeveloped sense of Curley’s place in the musical theater pantheon. He needs to put on a bit of non-innate swagger and shed the idea of perfectly rounded tones in order to find easeful matinee idol employment. Meanwhile, enjoy what you hear. Not much can be done about the meager orchestral forces — Music Director Tony Houck on piano, a particularly overamped Nobuko Kemmatsu on

Tickets $45-$55 newvillagearts.org or 760-433-3245 percussion, and the wandering, onstage presence of singer/ dancer/player Morgan Carberry, attractive as she is, on violin. One supposes that space and cost are factors, but two pianos sans percussion might have been better — it is impossible for one piano to play all the intended/expected notes. For one with original orchestrations still lingering in her ears and memory, it was unsettling to say the least. And when is someone going to tell Charlene Koepf (Laurie) that she needn’t sing so loudly and with such “point” to be understood? — Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the arts since 1979. You can follow her blog at charlenebaldridge. com or reach her at charb81@ gmail.com.t


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CLASSIFIEDS

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

FROM PAGE 6

BENNY And that funny story about the gym and pool at SDSU: Some of you may recall that earlier this summer during Pride week, Finest City Improv did an entire show based on my life. During the show, I came on stage three times while they asked me questions about people, places, events and things in my life, and then they would do hilarious improv skits based on the information I shared. I mentioned during one of the Q&A sessions that I used to work at SDSU, but still use the pool and gym on campus. The improv skit that followed was hilarious, and it was about a person who left their job but still came back to use the water cooler and office supplies — because they used to work there. At least I got a laugh out of it!

Get out with Benny

Speaking of getting involved, I continue to highly recommend to all LGBTQ/ally young professionals 21– 40 years old to check out The Center’s Young Professionals Council (YPC). The group has a monthly series held in a different fun venue with brief programs on important topics and lots of time to mix and mingle with like-minded individuals. YPC’s next First Tuesday Series event is on Tuesday, Sept. 6 from 6:30–8 p.m. at Gossip

Grill. The event will include a brief presentation on “Smashing Stigma.� Visit tinyurl.com/zlveofg. Of course, we’re in full swing for AIDS Walk & Run San Diego, which is scheduled for Saturday, Sept. 24. This event is the largest single day HIV/AIDS fundraiser in San Diego County, and raises funds for over a dozen service providers in town. Even if you can’t make it on the day of (or prefer to sleep-in), your support as a “Virtual Walker� is vital to helping us raise needed funds. Learn more and register at aidswalksd.org. If you thought Pride season was over, you were wrong! South Bay Pride Art & Music Festival is scheduled for Saturday, Sept. 10 at Bayside Park in Chula Vista. This event is a lot of fun, and is a much lower-key version of the bigger San Diego Pride event held in July. A lot of folks in central San Diego are afraid to drive to Chula Vista thinking it’s so far away, but it’s only 10 minutes by car from Downtown San Diego. Consider checking out this free pride festival. Visit tinyurl.com/hztlsfb. Enjoy these final days of summer! —Benny Cartwright is the director of community outreach at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. He can be reached at 619692-2077 ext. 106 or outreach@ thecentersd.org. Note: Byline photo by Rob Lucas Modern Aperture Photography.t

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OUT AT RIO


FEATURE

gay-sd.com FROM PAGE 1

PARTNERS on Park, at 3922 Park Blvd., in Hillcrest and gave the business a new name and makeover. In the six years since that pivotal moment, the couple opened three additional locations, created an offshoot business known as IG Bakery and began brewing their own house blends. “We’re partners in business and partners in life,” Jeanine said. “We created a vision for this business together.” In a nod to Industrial Grind’s ongoing evolution, Hansen and Jeanine also brought on board a new business partner, Crystal Jones, who handles such managerial tasks as generating sales goals and other logistics that feed into day-to-day operations. Jones, who joined the Industrial Grind family a year ago, is Hansen’s niece. “We’re all very proud of what we do around here,” Jones said. “One of the things I find very satisfying is knowing we’ve somehow made a customer happy.” Transitioning from military service to coffee entrepreneurship might seem like an epic leap to the casual observer. When asked about the life change, however, Hansen was quick to say, “It really isn’t a far stretch.” “It is a lot of work and you put in a lot of hours,” Hansen said, drawing parallels between the two scenarios. “There’s also the opportunity to stretch your

imagination. If you have a good suggestion, you’re encouraged to go ahead and do it.” As it turns out, life in the military and behind the counter of a coffee shop also is hyper-competitive. In addition to Hillcrest, Hansen and Jeanine have also laid stakes in the San Diego neighborhood of Tierrasanta and in the suburb of Santee. The Hillcrest market, in particular, is heavily caffeinated with numerous national and local coffee shop chains dotting the landscape. Hansen and Jeanine, however, are undeterred. The couple opened a second location in the neighborhood earlier this summer at 1433 University Ave., just before celebrating their third wedding anniversary. Hansen said the decision to open the new University Avenue coffee shop was two-fold and is partially linked to uncertainty at the flagship Park Boulevard site. The building is on the market, Hansen said, and could be targeted for redevelopment in the future. “We’re going to stay open [on Park Boulevard] for the foreseeable future,” Hansen said. “We decided to open the shop on University because we wanted to be able to stay in the neighborhood. It’s a beautiful space.” While she is quick to note the number of other coffee establishments in close proximity in Hillcrest, Jones walks back any notion the rivalry among the different businesses is anything less than cordial. “Yes, there is competition, but it’s all very friendly,” Jones

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

13

Industrial Grind has its own glutenfree bakery and recently added a second Hillcrest location last month. (Courtesy Crystal Jones)

said. “We talk with one another, and we frequent one another’s shops. Coffee is all about community.” From a marketing standpoint, Hansen and Jeanine said they believe there are several features baked into their business model that have carved out a healthy niche. When they took over Jitters on Park, the couple had been serving coffee from an outside supplier. But they soon decided to bring it in house. Industrial Grind is considered a micro-roaster, meaning 200 to 300 pounds of beans are cooked each week. The Chief Blend (in homage to their Navy careers) is among the company’s custom brews. It offers such qualities as earthy, chocolate, light citrus and smoky notes. Another variety developed within the shop is the Callie Blend, which has berry, chocolate and brown sugar notes. “Barb was the brains behind the micro roasting,” Hansen

The entrepreneurs pose in front of one of Jeanine’s paintings, displayed at their new University Avenue location. (Courtesy Kathy Hansen) said, adding that Jeanine took roasting classes and worked in a commercial kitchen to perfect the product. More recently, Hansen and Jeanine also created their own from-scratch bakery and began supplying it to other businesses. The company’s entire line of breads, muffins and other goodies is gluten-free. Through all of the blood, sweat and tears, Hansen and Jeanine said they are grateful for this chapter of their lives. “We just kept winding up back in San Diego [while

serving in the Navy], and we decided we would stay here,” Jeanine said. “There’s a tremendous amount of loyalty in this community, and we appreciate our whole team.” Hansen added, “San Diego is very special to us.” For more information on Industrial Grind, visit industrialgrindcoffee.com. —Dave Fidlin is a freelance journalist with a special affinity for San Diego and its people. Contact him at dave.fidlin@ thinkpost.net.t

events ATTHECENTER Saturdays, Sept. 10, 17 & 24

Tuesday, Sept. 6

Coummunity Food Bank 9-10:30 am, The Center The San Diego LGBT Community Center hosts a distribution site once a month for the Community Cares Project of the San Diego Food Bank. On the first Tuesday of every month, visit The Center’s parking lot for emergency food. For more information, visit the San Diego Food Bank website at www.sandiegofoodbank.org.

Wednesday, Sept. 7

Guys, Games & Grub

10:45 am, The Center This class meets every Saturday and is free and open to all Trans folks and allies. Class are taught by Christine Taylor, who has generously donated her time. Healing Yoga teachings are derived from the self-empowering practices of yoga, utilizing a wide range of tools to help enhance well-being and health. For more information contact Connor Maddocks at trans@thecentersd.org.

Saturday, Sept. 24

6 pm, The Center Guys, Games & Grub, presented by Men @ The Center and Hillcrest Social, is a fun, free monthly social event designed for men – where everyone is welcome. Dozens of men gather on the first Wednesday of each month for free pizza, beer, wine, soft drinks, games, prizes, and more. Also, check out the popular Live Trivia game (starting at 6:30 pm), hosted each month by community favorite John Lockhart. A donation of $5 is suggested to support men’s programming at The Center. Bring friends or come alone and meet new friends! For more info, contact Aaron Heier at aheier@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077 x211.

www.thecentersd.org The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077

Twitter: @LGBTCenter

Healing Yoga for Trans Folks and Friends

facebook.com/At.The.Center

AIDS Walk San Diego! 7 am, Normal St. AIDS Walk & Run San Diego today is as important as it was 15 years ago. #AWSD16 not only provides funds for multiple community organizations, but it also raises awareness for the 18,000 San Diegans living with HIV. This is a day when those struggling with or unaware of their own status see incredible support and encouragement to seek testing and treatment – one way we can #BeTheGeneration to end new HIV infections in San Diego. So get involved and help change someone’s life! Register today at www.aidswalksd.org.


14

GAY SAN DIEGO Sept. 2 - 15, 2016

FRIDAY, SEPT. 2

U.S. Sand Sculpting Challenge and Dimensional Art Exposition: This annual four-day event starts today and attracts sculptors from around the world and results in sandcastles and art stretching along the bay. Continues through Monday, Sept. 5 (Labor Days) Tickets start at $11 for one-day admission with two-day and VIP packages available. Ticket prices increase on Aug. 16. The B Street Pier, 1140 N. Harbor Drive, Downtown. Visit ussandsculpting.com. ‘A Stroke of Genius’ popup art show and reception: Curated by Alexander Salazar this event will feature the works of Efi Mashiah and Elena Bulatova. Free and open to the public. 4–7 p.m. Downtown Ace Hardware, 675 Sixth Ave. Visit bit.ly/2byXDUM. First Fridays Top of the Bay: SDPIX hosts this edition of the rooftop LGBT happy hour and T-dance featuring cocktail specials, shuttle service to and from Rich’s San Diego, and more. There will also be a photo booth and giveways by SDPIX. Attendees receive a hand stamp for free entry to Rich’s from 10 p.m. – midnight. 6 p.m. Fifth floor of the Porto Vista Hotel, 1835 Columbia St., Little Italy. Visit bit.ly/2bU1Ejy.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 3

SPF Pool Party: Impulse San Diego presents this Saturday pool party featuring DJ Leomeo from France. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Lafayette Hotel, 2223 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit bit.ly/2cpt0kN. Ginger Bear Night San Diego: A celebration of bears, cubs, daddies and admirers of the ginger variety. Specials on all things ginger from Moscow Mules to Redheaded Slot Shots. Gingers get free entry. $7 cover for everyone else. Numbers, 3811 Park Blvd., Hillcrest. Visit bit.ly/2bH5bkp.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 4

Sunday Pool Party: Pump presents this Sunday pool party featuring beats by Sexshooters. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Lafayette Hotel, 2223 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit bit.ly/2bU3Mrn. R&B Divas & Kings of San Diego: A drag revue held on the first and third Sunday of every month by Chocolate

gay-sd.com City Entertainment. $5 cover. 8 p.m. Numbers, 3811 Park Blvd., Hillcrest. Visit bit.ly/2bU3scl.

MONDAY, SEPT. 5 –LABOR DAY Action! Afterhours: A late night – or early morning rather – afterhours party with beats by Nina Flowers from Puerto Rico. 2:30–8 a.m. Spin Nightclub, 2028 Hancock St., Middletown. Visit bit.ly/2bU4EMN.

TUESDAY, SEPT. 6

Young Professionals Council September social: Join the YPC for a chance to socialize with other young professionals and hear a special presentation from The Center’s PrEP Coordinators David Vance and Giovan Hernandez. For more information, contact co-chairs Jeremy Bloom (jeremy.bloom@alumni.umw.edu) or Prabha Singh (prabha711@ gmail.com). 6:30 – 7:30 p.m. Gossip Grill, 1220 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit facebook. com/YPCSD. Trivia Tuesday: Every Tuesday, come alone or with a group of friends for a chance to win valuable HBC gift cards. 7:30–10 p.m. Hillcrest Brewing Company, 1458 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit hillcrestbrewingcompany. com or call 619-269-4323.

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 7

Guys, Games and Grub — end of summer edition: The name says it all. This popular monthly event features time to socialize for men ages 21 and older. The first Wednesday of the month event includes pizza, beer, wine, soft drinks, games, prizes and more. There is also a live trivia game hosted each month by John Lockhart starting at 6:30 p.m. A $5 suggested donation for attending GGG goes toward men’s programming at The Center. Food and drink items are $1 each. 6 p.m. San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit thecentersd.org.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 8

‘Through the Years With Johnny Mercer’: Singer Rose Kingsley returns to MA4 to

perform the works of Johnny Mercer. Song selections will include “Skylark,” “Moon River,” “Days of Wine and Roses,” and more. Tickets are $20 for reserved seating with a $15 food/ drink minimum per person. Doors open at 6 p.m. with the show at 8 p.m. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit ma4sd.com.

FRIDAY, SEPT. 9

Male figurative drawing night: An uninstructed three-hour drawing/sketching session for artists who appreciate the masculine form. Each session of this group showcases a fit, experience male model in a variety of poses. Drawing only — including graphite, charcoal pencils, colored pencils and pens (no painting, oil or chalk pastels permitted). Open to artists 18 and up. $20 fee. 6–9 p.m. North Park Yoga, 3063 University Ave. Visit bit. ly/2bU7Gkg. Top of the Bay: Weekly rooftop LGBT happy hour and T-dance featuring cocktail specials, shuttle service to and from Rich’s San Diego and more. Attendees receive a handstamp for free entry to Rich’s from 10 p.m.–midnight. 6 p.m. Fifth floor of the Porto Vista Hotel, 1835 Columbia St., Little Italy. Visit facebook.com/ TopOfTheBaySanDiego. ‘Whiskey Around the World’: Sample and discuss Irish, American and Scotch whiskeys from small distilleries around the world. Food pairings will be provided with each tasting. $30 (only 15 seats available). 6:30–8 p.m. Vom Fass Hillcrest, 1050 University Ave., E103. Visit hillcrest.vomfassusa.com.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 10

$5 Food Festival: Food trucks, booths and carts will offer a variety of cuisine for $5 per dish. Live music, dancing and DJs will also be featured. Early access from 11 a.m.–noon; general admission from noon–6 p.m. Waterfront Park, 1600 Pacific Highway, Downtown. Visit bit.ly/2bU7gKJ. South Bay Pride Art and Music Festival: A bayside Pride festival featuring live music emceed by Laura Jane and a DJ stage with dancing. The festival will feature local artisans, food, exhibitors, beach

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 14

activities and cocktails. Noon–8 p.m. Bayside Park, adjacent to J Street Marina, Chula Vista. Visit southbaypride.org. Varsity Gay League flip cup tournament and recruitment party: This firsttime event will feature prizes for top teams. Entry fees are $10 per player for teams of four players. Noon–3 p.m. Urban Mo’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bit.ly/2bU8qG0. San Ysidro Health Center’s annual dance fitness event: This event features instructors in various dance mediums teaching dance routines. Proceeds benefit AIDSWalk San Diego. $10 presale; $15 at the door. 1–3 p.m. San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit bit.ly/2bU7ly5.

‘Dreamgirls Revue’: A weekly revue with a rotating cast of performers and featuring drink specials. $8 cover. Showtime is 8 p.m. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bit. ly/2bU9bPm. ‘Booby Trap Burlesque Show’: A show featuring the ladies of Pink Boombox Productions plus all night happy hour. $3 cover, or free before 9 p.m. Show at 9 p.m. Gossip Grill, 1220 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit thegossipgrill.com.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 15

Annual Taste of Downtown: Presented by the Downtown San Diego Partnership, more than 40 restaurants from the Gaslamp Quarter, Headquarters, Core District and East Village neighborhoods will be serving up samples during the Taste of Downtown. A free shuttle will be available throughout the participating areas. Tickets are $30 in advance and $35 the day of the event. Will call will be located at Rustic Root, 535 Fifth Ave. Visit downtownsandiego.org. ‘Emperor Summer Lee’s Bachelor and Bachelorette Auction’: This event will feature Empress XIII LaLa Too as Mistress of Ceremonies, drink specials, hors d’ouvres and more. Proceeds from the event will benefit the programs of the Imperial Court de San Diego. $7 suggested donation. Doors open at 6 p.m. with auction at 7 p.m. Flick’s, 1017 University Ave., Hillcrest. Email Emperor Summer Lee at regentemperor44@gmail.com. CinemArt: ‘I Still Believe in Paradise’: CinemArt is held on the third Thursday of each month and features a bite, a cocktail and new piece of art followed by a musical performance. This edition will be based on the film “The Beach” starring Leonardo DiCaprio. No cover and open to all ages. 6 – 9 p.m. Lafayette Hotel, 2223 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit bit.ly/2c0QDOI.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 11

Showtune Sundays: An evening of Broadway, showtunes, musicals and more hosted by Babette Schwartz and The Divettes. 7–10 p.m. Lips, 3036 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit bit.ly/2bU8mpx.

MONDAY, SEPT. 12

San Diego LGBTQ Lions Chartering Meeting: Learn about the chartering of the first ever Southern California LGBT Lions Club. The world’s largest service club organization has 46,000 clubs and over 1.4 million members. 6:30–8:30 p.m. Industrial Grind Coffee, 1433 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bit.ly/2bU9dH9.

TUESDAY, SEPT. 13

‘Showtunes Spaghetti Tuesday’: A weekly sing-along with showtunes from all eras and musical clips from TV, movie and stage productions from 5–10 p.m. All-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner and drink specials offered from 5 p.m. to closing. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit urbanmos.com. Disney presents ‘The Lion King’: The Tony Awardwinning musical comes to the Civic Theatre through Oct. 2. Tickets start at $32.50 with VIP packages available. Run time is 2 hours and 30 minutes including intermission. 7 p.m. 1100 Third Ave., Downtown. Visit broadwaysd.com/the-lionking.htm and lionking.com.

—Compiled by Jen Van Tieghem. Email calendar items to morgan@sdcnn.com or jen@ sdcnn.com.t

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Q PUZZLE

solution on page 12

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DOWN 37 Java brewer 38 Country with 6 out athletes at Rio 41 Beauty that’s only skin deep 42 Da Vinci’s ___ Lisa 44 Arsenic’s old partner 45 Be in debt to 46 Country with 4 out athletes at Rio 49 Get the seed that was spilled 51 Luncheonette lure 53 Aida was one 57 Country with 2 out athletes at Rio 60 See 19-Across 61 Kazan, whose desire was a streetcar 62 Kind of cut 64 Mercury and Saturn 65 Resembling, with “to” 66 Draft eligible 67 “Showboat’s” “Nobody ___ But Me” 68 Silence for Copland 69 Treat for Rizzo at the Frosty Palace 70 Penn of “Milk”

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32 It sticks out in front of a sailor 33 A girl named Frank 35 Sculptor Nancy 39 Dick Button’s milieu 40 Kind of resistance on a path 43 Extremely hard 47 Pitching stat 48 Private part in a war movie 50 Puts one’s finger on 52 Loy of “The Thin Man” 54 “___ told by an idiot” (Shakespeare) 55 First lesbian magazine “Vice ___” 56 City in the Ruhr valley 57 Reverse or neutral 58 “It’s Not the Size That Counts” star Sommer 59 Park of Queens 60 Spank one’s bottom 63 Sushi selection


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COMMUNITY VOICES

years in the public relations, media and political arena, his exploits hadn’t gotten him into the circles he yearned for. “I have a master’s degree is currently in the midst of a in homeland security and nationwide membership drive I’ve been teaching and I’ve that will last through Sept. 26. been engaged politically, but VanDiver and Kavanaugh are I certainly had no business looking for kindred spirits to running around the Pentagon join them. or doing anything like that,” According to its website, he said. “Truman has given “America is strongest when we me the opportunity to get in utilize all of our tools — dethe room and have those disfense, diplomacy, development, cussions. As a former enlisted and democracy — to engage man in the Navy, that [enlistthe challenges and oppored] perspective is important tunities of the 21st century.” when generals and admirals Truman members call it are the only ones giving input. the “4Ds.” It’s offered me a voice.” The name “Truman,” obThe local group conducts viously came from President closed meetings attended by Harry S. Truman. members only; open meetings “It’s about the Truman that consist of various activiDoctrine and the Marshall ties and allow others to learn Plan,” Van Diver said. “It’s more about Truman; and what about that whole worldview VanDiver calls “public-facing that we’re not alone and we events,” such as their annual can’t be. .... The idea that we “Memorial Day Rose Drop.” can be [an] isolationist counOn a national scale, try, America first, that just VanDiver said two of the largdoesn’t work.” est initiatives the Truman While membership — curProject has had a measurable rently at 1,500 nationally — is impact on were women in comthe heart and soul of the bat and the Iran deal. Truman Project, it is extreme“We have some pretty cool ly competitive to get accepted initiatives like True Diversity and though there is no age that are run and led by LGBT requirement, applicants tend folks,” VanDiver said. “The to be between the ages of 27 Truman community is just so and 40. amazing and it crosses all sec“We’re looking for mid-cators, but in particular, we have reer professionals who kick some incredible LGBT folks, ass and take names, who nationally and locally.” want to continue changing Kavanaugh’s connections the world, and are looking with Truman helped get her a for an outlet to do that,“ Van coveted prime time position on Diver said, adding that they stage at the recent Democratic should also be interested in National Convention, just national security, which inbefore former Secretary of cludes clean energy, transpor- Defense Leon Panetta. “It was pretty cool,” she tation, cyber security, border said.“I approached it from a and immigration, and even very Marine Corps perspective. human rights. After an extensive appliI was there to do a mission; I cation process, those selected didn’t have time to go hang must attend an orientation and out with my friends and go annual conference in D.C. beschmooze like everyone else fore fully being vested in their was doing, which looked like membership. a lot of fun. I was there to de“I don’t do politics in my liver a message. Once I deliver professional life, but there are the message, then I can hang things that I am interested out with my friends and enjoy in and through Truman, I the moment.” Note: That “moment” came can work on these things or when Angela Bassett finished connect with people who can her speech and randomly sat effect change or help me effect down next to her back stage. change if I’m not doing it on The application fee for my own,” Kavanaugh said. Truman is $35 and annual “You don’t have to be sitting on dues are $250, but VanDiver Capitol Hill or in the White is quick to dispel any financial House in order to make a concerns, stating that scholardifference.” While VanDiver, who was ships are available and airline raised around the LGBT commiles are often donated to munity but is not gay, proudly those who need them. marched alongside LGBT Those interested should service members in uniform contact the co-chairs and find at San Diego Pride in 2012, he out more about the community suffered great consequences at that they rave about and keeps the hands of his superiors as a these two very different souls result and he left the Navy the marching along together. next year. “That’s why it works,” “The decision to march in Kavanaugh said of her partthat parade was the best denership with VanDiver. “He cision I ever made,” he said. makes me do things that make “What matters to me is that I me uncomfortable and I like took a stand and it wasn’t even reel him in when I need to.” for attention. I learned that, To learn more, visit trumaneven as a straight white guy project.org. If you have queswho always had it easy that tions about the local chapter or anyone can get screwed. the application process, contact “But I value every second VanDiver at shawn.vandiver@ of my Navy career,” he contingmail.com or Kavanaugh at ued. “I learned so much about kristenkavanaugh@yahoo.com. the world and it changed my —Morgan M. Hurley can worldview.” be reached at morgan@sdcnn. Though post-active service com.t VanDiver had spent several

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STONE In 1984, while Alice was volunteering with Volunteers of America at area recovery centers, she was invited to one of Stepping Stone’s Sunday night spaghetti dinners at their original facility. While there, she learned their small staff was in need of another employee; she applied immediately and got the job. Though Alice said her own father lived his life in the closet and her brother was gay, she said the invitation to work as part of the small Stepping Stone staff and serve its 31 residents changed her life. “It is the most welcoming population,” she said. “You go to a straight recovery home and they are hostile, in my opinion. I tried to do some volunteer work at an all male straight facility and they were very hostile. Stepping Stone welcomed me and I had a sense of a ‘coming home’ as a staff person.” Alice said she got to work creating various programs for residents and saw her own hours go from part time to full time in a very short period. Ross soon joined the board of directors, where Alice said he was able to acquire the organization’s first conditional-use permit, though they had been in operation for nearly a decade by then. After two years Alice left her employment and Ross left the board, but neither was ever very far away from the family they had now merged their

lives with. The couple continued to volunteer several times a week and even donated their time at various other LGBT organizations, including AIDS Project, Special Delivery and Mama’s Kitchen, but they always came back to The Stone, as the organization is known within its circle. For many of those years, Stepping Stone had a program called “one-on-ones,” where residents could request one-hour mentorship sessions with volunteers who had many more years of sobriety. Before more stringent regulations came into play that Alice said has hampered the flexibility of the practice and eventually eliminated them entirely, one-on-ones could take place while walking the local neighborhood, during a venture to the beach, or on a hike in the local mountains. Alice called it “individual me-time,” as it was without interruption or input from other residents, peers or facilitators. “It gave the volunteers an opportunity to share their experience, strength and hope with individuals living at Stepping Stone,” said Mike Rosensteel, a close friend of the Taylors and a longtime Stepping Stone one-onone volunteer. While Ross gave countless hours to facilitate groups at Stepping Stone, Alice said he especially enjoyed donating his time to one-on-ones, where he was a resident favorite; his commanding, authority-figure presence made many proud to be accepted by him. “Ross was incredibly popular, particularly with people

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The late Ross Taylor (right) and his wife Alice have dedicated their lives to Stepping Stone. (Courtesy Alice Henry-Taylor) who had similar issues to him,” Alice said. “He was very, very accepting and I think he gifted many — particularly the men — who had been so shunned and stigmatized for being gay. He was just openly accepting.” Described by his wife as a “very handsome man” who was “barrel chested with a beard,” the Master Chief had many gay men serve alongside and under him throughout his Navy career but Alice said he “never had an issue.” The couple — featured prominently at the second annual Stonewall Awards in 1990 — has received many awards from the community over the years. In 2005, Stepping Stone gave them a 20-years of service award and this year the organization’s board went a step further. “As we were planning the 40th anniversary celebrations for Stepping Stone, we wanted to find a way to honor Ross and Alice for their decades of support to the agency and our residents,” said Michael Moore, the organization’s chairman of the board. “They are a part of the heart and soul of Stepping Stone and have made a

their 40th anniversary at the measurable impact on many lives over the years. We wanted to hon- “Living Out Loud” gala, which will take place at Swiss Park in or them both in a way that carried forward their spirit of giving.” Chula Vista. They found a way to do so In recent years, while Ross’s in June, during their 40th health got in the way of his peranniversary commemorative sonal volunteer hours, he suptile celebration. In the midst of ported Alice’s continued service celebrating the dozens of tiles and was always available to offer purchased for the ceremony, advice and a contribution for the board announced the Alice each fundraising event. “One of the joys of Stepping and Ross Service Award and Stone for Ross and myself are the presented its first award to the couple. Ross, who had been plan- friends we made, the gatherings ning to attend the tile ceremony, we hosted — several years of meeting for coffee every Thursday, had fallen ill at the last minute open to all at Starbucks in and was unable to attend. While the couple had purUptown — and many beach picchased a large commemorative nics,” Alice said. “We belong to tile for the occasion, the award the Stepping Stone community — came as a huge surprise. they are our chosen family.” The celebration of life for Ross “I had no idea this was coming,” Alice said. “I thought it was Taylor will take place Sept. 10, from 10 a.m.–noon at Stepping a tile ceremony — which it was, Stone of San Diego, located but it also was a lot about this at 3737 Central Ave. in City award. I had no clue. Michael Heights. For more information Moore really put one over on us. That was why it was so disheart- about the memorial or the upcoming 40th anniversary, visit ening that Ross was not there.” Moore said the Alice and Ross steppingstonesd.org. Service Award will begin its —Morgan M. Hurley can be award cycle in October, when the reached at morgan@sdcnn.com.t organization officially celebrates Ross was a committed volunteer for Stepping Stone for over 30 years. He was a very giving man and he was loved by the many residents he helped over the years. Whenever we needed him, Ross was here. He gave his heart and soul to them. We will greatly miss him here. —Cheryl Houk, Stepping Stone executive director As I became chairman of the board I had the opportunity to have lunch with Ross, who I had not seen in years. Though his health was failing him, his heart was still focused on helping Stepping Stone. He gave me some great advice and showed me, once again, how deeply he cared for Stepping Stone. —Michael Moore, Stepping Stone board chairman Ross Taylor was a source of inspiration for many of the residents at Stepping Stone. He volunteered several hours of his time every week to the one-on-one program and was well known for his compassionate approach to working with addicts and alcoholics struggling in early recovery. —Mike Rosensteel, Stepping Stone longtime volunteer I have only the fondest of memories of Ross and Alice. What a beautiful and dedicated couple. Almost every week before volunteering at Special Delivery, Ross would have breakfast at the Huddle with someone who he might be willing to mentor or encourage in some way. He and Alice contributed not just their time in volunteering but purchased for our packaging a piece of equipment we still use to this day. Rest in peace Ross. —Ruth Henricks, Special Delivery founder and executive director

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