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Volume 7 Issue 12 June 10 - 23, 2016

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EQCA to celebrate 3 local LGBT families


Morgan M. Hurley | Editor

LGBT fringe


Team mom

(l to r) Josh Perez, Brooklyn Perlman, John Ealy, and Nicholas Taylor at the flag football fields with their team banner. (Photo by Courtney Ray)

Lea is the new butch


Fun with the f-word


Entrepreneur, philanthropist, uncle … and single man Morgan M. Hurley | Editor

Local businessman John Ealy has lived in San Diego for 15 years. And while he is a member of our local LGBT community and has owned several restaurants around town, you probably don’t know him. Yet. It appears that is about to change. Ealy, who owns a restaurant in Maui and two more in the Santa Cruz area, also owned the Ole Madrid Downtown for six years and has owned The Boathouse on Harbor Island for the last 15 — hardly attempts to

Index News ............….........…3 Community Voices .....….5 Opinion....................6 Classifieds.................16

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see Harley Gray, pg 7

see EQCA Awards, pg 17

It takes a village LGBT-owned artist community strives to make a difference By Margie M. Palmer

The LGBT-friendly Lafayette

make a name for himself in the local LGBT community, but he kind of liked it that way. Then two years ago this past April, Ealy opened Harley Gray Kitchen and Bar, a casual but clever and oh-so-hip dining spot located in Mission Hills on the prime corner of Washington and Goldfinch streets. While this purchase got him closer to the gayborhood than ever before, Ealy remains pleased with his distance from the center of it all. It certainly hasn’t stopped the gays from flocking to his restaurant alongside his other clientele, and he appreciates the diversity he’s brought to the neighborhood he’s called home for the past nine years. He lives just three blocks from the restaurant and enjoys being an active member of the Mission Hills Business Improvement District. “It’s weirdly powerful for this small community,” Ealy said of the organization.

The Equality California (EQCA) Awards have chosen a theme for San Diego’s installation of its annual series of fundraising galas, which takes place Friday, June 17, from 6 – 10 p.m. at The Prado in Balboa Park. “Celebrating LGBT Families” is the theme of the event that will honor three local LGBT families and shine a light on the many things they do in their everyday lives that make a difference in the lives of others. Past honorees include Toni G. Atkins, Dr. Shaun Travers and ally Lidia Martinez. San Diego hosts one of five EQCA galas held throughout the state; other cities include San Francisco, Sacramento, Los Angeles and Palm Springs. “It’s really the best way to stay in touch with your local constituents, by doing events in each market,” said Kenny Cassady, EQCA’s director of development and corporate relations. “People do like to celebrate our community’s achievements, hear updates on what we’ve accomplished in the last year and what we’re doing going forward in the next year. “And they come to give credit to their community friends that have been doing all the hard work,” he said.

Gallery owner Ari Kate Ashton said that when she decided to open Art on 30th she did it because she wanted to create a community. Artists are generally alone when they paint, regardless as to whether they’re at home or in their studios, she said. By creating an arts community place, where artists can interact and network, she hoped to fill a void. “I had already started to build a community before I did this and one night I had people over my house and told them ‘I have a vision that the best years are still ahead, this is what I want to do and will you come

with me?’” she said. The full emotional support she received from local artists is what helped her take the leap, she said. That’s when she made the decision to buy the old Morse Security Building on 30th Street. “I purchased the [building] in 2014,” Ashton said. It was in a state of disrepair and I went in and gutted it. I took out the old bathrooms, the small offices, old green carpet, old security cords and basically started over. “The only thing I kept was a handmade ceramic mosaic on the entry floor that says ‘This build-

see Artist, pg 9

Kate Ashton (left) mentors a student at her new community art space in North Park. (Courtesy Art on 30th)


GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016


Artist's visualization looking east down University Avenue from Vermont Avenue, showing a protected bike lane on the north side of the street and an enhanced crosswalk (Courtesy SANDAG)

Minding ‘the gap’

Bike community speaks out on Uptown Bikeways, public comment still sought Ken Williams | Contributing Editor The long-awaited Uptown Bikeways project reached a key milestone on May 24 when San Diego’s regional planning agency conducted a public hearing in a packed Santa Fe Room at Balboa Park Club to collect comments ahead of a crucial vote by its board of directors. The board of the agency, San Diego Association of Governments (SANDAG), will vote June 24 on whether the Uptown Bikeways project is exempt from the California Environmental

Quality Act (CEQA). As part of the project’s CEQA compliance, SANDAG prepared a Traffic and Safety Impact Assessment, which was published May 9 and can be reviewed at According to the assessment’s executive summary: “It concludes that the proposed project would not result in any vehicular traffic impacts, as defined by the City of San Diego Significance Thresholds for Traffic Impacts. The proposed project also would not have any negative bicycle or pedestrian safety impacts. …

“The proposed project would make it easier and safer for people of all ages and abilities to travel on bikes among City of San Diego neighborhoods in the Uptown area, connecting Uptown to Old Town, Mission Valley, Downtown, and North Park. It also improves safety for people who walk and drive in these neighborhoods. “The proposed project would create inviting and convenient bikeways that link key community destinations, including schools, parks, transit, and commercial centers. The bikeways would feature design elements that enhance the experience for people biking and walking, make streets safer for all users, and benefit people who live, work and do business in the neighborhoods served by the proposed project.”

see Bikeways, pg 15

GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016




GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016

Fringe fest

Compulsion Dance Theatre, featuring Michael Mizerany’s “Bedrooms and Boyfriends” at Diversionary Drama Theater, featuring Breakthrough Workshop Theatre’s presentation of “Dear Harvey,” at Diversionary (June 26 only) Comedy-Physical Theater, featuring Thom Vegh in “Dr. Svetlana’s Public and Private Health Lecture Demonstration,” at Rosewood Five Burlesque, featuring Caps Lock Theatre’s “Baby Mama: One Woman’s Quest go Give Her Child to Gay People,” at Diversionary’s Black Box Performance Art, featuring Tim Nat in “Inanna,” at Rosewood Five Comedy-Drama Theater, featuring “Caffeine,” at The Geoffrey Off Broadway Drama Theater, saintsriot present, “Frisco,” at Diversionary All performances take place between June 25 and July 2. Check for a full list of performances, times, locations and tickets.

Experiments in storytelling

By David Dixon Since 2013, the San Diego International Fringe Festival has been giving America’s Finest City an eclectic selection of theater. Kicking off this June 23, attendees will experience everything from musicals, comedies, dance events, and family-friendly programming play at theatrical spaces around the city. Some of the venues last year included the Lyceum Theatre, the Tenth Avenue Arts Center (the headquarters of San Diego Fringe), and the recently closed Swedenborg Hall. In charge of the festival is executive producer and director, Kevin Charles Patterson. Before founding the event, he was involved with directing, choreographing and producing productions around the world. Unfortunately, Patterson got in a car accident, which ended his career teaching dance and choreographing. “I got cut off by a big-rig truck and broke my hip,” he said. “I owned a studio and wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my professional life.” He became inspired after learning more about Fringe Festivals. “I found out about Fringe and

Of LGBT interest:

• • • •

Scene from Mizerany's "Bedrooms and Boyfriends" (Courtesy Fringe Fest) I thought, this would be perfect,” he said. “I realized we had a shortage of small venues and alternative venues in San Diego. This opens the door for local artists to present unique stories.” Aiding Patterson with programming is managing director and the group’s press contact, Candice Caufield. While the two of them have been close for years, she was not always a Fringe team member. “In 2013, I wasn’t too involved because I was working more for my regular job,” she said. “However, I had so much fun doing a little bit of volunteering that year, I asked Patterson if I could become more involved.”

This led to a trip where the two of them went to the 2014 World Fringe Congress in Edinburgh, Scotland. “I was completely sold after meeting people with Fringes from throughout the world and going to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe,” she said. Like many major artistic events, the San Diego Fringe is continuing to grow. “In 2013 it was for five days, and has now expanded to 11 days,” Patterson said. “What is nice is artists can present their works and get word out and help build an audience.” Another way that the celebration has continued to develop is

having several shows performed in Tijuana. “2015 was our first bi-national festival,” she said. “We had two small venues at Pasaje Rodriguez. We are fortunate this year, because we will be working with Amigos del Rep in both cities.” While this year the festival will have plays that appeal to larger audiences, some selections offer plenty for more adventurous theatergoers. “I like seeing stuff that’s outside of the box that you wouldn’t normally see,” Patterson said. “When I visit other Fringe Festivals, I want to see all the kinds of things we wouldn’t normally see in San Diego theater. Due to all the distant travelling, we’ve ended with a big chunk of national and international artists.” Since there is no censorship, several tales should have no-holdsbarred content. “Artists can push the envelope as far as they want,” Caufield said. “We cannot censor, curate, or jury anything. We will continue to have ratings for each tale in the program.” Patterson remains fascinated by the diverse options available for attendees. “There are cool layers, like last year we had shows taking place at the San Diego Natural History Museum all the way to Les Girls,” he said. “The more things like that happen, the more it warms my soul seeing total contrast and interesting locations thrown into the mix.” Under the helm of Patterson and Caufield, there will be no shortage of high quality entertainment and this year’s festival is poised to provide a unique way to spend the beginning of summer. Many performances are being held at Diversionary Theatre, but don’t just stop there. The San Diego International Fringe Festival runs from June 23 through July 3. For tickets, venues and more information, visit —A fan of film and theater from a very young age, David Dixon has written reviews and features for various print and online publications. You can reach him at


Go to the mirror Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel Mirror work is something I first tried about 30 years ago. I went to a workshop in West Hollywood where author and teacher Louise Hay encouraged people to talk to themselves in the mirror. I thought it was pretty weird and resisted it, at first; but today, I frequently use it in my counseling practice and in my personal life. For many of us, looking at ourselves in the mirror isn’t easy. We often — automatically — start to criticize ourselves: “Oh, I look bad today,” “My hair looks awful,” or “Boy, I sure am fat, aren’t I?” This is the kind of stuff that encourages us NOT to look in a mirror: Who wants to criticize themselves over and over again? (Only masochists, and I hope that doesn’t describe you.) Why would you look in the mirror and talk to yourself? Because it’s one of the best ways I know to help yourself through a bad time and to “be your own therapist.” There is something about looking in your own eyes that is very powerful. Perhaps it is because when we gaze (not stare) at ourselves in the mirror, we cannot avoid dealing with whatever it is that’s bothering us. I’ve had clients who start crying when they begin to do what I call “mirror work.” Many of us are afraid to take a good look at ourselves: we try to avoid it. We’re afraid we’re going to see some really awful, ugly person meeting our gaze. As a result, we can get very out of touch with what we feel and want. Then we wonder why we’re so unhappy. Mirror work isn’t a miracle panacea, but it can be very helpful if we’re feeling stuck or unhappy and want to get out of it and feel better. Mirror work helps us not only to see ourselves, but to also listen to ourselves. Many of us avoid listening to ourselves, thinking that we’ll be happier if we don’t. It doesn’t work. Ignoring how we feel is very unwise. Sure, we don’t need to pay attention to every little thing, but ignoring stuff that continues to bother us just ensures

that we stay stuck in it. “When should I do mirror work?” you may ask. Well, it can be really helpful in the following situations. When things are bad, you could gently make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and say: “How can I help you feel better today?” “What can I do today to enjoy my life more?” “What can I do about (name your problem)?” When times are good, you can go to the mirror and say: “Thank you for this great life / job / car / partner.” “I am really happy about ... Thank you.” “I am so grateful for my health / house / friends.” When you’re having a hard time talking to someone, talk to them in the mirror, as practice: “I would like us to have sex more often.” (said to your girlfriend/boyfriend/whomever). “I deserve a raise, because ...” (said to your boss) “Mom, I need you to stop calling / texting me so much.” Mirror work doesn’t take long. If you have a minute, that’s enough. If you have more time and find yourself crying or angry, give yourself as much time as you need to get to the bottom of your emotions. If you’re crying, ask the man/ woman in the mirror: “Why are you so sad?” and then listen for the answer. You’ll get one, and it may not be what you expect. Mirror work “works” because it forces us to really look at and listen to ourselves. It’s often hard because what we see and hear is painful. The potential benefits of this kind of work are great: We have a chance to slow down and pay attention to ourselves at a level that we rarely do in this rush-rush, crazy deadline world. That’s why I do it myself and use it with many of my clients. I’d like to thank Louise Hay for starting me on this path, way back in 1988. She is a very wise woman and I have learned a lot from her in the last 28 years. She currently lives in Bankers Hill and is one of the happiest 89-year-old people I know. —Michael Kimmel can be reached at 619-955-3311 or visit

GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016


Weeding out ignorance online Back Out with Benny Ben Cartwright I hop on Grindr every so often, and if you’ve been in the radius of me after I’ve been drinking lots of wine, you may have received one of my drunken invitations to cuddle. Gay social and hook-up apps may have their ups and downs, but I’ve met some cool people on the various incarnations of these types of sites — remember AOL chat rooms? Hyper-terminal bulletin board services? I’ve certainly come across my share of trolls, headless profiles, racist “preferences,” and of course, the guys who want “no one over 30,” as if all life stops and we move into retirement homes at 30. But someone I was “Grinding” with a few days ago sent me a message with a question that was so interesting to me: “Are you masc or fem?” That question has always bothered me for a number of reasons, but since I hadn’t been asked it in awhile, it really struck me as just such an odd thing this time. First of all, I wouldn’t even know how to answer that question. I don’t particularly fit into society’s definitions of either of those categories and I’m not sure I’d want to befriend someone who wants to put someone into a box. I also understand the underlying reason I was being asked that question was likely the result of this guy’s internalized homophobia. Based on his profile, which had the famous “Masc 4 Masc” descriptor in it, he wanted to make sure I wasn’t some “flaming queen” — because in his eyes, dating, befriending, or hooking-up with someone who feels free to express their beauty like that may actually force him to the realization that he is gay. As if sticking his penis into another man’s body didn’t already make him gay. I thought long and hard about how to answer the question. For a moment I thought about replying with something like, “Well, I’m not really either one” and see what he said, but I didn’t even want to validate his question.

PrEP study for transgender persons UC launches first in the nation demonstration project; UC San Diego School of Medicine part of effort By UC San Diego Health News The California HIV/AIDS Research Program (CHRP) of University of California has awarded grants totaling $9.4 million to three teams of investigators to provide and evaluate PrEP – the HIV prevention pill – among transgender persons at risk for HIV acquisition in California. It is the first PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) demonstration project in the United States to focus exclusively on transgender persons. Three research teams – one in San Diego and Los Angeles and two in the San Francisco Bay Area – will offer PrEP to an estimated 700 transgender women and men, with a special focus on transgender persons of color, over the next four years. Researchers will design and implement novel, targeted interventions to increase access, uptake and adherence in the transgender community. As part of this work, the research team will also investigate potential drug interactions between PrEP and hormone use. Transgender persons are extremely vulnerable to HIV infection. By some estimates,

Sure, he was hot, it was late at night, and I was feeling thirsty, but this question was a real boner killer. After typing in several responses, and then deleting them before pushing send, I decided to just block him. I didn’t need to engage with someone who could potentially become argumentative or rude if I answered the question the way I wanted to answer it, and why would I want to date, befriend, or hook up with someone who wouldn’t be interested in me anyway, just because I might not be as masculine as he required? One of the good things about these apps is that a lot of people post their biases, ignorance, and stupidity right out there in the open, so it’s a very easy way to filter them out before having to go through the work of a date. And while a lot of people say these apps are killing the bars and in-person social scene for gay men, I have found that there are some really great guys out there in the world — we just need to put down our phones to see them! I’m a huge proponent of social media and our ability to connect with each other because of our smartphones, so I’m not one of those who likes to preach that we should turn off our phones and experience the world. I think the world can be experienced in a number of ways, and having technology increases the ability to experience things we couldn’t otherwise. But it is interesting to look down the bar and see every single person sitting there staring at a little screen and not speaking to each other. As a result, lately when I’m alone having my wine at a bar, I’ve made it a personal rule to put down my phone for long periods of time, and just listen to the music and sounds of the bar, read newspapers, and talk to others. I’ve had to brush off the old tricks of using my eyes to attract another person, and it’s been fun. In fact, just the night before I wrote this column, I looked up from my phone to see a guy that had been sitting across the bar glancing at me all night (of course I didn’t notice these glances until I put my phone away). He ended up walking over and sitting down and we

had an hour-long conversation. Now I’ve made a great (and cute) new friend — who likes me just the way I am, whether I’m masc, fem, or something in between.

Get Out With Benny

There is so much going on this month, and it won’t stop with Pride coming up next month. This Saturday, June 11 is the sixth annual Out at the Fair, which is an LGBT day at the San Diego County Fair. The day will include LGBT-inclusive entertainment, resource booths, a group photo, and all the fun that the fair offers. Tickets and more information are here That same evening, The Center will host our annual Pachanga de Frida to raise funds for Latino Services. The festive party includes food, dancing, and lots of tequila. One of my favorite musical groups, the Manny Cepeda Orquestra, will perform. This is one of my favorite events of the year, and you’ll love it! Get your tickets at National HIV Testing Day is held annually on June 27. There will be numerous events happening around town that day, as well as Saturday, June 25, to attract attention to the purpose of the day, which is to remind everyone of the importance of regular HIV testing. Even if you only test once a year, use this day as a reminder to do so. You don’t have to wait for June 27, however. The Center offers free HIV testing MondayFriday from 9 a.m. – 8 p.m., and Saturdays from 10 a.m. – 2 p.m. As a bonus, everyone who comes in and gets tested receives a free Starbucks or Chipotle gift card. Please help us to #BeTheGeneration by knowing your states. More information is at events. By the time of my next column, we’ll be gearing up for San Diego Pride weekend! Get your rainbows ready! —Benny Cartwright is the director of community outreach at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. He can be reached at 619692-2077 ext. 106 or outreach@ Note: Byline photo by Rob Lucas Modern Aperture Photography.t

transgender women are up to 50 times more likely to be infected with HIV compared with other adults. Efforts are needed to deliver effective prevention services to this population. Transgender persons of color have been particularly impacted by HIV. While previous PrEP demonstration projects have focused on men who have sex with men, data on PrEP use and implementation within the transgender community is scant. Transgender populations face a number of HIV prevention challenges, including sociocultural, economic and health-related factors. Some of the barriers include stigma and transphobia, lack of protections against discrimination, trauma, violence, substance use and poor mental health, sex work, incarceration, homelessness, unemployment and limited access to trans-friendly health care. While some work has been done to address these challenges, experts say more is needed, including efforts that not only tackle these underlying drivers of risk but that also employ recent advances in the biomedical prevention of HIV. Limited research suggests that compared to cisgender men (men assigned male sex at birth and who also identify as male), transgender persons taking PrEP may face additional barriers to adherence, especially for those who are most at risk of acquiring HIV. For example, transwomen have expressed concerns about potential interactions between PrEP and hormone therapy, which could impact adherence. While drug interactions are not expected between these medications, confirmation

see PrEP, pg 8



GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016

Letters Accuracy counts

Ref: “Around the horn,” Vol. 7, Issue 11, or online at I am Bob Lehman’s husband [Editor’s note: Lehman is the executive director of the San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus]. Today at lunch, we saw your article “Around the Horn” had come out and I began to read it to Bob from my phone. It was the most accurate, comprehensive and well-written overview of what happened we’ve seen or read anywhere. Your piece was so accurate that it took me personally right back to those days leading up to the game and the night itself. I had to stop reading twice because I couldn’t speak, I got so choked up. About halfway through, I had to hand the phone to Bob for him to finish reading. So, just a simple thank you. Neither of us have ever experienced anything like it, not even when we were in the middle of the marriage battle or DADT. I think documenting the events is very important and appreciate what I’m sure was a lot of work to do so. —Tom Felkner, via email

see Letters, pg 8

Guest Editorial

HIV in America: hatred and acceptance Myles Helfand | Positive Thoughts “If you have a deadly disease, it is only proper that other people be warned against getting infected by you,” the comment began. It went quickly downhill from there. “The HIV infected should be placed on a mandatory tracking list and be tattooed with the BIOHAZARD symbol, just above the genitals, as fair warning,” it continued. “They should also have a distinctive license and license plate for the protection of LEO’s [law enforcement officials] they encounter,” it concluded, just for good measure. All of this, ironically, was recently posted on an article on entitled, “What Does HIV/AIDS Stigma Look Like in Your Life?” I deleted the comment, of course; isn’t a place for people to beat each other down. But in a twisted way, I appreciated the commenter’s inadvertently perfect crystallization of what HIV stigma looks like in the U.S. today — more than a generation after we learned what the virus is, how

EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Ken Williams, x102 Jeff Clemetson, x119 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi Charlene Baldridge Ben Cartwright Michael Kimmel Margie M. Palmer Frank Sabatini Jr. Romeo San Vicente

it works and how dangerous it can be for all of humanity when we ignorantly condemn a broad swath of society for living with it. There’s so much about the comment that we could unpack and dissect, but the one that really sticks with me is the feeling it holds at its core that HIV somehow renders a person non-human. That it makes them a thing: one of “the HIV infected.” An object to be isolated, tagged as toxic, and cordoned off from the uncorrupted. I mean, I suppose I could try to address the comment by mentioning pneumonia, influenza, tuberculosis, malaria, hepatitis B or C, infectious diarrhea and the vast, varied constellation of microbes that have attempted to use the human body as an incubator for as long as human bodies have existed on Earth — and which the commenter is likely exposed to (or may even expose others to) on a near-daily basis. In some cases, exposure to that microbe occurs through the biologically imperative action of having sex. In others, it’s through the biologically imperative action

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of breathing air. Or I could try to explain why it’s kind of unlikely that a person with HIV who’s driving down a highway will have condomless sex with the police officer who stops them for speeding. Or that, even if a porn video broke out in the middle of that traffic stop, the officer still wouldn’t be at risk if the person was on HIV treatment and had an undetectable viral load. Or I could ask what additional personal characteristics should warrant such a high level of warning for others who might encounter those people in the world. What level of abstract theoretical risk should trigger a tattoo- or license plate-level notice? Just HIV? Maybe syphilis, too? All infectious diseases, for good measure? How about mental illness? Epilepsy? Unstable blood sugar levels due to diabetes? Texting while driving? A part of me feels there’s not much point in responding, because any reply I make would be a rational response to a completely irrational train of thought. For more than 30 years, the global HIV community has tried to use research, science and education to counter presumption, ignorance and silence. Yet we still find ourselves surrounded by people who believe that HIV stigma and discrimination isn’t just acceptACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962


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able, but that it’s necessary. It’s exhausting. It’s demoralizing. It can make resistance feel pointless. And, I’m sorry to say, I don’t have any answers. Look, I realize I’m not remotely the first person to write about how much HIV stigma sucks, and I unfortunately won’t be the last person who’ll write about it either. I also don’t pretend I’ve got a magic solution to the problem; if anything, I think it’s dangerous for us to pretend there is one out there, just waiting to be discovered. Doing so ignores the reality of how wide a turning radius we often have as a society. We may be more interconnected as a species today than we’ve ever been, but in many ways we’ve also become more fragmented, more easily distracted and more forcefully isolated (both online and off). We’re also more closed off from points of view that might change our minds — as well as from people whose minds we might be able to change. I don’t think there’s an ideal way to counter stigma and bigotry. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to acceptance. I’m not even writing this article to offer advice; there’s plenty of that already out there, on my website and those run by the other writers who share this column

(among many other people). I’m just writing this article to say that I know. I hear the stigma, I see it, and I accept that it exists — and I hate that it does. I can wipe away a single destructive comment, but I can’t make the stigma go away. Instead I acknowledge it. I’m just one person. But if you feel this way, too, then there’s two of us in this boat. If you know another person who does, then we’ve got three. Maybe it’s not unreasonable to suspect there are a whole lot more, even though this fragmented world of ours can often make it feel like there aren’t. Maybe, just maybe, if enough of us acknowledge HIV stigma and make the world aware that we acknowledge it, we’ll find there are enough of us on this boat to help humanity slowly turn away from it. Or maybe it’s enough, for some of us, just to know we’re not alone. That try as some might to label and judge, they can’t take away our humanity. —Myles Helfand is the editorial director of and Find him on Twitter @MylesatTheBody. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, and Q Syndicate, the LGBT wire service.t

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GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016


HARLEY GRAY On his website, Ealy says that Harley Gray — formed by transposing the names of his two nieces, Harper Grace and Marley May — “is a representation of everything that I have learned that is important for a restaurant to be successful.” Now a young 46, Ealy first got into the business as a teen in Santa Cruz when his father — a CPA by trade — decided to invest in a restaurant in nearby Capitola. Ealy worked his way up the ranks at Zelda’s, but said it wasn’t always easy being the owner’s son. His parent’s divorce caused further strain, so fresh out of college Ealy headed for Los Angeles to pursue his dreams in the entertainment business. It wasn’t long, however, before his father dangled the idea of owning his own restaurant to lure him back home. By then Ealy was openly gay. “I said to myself, ‘there is no way in hell I want to move back to Santa Cruz,’” he said. “It was liberal but in 1994 I couldn’t imagine being out and living there and owning a beachfront property. I wanted an escape clause.” He returned home, anyway, and at 24, took over Ideal Bar and Grill, staying seven years. The restaurant is still one of his family’s five restaurants and the largest in both size and volume. Ealy first began visiting San Diego in the late ’90s to see his sister Jill, then a law student at USD, and said he was amazed at how a beach town could also double as a big city. He bought

(l to r) Melissa Scholz and Courtney Ray take a selfie together during the breakfast shift (Photo by Courtney Ray) The Boathouse and moved here full time and while staying closely involved with the other properties. In recent years, Ealy was content expanding his family ties, traveling, shuttling back and forth between his restaurants, and keeping an eye on his father’s ailing health. Harley Gray wasn’t always in the plan. Ealy said he had driven and walked past that corner every day for years and never considered the property, but one day he and friends were searching for the perfect brunch spot on Goldfinch and The Gathering was discussed. “It was like putting something out into the universe, because within three weeks I got a call from my broker, who said, ‘this is a really rare opportunity ...’ and it was The Gathering,” he said. Ealy said he kept putting ob-

stacles in his own way but things just kept falling into place. “I was waiting for something to tell me not to do it,” he said. Though everyone in town seemed interested in the property, once Ealy got 15 minutes with owner Dan Thomas, they clicked, and Thomas focused on Ealy. “He’s never been married, he has no children and he ran [The Gathering] with his sister … so the fact that I’m really close to my sister and we own restaurants really resonated with him,” Ealy said, adding that Thomas has become like a father figure to him. “I knew he’d owned this place for 30 years and I knew that I’d be gutting it,” he said. “I wanted him to be proud when he saw it. It was very emotional for me.” It was the first time Ealy had done a “soup to nuts” redesign and he said his best friend Nick,

an architect, and his interior designer, Elizabeth, made it memorable and fun. With a tight-knit staff, nightly specials — which include a lobster night — punchbowls filled with alcohol, group dining options, community seating and a popular brunch every weekend, Ealy has settled quite nicely into the neighborhood. Though he’s been involved with the Trevor Project in Los Angeles since 2000, Harley Gray appears to have grounded him locally, and he’s finding ways to support and give back to San Diego’s LGBT community with the help of longtime friend Courtney Ray. “The universe aligned in a way that allowed John to create this position, initially on a trial basis, and it has wonderfully evolved,” Ray said. “I have such a new level of respect for him and all

that it takes, and all the moving pieces of owning the restaurants.” With Ray’s help, Ealy now eagerly supports Mama’s Kitchen, The Center, the Rob Benson Foundation, and he buys 40 tickets each year for San Diego Pride’s Out at the Park, given to the Hillcrest Youth Center to use. This year, he is also the proud sponsor of a SDAFFL flag football team. “I already knew we were going to be the Harley Greyhounds — I had the name and the logo all figured out,” he said, adding that the league told him that is something the coaches generally choose. “But they liked it. We are out there almost every weekend. I bring Gatorade, orange slices — just like a team mom.” Next up will be the San Diego Hoops basketball league. While his father’s recent passing got in the way of a Harley Gray anniversary party, Ealy plans to hold their second annual Pride celebration in July and has lots of plans for the summer. His father’s passing also lightened a load he didn’t realize he’d been carrying. “I always knew what I would have to do if something happened to my dad,” he said. “But now that I’m doing it, the anticipation of it is gone and I feel weirdly relaxed. I’m in a mindset now where being in a relationship is much more of a possibility for me now than I ever thought it was before. I feel less jaded in a weird way and more prepared now.” You heard it here. Line up, gentlemen. —Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at


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GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016


LETTERS Cheers to a friend

Ref: “Slinging drinks in the Conch Republic,” Vol. 7, Issue 11, or online at

I’m so proud of Jef and his growth at Babycakes over the years. He’s an incredible bartender, takes great care of his customers (regulars and first-timers alike), and has become a great friend. I’m so thankful that he selected #BeTheGeneration as his charity, too. It’s such an important cause we are working on, and I’m so grateful to Jef for making it a priority. Go, Jef! —Benny Cartwright, via



is important. By launching this first-of-its-kind PrEP demonstration project, CHRP will help to address barriers to PrEP in the transgender population. “These studies will provide critical information on the implementation of PrEP among transgender people in California, and will help guide state and national efforts to address the epidemic in this often neglected population at high risk for HIV,” said George Lemp, DrPH, director of the UC-based CHRP. “We hope funding a project that focuses on the issues facing transgender people will provide knowledge to help increase access to and uptake of PrEP in this population, and

ultimately help to curtail the epidemic in this state.” In these demonstration projects, PrEP will be delivered as part of a comprehensive prevention package, including risk reduction counseling, sexually transmitted infection screening and other components. Gilead Sciences, Inc. of Foster City, CA will provide the HIV prevention pill Truvada. The three funded grantees are: Team 1: University of California San Diego School of Medicine, Los Angeles LGBT Center and Family Health Centers of San Diego. Lead project investigators are Sheldon Morris, Robert Bolan and Christian Ramers, respectively. The team will also collaborate with University of Southern California and Harbor- UCLA Medical Center; total 4-year budget: $3.75 million. These researchers will test if a transgender-focused case management approach to contextualize PrEP within the needs of the whole person can improve PrEP linkage and engagement in the transgender population. They plan to use an already developed personalized text messaging reminder system and will test if adding real-time counseling at times of missed doses will improve overall success in taking regular dosing over the course of study. In addition, they will examine possible drug interactions between PrEP use and feminizing hormones by using the daily reporting of doses taken by text messaging to confirm whether the same drug levels expected to be protective for HIV are achieved by transgender women on hormonal therapy, and if taking PrEP is associated with any changes in hormone levels. “This is truly an exciting opportunity to advance HIV prevention in transgender individuals with a high level of scientific rigor,” said principal investigator Sheldon Morris, MD, assistant professor of family medicine and public health at UC San Diego School of Medicine Team 2: University of California, San Francisco (principal investigator Jae Sevelius and co-principal investigator Madeline Deutsch), The Gladstone Institutes (co-principal investigator Robert Grant), The Gender Health Center in Sacramento (co-investigator Ben Hudson) and La Clinica de la Raza in Oakland (co-investigator Leyla Welborn); total 4-year budget: $2.9 million. The team will develop and evaluate “Trans ResearchInformed communities United in Mobilization for the Prevention of HIV (TRIUMPH),” a culturallyrelevant, community-led PrEP demonstration project driven by the needs and experiences of transgender women of color. The TRIUMPH uptake intervention consists of community-led mobilization efforts to increase knowledge and acceptability of PrEP, utilizing PrEP champions from within trans communities and trans-specific PrEP educational materials, including trans-specific patient decision aids that will assist people in making informed choices about PrEP. To improve adherence, the team is planning an intervention consisting of peer-led health workshops and one-on-one personalized adherence counseling sessions. The team will also conduct a pharmacokinetic sub-study to investigate potential drug interactions between PrEP and hormone use. This research will answer important questions about how the proposed interventions affect people’s choices about whether or not to take PrEP, whether they take it as prescribed, whether PrEP is effective and whether participants take PrEP for the duration of the study. “Our team has been conducting community-based research with trans communities across California and beyond for more than a decade, including behavioral HIV prevention intervention development for transgender women of color,” said Sevelius. “The HIV-related disparities experienced by trans women have been exacerbated by the ongoing aggregation of trans women with men-having-sex-with-men (MSM)

data and the persistence of inadequate prevention approaches adapted from MSM strategies without knowledge or consideration of trans women’s unique sociocultural context. We believe these efforts will result in an unprecedented and highly valuable contribution to the field of HIV prevention among transgender communities.” Team 3: San Francisco Department of Public Health Population Health Division (lead project investigators Albert Liu and Erin Wilson), Tom Waddell Urban Health Center (co-investigator Royce Lin), Castro Mission Health Center (Chris Nguyen), Asian Pacific Islander Wellness Center (co-investigator Tri Do) and Tri City Health Center in Fremont (co-investigator Zettie Page); total 4-year budget: $2.6 million. Team 3 will use a patientcentered medical home approach to develop and evaluate a comprehensive PrEP education, access and support package for HIV-negative transwomen and transmen in the San Francisco Bay Area (SFBA). The team will develop a broad, trans-specific social marketing campaign to increase knowledge about PrEP and will collaborate with staff to integrate PrEP delivery and support into four of the largest trans-specific clinics in the SFBA that provide culturally-competent care, including hormone provision. Specifically, their proposed interventions include a sexual risk assessment tool, online education, SMS-based adherence, reminders/support, panel management and peer navigators. Research will determine the acceptability of the tools, PrEP uptake and adherence, most useful support strategies and measure any social harms and benefits of PrEP use. They will also investigate potential drug interactions between PrEP and hormone use. The long-term goal is to create a successful PrEP delivery and support model that can be scaled up to increase PrEP uptake and adherence among atrisk transgender women and men in California and the nation. “These projects have the potential to fill an unmet scientific and public health need,” said Tri Do, MD, Chief Medical Officer at Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center. “More critically, the transgender community may finally get to see health care equity when it comes to new HIV infections.” Find more UC San Diego News at


GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016



ing protected by Morse Security.’ It felt a bit historic to me and I wanted to save it as homage to the building’s origins,” she continued. “The owner was a Holocaust survivor and the original ‘Morse’ was Samuel Morse, an artist who painted two of our American presidents and also invented the Morse code ... it felt as if the building came full circle.” Today, the 8,000-square-foot space — located at 4434 30th St. between Adams and Meade avenues — is now handicapaccessible and it boasts two successful art galleries on the first floor that also serve as classrooms during the week and Ashton said the upstairs is home to 17 private art studios. “Each artist is encouraged to hold an open studio to the public when we have art openings,” she said. “It is a great opportunity for them to show their work and potentially make sales.” Ashton, a longtime Mission Hills resident who is openly gay, taught art classes for nearly a decade at the former San Diego Art Department on Ray Street, also in North Park, before branching out on her own. “I not only own an art center that serves the community, I am building an arts community, making better artists and giving them opportunities,” she said. “At the end of the day that’s a very powerful thing to do.” While art shows are curated every five to six weeks at the gallery, Ashton said the upcoming “Go Figure!” exhibition, which

(top) The first floor doubles as classrooms and exhibition space; (bottom) a local artist's work greets visitors (Courtesy Art on 30th) opens June 18, will feature artists painting human figures along with artists that include numerical figures in their pieces. “All the galleries try to bring different categories of artists into the space but there are a lot of people within the local arts community who are abstract,”

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she said. “Go Figure! allowed me to reach out to people who paint figurative work and get a chance to show their work as well, and to give them a deeper hand into the arts community.” Those interested in participating still have until 4 p.m. on June 11 to drop off their submissions.

Ashton said while their last show drew 80 submissions, they were only able to hang 35. Still, she said they appreciate all entries and interest, because it helps “build the arts community.” “A lot of artists are very solitary and having the ability to network and interact is so very important,” Ashton said, adding that those who attend the opening reception will also get a peek into the artist spaces upstairs. “There are glass doors on every studio which lets people look in and see the artwork even if the artist is not there,” she said. “It’s very interesting to get a look into an artist’s private studio. Some are neat and tidy and others are a total whirlwind. A lot of artists want to see how other artists are painting or what different studios look like and this is a great opportunity to see what the Art on 30th artists are doing.”


Ashton said she is currently mentoring a dozen professional artists through her mentorship program. “I help them develop their unique visual voice and also help them learn how to market their art,” she said. “Many wonderful places in San Diego County teach art, but there is little to no teaching about how to introduce your art to the marketplace.” In October, Ashton said the gallery will host its “biggest show of the year” in conjunction with Halloween, called the “Edgar Allen Poe Show.” Curated by the Edgar Allen Poe Museum in Richmond, Virginia, Ashton said the national show gives Poe enthusiasts “a chance to be creative with his image, poetry or short stories.” Art on 30th is located in the North Park Arts and Culture District at 4434 30th St. The “Go Figure!” exhibition will from June 18 – 23, with the show’s opening reception June 18, from 6 – 8 p.m. There is no cost to attend. “Ashton Gallery, 30 Artists on 30th Street,” a new book featuring the work of local artists involved with the gallery, will also be available at the reception. For information about the Go Figure! opening or the Art on 30th gallery, visit —Editor Morgan M. Hurley contributed to this report. —Margie M. Palmer is a San Diego-based freelance writer who has been racking up bylines in a myriad of news publications for the past 10 years. You can write to her at



GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016

The Butch beneath our wings

(Lea DeLaria |LDL) It’s really shocking for me to believe it’s our fourth season. I thought I’d have way more money by now! (CA) What about this season stands out from the past three? (LDL) I think what people are going to find about the fourth season is that it’s darker than the other seasons. They really explore some of the shitty things about being in prison. There’s a lot I can’t talk about. I think it’s going to be much darker than you’ve seen in the past. Still funny, but there’s definitely a darkness involved. But Boo is going to be Boo as Boo always is.

Lea DeLaria reflects on her landmark TV moment, talks ‘hero’ Bette Midler and making tough lesbians cry By Chris Azzopardi First the screwdriver, then the peanut butter. But Lea DeLaria’s love for “Orange Is the New Black” goes beyond the craftiness of her shenanigans with both a hand tool and a classic sandwich spread as a regular on TV’s Emmy-winning prison drama. Sure, Netflix has afforded the veteran actress a deep cargo-pocket of outrageous antics, but “Orange” isn’t only here for your amusement. More importantly, the series and DeLaria’s riotous, randy character, Big Boo, are part of the show’s heralded inclusivity. Breaking ground as the first openly gay comic to perform on American television, in 1993 on “The Arsenio Hall Show,” DeLaria is still carrying the torch on TV two decades later on “Orange,” representing a deeply unsung subset in the queer community: the butch lesbian. As the show embarks on its icy fourth season, the 58-year-old called in for a tell-all interview

(CA) You get to do some crazy stuff on this show. What’s your relationship like with peanut butter at this point? (LDL) Yeah, I can’t eat peanut butter at all, as a matter of fact. [Laughs] (CA) Seriously? (LDL) Yeah, I don’t really eat

peanut butter. But yeah, I believe that the writers sit around and go, “What’s the fucking most insane thing we can think of? Let’s give it to DeLaria!” They know I’ll do anything for a laugh.

DeLaria was the first openly gay comic on network television. (Courtesy Netflix) about the “lesser known” controversy surrounding her historical TV debut: How the Fox network was not fond of the actress’ lavish gayness and wanted to put the brakes on her groundbreaking “Arsenio” appearance. Who stepped in to fight Fox’s resistance to the landmark stint? Why the actress has turned down so

many gay roles since then, and why she thinks we should drop the community’s longtime collective acronym, LGBT? Read on as DeLaria reveals all.

(Chris Azzopardi | CA) “Orange Is the New Black” is now in its fourth season. Is that hard to believe?

(CA) When it comes to acting, you’ve been at it longer than most people know. An eternity, right? (LDL) It feels like an eternity. (CA) You don’t look like an eternity. (LDL) Good genes, I can assure you. It’s certainly not from taking care of myself, as anyone who’s seen me in the West Village, drunk on my butt at 4 in the

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morning, knows.

(CA) How is post-“Orange” life different from pre-“Orange” life? Are you recognized more often on the streets? (LDL) Oh yeah, I’m recognized nonstop. Before — first of all, not everybody was carrying their camera with them like they do now, so I would get stopped … I’d get stopped enough. I wouldn’t say frequently, and I wouldn’t say infrequently; it was somewhere in the middle. Generally, it’s “Hey, you’re Lea DeLaria; can I have your autograph?” Now I can’t even walk out of my front doorstep. It’s like, “Oh my god! ‘Orange is the New Black’!” It just goes on all day. (CA) Can you still even go to gay bars? (LDL) All the time. I could never go to a gay bar before! I mean, before “Orange” that would be the one place everyone knew who I was. I made the decision very early on in my life that I’m going to live my life, and if people come up to me, I’m going to be friendly and charming the way I am. I don’t want to lock myself in my room. I just don’t want to do that, so I’m out all the time. (CA) How does the treatment of LGBT characters and sexuality on “Orange” compare to your previous lesbian roles, both big and small? (LDL) What’s different about it more than anything else in the world is that it’s real. Believe me, as you’ve said, I played a lot of them, big and small, and I can assure you I’ve said “no” more than I’ve said “yes” to these roles. A lot of roles I say no to are because they’re just so completely stereotyped and bullshit that I won’t play them anymore. (CA) You say “anymore.” What changed? (LDL) When I started out in the business, I played them because it was work. And then it just got to be ridiculous. I just said, “This is it. I can’t do this anymore unless someone is going to give me a real character.” Like the chick I played on “Californication”! If you’re going to give me a real character, I’m going to knock it out of the park for you. If you’re just gonna make it the same ol‘ stereotypical bullshit butch, I’m not interested. But that’s what’s great about our show, and not just with the queer characters but with what it does with women, what it does for trans people — what it does for everybody. We’re real. We’re three dimensional. We’re honest. We cry. We laugh. We talk about life, you know? That’s the biggest difference. And not to mention the very warm, friendly, threedimensional positive portrayal of a butch dyke that is incredibly unique and unusual, so I’m loving doing that. (CA) As a butch lesbian yourself, how do you think Boo is opening doors for the butch lesbian community? (LDL) I know that she is because I get direct messages on Instagram. I get, like, 150 of them a day from all over the world, from all these different women saying, “Thank God for ‘Orange Is the New Black,’ thank God for Big Boo. I now know that it is see Lea, pg 14


GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016


(l to r) Karole Foreman and Ro Boddie are part of a large cast. (Photo by Daren Scott)

A ‘sort of’ adaptation at Cygnet Theater Review Charlene Baldridge When the Cygnet usher cautions you to read the synopsis (an insert sheet in the program), it is cause for concern, especially when it is not a synopsis of the play you’re about to see but of the play it’s based upon. Now I have to write about the stupid f**king play, the title of which is “Stupid F**king Bird,” playing at Cygnet Theatre through June 19. Never got around to reading the script. I seldom read reviews of other productions. The usher’s recommendation ignored, I had read the study guide that Cygnet Theatre sent out in advance of the opening. I’ve seen so many productions of the original that I cannot go back to being a virgin. One either knows Anton Chekhov’s 1896 “The Seagull,” or one does not. Understanding and enjoyment of this play should not depend upon pedantry. That having been said, much has gone missing, including many characters, so it’s a futile exercise to read the synopsis of the other play. “Stupid F**king Bird” is directed by Cygnet Associate Artistic Director Rob Lutfy. The author is Aaron Posner. Somewhere, it was written that only those stuck in Chekhov’s original would come away disgruntled. I wasn’t put off so much because I’ve seen “The Seagull” so many times and loved it so much, as I was put off by Posner’s consummate laziness and anger that he, unlike Chekhov, gave each of his lovefrustrated characters an aria in which to explain what makes him/ her tick, to spell out exactly what his/her motivations are. It’s Chekhov without sweat. Posner, despite being f**king clever, doesn’t always get it right. My other, rather gleeful observation: Sometimes he’s as irritating and stuffed with longheures as Chekhov. Never mind that I missed the flavor of Russia and Russian sensibilities and the feeling that Moscow (and love’s fulfillment) lay not too far away. What Posner delivers is a f**king funny play to be pondered

(l to r) Ro Boddie and Brian Rickel in another scene (Photo Daren Scott)

“Stupid F**king Bird”

a “sort of” adaption of Anton Chekhov’s “The Seagull” By Aaron Posner Directed by Rob Lutfy Wednesdays and Thursdays, 7:30 p.m. Fridays, 8 p.m. Saturdays, 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. Sundays, 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. Through June 19 Cygnet Theatre 4040 Twiggs St., Old Town State Park Tickets start at $36

“Immersive rich in atmosphere and plenty entertaining! The exceptional cast keeps right in tune with playwright Kimber Lee’s often witty text.” The San Diego Union-Tribune or 619-337-1525 and enjoyed long after it is ended. Especially to be admired are the performances of Ro Boddie as Con, the young dramatist who seeks to change the future of theater and is in love with Nina; Karole Foreman as Con’s mother, Emma, a great actress; Francis Gercke as Emma’s young lover, Trig, already an established literary figure in Moscow; Walter Murray as Sorn, Emma’s brother and owner of the country estate where the action takes place; Brian Rickel as the tutor, who loves Mash; Rachel Esther Tate as Nina, who is beloved of Con but runs off in pursuit of Trig; and Jacque Wilke as Mash, who hopelessly loves Con. Their corresponding Chekhov characters might be put in parentheses, but it is not necessary for you to know this to appreciate Posner’s “sort of” adaptation. Andrew Hull’s provocative scenic design and Veronica Murphy’s imaginative costumes are especially enjoyed. Michael Mizerany choreographed the movement and

R. Craig Wolf and David Scott are responsible for lighting and sound respectively. What would have been wonderful, and was no doubt considered by Cygnet, was a budgetbusting repertoire of the two plays: the brilliant, life-changing original and its brilliant “sort of” modern contemplation of love, its necessity, and its futility. Let’s face it, nothing has changed and few of us get what we want, or even know what we want. And those that do can’t recognize it or handle it. Life’s a f**king mess. What you should know is that Boddie is one of the bravest actors ever witnessed, Wilke really plays the ukulele and Carole Foreman has grown beautifully since last we saw her at San Diego Rep. Wasn’t that eons ago? — Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the arts since 1979. You can follow her blog at or reach her at

tokyo fish story By Kimber Lee Directed by May Adrales Now Playing! Through June 26 (619) 23-GLOBE (234-5623) Tim Chiou and James Saito. Photo by Jim Cox.



GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016

Game changer at a popular North Park landmark Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr. The restaurant inside North Park’s LGBT-friendly Lafayette Hotel, named Hope 46, just got a whole lot sexier with its new lunch and dinner menus that put the old ones to shame. Gone are the “easy foods,” as described by marketing manager David Chan, when referring to the pre-manufactured meatballs, chicken fingers and other freezer grub that executive chef Ryan Gilbert enthusiastically axed when revamping the menus last month. Gilbert was the sous chef at Maderas Golf Club in Poway, where he cooked like any credible chef does these days by using as many locally sourced ingredients as possible and making sauces and dressings from scratch. The food at Hope 46 has now entered that league. Situated off the hotel’s elegant conservatory, the restaurant (formerly known as Imig’s) took its current name several years ago based on the property’s first registered guest and the year he checked in. The visitor was comedian Bob Hope. The year was 1946. The name is also a tribute to the hotel’s architect, Frank Hope — no relation to Bob. Vintage memorabilia and a central marble-top bar dominate Hope’s interior, duly capturing the days when Hollywood actors and producers made pit stops at the

Hope 46

2223 El Cajon Blvd. (North Park)


Dinner prices: Appetizers and salads, $10 to $15; flatbreads, $11 to $13; entrees, $14 to $22

(l to r) Spicy shrimp with grilled baguette; citrus chicken with veggies; shrimp mole flat bread (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) Lafayette on their way to shoot films in Mexico. The rear patio looks out to the swimming pool, which is surrounded by renovated suites and has become a main attraction to LGBT locals and guests, thanks to the hotel’s sustained marketing efforts to LGBT consumers throughout Southern California and Arizona. The restaurant’s renewed bill

of fare coincides with utilizing a larger section of the patio. It’s an idyllic setting for Gilbert’s spicy shrimp in herbed compound butter or flat iron steak with sensational chili-banana mole, although a few basic touches are still lacking: tea lights on the tables, cushions on the metal chairs, and working outdoor heaters. We began with the shrimp, which featured five large crustaceans in a buttery pool of herbs, garlic, lemon and Serrano chilies. Like a gourmet version of scampi, it came with grilled baguette for mopping up the precious juice. Our second appetizer, tempura chicken, was above average. The batter tasted richer compared to classic Japanese versions, and the daikon-pineapple slaw served alongside proved a flattering sidekick. My companion was especially

fond of our salad choice, the Baja wedge dressed lightly in red pepper vinaigrette. The charred romaine was strewn prettily with cotija cheese, scallions and baby tomatoes. It also featured chorizo, which I felt was incoherent to the flavor profile. Good on its own, but a little too aggressive for fresh veggies. The aforementioned banana mole infused with guajillo peppers — plus garlic, onions, chocolate and spices — appears with the flat steak as well as on a flatbread topped with shrimp. We had both dishes and welcomed the mole’s repeat. The flatbread was toasted beautifully in a salamander oven, offering the same exalted crunch achieved from wood firing, if not better. The mole served as the bedding for cotija cheese, sweet peppers, shrimp, cubed avocado and chorizo, which in this case, tasted perfectly at home with the


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other ingredients. Parsley-rich chimichurri sauce joined forces with the mole in the flat iron steak entrée, which my companion rated as the best dinner he had in a long time. The tender cut was cooked medium as ordered and served with “Sinaloa style” spicy pinto beans, which harbored tantalizing spices we couldn’t identify. When learning that the half-chicken is marinated in orange and grapefruit juices, we couldn’t resist. In addition, it’s rubbed with thyme and tarragon, the two herbs tailor-made for poultry that added verve to the sauterne jus. Roasted to order and juicy to the bone, it came with a generous medley of baby potatoes and Brussels sprouts hiding bits of medjool dates and pork belly — a chicken dish with rare panache. Gilbert’s latest offerings also include lamb lollipops, wild boar with orecchiette pasta, vegetarian gnocchi with cauliflower cream sauce, wine-braised lamb shank and more. Desserts are sourced from gay-owned San Diego Desserts. We skipped over the berry tart and triple chocolate mousse cake in lieu of Italian lemon cake. An obscure finding in San Diego, this delivered mild tanginess balanced by candied lemon zest and pastry cream, much like the versions made in Italy, though perhaps sans the Limoncello, which I didn’t detect. Hope 46 also serves brunch from 7 a.m. – 2 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays, and it will take part in the Lafayette Hotel’s upcoming 70th anniversary celebration from 6 – 10 p.m., July 1. The restaurant plans on converting to a 50s-style soda fountain diner with live entertainment, although the bar will be in full swing as well, selling libations from its established list of craft beers, global wines and timeless cocktails. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at


GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016


The name sums up the concept at Beerfish, which soft-opened June 8 in North Park to an all-seafood menu (except for a chicken sandwich). The venture is rigged with 30 craft beer taps, plus five wine taps, although owner Abel Kaase says he is still waiting for final approval of his alcohol license before the drinks can be served. Kaase also owns Sessions Public in Ocean Beach. Heading up the kitchen is Aaron Obregon, formerly of D Bar and Bay Park Fish Co. His menu includes lobster rolls, fish and chips, and a full oyster bar. Situated in a converted house, customers order at the counter before seizing a table within the predominately outdoor dining area. 2933 Adams Ave.,

A hotspot for drinking and eating is coming to Bankers Hill (Alternative Strategies)

Taking shape in Bankers Hill is The Corner Drafthouse, due to open by late June at Laurel Street and Fifth Avenue in the space previously occupied by Hexagone. The drink menu will spotlight more than 70 local and regional beers on tap, as well as wine and craft cocktails. Executive chef and partner Dan Sobek has created a menu of California-inspired salads, share plates, sandwiches and entrees for lunch, dinner and weekend brunch. He previously worked at luxury hotels in London and New York. The venture is being co-launched by David Creviston of The Beir Garden of Encinitas. It will feature communal and booth seating in addition to a few outdoor patios. 495 Laurel St., In a follow-up to our recent report on The Wellington Steak & Martini Lounge closing for re-branding June 20, owner Trish Watlington has since announced the Mission Hills space will be renamed Bar by Red Door, which is slated to open in mid-July. The cocktail list is still in the works, although Chef Miguel Valdez has revealed a few dishes comprising his menu of mostly small plates: grilled seasonal carrots with burrata and pesto; scallops paired with summer squash and heirloom tomatoes; and quinoa sopes with farm chicken and a cage-free egg. Wellington’s last night for dinner will be June 19, after which it will undergo an exterior-interior redesign that eliminates the dark, sultry motif in lieu of large windows accenting its A-frame roof. 741 W. Washington St., 619-2956000,

Bino’s Bistro & Creperie in Hillcrest has closed after operating for nearly three years. Coming into its place this summer is Taste of the Himalayas, which has locations in the Midway District and La Jolla. The menu will spotlight chicken, lamb and vegetable dishes that are similar to northern Indian cuisine, but made with less oil and more spices. 1260 University Ave.,

Taste of Little Italy promises pasta, pizza, risotto, seafood and more. (Luna Photo)

If you haven’t visited any of Little Italy’s hottest new restaurants, the upcoming Taste of Little Italy allows you to sample their fare within a single evening, from 5 to 9 p.m., June 15. More than 35 restaurants are taking part, including the neighborhood’s most recent arrivals: Bracero Cocina de Raiz, Herb & Eatery, The Crack Shack, Café Gratitude and more. They’ll be joined by established favorites such as Café Zucchero, Filippi’s Pizza Grotto, Indigo Grill and others. The event offers consumers two different tasting routes (north and south) with about 20 bars and restaurants contained in each, and all within walking distance of each other. The cost is $36 per route if purchased in advance, and $43 at the ticket booths. For more information, call the Little Italy Association of San Diego at 619-233-3898 or visit

A butchering demo and pig roast conducted by staff from The Heart & Trotter in North Park is planned for a summer solstice barbecue from 3 – 7 p.m., June 18, at the Get your weekly fix of fried chicken at the Smok’d Hog certified-organic Nopalito Farm & Hopyard in Valley (Photo by Chris McAfee) Center. Beer for the event will be supplied by Amplified The Smok’d Hog in Hillcrest recently introduced “fried Ale Works and Monkey Paw Brewing Company. chicken Fridays,” every week from 11 a.m. – 9 p.m. (or unRoundtrip shuttle service is available at 2:30 p.m. from til supplies last). The poultry recipe hails from the eatery’s South Park Brewing Company (1517 30th St.) for $20. chef, GuBon Stewart, who fries to order quarter-leg secGeneral admission for the barbecue is $55. Tickets can be tions that are brined in-house and dusted in flour. The cook purchased online at time is about 20 minutes and customers are encouraged to 30321 Castlecrest Drive, Valley Center, CA. phone in their orders ahead of time. The cost is $9, or $15 with a choice of two side dishes. 3749 Park Blvd., 619-546—Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@san. 5467,




OK for me to be who I am,” and they’re not just talking about being gay; they’re talking about being a butch. I get constant messages about it. Constant! And then people come up to me on the street. I’ve had really hard-ass butches cry when they talk to me, which is … trust me, it’s hard for us to cry. So finally somebody is putting out there who we actually are. I feel like season three, episode four, which is the Boo backstory episode — I believe that’s done as much for butches as season one, episode three, did for the transgender community.

(CA) Do lesbians send you letters from jail? (LDL) I don’t get letters from people in jail. What I do get are the conversations with them after they’re out. I hear from guards, from COs, from wardens, from assistant wardens and from ex-prisoners on the street telling me how much our show hits the nail on the head. It’s very real. It’s very much like that. I think that’s a really intense compliment. I’m not that kind of actor. Like Taylor (Schilling), who is an amazing actor, she went to a women’s prison. Kate Mulgrew went to a women’s prison. To look at, to get the feel, to get the backbone of their character. I watched “Lockup.” [Laughs] (CA) What’s your earliest memory of subverting gender norms? Were you a tomboy? (LDL) Yeah, I was what we called a tomboy back then. It’s very interesting … when I went to a thrift store and got my first suit and put it on for the first time, it was like putting on my own skin. I was 17. (CA) When did you get the “butch” tattoo on your forearm? (LDL) It must’ve been the ’90s. it?


GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016

(CA) What’s the story behind (LDL) I like tattoos! I’ve got a

lot of ’em. I just wanted it to say “butch,” and I went in and told [the tattoo artist] what I wanted. After we got done, I couldn’t see it because of the angle, and he goes, “It’s fantastic! It says ‘bitch’ perfectly!” And I went insane. “YOU PUT BITCH ON THERE?” And he laughed — he got me so good. He laughed soooo hard at me. He totally got me. But he was just messing with me — he knew better than to put bitch on my arm.

(CA) So 1993 comes around and you’re the first openly gay comic to break through the late night talk-show circuit with an appearance on “The Arsenio Hall Show.” (LDL) It was more than that — I was the first openly gay comic to perform on television, period, in America. I mean, it was late night, which was really huge, but yeah. Nobody. It was me. (CA) What were you feeling in

that moment? (LDL) Scared as shit! Terrified, just terrified. All I could think was, “What if I bomb?” And I had “20/20” following me. So I wasn’t just doing “The Arsenio Hall Show” — I was also doing fucking “20/20.” It was craziness because it was such a big deal. I’m not sure how it happened but the universe aligned and the planets aligned perfectly and I killed. It was nine and a half minutes of television gold, so yeah, I was lucky. Could’ve gone either way. The audience could have hated me. I was not lightly gay, if you know what I mean. I wasn’t gay-lite. I was as queer as it gets. They did an article in The Advocate right after it happened. They taped it and apparently I said the words “dyke,” “fag” and “queer” 47 times. I mean, it was the second sentence I uttered: “Hello everybody, I’m Lea DeLaria. It’s the 1990s, it’s hip to be queer and I’m a big dyke.”

(CA) We needed somebody to be that person. (LDL) I think that was probably right. It was the early part of the ’90s, so we were having that

DeLaria is experiencing renewed popularity with her role as Big Boo on Netflix's Orange is the New Black. (Courtesy Netflix) rift about the words queer and dyke and fag. The lesser-known story is that they almost didn’t air it because I said queer and dyke and fag. The lawyers called Arsenio in and said, “We don’t think you should let this go out.” They were trying to pull it and Arsenio — again this is the lesser story that people don’t know — had a fit and said, “She’s a dyke. If she wants to call herself a dyke then it’s none of your fucking business.” He fought for it and got me on the air. The lawyers at Fox were saying, “Noooo.” It was a big deal at the time; now it’s ho-hum. But back then it was huge. You gotta remember, Ellen [DeGeneres] wasn’t out yet. Rosie [O’Donnell] wasn’t out yet. None of these guys were out yet.

(CA) Shifting gears: Let’s talk about your cameo in one of the gayest classics of all time, “First Wives Club.” What’s an onscreen scolding from Bette Midler like? (LDL) Just like an off-screen scolding! [Laughs] (CA) Wait wait, there’s a story


(LDL) I gotta say, you must be about my fiancée’s age because everybody of her generation

— she’s 31 — loves that movie. That’s her favorite movie. I’m like, mine’s “Rebecca.” I’m just saying, “First Wives Club” is your favorite movie?! The best thing about “First Wives Club,” though, beyond the fact that I got to be in it and beyond the fact that Paul Rudnick wrote that for me, which was very cool, was getting to work with Bette, who is my hero and one of the reasons I went into show business. But more than that was becoming friends with Goldie Hawn. Goldie is just an absolute unbelievable doll. Talented. Brilliant. Charming. Just a lovely human being. I had a blast doing “First Wives Club.”

(CA) More recently, you called out a preacher while on the New York subway. (LDL) That guy? It’s an insult to preachers to call him a preacher. He’s just a homophobic asshole. (CA) It went viral. (LDL) It went viral so fast I

couldn’t believe it, in fact. I was on TMZ within a half hour. That was the thing: I was on a subway on my way to the studio — we were filming — so what had hap-

pened, I got out of the subway and I called my manager. I said, “Look, I had a confrontation. Somebody pulled out their phone and they videotaped it soooo there might be something on social media.” Twenty minutes later, he called me and said, “You’re on TMZ.” It was hilarious! It just went nuts.

(CA) You famously dropped out of Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival in 2014 because of their womyn-born-womyn stipulation, which discourages transgender people from attending. And you’ve spoken many times on the topic of “infighting,” saying once, “We queers need to find a way to stop this fighting and work together towards our common goal.” In the years since canceling your MichFest appearance, have you seen any noticeable change regarding the unification of the queer community? (LDL) Absolutely not. I speak at universities now because apparently I’m a role model [laughs]. It just makes me laugh. Like, honey, if I’m a role model, queers are in a lot of fucking trouble. I speak about it a lot, but when we come together and don’t infight, we get a lot done. That’s how we defeated DOMA, that’s how we defeated Prop 8, that’s why the SCOTUS decision happened. But in the midst of all that I still find myself constantly dealing with the more conservative queers and the more radical queers like myself, and as I said in the statement when I pulled out of MichFest: How fucked up is it when I’m the voice of reason? You’ve got to be kidding me that you guys can’t see this. When Lea DeLaria and Larry Kramer are the voices of reasons, people are fucked. ’Cause we’re the two biggest bitches on the planet! We’re little brats. We scream and yell until people listen to us, that’s who we are. This is the biggest issue we have in the queer community to date and will continue to be the biggest issue until we learn to accept our differences, and that’s the issue. And part of me believes that this inclusivity of calling us the LGBTQQTYwhatever-LMNOP tends to stress our differences. And that’s why I refuse to do it. I say queer. Queer is everybody. —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at and on Twitter @ chrisazzopardi.t





















San Diego Bay













































Public comment at the hearing

At the May 24 public hearing, the comments were largely onesided as the bicycling community came out in force to overshadow the voices who spoke out against part of the project. The area of contention is dubbed “the gap” in the Uptown Bikeways plans, which is located in the business district of Hillcrest where the western portion of University Avenue is much narrower than the eastern portion. Not only is this a bottleneck for traffic, but it is called a nightmare for cyclists. On June 5 last year, SANDAG’s Transportation Committee, despite widespread community opposition, voted to constrain the project’s University Avenue segment from First Avenue to 10th Avenue, roughly ending at the State Route 163 overpass. The vote created “the gap” between protected bikes lanes that head west along West University Avenue to West Washington Street, and down the hill to the Washington Street Trolley Station and with a connection to the Old Town Transit Center via San Diego Avenue and Congress Street. On the eastern end, “the gap” ends at the SR-163 overpass, where protected bike lanes head east on University Avenue to Normal Street, and then north to Lincoln Avenue. It also connects to the proposed Park Boulevard protected bikeway. Critics blamed “the gap” on intensive lobbying by the 1,200-member Hillcrest Business Association (HBA). At the public hearing, Benjamin Nicholls, executive director of the HBA, endorsed most of the project, and supported keeping “the gap” in Hillcrest. The HBA’s other objections mostly are over a loss of parking spaces, which Nicholls said would negatively impact businesses in those locations. “I am extremely concerned about Fourth and Fifth avenues between Robinson [Avenue] and Washington Street,” Nicholls said. “Within a one block area of the iconic Hillcrest sign, we will lose 16 parking spaces.” Nicholls said the HBA strongly opposed protected bike lanes north of Robinson Avenue. Chris Dugan of the California Restaurant Association and Cindy Eldridge, representing Carlton Management, spoke out against any loss of parking in the Hillcrest area. Dugan said the loss of parking would pose “an economic hardship” for restaurants nearby. But Paul Jamason, a board member of BikeSD, scoffed at the opposition to the project being based solely on a loss of a few parking spaces. “Losing 12 to 16 parking spaces is not a lot,” Jamason said, noting that there are 700 off-street parking spaces in that area. “There is no safe biking route through Hillcrest. To say people’s lives are worth less than a few parking spaces is ludicrous.” Jamason’s comments drew applause from the audience. Samantha “Sam” Ollinger, executive director of BikeSD, pointed out that San Diegans drive to Mission Valley to eat and shop at the malls, and are willing to park in garages or use off-street parking and walk con-








GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016












This map shows the obvious "gap" in the bikeways plan, right in the center of Hillcrest (Courtesy SANDAG) siderable distances to get to their destination. “Mission Valley today is an economic engine,” she said. She suggested that Hillcrest should learn from Mission Valley’s success, and said that one solution would be to build more parking options to alleviate the problem. Several residents echoed the need to build a parking structure in Hillcrest, pointing to the two public parking garages built in North Park. A handful of people, who identified themselves as motorists as well as avid bicyclists, testified that they did not come to Hillcrest very often because it wasn’t safe to bike on the roads. “I would love to spend my money in Hillcrest, if I felt safe,” Catherine Day said. “But biking on University is terrifying.” Several other commenters also used the word “terrifying” to describe road conditions for bicyclists. Andy Hanshaw, executive director of the San Diego County Bicycle Coalition, said his members fully support the project because it would help reduce greenhousegas emissions and benefit the city’s ambitious Climate Action Plan — which aims to slash those emissions in half by 2035. He, too, wanted “the gap” to be upgraded for bikers.

What the project proposes

The Uptown Bikeways project is a high priority portion of SANDAG’s $200 million Regional Bike Plan Early Action Program, a decade-long effort to expand the regional bike network throughout San Diego County. Building bikeways is part of a larger goal of increasing transportations choices by making biking a viable, safe and attractive alternative to driving vehicles. For bicyclists, the Uptown Bikeways project will link up with other ongoing projects to provide connectivity to Downtown, Old Town, Balboa Park, North Park and Mission Valley. For community members, the goal is to promote active living and

healthy lifestyles, making streets safer not only for bicyclists, but for pedestrians and motorists and public transit. Planning began in 2013 and the preliminary engineering and environmental clearance began in 2014. Dozens of public meetings were conducted along the way to get community feedback. The final design begins this year.

Phase 1 of construction is expected to begin in 2017. The first segment includes Fourth and Fifth avenues, from B Street in Downtown through Bankers Hill and Park West to Washington Street in Hillcrest. To read more about SANDAG’s Uptown Bikeways project, visit To add public comments on

the project, email chris.kluth@ before the June 24 meeting. —Ken Williams is editor of San Diego Uptown News and can be reached at or at 619-961-1952. Follow him on Twitter at @KenSanDiego, Instagram at @KenSD or Facebook at KenWilliamsSanDiego.t

events attheCenter tuesdays, June 14 & 28

thursday, June 23

Free Legal Clinic

Summer Solstice at the Del

9-11 am, the Center

6 pm, hotel Del Coronado

The Access to Law Initiative, a project of California Western School of Law, holds legal clinics the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month at The Center. At these clinics, attorneys will be available for free, 30-minute consultations to help evaluate legal issues. No appointment is required. For more information, call 619.692.2077.


Saturday, June 18

Growing Your Family

annual Summer Solstice event. Live entertainment, tray-passed delights and one of the best views in the county! All funds raised help support the Sunburst Youth Housing Project. Don’t miss it! Get your tickets today at

Friday, June 24

9:30 am - 2:30 pm, the Center Join Families @ The Center for a seminar on growing your family. Four speakers will share their knowledge and helpful navigation exploring preconception, pregnancy, postpartum, foster care, adoption and fertility options. A light breakfast, lunch, and childcare will be provided. Space is limited, all are welcome! rSVP to Megan Jackson at 619-692-2077 x212 or The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 Twitter: @LGBTCenter

(Metro Area Real Estate Professionals for Young Adult Housing) for their

hillcrest Wind ensemble Blast to the Past Concert 7:30 pm, Lafayette hotel Join the Hillcrest Wind Ensemble for a “Blast to the Past,” celebrating pop music from the ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s. Enjoy a complimentary fruit and cheese table and a no-host bar, special guests Kevin Cavanaugh and Blue Velvet, a symphonic tribute to the Beatles, music ranging from Queen to The Carpenters and a special tribute to Prince. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased at The Windsmith, 3875 Granada Ave,, or at the door. For more information, visit



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EQCA AWARDS Themes are generally not something the organization plans on; but this year’s theme simply kept revealing itself as the selection process played out with each of the chosen honorees. “The State Farm Good Neighbor Award is given to community members who are doing the local, non-highlighted, quiet sort of grassroots work that doesn’t get all the attention in the media,” Cassady said. This year’s Good Neighbor Award is going to Ofelia Barba and her two daughters, Letty and Zoey, who is a trans teen. The women shared Zoey’s story last year at the Palm Springs gala, and the organization was so impressed, they gave them an award this year. The Equality Vanguard Award will be presented to BM1(SW) Matthew Alvarado, a sailor currently stationed in Point Loma, and his husband, Brian L. Alvarado. “Equality California played a crucial role in the work that resulted in my ability to finally serve my country openly after 14 years under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” Matthew said. “To be honored by their organization, in uniform — with not only authorization from the U.S. Navy but their full support and encouragement — is an evolution I had only hoped for, for so many years.” The Alvarados, who live in North Park, were also honored last year when Brian was named Spouse of the Year for Naval Base Coronado, and then again in March when he again represented Naval Base Coronado as Spouse of the Year at the Armed Forces Insurance and Military Spouse Magazine event in Washington, D.C. “When you are in the military, you adopt a sense of duty, which

includes a personality trait to be humble about the work you do. As a military spouse, some of that rubs off on us,” Brian said. “When we step up and volunteer, provide support to fellow military families, or even end up being an accidental advocate, we don’t do it with the end goal of being awarded recognition. … The very idea that our story had reached this wonderful organization and resonated with them is an incredible honor.” Referencing the evening’s theme, Brian said he and Matthew are thrilled that their own families will be in attendance. “Matthew and I would not be where we are today without our families, our family of friends, our LGBT family, and our military family,” he said. “We can’t wait to share this honor with all of them.” Robert Gleason, his husband Marc Matys, and their two sons — who both came to the couple through surrogacy and are now in the third and fourth grades at Frances Parker Elementary — are receiving the Equality Leadership Award. Gleason, a longstanding local businessman, LGBT activist and philanthropist, said while also honored, they plan to accept the award on behalf of other families like theirs.

EQCA will honor these families June 17: (top) Brian and Matthew Alvarado (Photo by Rob Lucas Modern Aperture Photography); (middle) Zoey, Letty and Ofelia Barba (Courtesy EQCA); (bottom) Marc Matys and Robert Gleason with their sons (Photo by Paul Barnett)

“That’s how we were able to get comfortable with being singled out for doing something that seems so natural to us and something so many others do every day — being open and honest about our marriage and family, raising our kids, encouraging them to be their authentic selves, and giving back to the community that has been so good to us,” he said. “It is a privilege to be able to do any of those things and beyond our wildest dreams to be able to do them all. “It’s true that it can be a challenge letting our children lead us to who they are supposed to be, all while encouraging them to be the best ‘them’ they can be; but when we see them proud of themselves for who they are and what they’ve accomplished, it makes parenting them a reward in itself,” Gleason continued. “We are grateful for

GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016 the recognition, but we’re simply trying to set a good example for our children by always seeking to do our best, living honestly and truthfully, being respectful of others, and giving back to the community by supporting organizations that enhance the quality of life for everyone and advance equality for all.” The group of honorees also match EQCA’s mission to support diversity. “One of the influencing factors [when choosing honorees] is a strong desire to present diversity on the stage,” Cassady said. “We want to make sure we are showing the diverse LGBT community that we are and all those communities that we are a part of.” This year’s co-chairs are State Assembly Speaker Emeritus Toni G. Atkins, County Supervi-


sor Dave Roberts, Laura Zagar and Jason Anderson, and the local host committee is nearly 25-strong. An hour-long cocktail reception will open the event on The Prado’s patio starting at 6 p.m., after which attendees will be moved inside for dinner and the full program. Zagar and Anderson will share hosting duties, and EQCA Executive Director Rick Zbur will give the keynote speech and summarize some of the legislation EQCA is currently working on. There are still a limited number of tickets left for the June 17 event. To purchase tickets for the gala or learn how you can volunteer for EQCA, visit —Reach Morgan M. Hurley at


GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016


‘Cyber Fresh Food Drive’: HRC San Diego is hosting this virtual food drive benefitting Monarch School San Diego and San Diego Youth Services. Through June 17 you can donate online and provide fresh produce and healthy everyday staples to families and individuals in need. Visit events/cyberfreshfooddrive San Diego Greek Festival: This festival starts today and continues through Sunday, June 12. It will feature Greek food, imported wine and beer, live music, dancing and more. $3 donation per day. 3655 Park Boulevard, Hillcrest. Visit ‘Rebecca’: Cinema Under the Stars presents this Alfred Hitchcock thriller starring Laurence Olivier. 8 p.m. $15. 4040 Goldfinch St., Mission Hills. For more info, visit or call 619295-4221.


OUT at the Fair: San Diego Pride and other participants will be creating an LGBTQ safe space at the San Diego County Fair today. Various activities will take place throughout the fairgrounds. 10 a.m. San Diego County Fair, 2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd., Del Mar. Visit


‘The Boy Who Danced On Air’: Final performance of this new musical about the tradition of Bacha Bazi in Afghanistan where poor boys are bought by wealthy men who train them as dancers and parade them as their property. The story follows two dancers — Paiman and Feda — who fall for each other and try to start a new life. 2 p.m. Diversionary Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd., University Heights. Visit


The Tipsy Palette: An evening of wine and painting that requires no experience. Includes supplies and instruction. Wine by the glass will be available. $35. Vom Fass, 1050 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


‘Showtunes Spaghetti Tuesday’: A weekly sing-along with showtunes from all eras and musical clips from TV, movie and stage productions from 5 – 10 p.m. All-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner and drink specials offered from 5 p.m. to closing. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


Taste of Little Italy: A favorite event for foodies, this selfguided tour will give guests access to tastes of food and beverages and tons of Little Italy Venues. This year there will be two different routes to choose from – a north and south. Tickets are $36 in advance and $43 at the door. 5 – 9 p.m. Visit


Pachanga de Frida: AnAn nual celebration of Frida Kahlo’s life complete with live music, art exhibits by local artists, a Frida look-alike contest, food, tequila and more. Proceeds benefit Latino Services at The Center. 6 p.m. San Diego LGBT Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Tickets start at $15. Visit San Diego Festival of the Arts: The La Jolla Festival of Arts is now the San Diego Festival of the Arts. The 30th anniversary of the event starts today with nearly 200 artists showcasing their original fine art alongside live entertainment, food vendors, wine and beer areas and views of the bay. 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Continues Sunday, June 12. Waterfront Park, 1600 Pacific Highway, Downtown. Visit

San Diego Pride volunteer info session: An information session to learn about various volunteer opportunities with Pride. 6 p.m. San Diego Pride, 3620 30th St., North Park. Visitfacebook. com/SanDiegoLGBTPride. ‘Paints Uncorked’: A night of food, drinks and painting to raise money for the Gossip Grill softball team. Art supplies and instruction included. Tonight’s featured painting is “Coronado Bridge.” $45. 7 – 9 p.m. Gossip Grill, 1220 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


Equality California’s 2016 San Diego Equality Awards: This gala event attended by LGBT and local leaders will honor individuals and organizations who work to create a more fair and just society. 6 – 10 p.m. The Prado, 1549 El Prado, Balboa Park. Visit


‘Viva’: This LGBT dramatic film tells the story of a young hairdresser who clashes with his estranged father when his dream of performing in drag comes true. Unrated. 100 minutes. Playing at Digital Gym through Thursday, June 16. 2921 El Cajon Blvd., North Park. Visit


18th annual South Park Old House Fair: This historic home tour and fair will feature entertainment, exhibits, artists, food and kid’s crafts at 30th and Beech streets in South Park. The fair is free and the historic home tour is $25, which includes a trolley ride and docent tour of five homes in South Park and Burlingame. Visit Fifth annual YPC Academy graduation and Champagne brunch: An event to celebrate the accomplishments and future endeavors of the Young Professionals Council Academy. 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit Growing your family seminar: Learn about the options you have as an LGBTQ individual, parent, or parent-to-be. Speakers from Angels Foster Family Network, San Diego Fertility Center, Walden Family Services, and Modern Family Wellness can assist you in navigating the process of preconception, pregnancy, foster care, adoption, and fertility choices. This is a free seminar. 9:30 a.m. – 2:30 p.m., the San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Space is limited. To RSVP contact Megan Jackson at or call 619-692-1077, x212. Girl’s Night Out monthly dance: Sally Hall’s monthly women’s dance at Brass Rail with DJ SuSu spinning the tunes. 7 p.m. Brass Rail, 3796 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


‘Sordid Lives’: This cult classic by Del Shores follows a colorful family as they prepare for the funeral of the family matriarch following her accidental death during a clandestine meeting in a seedy motel. Runs through Sunday, June 26. 2 p.m. Coronado Playhouse, 1835 Strand Way, Coronado. Visit


Book launch: This event marks the launch of the book “A Feminist in the White House: Midge Costanza, the Carter Years, and America’s Culture Wars” by Doreen Mattingly. An outspoken feminist and activist, Midge Costanza was an unlikely White House insider. Yet in 1977, she became the first female Assistant to the President for Public Liaison under Jimmy Carter. This event will feature discussion with the author about writing this book and more. Social time at 6:30 p.m., meeting at 7 p.m. Partnership for the Advancement of New Americans, 4089 Fairmont Ave., City Heights. Visit bit. ly/1XBFo12.


‘Showtunes Spaghetti Tuesday’: A weekly sing-along with showtunes from all eras and musical clips from TV, movie and stage productions from 5 – 10 p.m. All-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner and drink specials offered from 5 p.m. to closing. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


1 ”Look ___, I’m Sandra Dee” 5 Stick it to 10 “South Park” composer Shaiman 14 Poke with your stick 15 Belle of Tara 16 Garfield’s whipping boy 17 Ruination 18 Erotic artist Tom, et al. 19 Intensely bright star 20 Baseball team at Petco Park 23 Org. for pucking around? 24 Blockhead 25 Machine handle for cutting leaves of grass 26 Parting words 28 Actress Merrill 31 Sonny, to Chaz 32 Sally Ride’s org. 33 Brian on skates 36 They recently sang for “Pride Night” at Petco Park 40 Some real dickless wonders 41 Chew on

43 Noise of the lambs 46 Untouchable leader 47 Bi suffix 48 Where husband and husband get on their knees 50 Drag queen’s neckwear 52 Old Ford 53 A woman’s voice was played over this as 36-Across sang it 58 Sphincter opening 59 Not straight up 60 Sale words 62 Easy partner 63 Single situation, to Billy Bean 64 Shakespeare’s Hamlet, e.g. 65 Inquires 66 Like balls 67 Acronym for bears

‘An Enchanted Evening with the Dreamgirls Revue’: A weekly revue with a rotating cast of performers and featuring drink specials. This edition also serves as the release party for “Enchanted,” a 2017 photo calendar featuring images inspired by “princes, princesses and everything in between.” 7 – 11 p.m. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit FilmOut Screening: “What’s the Matter with Gerald?” — The West Coast premiere of this film about a trust-fund baby who wakes up each day with mysterious pains and turns to an eccentric jeweler for unexpected relief. $10. 7 p.m., Landmark Hillcrest Cinemas, 3965 Fifth Ave. #200, Hillcrest. Visit


MARYAH’s Summer Solstice: This event will feature live music and a DJ performance along with tasting catered by the Hotel del Coronado. All proceeds benefit the Youth Housing Center. $40. 6 – 9 p.m. Hotel del Coronado, 1500 Orange Ave. Visit ‘Rebel Without A Cause’: Cinema Under the Stars presents this classic drama starring James Dean, Natalie Wood and Sal Mineo. 8 p.m. Additional screening on Friday, June 24. $15. 4040 Goldfinch St., Mission Hills. For more info, visit topspresents. com or call 619-295-4221. —Compiled by Jen Van Tieghem. Email calendar items to or jen@




solution on page 16 DOWN 1 Alert, briefly 2 Spur-of-the-moment condom source? 3 Da Vinci signature piece 4 James Dean’s “East of ___” 5 Bulgarian capital 6 One of the Village People 7 Initiated phone sex 8 Laszlo of skincare products 9 Flier with a stinging butt 10 Paper in gay Paree, with “le” 11 Had the hots for 12 Kahlo’s husband 13 Cut out 21 Octave ends for Bernstein 22 Fictional Italian town 23 No to Rimbaud 27 Diggs of “Private Practice” 28 Frisbees, e.g. 29 Seven-year problem in a Monroe film 30 Discouraging words 33 Pasolini’s well 34 Heavy burden 35 Sex party

37 Saki’s real name 38 Top hat wearer 39 Workplace where you bust your balls 42 Got hitched 43 Condom wearer, in sex ed class 44 Gay marriage advocate Morissette 45 Tear into 47 Tin roof pussy of Tennessee 49 Media exec Roger 50 Painter Francis 51 Erect 54 Former queen of Jordan 55 In the year, to Nero 56 Place for Proust 57 “Mary ___ little lamb” 61 Sarah Jessica Parker’s city activity


Deep inside Hollywood Romeo San Vicente

Film to turn back time

LGBT film has moved past the moment when virtually all the stories produced were about AIDS, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t many more stories to tell about the trauma and devastation of the first wave of the disease. “After Louie,” a film by first-time feature director Vincent Gagliostro, co-written by Antony Johnston, will look at the perspectives of two generations of men on either side of the timeline. Alan Cumming has been cast as an older artist and activist, a man who survived the ’80s and ’90s, and who now finds himself in a relationship with a younger man (Zachary Booth) for whom the era is something only heard about secondhand. The film is in the middle of a Kickstarter funding campaign, but the technical team and cast are ready to go: attached in supporting roles are Wilson Cruz, David Drake, Justin Vivian Bond and Joey Arias. We wish them all the Kickstarter luck in the world, but could some powergay producer just step in and handle this, please? You know who you are.

(Photo by Starfrenzy)

DeGeneres launches a network

While you weren’t paying attention, Ellen DeGeneres was gently promoting digital content on daytime TV, making YouTube, Vine and Snapchat understandable and accessible to an entire population usually ignored by those platforms. Who cares if some of it is remedial (like explaining Ryan Gosling “Hey Girl” memes years after their inception)? The point is that she’s basically explaining the internet to people who didn’t know they wanted to care. And this is why her next step as an all-powerful mogul is so potentially lucrative. She’s launching the “Ellen Digital Network,” a programming slate that includes the “Damn, Daniel” kids, an animated series about her own pets called “Ellen’s Pet Dish,” new episodes of “Dance Challenge,” a user-generated content show called #MadeByYou, the “Ellen Show” game called “Epic or Fail,” and a content development deal with social media star Tyler Oakley. Bottom line: Ellen is taking your mom into the future with her and you’ll know your own life has jumped the shark when she makes a show out of unicycling frog meme, “Here Come Dat Boi.”

‘Noah’s Arc’ reunited

Do you miss “Noah’s Arc”? You probably do. Because, frankly, it’s not like anyone in the world of basic cable was lining up to make television programs about the lives of gay black men before it arrived. And furthermore, how many have there been

since? Exactly. So when former “Arc”-er Doug Spearman directed his first feature, the LGBT film festival favorite “Hot Guys with Guns,” it gave us hope for more to come. Well, now something new is coming. Spearman’s latest directorial effort, “From Zero to I Love You,” will tell the story of a gay man (played by “Noah’s Arc” alum Darryl Stephens) who rejects his friends’ and family’s effort to set him up with Mr. Right, all because he can’t resist the thrill of chasing heterosexual men — the kind with wives. Yes, yes, yes, the gay shame of it all, but still a fascinating idea for a story in a world where gay culture is beating the drum for everybody settling down and getting adorably married. Why not a romance about wanting, and possibly getting, the one you can’t have? More on this one as it slowly winds its way to release.

From 'Mad Men' to 'Soldier Girl'

Still not sure who Teyonah Parris is? Then you’re not watching the right stuff. Already called the “Next Big Thing” by industry trade The Hollywood Reporter, Parris made a big impression as Dawn, the first black secretary hired on “Mad Men,” before moving on to Justin Simien’s feature “Dear White People” and starring in Spike Lee’s “Chi-Raq.” And now she’s in talks to star in “Buffalo Soldier Girl,” to be directed by Christine Swanson (the upcoming TV movie “The Miki Howard Story”) from an original script by 2015 Texas Writer of the Year, author Sarah Bird. Set up by the production company Pantheon of Women, the script is based on the true story of a woman named Cathy Williams, who, disguised as a man, enlisted and fought with the African American postCivil-War-era Buffalo Soldiers. The film is expected to shoot in Texas this fall for a 2017 release. Be on the lookout for this one.

Lange and Sarandon feuding?

By now, if you even come close to other human beings who have access to the internet, you’ve already heard about this one: Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange will play Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, respectively, in Ryan Murphy’s new eight-part limited series, “Feud.” Murphy’s TV domination is an uncontested fact these days, recently bolstered by the sweeping critical approval and great ratings of “American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson”. And this latest effort is going to be catnip to baby boomer and seniorage gay men who grew up obsessed with the very real ongoing battle between Crawford and Davis, two stars who loved to hate each other so much that their stunning early 1960s collaboration, “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” felt more like real life than fiction. Our notso-secret wish, though, is for some women on the writing staff to have a Marcia Clark-level of empathy for these two vintage Hollywood warriors. The last thing anyone needs is a typical gay male wallowing in comic misogyny. Look, someone has to say this stuff out loud, you know? —Romeo San Vicente never feuds, he merely triumphs quietly in all ways. He can be reached at

GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016



GAY SAN DIEGO June 10 - 23, 2016

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