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Volume 6 Issue 10 May 15 – 28, 2015

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Pedaling for a local cause


Board members hope community will rally for Stepping Stone By Gina McGalliard Powerful butches


(above) The San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus performs “Tyler Suite” (Photo by Tom Felkner); (right) Tyler Clementi (Courtesy Clementi family)

A tribute to Tyler SDGMC ‘making a difference’ with their music

Real life on film


Morgan M. Hurley | Editor Suite: an ordered set of music; an instrumental or choral composition consisting of a series of varying movements or pieces.

San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus (SDGMC) is in the middle of premiering “Tyler’s Suite,” an eightpiece choral movement that tells the story of Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers University freshman who jumped to his death in 2010 from the George Washington Bridge after being cyber-bullied by his college roommate for being gay. SDGMC’s Chamber Chorale premiered Tyler’s Suite on May 7 at

the Jacobs Center, a performance geared to students and teachers from lower income neighborhoods. On May 9, they performed it again, this time for the general public at the North Chapel in Liberty Station. Jane Clementi, Tyler’s mother, and James Clementi, Tyler’s oldest brother who is also gay, attended both performances. One final performance remains, May 17 at St. James by-the-Sea Episcopal Church in La Jolla. The 40-member Chamber Chorale —

see Tyler, pg 12

Stepping Stone of San Diego, Inc., a drug rehabilitation facility founded in 1976 and geared toward San Diego’s LGBT community, is desperately trying to raise substantial funds within the next 30 to 45 days so they won’t be forced to shut their doors. This issue isn’t new, but it is becoming urgent. In 2005, much government funding, including money allocated for Stepping Stone’s HIV/ AIDS program, was cut. Currently, about 75 percent of the organization’s operating costs are covered by the U.S. government, which leaves Stepping Stone fundraising efforts to make up the difference. This results in a $25,000 monthly shortfall. Ultimately, the closure of Stepping Stone — which deals with all

see Stepping, pg 4

Dining in secret locations Smokin' in Normal Heights


Lily and Jane reunion

Index Opinion. . . . … . … . . . . . . . 6 Briefs.......…......…7 T h e a t e r. … … … … … 1 3 Calendar....…….....…18 Spor ts....…….....…19

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San Diego Community News Network

New pop-up venture piques interest of local foodies By Frank Sabatini Jr. If you equate food to adventure and relish communal dining in the company of curious Epicures, then Dinner Lab is for you. Like a traveling circus, the New Orleans-based company has begun rolling into San Diego with its talented performers and heavy equipment. Although instead of acrobats and jump towers, it totes in an army of skilled cooks and guest chefs along with truckfuls of kitchen gear used for presenting culinary spectacles held each month at surprise venues around town. The multi-course meals aren’t disclosed to members and their guests until a day prior, via email. Their dates and menus, however, are posted in advance on Dinner Lab’s website, where participants can join the word-of-mouth club for $175 a year.

The enrollment fee entitles buyers to partake in the dinners (with up to three guests) both locally and in about 30 other cities where Dinner Lab operates. The meals average $75 for members and $85 for non-members, and they always include a hosted bar. “No two dinners are ever alike,” said Event Manager Samantha Saad, adding that San Diego membership has grown to nearly 200 since Dinner Lab debuted late last year at Moniker Warehouse in the East Village. For Hillcrest resident Brian Jensen, the April dinner at the World Beat Center in Balboa Park left a favorable impression. He had come along as the guest of a friend who recently became a member. “As someone from the LGBT community, I felt it was ver y inclusive and dynamic. I ver y much enjoyed the sense of camaraderie and sharing food notes with others at the table,” he said, referring to the rating cards used for scoring each course. The menu that evening featured “elevated nourishments”

A team of chefs meticulously plate the meal courses at Dinner Lab in San Diego. (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

by Malibu-based Chef Jason Fullilove. Dishes included crispy emerald rice with burdock root and seaweed; smoked mackerel on kimchi pancakes; bone marrow with beef broth; and roasted

chicken with liver mousse, egg and pea tendrils. A few of the courses were paired with organic wines from France.

see Secret pg 9



GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


website ButchOnTap, is a fun read — made even more fun by her deadpan writing style and her unapologetic love of things like cars, femmes, and craft beer. (Yes, she’s way more of a ‘dude’ than I am, which cracks me up and makes me love her blog even more.) Plus, she has a mohawk, a JD, and a great fashion sense, which in my opinion, is a combination that’s awfully hard to beat.” Is such a list rather cliché in today’s world? Butch Wonders thinks not. “The fact that we can even have an argument about who the most power-

Local woman makes ‘most powerful butch’ list online Morgan M. Hurley | Editor

Last month the popular online blogger Butch Wonders decided to conduct a poll inspired by OUT Magazine’s annual “most powerful” series. “I thought it would be interesting to have a similar list for butches,” she said. Her poll? “Most Powerful Butch,” of course. San Diego native Tristan Higgins, a blogger herself who often contributes to Gay San Diego, ranked 19th (out of 25) in the online poll, alongside icons such as Ellen DeGeneres, Billie Jean King, Melissa Etheridge, Rachel Maddow and many others. Higgins, a married mother of two, serves as a director in the legal department at Sony Entertainment in Rancho Bernardo. Her own blog,, focuses on what it is like to be an out butch lesbian in the world, butch fashion, and her endless pursuit of the best craft beer. Butch Wonders, who has an anonymous online persona and doesn’t divulge her real name, has exceeded 16,000 followers on her Facebook page, but it is her blog, which she launched in May of 2011, that she is known for. had over 500,000 unique visitors in just the last year. The day she launched her “most powerful butch” poll, she saw over 5,000 visitors to her website in one day. “I chose the word ‘powerful’ mostly because that’s the term OUT Magazine uses,” she said. “But I also like it because it’s so vague — I wanted readers to be able to define the term any way they wanted. “For me, personally, powerful means influential — that is, the ability to change hearts and minds whether through art, writing, tech, litigation, religion, or any other

Happier, healthier mothers & babies.

Tristan Higgins in one of her custom T-shirts. (Courtesy

means — but I invited readers to define it for themselves. Wonders first canvassed for nominations on both Twitter and Facebook, and then assembled a list of 87 names for the final poll. More than 500 of her followers participated in the poll. “I included everyone who got even one nomination,” she said, adding that she was surprised to see Joan Jett and Suze Orman make the list. “[The term] ‘butch’ can be a very broad term, which is part of why I think it’s such a useful and important one,” she said. “But this also means that lots of people define it in different ways. Since there was no way to find out who on the list identified as butch, ‘being butch’ on this list really means ‘being thought of as butch’ by other people.” Butch Wonders wrote a summary about each “winner” when she released the 25 most powerful butches and had this to say about Higgins. “Higgins is a friend of mine and I love that we’ve ‘come up’ as butch bloggers together in the past few years. Higgins’

Higgins blogs about butch fashion and craft beer. (Courtesy Tristan Higgins)

ful butches are is truly awesome to me,” she said. “Yes, there are systemic biases against us, and yes, it is hard to be a gender nonconforming woman in many — maybe most — industries. But the fact that there are so many butches out there doing important, influential work in the world and showing up ever y day as themselves makes me really, really happy.” Higgins — one of the founders of Sony’s LGBT employees group, “Equality Alliance” — recently spoke at an HRC San Diego Connect event held at Wang’s North Park, where she addressed the challenges of being an out butch in corporate America. Higgins noted that evening that while her mohawk may hinder plans for upward mobility in the future, she’s never felt discriminated against and is reviewed solely on her ability to do her job. “When I wrote about the poll on my blog, I joked that it wouldn’t make me any more butch or make my kids think I’m cooler to be included, but that was before I made it!” Higgins said. “It’s a ridiculously cool thing to be part of this list. I mean, did you see the other women on there? I’m really excited!” Higgins also held an anonymous online persona when first launching her blog and Facebook page in 2011, but decided to come forward — unveiling both her face and name — when Huffington Post offered to also publish her blog and required the use of her real name to do so. “I really appreciate being included [in the most powerful butch voting],” she said. “The great messages I’ve gotten from fans about how my visibility helps them and the like have meant so much to me.” In addition to some of the surprise nominees Butch Wonders received during the polling, she was equally surprised at who didn’t make the list. “If I had been putting money on it, I would have guessed that Jenny Shimizu, Skyler Cooper, S. Bear Bergman, Judith Butler, and CampbellX, would have been in the top 25,” she said. With the “most powerful butch” poll now available online for posterity, Butch Wonders may do more polls in the future. If you have any butch-themed ideas, be sure and drop her a line. To find the complete “most powerful butch” poll results, visit Check out our local favorite butch’s blog — where she reminds readers to #BeButch at the end of ever y writing — at —Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at

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A doula is a non-medical birth assistant who supports a birthing mother and her family.

YOU can be a Doula

if you have the time, commitment and stamina needed to stay continuously at a laboring woman’s side during childbirth. You need a calming presence, but no prior healthcare training or birth experience is required.

Volunteer Doulas Needed UC San Diego Medical Center in Hillcrest offers training for new volunteer doulas.

(619) 543-6269 or |


Celebrating the giants of our community San Diego honors diversity in the name of Harvey Milk Morgan M. Hurley | Editor San Diego’s seventh annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast is set to take place Thursday, May 21, when it will present two esteemed leaders of the greater LGBT community — the Rev. Troy Perry and Phill Wilson — with its top honor, the Harvey Milk Lifetime Achievement Award. Launched in 2009 to commemorate Milk’s May 22 birthday, the annual event has become one of the biggest draws in San Diego and is the largest of its kind in the nation. Since its inception, it has annually been attended by more that 1,000 influential local and national leaders in the LGBT, business, political and labor sectors, and has hosted a number of celebrities as well. Jason Mraz, Dustin Lance Black, Stuart Milk and many others are among those who have performed, spoken or received accolades at the event. Rev. Perry launched the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in 1968 after he struggled with his own demons and wanted to create a safe place for gay people to worship. Today, MCC — the “gay Christian Church” — has more than 43,000

members and is known as one of the largest LGBT organizations. Perry, who also helped found Christopher Street West (L.A. Pride), wrote his autobiography, “The Lord is My Shepherd and He Knows I’m Gay,” in 1972 and its sequel, “Don’t Be Afraid Anymore,” in 1992. In 1979 Perry joined forces with activist Robin Tyler to organize the first March on Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights. Tyler and her wife Diane were the first plaintiffs to file in the case that originally brought marriage equality to California. [Editor’s Note: See Tyler’s op-ed in this issue regarding the Supreme Court’s recent hearing on marriage equality on page 6]. “I think Troy has been the most influential leader in our movement because of starting MCC and remaining an activist,” Tyler said. “They just came out with the statistic that 48 percent of LGB people identify as Christians. It has been an honor to know him as a friend and work with him as an activist.” “I’m greatly honored by The Center naming me with Phill as one of the two people to receive the Harvey Milk Lifetime Achievement Award,” Perry said via phone. Perry said he first met Milk when he owned the infamous camera shop on Castro Street in San Francisco. “Someone had said to me, ‘You

GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015

gotta meet Harvey Milk, he’s run for board of supervisors here,’ so I went to the shop and I met him there. We didn’t spend a lot of time together that first time, but I kept watching him.” A few years later when Milk was finally elected, Perry flew up for his inauguration and later asked him to be on his state committee for the “No on 6,” also known as the Briggs initiative. “He politely told me no,” Perry said. “He said, ‘sometimes I do better by myself.’” The Briggs initiative would later be soundly defeated through statewide grassroots efforts. Perry said he was speaking at the University of Winnepeg when

“I believe that Harvey, had he lived, would have never disappeared.” The other Lifetime Achievement Award will be presented to Phill Wilson, the president and CEO of the Black AIDS Institute. Wilson has a decades-long history of working with HIV and AIDS organizations, often with a focus on the black community. He has served as AIDS Coordinator for the City of Los Angeles, served on the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS and co-chaired the Los Angeles County HIV Health Commission, among other posts. Wilson said Milk was a “guiding light” for him when he worked against Proposition 64 (the mandatory reporting of AIDS act in

(left) The Rev. Troy Perry, now retired, launched MCC in 1968. (Courtesy Rev. Perry) (right) Phill Wilson has spent decades as an HIV/AIDS activist. (Courtesy The LGBT Center) Milk was shot and he first thought the news was a joke, but once it was confirmed he took the next flight home to Los Angeles, grabbed a change of clothes and headed to San Francisco. “I look back and the lesson I always got from Harvey was that Harvey never gave up,” he said. “I’ve always said in my activism in our community that I never wanted to be a shooting star — I’ve seen it so often — those who were part of our community but whenever things went wrong they just disappeared.

1986) and “provided the blueprint” for its defeat. “But what I’m humbled by is sharing a dais with Troy Perry, who is certainly one of the giants in the history of the LGBT movement and also with Nicole Murray Ramirez,” Wilson said. “Nicole is — on a national stage — one of those unsung heroes,” he continued. “He really is the genesis of where we are in expanding who we are as a community and embracing the all of who we are. When Nicole started to do his work it was

the ‘gay’ movement, and there was violent resistance to include bi or trans or even lesbians.” Wilson said Ramirez was a “pioneer” who “stood his ground” and has helped make the community what it is today. “So for me it is an honor to be in the company of all three of those giants as a part of this breakfast celebration,” he said. Having lived with HIV his “entire adult life,” Wilson said he became infected 35 years ago and was diagnosed 30 years ago. After learning what The Center’s #BeTheGeneration initiative was about, he said his survival was not based on what most would think. “If I were to identify the single most important factor in my survival, it really has been coming out — and not in the narrow way we define coming out in our community — but for me, living in my truth as a openly gay, HIV-positive black man.” He offers advice to the younger generation that coincides with the message of #BeTheGeneration. “When it comes to living with HIV, find a way and a space where you are not struggling with that disclosure every day, but also live your life in a way where you are building a world that is both knowing and affirming of who you are, inclusive of your sexual identity, gender identity, HIV status, race, and whatever generation you are a part of,” he said. The seventh annual Harvey Milk Breakfast will be held Thursday, May 21 at 7:30 a.m. at the Hilton Bayfront Hotel, 1 Park Place, Downtown. Proceeds will benefit the San Diego LGBT Community Center’s social programs. For tickets or more information, visit



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GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015



STEPPING drugs of choice and implements evidence-based practices — could be a matter of life and death for a large number of San Diegans struggling with drug addiction. “You know what we don’t have a shortage of at Stepping Stone?” asked Mike Seymour, Stepping Stone treasurer. “We don’t have a shortage of a waiting list of people whose family has completely abandoned them and are just begging and praying that we can get them in, literally on their knees praying. I’ve had people hug us when they finally got in, [saying] ‘I’ve been waiting for six months trying to not die so I can get in.’ “So we have no shortage of a need within the community, both the heterosexual and the homosexual community,” he said. “We have them out the door lined up waiting.” The problem of addiction tends to be a larger issue in the LGBT community than in the general population and many LGBT people lack family support, making recovery more difficult. “I think the stigma associated with being a gay child [or] teenager, the pressures are so tough that they turn to drugs to basically just to escape that,” said Seymour, the father of two addicts, one of whom is gay. Stepping Stone’s six-month residential program provides intense individual and group therapy before clients head to a sober living facility, making it more effective than the typical 30-day rehab structure. About 40 percent of Stepping Stone clients are straight, half of the spaces are given to HIV/AIDS patients, and clients vary widely in age. When possible, family involvement is also part the program, and many graduates continue to work with the recovery community after achieving sobriety. Unfortunately the family component of Stepping Stone’s program also helps the relatives of addicts, who are greatly affected by their loved one’s addiction. “I think the hardest thing for me was you as a parent have

(l to r) Stafford and Seymour are taking on the AIDS/LifeCycle ride to raise money for Stepping Stone. (Courtesy Peter Stafford) to give up all your hopes and dreams for what you thought your child would be or what you wanted for them,” Seymour said, who added that one of his sons is in federal prison. A major impediment to funding is the misperception that drug addiction is a choice and can be overcome by sheer willpower alone. “As addicts and alcoholics, we don’t ever wake up in the morning and say ‘You know what I want to do today? I think I want to screw my boys’ entire life, shake everything up, flip over the bed. I’m going to go get arrested today, I’m going to end up in the hospital. I think that’s the plan for the day,’” said Vanessa Buyson, a successful Stepping Stone graduate and the mother of two sons. In one year’s time, Buyson was arrested 14 times and landed in the hospital seven times due to alcoholism. “That’s never the intention and that’s never how it’s planned,” she

continued. “But we have that other side of us: that chemical imbalance, that disease, whatever you want to call it, that takes over.” And even in 2015, anti-LGBT prejudice is still an obstacle to fundraising. “It’s not a sexy charity,” Seymour said. “It’s very difficult to get people to understand, [but] we have like the highest success rate in the country. We really do.” Despite the importance of what Stepping Stone does every day, the focus of the community at large is often elsewhere. “You have a lot of gay couples who are adopting children,” said Stepping Stone board member Peter Stafford. “Their interest is in Bobby Sox, Little League, soccer and the school play ... their world isn’t thinking about people who have addiction.” To help raise funds, Stafford and Seymour are participating in the AIDS/LifeCycle ride, a seven-day, 540-mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles to raise awareness and funds for HIV/AIDS programs. While money raised by bicyclists during AIDS/LifeCycle generally goes to programs in San Francisco and Los Angeles, a separate campaign has been approved to raise money for Stepping Stone. Those who wish to do so may donate to the riders with the funds coming directly back to the San Diego organization. In addition, the organization would like to partner with a restaurant or food bank to provide healthy food for their clients, who only cost $8 per person to feed. “I would like to see the community at large, but specifically the LGBT community, rally behind us because we do so much good for them,” Seymour said. “I would like to see the community as a whole, the LGBT community [and] the heterosexual community, adopt us.” For more information on how you can help Stepping Stone, visit or —Gina McGalliard is a local freelance writer. You can contact her at or follow her blog, mcgalliardmatters. t


GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


Do I have enough? Sunday Fundays and more Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel As a psychotherapist, over the years, I’ve heard many people say that they don’t have enough of the good things in life. This column looks at a few of the things that I think really matter. Fun: Enjoyment, amusement and pleasure … that’s a good definition of fun. To quote San Diegan Dr. Seuss: “Today is gone. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.” To which you may reply: “As if.” Fun doesn’t have to be expensive or dramatic. You don’t need a trip to Europe; you could instead enjoy an afternoon in Balboa Park, a hike at Mission Trails or a great comedy movie. Your definition of fun is your own; all that matters is you include it in your life on a regular basis. Friends: If you have two or three good friends you can call at midnight when a truck hits your car and you’re in the ER (this happened to me), then you probably have enough friends. Many people we call friends are really acquaintances; you know a bit about them, but they really aren’t people you can count on. A real friend may not like your situation, but they’re gonna get out of bed and drive to the ER to sit with you for six hours until the doctor will see you. Sex: Sex is something that our bodies want, need and deserve. It’s exciting, bonding, relaxing (at its best) and a great part of being human. At its core, sex is a pleasure; so don’t do it as an obligation. Do you have enough pleasure? If not, you may enjoy more sex, alone or with others. Not sure you’re having enough? If you find you’re more than usually annoyed with your partner (or people in general), you probably aren’t. Alone time: Without alone time, it’s easy to lose your center and start to “spin out” when things don’t go your way. You don’t have to meditate or pray to be alone, just take time throughout your day to enjoy the sunshine, your cat or a cup of coffee. Fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg sums it up nicely: New York Times: Do you think that the constant tug of our computers and smartphones makes it harder for people to create

space to build that relationship with themselves? Diane von Furstenberg: No. I think the relationship you have with yourself is everywhere, every moment of the day — to be able to be alone, to be able to think, to be able to count on yourself, to be able to console yourself, to be able to inspire yourself, to be able to give yourself advice. You are your best friend. Money: What is enough money? Enough to easily pay all your bills and have some left over for fun? Enough to save for emergencies and toward retirement? Money isn’t a goal, it’s a vehicle. It’s a path to get where you want to be. You may think you want a home of your own, but you really want to feel safe and happy, and you think a home will take you there. You may think you need a raise at work, but you may simply need to feel appreciated and valued. There are all kinds of advice books about money and having it doesn’t mean you feel great (although it does give you lots of options), so perhaps what you really want is to feel secure. Structure/spontaneity: Some of us are way too structured — we plan things to death. Without a plan, our anxiety jumps. On the other hand, some of us are so loose that we rarely get anything done. When I work with overly rigid clients, we focus on how to gradually experience NOT planning. It usually invokes anxiety (at first), but that shifts over time. If you never get much accomplished, I’d help you begin to create more structure in your life and to reward yourself when you accomplish your goal(s). This list is really just the beginning. I invite you to sit down and make an “enough/not enough” list. It’s good to know that some areas of your life are just fine and it’s helpful to notice where there is a lack, so you can begin to change that. Either way, may you enjoy the process. —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit

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Back Out with Benny Benny Cartwright Around Hillcrest, my favorite day of the week is Sunday (known by many as “Sunday Funday”). In the afternoon, a lot of people are out and about enjoying the many restaurants and bars in the area without the expectations of a Friday or Saturday night out. It’s just a fun, casual time to socialize, meet up with friends, and enjoy an afternoon out. My 35th birthday — which fell on a Sunday this year — has come and gone, but we certainly enjoyed the day, visiting many of my favorite Sunday Funday spots, including Cheers, Babycakes and #1 Fifth Avenue. That same day, my good friend J. Alonzo Munoz hosted a very successful fundraiser on #1 Fifth Avenue’s back patio for his upcoming AIDS/LifeCycle ride. He did a great job putting together a fun party while raising funds for the 575-mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles, which raises money for HIV/AIDS services in those two cities. A pretty large contingent from San Diego typically join the 2,000 or so other participants on this ride each year, including first-timers (and close friends) Mike Seymour and Pete Stafford. These two gentlemen are board members and officers of Stepping Stone San Diego, a nonprofit organization that

has provided long-term recovery treatment services for LGBT San Diegans for nearly 40 years. Stepping Stone is federally funded to provide housing and substance abuse counseling to its clients, but as funding continues to decrease and costs rise, the agency has found itself with a shortfall of nearly $25,000 per month. Mike and Pete have already covered their fundraising goal for AIDS/LifeCycle and now, all remaining funds raised will be donated back to Stepping Stone. This agency truly saves lives every single day, and many of those who are involved with Stepping Stone have witnessed that work first-hand. Read more about Mike and Pete, why they care so much about Stepping Stone, and consider making a donation here: The ride is May 31-June 6. Back at The Center, we’re just under a week away from the seventh annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast, taking place Thursday, May 21 from 7:30 – 9 a.m.

I look forward to this event every year as it is really an exciting celebration of how far our community has come, while we reflect on the challenges still ahead. More than 1,000 people from all over come together for what is the largest Harvey Milk celebration in the state! The event almost always sells out, so act fast if you want to be there. Tickets and more information are here: events. In June, we celebrate the birthday of Frida Kahlo with the annual Pachanga de Frida at The Center. This year’s event is scheduled for June 27 and is one of my all time favorite events of the year. Proceeds benefit The Center’s Nicole Murray-Ramirez Latin@ Services program, and includes live music, art exhibits, a Frida look-alike contest, food, and lots of tequila! More information is here: thecentersd. org/events/. And before we know it, San Diego Pride will be here. In fact,

see Benny, pg 15

Hillcrest Newsstand

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529 University Ave.- Hillcrest (619) 260-0492

events attheCenter Saturday, May 16

Friday, May 22

annual Senior resource Fair

Family Movie night

10 am - 1 pm, the Center Live Life to The Fullest! Join 50 and Better Together in the auditorium as organizations committed to serving the local senior community share information, activities and goodies. Learn about the many resources available in San Diego. Lunch is free for the first 100 seniors. For more information, contact Larue Fields at or 619.692.2077 x205.

Wednesday, May 20

Bi Coming Out Group 7-8:30 pm, the Center Join The Center’s discussion group on bisexuality on the third Wednesday of every month. It’s a welcoming space to share your experiences, ask questions, discuss community issues and meet like-minded people. This group is open to all persons who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to more than one gender. For more information, contact aaron heier at

[RSVP Required] 6 pm, the Center

Children vote on movie selection and enjoy an evening with friends and families in The Center auditorium. Food, snacks and drinks are provided at no charge for children. Please bring your favorite bean bag chair, lawn chair, sleeping bag, blankets & pillows as we transform the auditorium into a casual relaxed movie night setting. rSVP at 619.692.2077 x121 or

tuesday, May 26

transitional Beauty Workshop 7-9 pm, the Center The Transitional Beauty workshop is hosted by Lucrezia Mackintosh through the T-Spot organization and Project Trans. Throughout the course of the year attendees will learn the beauty basics in hair, makeup and fashion. The group will meet every 4th Tuesday of the month in Group Room 2 at the center. For more information, email The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 Twitter: @LGBTCenter



GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


Will a narrow win with SCOTUS really be a win? By Robin Tyler



Props for the camel Been going here for over 15 years [see “Steaks for cheap,” Vol. 6, Issue 9]. Great place, food, and people. —JJ via

Continuing his legacy, continuing the work By Dr. Delores A. Jacobs

Props for UCSD Congrats to the UCSD LGBT Resource Center [see “Briefs: May 1 – 14, 2015: UCSD’s LGBT Resource Center celebrates 15 years,” online at]!! They’ve provided an incredible safe space on the campus, and served as a model from us at SDSU before such a space existed there! Keep up the great work, Shaun and team! —Benny, via

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EDITOR Morgan M. Hurley (619) 961-1960 CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Ken Williams, x102 Jeremy Ogul, x119

As we draw closer to the seventh annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast, I’m grateful for the opportunity to take a moment to remember him and to draw continued inspiration from his life and work. We are fortunate in San Diego to be home to one of the largest Harvey Milk celebrations in the country. This year, attendees will be able to hear from two individuals who knew Harvey personally — Nicole Murray Ramirez, one of the cofounders of the event, and Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Community Church and one of this year’s Harvey Milk Lifetime Achievement Award recipients. Phill Wilson, founder and CEO of the Black AIDS Institute, will also be honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award. With events like the Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast, the feature film “Milk,” the successful U.S. stamp campaign and the work of the Milk Foundation, multiple generaPRODUCTION ARTISTS Todd Kammer, x115 Suzanne Dzialo SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR Mike Rosensteel (619) 961-1958

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Azzopardi Charlene Baldridge Benny Cartwright Michael Kimmel Gina McGallian Jeff Praught Frank Sabatini Jr.

ADVERTISING CONSULTANTS Sloan Gomez (619) 961-1954

WEB & SOCIAL MEDIA Jen Van Tieghem, x118

Robert Jones, x113 Andrew Bagley, x106 Ilka Weston, x105 Lisa Hamel, x107

ART DIRECTOR Vincent Meehan (619) 961-1961

Frank Lechner (619) 961-1971

Dr. Delores Jacobs (Courtesy The LGBT Center) tions have now been able to hear the stories of Harvey Milk and his legacy continues to grow. One of Harvey’s most famous speeches is the “You gotta give ’em hope” speech. Nearly four decades after his life was cut short, he is still giving us hope. That is the legacy we’ll be celebrating on May 21: his tenacity and passion; his effective and pioneering coalition building and networking; his insistence on running for public PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951 ACCOUNTING Priscilla Umel-Martinez (619) 961-1962

office as an out gay man in the 1970s and ensuring that regular, neighborhood folks had the opportunity to serve and be heard; and his commitment to social justice and equality. While we await a ruling from the United States Supreme Court that could result in marriage equality throughout the nation, we are also experiencing the horrific backlash in so-called “religious freedom” bills that are the desperate — but damaging — last gasps of those who believe we are less than they. I know Harvey would refuse to rest until we stop all of these hateful measures. Until LGBT youth have safe places to live and learn and thrive. Until our trans and gender queer brothers and sisters can live and work and thrive in safety. Until we close the gap on the health disparities faced by our community and we bring an end to HIV. Until we truly understand and utilize the power of our vote. Celebrating Harvey Milk’s legacy alone is not enough. We must honor that legacy by being out, speaking out and re-committing to the work that remains to be done. —Dr. Delores A. Jacobs is the chief executive officer of The San Diego LGBT Community Center. For more info, visit

see SCOTUS, pg 7

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I was three seats over from the Jesus freak who stood up in the U.S. Supreme Court and screamed “if you support gay marriage, you will burn in hell!” My wife Diane pulled my chair back as the marshals came running down my aisle, with, I believe, guns drawn. The other people in my aisle were the opposition and this nut was looking right at me, screaming. After he was dragged out of the courtroom, Justice Scalia made a comment that, “the interlude was kind of refreshing.” Well, it wouldn’t have been “refreshing” had the man been armed with a gun (yes, plastic guns that shoot bullets can get through security) and shot at the Justices or the plaintiffs or us. But it certainly woke us up from the boring, uninteresting typical prejudicial questions that the right wing justices were asking. Justice Kennedy surprised me. He had written all three of the LGBT victories so I did not expect him to challenge Mar y Bonauto, the famous lesbian attorney who had won the first marriage case in Massachusetts and who the attorneys, (the majority of whom were with organizations) voted to go to the Supreme Court, instead of Carole Stanyer, the lesbian attorney who had worked on the Michigan case pro bono for three years and had actually presented the case in court. Kennedy claimed that the definition of traditional marriage had been with us for “millennia.” Really? That was an easy misconception that should have been easily challenged. In the ver y book that Scalia, Roberts, Thomas and Alito love, the Old Testament, King Solomon had 1,000 wives. Polygamy was normal among Biblical patriarchs. As recently as 150 years ago, all over the western world, a wife was nothing more than property and had no legal rights (which, thankfully, Justice Ginsberg brought up). But western society evolved to understand that it was wrong to “own” a wife. Now it must evolve to understand why it is wrong to deny

Business Improvement Association

Gay San Diego 123 Camino de la Reina, Suite 202 East San Diego, CA 92108 (619) 519-7775 Twitter @GaySD jority to believe it was OK. Today, 60 percent of the public favor marriage equality for same-sex couples. Yet, SCOTUS wants us to wait even though the majority now agree with it! And of course, when Scalia brought up that he is afraid ministers might have to marr y us, again, Ruth Ginsberg overcame his bogus question by saying that Rabbis are not forced to marr y couples in which one person is not Jewish. Do I think we will win? Yes. But Roberts suggested that it was gender bias for a reason. (Example: if Joan can marr y Jack but Robert cannot, it is gender bias.) If we win on that, it will be a ver y narrow win. As a civil rights movement, we want to be recognized as a suspect class, with equal rights under the law. A narrow ruling (l to r) Diane Olson and wife Robin Tyler on gender bias will mean that waiting to enter the Supreme Court gal- we will still have to fight for lery April 28 in Washington D.C. (Courtesy ever y other right, rather than Robin Tyler) the marriage equality case setting a precedent that would marriage to any two adults who protect us. love each other and are not Is this good enough? Absorelated by blood. But this argulutely not. ment wasn’t given. It’s great for couples who Justice Roberts worried that want the protections and by ruling for marriage equalrecognition of marriage, but ity SCOTUS would be shutjustice does not mean “Just ting down the debate. In other Us.” We need to demand a words, people need to get used Federal LGBT civil rights bill to it. Really? and not depend on a cour t Again, the answer should whose right wing majority is have been: “In 1967, when the not really that Supreme. U.S. Supreme Court ruled for Loving in Loving v Virginia, the —Robin Tyler and Diane majority of people in the U.S. Olson were the original lesbian did not believe in inter-racial plaintif fs who were the first to file marriage. It took almost three in the case that brought marriage more decades, 1991, for the maequality to California.t




GAY NEWS BRIEFS BLAZING LAPTOPS LOOKING FOR PARTICIPANTS The eighth annual “Blazing Laptops,” a write-a-thon and fundraiser for San Diego Writer’s Ink (SDWI) set to take place June 7, is seeking participants for a day of writing and to help them reach this year’s goal of $15,000. From 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. participating writers — who either pay the minimum $150 entr y fee or seek others to sign up and sponsor them — can spend the seven quiet or festive hours working on whatever type of writing they wish. In addition to providing the space and writing prompts for those who don’t come with their own project to work on, SDWI will also offer food, silent auctions and other activities. “It’s a time to get together to write, raise money for a good cause, write, enjoy time with other writers, and WRITE,” organizers stated in a press release. Writers in attendance will receive a participation certificate, free breakfast, snacks and lunch, as well as opportunities for chair yoga, networking with other writers, and an author talk during lunch. Prizes will be awarded to those who raise the most money for SDWI. In addition, those who raise $500 for SDWI before June 7 will get their choice of an SDWI shirt, mug or tote bag. All monies raised go directly to future SDWI programming costs. Donations for Blazing Laptops or to SDWI are all tax-deductible,

and SDWI staff has various methods in place to allow participants to boost their sponsorship dollars. Blazing Laptops will take place June 7 from 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. at Ink Spot and Inspirations Galler y, located at 2730 Historic Decatur Road #202 at Liberty Station. For more information visit

COMMUNITY FEEDBACK SOUGHT FOR LGBT ARTS CENTER Three local LGBT-affiliated organizations — San Diego Human Dignity Foundation (SDHDF), San Diego Lambda Archives and Diversionar y Theatre — are seeking the public’s feedback on their plan to create San Diego’s first LGBT Cultural and Performing Arts Center (CPAC). The planned location is 4545 Park Blvd., the building that Diversionar y Theatre and Lambda Archives currently call home. “The venue needs capital upgrades,” said John Brown, executive director of SDHDF. Brown said they are looking to establish a planning task force made up of community members as well as staff and board leadership from the three organizations. “[The task force would] determine the viability for financial support from the community to revitalize the venue for its key tenants and improve the building for the future,” Brown said. “It is also imperative to have dialogue and feedback from the public through these meetings so we can share our vision and also hear directly from our neighbors, patrons and supporters.” The meetings are scheduled for May

GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


27 at 11 a.m., June 2 at 7 p.m. and June 7 at 4 p.m. at the Diversionar y Theatre. In addition to these three meetings, outreach is also being conducted one-on-one to other leaders and activists within the community and all the feedback will be combined by the planning task force who will present their recommendations on how to move for ward with the project to the SDHDF board of directors in July. SDHDF purchased the building earlier this year to help stabilize its tenants, Lambda Archives and Diversionar y Theatre. For more information visit and click on the #4545ParkArts icon.

SD LGBT VISITOR CENTER TO LAUNCH AS FOURTH IN NATION On Monday, May 11, at Sommerset Suites in Hillcrest, LGBT activist Eddie Reynoso addressed the San Diego Visitor Center Network (VCN) luncheon — comprised of city visitor centers and bureaus, chambers, entertainment venues and others around the county — to announce the upcoming launch of the San Diego LGBT Visitor Center. Thought to be only the fourth of its kind in the United States — joining Seattle, Key West and Miami — Reynoso hopes to tap into “all that makes San Diego welcoming to LGBT travelers” from around the globe.” “The San Diego LGBT Visitors Center will promote our region’s year-round hospitality and will also help our city, state and region reap the rewards of the thriv-

see Briefs, pg 9


GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


Stranger than fiction Director discusses "I am Michael" film that profiles LGBT activist who became an anti-gay preacher Ken Williams | Contributing Editor In a true story that seems more like fiction, “I Am Michael” — FilmOut San Diego’s Closing Night showcase — delves into an LGBT-rights activist’s shocking religious transformation into an outspoken anti-gay Christian preacher. Michael Glatze, a charismatic Dartmouth graduate with a degree in English literature and creative writing, eagerly advocates for gay rights as cofounder of Young Gay America and YGA magazine. Michael and his longtime partner, Bennett, live the typical gay life in San Francisco, partying with the boys until dawn. But when Bennett, an architect, takes a job in New England, Michael reluctantly comes along, setting the stage for a remarkable and almost unbelievable change after a health scare forces Michael to confront his mortality. After withdrawing from his partner and friends and agonizing within, Michael suddenly renounces his homosexuality and embraces evangelical Christianity and its anti-gay bigotry. The controversial film premiered with considerable buzz earlier this year at Sundance. It stars James

see Stranger, pg 17

Franco’s character suffers from self-inflicted homophobia (Courtesy “I Am Michael”)

THE ALL-AMERICAN BOY Closeted actor’s life revealed on film

boy was befriended by actor Dick Clayton. It was Clayton who encouraged the handsome young man to get into acting and who would eventually become Ken Williams | Contributing Editor his longtime agent and confidante. In a free-flowing conversation with Gay San Actor Tab Hunter had it all: movie star and pop Diego, Hunter recalls the glory years when he was music idol. But his secret nearly put an end to his close pals with sexy stars such as Natalie Wood, Debamazing career before it started. A new documentary bie Reynolds and Sophia Loren — red-hot actresses reveals it all. in the 1950s with whom he was romantically linked With his boy-next-door good looks, Tab Hunter — but in effect they were all “beards” to help hide his was arguably the hottest teen idol of the 1950s, a hit homosexuality. at the movie box office and a pop singer who once “Natalie was so sweet,” Hunter said. “She was a knocked Elvis, the “king of rock ‘n’ roll,” off the top great kid. She was like my little sister.” of the Billboard charts. In those days, the major stuFor all the fame and fortune dios ruled Hollywood and actors that came his way, Hunter were groomed to fit a clichéd hated the spotlight and fiercely image. Hunter was 6 feet tall, guarded his privacy. And he had athletic, blue-eyed and looked good reason: He was gay at a like a blond surfer, so the studio time in history when homosexuknew he would make the girls ality was considered a mental illswoon. Warner Bros. dubbed ness in the U.S. and when gays him “The Sigh Guy,” probably and lesbians were routinely because all the teenage girls harassed or arrested by police. sighed whenever they saw him A gay scandal nearly on the big screen or performing derailed Hunter’s promising cahis hit songs. reer before it got started, when “I was the all-American boy,” his former agent betrayed him Hunter said, “and James Dean like Judas to protect his hot new was the rebel.” client, Rock Hudson, from being The big studios went to outed as a homosexual. great lengths to protect their All of this, and so much investments, and Warner Bros. more, are revealed in the executives must have fainted fascinating documentary, “Tab when a scandalous Tinsel Town Hunter Confidential,” the Openmagazine called Confidential Tab Hunter is profiled in a new documentary ing Night attraction at FilmOut published a report revealing (Courtesy “Tab Hunter Confidential”) San Diego’s 17th annual LGBT that Hunter was once arrested Film Festival. at a “pajama party” in 1950 in LA The documentary — based on Hunter’s bestsellalong with other gays and lesbians. ing 2005 memoir in which he publicly came out as Hunter described the PJ party as fairly innocent gay after a lifetime of rumors — was directed by Jefby today’s standards, with gay guys drinking and frey Schwarz and produced by Allan Glaser, Hunter’s dancing together around a pool along with some longtime partner. lesbians. In his case, he was in his late teens, not of Hunter, Glaser and Schwarz will attend Opening legal drinking age. He originally was charged with Night on May 29 at Observatory North Park and the “idle, lewd or dissolute conduct” and that charge was legendary actor will be honored with a Lifetime Achievereduced to “disorderly conduct” and he was fined $50, according to ment Award from the FilmOut board of directors. For about two weeks after the Confidential exAt age 83, Hunter has given up on Hollywood but pose, “I was a nervous wreck,” Hunter recalled. Then not forgotten the great memories. a major poll came out, revealing that “The Sigh Guy” “I was never really comfortable in the public eye,” had won the audience award for best newcomer. he said, explaining how his strict German Catholic “And that was it,” Hunter said. “The fans didn’t mother encouraged modesty, or “nothing for show.” care. And I never thought about it again.” Hunter lives in Montecito in Santa Barbara The incident, which could have trashed his blosCounty, California, where he enjoys the quiet life with Glaser and dotes on his beloved horses. He’s been see Hunter, pg 17 a horseman since he was a teenager, and as a stable



So far, the San Diego dinners have tapped into guest chefs only from the Los Angles area, which were held at venues that included Bash! in North Park, The Soledad Club in Mount Helix and Malahat Spirits Company in Miramar. But that’s about to change on May 19 at 7 p.m., when local chef-caterer Keith Lord of The Wild Thyme Company presents a Euro-Asian dinner paired to beers from 32 North Brewing

“I would not normally go to restaurants serving these types of foods,” Jensen said. “And I had never had bone marrow before, but I won’t shy away from it next time I see it on a menu. The food was better than I had thought — and the wine and cocktails included at the event weren’t bad either.” Seated a few heads away at the same table was restaurateur Scott Slater of S&M: Sausage and Meat in University Heights and Slater’s 50/50 in Point Loma. He had recently heard about Dinner Lab through social media. “This is the new wave of restaurants,” he said while sipping a tequila cocktail made with fermented soda and seated at the foot of a stage spotlighting the culinar y team plating each course with deft precision. Attendees get to rank each course (Courtesy Dinner The goal for each dinner, say organizers, is to spotlight an undiscovered chef Company. The cost is $70 for from within the region, allowing members and $80 for non-memhim or her to unleash their talbers; its location unknown except ents with the support of Dinner to the culinar y squad. Lab’s culinar y team. The chefs “We’re definitely looking are provided also with a range of more into the San Diego chef kitchen equipment that includes banks,” Saad said, noting that ever ything from smokers and Nick Brune from Local Habit in propane flat tops to pots, pans Hillcrest will head up a summer and cooking utensils. dinner yet to be announced.

Dinner Lab was launched a few years ago in New Orleans by former middle-school teacher Brian Bordainick, who teamed up with cooks and entrepreneurs after throwing several experimental dinner parties that consistently sold out. He currently divides his time running the events in New York and The Big Easy while his team of eight chef managers oversees the dinners held here and in other cities such as San Francisco, New Orleans, Dallas and Minneapolis. Saad said Dinner Lab in San Diego is growing slowly but steadily. “There’s so much going on here in terms of food events so it’s not as easy to gain momentum as it is in secondary cities, where the food scenes are still in their growth phases,” she said. “But we’re actively reaching out.” Jensen believes the concept will take root locally, especially within the LGBT community. “I think as more people and tr y it out, they will come back,” he said. “The atmosphere felt casual and ver y inclusive. I plan on going to a few more of them before making the financial commitment of becoming a member.” For more information about membership and upcoming events, visit —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at t

GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015 FROM PAGE 7

BRIEFS ing LGBT tourism industry,” Reynoso said. “Our goal is to strengthen the region’s economy by marketing the metropolitan San Diego region as a preferred destination for meetings, conventions and leisure travel for LGBT tourists and our allies.” Reynoso, who for three years was the director of marketing for MO’s Universe, plans to launch a website affiliated with the visitor center in June as well as a storefront or kiosk in Hillcrest during the weeks leading up to Pride in July. Reynoso said he is currently in negotiations with several Hillcrest commercial property owners regarding street-level space for the visitor center to operate out of. “Hillcrest is known to be one of the most vibrant and diverse neighborhoods in San Diego and is centrally located to all that there is to offer in San Diego,” Hillcrest business owner Chris Stavros said in a statement. “Ev-


ery city has their own style and we welcome all to experience our SoCal easy going, beachy, flip floppin’ style. Not only does it take support from our local LGBT community for our business to thrive, but it also takes support from our LGBT international community.” Owner of the popular Babycakes restaurant, Stavros donated food for Monday’s VCN meeting, along with Gossip Grill and Crest Café. All three local restaurants will join Reynoso’s venture as its first “par tners in tourism,” and will be featured when the website launches. “We hope to establish partnerships with local LGBT organizations to provide space in our visitor center for retail products that will directly benefit those organizations,” Reynoso said, adding that they have already invited the San Diego Multicultural LGBT Literar y Foundation to offer books from LGBT authors of color for sale in the future space. Stay tuned for more news on this impor tant venture for our community. t



GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015

Sunday Q

it was cooked in a forest fire. Manfred feeds his smokers with proper measures of wood and without dominating the meat with aggressive spice rubs. Baby back ribs aren’t usually ready until 2 p.m., at which point they become fully tenderized. We insisted on a half rack anyhow and they didn’t disappoint despite their semi-firm texture. We loved their peppery rub and “dry” finish, which customers regulate by applying the sauces served alongside. Meals include a roll, butter, house-made sandwich pickles and a choice of sides, including one of the few potato salads I’ve savored outside of my own recipe. The potatoes were tender and interspersed with bacon and crisp celery. And the mayo dressing was light and tangy. The beans are less traditional, but satisfying. They’re cooked with stewed tomatoes, onions and soy chorizo that we thought initially was ground beef. How odd to find a vegan-friendly dish in this house of meat. If barbecue sauce is used in the recipe, we didn’t detect it. Unless you’re on foot, Mark’s Bark is easy to pass, as it still appears from the outside like the dive bar it once was before Manfred and his mom took over the building. But follow your nose and you’ll end up at one of the best and most undiscovered barbecue joints in San Diego.

Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr. Tucked into a residential area of Normal Heights, south of Adams Avenue and just west of I-15, sits an unassuming restaurant where the aromas of hickory and mesquite waft from a black metal door. Inside is a small, fluorescent-lit dining area fronting a serious kitchen equipped with two smokers and multiple stainless steel ovens. Most people outside of the neighborhood don’t know about Mark’s Bark because it’s only open from noon to 6 p.m. on Sundays. In addition, it doesn’t advertise. I came across it randomly on Yelp, thinking at first it was a dog-grooming business until I read the raves about their brisket, ribs and pork sliders. The “bark” of course, refers to the flavor-packed crust that forms on the outer layers of meat after extended smoking. In barbecue competitions around the country, it is these prized sheaths of caramelized fat and spice rubs that judges scrutinize with great obsession. Too much bark is no good. Too little of it indicates the meat contains an undesirable low-fat content. Here, the bark is perfected by Mark Manfred, who also does all the cooking in this same kitchen for Bettina’s Custom Catering, which his mother has been running for more than 20 years. Surprisingly, he’s not from Texas, but rather a San Diego native who is as persnickety about real barbecue as any carnivore from Hill Country. “I just couldn’t find good brisket in town and it’s my favorite cut of meat,” he explained as the reason for opening Mark’s Bark more than a year ago. Manfred has also created recipes for two outstanding barbecue sauces, sans the use of corn syrup. One is spiked with assorted chili peppers and the other is a traditional vinegarbased version balancing sweet and tangy flavors. Both contain brown sugar, and both are downright drinkable. We arrived last Sunday when the door swung open at noon. Within minutes a steady trickle of diverse customers began appearing, one of them a burly guy who revealed he doesn’t easily forgive places selling flawed barbecue.

—Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at

(top) A half rack of slow-smoked ribs; (bottom) Angus brisket; (right) A place for barbecue in Normal Heights (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) “I’ve eaten at about 20 barbecue restaurants in San Diego County, and this is the only one I come back to,” he said as we popped open the lids to our Styrofoam trays and gawked at the luscious-looking meats inside of them. The mildly seasoned pulled pork piled atop rice was glorious. Not too smoky, but clearly evident it was coddled in smoke for nearly 14 hours. Manfred places the pork butt in the smoker directly under the Angus brisket, allowing the beef drippings to further moisturize the pork, which really doesn’t get any better than this. The same meat is used for sliders served on Hawaiian-style rolls sup-

Mark’s Bark

3641 Madison Ave. (Normal Heights) 619-285-9578 Prices: Sliders, $6; plates $12 to $22 plied by a local Philippine bakery. The brisket is also served over rice, but sliced into neat strips boasting dark bark on the edges and glistening, well-marbled flesh in between. Unlike other smoked brisket I’ve had over the years, this didn’t taste as though

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GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


Chef Fred Piehl of The Smoking Goat in North Park recently took over the lease of nearby Mosaic Wine Bar for opening a second restaurant by early fall. “It won’t be a French-bistro concept like The Smoking Goat, but rather something more casual and completely different,” he told Gay San Diego during his preliminary formatting of the new kitchen and menu. Piehl hinted at California-style pizzas and a greater focus on locally sourced vegetables compared to the Goat’s repertoire of meatier dishes. He has also begun settling on a name from “a shortlist of possibilities” while choosing a design firm capable of giving the space “a whole new look and feel.” 3422 30th St. ELE Collective opens Park & Rec in University Heights on May 21, followed by a series of grand-opening events scheduled over Memorial Day weekend, May 23-24. The cocktail-centric establishment replaces Bourbon Street Bar & Grill, which long catered to LGBT customers. Though now tailored to the community at large, its new ownership will continue supporting LGBT fundraisers and events, such as the annual wine-tasting fundraiser for Mama’s Kitchen that’s already on the books for Aug. 4. The collective also owns the adjoining space that housed Lei Lounge, which has yet be recast, as well as Waypoint Public in North Park. 4612 Park Blvd., 619-795-9700.

Swedish native Gustaf Anders Rooth rolls out his oak barrel smoker for an ongoing dinner series at his design studio. (Photo by Tyler Beach)

A bevy of award-winning chefs from San Diego, Baja and beyond are teaming up for the newly launched Barrel Smoker dinner series, held the third Thursday of every month at Planet Rooth Design Haus in Bankers Hill. The dinners, hosted by chef and master craftsman Gustaf Anders Rooth, spotlight foods cooked in Rooth’s inventive iQ Oak Barrel Smoker made of wine barrels. Each dinner will feature multiple courses prepared by a few different chefs — and with a guest winery or brewery taking part. The series kicks off at 6 p.m., May 21, with a family-style meal prepared by chefs Javier Plascencia, Flor Franco and Ricardo Heredia. Wines from Lomita Winery in Valle de Guadalupe will be poured. The cost is $95. Reservations are required. Tickets can be obtained on, under Barrel Smoker dinner series. For information on upcoming dinners, visit 3334 Fifth Ave., 619-297-9663.

Authentic thueringer bratwurst (Courtesy Food for Thoughts Café) At the lip of Golden Hill is a relatively new café, Food for Thoughts, run by two German guys who took over a room and hallway in what used to be the San Diego Physicians-Surgeons Hospital. On Mondays, from 11 a.m. – 5 p.m., they sell house-made sausages from a cart parked out front while bagels, sandwiches, salads and acai bowls are available daily inside the café. In September, however, they will utilize the larger back room to open a fullscale restaurant under the same name. “That area was actually the intensive care unit of the hospital,” said co-owner Kai Schoettke, who moved to San Diego to attend college and then later “became bored” working temporarily at a bank. 446 26th St., 619-602-5541.

Stone Brewing Co. will sell prized releases before closing its South Park tasting room. (Photo by Studi Schulz)

Think backyard barbecue when The Patio Group opens Fireside by the Patio in Liberty Station’s old firehouse by late July. In the company’s latest offshoot to The Patio on Goldfinch in Mission Hills and The Patio on Lamont Street in Pacific Beach, the property will boast 7,000-square-feet of outdoor space equipped with smokers, grills and a Yakitori station. The company’s executive chef, John Mendall, says all of the outdoor cooking equipment will be fueled by mesquite, apple and peach woods. And customers will order their food electronically on tablets. 2855 Perry Road,

Lack of outdoor space factored into Stone Brewing Co.’s decision to forgo renewing its lease at the Stone Company Store-South Park, according to company spokesperson Nickie Pena. The outlet, which opened in 2011, will cease operations on June 7. But as a show of customer appreciation, the tasting room will make available several special releases each day, beginning June 5, for a “Draft Tastic Finale.” The offerings include a mix of Stone drafts and bottles on lauded brews such Barrel-Aged Brown Ale with Balaton Sour Cherries, Xocoveaz Mocha Stout, Spice Oddity, Guardian’s Slumber and more. 2215 30th St., 619-501-3342.

We’re told it will be another three months before Dunedin replaces the shuttered Eddie’s Philadelphia Steaks Hoagies and Burgers in North Park. The restaurant, named after a surf town in New Zealand, will feature similar chow to that of its sister kitchens: Ragland Public House in Ocean Beach; Queenstown Public House in Little Italy and Bareback Grill in Pacific Beach. Look for a big selection of burgers, some crowned with Edam cheese and one made from lamb, plus Kiwi-inspired chicken sandwiches and rivers of beer and wine pulled from casks. 3501 30th St.

A warm farewell to R Gang Eater y at 3683 Fifth Ave. in Hillcrest, which closed its doors May 10 to the tune of “tater tots freshly seasoned with the tears of our staff,” per a Facebook post by chef-owner Rich Sweeney. The popular restaurant, famous for its playful comfort food, enjoyed a five-year run. Sweeney also recently left his post as executive chef at Florent Restaurant & Lounge in the Gaslamp District, but remains onboard as a partner. —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at fsabatini@

The San Diego LGBT Community Center offers HIV testing, prevention/PrEP information, counseling services (one on one, couples and group), HIV information and referrals, and is an enrollment site for Covered California. 619.692.2077 • 3909 Centre Street

This project is/was partially supported by the Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) under H89HA00001, HIV Emergency Relief Project Grants for a contracted amount with the County of San Diego. This information or content and conclusions are those of the author and should not be construed as the official position or policy of, nor should any endorsements be inferred by HRSA, HHS, the U.S. Government or the County of San Diego.



GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015



which is less than half of the complete SDGMC — will be joined on stage after ward by their 13-member FRIENDS the Ensemble and the nine-member SD Youth Pride Chorus to perform four additional numbers. Originally commissioned and premiered by the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus in 2014, Tyler’s Suite is now on a national tour of six other gay men’s choruses in cities that have already included Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago (Windy City), and now San Diego. Next up is New York City and Dallas. Funds and awareness raised from the concerts will benefit the Tyler Clementi Foundation. Jane said that although she and her husband Joe Clementi were awarded nonprofit status in the spring of 2011 and had done media about their venture six months later, they didn’t officially launch the Foundation until June 2012. In the months in between, it was Joe who initially began responding to

SDGMC’s Chamber Chorale perform at the Jacobs Center on May 7. (Photo by Tom Felkner) Ever ything about the Foundation is “guided by Tyler’s stor y,” Jane said. Their latest initiative is called the “Upstander Pledge” where bystanders of

James (center, left) and Jane Clementi (right), surrounded by chorus members at the Jacobs Center after the show. (Photo by Tom Felkner)

Enver Gjokaj and Wrenn Schmidt. Photo by Jim Cox.

All’s Fair in Love, War, and Chocolate


George Bernard Shaw Jessica Stone

Directed by


Zach Appelman (“Homeland,” Broadway’s War Horse) as Captain Bluntschli

Tickets start at $29 Enver Gjokaj

(“Agent Carter,” “Dollhouse”) as Major Sergius Saranoff

Four-time Academy Award Nominee

Marsha Mason

as Catherine Petkoff

Wrenn Schmidt (“The Americans,” “Boardwalk Empire”) as Raina Petkoff

Conrad John Schuck (Broadway’s Annie, Nice Work If You Can Get It) as Major Paul Petkoff

(619) 23-GLOBE (234-5623)

the many emails they were receiving because Jane was still processing their loss. “I couldn’t stay focused,” she said. “I couldn’t read, I couldn’t comprehend, I just wasn’t doing much of anything. It’s hard to explain, you just can’t function; you can barely get out of bed in the morning.” James, who had experienced a mutual coming out conversation with Tyler just months before his death, struggled intensely,oas well. James wrote a series of letters to his young brother in the year after the tragedy, which were later published in OUT Magazine in 2012. “We came from the same gene pool, the same family, the same town, the same schools, the same church, everything the same. But I always saw a confidence and strength in you that I didn’t recognize in myself. Where did you get that? When I thought about where I was going to be in five or 10 years, I could never picture it — my mind would be blank. But when I imagined your future, I saw the world at your feet.” —excerpt from “Letters to my brother” Ironically, nearly five years later James has indeed found his place, working to keep Tyler’s spirit and memory alive through the Foundation. The Tyler Clementi Foundation’s website states that it “promotes safe, inclusive and respectful social environments in homes, schools, campuses, churches and the digital world for vulnerable youth, LGBT youth and their allies.”

bullying online or of fline vow to become upstanders. “We really feel strongly about that because of what happened to Tyler,” Jane said. “There were so many people that saw what was happening and if someone had spoken up and out, I think it would have definitely been a different outcome.” Peter Drake, a board member of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus (SFGMC), initially approached the Clementis with the idea for Tyler’s Suite, with Stephen Schwartz at the helm. Schwartz, the composer and lyricist of “Wicked,” had previously worked with the SFGMC in 2011 on “Testimony,” a choral composition based on submissions to Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better Project.” “We got a call from the great San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus —the birthplace of the gay choral movement,” said RC Haus, artistic director of the SDGMC. “They asked if we would help commission a piece based on the life of Tyler Clementi. I’d only been in my new role as artistic director a few weeks, but the answer was a very quick and easy ‘Yes!’” Soon five other choruses — also acting as co-commissioners — were on board, along with Pamela Stewart as librettist and seven other award-winning composers, including Lance Horne, Nolan Gasser, John Corigliano, John Bucchino, Ann Hampton Callaway, Craig Carnelia and Jake Heggie. Schwartz not only managed the overall project, he also composed

“Brother, Because of You.” Other songs in the suite include; “Meditation,” “I Have Songs You Haven’t Heard,” “A Wish,” “Unicycle Song,” “Just a Boy,” “I Love You More,” and “The Narrow Bridge.” “Just a Boy,” a poem Jane said Joe had written about the loss of not seeing your child mature, resonated deeply with both of them. “Unicycle Song” was written about Tyler’s love for the bike and his music, but has an underlying meaning that connects Tyler with his brothers James and Brian. “Co-commissioning Tyler’s Suite goes right to our mission of changing lives one voice at a time,” Haus said. “It’s who we are — it’s the reason our chorus exists. We all saw this a perfect opportunity to make a difference with our music.” After it is performed at these six cities around the country, the Tyler Clemente Foundation will own the rights to Tyler’s Suite and make it available to other choruses, community theaters, churches, colleges and high schools to use. The Tyler’s Suite tour gives Jane, Joe and James a platform to share their message and celebrate with others their love for Tyler. “Tyler just couldn’t wrap his head around how precious and loved he was; he was consumed by their humiliating tweets about him and others watching his private encounter,” his mother said. “We’re just hoping that people see the urgency and the importance of being careful with your words and your actions, being supportive of people and being a kinder culture.” Haus said the chorus is looking forward to playing at St. James by-the-Sea, because of the church’s beauty, acoustics and newness to the chorus, but that the performance will also be bittersweet. “From a musical standpoint, as the final of our three premiere performances, I know there will be a lot of emotion from our singers,” he said. “It’s our last show and our last chance to say goodbye to Tyler.” “We’re really grateful to San Diego as well as the other six choruses because hopefully this will be a message of hope for many more years to come,” Jane said. The SDGMC’s final performance of Tyler’s Suite will take place May 17 at St. James by-theSea Episcopal Church, located at 743 Propect St. in La Jolla. Tickets are just $20 and available at For more information on the Tyler Clementi Foundation, visit —Morgan M. Hurley can be reached at

Lewis and Freud


GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


dents of either or both men. It’s a per fect fit for Lamb’s audiences. The play was written St. Germain and was suggested by Dr. Armand Nicholi, Jr.’s, “The Question of God.” Nathan Peirson is lighting designer, Juliet Czoka, the costume designer, and director Deborah Gilmour Smyth doubles as the sound designer. Last October, this of f-Broadway play was produced by Nor th Coast Reper tor y Theatre with Bruce Turk as C.S. Lewis

Lamb’s Players explore a meeting of exceptional minds Theater Review Charlene Baldridge

The Lamb’s Players Theatre production of Mark St. Germain’s “Freud’s Last Session” gives producing ar tistic director Rober t Smyth a rare chance to remind audiences what else he can do, which is exceptional work as an actor. This play, in par ticular, suits him to a T. In the role of the much younger C.S. Lewis, director Deborah Gilmore Smyth cast Fran Gercke. The play is set in 1939 London. Suf fering terminal cancer, noted atheist and father of modern psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, having fled Vienna and the Nazis a year earlier, requests a visit from the recently conver ted former atheist Lewis, who is soon to achieve fame with his books “The Chronicles of Narnia” and “The Screwtape Letters.” As Lewis and Freud, Gercke and Smyth make sharp-witted sparring par tners, one representing faith and the other, intellect. Laughs abound and there is much common ground. Gercke presents an insecure, physically ill-at-ease Lewis, who would have been 41 at the time. His appointment

A fictional meeting between Sigmund Freud and C.S. Lewis is the premise for Lambs’ Players “Freud’s Last Session.” (Photo by Nathan Peirson) with Freud in Hempstead, NW London, coincides with Germany’s Sept. 3, 1939, invasion of Poland. Believing he’s been summoned because he wrote something that offended the 83-year-old Freud, Lewis is apprehensive and defensive. He never achieves any sense of ease. Gercke fails to thoroughly evince Lewis’s deep humanity and genuine concern. Granted Lewis is young, but in his own way equal to Freud’s greatness and genius. As the two-handed dialectic unfolds, it’s as if Lewis still feels inept and unequal. He

is appalled, perhaps, but cer tainly not at a loss. Smyth’s Freud is extraordinarily touching as the great man in the extreme, final phase of the disease that has eaten away his jaw. Freud is almost too proud to ask for help. The 11th hour scene in which Lewis is forced to come to Freud’s aid somewhat redeems St. Germain’s largely cerebral play. If such an imagined 90-minute engagement, beautifully designed by Brian Prather, is your cup of tea, “Freud’s Last Session” will delight you as well as stu-

and Michael Santo as Sigmund Freud. Comparisons are indeed odious, but obser ving the dif fering interplay of the two productions in close proximity is a special treat for the theatergoer. Each has its vir tues. — Charlene Baldridge has been writing about the ar ts since 1979. You can follow her blog at or reach her at t



GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015

The emboldened girls A candid conversation with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin Chris Azzopardi | Q Syndicate Lily Tomlin is watching Jane Fonda weep. As the showbiz icon released a steady stream of waterworks — “she’s wiping tears away,” Tomlin noted — Fonda paused slightly to collect herself before answering. The question? Why gay men have forever revered older women even when the rest of the world — and Hollywood — have not. It’s one revelatory moment among many during this candid conversation with the 77-year-old actress and Tomlin, 75, who appear together in the new Netflix original series “Grace and Frankie.” The beloved pair play two golden girls forced to start anew after their husbands drop a big truth bomb: They’re in love with each other. This isn’t the actresses’ first time working together, of course. In 1980, Tomlin and Fonda memorably joined forces with Dolly Parton to put misogynistic men in their place in “Nine to Five.” Decades later, the film is a feministcelebrated comedy classic. Will Dolly make a cameo on “Grace and Frankie”? During our freewheeling interview, the two longtime friends talked about the possibility of a “Nine to Five” reunion on their new series, but they revealed plenty more too. Fonda opened up about her own experiences dating high-profile gay men, one of whom proposed to her. Tomlin recalled the time she lashed out at Chita Rivera. But first, the crying. Chris Azzopardi (CA): You’ve both addressed aging in Hollywood, and this show deals a lot with aging as well. Historically, gay men — we love our “Golden Girls,” we already love Grace and Frankie, we love our Chers and Bette Midlers. Why do you think, despite Hollywood’s reputation for ageism, there has always been a place for older women in the gay community? (Lily): I may be terribly wrong and cutting my tongue out for this: It’s like, well, we’re women of a certain age, and maybe we’re considered more audacious. (Jane): I find the question so moving that it makes me cr y. I had never thought of it before, and it makes me so moved. I think Lily put her finger on it just now. Older women tend to be more audacious; they’re bigger and bolder and, god knows, gay men love big and bold, right? (CA): Does it go any deeper than that, do you think? (Lily): It’s like [drag performer] Lypsinka. I knew he was from Mississippi, and he’s like a little kitten in a way; his hair is so soft and pale red, and he’s got a big, high, very whiteskinned forehead. When I first saw Lypsinka, I could just see this little boy — 4 or 5 years old in Mississippi — growing up around all these Southern women, and my family’s Southern too. I just saw him seeing through them and into their hearts. He saw the women being oppressed and being pigeonholed and how they act kind of audaciously just to free themselves. I just could see that little boy, and he satirized women’s behavior so brilliantly — all the stuff, the travails they have, and I just wept when I saw him because he was so brilliant. I think there are hinges

between those two things. Jane is wiping tears from her eyes. (Jane): How she said that — that he sees through them into their hearts. And also: The notion of surviving. (Lily): And him making up this incredible creature who’s just so much fun to watch, and yet it’s painful. I could feel his little boy pain all through those years. (CA): You both have had a profound influence on the LGBT and ally movements. Can you share a moment in your lives as LGBT activists and trailblazers that stand out as particularly memorable to you? (Jane): Campaigning with Harvey Milk in the Castro District in San Francisco for Prop 6. He was the most joyous. He was like Allen Ginsberg. He was always smiling and laughing, and he was beloved and he was funny. The most lovable person. I was so happy when I was with him. And it was just so much fun going into those gay bars with him — oh my god! (Lily): I never got to meet Harvey Milk. I knew [LGBT activist

(l to r) Sam Waterston, Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda and Martin Sheen star in the new Netflix series, “Grace and Frankie.” (Photo by Melissa Moseley/Netflix)

said anything. And she was at the reunion — there were only four of us at the reunion. (Lily): Four out of the whole class?! Awww. (Jane): And Pat Johnson was there, with an oxygen tank, mind you. It was the first time she’d been out to dinner in five years because she had some allergies to chemicals.

(l to r) Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda reunite as “Grace and Frankie.” and historian] Vito Russo; he was my good friend. I used to exchange so many stories with him. I was up on the Strip one night when I was not on “Laugh-In” yet. I was unknown and a woman that I was friends with who was a publicist had brought Chita Rivera to meet me, and Chita talked with a Bronx accent, and she’s talking really fast and you don’t know what she’s saying. I kind of zoned out for a minute because I could hardly understand her at that point, and then I suddenly heard her say, “purse nelly.” First she had said my “boy dancers” and the skin on the back of my neck bristled up, and that’s when she said “purse nelly” and then I just went ballistic. I said, “What did you say?!” (CA): You lashed out at Chita Rivera? (Lily): I lashed out. She said, “I dunno! WHADISAY?” I said, “You said, ‘purse nelly.’ I wanna know what that means. What you meant by that!” “I don’t know. Whadisay? Pursenelly? Personally.” She was saying “personally”! (Jane): Personally! [Laughs] (Lily): And I didn’t even cop to it. I was so embarrassed. I just doubled over laughing and fell on the floor. (Jane): I just went to my 60th high school reunion. I went four years to an all-girls boarding school, and in the days leading up to the reunion I kept wondering, “God, I wonder whatever happened to Pat Johnson?” Because everyone in the class knew that Patty Johnson was gay, or at least we thought that she was. But no one talked about it. Not even among ourselves. Nobody ever

in “Nine to Five,” which was originally going to be a serious movie until I saw Lily’s one-woman show called “Appearing Nightly.” I decided I didn’t want to make a movie about office workers until she was one of them. And it had to be a comedy. It took me a year to convince her and Dolly to be in it! During that year we kind of saw each other because

(Photos by Melissa Moseley/Netflix)

And there she was with her wife! An amazing woman violinist! And I thought, well, this is very great. I never ever would have imagined back in the day that Pat Johnson would be able to get married to her lady friend. (CA): Let’s talk about your friendship with each other. Was it

we’d be talking about different ideas and stuff, and so we kind of became friends before “Nine to Five.” (CA): What is different about working with each other on “Grace and Frankie” compared to when you worked together on “Nine to Five” 35 years ago? (Jane): We’re together more! I

(l to r) Lily Tomlin, Brooklyn Decker (who plays Fonda’s daughter) and Jane Fonda (Photo by Melissa Moseley/Netflix)

smooth sailing from the very beginning? (Lily): Yeah, we hit it off right away. I was so excited when Jane came to see one of my shows way back in the day (Jane): This was pre-“Nine to Five”! (Lily): Yeah. I was all excited. She came backstage and was very complimentary, and then next thing I knew … (Jane): I was offering her a role

mean, it’s four months, almost every day for almost 15 hours, which is a real treat for me. You know, Lily is very unusual. She has a real funny bone. So, watching her take on not just the scripts but life is a pleasure. (Lily): Thank you, Ms. Fonda! (CA): After doing the first season of “Grace and Frankie,” what advice do you have for women who are romantically involved with a gay man?

(Jane): Try to stay friends. You know, it happened to a friend of mine when I lived in Atlanta, and she told me about it and it was very hard for her because she really loved him a lot. Because she loved him, she was able to understand that he needed to become who he really was, and they remained very, very close friends and they still live in the same building. I think that’s the way to do it. Compassion, empathy, love, understanding — we need more of it. (CA): Have either of you dated a gay man before? (Jane): Oh yes! Oh my god. When I was young, I was the female that gay guys wanted to try to become heterosexual with. A very famous actor who’s gay — and I will not name names — asked me to marry him. I was very flattered, but I said, “Why?” This was 1964. And I mean, he wasn’t the only one. It’s very interesting. And I lived for two years with a guy who was trying to become heterosexual. I’m intimately acquainted with that. (CA): Did that come to mind as you were shooting this show, where you are married to a gay man? (Jane): [Laughs] No! Not until you made me think of it right now. (CA): Lily, have you had any similar experiences? (Lily): No, I didn’t; but I had girlfriends who dated gay guys in college and they couldn’t understand why so-and-so didn’t, you know, take them into their arms and sweep them away. Because they danced together so well! They were beautiful, tall blonde people! They were just kind of breathtaking, and they did make a nice looking couple, but that was about as far as it would go — looks. I had a girlfriend and we got into a big fight about being gay when I first moved to New York. She was watching “Lust for Life” with Anthony Quinn, who is so macho as Gauguin in that movie, and I said something like, “Look how macho this guy is — he’s unbelievable!” She said, “If I were gay, I’d beat down the door of the nearest psychiatrist.” I said, “If I fell in love with my refrigerator, I’d give it lamb chops!” (CA): Netflix has really been a pioneer in reaching beyond LGBT stereotypes and being LGBT inclusive, and it’s done it again with “Grace and Frankie.” How do you feel about the state of gay characters on TV as a whole? And what is it about this platform that allows Netflix to tell LGBT stories without getting gimmicky or exploitative? (Lily): I think it’s been a long time coming. Although, it’s hap-

see Lily and Jane, pg 15


LILYANDJANE pened because of so many things that have gone before, and this culture has changed. Large parts of the culture have changed. Not the culture as a whole. You know, there’s still a lot of — (Jane): Homophobia. I lived in the South for 20 years, and, unfortunately, homophobia is all too alive and rampant, but because there are so many more gay men and women in mass media and they’re very lovable — and more and more people are coming out — Americans know somebody who’s gay and lesbian. Once that happens, it’s a lot harder to remain homophobic. (CA): Did you ever think that gay marriage would be a reality in your lifetime? (Lily): No, I did not. (Jane): No, I didn’t either. (Lily): I mean, I began to suspect. The last generation or two that have come along, they so demanded to be visible and they’ve taken for granted everything that the gay community had fought for so hard for a long time — it was wiped away from their minds that they were not accepted or not loved. I mean, they may have known it but they didn’t own it.

(Jane): I agree, and I’m very optimistic. I found what Justice Kennedy said — that it should be looked at as sex discrimination — cause for optimism. (CA): I remember when this show was announced, everyone was really hyped about you two getting back together, but they were also hoping for a Dolly Parton cameo. Has that been discussed as a real possibility amongst show runners? (Lily): Well, it’s been discussed because so many people inquired about it and thought about it. Of course Dolly’s a good friend and the three of us really like each other and we’ve been friends all these years, but because “Grace and Frankie” is set apart, we want to establish our identity before we think about dragging the “Nine to Five” life into it. (Jane): It’s a different style. It’s a different animal. We wanna keep it that way. For now, anyway. (CA): What do you think your “Nine to Five” characters, Judy and Violet, are up to these days? (Jane): Violet’s probably heading up a Silicon Valley company! Maybe we’re married! —Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at

GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015 to join us for either of these fun events, contact me at outreach@ More information about #BeTheGeneration is at


BENNY the traditional Southern California LGBT Pride season begins this weekend with Long Beach Pride ( This year is gearing up to be one of the most exciting Pride celebrations in San Diego yet, as our Pride festival becomes one of the biggest music festivals in the area! San Diego Pride has begun announcing this year’s entertainment lineup AND for the first time ever, a VIP ticket option is available to the festival. Check out the details here: Finally, many of you have come to know how passionate I am about The Center’s #BeTheGeneration campaign to end new cases of HIV. We’ve been spreading the campaign all over the place, and it’s been exciting to see how many people around town and beyond are learning about all of the new advances in HIV prevention and treatment that really are game-changers. Our next two events include a Sunday Funday bar crawl this Sunday, May 17; and a #BeTheGeneration Party at Urban MO’s on May 31. If you’d like


—Benny Cartwright is the director of community outreach at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. He can be reached at 619692-2077 ext. 106 or outreach@

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ACROSS 1 Lie beside 5 Gold Olympic award for Megan Rapinoe 10 “My stars!” 14 Kelly McGillis’ “The Monkey's ___” 15 Shelley in “Popeye” 16 Stow, as cargo 17 Start of a quote from 32-Across 20 Be in the hole 21 Mishima, for one 22 Like notebook paper 23 Title woman in a 1925 Broadway hit 25 Novelist de Balzac 26 Prefix for da Vinci's land 27 Got naked and wet 29 Records, to Lambda Legal Defense 30 Bundle up 32 Movie about an overprotective parent 37 One that reproduces without sex 38 Shrinking sea 40 “Desperate Housewives” lane 44 Hull section

45 Words after honey 46 Customer on “Six Feet Under”? 48 Cathedral of Hope topper 49 Hindu master 51 Alternate sp. 52 End of the quote 55 Pasolini’s bone 56 Writer Wystan Hugh 57 Barely gets, with “out” 58 They wave their sticks at Citi Field 59 Fourth Estate 60 Where a co. can bet its bottom dollar

solution on page 18 DOWN 1 Smelling salts ingredient 2 Jaason Simmons was a lifeguard in this TV show 3 Tammy Baldwin’s body? 4 WBA decision 5 Excited 6 Interior designer de Wolfe 7 Merrill who played with Dick Sargent in “Operation Petticoat” 8 Shakespearean stream 9 Give the green light 10 Noble or Valby 11 “I Will Survive” singer Gloria 12 Stick fast 13 Signed over 18 Western defense gp. 19 Look from Judi Dench in “Notes on a Scandal” 24 Carrier to Tel Aviv 25 Hang around 27 Mapplethorpe’s “Dark ___ Rose”

28 Type of crime 30 Bernstein manuscript, e.g. 31 Native American tongue 33 Male deliverers 34 Despina, in “Cosi fan tutte” 35 Allen Ginsberg partner Peter 36 Captains of industry 39 “A Girl Thing” director 40 Smarts 41 Make obligatory 42 Most bashful 43 Trunks of sculpture 44 Inconsequential upturn 46 Bars of soap 47 Black pussy cats, e.g. 49 Epithet 50 Like some bad shots by Mauresmo 53 Ben Vereen forte 54 Adverb for Lord Byron



GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015




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STRANGER Franco as Michael and Zachar y Quinto as Bennett. The cast includes Charlie Car ver as the young Tyler, who would become part of a “thruple,” or a three-way relationship, and Emma Roberts as the young woman Michael would eventually marr y. Look for memorable supporting roles performed by Dar yl Hannah, Leslie Ann Warren and others. “I Am Michael” is inspired by a 2011 New York Times Magazine article titled “My ExGay Friend,” written by Benoit Denizet-Lewis. The article generated a national dialogue, catching the attention of James Franco and his production company, and they optioned the material for a possible movie. Justin Kelly then came aboard as co-writer with Stacy Miller, and he would go on to direct the movie under the mentorship of the legendar y director Gus Van Sant. Kelly told Gay San Diego that the creative team took great pains to be as fair as possible in telling Michael’s complicated story. Both Kelly and Van Sant are openly gay, so they wanted to keep their personal feelings in the background. “The goal from day one — me, Gus, James — was to take a neutral, non-judgmental approach to telling the stor y,” Kelly said. At a time when LGBT issues are moving for ward at a staggering speed — from gay marriage argued this spring at the U.S. Supreme Court, Olympic hero Bruce Jenner coming out as transgender, and U.S. states beginning to ban “ex-gay” therapy as junk science — a film like “I Am Michael” appears timely and relevant. Kelly said the filmmakers’ goal was less about sending a message and more about starting a conversation between people who support the LGBT community and those who don’t really understand the issues. “The film is really about the power of religion and belief,” Kelly said. In Michael’s case, the fear of dying triggered a search for the meaning of life and an unquenchable thirst for faith. Just as Michael had poured his heart and soul into fighting for gay rights, he suddenly switched gears and devoted all his energy into his newfound

fundamentalist religion. In doing research to write the script, Kelly went to Wyoming to meet Michael, who at the time was still studying at a seminary. Michael showed up at the meeting, holding a Bible, spouting anti-gay rhetoric. “It was very bizarre to me, very intense,” Kelly said. “I’m gay. I didn’t grow up with a religious background. I grew up with John Waters as an idol.” After meeting Michael and interviewing his ex-partners and friends, Kelly came away with a series of clues about why he believes the religious transformation occurred. This is the heart of the movie. The one thing that struck him was that Michael did not change his sexual orientation because of “ex-gay” therapy. “He didn’t go through conversion therapy,” Kelly said. Franco seemed the perfect choice to play the role of Michael; Kelly said they share the same charisma and a common smile. “With James onboard, I thought Zach was a great fit,” he said. “Being a gay actor was a bonus. I love having an out gay actor play the part of Bennett.” Quinto, who has perfected the art of playing the villain in movies and on television, is cast against type and playing a softer character in “I Am Michael.” Kelly mar veled at how Quinto grasped the character of Bennett and “made him a real guy.” In the movie, Michael cannot terminate his emotional connection to Bennett even after he declares he is a heterosexual and marries a woman he meets at the seminar y. Many viewers will wonder if Michael truly is the man he claims to be, as it raises the tantalizing issue about the fluidity of human sexuality where not ever yone is 100 percent straight or 100 percent gay. Kelly notes the hot-topic debate of “choice” vs. “born that way” when it comes to sexuality. He thinks it is a superficial argument when there are still places worldwide where people can be stoned to death simply for being gay or accused of being gay. The film’s story ends in 2013, when Michael was still proselytizing against homosexuality. Two years later, Michael has apparently toned down his rhetoric. “He is no longer anti-gay because of this film,” Kelly explained. —Ken Williams is editor of Uptown News and Mission Valley News and can be reached at ken@ or at 619-961-1952.t


HUNTER soming career, did not stop Hunter from his romantic adventures with famous men. He fell madly in love with Olympic ice skater Ronnie Robertson, then later had a “wonderful relationship” with hot new actor Anthony Perkins (“Psycho”). He also mentioned a fling with Russian ballet great Rudolf Nureyev and actor Scott Marlowe. Since 1983, he has been partnered with Glaser, a producer with whom he made the cult classic, “Lust in the Dust” (1985), and “Dark Horse” (1992) and now “Tab Hunter Confidential.” Hunter is “really pleased at the great reception” the documen-

GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015 tar y has received at film festivals since it has its world premiere at South by Southwest (SXSW) in Austin, Texas. “I guess people can relate to it,” he said, noting that he had not seen the film on the big screen until he watched it recently at a festival in Seattle. He said he enjoyed watching the old clips from his movies and the archival interviews with his former co-stars that are included in the documentary. “I look at it as my past life,” Hunter said, enjoying a good laugh. “I’ve been there, I’ve done that.” A conversation with Hunter inevitably comes down to an easy name-dropping of all the wonderful stars he crossed paths with: James Dean, Jane Fonda, Burt Reynolds, Angie Dickerson, Nata-


lie Wood and Robert Wagner, who he calls “RJ” as a sign of affection. Hunter was romantically linked to Wood at a time when his face was on the cover of every teen magazine in the country and his singing career was taking off. In 1957, Hunter’s single, “Young Love,” climbed to No. 1 on the music charts and he knocked Elvis down a peg. “Natalie was going out with Elvis for a while, before she met RJ,” he recalled. “She said Elvis wasn’t happy that I used his backup singers on my record!” If only Elvis knew Hunter’s big secret. —Ken Williams is editor of Uptown News and Mission Valley News and can be reached at ken@ or at 619-961-1952.t

mo18 c.ds-yaGAY g SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015


PFLAG Scholarship Awards Luncheon: PFLAG San Diego County and San Diego Human Dignity Foundation will host “Launching Leaders,” a scholarship awards luncheon. Tickets start at $50. 12:30 – 2 p.m. McMillin Event Center, 2875 Dewey Road, Liberty Station. Visit


San Diego River Foundation River Clean-Up with Gay for Good: Gay for Good has partnered with the San Diego River Foundation to remove trash and debris from the river in the Santee area. 9 a.m. – noon. Old Man’s Pond, 9882 Chubb Lane, Santee. Find Gay For Good – San Diego on Facebook. Two-Day Intensive Workshop: ‘Golden Paint Essential: Iridescent, Metal and Rust Effects’: Instructor Kevin Greeland leads this hands-on workshop using Golden products. $215. 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.; second session same hours on Sunday, May 17. The Studio Door, 3750 30th St., North Park. Visit 19th Annual North Park Festival of Arts: Free festival highlighting local art, live music and dance performances, craft beer and much more. 11 a.m. – 6 p.m. Main stage at 30th Street and University Avenue, North Park. Visit She She Groove Dance: Event for women over 35 with DJ dancing, food and drink specials and happy hour. $10. 7 – 10 p.m. Dog House Bar & Grill, 3515 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


#BeTheGeneration May Bar Crawl: A fun bar crawl promoting The Center’s campaign to end new cases of HIV in San Diego. $15 donation for #BeTheGeneration t-shirt. Starts at 3 p.m. #1 Fifth Avenue, 3845 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit bethegeneration. ‘Tyler’s Suite & A Celebration of Life’: San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus is presenting this special work by Stephen Schwartz in memor y of Tyler Clementi, the young Rutgers freshman who leapt to his death from the George Washington Bridge after his college roommate filmed him kissing a man in their dorm. 3 p.m. St. James by the Sea, 743 Prospect St., La Jolla. Visit ‘Broadway, Our Way’: Frenchie Davis will join the San Di-

THURSDAY, MAY 21: Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast: This annual event is the largest of its kind. It brings together more than 1,000 San Diegans from diverse backgrounds who all support equality and justice. Honorees/speakers this year include LA HIV/AIDS activist Phill Wilson and the Reverend Troy Perry, founder of Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) and author of “Don’t Be Afraid Anymore” and “The Lord is My Shepherd and He Knows I’m Gay.” 7:30 – 9 a.m. Hilton San Diego Bayfront, 1 Park Blvd., Downtown. Tickets start at $65 and tables are almost sold out. Visit ego Women’s Chorus for this fundraising performance benefitting the Lesbian Health Initiative of the San Diego Human Dignity Foundation. 7 p.m. Balboa Theatre, 868 Fourth Ave., Gaslamp. Visit


Erich Bergen in ‘Erich Bergen – Live!’: The actor will feature songs from his stage and screen career as well as tunes from his two EPs. Doors 6 p.m., show 8 p.m. $25 reser ved seating with $15 food/drink minimum. Martinis Above Fourth, 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus dance audition: SDGMC will be holding dance auditions for their summer show “Imagine – The Music of Lennon & McCartney.” University Christian Church, 3900 Cleveland Ave., Hillcrest. Visit HRC Connect: A social event




Programs from a previous Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast greet attendees (Photo by Big Mike) for networking and hearing about topics of interest in the LGBT community. This month’s topic is the launch of HRC’s social and digital media campaign called “#DailyBlue” to raise awareness about PrEP. 7 – 9 p.m. The Rabbit Hole, 3377 Adams Ave., Normal Heights. Visit Lesbians Considering Parenting Workshop: Held ever y third Tuesday of the month, addresses parenting issues and options and is facilitated by Suzann Gage, OB/GYN nurse practitioner, licensed acupuncturist, and nutritionist. 6:30 – 8 p.m. Lesbian Health Clinic at Progressive Health Ser vices, 2141 El Cajon Blvd., University Heights. Visit


Shop with Pride: Whole Foods Market in Hillcrest will donate 5 percent of the day’s proceeds to projects and programs of San Diego Pride. 7 a.m. – 10 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 711 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit Facebook. com/SanDiegoLGBTPride. Grunion run: These events follow high tides when the grunions come for a mating ritual on shore. $14 for members, $16 for the public. 10:30 p.m. – 12:30 a.m. Birch Aquarium, 2300 Expedition Way, La Jolla. Visit


‘A New Brain’: The San Diego premiere of this show star ts tonight, runs through June 21. Diversionar y Theatre, 4545 Park Blvd., University Heights. Visit diversionar or call 619-220-0097


Movie Night: Children vote on movie selection with snacks and drinks provided at no charge. Attendees are invited to bring

comfortable seating and bedding for a casual family movie night. 6 – 8:30 p.m. San Diego LGBT Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit 


Kickers Countr y Line Dancing: Ever y Thursday and Saturday night come check out the cowboys and cowgirls as they spin across the floor, join in or even take free lessons. All skill levels encouraged. Drink specials. 7 – 9 p.m Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit .


Operation Rebound Concert Marathon: San Diego Civic Organist Carol Williams will play for 12 hours and 15 minutes (a world record) to raise funds for Operation Rebound, a program of Challenged Athletes Foundation for local wounded warriors. Donations encouraged. 8 a.m. – 8:15 p.m. Spreckels Organ Pavilion. Visit ‘Guard’ B-Q: The Guards of the San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will be ser ving up grilled goodies to raise funds for their organization. Noon – 5 p.m. The Loft, 3610 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit

MONDAY, MAY 25 – MEMORIAL DAY The Center will be closed: In obser vance of Memorial Day. Latino Night at Urban MO’s: Held the last Monday of ever y month, the event featured DJ Fariba, happy hour all night and no cover. 9:30 p.m. – closing. Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave., Hillcrest. Visit


LGBT Militar y Suppor t Group: For LGBT active

duty ser vice members and their families — meeting on the four th Tuesday of ever y month. Open for couples with or without children. 6 – 7:30 p.m. For more information, contact Caroline Bender at 619-222-5586 or San Diego LGBT Center, 3909 Centre St., Hillcrest. Visit


Out Night at Cygnet: An evening for theater-lovers in the LGBT community. Pre-show mixer on the patio for ever yone with a ticket to tonight’s performance of “The Whale.” The show runs through June 14. 6:30 p.m. 4040 Twiggs St., Old Town. Tickets 619-337-1525 or


GSDBA Advocacy Committee Meeting: Fighting for public policies consistent with GSDBA mission and core values, the current priorities of premier concern are attaining full business equality for GSDBA members and full equality for LGBT persons. 12:15 – 1:30 p.m. GSDBA Conference Room, 3737 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest. Visit Democrats for Equality: Monthly meeting open to public on fourth Thursday of month. Meeting at 7 p.m. with social time beginning one halfhour prior. Joyce Beers Community Center, 3900 Vermont St., Hillcrest. Visit ‘Suspicion’: Cinema Under the Stars presents this thriller starring Car y Grant and Joan Fontaine. 8 p.m. $15. 4040 Goldfinch St., Mission Hills. Movie also screens Friday. For more info visit or call 619-295-4221. —Email calendar items to morgan@sdcnn.comt


Rant: Berating referees is bad practice Dugout Chatter Jeff Praught I see and hear about what goes on in sports recreational leagues. No different than anywhere else in the countr y, San Diego has some feisty athletes. I have seen players on teams verbally abuse officials in flag football, softball, tennis, basketball, and yes, even billiards. Just about ever y time I witness such a spectacle, I wonder just what, exactly, that player or coach thinks they can achieve by going nuclear on an official. I have been coaching teams in various sports since high school. I have seen ever y bad call out there in ever y sport. You think recreational league officials are bad? Check out what kind of talent collegiate intramural sports leagues are throwing out there. But poor calls are not what make officials deserving targets of abuse, nor the “bad ref” or “bad official” labels. Those reputations have a habit of not only sticking around for a long time, but are often impossible to shake even if the official improves with experience. In my judgment, the only time an official should be open to reasonable and potentially loud criticism is when they have not

performed their duty with technical accuracy. That is to say, if an umpire makes a bad call but was in the correct position to at least make the call, I chalk it up to human error. In my judgment, arguing with officials should be the end result of a pro-and-con list that determines what you can actually achieve by doing so. How often does berating an umpire result in them changing their call? The answer may not be zero but it is about as close to zero as zero can be. The one time I ever raised my voice strongly at an umpire came after he made a terrible call, but the call was not my biggest complaint. My issue was that he never left his position from behind home plate and called an out on the base paths, which required him to move. The out nullified the tying run of the game and eliminated us from a tournament. I had nothing to lose from arguing because we were done. Being a smart ass, I yelled at him to ask for help — this tournament game was played with only one umpire — and when he looked at me, baffled and wondered why I would ask such an asinine question, I replied: “Because I am sure the ‘blues’

on those other fields got a better look at that play than you did!” For the record, that particular umpire is one of the best that America’s Finest City Softball League (AFCSL) has ever employed in my 13 years with the league. Even the best ones screw up. I often also see opposing manag-

GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015 football or basketball players. In SD Hoops, it seems to always be the refs’ fault when a team loses. Never mind that it is impossible for two refs to see ever y bit of contact in a game. Yeah, bad calls are made. But refs are not the ones shooting 40 percent from the free throw line, which teams seem to do ever y season. Instead of blaming the refs for apparent inequalities of foul calls, maybe the winning strategy is to not go 5-for-16 from the free throw line. And if you were a referee, would you suddenly start changing your foul calls if a player started berating you? If you are a coach, would you

(l to r) ASA umpires Sandi Diaz and Neill Kovrig take a break during America's Finest City Softball League games. (Courtesy Neill Kovrig) ers talk garbage about umpires behind their backs. I see them lose their cool on the field. Maybe they think they are sticking up for their team in some sort of machismo act. I usually see it as a team looking for leadership from their manager and instead getting an emotional drama-bomb. Softball is not even the biggest culprit. I am undecided as to whether that honor goes to flag

be happy having a referee who would? No way. In flag football, especially in this city, there seems to be an enormous amount of unspent testosterone just waiting to erupt at any minute. The bigger the ego, the worse the refs are, because no way could a team that is practicing three times a week possibly make enough mistakes to lose a game themselves. It is


seemingly always on the refs for calling phantom holds, not calling pass interference, etc. To me, a leader and the superior athletes on any team are those who can keep their emotions in check and NOT berate an official when something goes wrong, even if the call was atrocious. Leaders and stars forget the play and move on to what they can control, which is the next play. There are those who complain and say that referees should be better because they are getting paid. First of all, they are getting paid peanuts, really. Second, while they do attend preseason clinics, officiating is not a full-time job. It is something they do once a week. Think it’s so easy? Tr y it yourself sometime. If you were coaching a team — especially a beginning team — and your player was out there tr ying his butt off but screwing up, would you berate him, or encourage him? Ver y few people improve from getting talked down to. So take my humble advice and lay off the refs and take some responsibility for how you or your team left the game’s outcome close enough to be decided by a bad call. They are tr ying their best, so go easy on them, even if they miss an obvious trap call or a center getting clocked in the head under the rim. Unless, of course you think it will gain your team an advantage to rant and rave. You would be the first. —Jeff Praught is actively involved in the LGBT sports community. He can be reached at


GAY SAN DIEGO May 15- 28, 2015

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