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Volume 9 Issue 8 April 13 – 26, 2018

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Best of Gay San Diego ballot Page 16

Ten years of LGBT ministry


Metropolitan Community Church fundraiser celebrates pastor’s commitment

Photographic history


By Neal Putnam


(l to r) Jordan Vega from Los Angeles makes an attempt for a 2-point roll over competing against Cory Dut from San Diego at the 12th annual Bulldogs Wrestling Tournament at The Center on April 7. (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher)

Taking it to the mat

San Diego Wrestling Club holds annual Bulldogs Wrestling Tournament Rainbow flag and more …

Albert H. Fulcher | Editor On April 7, San Diego LGBT Community Center’s auditorium hosted the San Diego Wrestling club’s 12th annual Bulldogs Wrestling Tournament. With nearly 30 mat men (wrestlers) coming from around the country, it was a friendly, freestyle wrestling event for competitors of all divisions and experience.


"Men on Boats" - a gender bending cast


from Seattle, Denver, Austin, San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego participated in this year’s annual event. Celebrating its 20th year, SDWC encompasses all people regardless of gender, orientation and physical abilities, and it is open to any level of wrestlers from beginners to tournament champions.

see Wrestling, pg 3

see Pastor Dan, pg 3

Pathways to gay men in San Diego


New book explores the sexual migration of local gay Mexican immigrants By Rick Braatz

Seaglass' hidden treasures

Index 6


Family, friends, supporters in the wrestling community cheered as the wrestlers took to the mat. The rules were simple: Follow the referees’ instructions, refrain from hurting your opponent, perfect your skill level and most of all, have fun participating in the sport. Russ Connelly, director of the San Diego Wrestling Club (SDWC), said wrestlers

A celebration of Pastor Dan Koeshall's 10th anniversary as senior pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church will occur Friday, April 27 at 6 p.m. at the LGBT Center in Hillcrest. It's also Pastor Dan's birthday and a fundraiser to benefit MCC ministries. An Italian dinner with salad and dessert with entertainment and dancing along with a silent auction is scheduled at a cost of $20 per adult. Tickets for those between 12-18 are $10, and children under 12 are free.







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As of 2013, there were roughly 900,000 LGBT immigrants in the U.S. and about 30 percent were undocumented, the majority of which were Hispanic, according to the Williams Institute. For many of these immigrants, particularly those without documents, the paths they took to get here were filled with unique challenges, including cultural and language barriers, severe economic exploitation, discrimination and prejudice within and outside the LGBT community, and, of course, the threat of deportation. A new book, by scholar Hector Carrillo, gives a history of these immigrants

by focusing on the lives of gay Mexican immigrants to the San Diego metropolitan area. Carrillo is a professor of sociology at Northwestern University in Illinois where he teaches courses and publishes research on the subject of sexuality and migration. His recently released book, “Pathways of Desire: The Sexual Migration of Mexican Gay Men,” tackles the subject of local gay Mexican immigrant’s motivations for migrating, what their lives were like back home, the pathways they took to get here and how they became incorporated into the area. Carrillo’s study claims to be the largest qualitative study (a type of research that seeks to

understand people’s patterns of lived experience) to date on what he calls “sexual migration” — migration motivated by sexuality, by the opportunity to explore one’s sexuality in what many of the men perceived to be a more sexually liberal context. Carrillo and his team interviewed 80 self-identified gay men (a few identified as bisexual) who migrated from Mexico to the San Diego area with an additional 36 U.S.-born, gay, Latino men and 34 U.Sborn, gay, non-Latino men as comparison groups. The men were interviewed between 2003 and 2006.

see Pathways, pg 8

Hector Carrillo, author of “Pathways of Desire: The Sexual Migration of Mexican Gay Men” (Courtesy of Hector Carrillo)

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018



see Pastor Dan, pg 15

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“We are the only adult wrestling club that is sanctioned by USA Wrestling San Diego,” Connelly said. “We like beginners, we have a full staff of coaches for instruction and we are looking to expand our membership because there are many people that do not have the opportunity to get out on the mat after college in San Diego County.” Connelly said it has the coaches for any level of wrestling. “Different people have different goals,” he said. “Some want a cardio workout, some want more mat time to train for tournaments, and like today, we provide that experience along with

attended a 22-week class, and when that didn't work, he took part of the course again. “The second time through this course I learned how to suppress my feelings pretty well,” said Koeshall. “I was able to stuff my true self into a little box, put it on a shelf in the closet, close the door and not go near it. For several years, I managed this suppression. “Being gay was not going away,” Koeshall continued, who said he went into therapy with a Christian counselor. “I came to realize God is OK with me. God made me just as I am, and I am not a mistake,” he said. “I was created the way I am to be used by God. Being gay didn't take away my ministry call.” Dan came to this belief to accept himself before he was kicked out of the Assemblies



Metropolitan Community Church Pastor Dan Koeshall (Courtesy of Dan Koeshall)



our affiliated clubs in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Denver and other cities, including those affiliated with USA wrestling.” The Center in Hillcrest is home for the SDWC, who hold practices on Thursday nights at 7 p.m. It is the only year-round freestyle wrestling club catering to adults who have an interest or want to practice the sport of wrestling. “What we do is provide the opportunity for those that are taking the instruction here and using it in tournaments throughout San Diego County and throughout the country,” Connelly said. “As a member of USA Wrestling, they can participate in tournaments anywhere.” For more information, visit


Wrestlers from San Diego and beyond compete at the annual Bulldogs Wrestling Tournament to perfect their skills in friendly competition. (Photo by Albert H. Fulcher)

Koeshall, who is fondly referred to as Pastor Dan, began his senior pastor role in January, 2008 after serving as interim pastor at Pikes Peak MCC in Colorado from 2006-2007. An inspiring story Koeshall was an Assemblies of God associate minister only to be fired once the pastor and district superintendent discovered he is gay. He said they called it “a moral failure” and he would “never be allowed to come back” to the Assemblies of God denomination. This was a tremendous shock, but Koeshall later understood that “when one door is closed, another is always opened.” Koeshall began attending the MCC in San Diego in 1997 where he would later serve as senior pastor. He has told his story in many sermons, forums, and in the book “Dragonfly Stories,” which celebrates the LGBT community. Koeshall grew up as a fundamentalist and attended the Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena before he became ordained in the Assemblies of God church. He knew the struggle going on inside himself and went into an ex-gay ministry to try and change. Dan


of God denomination. Because of that, he didn't feel absolute despair. He had attended some MCC services, but this pushed him to go there full time. He became the minister of music in 1999. “My journey has been painful at times, but my experience has allowed me to help others,” said Koeshall. “It's good to see how there is life after a seemingly devastating experience. A big key is not having bitterness, not having resentment...not being a victim. There is room in this world for everyone to shine in their unique giftedness.” Koeshall is a member of the LGBT advisory boards to both Mayor Kevin Faulconer and San Diego County Sheriff William Gore. He helped start a ministry service at the George Bailey Detention Facility for transgender people, which later included everyone. On April 13, he will give an invocation for the San Diego celebration for the swearing in for state Senator Toni Atkins who was elected the Senate president. He participated in the march and service in Hillcrest after the 2017 shootings at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, and also at observances on World AIDS Day. “I'm honored and blessed to be part of the community where I can lift up our spiritual selves as part of our wholeness mind, body and spirit and celebrate our authentic lives,” he said.




GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

A picture-perfect collection Out of the Archives Archives Staff Lambda Archives is home to more than 100,000 photos in our collection. They have come to the Archives from a variety of sources. Many came from individuals who brought albums or boxes. Thousands came from the holdings of two of the longest-running LGBT-themed newspapers in town—the Gay and Lesbian Times and the Update. A large box of slides — from back in the day when serious photographers preferred that medium — came from Chris

Shaw, owner of the MO’s Universe family of restaurants. The images were shot by J. Marcus Newman at Shaw’s former club, West Coast Production Company. Slides are such a rarity that the Archives doesn’t have a slide scanner to be able to digitize them so is working out an arrangement under which San Diego State University will scan them, saving the Archives a large expense and the need to store a piece of equipment which likely will not see much future use. Paul Detwiler, who made extensive use of the Archives for his upcoming documentary about San Diego’s gay bars, also stumbled across some

Capturing LGBT history, one frame at a time


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wayward photos of early bars and was able to get them donated to the Archives. Among them were shots from inside Peacock Alley, a bar that once existed in the space now occupied by The Merrow. When the owners of Park & Rec took over their space, they found boxes and boxes of photos from Bourbon Street, the long-running and popular gay bar that had been the previous tenant in that location. Park & Rec called the Archives and the staff gratefully collected those photos as well as other Bourbon Street memorabilia. Some people bring photo albums full of their remembrances of Prides, AIDS Walks, and sometimes their own life events such as weddings. Sadly, some of those wedding photos make their way to the Archives after the couple splits up. When albums do arrive at Lambda Archives, it is a high priority for the archivists, interns and volunteers to get the photos out of the albums. The plastic sleeves found in most albums leach chemicals into the photos that will eat them faster than if they were stored in plain paper. Unless the pages specifically say they are archival quality, it is best not to use them. For a while, there was a trend among many consumers to use photo albums with selfstick pages, but these are even worse because the gum or glue

Interns at Lambda Archives go through the detailed process of archiving the more than 100,000 photos in its current collection (Photos courtesy of Lambda Archives.) on those pages will dissolve the photos over time. Glue or tape not only damages photos but can make it very difficult to extricate the photos without ripping them. At the Archives, the photos and slides are all stored in special cold room, with a dehumidifier to keep the moisture content low — 55 degrees Fahrenheit and 44 percent relative humidity — to best preserve the photos. Other media are also stored in that protective environment including VHS tapes, cassette tapes, DVDs, and reel-to-reel tapes. About 6,000 of the Archives photos are displayed on Flickr: ( and many photos of Pride are on San Diego State University’s site: sdpride.sdsu.

edu. All of the 100,000 photos will not be digitized as many are very similar to others in the collection — for example, 16 shots of the same contingent in the Pride parade or of the same group of Mr. Leather San Diego contestants at the same bar, who have barely changed poses from one shot to the next — but a few of the best photos from each group are selected for digitization and the rest noted. The Archives has a handful of pictures of gay couples or groups going back to the 1940s and 50s including some of drag queens and sailors shot in a gay bar (most likely Bradley’s or the Brass Rail) in 1946. Fun photos of some wild nights in the bars are also in collections including “Arabian Nights” at the lesbian bar Diablos; drag shows and Coin Laundry and Professional leather nights at Mr. Dillon’s; Fluff & Fold Service and good times at Different at a price everyone can afford! Drum. There are hundreds of photos of Front Runners Free WiFi, through the years; of the Workstations, Dixon Six and their attempts Flat screen TVs, to save their Naval careers from a witch hunt on their an, Lounge Area The Cool, Cle o Fluff + Fold Pricing ship; early AIDS Walks (ind to Fun place cluding when it still called Residential: 15lb. min. the Walk for Life); Pride when Fri.-Mon. $1.19 p/lb laundr y it was still a protest march Tues.-Thurs. $1.09 p/lb and people felt compelled Commercial - 25lb. min. to wear paper bags on their $1.09 p/lb heads to conceal their identiMilitary w/ID - 15lb. min. ties; and other protests from $1.00 p/lb Act Up to Proposition 6 and le cyc sh wa Every Proposition 8 battles. is sanotyzed Donations of local LGBTQ history are always welcome with Ozone (619) 795-9588 at the Archives, even if that 1955 El Cajon Blvd., SD, CA, 92104 Fresh Water history was just the fabulous parties you used to throw in your living room in 1985. And the Archives could also use the public’s help in identifying some of the thousands and thousands of photos for whom context and the people involved are a mystery. Anyone We are seeking experienced, motivated interested in helping sort and advertising sales consultants for our six label photos, or with photos to community newspapers. donate, can get in touch with archivist Ken Selnick at 619Must be knowledgeable of these areas and 260-1522 or KSelnick@gmail. have a minimum of one year advertising com. sales experience. The ideal candidate is an

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—Lambda Archives, a 501(c) (3) dedicated to collecting, preserving and teaching the history of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in San Diego and the Northern Baja California region, is located at 4545 Park Blvd., in University Heights. To learn more, stop in or visit their website at


GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

did. Unfortunately, when she’s mad at her wife, her wife often doesn’t know it. My client is so afraid of “turning into my dad” that she goes to the opposite extreme. Not helpful. A wise, older friend of mine says, “Men need to learn how to cry and women need to learn how to be angry.” It’s a generalization, for sure, but is there some truth to it? I recommend that we all learn how to admit when we’re angry and work constructively with that anger. Sometimes this means talking about it with someone. Sometimes it means that you work it through internally. My Buddhist friends tell me that they are encouraged not to project their anger onto other people — instead, to work through it on their own. This is possible, but not easy. I know that I’ve tried it and, after many years, sometimes I can do it on my own, but often I can’t. For those of us who can’t, we give it our best shot and forgive ourselves when we explode and let someone have it.

If you can, work on your anger internally (inside) before taking action. If you blow it, you can always apologize … but you can’t take your words back. And angry words can leave a scar that lasts a very long time. Anger tells you, “Pay attention! Some boundary of mine is being crossed.” Notice what boundary that is. Anger fuels many constructive national movements. As LGBT people, many of our forefathers and — mothers took the anger generated by homophobia, racism and misogyny and used it to begin movements that brought us the civil rights we have today. Don’t turn your anger back on yourself. This causes depression. You need to do something with that anger, don’t let it sit there and make you miserable. One research study I read showed that resentment is strongly linked with the manifestation of cancer in the body, particularly in women. Louise Hay used to say that anger, when held in, “eats away at the body”.

Don’t let your anger eat away at you, mentally or physically: acknowledge it and take action. I am excited to offer two workshops in the upcoming weeks: I’ll help facilitate a “Men’s Retreat: Sex, Love and Intimacy,” May 4-6, at Camp Cedar Glen in Julian. I’ll be part of a panel as we explore and integrate different aspects of sexuality into our lives and our spirituality. For more information, go to I will also facilitate an all-day workshop in Sierra Madre Developing Intimate Relationships on June 23. Are you afraid to be vulnerable? Is this stopping you from letting people really get to know you? If so, would you like to change that? Learn more at

the coffeehouses we frequented our own community center. I’ve been thinking a lot about those coffeehouse days recently because it seems like Hillcrest is buzzing with coffee shops again. So many new cafes have opened up recently, including JoyBrewed, Lestat’s, Subterranean, The Kouch, and of course Better Buzz, which opened to much fanfare. While all of these venues are fantastic, what seems to be different is the human interaction. Almost

every table is filled with people using laptops or electronic devices, and very few people are interacting outside of the group they may have come with. I couldn’t imagine going into a coffeehouse today to meet new people. I more than anyone am a huge fan of electronic devices, social media and the like. It has given us a way to connect with others in new ways that we never could before. But as I reflect on those days just about 20 years ago, I long for

Healthy anger Life Beyond Therapy Michael Kimmel I often ask clients, “What do you do with your anger?” Some people are surprised by that: they’ve never really thought about it. Let’s think about it now. Healthy anger is normal and okay. It’s not a bad thing and it doesn’t mean you’re out of control. It’s a part of a normal, healthy life and we would be wise to figure out how to make it work for us, e.g., how can you express your anger in a way that improves your relationships with others? That’s what I call “healthy anger.” Picture this. A mild-mannered IT consultant finds himself increasingly “frustrated” (his words) at the unrealistic timetables his boss gives him

for projects. He also gets “irritated” at colleagues who interrupt him during the workday. Yet, when I point out his anger to him, he denies that he’s angry. Isn’t it ironic how we don’t want to admit we’re angry, like it’s some great weakness? So, instead, we come up with all sorts of euphemisms like “annoyed” and “frustrated.” Anger is anger, whether you acknowledge it or not. Pretending you’re not angry when you are is destructive. You’re lying to yourself, which makes it hard to deal with the reality of what’s going on. Anger that’s denied has a tendency to build, like a volcano. Then, one day, you explode over some little thing and wonder why. Many of us were raised to avoid or deny anger: one of my clients had a rage-a-holic father, and she vowed that she would never lose control like he

Coffee houses, a saving grace Back Out with Benny Ben Cartwright When I first came out as a gay teenager in 1997, it was the coffeehouses in Hillcrest that introduced me to the community and my first gay friends, and really, provided an amazing outlet for me to connect to the community. It seems like coffeehouse culture was thriving in the mid- to late ‘90s and before the mass advent of cell phones, laptops and other electronic devices, people actually came to these venues to meet, connect and talk. The Living Room Coffeehouse, previously located at 1419 University Ave. — next door to what is now Baja Betty’s — was one of the most popular coffeehouses in town. On any given night, the place was packed with people of all ages hanging out, playing games and having spirited conversations. I rarely missed a night out at The Living Room and made countless friends, many of whom I’m still in contact with today. My good friend Fernando Lopez, who now serves as executive director of San Diego Pride, often

shares the story of his struggles with homelessness as a teenager. During that time, he too found his way to The Living Room and it was there that we met. The story is always better told by Fernando, but because of this connection we made at this important place, he was able to briefly move in with me to get back on his feet, and he has thrived ever since. I have countless stories of connections and friendships made, fun memories and traditions from these days. In fact, these coffeehouses were a saving grace for so many of our LGBTQ youth at the time. While the San Diego LGBT Community Center and other organizations have some pretty incredible youth programs and services today, LGBTQ youth programs were limited back then. When I came out, we were still five years away from the opening of the Hillcrest Youth Center, and it seemed that many youth — unless they were connected to a school group — had little to no resources. In fact, at that time, I only knew of two high schools in the entire county of San Diego that had LGBT student groups, which were called Gay Straight Alliances at the time. We made


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—Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia. Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit those evenings where I would just be hanging out on a couch at The Living Room, sipping a mocha and suddenly making five new friends.

—Benny Cartwright is the director of community outreach at the San Diego LGBT Community Center. He can be reached at 619-692-2077 ext. 106 or outreach@thecentersd. org. Note: Byline photo by Rob Lucas Modern Aperture Photography.t

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

Vice President Mike Pence is on my radar, wonder why? ‘Mike Pence is about to change my position’ By Mark Segal

Guest Editorial

Creep of the week: Donald Trump By D’Anne Witkowski Hundreds of thousands of people, young and old, took to the streets on March 24 to protest the despicable fact that the U.S. allows its children to be gunned down at school on the regular. Emma Gonzalez, the Parkland senior dismissed by Republican Leslie Gibson as a “skinhead lesbian,” gave a powerful speech at the March for Our Lives in Washington D.C. which included a prolonged moment of silence. Paul McCartney marched in New York, telling a CNN reporter, “One of my best friends was killed in gun violence right around here. So, it’s important to me.” And countless more people marched all over the country and even the world to protest the prioritization of guns over human lives in America. And Donald Trump heard them loud and clear. He did what any true leader would do during this time of national crisis. He responded to this clarion call with (drumroll, please) a ban on transgender troops! What, did you think he was going to ban guns? Yes, our coward in chief, a man who has never served in the military (though he called himself “a great and very brave solider” for dodging STDs in the '90s. “It is my personal Vietnam,” he really said), has once again told trans troops to GTFO, again. You might remember that Trump tried doing this already and was sued. So, while that first attempt is EDITOR Albert H. Fulcher (619) 961-1960 CONTRIBUTING EDITORS (619) 519-7775 Sara Butler, x118 Jeff Clemetson, x119 EDITOR EMERITUS Morgan M. Hurley CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rick Bratz Ben Cartwright Michael Kimmel Lambda Archives staff Jean Lowerison Neal Putman Nicole Murray Ramirez Frank Sabatini Jr. WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA Sara Butler, x118

still being fought in court, the Trump administration decided that a good ol’ trans troop ban was needed to distract from the nation’s school children refusing to be used for target practice, and Anderson Cooper’s interview with porn actress Stormy Daniels about her sexy time with the so-called president. It’s disgusting, really. No, not the idea that Daniels might have dick pics. I mean, yes, that’s sick, but not as sick as telling Americans in uniform that they aren’t fit to wear their uniforms. The new ban is basically a blanket ban on trans troops. If you’ve ever been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, you’re out. If you’ve gone through any kind of gender transition, you’re out. The good news is, if you’re trans but you stay in the closet about it, you’re allowed to serve as your biological sex dictates. According to James Mattis (who is at the time of this writing the Defense Secretary, but by the time this goes to press it could just as likely be Dr. Strangelove), trans troops “undermine readiness, disrupt unit cohesion and impose an unreasonable burden on the military.” Which is some bullshit. Trump has whined in the past about the “tremendous medical costs” associated with trans troops. I wonder if he’s considered the tremendous medical costs that will be associated with the troops he and John Bolton want to send into war with North Korea and Iran. Probably not. Trump, who doesn’t think very deeply about things because — let’s face it — he COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich

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can’t, doesn’t see transgender people as, well, people. He sees them as an episode of some kind of surgical reality show on TLC where the focus is all on medical care and not so much humanity. There’s this idea that if America lets transgender people into the military then all transgender people will flock to the military in order to get “free” gender affirmation surgery. Which is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. First of all, anyone who has ever served in or read a book about the military (Trump has done neither) will tell you that service members don’t get anything for free. Service members offer to give the ultimate sacrifice: their lives. And while we talk the big talk of taking care of our troops, we don’t actually do a great job of it. If you’d like a shining example, do a Google search for “homeless veterans.” So, if someone is willing to serve in the military, especially under this completely unqualified and dangerous commander in chief, the least we can give them is the health care they need. Call your elected representatives and tell them that you stand with trans troops. And then call the White House and ask Trump how his bone spurs are doing. —D'Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBT politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.t

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DISTRIBUTION Gay San Diego is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2018. All rights reserved. PUBLISHER David Mannis (619) 961-1951

Is Vice President Mike Pence a closeted, deep-in-self-hate raging homo? Is that selfhate so intolerable for him that he’s become the commander in chief at the White House in pushing the most homophobic agenda since McCarthy’s un-American hearings in the 1950s and the George W. Bush anti-gay marriage re-election bid? When they witness a rabid homophobe, many people in our community believe that they’re acting out due to their own sexuality issues. I’ve never subscribed to that point of view, but Pence is about to change my position. Like you, I’ve heard the rumors that he went through conversion therapy, and that’s why his wife is almost attached to him at the dinner table, but I’m still not completely won over to this view as yet. But hey, I’m getting there. In my years of activism, I’ve dealt with almost every kind of political being and their position, both pro and con, but never have I seen a man so full of hate trying to push an anti-LGBT agenda in almost every department in the federal government — as though it were personal. Guess I could prove the point by listing all the anti-gay Republican elected officials who work against our community, but that list is longer than my column allows. But maybe a few to refresh your memory: The former Alabama Attorney General Troy King, former Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, a gaggle of congressmen such as Mark Foley … and that would only be the beginning. We know the homophobic push in the White House is driven by Pence since we’ve heard it in the president’s own words. Pence was the one who brought in some of the most homophobic people in the administration. Trump has no ideology, so he gave Pence the crumbs he wants for being his lap dog, and Trump also gets brownie points with his right-wing base. Someone I’ve worked with worked for a while in the Trump White House, so I asked him about my theory. All he would do was roll his eyes. There was a “Saturday Night Live” joke that went like this: Donald Trump looking around after everyone in a room talks about all his misdeeds, and they suggest that he might be impeached. Trump responds, “That’s why I picked Mike Pence as my vice president; he’s my insurance policy.” Jokes aside, insurance doesn’t matter. Either way, the LGBT community is screwed. —Mark Segal, PGN publisher, is the nation’s most-award-winning commentator in LGBT media.t

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018


Rainbow flag, National LGBT Wall of Honor, and vodka honoring our community pioneers, trailblazers and heroes and will be dedicated on June 28, 2019 during the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. About 3 million LGBT people, friends and allies are expected to be in New York City to celebrate this 50th anniversary. This historic project is by the International Imperial Courts Council of the U.S., Canada and Mexico. This past weekend, I met with Kurt Kelly, the owner of the Stonewall Inn, and we selected the wall and the construction will probably begin in January of 2019. Our very own Senate President pro tempore Toni Atkins and Assembly Democratic whip Todd Gloria served on the wall's National Advisory Council, whose membership includes some of our nation's most prominent LGBT leaders, activists, and elected officials. This wall will be one of my top priorities for the next 15 months.

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Started in Pennsylvania and under scrutiny from the LGBT community, black and brown stripes have been added to the historic rainbow flag in representation of the LGBT black and Latino population.

Conversations with Nicole Nicole Murray Ramirez Rainbow flag ... black, brown, white stripes

Recently I was at a major LGBT event and a huge rainbow flag was on stage with a black and a brown stripe added to it ... many concerned LGBT came up to me upset with the two stripes and asked me what was going on with these changes in our rainbow flag. Well, it seems that some LGBT Pride organizations on the East Coast have decided to add the black and brown stripes for the LGBT black and Latino communities. Well to be blunt, I absolutely disagree with this action and I am not the only gay person of color that disagrees. In my opinion, if we are going to add black and brown stripes we should add a white stripe for our LGBT brothers and sisters who are Caucasian. In 1978, Vietnam War veteran, designer and, yes, a drag queen performer Gilbert Baker created a rainbow flag for our LGBT community. I knew Gilbert who recently passed away ... in one of our many discussions these last decades, I remember he told me he never wanted the flag he created to ever change because it stood proudly for all of us. When Jesse Jackson ran for president, I was a strong supporter and even had the honor of introducing him at a California rally. He also spoke at our 1987 Gay March on Washington. Jackson is the founder of the Rainbow Coalition and as an AfricanAmerican leader to this day has never added the black stripe to his organization's

rainbow logo. The rainbow flag has always been an understood representation of all of our community ... every one of us. So those who are pushing to add black and brown stripes ... well then, I say add the white one too and I say this as a proud gay man of color. And while we are on this subject, first we were homosexuals, then gay, then gay and lesbian, and then bi-sexual and transgender. OK, but now some activists are pushing and using the acronym LGBTQQIA which they say stands for: lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex and allies. Yes, you read right, LGBTQQIA. In my opinion, this is getting way out of hand.

The great people of Stoli Vodka, who have been long time supporters and official sponsors of LGBT events and causes for decades are now giving its financial support to the Harvey Milk Foundation in a major way. This past Saturday, I joined Stoli's LGBT popular and hardworking National Brand Ambassador Patrik Gallineaux on the stage of the Broadway Ballroom at the Marriott Marquis Hotel for the official announcement and unveiling of a special, limited-edition run of vodka to benefit

National LGBT Wall of Honor

I just returned from a fiveday visit to New York. As many of you know, I am the chairman of the National LGBT Wall of Honor to be established in the historic Stonewall Inn in New York City. This wall will be

The National LGBT Wall of Honor at the Stonewall Inn is headed by the International Imperial Courts Council of the U.S., Canada and Mexico

Nicole Murray Ramirez at the historic Stonewall Inn (Photos by Nicole Murray Ramirez)

the important work and programs of the Harvey Milk Foundation for global LGBT equality. Stoli is celebrating the 40th anniversary of Harvey Milk assuming office as the first openly gay elected official in California. The first limited bottle went to the Harvey Milk Foundation and the second was auctioned off Saturday night for more than $5,000! The bottle design is by world-acclaimed artist Oz Montania. As a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation, I can Stoli Vodka introduces its Harvey Milk Limited tell you that the Edition to support work and programs of the work, leadership and hope that global human Harvey Milk Foundation for global LGBT equality. rights activist Stuart Milk and the Harvey Milk from the prestigious San Diego Foundation do around the Press Club. Reach Nicole at world not only changes lives, but saves lives. Thank you, Stoli, for your support. Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this column —Nicole Murray Ramirez are the author’s own and by has been writing a column since no means reflect or represent 1973. He has been a Latino/gay the opinions of the staff and/ activist for almost half a centuor publisher of Gay San Diego ry and has advised and served and/or its parent company, the last seven mayors of San San Diego Community News Diego. Named the “Honorary Network (SDCNN). The newsMayor of Hillcrest” by a city paper and its staff should be proclamation, he has received held harmless of liability or many media awards including damages.t



GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018


PATHWAYS Recently, I was able to speak with Carrillo over the phone about his book’s findings, during which we discussed the men’s access to Hillcrest and the impact of our community’s cultural assumptions of them. The interview – which will be published in two parts over this and the following issue of Gay San Diego, begins with the men’s experiences back home. Rick Braatz | RB: I want to start at the beginning of your book with the story of Maximo. He had gay friends back home. In some ways, his home became a clubhouse of sorts for him and his queer friends. But he felt he couldn’t be out to his family or at work. He came to LA and later to San Diego. You say his experience was emblematic of many of the other gay Mexican immigrants you interviewed. Can you explain that for a bit? Hector Carrillo | HC: Part of what happened to them is that they had become comfortable developing a gay life to some extent, even when they were not completely open in the sense that we think of the coming out model. Nonetheless, they felt that they were out because they had a kind of gay society that gathered in homes or private gay spaces. You know, in the large cities [in Mexico] there are lots of institutional gay spaces, like clubs, etc. But in other places, it was more a network of gay

(Photo courtesy Hector Carrillo)

men that gathered in homes and other places. Maximo’s home was the one of the places where all his gay friends came. He had the advantage that he lived alone. But what he didn’t feel comfortable doing was

being fully out, the way that we think of being out here, including at work and with his family. A lot of men like Maximo didn’t see a contradiction between being out as gay men and not being fully out as gay men. (RB) One of the chapters in the book is about how the gay Mexican immigrants you interviewed found gay San Diego. What it made me think of is the issue of access. Depending on the men’s prior experiences with gay culture back home, some had an easier, while others had a much more difficult, time to access Hillcrest. Do you think such gayborhoods could be more accessible to gay immigrants? (HC) Well they could, and let me just say that part of what explains the difference had to do with their lives in Mexico. You also have men like Marcelo, who I spoke about extensively, who had really developed a fully gay life in Mexico. Men such as Marcelo often had made contact with gay men in the U.S. sometimes through the internet, sometimes by coming as tourists, etc. and knew about Hillcrest. It was very easy to find Hillcrest [for them] because they already had what I call the ‘gay capital’ to arrive directly. As you pointed out, it was different for those men who thought of themselves as gay and had a gay life back in Mexico but for whom the idea of a gayborhood was really foreign. They didn’t have access to information about Hillcrest while in Mexico and many of them arrived in Mexican San Diego. And as you can see in some of the stories, it took them quite a while before they discovered Hillcrest. Now to your question, what could be done to make that access more available? Well

in the book I discuss the role of cultural ambassadors. And I think an expansion of that notion could be interesting. Meaning the efforts of the San Diego LGBT community to actually create a little bit of a welcoming bandwagon for immigrants by providing information that might give them the access outside of Hillcrest. So instead of just saying “we have Hillcrest,” “This is where it is” and “you find it and then you’re in,” but to actually reach out to LGBT people who might be elsewhere in the city with information, with campaigns, with ways of saying, “There is this thing that exists for you where you can come and be gay.” And there were some efforts like that sometimes through HIV prevention programs but perhaps not enough. (RB) Your book also describes how once the men found gay San Diego, some encountered assumptions for how they should enact their sexuality or sexual identity. I’m thinking of the one man who went to the San Diego LGBT Community Center for therapy and who was subtly, implicitly directed by not one but two therapists to follow the traditional gay, white male, coming out pathway. He wanted to have a wife and to have her accept him as a gay man. [After receiving therapy, the man went through a crisis before he rejected his initial goal and followed his counselors’ advice]. Can you talk about some of these assumptions?

see Pathways, pg 15

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DINING OutServe-SLDN joins forces with The OUT Foundation OutServe-SLDN — the nation’s oldest and largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) military organization — has teamed up with The OUT Foundation in production for the Murph + OUTWOD Challenge. This national fundraiser for the LGBTQ military community will be held on Memorial Day, May 28. “We are thrilled to finally have an opportunity to join forces with The OUT Foundation,” said Kai Blevins, OutServe-SLDN’s director of Education, Chapter & Veteran Services. “One-hundred percent of the proceeds raised through this fundraising campaign will be funneled directly into our programming services, enabling our organization to continue to support and advocate for the entire LGBTQ military and veteran community, as we work towards an equitable and just system. At a time when our community, and particularly our transgender siblings, are under attack in the military and across the nation, this campaign affirms what we know to be true: we deserve to live healthy lives, free from discrimination.” “Our partnership with OutServe-SLDN is something I am so proud to be a part of,” said Will Lanier, The OUT Foundation’s executive director. “The dedication that both of our organizations have to our community is unwavering, and this initiative is a testament to that fact. Now, more than ever, we must come together as a united front to protect the rights and lives of every single human in the LGBTQ community. We honor those who have served, those who currently serve, and we want to foster the future service members with the strength and tenacity to proudly serve their country.” In addition to raising awareness about the LGBTQ military and veteran communities, the Murph + OUTWOD Challenge pays tribute to an LGBTQ servicemember killed in action earlier this month. Christopher “Tripp” Zanetis, a OutServe-SLDN member, was lost in Iraq after the helicopter he was in crashed into some power lines. “Tripp was a brave and kind soul, always looking for an opportunity to help out the person next to him,” said Andy Blevins, OutServe-SLDN’s Law & Policy director. “An avid ‘CrossFitter’ himself, we can think of no better way to honor his legacy than by encouraging our entire community to participate in this challenge — for LGBTQ servicemembers and veterans, for our dear friend Tripp, and, most importantly, for themselves.” This campaign comes in the midst of LGBTQ Health Awareness Week and follows intensive work from both organizations, focused on raising awareness for physical and mental health-related resources for the LGBTQ military and veteran communities. The health awareness week focuses on the cycle of discrimination and disparity that the LGBTQ community faces with respect to their physical and mental health, when compared to their straight and cisgender counterparts. Participants will receive an exclusive Murph 2018 shirt, 30 days of free training, inclusion on the leaderboard and more. Learn more and register now at

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GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

American explorers Theater Review Jean Lowerison Wikipedia lists some 24 female American explorers, so it’s a bit of a headscratcher why playwright Jaclyn Backhaus chose to write a play about John Wesley Powell’s all-male trip down the Colorado River to the Grand Canyon and call for a female cast. But the result is on display in “Men on Boats,” directed by Melissa Coleman-Reed and playing through April 22 at New Village Arts in Carlsbad. It’s billed as a comedy, and it’s certainly played that way. After all, it’s easy to poke fun at men and their silly (to women) need to swagger around and dominate anything not previously claimed, even to put their name on it.

For my money, though, exploring an unknown river that can as easily kill you as carry you to your destination is no laughing matter, nor is being reduced to eating snakes — or less — for dinner. These 10 “men” are hard-driving, harder-drinking guys of varying capabilities and personalities and the willingness to take rough conditions and bad (if any) food for granted. Five are Civil War veterans. None had any experience with whitewater navigation. Only six would return. Several of them would end their lives drunkards rather than celebrated explorers. New Village Arts artistic director Kristianne Kurner plays Powell, the one-armed (but always upbeat) expedition leader, surrounded by a diverse group of nine, who begin their journey in Wyoming with four small boats.

“Men on Boats” runs through April 22 at the New Village Arts in Carlsbad

“Men on Boats” Now through April 22 New Village Arts 2787 State St., Carlsbad. Thursday and Friday at 8 p.m. Saturday at 3 and 8 p.m. Sunday at 2 p.m. Tickets: 760-433-3245 Milena (Sellers) Phillips is great as Powell’s grumpy older brother (and fellow Civil War vet) Old Shady. Samantha Ginn, always a welcome presence, is a hoot as the cook Hawkins. New arrival Nancy Ross is fun to watch as the scrappy Dunn, who thinks he should be leading this expedition. Joy Yvonne Jones plays mapmaker Hall with quiet dignity. Brianna Dodson brings energy to the role of the young Bradley, and recent UCSD grad Paloma Dominguez impresses as the upbeat Sumner. Tiffany Tang amuses as Goodman, the lone Brit, who quickly tires of this adventure and decides to leave the group: “Fearing for my life twice in one week doesn’t bode well for the rest of my trip.” Powell suggests he take Goodman to a Ute township he knows, saying they could point Goodman to a nearby Mormon settlement.

“Men on Boats” is a comedy about John Wesley Powel’s all-male trip down the Colorado River with an all-female cast. (Photos courtesy of New Village Arts) Melba Novoa and Tamara McMillian play the Howland brothers OG and Seneca nicely, and also get a hilarious turn as wry, near-hippie Ute Indians, who respond to Sumner and Powell’s questions with interjections like “Wow” and “That’s so chill.” Christopher Scott Murillo’s set is necessarily simple – the rough terrain is indicated by tall movable reddish pillars representing the steep cliffs, but it gets the job done. Elisa Benzoni has designed authentic-looking costumes, and Sarah Schwartz’s lighting is effective. But the star of the production team is Melanie Cole Chen, whose spectacular sound design adds immeasurably to the goings-on. “Men on Boats” is, of course, a misnomer, since we see neither men nor boats onstage, and the only suggestion of water is portrayed in rear-screen projections. The actions of rowing, shooting rapids, going over

waterfalls and even capsizing is pantomimed. But the real problem with this production comes in the harrowing moments when they go over a waterfall or shoot rapids. Everybody screams, but let’s face it, women scream in a higher register than men. Ten women screaming at once equals way too much screeching for my tired old ears to take. Perhaps the ladies could be talked into yelling in a lower register. You get used to it after a while, but I still couldn’t escape the nagging “Why?” that plagued me throughout. Though “Men on Boats” will never be a favorite of mine, Coleman-Reed is to be congratulated for wrestling this unruly piece into some semblance of a play. —Jean Lowerison is a long-standing member of the San Diego Theatre Critics Circle and can be reached at

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Hidden treasure in Hotel Circle Restaurant Review Frank Sabatini Jr. I’m guessing that 95 percent of the local population has never heard of Seaglass Restaurant. And here’s why. For starters, it’s tucked away in the Doubletree Hotel by San Diego Hilton, which is partly obscured by large trees at the west end of Hotel Circle South. If you do happen to momentarily spot the circa-1971 structure while whizzing down Interstate 8, there’s nothing about it that really jumps out. Secondly, the restaurant is a recent reinvention of Panini Grill & Bar, so there still isn’t a website for it, let alone any presence on Facebook, Yelp or Google. However, that will change in the next month or so, according to the Seaglass’ Food and Beverage Director Shauna Aguirre. And then there’s the fact that San Diegans generally don’t patronize hotel restaurants unless they have friends and relatives staying at them. But exceptions should maybe be made in this case — the food is seriously good, parking is free and easy, and the face-lifted property has begun selling day passes to the public for use of its swimming pool, where customers can enjoy full food and beverage service. There’s also some history here. The famous Butcher Shop steakhouse resided in this exact space from 1972 to 1986, before moving to its current home in Kearny Mesa. Sadly, recent renovations did away with the last vestiges of the Frank Sinatra-type restaurant, which I’m told were red velvet panels adorning the front and back of the bar.

The new look is clean and sleek, albeit an offshoot to the hotel’s refurbished lobby that was designed with a safe, corporate touch. A historical nod, however, is given to Albie’s Beef Inn, the iconic restaurant and lounge that operated down the street for 53 years until closing in 2015. Seaglass pays tribute to the former eatery with the Albie’s French dip sandwich. I could barely contain myself when biting through the buttery roll and into layers of the thinly sliced house-roasted beef inside. The meat was supremely tender and completely gristle-free. The jus served alongside for dipping was a tad weak in flavor, but I didn’t care because the accompanying horseradish sauce gave the sandwich all the perk it needed. Dare I say, it was better than the French dip I ate a few times at Albie’s. My sister visiting from the Chicago area joined me at Seaglass. She was initially skeptical about eating there, assuming we’d be subjected to banquet food served in some outdated mauve-colored dining room. With neither being the case, we learned there’s an executive chef and a pastry chef in place, and that nearly everything is scratch-made: soups, sauces, flat bread, pizza dough and even the bar syrups used in a variety of contemporary cocktails. The house salad with raspberry vinaigrette featured spinach leaves that were properly de-stemmed and tasted uber-fresh, as though they were plucked from the soil moments before we dug in. Our server told us the produce is locally sourced. The jumbo medley also featured ripe strawberries, candied walnuts and creamy bleu cheese crumbles. We ordered the Caesar salad as well, a straight-forward

Seaglass Restaurant 1515 Hotel Circle South (Mission Valley) 619-881-6900 Dinner prices: Soups, salads and small plates, $8 to $16 Pizzas and flat breads, $15 to $18 Burgers, sandwiches and tacos, $14 to $19 Entrees, $13 to $32 composition of crispy, chilled hearts of romaine strewn with coarsely shredded Parmesan cheese and garlic-kissed croutons — a respectable Caesar with no deviant surprises. A snappy lime-cilantro vinaigrette cloaked five large shrimps and seeped into a bed of outstanding cabbage-apple slaw accented with tarragon. Everything jived with the chary pith of the flame-grilled shrimp. We agreed the appetizer was constructed with same finesse as any you’ll find in hyped-up restaurants. I don’t ever recall ordering pizza from a hotel restaurant — until now. We chose a 16-inch pepperoni pie that offered a refreshing change of pace from the thin, cracker-like crusts served everywhere else. It was neither thick or thin, but rather the medium-girth that pizzerias of yesteryear commonly made — and with quality cheese and sweetish red sauce that also tasted nostalgic. Many items at Seaglass are fairly new, such as New England clam chowder, corn

Seaglass Seaglass Restaurant resides inside the Doubletree Hotel by Hilton on Hotel Circle South. (Photos by Frank Sabatini Jr.) elotes, shrimp scampi, flat breads, several burgers, and prime rib, which serves as yet another tribute to Albie’s. One of the carryover dishes from Panini Grill is a tempting turkey panini constructed with rosemary ciabatta, herbed mozzarella and breast meat roasted in-house. There are also tacos and quesadillas — obligatory chow for those overnight guests rolling in from places devoid of Mexican cuisine.

With the first phase of the hotel’s remodel completed, renovations to the rooms and outdoor areas are slated to begin in the next two months. —Frank Sabatini Jr. is the author of “Secret San Diego” (ECW Press), and began his local writing career more than two decades ago as a staffer for the former San Diego Tribune. You can reach him at t


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GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

This year’s food theme at the San Diego County Fair is centered on unicorns (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

Saffron Thai on India Street will open a bigger, second location near downtown La Jolla by early summer (Courtesy of Saffron Thai) The long-established Saffron Thai in Mission Hills is branching into La Jolla by late June in place of a former Chipotle Mexican Grill. The new digs will be significantly larger and feature the restaurant’s famous salad rolls, grilled chicken and stirfried noodles along with additions such as Thai tacos and curry wraps. The expansion comes just over a year after Saffron founder Su-Mei Yu partnered with local hospitality firm, Karina’s Group, which operates Karina’s Mexican Seafood, Savoie Italian Eatery and Karina’s Ceviches & More. 1055 Torrey Pines Road,

Culinary vendors for this year’s San Diego County Fair (June 1 through July 4) have been asked to create “unicorn food” to tie in to this year’s fair theme: “How Sweet It Is.” According to the fair’s public information officer, Annie Pierce, dishes on tap so far include rainbow grilled-cheese sandwiches; unicorn cotton candy ice cream sandwiches; and unicorn “crack” fries with caramel drizzle, sea salt, Fruity Pebbles and Pop Rocks. Also in the pipeline are unicorn beef sundaes and unicorn burgers. Their specs, however, remain a mystery. Pierce adds that fair-goers can expect all of the outrageous, fried foods as well, although a list of those items won’t be finalized until sometime next month. The annual fair is held at the Del Mar Fairgrounds, 2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd., Del Mar, 858755-1161,

events @THeCenTeR Thursday, April 19


Senior Art Group: Drawing and Painting

LGBT Military Support Group 6-7:30 pm, The Center

1:30 pm, The Center Artists and emerging artists of all skill levels gather together weekly to enjoy the warm camaraderie of other like-minded artist. This is not a class, each artists learns from one another. Bring the medium of your choice. Explore your innner artist, everyone is welcome. For information, please contact LaRue Fields at 619.692.2077 x205 or

Wednesday, April 18

Bi Coming Out Group 7-8:30 pm, The Center Join The Center’s discussion group on bisexuality on the third Wednesday of every month. It’s a welcoming space to share your experiences, ask questions, discuss community issues and meet like-minded people. This group is open to all persons who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to more than one gender. For more information, contact Aaron Heier at The San Diego LGBT Community Center 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 Twitter: @LGBTCenter

Fleet and Family Support Services and AMPA’s LGBT Military Support Group is open to all LGBT Active Duty Service Members and their families. Third Thursdays of the month. For more information, contact Caroline Bender at 619.545.3615 or

Thursday, April 26

12th Annual Dining Out for Life® San Diego Take a break from pingpong, cornhole and other recreational activities with meats grilled by Chef Hanis Cavin during his Carnitas Snack Shack game day. The event will be held from 3 to 7 p.m., April 21, at the North Park location. It will feature a host of games in the eatery’s back patio, where Cavin will cook from an outdoor grill and smoker. Customers can place their food orders at a nearby table rather than the walk-up window. The meals will feature a main protein plus a couple of side dishes for an average price of $10. Wine and craft beer will also be available. 2632 University Ave., 619-2947675, carnitassnackshack. com.

Chef Hanis Cavin presents games and meat in North Park (Courtesy of Carnitas Snack Shack)

The San Diego LGBT Community Center’s 12th annual Dining Out for Life is April 26. Restaurants, bars and coffeehouses taking part donate between 25 and 100 percent of their day’s profits to The Center’s HIV/AIDS services and prevention programs. This year’s participants — about 75 in total — stretch from Downtown to Oceanside. They include: Cowboy Star (lunch and dinner); Hundred Proof (any meal); The Mission (breakfast and lunch); Babycakes (breakfast, lunch, dinner, desserts and cocktails); Gossip Grill (any meal); Blind Lady Alehouse (dinner); The Wine Pub (dinner); Kensington Cafe (breakfast, lunch and dinner); Hello Betty Fish House (lunch, dinner and cocktails); Burger Lounge in Hillcrest, Kensington and La Jolla (lunch and dinner); and more. Joining the crop of vegan establishments that have sprouted up in San Diego over the last several months, such as Anthem in North Park, O.B. Garden Cafe in Ocean Beach, Starry Lane Bakery in Hillcrest, and Donna Jean in Bankers Hill, is Soulshine in Mission Beach. The newcomer offers plantbased takes on Indian, Asian, Mediterranean and American A variety of internationally inspired dishes. Heading the kitchen is vegan dishes await at Soulshine Mike Feil, an Alpine native who (Courtesy of Amalia Huffman) attended the Culinary Institute of America and worked at restaurants in San Francisco, Idaho and Maui. He was also a chef at Casa de Luz in North Park and Trilogy in La Jolla. The restaurant was launched recently by Amalia Huffman. She also owns the nearby Barefoot Bakery (3852 Mission Blvd.), which sells vegan, organic and gluten-free items such as scones, muffins and biscuits. Beginning in about a month, her bakery will also sell cakes by advance order. 3864 Mission Blvd., 858-8867252,


The Center’s Dining Out For Life® San Diego


Don’t miss The Center’s 12th Annual Dining Out for Life® San Diego! On Thursday, Dine out for breakfast, lunch and dinner on Thursday, April 26, 2018, and support April 26, dozens of participating restaurants, bars, The Center’s HIV/AIDS services and prevention programs. coffeehouses and nightclubs in San Diego will donate a minimum of 25% of sales for The Center’s HIV/ AIDS services and prevention programs. Delicious, right? Grab your family and friends and make plans to Dine Out and Fight AIDS for breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, cocktails and more! View the full list of participating locations at Media Sponsors

Refreshed curb appeal and new brunch service at Beerfish (by Kevin Jackson) With fresh exterior signage in place, Beerfish in North Park recently debuted weekend brunch, which runs from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays. Chef Lety Gonzalez marks the occasion with dishes such as lobster breakfast burritos, multiple versions of eggs Benedict, and cornmeal biscuits with Old Bay-spiced gravy. The regular lunch-dinner menu is available on those days starting at noon. 2933 Adams Ave., 619-263-2337, —Frank Sabatini Jr. can be reached at AUTO SALES


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GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

Friday, April 13

Transgender Day of Empowerment – Join The Center in celebrating the rich diversity of San Diego’s transgender community at Trans Day of Empowerment. This year’s program will include trans speakers, entertainment, refreshments, community awards and scholarship announcements. This event is free from 6–8 p.m.

Saturday, April 14

Front Runners and Walkers North County – North County LGBTQ Resource Center’s Front Runners, the international group for gay and lesbian runners and walkers, meet weekly to walk/run in the seaside community of Carlsbad at 9 a.m. You do not have to be a member of Front Runners to join in the fun. Meet up at 259 Beech Ave., Carlsbad. Pride Youth – Join the Lunch Brunch from 11 a.m.–2 p.m. Come hang out at the San Diego Pride office with other LGBT junior high- and high school-aged youth. Lunch and beverages are free thanks to San Diego Ambassadors of the Trevor Project, so no need to pack a lunch or bring money. Come out, hang out, meet other queer kids, make friends and have a good time. Get connected to other youth-serving programs and help Pride plan youth-centered events at the year’s Youth Zone at Pride. Teachers, parents and youth, help spread the word by downloading the Lunch Brunch flyer ( and passing it out to someone you know who might want to go. For questions, contact Josh Coyne at

Sunday, April 15

Reign XL Inauguration – The Imperial Court de San Diego invites all to the Reign XL Inauguration and Royal Gala as Prince Royal Robert Rodriguez and Princess Pepper Price step down and hand their title over. Tickets are $25, which includes a buffet. You can purchase tickets from the candidates Kaiden Akers-Montana, Mama Cass and Lenette Morales. Held at Rich’s Nightclub, 1051 University Ave., Hillcrest, doors open at 4 p.m. For info, call Tom: 619-933-6430; Ajax: 858-395-7171 or Linny: 619403-1858.

Monday, April 16

Oil and Vinegar 101 – Leave all your preconceived ideas behind and experience Vom Fass products with a new and fresh prospective. Through a variety of delightful dishes, the staff will guide you through the exciting flavors and offer insights into the popular Mediterranean diet and explain how these products are not only delicious, but also essential to a healthy lifestyle. Spots are limited so sign up today. $15 per ticket. You must call prior to the class to register: 859331-1986. Vom Fass, 1050 University Ave., Hillcrest.

Tuesday, April 17

Hillcrest Comedy Night – Martinis Above Fourth presents Hillcrest Comedy Night with Jaleesa Johnson. Celebrate a night of comedic diversity with locally acclaimed stand-up comedian Jaleessa Johnson. Also included are special performances by Dave Callans, Tatiana Cwilinski, Russell Brock, Andrew Tarr, Jeffrey Berner and headliner Jesse Egan. Show is $10 per person and begins at 8 p.m. 3940 Fourth Ave., Hillcrest.

Transgender women of color, especially black/AfricanAmerican and Hispanic/ Latina women, experience disproportionately high rates of HIV. There is a gap in research on HIV and transgender men; few studies have gathered HIV prevalence data for this population. Please join a live Facebook feed from The T-Spot from 8 to 9 a.m.

Thursday, April 19

‘You Were Never Really Here’ – See a hard-edged thriller starring Joaquin Phoenix as Joe, a brutal and tormented enforcer on a rescue mission. Unafraid of violence, the traumatized veteran ruthlessly tracks down missing girls for a living. But when one of his jobs trying to save a politician’s pre-teen daughter from a sex-trafficking ring goes wrong, Joe’s nightmares overtake him, and a conspiracy is uncovered, leading to what may be his death trip or awakening. Phoenix was honored with Best Actor at the Cannes Film Festival. Playing April 14–19. Landmark’s Hillcrest Cinemas, 3965 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest.

Friday, April 20

Wednesday, April 18

Glitz & Glam – Lips’ Friday night shows are filled over the top with over-the-top glamour. Big hair, high heels and a lot of duct tape. Hosted by Tootie, there are two shows at 6:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. There is a $10 cover plus $15 food minimum per person. Reservations are required. Lips, 3036 El Cajon Blvd., North Park.

In the U.S., it is estimated that around 1.4 million adults identify as transgender. Transgender women are at high risk of having HIV and of contracting HIV.

Lost in Wonderland dance – Mar Vista High School Gay Straight Alliance, in conjunction with South Bay Pride, present “Lost in Wonderland” glow-in-the-dark district-wide dance. Held at MVH’s new gymnasium from 6–10 p.m., 50 percent of profits go to the True Colors Fund to help end homelessness in the LGBT community. Tickets are on sale at your local ASB, $10 presale and $15 at the door.

National Transgender HIV Testing Day – Observed each year, beginning in 2016, this day is an opportunity to focus on HIV testing, prevention, and treatment among transgender people. It encourages local testing events and testing campaigns to increase HIV status awareness in transgender populations.

Saturday, April 21

Laces & Lashes Ball 2018 – Start your engines for the fifth annual Laces & Lashes Ball hosted by Vicky Vox, featuring a special guest performance by Mariah Balenciaga from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” season three and “RuPaul’s Drag U.” Come early for the red-carpet event and cocktail hour in the Rich’s front room at 5:30 p.m. Showtime starts on the Rich’s main stage at 7 p.m. Rich’s San Diego, 1051 University Ave. Hillcrest Community Clean Up – Join for an Earth Day 2018 collaborative community cleanup. Meet at Florence Elementary in the staff parking lot on the corner of University Avenue and Front Street at 9 a.m. Sign up at and select Hillcrest Street Sweep site. For more information, contact Heidi Callahan at or 619-840-4755. Midnight Madness – Join Landmark Theatres Ken Cinema for a Midnight Madness showing of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” featuring live shadow cast Crazed Imaginations. Ken Cinema, 4061 Adams Ave., Kensington.

Sunday, April 22

Sunday Funday Game on Brunch – Gossip Grills’ Sundays start off with its Sinful Sunday and Game on Brunch from 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Walk of Shame Bloody Mary comes with all the fixings including a mini cheeseburger and bacon, and also comes with a PBR tall boy and a shot of Jack Daniels. It also features Bottomless Bubbles or Sparkling Roses for $12.50. Play some giant, oversized games to get your game on, including Jenga, Connect Four, Uno and Yahtzee, all jumbo of course. Pool, pingpong, soft-tip darts and board games area also available. Keep Sunday Funday going with happy hour from 2–6 p.m.

Monday, April 23

Trivia Night – Here’s Johnny! Trivia at 7 p.m. with five to seven rounds of questions. Hosted by Johnny


1 Scott of “American Beauty” 7 Subtle difference 13 Wonder Woman's people 15 Drag queen's application for lids 16 End of an SNL quip: “I may not be very good on camera, but ___” 18 IRS data 19 Actor Robert and family 20 South Beach's Miami-___ County 21 Lesbians in training, e.g. 23 More of the end of the quip 27 More of the end of the quip 32 Really queer 33 Phallic fish 34 Overwhelm with sweetness 35 Boobs 40 “Atlas Shrugged” author Ayn 41 Smith of “Dawson's Creek” 42 Peruvian friends of Maya Angelou? 43 “Would ___ to you?” 44 Layers over Scarlet's petticoats? 47 Some of them are gray

50 What a man may be made of, in Oz 51 Theater whisper 55 End of the end of the quip 56 Offspring of a queen 57 Betsy, who was spoofed in the SNL quip 58 Words before were 59 Dr. Weaver portrayer Laura 61 Pinball wizard foul 62 “Evita” lyricist Tim 63 Bernstein manuscript, e.g. 64 Tubbies' prefix 65 Harlan Greene's “What the ___ Remember” 66 The brainy bunch 67 Fruit-flavored ice cream maker

Tuesday, April 24

Women’s Discussion Support Group – Every last Tuesday at the North County LGBTQ Resource Center from 6:30–8 p.m. North County LGBTQ Resource Center, 3220 Mission Ave. Suite #2, Oceanside.

Wednesday, April 25

Free vaccinations – Stop by The Center from 3–6 p.m. for a free vaccination clinic. San Diego County will be offering vaccines for hepatitis A and the flu. If you joined last year for the first round of hepatitis A shots, make sure to stop by for your booster. Everyone is welcome. Call 619-692-2077 ext. 0 for more information.

Thursday, April 26

Free2B Celebration – Join Debby Holiday at her “Free2B” Celebration CD release party at Martinis Above Fourth at 8 p.m. Debby Holiday broke onto the dance scene with her #5 Billboard summer anthem “Dive” in 2004, followed by the smash hit power ballad “Half A Mile Away” that shot into the Billboard Top 10. Holiday has written with a wide range of today’s top songwriters and continues to pump up the volume. Currently, her single “A Love Bizarre” with Russ Rich and Swishcraft is burning up DJ floors worldwide. Dining Out for Life – Don’t miss The Center’s 12th annual Dining Out for Life San Diego. Dozens of participating restaurants, bars, coffeehouses and nightclubs in San Diego will donate a minimum of 25 percent of sales for The Center’s HIV/AIDS services and prevention programs. Grab your family and friends and make plans to Dine Out and fight AIDS for breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, cocktails and more. t



Grant, there are raffles, prizes and team challenges. The Brew Project, 3683 Fifth Ave., Hillcrest.

solution on page 13 DOWN 1 Nickname for Streisand 2 Iowa State city 3 Madeline of “Young Frankenstein” 4 Shooters from the land of the cut 5 Chaney of silent films 6 McArdle once of “Annie” fame 7 Egyptian lake namesake 8 The NCAA Trojans 9 Served perfectly, to Mauresmo 10 “Peter Pan” pooch 11 Acceptance on the street, in slang 12 “___ On Down the Road” 14 Places for commercial intercourse 15 Kind of blitz 17 Lang. of Queen Esther 21 Bridal bio word 22 Sch. for Rev. Spahr 23 Make fun of 24 Noel but not Coward 25 “Take ___ leave it!” 26 Playfully insulted with wry humor? 28 Alanis, who played a doctor on “Weeds”

29 Russian river 30 “___ Get a Witness” (Marvin Gaye) 31 David ___ Pierce 35 Pose for Diana Davies 36 Example 37 Kate, who portrayed Betsy in the SNL skit 38 O'Keeffe and Bonheur 39 Ga., once 45 Milk, so to speak 46 Abe Lincoln's boy 47 Sarah Paulson's Emmy for playing Marcia Clark, e.g. 48 LGBT rights activist O'Donnell 49 Kane in “All My Children” 52 Covered with vines 53 Say hello to her on Broadway 54 Rob of “Melrose Place” 59 Suffix with homoerotic or sex 60 Where you work in the Navy


PATHWAYS (HC) Yes, but that was perhaps the most dramatic example and the one that really helped me do that analysis, the story of Venustiano. Venustiano was someone who, where he lived in Mexico, knew there were a lot of gay men who married women as a sort of a way to lead a double life, of being gay in one part of their life but then pretending to be heterosexual with their families, etc. He didn’t want to do that. He was very worried about affecting the life of a woman that he would marry not for love but for other purposes. But then he started thinking, “Well how would I do this in a way that doesn’t affect them?” The U.S., in his view, was more sexually liberal. “Why don’t I marry


PASTOR DAN He has performed samesex weddings and was part of the planning committee for the Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast. In lieu of birthday gifts, Koeshall said he would rather request donations to MCC. There will be a card receptacle at the Center for Koeshall. “It's not only a joyous celebration of Dan's 10 years as senior pastor, but also of how far

either a lesbian or a straight woman who would actually like to be with a gay man but openly.” Now, we know there are people who are in those situations in the U.S., you know who are self-identified gay men who marry women for a number of reasons that have to do with family life, children, etc. And so he personified that model. But what I found intriguing was the degree to which in our gay communities we have also created particular pathways that become normative and when someone tries to come up with an alternative model, it makes us uncomfortable, which I think is what happened to him when he went seeking counseling at The Center. The counselors he interacted with there really felt like, “Oh you’re wrong. You shouldn’t really be looking for a woman. You should become a fully open gay man!” And the irony is had he we have come during a decade of his imaginative leadership: purchasing our own building, paying off its mortgage, creating new guiding documents of our beliefs, core values, mission and vision, and bolstering our outreach into the community,” said Lee Bowman, the minister of administration at MCC. For groups who may wish to sponsor a table or more information, please contact —Neal Putnam is a local freelance writer. Reach him at

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pursued what he wanted and found a liberal woman who wanted a gay man and married her, he would have actually achieved citizenship in a formal way, at a time when same-sex marriage was not yet a possibility in the U.S. In the second part of this interview, which will run in the next issue of Gay San Diego, Carrillo will speak about the men’s interracial attraction, issues of power in their relationships, the men’s impact on the local LGBT culture, and how they related to the Latin lover stereotype. —Rick Braatz is a sociologist, social worker, journalist and a former editor of Gay San Diego. He can be reached at

GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018



GAY SAN DIEGO April 13 – 26, 2018

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Gay San Diego 04-13-18  
Gay San Diego 04-13-18