“Some decisions have been hard, some have hurt myself and others, but I’m grateful for them.”
That brings us to where we are now, the morning of June 11th, sipping a coffee and writing. Allié, shared one of my eclipse photographs on Instagram and added such a simple line and posted it to her story. Allié captioned the photo with… “and then the moon seemed to say and smile ‘I've been watching over you all this while’”. It instantly brought tears to my eyes and simply overwhelmed me. I thought about my initial diagnoses with MS, waiting in a hospital ER by myself after jut going through my first MRI and being told there were signs indicative of MS. I thought about the 20+ MRI’s since then, the endless appointments, the countless vials of blood draws, and infusions. Other than a literal handful of times (that I could count on one hand), these have been alone. Have I had to do all of these things alone? Doubtful, but my stubbornness, pride, and fear of being seen as a burden can be stronger than even my fear of being alone. We are all products of the decisions that we’ve made throughout life, our situations are also a product of those decisions.
I tend to pursue the proverbial breadcrumbs that life has randomly thrown down for me, following what feels right on the inside regardless of how bizarre the decision may appear on the outside. Those decisions have brought me to where I am, what I’m doing, and what I deal with. Do I regret the decisions and path I’ve taken to get here? It’s been a difficult, uncertain and sometimes scary road, but no, I don’t regret it. Some decisions have been hard, some have hurt myself and others, but I’m grateful for them.
When we think about gratitude, we tend to look at, and reflect on, the better things in our lives, the roof over our heads, the health of family & friends, our jobs, our opportunities, etc., but what about the things that aren’t considered positive? Health that isn’t perfect, the hurt we’ve been dealt and the hurt we’ve dealt others, loss of friends or family. Where we are right now, and who we are, is a culmination of everything that we’ve dealt with in our lives. The good & bad, the ugly & beautiful and everything in-between. These circumstances and choices that we’ve made throughout have led us to where we are at present. Knowing that past struggles have led me here, and loving what I’m doing, I can’t wait to see what these struggles lead to. ∎
Open Water Swimmer, Photographer & MS Warrior
www.awarenessties.us/jonathan-kohanski Hi, I'm Jonathan, I'm a wanderer of sorts, looking to further enrich lives and share experiences that show we are all capable of truly amazing feats that push my own boundaries and can many times turn heads. I'm a sucker for raw and real stories and attempt to share my own, with all the good and bad through that same lens. I'm always open to finding my next adventure that will help me to continue writing the stories that can help others overcome their own demons. I'm a lover of the water and spend a lot of my free time in it, whether it be swimming, body-boarding, or taking photographs while in it. I was diagnosed with MS at the age of 25 and it has changed the course of my life, not just in a physical sense, but also in my perspective of life, what is valuable to me and worthy of my time. We all have our struggles and triumphs, I'm here to share mine and maybe, help others through theirs.
58 AWARENOW / THE UNITED EDITION