AwareNow: Issue 19: The Source Edition

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Page 49

“It was absolutely terrible for me… to listen to her cries and not be able to just take her.”

Allié: Being a mom is not always easy. In fact sometimes, it’s really hard. For you as a mother with no arms, what has been most difficult?

Sarah: When my baby was a baby… She’s 3 now. So, she’s not a baby anymore. But when she was born, what was really difficult for me was when she was crying in her bed. I needed someone to take her from the bed. It was absolutely terrible for me… to listen to her cries and not be able to just take her… to ask her father to take her and give her to me. He is the father, so of course when he took his baby he would cuddle. I was like, “No, no, no… Just give her to me.” He said, “Yes, but just wait.” But I couldn’t wait. This two seconds were for me an eternity. It was very difficult. This frustration was very difficult at the beginning. When my baby was 4 or 5 months old, I remember she was really crying in her bed. I just wanted to take her, but it was impossible. Her father was busy. I don’t remember what he was doing. I was just looking at her, and I started crying because I really wanted to take her but it was not possible. I had to wait for her father to come in. My baby just looked at me. She stopped crying for a few seconds… because I think she didn’t know that adults also could cry. She just looked at me for a few seconds. Then she started to cry again after. Those few seconds made my think, “Oh my God. I’m crying. My baby is looking at me crying. This for me was the beginning of me saying “Okay, now you have to stop this frustration, because your baby is understanding that you are suffering.”