AwareNow: Issue 19: The Source Edition

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Page 114

A caterpillar has no idea it will transform into a butterfly. It goes with the flow of life. It trusts the process. Maybe for a caterpillar, being in the cocoon is an issue, chaos or a problem. We don't know, but it goes through it and becomes a butterfly. It’s rewarded for its being patience, acceptance, and trust for the journey.

An issue is a cause to start thinking differently for a new effect. This cause is a catalyst for finding a solution, to make you aware of your tools needed for your own cocoon, to prepare yourself and become the butterfly you were designed to be. In a way, it puts you in a survival mode and takes you to the level of awareness that you were not willing to step into with your old skin.

It took me more than ten years to accept who I am as a gay person who is HIV positive. It was my issue. It was my problem. It was my weakness. It was all the reason that I couldn’t feel good enough or feel loved enough by myself or others. During those years, I faced so many challenges that my mind created escapes from my reality by denying who I am, accepting alternate versions of myself but never my real self, putting different masks on and wearing many fake skins, to cover up my true self. I showed myself in a way that felt acceptable for me and for others, as I attempted to to fit myself into different situations - none of which were aligned with who I truly was. It was the creativity of my mind that made my ego happy by playing different roles. I was an actor who played many roles in the story of my life. I was suffering from the person who wasn’t me. I was still a caterpillar who had no idea I was in my cocoon, designed to transform into a butterfly.

It happened because I started to ‘surrender’ to whatever was happening for me. I started to accept that I needed to stay in that cocoon for a while to see where this goes. I was discovering my lights and exploring my shadows in there. I was drawing patterns on my butterfly wings with the beauty of my imperfection in combination with my vulnerability that made me who I am. I started to find the beauty of my presence, the beauty of being true and accepting. It is the most precious feeling that we are all able to experience. It is always aligned with our true self.

Living with issues and challenges does not need to be a ‘scary’ thing. It’s a necessary thing that happens to help us accept and see the beauty of ourselves within. We must first find it inside. Only then can we see it outside.

For some of us, it is painful. For some, it is sad. And for some it is a nightmare. But again,we have a choice. We can choose to believe that we are a caterpillar for the rest of our lives, or we can choose to trust that this transformation will make a beautiful being out of us that was meant to be. We can choose to look at it from different dimensions. We can choose to find beauty and lessons in it, and take the necessary actions. There is always a solution for every situation. There is no lock without a key. Just by becoming aware, we make a key for the lock.

When problems and chaos arise, these are of our own creation. Our soul wants to grow and our higher self is trying to create something that is in alignment with our capacity for transformation. It knows we can fix it and grow from it. Just be aware that is happening ‘for' us, not ‘to’ us. These are all lessons we should take from this life, in order to be ready for something greater… something that shows the power of creation and greatness of our humanity.

Becoming aware and an observer life is the answer to any issue. When we make our mind calm and let the soul lead us outside the box that the mind creates, we find ease and comfort and become aligned with the cause, effect and reason of it all. It is up to us, living in mind’s framework or spirit’s freedom is always our choice. ∎


Artist & Awareness Ties Official Ambassador for LGBTQ+ Awareness I am a creative intuitive artist sharing the universe I see and experience beyond the boundaries of our planet. My creations come from inner awareness that is heart centered and does not rely on analysis or head-based questions. It is a way of creating that reflects the connection into your emotions and responding to what feels right. This intuitive space is a place of trust that opens doors to my imagination that I would never find by reason and sensory perception.