‘SCARRED NOT BROKEN’ EXCLUSIVE COLUMN BY LORI BUTIERRIES
DAYS LIKE THIS
SENTIMENTS IN THE SHOWER Today, I stood in the shower.
I never stand still beneath the spray of the hot water because I don't like to waste time.
Usually, my anxiety about the day's schedule motivates me to hurry up and get out.
Today, I did not listen to music as I bathed.
I never wash in silence because I can't bear to be alone with my thoughts, so I sing to drown out the voice in my head trying to make me think about things I'd rather not.
Today, I took a minute to truly feel.
I never really let myself bask in the pain because I hate feeling vulnerable, but the tears were a much-needed release.
Today, I stood still, in the silence, and let the pain wash over me.
I didn't enjoy the experience, but sometimes days like today are necessary. ∎
Author, Navy Veteran & Mother of 2 with Special Needs www.awarenessties.us/lori-butierries Lori Butierries is a full-time caregiver to two children with special needs, one child being terminally ill and physically disabled. Lori uses her life experiences and the medical knowledge she gained while serving as a Hospital Corpsman in the United States Navy to help others facing similar hardships. Lori focuses primarily on advocating for and educating others about the special needs, mental health, and veterans communities. Her long-term goal is to reduce the stigma associated with disability by talking about it with people of all ages, thus minimizing the fear and the mystery attributed to the unknown in this regard.
33 AWARENOW / THE MAYDAY EDITION