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NOVEMBER 4, 2011

mirror staff


Friday, Nov. 4

Fall Band Concert Brandon Valley Performing Arts Center 7:30 p.m.

Saturday, Nov. 5

Outdoor Program, Orienteering Great Bear, 10:30 a.m.

Monday, Nov. 7

Outdoor Program, Hike Great Bear, 5:30 p.m.

Tuesday, Nov. 8

Anatomy of Hate - A Dialogue to Hope Kresge, 6 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 11

Explore Augustana 9 a.m.

Veterans Day Worship Chapel, 10 a.m.

The Boe Forum: Mary Robinson On Tuesday, Nov. 9, the annual Boe Forum will host the former President of Ireland Mary Robinson. Tickets are free. The event begins at 7:00 p.m. in the Elmen Center.

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+WV\ZQJ]\QVO;\INN Rachid Azouaou • Taylor Dickinson • Chandra Howard • Robert Mikhayelyan • Alan Thompson • Kadyn Wittman

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Letters to the Editor



U.N. Says 7 Billion Now Share The World – Feeling claustrophobic? You’re not alone. According to United Nations demographers, 6,999,999,999 other Earthlings potentially felt the same way on Monday when the world’s population topped seven billion. But if you’d rather go by the United States Census Bureau’s projections, you’ve got some breathing room. The bureau estimates that even with the world’s population increasing by 215,120 a day, it won’t reach seven billion for about four months. How do the dueling demographic experts reconcile a difference, as of Monday, of 28 million, which is more than all the people in Saudi Arabia? They don’t. “No one can know the exact number of people on the globe,” Gerhard Heilig, chief of the population estimates and projections section of the United Nations Population Division, acknowledges. The New York Times, Oct. 31, 2011 Halloween: Deadliest Night For Pedestrians – SIOUX FALLS, SD - Halloween is not all fun and games with candy and costumes. “The sobering fact is that Halloween night, October 31st, is the deadliest night for pedestrians,” AAA South Dakota spokesman Mark Madeja said. This is due partially to kids being out in the dark with dark costumes and no reflective gear. Glow sticks and reflective gear could make the difference when keeping kids safe Halloween night. “Parents really can do smart things with costumes that they wear like weave in fluorescent pieces and other things like glow sticks are great and flashlights. As long as motorists can see a pedestrian, a child, that’s really, really good,” Madeja said. Another tip for parents, if you’re not going trick-or-treating with children, make sure you’ve talked about their route. “Making a plan with your kids is a really good thing to do too. Tell them exactly what the route is they are going to be taking and that is acceptable to you,” Madeja said. Keloland News, Oct. 31, 2011 Cain Calls Harassment Issue a ‘Witch Hunt’ – Herman Cain called the accusations of sexual harassment against him “a witch hunt” and said he had been falsely accused while he was the head of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s. Declaring at the National Press Club that he “would be delighted to clear the air,” Cain said that he was unaware of any settlements paid to his accusers – an assertion he appeared to contradict in an interview later in the day. “It was concluded after a thorough investigation that it had no basis,” Cain said to questions by Mark Hamrick, the president of the press club after Politico first reported on the allegations. “I am unaware of any settlement. I hope it wasn’t for much, because I didn’t do anything.” But later, in an interview with Greta Van Susteren on her Fox News show, “On the Record,” he said “there was some sort of settlement or termination” but “no big settlement.” In the press club remarks, Cain said that he had “recused myself” during the investigation into the charges made by the women. He derided the report in Politico as being based on “anonymous sources.” “We are not going to chase anonymous sources, when there are no basis for the accusation,” Cain said. “I have never sexually harassed anyone and those accusations are totally false.” The New York Times, Oct. 31, 2011

youtube this. [Celebrity Alphabet by Jim Meskimen]




IV O T M [ The iPhone killer

brand of the overarching Android platform and represent Android BY ROBERT MIKHAYELYAN phones made specifically for Verizon’s network. The Android platform These newest phones, has seen one of the most like the Droid Bionic or tremendous growths of Droid Razr, can truly be any other smartphone. called iPhone killers. Since Android’s incepFirst, we must look to tion it has always been the stagnation of iPhone compared to the iPhone, development. With every often being called the release of the next iPhone “iPhone killer” whether it there are only minor deserved it or not (let’s be changes (with the excephonest, the G1 was a great tion of the Apps update), start but by no means ca- sometimes in the form pable of a market stomp- of hardware (like a faster out). processor) or in terms of Early versions of An- software (like the ability droid had quirky design to finally be able to send and strange color schemes, MMS). but now Android is hitting These developments its stride in its newest in- take an entire year, as carnation with the Droid that’s the release cycle of series. the iPhone. Additionally, Droid phones are a subSmartphones have become a mainstream aspect of many people’s lives just in the last couple years. Chances are that if you don’t own a smartphone, you know a family member or friend that does. When choosing a smartphone you face many options, more than 40 different phones are available at Verizon, but in most cases it boils down to the iPhone or an Androidbased phone. There are two main aspects to look at when deciding: hardware and software. Phones that run Google’s Android software are made by many different companies and they range from modest to ultra high-end. Motorola’s latest phone, the Razr, has specifications that rival some low-end computers and netbooks. It also has 4G connectivity, which allows the phone to connect to the Internet quikcly. The main advantage of the Android software is its openness. Almost every app submitted to Google for the Android software

system is approved automatically with barely any oversight. The shortcomings far outweigh the benefits though. Since every manufacturer produces their own handset, they alter the base software to be compatible with their handset. This creates discrepancies between each phone, which then causes apps to run incorrectly or not at all on some phones. It isn’t necessary to talk about hardware and software as two different topics with the iPhone. Since Apple produces both aspects, they are made to work seamlessly with each other. This fact is often overlooked when talking about the iPhone and I believe it is one of its greatest assets. The iPhone is no slouch in hardware specifications, but in truth sometimes it falls behind Android phones in true power. However iOS, the software on iPhones, iPods and iPads, is what really outclasses Android phones. iOS is so fluid in its de-

due to the nature of the minor updates, there isn’t a whole lot that’s different between the iPhone 3G and the iPhone 4S. This means that the platform doesn’t see any real change or any real innovation. Apple’s claim to fame with the iPhone 4S this year was that it had a faster processor and that they improved their voice control services. These are things that Android has had for quite some time. This brings us to the pace of development of Android. Instead of waiting until the next year for a faster processor or new features in the operating system, users only have to wait (at most) a couple of months. Because multiple manufacturers create Android and Droid phones, they compete better than Apple is even capable of. Every month a new

Best smartphone choice sign and operation that it makes the whole user experience simple. For example, when web browsing, the iPhone gives you the full webpage to view. As often occurs on a device with a small screen, you probably need to zoom in on the web page to read everything. The iPhone provides you with a smooth, responsive zoom process. This sounds trivial, but when trying to zoom on an Android device, it is often choppy and difficult to get the exact size you want. It is this attention to detail throughout the iOS software that really sets it apart. And let’s not forget the over 500,000 apps available through iTunes in the App Store compared to the 100,000 of the Android market. The iPhone has a much more established app store and therefore more devel-

The Wor l d in Perspect ive By Ted May

Droid phone is released with better processors, screens and even wireless communication (the iPhone 4S is still technically a 3G phone). Voice features have been around for Android since its early versions, and are much more robust and accurate due to Google’s extensive development of the technology. The Droid Razr is already 4 times faster than the iPhone 4S according to Motorola and will be upgrading to the newest version of Android early next year. There’s no telling what next month’s phone will be capable of. In the end Apple will lose the long term game to Google in the same way it lost to Microsoft in the personal computing market. More manufacturers means more competition, leaving Apple outnumbered.



Droid vs. iPhone: Can you hear me now?


opers writing new apps. Developers know what operating system and devices they are writing for with iOS and the iPhone. That is not the case with Andriod, where the operating system becomes fragmented across countless devices and tends to steer developers away. Overall, the iPhone provides a much better user experience than Andriod-based phones. Granted, some Android phones might be “faster,” but the ease and responsiveness of iOS on the iPhone often make the process shorter. All of these reasons make me believe that the iPhone is the choice you should make as your next smartphone.

After last week seeing the Democratic party concern itself more with Harry Truman’s defense of his own actions than with a statement of its principles, this column will first present the basic principles of the Republican party before discussing last week’s charges. The first principle is a faith in the individual man, in his ability to govern his own life, make his own decision, and achieve well-being on his own. More specifically, this means that a person does not need a withholding tax to help him with his budget, nor does he need a handout or a dole to help him survive. In cases where real hardship or suffering exist, then relief should be available, but it should come from the states, not from the federal government. Confidence in individual initiative must be foremost. Secondly, the Republican party believes in minimum government intervention in the economic life of the nation and the removal of the government from fields of private enterprise; this in marked contrast to the Democrat view which, since the days of Franklin D. Roosevelt and his advisors (Tugwell, Morgnthau, Wallace, Gen. Hugh Johnson, etc.), has called for a planned economy. The Republican party holds, as the 1948 platform declares, that the American free-enterprise system is the “mainspring of material well-being and political freedom.” The Republican party also holds a respect for the rights of the fifty states, as guaranteed to them by the Constitution and its tenth amendment. We believe that such things as education, aid to the infirm, and other problems of a strictly intra-state nature should be left to the action and resources of the states. This area is one of the ones most greatly abused by the Democrat advocates of big government and big spending. The Republican party is convinced that these domestic principles, coupled with a strong and vigorous foreign policy and a continuation of our military lead (amassed since the passing of the Truman administration, which was apparently unconscious when it came to missies), can best give stable and democratic government to the people of the United States. As to last week, the “party-of-privilege” versus the “party-of-the-common-man” thesis may well be examined. We notice that the “party-of-privilege” passed the first anti-trust act (Sherman Act under Benjamin Harrison) and first vigorously enforced that act under Teddy Roosevelt and W. H. Taft. On the contrary the “party-of-the-common-man” has had, in recent years, such representatives as Averell Harriman (New York Central), Adlai E. Stevenson (Illinois Central), and now John Kennedy whose family fortune exceeds six hundred million dollars. It is this “party-of-the-common-man” which has gladly accepted not the support of the common man, but of the handful of corrupt labor leaders with their rich supply of “voluntary” C.O.P.E. funds. This has been especially true on the senatorial level, with so-called “purge lists” containing the names of Sens. Goldwater, Mundt, and Curtiss receiving wide circulation. These lists, compiled because these Senators attempted to give the working man a bill of rights and a chance to free himself from the domination of corrupt leaders, may show quite clearly which is the true party of the common man, and which party would raise his taxes, fetter him and his children with debt and increasing regulation, and allow his domination by a small group of crooked labor leaders to continue.

Nov. 3, 1960

The Augustana Mirror




Zombiepocalypse FORUM EDITOR

So I know this installment comes a little late in the season, but that’s something you’ll just have to get over. Otherwise you might miss the gravity of the topic, which I BY HAL THOMPSON know is a failing you’ll most likely never overcome. Whether you’re aware or not, there is an enormous threat looming on the horizon of humanity. What’s most surprising is that so few seem to take it seriously. Luckily for you, I don’t listen to the experts and only believe those who agree with me, which means I’m a reliable source of truth. And it’s because of this shining personal quality of mine that I’m going to do you the favor of warning you about the greatest danger to humankind since Obamacare - the zombie apocalypse. Yes, I’m cereal. Forget the atomic bomb, or some global flu-bug; it’ll be zombies that do us in if we don’t act now. And sure, you may be laughing right now, but trust me, when you suddenly find your arm being chewed off by your longdead grandpa you’ll be doing anything but laughing. But why do zombies pose such a threat to us? Well, for a myriad of reasons, I think the best place to start is with Hollywood. The problem is that people seem to believe that bodies rising from the grave is ludicrous. Or that some virus spreading around the world turning us into rampaging maniacs could never happen.

But woe to him who fills his mind with such doubts. Most likely he’ll be one of the first to go - his mind, quite physically, included. But I suppose that’s just social Darwinism kicking in during the zombie apocalypse. In truth, the fewer survivors there are the more supplies left over for the ones who heeded the warning. But now that I have you at the piss-pants level of paranoia (I do, right?), let me return to the original purpose of this article - your survival. I should warn you, now, it’s not going to be easy. The post-zombie apocalyptic world won’t take kindly to the unprepared. So you have to be ready. You have to be able to unleash your inner Rambo. What follows are some basic tips for surviving after the zombies have decimated humanity. I can’t cover all situations in such a short article, but I’ll try and include the most important information. First, let’s talk weapons. I know when I say this “guns” instantly comes to mind, but it’s not that easy. For one thing, how many of you out there are deadshots? (Possibly more than average considering the locale of the audience presently addressed.) But, that aside, I’m still willing to bet not a whole lot. In this case what you’ll want are numerous heavy, blunt objects. I’m talking baseball bats, cricket bats (look them up) and golf clubs to name a few. Assuming you’re dealing with the basic slow zombie, they’ll come in handy when beating off the horde to make a quick escape. Second, you’ll need a base. Don’t worry; it doesn’t have to be too fancy - a perk of the post-zombie world. But it will need to be easily defended (i.e. few doors, a


good view of the surrounding area). A base is necessary not only as a safety precaution - zombies will definitely outnumber humans - but as a means of temporary storage and respite. Note: I said temporary. The biggest mistake here is believing wherever you’ve landed is impregnable. There is no such thing. The zombies will eventually find a way in, and it’s before that moment that you need to be miles away from there. Third, be ready for some sleepless nights. What makes the zombie apocalypse worse than all other apocalypses is the emotional impact it will undoubtedly have on the survivors. To put it bluntly: you may need to kill everyone you ever knew. I understand, wailing on mom and dad with a bat or pummeling that hot girl in biology class seems harsh, but it’s the reality of the post-zombie outbreak. What’s crucial to remember is that once someone you know is a zombie, they are no longer that person. They’re a piece of meat - a ravenous piece of meat. Also, on a side note, there’s no point in trying to negotiate with zombies or use some other form of progressive mumbo-jumbo. They’ll just end up eating you. As I said, these are just general rules of surviving the zombie apocalypse. They’re not for the faint of heart, but I think that’s pretty obvious. So is there any hope of getting through a zombie apocalypse? Like all things, it really depends (on factors too numerous to list). But I think yes. All you have to do is ignore the experts, like scientists, and always keep a bat close at hand.


One more on the list BY CHANDRA HOWARD Instead of having a “things I would never do” list, I have found it more rewarding to have a “things I never thought I would do, but did” list. I add things to the list after I do them and it’s quite pleasing each time. Once, for example, I went whitewater rafting on the Colorado River. That went on the list as soon as I got out of the water. For those of you asking why that would go on this list - I can’t swim. Anyway, a few weeks ago I got to add something else to the list. I was at Coffea with a couple friends peer editing when a large and intimidating stack of books on a neighboring table caught our attention. “Jeez, that’s intense,” one of us said. “Yeah, I’ll be here a while;” the boy, who the stack of books belonged to, replied. I should note now that I don’t normally talk to strangers, just like we’re all taught when we’re little. For some reason we found it natural here. After a while our peer editing was over and Michelle (one of the people I came with) and I decided

to hang around and finish some of our other homework. If you’ve been to Coffea, you know why sticking around wasn’t a hard decision for us, even if it meant doing more homework. Here’s where I (and probably Michelle, too) leave our comfort zone. Remember the boy with the stack of books? Well somehow we struck up a conversation. We found out his name, his major and the fact that he went to USF (try not to boo, he was a nice boy). As our conversation continued, Christopher (the boy with the books) started to open up to us. As it happens, his biological mother had just passed away and, naturally, he was having a rough time. Christopher probably had to step out of his comfort zone to trust a couple of strangers with the big burden he was carrying. We listened and all the while God’s putting it on my heart to pray for this kid. And when I say pray for him, I actually mean over him - like, aloud. In the coffee shop. With everyone to see. Goodbye, comfort zone. Hello, new zone. At first I’m like, um, no thanks, God. I’ll just pray for him later, in the comfort of my dorm.

Apparently God was tugging on Michelle’s heart too because eventually she brought it up. Then, all of the sudden, I was ready to do it. Isn’t it interesting how God works? I learned that it doesn’t make sense to resist His urge because: a) He will make it happen and b) He’ll provide the nerve, strength, or in this case, courage to go through with whatever He’s asking of us. So the next thing I know, we’re praying for Christopher. Did I mention he’s a stranger? That we had just met him earlier that evening because of an intimidating stack of books? Christopher was so thankful. He was gushing with gratitude, if you will. He was grateful that we listened, that we prayed, and that God brought us together. He wasn’t the only one God blessed with this strange meeting, though. Michelle and I left Coffea feeling uplifted by God’s work through us. We had no idea what Christopher was going through. We didn’t know that he needed prayer and ears. But God led us into Christopher’s life to provide those things, getting our attention with a stack of books. I know that this is something I never would have done on my own because it required leaving my comfort zone. But, thanks to God, it didn’t feel unnatural at all. And, bonus, that’s one more item on the list of things I never thought I would do but did. Score.

What was the best Halloween costume you saw this year? An Apples to Apples playing card. - Casey Ortbahn

A giant iPod. - Kristi Boyle

A zombie Chippendales dancer. - Jeff Burwitz

A homemade stormtrooper with built-in theme music. - Juli Elmer

Voldemort. - Zach Truelson

Compiled by Kadyn Wittman

Forum 11/4  

Forum 11/4