BACK TO SCHOOL PREVIEW YES, it’s time to start thinking about it already!
RETURNING TO THE WORKFORCE SOON? Find out when to show your MOM hand
with your middle-schooler
of raising a SHY child
Is Your Child This Happy At Back-to-School Time?
Does your child enjoy the social aspects of school? Does he form meaningful friendships and participate in extra-curricular activities? Does she participate in clubs, go to proms, join in talent shows? Children at our Private Special Education Schools do! When children feel cherished, well cared for and respected, they learn to share those traits with other students. School becomes a welcoming place where students feel at home and are able to enjoy a social life of their own. With individualized attention, on-site therapies and vocational training, our schools deliver unparalleled services for students with special needs. New Jersey Department of Education certified special education teachers, licensed therapists and counselors provide expert, advanced instruction and support … along with plenty of smiles. These unique services are provided at NO COST for families. Find out if private special education is the right fit for your child. Our staff can help answer your questions. To find out more about what programs may be right for your child, call us at
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Table of Contents pg. 20 Get Organized for the School Year mom 2 mom 8 Do You Baby Your Baby? 10 Eliminating Empathy Deficit Disorder 11 In Defense of Shy Kids: The Benefits of Raising a Shy Child
moms R women 2 12 When Do You Show Your “Mom Hand” In the Interview Process 16 Eyes Hurt at the Computer? 5 Keys to Saving Your Eyesight 17 Age is Just a Number
know 2 grow 24 When Toddlers Say No 25 Re-Connect with Your Middle Schooler 26 Itching for the Facts About Children’s Skin Conditions?
features 18 Eat Together and Share More Than Food 30 But He’s Not Babysitting
also in this issue 3 5 6 23 27 29 32 34 36 37 38
publisher’s note nana’s 2 sense life sentences pop’s culture business spotlight green mama her story just born book review things 2 do resource guide
Dear Readers, hey say dogs are man’s best friend, but I have always disagreed. How could a four-legged creature that jumps and barks and licks and stinks...and barks... possibly be anyone’s best friend? Unfortunately for me, my husband is a dog lover, and has turned my kids into dog lovers too. For years, I have refused to even consider getting a dog. It’s as much work as taking care of a new baby! And if I wanted that, I would just have another child, right? But my husband played dirty and now has my children asking me for a dog. So, exhausted from the years of nagging, I caved. BUT, I insisted that we could get a dog ONLY if we adopted it from a shelter and it had to be a lab…chocolate or black, to be precise. What are the odds of finding that specific dog at the local S.P.C.A.? I entertained them with a visit to the shelter, knowing that we probably wouldn’t find a dog to match my specifications and that we would return home and forget all about wanting a dog. We walk into the S.P.C.A. and make our way down the aisle of dogs in cages. They are all barking so loud, I can’t hear my husband talking to me. What am I doing here??? Within seconds, my husband finds a black lab mix. “What about this one?” he says. “She‘s cute,” I say. We spend some time in a room with the dog. Surprisingly, she’s very well behaved. She doesn’t jump, she doesn’t bark. I actually kind of... like her. Everything after that is a blur and, somehow, we end up adopting her. It was fun shopping for her bed and toys and all the other items a dog needs. Who doesn’t like to shop?! We were all very excited about bringing her home. Now, we need a name for her. Kayden’s top choice of names was “Tree.” Coincidentally, we just happened to be driving
past a group of trees when he suggested that. Camille’s choice was “Castle.” Again, I think that idea came from the local shopping center with “castle-like” features. I suggested a whole slew of names to which each got a big “No!” from one child or the other. Finally, I suggested “Macy” and everyone loved it! We brought Macy home on a Friday and the first night was great.The next day, we went to the park and took her for a long walk. By Sunday, I was a bit annoyed that we had to rush home from church to let her out to potty. And by the end of Monday, after I had been home alone with her all day, I had had enough. I’m trying to be patient, as she is only four months old. But she chews on everything, she cries when we leave the room and she peed in her crate (which I was told a dog wouldn’t do). I have to take her outside constantly to go to the bathroom and keep my eye on her every second. I just don’t have time for all this, nor do I really want to do it. I know some of you dog lovers are scoffing at me right now. I’m sure I will grow to love her and things will get better as she gets older. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Your Friend and Fellow MOM,
LOVE THE OUTFITS ON OUR COVER? You Can Get Them For Your Child Too! The cover outfits were provided by TheYellowCottageBoutique.com, a fabulous children’s boutique specializing in trendsetting and sophisticated designer fashions for babies, girls and boys. You will find both American and European collections with an amazing selection of dresses, newborn layette and gifts. They are fashion forward with previews of the upcoming fall and holiday season before they even hit stores! With unsurpassed customer service and personal shopping, they are committed to dedicating themselves to ensure a truly unique experience and to “Make Their World Beautiful”! Everything at TheYellowCottageBoutique.com is of utmost standards. If it doesn’t turn heads, they don’t have it! August 2010 | 3
Touring SJH MaternityCare at home made me feel _______. When I was deciding where to have my baby, I wanted a hospital that would deliver her my way. That’s why I went to SJH MaternityCare. They offer tons of options—including traditional and water births, midwife deliveries, aromatherapy and more. During my V.I.P. tour they showed me how they would make everything just how I want it. They also showed me the gorgeous, private labor rooms. Plus there’s a specialist ready 24/7 if my baby needs special care, and a quality group of
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Call 1-888-SJH-WOMAN today to schedule your FREE V.I.P. tour, or visit www.maternitycaretour.com
Camden County Cultural & Heritage Commission Historic Hopkins House 250 South Park Drive Haddon Township, NJ 08108 2010 Children’s Patio Programs 10:30am & 11:30am 2 exciting programs every Wednesday in August August 4—Magic Show The Magician, Ken Northridge, will present an age appropriate magic and comedy show complete with live rabbit, live doves and lots of audience participation.
August 11—Sister Moonsong Weaving wonderful African and Native American folk tales, art and culture that will delight, educate and inspire young people of every age.
August 18—The Puppet Lady Jacqueline Cocozza will teach young people how to create their very own puppets, while sharing the rich history of Italian Puppetry.
August 25—Flamenco Guitar and Dance Workshops for Children By the D’Aprile Family, sharing the history, geography and exciting culture of this delightful Latino art form.
Please call 856.858.0040 to reserve your space. All events are FREE. 4 | August 2010
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Publisher/Editor: Adrienne Richardson firstname.lastname@example.org Editorial Associate: Jeanette Giza email@example.com Advertising Inquiries: Orin Jespersen • 856.690.5565 firstname.lastname@example.org Dianne Holland • 856.278.6119 email@example.com Elaine Petrosino-Roehm • 856.404.3127 firstname.lastname@example.org
General Advertising Info: email@example.com Copy Editor: Gaily Von Schlichting Production Manager: Lisa Celfo firstname.lastname@example.org Communications Manager: Esther Donnelly email@example.com Photographer: Lisa Ward Photography www.lisawardphotography.com Contributing Writers: Laura Amann, Barbara Berman, Vicki Brackett, Brian Fountain, Thomas Haller, Christa Hines, Kate Hogan, Fran LoBiondo, Chick Moorman, Renee Taylor Negin, Michele Ranard, Gwen Recinto, Kathryn Ross, Shannon L. Sadler, Liz Sheffield, Martin Sussman, Sheila Taney Submit Calendar Listing: firstname.lastname@example.org Letters to the Editor: email@example.com For Any Other General Information: firstname.lastname@example.org www.southjerseymom.com South Jersey MOM is published monthly and distributed throughout the region. The publication is available free of charge at select locations. Subscriptions $24.99 per year.
nana’s 2 sense
and Spaghetti Bowls ometimes I just have to get away. It helps me get a better perspective on life; get around folks with a different outlook. I arrived in Nevada to find I not only needed a map, but a traffic translator. New Jersey has jug handles and circles; Nevada has rainbow curves and spaghetti bowls! And don’t jay-walk. The police there will punch you in the face. I saw it on the local news! One thing I know is the same everywhere. Parents love to talk about their children. Wherever I go, I brag about my children and grandchildren. Then I mention South Jersey MOM magazine and parents gush forth with stories about their children’s successes. Then we get into the trials and tribulations of raising those children. That’s when we share the hard times, sad times, disappointments and heartbreaks. We laugh and, sometimes, cry together. Did I mention that these are mostly the mom conversations? I recently met two dads from opposite ends of the country who very much love their children. I was a bit surprised to find that, while these two dads are different in most every way: ethnically, culturally, marital status, age and personality, they have a lot in common. Milton is 34 and married with two sons, 6 and 10 years old. Their lives are centered on God. Milt is dedicated to education and doing the best job he can to prepare his children for life. They do not watch television, but do read and watch select videos at the local library. After speaking with his wife, he set the phone
down on the table and shook his head. Whenever he is away, mom lets the kids stay up really late. He believes they should be in bed at a regular time, even during the summer. They need routine and a healthy amount of sleep. Hank is 60 and divorced. He raised four daughters and not only knew from the start that he wanted to have children, but had a specific plan from beginning to end for raising them. He says raising children is like planting a garden. You need to nurture them from seed to fruit. You must have everyday interaction with your children. Divorce—shared custody—a home divided—does not work. He believes we should all strive to be educated, contributing members of society, helping others to do the same. And, by the way, sex education is simple—keep your pants on. It seems talking to dads about their children is very different than talking to moms about their children. Or maybe dads talk differently to other dads about their children. I’ll have to do some eavesdropping to find out for sure. Now, I understand and commend these dads on their dedication to their children and society…world peace through education…but hey, everyone needs a little break. Let ‘em stay up late now and then and eat popcorn and watch TV.
Nana Jean is a South Jersey grandmother with two daughters and six grandchildren. Enjoy her stories about her 38+ years as a mom and 19 years as a grandmother as she shares her experiences and lessons learned with lots of laughs and tears along the way.
All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is not permitted without the authorization of the publisher. South Jersey MOM P.O. Box 2413 Vineland, NJ 08362-2413 TM
856.692.MOMS Fax: 856.405.6794
On the COVER “Cutest Kid in Town” Contest Winners: Jada & Vanessa of Vineland are 5-year-old twins. They are very excited about starting kindergarten in September. They both do gymnastics and ballet/tap class and enjoy playing with their Barbie dolls (which they have a ton of), playing with their cousins, Rachel, Madie and Scotty, as well as spending time in their pool. Photo by Lisa Ward Photography. Taken on location at Serene's Custard and Golf, 2336 N. West Blvd, Vineland. Outfits supplied by TheYellowCottageBoutique.com.
] August 2010 | 5
Which is Crazier, Chaos or Control?
et me just start by telling you about my morning. I had not slept deeply, but I had an appointment at 9 a.m. That meant getting two children ready by 8:45. One was up at 6:45, doing laps around the kitchen table with his iPod plugged into both ears, smiling, eyes pointed to the angels above, tuned in to a rarified sphere that only the innocent can hear. He is a big guy. His feet are 4W, quadruple wide, and when he moves to the music, it sounds like war drums beating in the hills. He is happy, but if I donâ€™t come downstairs soon, he will greet me with a goodmorning head-butt. The other child was burrowed down into her covers; windows open behind the blinds, overhead fan on â€œwhip,â€? humidifier cranked up high, even though it was not moistening the air because the tank was out of water. Again. This child had chosen not to face morning until her alarm played its electronic reveille, which it did not because she forgot to set it. Again. When I finally wrench her from a determined slumber, it is late and she is in a rage, and itâ€™s all my fault because I didnâ€™t wake her up.
I think these children are gems, I really do. They are funny and sweet. But sometimes I do wonder what planet they are from. Iâ€™ll give an example. I met my sister on a Sunday to have lunch and shop, and my daughter, out of boredom, came along. We were in the dressing room at L.L. Bean, waiting for my sister to try on a shirt. My 11-year-old imp started swinging on a garment rackâ€”with wheels. â€œHey Mom,â€? she said. â€œThis thing really moves. Push me around!â€? â€œHoney, get off that thing. If the saleslady comes in and yells at you, youâ€™ll feel awful.â€? She hopped off, but then she said something that chilled me: â€œNo I wonâ€™t. I feel absolutely no guilt. About anything.â€? Thatâ€™s it, the difference between me and my girl. For years I have wondered: what can I do to make her clean up after herself? Why is this child so defiant? How can I make her cooperate? The Beatles wrote a song about our relationship: You say yes, I say no you say stop and I say go go goâ€ŚI donâ€™t know why you say goodbye I say hello.
No guilt? Totally foreign concept. I wake up every morning berating By Fran LoBiondo myself for some shortcoming. I fall asleep counting my inadequacies. When bad things happen, like the tsunami in Asia, I feel I should apologize. The stress is killing me. Yet my child repels guilt like a shield of steel deflects flaming arrows, and sheâ€™s happy. Maybe Iâ€™m the crazy one. I am going to stop picking up her shoes and start walking in them. I want to enter the house, drop my bag in the middle of the floor, eat the last cookie and leave the box out. Pour the last of the milk, drink only half and leave the empty carton in the fridge. Blame someone else and go watch TV. Who says you canâ€™t learn from your children? Fran LoBiondo of Vineland has children in grade school, high school and college. A Purdue University graduate with a degree in Journalism, she has written about parenting, food and fun for 25 yrs.
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mom 2 mom
Do you Baby your Baby? By Kate Hogan
few weeks ago, I was having lunch with a friend of mine (letâ€™s call her Jane) and some of our kids. My five and threeyear-olds were with me, and Jane had her sixyear-old. Lunch was going well; the kids were occupying themselves, so Jane and I were able to engage in some much needed adult conversation. About half way through lunch, I noticed how Jane kept hand feeding her son, so I made a comment (we go way back and keep one another in check.) Jane just smiled sheepishly and said, â€œI knowâ€Śheâ€™s my baby.â€? I just nodded and visually patted myself on the back as I watched my two perfect angels eat their lunches independently. As we were walking to our cars, my back started to ache so I switched my three-yearold â€œbabyâ€? to my other hip. Suddenly, it hit me! O-M-G! I am doing it too; I am babying my baby! You know that funny, youngest child; the child who can quote SpongeBob, but cannot identify the letters of the alphabet. They can manipulate a computer mouse better than their parents, but their shoes are always on the wrong feet. Or at the age of fourteen they
have seen plenty of â€œRâ€? movies, yet their parents still have to clip their fingernails. I questioned my own mother (who has four children and five grandchildren) about the topic. â€œWell, with age comes perspective and Iâ€™m not [sure] itâ€™s so much babying our youngest as much as it is filtering out whatâ€™s most important in raising a child. Would it really have been so bad to let you stay up past eight oâ€™clock every once in a while?â€? Many new parents are intent on doing everything the experts say; no pacifiers after three months, no bottles after twelve months, stick to a proper sleep schedule. When the next child comes around, you try to juggle the same trials and tribulations while keeping your other children happy and engaged. Many times, concessions are made; the pacifier stays a few months (or years) longer and, every once in a while, you rock your child to sleep, instead of making them cry it out. â€œWith my first two children, I like to say it was all about â€˜treading water,â€™ â€? says Jennifer Eilbacher of Cherry Hill. â€œWhen my third child came along, I wanted to savor those baby moments because I knew he was my last. I also
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believe it has been a fair trade off for him. He might be babied, but he is also the same child that has been dragged to the girlsâ€™ endless activities from the moment he was born. I love it when he asks me to lay with him at night before he falls asleep or when he wants to be held and plays with my hair. Deep down, I know these days of babying him are numbered. But maybe babying [him] is more about me and I am okay with it!â€? Susan Remphrey, also of Cherry Hill, says, â€œI love all my children and have slightly altered their upbringings to accommodate our lives, because with each additional child, we have more responsibilities. However, I never changed teaching responsibility, being an individual, good manners, sharing, love, compassion, kindness, trust, being a good friend, being respectful to friends and adults, and following our religion. In a nutshell, itâ€™s okay to raise them differently; at the core, they all come out to be the same loving, caring [children].â€?
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August 2010 | 9
ELIMINATING EMPATHY DEFICIT DISORDER By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
â€œStop crying.â€? â€œDonâ€™t worry about it.You can get another one.â€? â€œItâ€™s not that big a deal.â€? â€œSo what do you want me to do about it?â€? â€œWhy donâ€™t you just suck it up?â€? â€œPouting isnâ€™t going to get you anywhere.â€? he statements above, and others similar to them, are often uttered by parents whose homes suffer from Empathy Deficit Disorder. Empathy Deficit Disorder or EDD, as itâ€™s often called, is a chronic condition brought on by parents who donâ€™t acknowledge a childâ€™s feelings or, by their efforts, to diminish those feelings when they are expressed. The long-term existence of EDD results in a lack of closeness between parents and children and produces a severe disconnect that can take years to repair. To eradicate Empathy Deficit Disorder in your home, begin by understanding its importance. To be fully healthy, children need parents, teachers, and other adults to respond to their feelings in positive ways. This includes using feeling words when children are caught up in strong emotion (sadness or joy, anger or love, fear or faith). â€œYou look like youâ€™re frustrated.â€? â€œYou seem angry.â€? â€œYou sound like youâ€™re bubbling over with happiness.â€? This kind of language communicates to children that their feelings are normal and part of being a fully functioning human being. Acknowledging childrenâ€™s feelings serves as a preventive inoculation against EDD. In addition to using validating language, put EDD on the run by giving love, nurturing and comfort when your children are upset. Take your child on your lap and hug him if he fell and skinned his knee. Hold your daughter if sheâ€™s scared of the shadows in her bedroom. Rub your sonâ€™s back if heâ€™s crying so hard that he can not seem to get his breath. Acknowledge the childâ€™s feelings, even if you have to guess what they are. Attempting to talk a child out of his or her feelings is the wrong
10 | August 2010
medicine. â€œYou seem frightenedâ€? is empathetic. â€œThereâ€™s no reason to feel scaredâ€? is EDD in action. â€œIt must feel bad not to get invited to the partyâ€? communicates understanding and caring. â€œThere will be other partiesâ€? tells the child that his feelings are not important. Lead with empathy. Teaching, reassuring, disciplining, explaining, and providing information can come later. When in the midst of powerful emotion, telling the child there is no good reason for those feelings exacerbates the problem. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the worldâ€™s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com.
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In Defense of the Shy Kids: The BENEFITS of Raising a Shy Child By Laura Amann y nephew can stick 12 French fries up his nose. My daughter’s friend regularly hangs up the phone on her mother and my son’s buddy refuses to play if he does not win at Mario Kart. But my children seem to raise the most eyebrows.Their issue? They are shy. I have raised four (formerly) shy kids. They all cried at preschool. They all quivered at the word “babysitter.” None of them could look an adult in the eye until about age eight, much less answer a question. I’ve peered reassuringly through a doorway at ballet class while holding a baby on my lap. I’ve sat in the preschool hallway waving at my three-year-old. I’ve perched on a rickety stool and given the thumbs-up during piano lessons. But I’ve also learned that with perseverance and encouragement, my children eventually gained the confidence and assurance they needed. Their shyness did not last forever. We live in a time when kids are encouraged to be assertive, strong and outgoing. These are wonderful traits to have, but it’s also important to remember that some people are naturally just more quiet, bashful or hesitant. “Shy” should not be a bad word. As my children grow older, I find that many kids once praised as “outgoing” are becoming more obnoxious. And those kids who have been encouraged to be so competitive? Well, they are not always much fun to play with. Still, based on comments I hear, I think many parents feel quiet children must be pitied while outspoken kids are to be lauded. “Don’t be shy,” parents admonish their children when the kids clam up before a stranger or in an unfamiliar situation. Are they really being shy? Or just sizing up the unknown? Now, I have nothing against rambunctious, crazy kids. My husband comes from a family of daring and outgoing siblings. The stories of their wild antics growing up are part of what makes me love them. But shy kids are a concept they have trouble understanding. The differences between our families came to a head in the middle of a family vacation. My husband and I were being pressured to put our kids in all-day ski school. We struggled between the allure of a few cherished hours of freedom on the slopes and the fear
that the kids would most likely be miserable. Eventually, we were coerced into doing it and it was a disaster. My son and daughter never even made it out of the lodge and onto the slopes. When we came to pick them up, my son lay crumpled on the dirty floor where my daughter watched over him, tear-stained. My mother-in-law was astounded. “What is so hard about it? I mean, why can’t they just stay inside and color then? What is so hard about just coloring?” She didn’t intend to be cruel, but she simply could not grasp the challenges that new situations pose to shy children. The funny thing is, once I changed my mindset and stopped forcing my kids to do things they did not want to do, our struggles subsided. I worked with what I’d been given. Too scared of ballet? Let’s wait. Crying at the thought of a playdate? Just hang out with the siblings then. We all relaxed. Shy or outgoing, all children have issues. We all have issues. Most of the time, we grow out of them. Not always, of course; that’s what makes the world such an interesting place. My 8-year-old dau• Commitment to children’s dental ghter recently cacare for over 30 years me home with a • Treating infants thru adolescents project asking her • Focus on prevention education to list three things • Orthodontist on staff* that describe her. “I • Flexible hours at two locations like to read, I’m a good friend, and I’m CHECK OUT shy,” she proudly MOMMY MORNINGS! wrote. No apologies Wed., Aug. 18th: 10am-11am FREE Monthly seminar on infant oral health for necessary.
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Laura Amann is a freelance writer whose four children exhibit varying degrees of social assertiveness.
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August 2010 | 11
moms R women 2
When Do You Show Your “MOM HAND” In The Interview Process? By Vicki Brackett
ooking for a job in this economy and fiercely competitive job market can be a challenge. For moms, there is the added stress of trying to balance family AND a job or career. When conducting a new job search, moms should focus on the employer and not on their family. Sounds like something that would make a mom stand on top of a table and yell “no” at the top of her voice, but a mom can have what she wants in a job if she learns to play the job search game by taking a straight forward approach. 1. Remember employers are not there to fit your needs! They are there to make money. The best thing to do is look at what you can do to help a company get what “they” want, make them money, save them money and minimize their risk. Be sure to explain how you can do that for them.
2. The employer’s job is not to give you the hours, compensation and working conditions that you want. They want what will help them reach their goals. Do not talk about flex hours or working virtually in your interview, unless they bring it up. If they do bring it up, make sure you have done your homework on what the company currently does. The time to negotiate for flex hours and working virtually is AFTER you get the offer. Not before. 3. Remember that most companies do not want to hear about your children in an interview. Yes, that means even if the hiring manager is a working mom. She knows what it took for her to get to work this morning. She might hesitate to hire someone who might not make it on the day a client is flying in for a presentation. For the most part, companies do want their employees to be happy. Happy employees usually means more productive employees, less time
How to Address Your Work History Gaps
or stay-at-home moms, returning to work can bring on more than just separation anxiety. Staying at home creates a large gap in employment history. Many moms wonder: does staying at home with your child qualify as a previous occupation? Most mothers agree that incorporating their time as a stay-at-home mom in a resume is perfectly acceptable. Be sure to highlight any kind of involvement in activities during your time as a stay-at-home mom. For example, if
12 | August 2010
you have participated in PTA, organized events for the local MOMS club, or even participated in any volunteer work, it will help show employers you have still been very active in your time away from the conventional work world. It’s also helpful to highlight skills utilized during that time, like management, event planning and schedule maintenance. Remember, parenthood is not without its own set of special skills.
By Shannon L. Sadler Highlight accomplishments, but do not over-embellish. To explain work gaps, list “fulltime parent” as most current occupation and stay away from titles like “domestic engineer” or “homemaker.” Some mothers actually prefer to list “full-time parent” as an occupation to help filter out employers who may not be completely family-friendly. If listing “full-time parent” still concerns you, try a resume format that focuses on occupation and skills rather than chronology.
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off and low turnover, which saves training and other costs. People who are currently working at the company are the people who can really tell you how things are; but again, they may have their own issues with their boss, department, schedule and job duties, so they are definitely going to have their own bias. The best way to find out what a company wants is to take the interview! Since most companies will have you interview multiple times, you will get an idea of the type of people the company hires. Ask some questions, but be very careful how your questions are worded because you do not want to show your “I need flex schedule and I’d love to work virtually some days” hand before the offer is made in writing. Bottom line, everyone’s situation is different and, unfortunately, you will not really know what it’s like to work there until you do. Women, especially moms, have good intuition. Minimize your anxiety and fear by preparing for the interview. Know your strategy and what stories of past accomplishments you can tell that will articulate a game plan for your new employer. When you are more prepared, you are able to relax and zone in on that great intuition. In the meantime, hold your cards close to your vest and get out there and make your new job come to life! Founder of Make It Happen For Women, Vicki Brackett is a well-known career search expert who has helped over 10,000 people find jobs. Brackett is a recognized speaker and presents nationwide, using a no-nonsense approach to educate women on how to take charge of their career and job searches.
Common Questions Your Future Boss Might Ask By Shannon L. Sadler
any stay-at-home moms feel pressure at job interviews, especially about questions concerning their most recent endeavors. What makes you a viable asset to the company? What are some of your most recent achievements? These questions can seem very daunting to parents who have been out of work for an extended period of time. Take some time to think of your accomplishments as a parent. If an employer asks you to describe a time when you had to work with a group of people to achieve a common goal, tell them about a family, neighborhood or church event you may have helped organize. Another question that can feel like the kiss of death in a job inter-
view is “Describe your strengths and weaknesses.” Unlike your strengths, weaknesses can be tricky and require a bit of cleverness. Refrain from answers like, “I am not particularly computer savvy.” Instead, look for a quality that may be a negative for you, but a positive for your employer. For example, a response like, “I am a perfectionist,” or “I tend to take on lots of projects at once.” (Don’t forget to mention that you complete those projects). Do not assume being out of the workforce loop, will make you less valuable to an employer. Job interviews are not just about the skills but the caliber of the person.
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Best Careers for the Next Ten Years Looking to go back to school and not sure what you want to do? Consider one of the following careers. According to the experts these jobs will be in high demand for at least the next ten years. • Systems Engineer • Physician Assistant • College Professor • Nurse Practitioner • IT Project Manager • Certified Public Accountant • Geoscientist • Physical Therapist • Computer/Network Security Consultant • Anesthesiologist • Gynecologist • Psychiatrist • Nurse Anesthetist • Sales Director • Lawyers • Veterinarian • IT Business Analyst • Technical Writer • Occupational Therapist • Computer Programmer • Day Care Provider • Elder Care Specialist • Employment Specialist • Environmental Engineer • Home Health Aide • Social Services Coordinator Anything related to healthcare or technology are sure bets. Also communication fields like Marketing and Public Relations are popular as well.
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August 2010 | 15
at the Computer?
Five Keys to Saving Your Eyesight
f you spend any length of time in front of a computer, you probably experience some form of eyestrain, vision headaches or other visual stress.
And you are not alone. According to the American Optometric Association, upwards of eight out of ten computer users report some type of eyestrain at the computer. The problem is so prevalent, it’s been given a name: Computer Vision Syndrome (CVS).
Symptoms of Computer Vision Syndrome: • sore or over-tired eyes • burning or itching eyes • dry, or watery, eyes • double vision • blurry eyesight (either at the computer or distance) • the need for glasses for the first time • the need for stronger prescriptions • headaches, neck, shoulder and back tension • increased sensitivity to light Taking Care of Your Eyes at the Computer: 1. Customize your computer setup for you. 1. Set up your computer so that you can look beyond the screen. If at all possible, avoid putting it in the corner or facing a wall. 2. Sit directly in front of the computer, not off to one side or the other. 3. Sit 18-24 inches away from the screen. 4. Sit high enough so that your line of sight is level with, or higher than, the top of the screen. 5. Keep your wrists level with, or below, your elbows. Never bend your wrists up when typing. 6. Your knees should be below the level of your hips. 7. Place your feet on the floor. Use a footrest if your feet do not reach the floor. 2. Look away from the screen regularly. Focusing on an object far away, such as the water cooler down the hall or a tree outdoors, is a simple stretching exercise for eye muscles. Quickly shift your focus from near to far three to four times. A brief look into the distance every two to three minutes prevents the buildup of visual stress and discomfort and keeps your eyes healthy and active. Micro vision break tip: Look up and focus on the farthest object in the distance. Blink a couple of times. Shift your vision back to the screen and refocus. (Three near-to-far shifts per break are recommended. This should take about five seconds.) 3. Minimize glare on the screen. You can detect a potential glare problem by turning on the lights in the room that you normally would use before turning on your computer. If you see any images or reflections on the (turned-off) screen, you have a glare problem. 16 | August 2010
To reduce or minimize glare, experiment by: • Tilting the screen • Moving objects that reflect onto the screen • Covering windows to block sunlight • Turning off or lowering offending lights • Turning your computer so the screen is perpendicular to overhead fluorescent lights By Martin Sussman It may be impossible to eliminate glare altogether, in which case you might consider using an anti-glare screen.
4. Use friendly lighting. Bright fluorescent lights are a poor choice. Dimmer lights are better. Have a desk lamp for reading and doing other close work at your desk, but make sure it does not reflect on the screen. Standing lamps that direct light at the ceiling provide the best indirect light. 5. Blink more often. Computer rooms are notoriously dry, and this may be one reason why your eyes hurt at the computer. Blinking is your body’s natural way of lubricating your eyes and preventing dry eyes. Normally the eye blinks 10–12 times a minute. Blinking lubricates and cleanses the eyes, keeping them moist for clear vision and comfort. Blinking also helps relax the facial muscles and forehead, countering the tendency to furrow one’s brow and create tension. These five tips should be enough to keep you from feeling eyestrain at the computer. But sometimes these tips are not enough. The causes of the blurred vision and visual stress might go deeper. Make sure you have your eyes checked at least once a year, and make sure that you are using the correct prescription for computer use; it’s not always the same as your regular prescription. Martin Sussman, president and founder of the Cambridge Institute for Better Vision and developer of the world’s #1 Best-selling Program for Better Vision, is also co-author of Total Health at the Computer. Sussman is a firm believer that different vision problems require different solutions.You can see everything he believes is helpful to the eyes by visiting www.bettervision.com.
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Age is Just a Number Women have been known to shave a few years off their actual age or to pull the covers over their head and hide from the inevitable. Many women, however, rejoice in the coming of a new age, especially those milestones of 30 and 40. TURNING 30 For many women, turning 30 is the beginning of their truly adult years, going from singledom and a life of few responsibilities to adulthood and all that comes with it. “Turning 30, for me, was a time when I felt like I had certain things I had to do,” says one South Jersey mom who asked not to be identified. “I married a man my parents wanted me to marry and started having kids. Nobody, including myself, asked what I wanted.” She continues, “I am in the process of making some changes in my life that are more about what I want for my life rather than what others want for me.” While she says she does not regret the choices she made at thirty, she feels as though she will be armed with information from “the school of life” when she finally reaches forty. Melissa, a West Deptford mom, says she was not concerned about turning thirty. “I had all the things I was ‘supposed’ to have at that age, so I felt like it was time to enter a new decade. I think, had I still been single, behaving like I did when I was in my earlier twenties, I would have had a hard time dealing with 30.” TURNING 40 A woman in her 40s is seasoned, poised and confident. She knows what she wants and is not afraid to go for it. While some women choose not to even think about turning 40 (“We’re in denial,” said one), those who did speak about it had mostly good things to say. Erica Waldron Hawk of Cape May Court House says that she is “at a comfortable place in my career and am better able to balance kids, marriage and career” than she was at 30. “I discovered that I did not have to be superwoman. Someone was always missing out anyway and that somebody was usually me,” says Hawk. Megan Horsman, a mom from Quinton, says now that she’s reached 40, “my life is the BEST it has ever been!” From going back to school to become an RN to preparing to run a 5K, she is doing the things she wished she www.southjerseymom.com
had done when she first got out of the military, in her twenties. “I decided I wanted to make major changes for me and my family and, if those changes were going to be made, they needed to be made now.” She took those goals and kicked into full gear to accomplish them. She exercises and takes better care of her health now. “I want to be around for my kids,” says Horsman. By Renee Taylor Negin Sheri Beamon of Cape May, is approaching 40, and does not have children. “I wonder signs of aging, they also embrace the, someif I still have time to be, or want to be a mom,” times, unexpected satisfaction that comes says Beamon. She says she is getting fit so she along with earning those years. will look good when she turns 40, and that her career is going well. Though she still feels young, she now thinks more about the future and retirement planning. Having had cancer seven years ago, Beamon appreExciting News! ciates her life more We’re proud to announce the Grand and tries to have Opening of our new, additional office fun every day. location! In association with the Virtua Health Overall, wom& Wellness Center in Washington Township, en in their forties Dr. Back has been named Medical Director feel more confident of vir tú a luxurious MedSpa with a full in who they are and service Cosmetic Surgery Center, relaxing in the choices they Day Spa, and state-of-the-art Wellness Center! make. They know what they want out We welcome you to visit us at vir tú... of life, and they are for a unique experience beyond words! taking action to get Lyle M. Back, M.D. it. 1-800-MAKEOVER While age is just a number, hitting a milestone often makes womCosmetic Surgery Center Advanced Beauty Center en take stock of of Cherry Hill at vir tú their life, looking 1942 Route 70 East 239 Hurffville Cross Keys Rd. back on their past Cherry Hill, NJ 08003 Sewell, NJ 08080 and ahead to the www.lylemback.md www.virtu4u.com future. As women 1-800-MAKEOVER 1-800-MAKEOVER struggle to fight the
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f your to-do list is extremely long and your daily planner is always booked, you are not alone. Many families have schedules packed with commitments and activities. This isn’t a bad thing. Time outside the home is a great way to develop individually. However, family cohesion is important and sharing quality time over meals can help. It’s difficult for most families to eat together every day. Victoria Handfield, a psychologist with offices in Burlington and Mount Holly, suggests aiming for a family meal at least three or four times a week. This consistency and predictability not only gives children a great sense of security, it helps you stay involved and guide them to make positive, healthy life choices. Time together also helps families get to know each other and keeps the lines of communication open.
Make Family Meals a Positive Experience Handfield suggests setting the tone for family meals when your children are young. For example, make it a time to talk about fun experiences and accomplishments. Give your
kids a chance to talk about themselves, their day, friends, school and other thoughts. “It helps to take turns so everyone gets a chance to speak. Be sure to give your quiet family members a chance to voice their thoughts and receive encouragement,” says Handfield. Let Your Children Get to Know You While it’s important to have emotional control, do not be afraid to show your children your true feelings, within reason. “Parents often want to shield children from more intense emotional issues — which often is the right choice — but children need to see that life includes resolutions to difficult situations,” says Handfield. Don’t be afraid to talk about your day, some challenges and how you resolved them. Build Relationships and Communication Skills Together Talking at the breakfast or dinner table should include a number of topics — plans for the day or week, food and meal choices, games or sports, school work or current events. If your family is really busy, you may want to make a
list of things that each person wants to discuss. This helps to recognize everyone’s needs and gives you a chance to meet them as equitably as possible. Eat Healthy and Try New Foods Together Handfield also suggests keeping meals simple, yet nutritious. “You don’t need to stress over what to cook. Just remember to serve a variety from the major food groups. For example, buy a ready-made sauce or marinade and add it to sautéed chicken, beef or shrimp as a main course. If you can, double a recipe when you have the time, and freeze the remainder.” Remember, make meals pleasant — not a time for discipline or arguing. Consistency is really vital. There is so much stress and change in our lives these days, having some repetitive, predictable dinners is very comforting for everyone! Gwen Recinto is a writer and fitness instructor. Follow her on Twitter @AllThingsGwen, and check out her blog, AllThingsGwen.com for posts about living a happy, healthy and inspired life.
Eat Together and Share More Than Food The benefits of consistent family meals By Gwen Recinto
18 | August 2010
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August 2010 | 19
Get Organized for , r e i m a e r d a r o f s p i t the School Year tidier nest
By Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
ho says spring is the best time for clearing the clutter and welcoming order? Getting ready for school is as brilliant a time as any to create more order and feel more peace. Sometimes I dread the process of simplifying. Then I commit and dive in and I am astonished at how little time it actually takes or how incredibly huge the payoff is. Organizing your family and home ultimately saves you tons of time and energy, decreases your stress and teaches your kids to live in a smart, organized way.
toys where you want them to be played with. This is huge and 4. Store relates to #1. It’s far simpler to tidy up the house swiftly when it’s not strewn with a zillion playthings, so insist your children corral toys to zones you approve.
HERE ARE A FEW IDEAS TO GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW
Simplify your space. Revamp and de-clutter the house so it can be tidied up quickly. That means clearing clutter from tables and surfaces (even the floors—do you really need all those throw rugs?), storing away clothing items and outerwear no longer in season, and rethinking over-furnished rooms. It’s easier to vacuum or sweep wide open spaces that are free of clutter, and you may be surprised at how much better you feel when visual clutter is eliminated. You do not have to save the world in a day. Simplifying in small chunks is just fine. Samantha Buck, a professional organizer on lifeorganizeit.com, suggests setting a timer for yourself. She says, “I like to set a timer for 30 minutes and work [as] fast as I can to complete de-cluttering projects. You’ll be amazed at how much you can get done by using the clock to challenge yourself.”
Create a file system. The school papers, permission slips, homework, etc. can pile up quickly so a little preliminary planning will work miracles. Clearly designate a home for school-related stuff, and make sure each student has a binder or folder for report cards, phone numbers, sports info, handbooks, etc. It’s also a good idea to have a stash of school supplies in a designated area.
Trash last year’s school stuff. Think about scanning or taking digital photos of your children’s artwork, since those precious treasures can pile up and steal precious space. Hans Hofmann is credited with saying, “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” Let this year’s stuff speak.
20 | August 2010
Address those closets! This is a perfect time to purge closets, since the kids will have a few new things to wear and be ready to part with some of the old. Don’t forget the beauty of HOOKS! Kids love ‘em, and they do the job. Remind your kids that hangers do not bite and that their clothes will stay wrinkle-free if they actually use them. Organizing expert Cynthia Ewer author and editor of Organized Home, reminds us that belongings used most should be stored on lower shelves or on the floor. Have a basket or shopping bag accessible in the closet for clothing and shoes to donate when they no longer fit.
Think again before buying MORE cool storage items. Some of us think that to organize means buying lots of containers. Sure there are a ton of awesome storage options claiming to make our lives easier, but it’s important to question, “Why am I keeping this anyway?” or “How often do I really use this?” or “Do I love love love this?” Most of the time, we don’t even know why we are holding on to stuff and just need to purge. Organizing guru and author of When Organizing Isn’t Enough (2008), Julie Morgenstern, says, “The process of throwing things out forces you to recognize what your attachment is.” Answering these questions will help you limit what you bring home and it will not be necessary to invest in more storage items (or a bigger house!). Welcome autumn with your family and say hello to a tidier nest that works for all of you. Michele Ranard is a freelancer with blogs at cheekychicmama.com and hellolovelyinc.com.
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Get CONTROL of all that Paper! Handling Incoming Mail • Sort the mail into piles on a daily basis—that which needs to be recycled, that which needs to be filed right away (e.g., financial statements), that which needs to be handled at a later date (e.g., bills to be paid), that which needs to be shredded (items with personal banking info) and that which belongs to other family members. • Have a recycle bucket or bag near your sorting area so the mail that needs to be recycled gets put in that container right away. • Designate a place in your home to move the piles that you need to take care of. School Papers School papers can sure take on a life of their own, and there are several ways of handling them. • Invest in some type of memorabilia box/plastic bin. Label the container with the child’s name. Store what you and/or your child think are the most important school papers and art work in that container. • At the end of the school year, sit together with your child and pick out those papers you want to keep. Set a numeric limit and pick out your favorites together. If you are having a hard time deciding, take a picture of the item before discarding it. Barbara Berman is the owner of South Jersey-based BB’s Clutter Solutions. She understands people’s needs to create order out of chaos and works with them one-on-one to help them develop strategies to stay organized. For more info, call (856)912-0077 or visit www.bb-clutter-solutions.com.
August 2010 | 21
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The Boys (and Girls)
Of Summer T
he Fountain five had a classic American outing recently, involving Ducks, Sharks and a bullpen (though no bulls). No, we weren’t at the aquarium or a local farm. We were at our first family baseball
game! We hopped into the van and my wife took a quick inventory. Hats: Check. Water: Check. Sun screen: Double Check! We were headed to Campbell’s Field to see the Camden Riversharks take on the Long Island Ducks on a sunny afternoon. When we arrived at the ballpark, everyone was excited. Molly had heard of a carousel through the kindergarten grapevine, while Jack was looking forward to seeing me play. (I play recreational baseball, but my boy assumed I was going to be on the field that day as a player.) A f t e r telling my son that I wouldn’t be participating, he asked, “Won’t your baseball buddies be sad?” As we approached the ticket window, I explained how attending a baseball game can be just as much fun as playing. He said, “I don’t think so,” echoing my own thoughts. After getting our tickets, we headed through the gates and were greeted by “Finley,” the Riversharks’ mascot. Our two oldest embraced the fuzzy shark while Sadie, our youngest, eyed him cautiously and pointed an accusing finger. (You should see how she treats the Chik-Fil-A cows.) We settled into our seats and, as I began explaining the game to my kids, I was quickly interrupted. “Daddy, can we go over there?” My daughter pointed to an area nearby that boasted a bounce house and a kids’ batting cage. I explained that we were there to see the game but, of course, you can’t bring kids that close to a childhood promised land and not see it through, so my point was moot. The kids proceeded to hit wiffle balls, jump in the bounce house and climb the rock wall. It was definitely time to cool off with a walk to the concourse! After an all too brief moment in the shade, we headed to the merry-go-round. After merrily going round a few times, most of us had enough (with the exception of Sadie, who clung to her horse mightily until Lori pried her pudgy fingers loose… the kid’s got freakish upper body strength!). Finally, it was time to catch some of the game. It sounded like it was a good one! Before we could sit, however, the kids had to go to the restroom (of course).
By Brian Fountain
As we headed back to our seats we realized that it was “Dollar Day” which meant certain food items were a mere buck. I didn’t want to insult the marketing genius who came up with that one so, needless to say, I hit the concessions. When I brought the food back to the family who were now in their seats, I was greeted with a myriad of questions. “Where do the players park their cars?” “Why does that kid keep taking the bats?” “Why aren’t they throwing the ball to me?” I answered like any dad should: “In the parking lot,” “He’s the bat boy,” and “Come with me…” I swept my son up in my arms as the inning ended and held him atop the dugout. The first baseman jogged towards the bench, pointed to Jack and flipped the ball to him. I reached out and grabbed it and handed it to my boy. He proudly held it up and showed his sisters. My wife and I exchanged glances and we smiled. It was a good game. Oh, and the Riversharks won too. Brian Fountain lives in Winslow Township with his wife and their three young children. He is an Atlantic City restaurant manager and writes about the joys and struggles of raising a family from a father’s perspective.
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know 2 grow
sible, and when you say no, mean it,” Murphy advises. Having a sense of humor doesn’t hurt either. Ingrid Brown has two daughters, 4 and 2, who both went through the “no” phase at around 20 months. “I tried to make a game out of it,” Brown says. “If they said no to everything, I would counter back in a funny voice repeating ‘nooooOOOooo’ right back at them and give them a little tickle.”
By Christa Hines
When Toddlers Say NO he first few words out of our children’s mouths, such as mama and dada, are like little warm drops of sunshine. Until they say “no.” The ubiquitous word creeps into a child’s lexicon before most any other word and, while it quickly ranks as a top favorite for many a toddler, parents find this stage of a child’s development frustrating and challenging. Jen Mann-Li, a mother of two, describes her daughter Sadie, 3, as a “pro” at using the word no. “She didn’t really talk until she was almost two years old, and “no” was a favorite right away,” Mann-Li says. Mann-Li says that Sadie refuses to be distracted from what she wants. “She’s very stubborn and will not budge (sometimes literally),” she says. “We have a saying that Sadie will ‘die on that hill’ and she does, daily, over these ‘silly’ things.”
Why they say it. Laura Murphy is a certified parent coach and president of Real Families, Inc., which helps families work through parenting, marriage and financial issues. She says that the chief child-rearing complaint she hears concerns children refusing to do what parents want them to do. 24 | August 2010
Not only is the word “no” an easy word for toddlers to say, but Murphy believes, “The biggest reason they say it so much is because they hear it so much from everyone else.” The good news is that this phase is completely normal and healthy. “The number one job of a 2-year-old is to test every physical limit. Pushing physical limits to find out what the adults will do is a natural approach for a toddler. They need to learn those limits,” Murphy says. PROACTIVE STRATEGIES FOR LESS RESISTANCE Change your approach. Challenge yourself to see if you can say no without really saying the word no. For example, if your child asks for a cookie, instead of saying “no, not before dinner” say “sure, after dinner.” This exercise will also make you more aware of just how often you say no. “Once we change our approach, we usually notice a change in our children,” Murphy says. Also, talk to your spouse and childcare providers about using other words besides no all the time. This does not mean you should ban the word entirely. “Say yes as often as pos-
Offer two choices. Laura Berger, whose children are 5 and 8, says that when her children were younger, choices helped motivate them to do what she asked. “One choice was the one I wanted them to do and the other was a choice that I knew they would not consider picking, [such as] either pick your toys up or I’ll throw them away!” Resistance often begins long before a child utters his or her first word. “When they’re old enough to start flinging food at you from their high chair, they’re old enough to start making choices,” Murphy says. Barring a dangerous situation, such as your child refusing to move in a busy street, provide your child with two choices that you like and can live with. “Small choices for the kids, but the adults make the big decisions,” Murphy says. For example, a parent decides on bedtime, but a child chooses between the blue pajamas or red pajamas. By allowing your toddler to make small decisions, he or she will have a sense of control, which will likely reduce negative behaviors, such as not listening, running away, resistance and temper tantrums. If a child refuses to make a decision in ten seconds, the parent should make it for the child, following up with empathy. Show empathy not anger. Murphy stresses that empathy is an important component of providing choices to your child. “When you replace anger with empathy,” she says, “you’ll notice a huge shift.” For example, when your child doesn’t get something that she wants, say something along the lines of, “I know. It’s a bummer” instead of “get over it.” Avoid “parenting on the fly.” Remain calm in the heat of the moment and decide ahead of time on what things to definitely say no to and what you can say yes to. Also, try making a list of the small choices you can offer your child during those more troublesome times of the day. For more parenting tips and resources, visit www.Real-families.com. Other recommended resources include www.Loveandlogic.com, www.Kidsareworthit.com and the book How to Get Your Kids to Mind Without Losing Yours by Kevin Leman.
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Re-connect with your middle schooler
lamming doors. Rolling eyes. Heavy sighing. If you have a middle school age child, these may be common phenomena in your house. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember the sweet little child whose toes you kissed and who pleaded for one more good night kiss. But they are in there and they need you more than ever. Rather than lashing out, try taking a deep cleansing breath, slapping a smile on your face, and vow to find a better way to connect. It’s an ongoing process that reaps great rewards.
By Laura Amann Know When to Make Your Move Getting information or details out of your child can sometimes feel like pulling a wagon uphill. It’s a lot of work. The trick is to catch them at the right moment. Rather than volleying questions at them during dinner, try talking while the two of you are doing something else such as driving somewhere, walking the dog or cooking dinner. Sometimes, when they are slightly distracted, it’s easier for them to talk. Harry Harrison, author of ten books, including Father to Son, and founder of the website www.raisingparents.com, recommends taking a daily walk with your daughter and watching movies of her choice with her. Boys, he has found, will talk when eating, playing catch, looking at cars or building something. “The key is to not make a big deal about getting them talking, but to do active things with him. He will talk.” Your job is to just listen without being judgmental or offering unwanted advice. Let Their Passion Lead the Way Kids at this age tend to be very passionate about their current interests. Why not tag along? Follow their lead, whether it’s sports or books, or find something that interests both of you, such as cooking, running or music. “Whatever your teen’s passion (if it’s not unhealthy or unsavory), that should be your passion, even if you have to be a bit of a phony about it,” explains Ellen Pober Rittberg, mother of three grown children and author of 35 Things Your Teen Won’t Tell You, So I Will. “Find a way to encourage their interest.” Share Your Stories Remember to share stories about the “olden days” when you were their age. Knowing they are not alone and that you have experienced a similar situation or felt a certain way can be extremely reassuring. Dig deep inside and bring out those memories of junior high. What was your passion? Who was your best friend? What was your most embarrassing moment? What teacher do you most remember? Talk about the fun times along with the more difficult or embarrassing moments. Let them know you survived it all. Plug In Many kids use texting, instant messaging and Facebook as a way to communicate and, if you are not plugged in too, you may be missing a large chunk of their life. Ellen Kellner, parent-child coach and founder of www.theprochildway.com, uses this analogy, “Just as you wouldn’t send www.southjerseymom.com
your child off to a party without knowing where the house is and who is going to be there, you shouldn’t send your child off to ‘social media land’ without first visiting it yourself.” Sign up for an account, “friend” your child, and expand their “friend” circle to include other trusted adults. “Having other adults as ‘friends’ serves as a gentle reminder that social media isn’t private,” Kellner explains. Remember to keep the computer in a public location where they are less likely to veer off-track on the Internet. If your child texts, you should too, particularly if this is the preferred method of communication for your child. Besides being a good way to connect, it can also be a discreet way for them to contact you if they get in a situation that makes them uncomfortable. Drive, Drive, Drive Offer to drive whenever you can. A group of kids laughing in a car can give you a good idea of what’s going on in their lives. Kids are particularly talkative and excited after an event. Tune in and follow up when you get home, “Did things work out between Grace and Ryan?” “What do your friends think about Katie’s gossiping? Has anyone ever gotten hurt by it?” Ask some leading questions (not yes or no) while doing another activity and see what comes up. Root for a Sports Team or Follow a Reality Show Following a favorite sports team is one of the most common examples of family bonding. It’s just more fun to follow along and keep up on the players and game plans when others share your interest. It can also provoke a fun, friendly rivalry within the house. Already follow a team? Up the ante and join a fantasy league together. If sports are not your thing (or your child’s), try a reality contest show. American Idol, Survivor, and The Biggest Loser are some frequently cited programs that parents enjoy watching with their kids. These shows not only give you something to discuss, but the real life stories of the contestants is good fodder for conversation openers. The middle school years are a period of push-pull. So often, this age group pushes away just as they most need you to pull them in. Set firm boundaries. Be a parent. And pay attention. Use this time to take your relationship to a new level and try to really enjoy the person they are becoming. Just be sure to occasionally check the hinges on their door. Laura Amann is a freelance writer with four children, two of whom are currently in middle school. Her door hinges are all well-oiled. August 2010 | 25
Itching for the facts about
childrenâ€™s SKIN CONDITIONS?
ccording to the National Eczema Foundation (NEA), atopic dermatitis, or eczema, occurs in 10 to 15 percent of children. The skin condition is believed to be linked to overactive skin cells, which cause outbreaks when triggered. There are several irritants that can trigger an outbreak, such as dry skin, stress, sweat and allergies. Outbreaks occur on the cheeks and joints of the child and form red blistery patches of skin, which tend to be very itchy and uncomfortable. While the exact cause of eczema is unknown, itâ€™s believed to be hereditary. Children whose parents have experienced some sort of eczema or hay fever are more likely to have the condition. Eczema usually occurs within the first five years of a childâ€™s life and will typically disappear by adolescence. Only a small number of children retain the condition into adulthood.
By Shannon L. Sadler Psoriasis is also a hereditary skin condition, set off by a number of triggers and linked to an overactive immune system. Flares can occur when skin cells on the body begin to grow rapidly, creating thick white or red patches. Patches tend to flake about every four weeks. Psoriasis is, for most, a lifelong condition. The best treatments for psoriasis include UV light exposure, moisturizers and skin soothers. â€œItâ€™s important to have a consistent regime because like eczema, psoriasis is a chronic condition,â€? says Dr. Ingrid Warmuth, who specializes in pediatric dermatology at the Skin Care Center in Elmer, NJ. When caring for children with eczema, Warmuth recommends a combination of products like Vaseline or an unscented skin cream and short showers to keep skin from drying out. Having an antihistamine, such as
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Treatments are Helping People with Psoriasis
or anyone living with psoriasis, it’s difficult to even get dressed in the morning without thinking about the condition. And, during the summer, it can be particularly difficult to live with, since flare-ups are more prevalent as more skin is exposed when wearing warm weather clothing. There are five kinds of psoriasis: plaque, guttate, inverse, erythrodermic and pustular. The most common form of psoriasis is called plaque psoriasis. Plaque psoriasis consists of silvery white or red patches that form and flake about every four weeks. These patches of overgrown skin can become itchy and even painful. About 10 to 30 percent of those affected by psoriasis develop a condition called psoriasis arthritis, which can cause pain, swelling and tenderness in the joints. Most commonly, the patches appear on the knees, elbows, scalp, hands, feet and the lower back. Flares are brought about by certain triggers, which cause the immune system to stimulate the growth of these cells. Cold, stress, certain blood pressure medicines, infections and injuries to the skin can be just a few of the triggers for psoriasis. Recently, Dr. Warmuth’s Skin Care Center in Elmer, NJ, obtained the XTRACT Excimer laser, a new tool used to treat psori-
asis. The XTRAC Excimer Laser treatments are defined by different wavelengths of light, called phototherapy. Patients with psoriasis sometimes see an improvement in their skin after exposure to ultraviolet B (UVB) light. For example, patients are sometimes recommended to use tanning beds or sit out in the sun to clear up flares. The laser uses the same range of light as a tanning bed, around 300 nanometer wavelengths. Warmuth says the precision of the laser is what makes this treatment so unique. “What it means is that we have a higher cure rate, because you can directly, without any damage, treat the lesions and protect the skin around it with better results,” says Warmuth. This kind of treatment is best for people who experience flares on commonly exposed areas of the body. Warmuth also says this treatment is very popular in the summertime because, for many, it’s the time for shorts, bathing suits and tank tops. These are times when most of the body is exposed and patients with psoriasis many feel more selfconscious about their condition. Not only does it help alleviate social anxiety, but the treatment is good for hair-bearing areas of the skin, which are harder to treat otherwise.
Benadryl, available will help relieve itching. One of the biggest mistakes parents make caring for children with eczema is not using proper creams. A cream with a scent or dye may further irritate the skin and thin creams are not effective enough. Warmuth also says parents may not realize that scented dryer sheets can even be a trigger. Sherri Hennagir of Westville says, after four years, she has finally gotten her daughter, Kelsey’s, eczema under control. Kelsey, 4, suffers from a severe case of eczema, which made it extremely hard for them to find effective medications. Hennagir went through several doctors and numerous steroid medications before she was able to find an effective treatment for her daughter’s condition. Kelsey is treated daily with a combination of three medications, which only help when used in combination and not individually.
“Psoriasis is genetically inherited, but environmental factors bring it out”
PHOTOTHERAPY: How Laser
“It’s a very safe treatment and ideal for exposed areas and really stubborn patches,” says Warmuth. The positive results of laser treatment are substantial and, because of this, the treatment is covered by many insurance companies: Medicare, BlueCross/BlueShield and United Healthcare. “Most people think, ‘laser…oh my, that’s cosmetic’, but not in this case,” says Warmuth. Treatment regimes consist of two treatments per week. Most patients see skin clearance within four to ten weeks. The most common side effects patients experience are irritation, soreness and hyper-pigmentation (darkening of the skin) around the treated area. XTRACT Excimer and other forms of phototherapy offer patients a much more pleasant healing experience. Improvements in topical medication and “biologics,” a new form of medication, give patients new hope for treating their condition. For more information about the XTRACT Excimer Laser and treatments for other general skin issues, contact Dr. Ingrid Warmuth’s Skin Care Center at (856) 358-1500 or visit www.drwarmuthskincarecenter.com. The office is located at 420 Front St in Elmer.
“Trying to figure out [triggers] and keeping up on the medication[s] are the most important things you can do,” says Hennagir about caring for children with eczema. Warmuth says eczema and psoriasis are equally common, but in different populations. Psoriasis tends to be more rare in children, but has similar qualities as psoriasis. According to the National Psoriasis Foundation, only 20,000 children under the age of 10 are diagnosed with psoriasis. Most commonly, the first flare for psoriasis occurs at 18 years or older. “Psoriasis is genetically inherited, but environmental factors bring it out,” Warmuth says. Along with some of the triggers common in eczema, stress and certain medications with beta-blockers can cause psoriasis to flare. However, current treatment ranges available for psoriasis make it possible for those afflicted to lead a comfortable, more normal life.
August 2010 | 27
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SCHOOL DAYS By Sheila Taney, RN, MSN
ugust signifies the last month of summer before kids go back to school. Most parents get out the school list and head out to the big box store for supplies. Sure, that is convenient, but is it really the best way to go about back-to-school shopping? Here are some ways to approach the shopping that will green the environment and keep some green in your wallet.
Inspect last year’s backpacks and lunch bags. Reuse again for this school year. Purchase reusable lunch bag items… water bottle, small storage containers, spoons, etc. Purchase 100% recycled and/or biodegradable goods that are required by the teacher (paper towels, tissues, wipes, etc.) Rather than throwing them out, donate any items your child no longer wants/needs from last year to local needy schools. Avoid products that contain PVC/vinyl, BPA. Decide the best way to get your child to and from school to minimize your carbon footprint. Purchase food in bulk to fill containers for lunches/snacks. Buy locally whenever possible.
Is your child the CUTEST KID IN TOWN? Every month, South Jersey MOM will feature a local child on the cover! If you think you have the cutest kid in town, send a 4x6 photo and a $15 entry fee to P.O. Box 2413, Vineland, NJ 08362-2413. If your child(ren) is/are selected, we will arrange a FREE professional photo shoot and they could be on our next cover for all your friends and family to see! Sorry, photos cannot be returned. Parent Name: __________________________________________________ Town:________________________ Phone: __________________________ Child’s Name & DOB: ____________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ Email: ________________________________________________________
Use school supplies you already have in your house. Replenish during the school year as needed. Purchase non-toxic hand sanitizers. Write a note to your child’s teacher about the items on their list that you may have deviated from and explain why. The days of bringing shiny, new pencils to school in September are over. Educate your children on the value of protecting and preserving the environment at this time of year. The children who will truly shine will be the ones whom you help to develop a sense of social and environmental responsibility. Sheila Taney has two children and resides in Cherry Hill. She is passionate about teaching her children and others how they can participate in saving the environment.
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August 2010 | 29
But He’s NOT Babysitting “
ou mean your husband is babysitting your kids and you bring home the bacon?” Lucy, my 80-year-old neighbor from down the street, asks. It’s been just over a year since my husband, Brad, and I decided to switch it up: I went back to work full-time and he became a stay-at-home dad. Since then, I find myself either defending or explaining our decision —at work, at our older son’s pre-school, at family gatherings and now, even at a party hosted by my neighbor. I decided not to tell Lucy that Brad and I did not come to this decision easily. After our first son was born, I began working in a part-time position at the corporation where I am employed. My arrangement was ideal—I had more time at home with my son and I also had the benefits of a stimulating job (and adult conversation) twenty-four hours each week. When we got pregnant with our second son, I started to do the math. It would be impossible for me to continue working part-time and pay for child care for two children, even if only for three days a week. After several spreadsheets and late night discussions, our choice was clear. We would survive on my salary and Brad would stay at home with our boys. We are not the only family with this arrangement. According to a recent U.S. Census Bureau survey, there are over 165,000 stay-at-home dads. I would guess that number may be increasing, as fathers and mothers alike are laid off by employers. In my office there are at least a dozen other women that I know of whose husbands stay at home with their children. Even though the number of stay-at-home dads is increasing, I still get a lot of questions about our out-of-the-ordinary arrangement. Does he do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, fix dinner, vacuum and shop for the groceries? My answer: yes to all but one of the above. Recently, it seems that neither my husband nor I have been cleaning the bathrooms. In a house with one man and two boys, this could become a real problem. But, yes, for the most part, the stay-at-home dad in my family does the same tasks that a typical stay-at-home mom tackles during her day. And, in turn, I do what most working fathers do: I get up, shower, go to work, attend meetings, make recommendations, lead projects and earn an income that provides for my family. Once we determined that I would work full-time and Brad would stay home, we decided to visit a family counselor. Her take on what we were thinking of doing? “Wonderful! I completely support couples swapping roles. It will give you both an appreciation for what the other does. Go for it.” We took her words of encouragement and ran with them. And she was right. I now understand the pressure of “bringing home the bacon” and Brad understands the pressure of caring for two young children all day long. Suffice it to say in our year of living in this gender-bending arrangement we learned a few other things. Communication is key This is true in every partnership, but in our marriage in particular; we both need to feel comfortable venting about the pressures we face. When our roles were more traditional, we did not give those pressures the same attention. Maybe we even took for granted that we were handling the pressures of work or the kids on our own. Now, because our roles are new to both of us, we are more vocal. We are also better listeners because now we understand what the other parent is experiencing in a different way than we did before.
30 | August 2010
By Liz Sheffield
Define the tasks Every household has numerous tasks to keep it running and ours is no exception. When we set out to switch roles, we made an exhaustive list of everything that requires care in our house—the kids, the cats, the finances, the income, the food, the computers, the lawn, each other, etc. Then, based on our interests and skills and the amount of time we spend at home, we assigned ourselves the tasks we would each manage. We decided to share some tasks. Caring for our sons, for example, is something we both want to do. Brad is the primary caregiver during the day while I am at work. When I get home, I am completely involved with my boys. Other tasks, such as managing our money or mowing the lawn, are handled by one of us alone. Evaluate After six months of our new arrangement, we sat down and evaluated how we felt. Based on our discussion, we implemented a weekly “night off” for Brad. I have the option to take a night off when I need it, too. In our discussion, we also talked about finances and potential ways to juggle tasks that were not getting done—like cleaning those pesky bathrooms. Sure, there are many days when I wish I was the one at home with my boys. And there are days when Brad would pay fifty dollars to have five minutes alone. No, people like our neighbor Lucy do not understand our gender-bending arrangement. The good news is…they do not need to understand it. For the record, regardless of your gender, it’s not babysitting if they are your own kids. What matters is that, for our family, a stay-at-home dad works well. As our counselor predicted, this experience has been a huge gift to each of us, to our kids and to our marriage. I will take that gift over a clean bathroom any day.
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August 2010 | 31
Surviving A Double Tragedy One Mom Overcomes Tremendous Loss and Helps Others
efforts of two hyperbaric n the evening of Friday chamber treatments. Eric October 14, 1988, Sabrina died a month later. and Eric Umstead were livDespite her tremendous ing in their apartment in Brooklyn, grief, Sabrina needed to preNew York. It was the start of a long pare for the birth of her son, holiday weekend and the couple had a child who would most likepromising plans ahead of them. The ly be born with severe mednext day, they were to travel to New ical disabilities. But Sabrina Rochelle to look for a new home. “didn’t want to think about They both wanted less of a comthat, couldn’t think about mute for when their son, “Little E”, that.” After a successful Carrived in February. As they sat in Sabrina Umstead Smith section birth, the first few their kitchen and pored over the hours of Erick’s life were details of their insurance coverage, Sabrina grew tired and decided to go to bed. wonderful. But when it came time to feed him, Eric decided to stay up to watch some of the he was unable to suck. The nurses took him World Series. As she went to bed, Eric said, away and that is when numerous problems “We can deal with all this stuff tomorrow.” were discovered, the most prominent being Unfortunately, tomorrow never came. The underdeveloped lungs and cerebral palsy. next thing Sabrina remembers is waking up in Erick’s lungs were not developed and he a hospital three days later. had to be transferred to Jacobi Hospital in the Police and fire records indicate that two Bronx so a trachea could be implanted. After a EMS workers pulled two victims, a man and month in the hospital, Erick was allowed to go a pregnant woman, from the third floor aparthome, but only with constant nursing care and ment of a burning building. Both were unconthe promise to move closer to a pediatric hosscious and without a pulse. They were resuscipital. Since Sabrina’s mother lived in tated and transferred to a local hospital where Philadelphia, they moved south to be near the they were placed in a hyperbaric chamber Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. and treated for smoke inhalation. Those two Over the course of the next two and a victims were Sabrina and Eric Umstead. half years, Sabrina’s home was constantly Because Sabrina was five months pregoccupied by nurses, occupational, physical and nant and the baby had surely suffered oxygen speech therapists. In addition to coordinating deprivation, the doctors felt that terminating all of Erick’s immense medical needs, Sabrina the pregnancy was the most prudent thing to worked full time to support her son and keep do. Sabrina’s mother, Mattie Gore, would not her insurance coverage. Sabrina was exhaustallow it.When Sabrina finally awoke, three days ed. After Erick’s second aspiration (a dangerlater, it was her mother who recounted all the ous inhaling of food into the airway), doctors horrid details, including the information that at CHOP suggested it was time to move him her husband was still unconscious, despite the to a full time facility. The suggestion was devas-
By Kate Hogan tating to Sabrina. After visiting Voorhees Pediatric Facility, Sabrina felt good about the decision and Erick thrived for the next several months. The afternoon of July 9, 1992 changed everything. “I got a call at work that afternoon. Erick had aspirated for the third time. Since I had not driven to work that day, I had to take the bus home, get my car and drive over the bridge to Voorhees. When I got there, I went to sit with Erick. As I was comforting him, he coded. The doctors came rushing in and quickly got me out of the room. As I waited, I stared out a big picture window. After what seemed like forever, I saw a flash of white light travel from one end of the sky to the other. A moment later, the doctor came out to tell me that Erick was gone.” For the next several years, Sabrina mourned the deaths of her son and husband and sought out psychiatric help. In 2006, in response to her therapy, Sabrina, who now lives in South Jersey, decided to sponsor a scholarship in her son Erick’s honor. The following year, The Erick J. Umstead Memorial Foundation (TEJUMF) was started. The foundation serves chronically ill children and their caregivers. “There are some parents that need a lot of help,” says Sabrina. The foundation makes charitable donations through three programs: My PJ’s, Caregivers Count and the Scholarship Program. More information about TEJUMF can be found at www.ericksplace.org. “I want to give parents hope. You are stronger than you know. Your child is a light that ignites you so that you can ignite others. One light can illuminate the whole world. Don’t hide these children. Let the world see how bright and special they are!”
Save the Date! The 2011 South Jersey MOM Conference for Parents will take place on Sunday, March 20, 2011 at The Mansion in Voorhees. Visit www.sjmomparentconference.com often for updates! 32 | August 2010
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Charlie Brown’s Steakhouse Introduces its Special Lobster Extravaganza Menu for Summer Classic Steakhouse Features New Lobster and Seafood Specialties Starting at $13.99 It’s lobster season again, and from now until September 4, Charlie Brown’s Steakhouse, the classic steakhouse known for its USDA Choice Steaks and Prime Rib, will be offering mouth-watering Maine lobster and fresh-catch seafood specialties from the Atlantic. “We look forward to the summer season with our new lobster menu items that we have been creating over the past few months. The new lobster and seafood dishes offer an affordable taste of summer with exciting new choices that our guests will love,” says Chef Phil Butler.
Charlie’s also offers a large selection of Gluten Free food options. South Jersey MOM’s staff recently tested the new menu at the Clementon location. “Our favorites were the Black Magic Steak and Lobster Tail and the Lobster Crab Melt and cup of Lobster Chowder,” says Adrienne Richardson, Publisher, South Jersey MOM. For more information about the family-friendly Charlie Brown’s Steakhouse visit www.charliebrowns.com.
South Jersey Locations 1378 Little Gloucester Rd, Clementon • 114-116 E Main St, Maple Shade • 949 Rte 541, Westampton 95 Linwood Ave, Washington Twp • 111 N. Broad St, Woodbury www.southjerseymom.com
August 2010 | 33
Looking for the latest gadgets, toys, books or family related products? Look no further! Each month, we highlight the latest and greatest just for you. Take a look at these “just born” products and add them to your list of must haves!
Tie Buddies Help your little ones learn to tie their shoes faster with Tie Buddies. Adorable, kid-friendly devices that make learning this important life skill fun for all. With cheerful characters adorning the tabs, your child will be on the way to independently tying shoelaces in no time. These are a South Jersey MOM staff favorite! $8.99, www.tiebuddies.com
Oralcryst A new leading oral care product for toddlers and children. Oralcryst Junior enables kids to chew away cavity-causing bacteria for excellent check-ups. It makes optimum oral health care easier and enjoyable. Kids love the yummy taste and it gives parents peace of mind. $3.50 and up, www.amazon.com and www.oralcryst.com
ChicBoom When you want a break from your earphones, grab your ChicBoom Keychain Speaker to get the party started! Stylish and fits in the palm of your hand. This small accessory has a big sound with a 2 watt amplified speaker w/ 4 hours of quality sound. Built-in rechargeable battery— just plug into computer to charge and you’re ready to go! Perfect for the beach! $24.99, www.chicbuds.com
Iron Man 2 Turbo Racer The Iron Man 2 Turbo Racer from Silverlit Toys is a full function R/C car with incredibly high detail, professional level transmitter and digital speed and steering controls to deliver high speed turns and real feel racing. Ages 5 and up. $29.99, www.toysrus.com
Twinkle Toes Body Dust All natural, all pink, all glittery powder to sprinkle in ballet slippers, dance bags and all over your body before slipping into your tutu or any fabulous ensemble for a stylish spark. Perfect for girlie girls (even moms) who love to shimmer. Talc free. $5 and up, www.herbanrenewalinc.com
Dabba Walla Bags Send kids packing in style with these eye-opening bags. The fully washable, stain resistant and naturally insulating lunch bags and backpacks can take a lot of rough-n-tumble and yet are stylish enough to stand out from the crowd with their original and colorful designs. $30 and up, www.dabbawallabags.com
Vacation Isle: Beach Party for Wii Grab your surfboards and your Wii Balance Board and bring the party into your living room. When the family can’t travel to far away destinations, this game can be the perfect getaway while staying in the comfort of home. $29.99, available where video games are sold
Master Lock Speed Dial Set-Your-Own Combination lock features a first of its kind design that opens on directional movements – up, down, left and right instead of the standard rotary dial. The lock is faster to open than traditional locks, saving student’s valuable time as they hurry to and from classes. $7.99 and up, www.amazon.com
Blamtastic Kids love lip balm! This is the only line of lip balms created for kids by kids. It’s also the first lip balm for girls and guys. Made from only the finest ingredients, made in the USA and not tested on animals. $2.99 and up, www.blamtastic.com
7 34 | August 2010
Waste Free Lunch Kit This hip, machine washable, neoprene messenger lunch bag has a removable front flap that can be exchanged with up to 9 trend-setting designs, making this the last lunch kit you will ever need. Everything you need to pack the perfect lunch. Dishwasher safe; lead and BPA free. $42, www.everydayjun.com Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter
â€œWhere Dancers Growâ€? Celebrating 40 Years of Dance Excellence!
REGISTER NOW FOR THE FALL! Call or visit us on the web for registration information.
OFFERING SPECIALIZED CLASSES IN: Jazz â€˘ Tap â€˘ Ballet â€˘ Hip Hop Children â€˘ Teen â€˘ Adult Creative Dance for Pre-Schoolers 2 year old Mommy & Me
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August 2010 | 35
Tale Spin Stories Read-to-Me Book Reviews By Kathryn Ross, a.k.a. “Miss Kathy”
hildren are naturally selfish creatures. Words flow from their mouths without thinking of their consequences. I remember this truth from my own childhood. By summer’s end, my sister and I might be at odds and ugly words would fly between us and our neighbor chums. Tracing back who said what to who set off a domino effect of ill feelings. Confinement to our rooms until tempers settled only gave us more time to stew about what so-and-so said that hurt our tender hearts. We’ve all been there. And our children will not escape it, either. Enter Snail Started It! for a good dose of read-aloud and intelligent conversation on the topic of ugly words that tear you down, compared to good words that build you up. Snail learned this lesson when he announced to a pig the fact that said pig was “fat.” Poor Pig allowed those careless words to sink deep into his heart. Self-doubt and anger set in, causing Pig to make a remark to Rabbit, who in turn makes a remark to Dog, who insults Spider, who takes a swipe at Goose, who then has the nerve to tell Snail he’s just too “slow.” Wow! Did Snail know that his careless reference to Pig’s appearance would result in his own feelings being hurt by another careless word? Joyfully, he does when he sees the truth in the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Now, the dominos move in reverse. Snail decides to use the magic words, “I’m Sorry!” and apologizes to Pig, who in turn, is so built up that he uses the same healing words on Rabbit and so on. All these powerful character building lessons are rolled into a thoroughly entertaining story that will have young ones laughing out loud in some parts, yet feeling the various characters’ pain in others. Angela von Roehl’s media mix of pencil, pastel and paint in gentle hues creates the landscape within which our animal friends live, a treat for the eyes and imagination, complementing Katja Reider’s simple and profound text where children will see themselves in the plot progression. In the end, forgiveness breeds contentment and summer’s end may joyfully be delayed for just a bit longer as peace reigns.
36 | August 2010
THEME: The Power of Words! BOOK: Snail Started It!
AUTHOR: Katja Reider ILLUSTRATOR: Angela Von Roehl EAN: 9780735811423 Follow-up Activity: Here’s a great opportunity for one of those “Teachable Moments!” Have a section of your home library set aside for a collection of books, such as Snail Started It!, that teach important moral truths. When character conflicts come up in a child’s behavior, pull out the cookies and milk and settle down for some one-on-one time with a storybook parable to help your child understand complex growth concepts. Taking the time to discuss these concepts, rather than just requiring “don’t do this,” plants a character value seed in fertilized soil rather than fallow ground. Beauty and blossoms are apt to grow. Kathryn Ross is a professional storyteller celebrating the love of learning and literacy with children of all ages. She hosts Tale Spin Stories every Tuesday for preschoolers at the Cumberland Mall in Vineland. To learn more about Miss Kathy programs from Pageant Wagon Productions, visit www.pwpstorytellers.com.
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For a complete list of events, log onto www.southjerseymom.com
To submit your event, send an email to email@example.com. Entries are due six weeks prior to the event and are filled on a first come first serve basis. Space is limited. ATLANTIC COUNTY Alice in Wonderland’s “Tea Party” August 7 from 12 to 2 p.m. Alice invites kids to have “tea.” Please don’t be late! Storybook Land, 6415 Black Horse Pike (routes 40 & 322), Egg Harbor Township. (609)646-0103 (Ext. 5) or www. storybookland.com. Atlantic County 4-H Fair August 5–7 3-day horse, livestock and poultry shows; antique engines and tractors exhibit, commercial exhibits, 4-H events, rides and fair games, nightly entertainment. Chicken BBQ on Thurs @ 4 p.m. FREE; parking $3. 3210 Rte 50, between Mays Landing and Egg Harbor City, 1 mile south of Egg Harbor City. (609) 625 0056.
BURLINGTON COUNTY Children’s Nature Program: Herptile Hunt August 11 at 2:30 p.m. Park Rangers Ed Klitz and Chris Moscatiello will lead a walk around Smith’s Woods to look for reptiles and amphibians. Wear waterproof boots. Historic Smithville Park - Smith’s Woods Access, E. Railroad Ave, Eastampton. Registration required. For all ages. Free. (609)265-5068.
CAMDEN COUNTY Touch a Truck August 14 Many different trucks for children to enjoy as well as games and treats. Held at the Promenade in Marlton. Benefits the Ronald McDonald House of Southern New Jersey. (856) 9664663 or firstname.lastname@example.org for info. Peach, Princess and Pirate Party Family Festival August 14 & 15 Join the party for NJ’s favorite summer fruit with crafts, a planting activity & treasure hunt. Children encouraged to dress in Princess or Pirate costume. Enjoy Jersey Peaches and peach products. Camden Children’s Garden, 3 Riverside Dr., Camden.www.camdenchildrens garden.org. Tween Luau August 7 from 6 to 8 p.m. Dress in your beach wear as TAB hosts a luau for tweens. Parents need to fill out a permission form for your www.southjerseymom.com
child. For ages 8-12 yrs ONLY. Voorhees Library, 203 Laurel Rd, Voorhees. (856) 772-1636. Movie under the Stars How To Train Your Dragon August 27 at 8:15 p.m. Watch a movie under the stars with your family. Bring chairs, blankets, snacks and enjoy the show. Lindenwold Park, 1000 United States Ave, Lindenwold. www.ccparks.com.
CAPE MAY COUNTY Sports Card, Toy, Comic & Collectibles Expo August 27–29 120+ tables of the hottest collectibles on the planet at the Wildwoods Convention Center. For more info visit www.RKSportsPromotions.com. Disney’s High School Musical August 1-14 A story of high school students struggling with issues of popularity, first love, and the value of friends and family. With positive themes like the importance of self-expression, believing in yourself and following dreams, this new fun-tastic family-friendly musical captivates and entertains and is sure to be enjoyed by audiences of all ages. Surflight Theatre is located at Engleside and Beach Avenues, Beach Haven. For show times, call (609) 4929477 or visit www.surflight.org. Pirate Magic Show August 12 from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Do you have what it takes to be a pirate? Join Mark the Magician for a pirate magic show! Every child receives a magic library card and kazoo for the kazoo symphony! Enjoy cake and raffle drawings to celebrate their reading accomplishments. All ages welcome. Cape May Court House Library, 30 Mechanic St, Cape May Court House. (609) 4636350 or www.cmclibrary.org Short Story Workshop for Teens August 25 from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. If you are 12-18 years old and love to write, the Cape May County Library encourages you to sign up for the “Teen Short Story Workshop.” Teens will work on a short story and see it develop from a simple idea into a completed narrative. The workshop will be under the tutelage of Keri Mikulski, local author of the
popular series, “Screwball.” Main Library 30 Mechanic St, Cape May Court House. Must register. (609) 4636350 or www.cmclibrary.org.
CUMBERLAND COUNTY Diary of a Wimpy Kid Club August 3, 10 & 17 from 2 to 3 p.m. Discuss a different Wimpy Kid book each week! Ages 9-15. Books are provided by the Family Success Center of Vineland/ South Jersey Healthcare. Registration required. Register only if you are able to make it to the program each week. Vineland Public Library, 1058 E. Landis Ave, Vineland. (856) 794-4244 or www.vinelandlibrary.org. Boys & Girls Club’s “Jam in the Park” August 21 & 22 from 12 to 8 p.m. Jams In the City Entertainment and the Boys & Girls Club of Vineland are again teaming up to present thousands of men, women and children with a weekend of entertainment, culture, relaxation and togetherness. Free. Giampietro Park, E. Landis Ave, Vineland. (856) 982-1760. Police Youth Week August 23–28 The Vineland Police Department is currently recruiting young boys and girls, 13-17 years old, from the Vineland area, to participate in Police Youth Week (P.Y.W.). P.Y.W. is a weeklong camp geared toward youth who are Cumberland County residents and interested in law enforcement. Candidates must be in good health, sound mind and have no criminal arrest record. This is an overnight camp for one week. Space is limited. (856) 691-4111 ext 4156.
GLOUCESTER COUNTY Autism Speaks Family Fun Day August 15 Clementon Park and Splash World is hosting Autism Family Fun Day. Offering discounted tickets of $17.50 plus tax. Contact your local Autism Speaks Office or www.southernnewjersey@ autismspeaks.org. Seussical the Musical August 13–22 Watch as the classic stories of Dr. Seuss come to life on our stage in a high energy stage show, narrated by The Cat in the Hat himself. Tickets are $12.50. Broadway Theatre of Pitman,
things 2 do
43 S. Broadway, Pitman. (856) 384-8381 or www.thebroadwaytheatre.org for show times. Large Reptile Show August 5 at 10:30 a.m. Bring the entire family for the Reptile show. Children and families are invited. Locke Avenue Park, 58 Locke Ave, Swedesboro. (856) 467-2666 or www.co.gloucester.nj.us. Powerful You! Networking July 8 from 7 to 9:30 p.m. Open to women interested in networking & connecting w/ other women on a business level. Adelphia’s, 1750 Clements Bridge Rd, Deptford. (609) 560-8370 or shaun6@ comcast.net; www.powerful you.com. Newfield Day & Newfield Library Peach Social August 22 from 12 to 5 p.m. Newfield Public Library will hold its annual Old Fashioned Peach Social on Newfield Day in The Grove along with all the other Newfield Day festivities. Top off your chicken barbecue with a delicious peach pie, peach cobbler or other assorted homemade goodies. Takeout available. Spectacular fireworks display at dusk! (856) 697-0415.
SALEM COUNTY An Old Time Country Fair August 3–6 from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. Pig races every evening, Team Penning (Thursday), Ladies Skillet Throw and Children Pedal Pull nightly. Musical entertainment and BBQ. Salem County Fairgrounds, 735 Route 40, Woodstown. Free; Parking $5 for all 4 days. (856) 769-0414 or (856) 769-3494. 2nd Annual National Night Out August 4 from 6 to 9 p.m. National Night Out is designed to heighten crime and drug prevention awareness; generate support for, and participation in, local anticrime efforts; strengthen neighborhood spirit and police-community partnerships; and send a message to criminals letting them know neighborhoods are organized and fighting back. www.salemcountynj.gov or www.pittsgrovetownship.com for more info.
August 2010 | 37
TUMBLIN’ TOTS – ADVENTURES IN EXERCISE FOR BOYS AND GIRLS Classes include movement, music, sports activities, games, listening and cooperation. For children 18 months-5 years. Visit www.tumblintots.net for class locations. Questions, contact Jenn @ (856) 912-3079. Reasonable rates to fit in your budget. Register now for fall classes!
ORDER YOUR PARTY ICE CREAM CAKE AT MULLICA HILL CARVEL TODAY! Try our delicious cakes, novelties & fountain ice cream products! Custom flavors & designs. Gluten & egg free available. Made fresh daily; open year round. Mention this ad for 15% discount for August. Have your next party at Carvel! (856) 478-4599.
BRING DOWN THE COST OF GROWING UP AT KIDSTUFF! KIDSTUFF consignment shop specializes in superior preowned clothes for kids. Vast selection of high quality & designer brands, all in excellent condition at fraction of original cost. Recycle your child’s “still like-new” clothing back into cash! www.kidstuff.vpweb.com, (856) 589-7171.
FOR THE HOME CAN’T GET THE TOYS, LAUNDRY AND OTHER KID STUFF UNDER CONTROL? If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the “stuff” consuming your house, let BB’s Clutter Solutions reduce your stress, create order and help you find a place for everything...for good. Contact Barbara Berman at (856) 912-0077 or www.bb-clutter-solutions.com and get your house back today!
GIFT IDEAS GREAT PERSONALIZED GIFTS FOR ALL AGES At JUST FOR LITTLE PEOPLE (and others, too!) we specialize in new baby gifts both hand-painted or embroidered. Beautifully wrapped and available for pick-up at our new Gibbsboro location, or we can ship it for you. Call (856) 627-8901 or check out www.justforlittlepeople.com.
ABRAKADOODLE ARTY PARTIES! Celebrate CREATIVELY! Abrakadoodle CUSTOMIZED Arty Parties are EASY for parents & SUPER FUN for kids. All artwork FRAMED—the BEST PARTY GIFT ever! Hosted at your location, we bring artfully FUN teacher, materials & frames. Visit www.abrakadoodle.com/nj01 or call (856) 914-0521.
PEDIATRIC OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY NEED HELP GUIDING YOUR CHILD’S DEVELOPMENTAL JOURNEY? At The Schlinic, happy childhoods are our specialty. Kids come for awesome motor equipment, fun sensory experiences and developmental play. Parents come for answers, professionals who listen, assessments and research-supported intervention. Learn more at www.schlinic.com or call Dr. Jodi at (856) 692-9292.
WILLS & INSURANCE WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN? Appointing Guardians for your minor children is one of the most important aspects of Estate Planning. Complimentary initial consultation. Mention this ad and receive 15% discount for August. Contact James F Fahy, Esq., LLC to learn more. Call (856) 287-3107 or email JFahylaw@verizon.net.
HEALTH & WELLNESS ARE YOU READY TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF? Want to improve your eating habits, increase your energy and understand your food cravings? Turning Leaf Nutrition and Wellness will develop a personalized program that will radically improve your health and happiness. One conversation can change your life. (856) 912-3709, www.turningleaf-wellness.com.
JOB OPPORTUNITIES RAISE YOUR INCOME WHILE RAISING YOUR FAMILY You can make extra money without putting the kids in daycare. You set your own hours. No billing, no collections, no carrying inventory, no large investment. Great local support. Call us today at (856) 305-7680.
38 | August 2010
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watching your child’s
The Center for Autism Research at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia is looking for participants for a research study focusing on early brain development.
Who are we looking for? • Infant siblings of typically developing children • Infant siblings of children with autism
Dancing with Mommy Creative Dance 18 months to 3yrs old 3yrs to 5yrs old Hippity Hop Ages 4 to 6 All classes boys & girls! Also available 6 yrs & older: Hip Hop Ballet Tap Jazz Musical Theatre Register now for Fall classes Educating the Youth of South Jersey for 39 years
5360 Route 42 • Whitman Plaza Turnersville
Need Quality Child Care at Your Convenience? Drop In and See Us!
ENJOY REAL VALUE with our ALL-DAY STIMULUS PASS!!! Only $36/person for anyone over 48” $27/person for 48” & under
• Dress Up Stage • Napping Room • Outdoor Fenced Play Area • Group Activities • Gated Area for Toddlers • Special Events
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Visit our website for upcoming events www.basicallybabysittingMS.com
Basically Babysitting of Maple Shade
Includes: • FREE Parking at participating lots Moms love Splash Zone • Pancakes • Slice of Pizza too… it’s fun, clean, safe • Unlimited Coca Cola Fountain and fully-gated! Drinks • $1 Miniature Golf Game Special rates for camps, recreation groups, daycare centers, and others. (before 5 pm & after 10 pm) Call 609-729-5600, x10 or visit our website • Tram Car Coupon at splashzonewaterpark.com (M-F, 11 am – 5:30 pm)
Open All Day Saturday
450 S. Lenola Road (Mealy's Shopping Center) Maple Shade NJ 08052
Sunday hours start Aug 29 856.273.0137 12-5 Hours: Monday-Thursday 7:30am-7pm Friday 7:30am-9pm • Saturday 7:30am-10pm • Sunday 12pm-5pm
Play and Learn Without the High Price! www.southjerseymom.com
SPLASH ZONE WATER PARK | WILDWOOD, NJ | 609-729-5600 August 2010 | 39
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