OY VEY
JEWISH JOKE
OY VEY! HAVE I GOT A PROBLEM... Dear Rachel, sonality. Along with est kid with a sunny per eet sw the is , It may Jay , son My he often forgets things. nature is the issue that ing ygo eas picture. us, the icio get del his ignments – you test paper, homework ass ned sig his 10-yearch, ry ng lun hu , his be ture a very sad ing on the counter, I pic sitt ch lun often, d his An see s. I en che Wh ing on their lun friends happily munch his all ing w that tch No . wa cue boy res old d dash off to the I work from home – an – ng doi bling. I’m ena at or e wh p lov sto I if I’m showing r occurrence, I wonder ula reg a ing om bec is s thi l? What’s your take, Rache Signed, A Loving Mom Dear Mom, You certainly are a loving Mom, and what a priceless gift that is for any child. You don’t want Jay to go through a long school day hungry, nor do you want him to get into trouble because of forgotten assignments. So, when do you save him and when do you step back? From your last line, it sounds like you know the answer to your dilemma. But often, knowing the right thing is one thing and implementing it is another. If Jay were typically responsible with only an occasional omission, I don’t think it would be harmful to drive the forgotten item over to school. Anyone can have an off-day, adults included, and he is probably berating himself enough without having to undergo the consequences of his forgetfulness. But in the situation you described this is becoming a regular occurrence. So, let’s imagine what may happen if you allow the natural consequences to unfold. “Everyone please take out your homework,” Teacher says. Jay turns white and fumbles around in his backpack. Unfortunately, his search does not yield positive results. “Jay?” Teacher asks, “Do you have the assignment?” “I forgot it at home,” Jay mumbles. Teacher’s lips purse in a straight, disapproving line. “I understand. During recess, I will give you the sheets and you can complete the work at that time.” Jay slumps down in his seat. A missed recess! How unfair is that?! When Jay comes home, he is on the warpath. “Why didn’t you come?” Jay yells the second he storms into the house. “I waited for you, you saw it on the table, and it’s all your fault that I had to miss recess!” “Oh, wow,” you say with compassion. “Sounds like you had a rough day. You forgot your homework, thought I’d be able to bring it to school, but instead you had to miss recess?” Jay may continue with his rampage, or he may stomp off to lick his wounds in private. Either way, the message you conveyed is clear: you messed up, and there are consequences. Typically, if Jay faces natural consequences for his irresponsibility several times, he will start remembering to bring the things he needs on a typical school day. Isn’t it better to experience small negative consequences now rather than experience large and more painful repercussions as an adult? Remember when Jay was learning to walk, and you stepped back so that he would come towards you? You are doing the same thing at this stage; you are moving away to help him move forward in a productive way. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Often, the older kids get, the harder it becomes. Yet at the same time, it can be so richly rewarding. Pat yourself on the back for having the courage and strength to help Jay in this area. With your help, hopefully he will attain the tools that can lead to a successful and more meaningful life. Wishing you all the best in your parenting journey, Rachel Atlanta Jewish Times Advice Column Got a problem? Email Rachel Stein, a certified life coach, at oyvey@ atljewishtimes.com describing your problem in 250 words or less. We want to hear from you and get helpful suggestions for your situation at the same time! 54 | DECEMBER 31, 2021 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
Census
The census taker comes to the Rabinovich house. “Does Abram Rabinovich live here?” he asks. “No,” replies Rabinovich. “Well, then, comrade, what is your name?” “Abram Rabinovich.” “Wait a minute — didn’t you just tell me that Rabinovich doesn’t live here?” “Aha,” says Rabinovich. “You call this living?”
YIDDISH WORD fetter
n. uncle (also onkel) “When can we visit my fetter, Uncle Dan?”