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Walla Walla University


Collegian 8 May 2014 | Volume 98 | Issue 23





my secret

P. 11



Grant Perdew Editor-In-Chief

Each week, we openly encourage readers to contribute to The Collegian. Because The Collegian is a medium of the voices of our community, it absolutely relies on contribution from the campus and community to continue the service that this publication provides. I hope to incorporate as much diverse expression as I can to support our own fantastic staff of students. And I want to make clear that The Collegian is a safe place for all types of expression. In last week’s Religion special issue, The Collegian featured numerous different perspectives, and I wish more could have been included. If there is ever a lack of representation of the entire campus, it is only due to a lack of contributors from these ideologies. I want to emphasize that central to The Collegian’s purpose is the desire to be a safe place for all members of this community to express their opinions and explore their beliefs.



If you’ve been waiting for an invitation to contribute to The Collegian, here it is. Do you have an opinion and want your voice to be heard? This publication is and has been here as a means for you to do so by speaking with any staff member or emailing aswwu.collegian@ Contributing takes initiative, like most things in life worth doing. But as Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If you’d like to take contribution a step further and get paid to write or work for The Collegian, you can find a list of open positions on page 15 of this week’s issue.

want to be featured in the collegian? Submit your poetry, articles, creative writing, art, and photos to:





photo by jonathan moore

photo by aswwu

photo by aswwu

News | #thecollegian | Calendar | Briefing Fundraiser Update | Opinion | Contributor

Snapshots | Diversions | ACA/SM Creative Writing | Portland | Religion Culture | ASWWU Video | Outdoors

Sports | Open ASWWU Positions | Science Backword


Assistant Editor Nathan Stratte

Head Layout Editor Alix Harris

Head Copy Editor

Lauren Heathcock

Head Photo Editor

Kurtis Lamberton

News Editor

Carolyn Green

Feature Editors

Brooklynn Larson Katie Pekar Brandon Torkelsen

Opinion Editors

Carlton Henkes Rebecca Williams Andrew Woodruff

Fashion Editor

Alyssa Hartwick

Sports Editor

Grayson Andregg

Religion Editor John Lubke

health & Outdoors Editor Justin Mock

Diversions Editor Eric Weber

Travel Editor Jon Mack

Science & Technology Editor Joe Hughes

Food EDitor

Andrea Johnson

Layout Designers

Andralyn Iwasa Samantha Schnell Ian Smith

Copy Editors

Carly Leggitt Rachel Blake Jassica Choi

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, contact our page editors or the editor-in-chief at The Collegian is boosted by regularly incorporating a wide range of student perspectives. Photo Credit: Greg Khng, Jacjacattack32, Carlton Henkes, Pinterest user Thalia

Staff Writers

Backword Editor Rachel Logan

Lester Biggs Savannah Kisling Lauren Lewis

The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu.collegian@ or This issue was completed at 11:35 p.m. on 7 May 2014.

Creative Writing Editor

Distribution Manager

For information about advertising, please contact

Culture EditoR

Timothy Barbosa

Rachel Blake


Madeleine Boyson Micah Hall

Mark Roesler

The Collegian | Volume 98, Issue 23 | 204 S. College Avenue College Place, WA 99324 |


to build a home moves to uganda // carolyn green News Editor There has been a major change to the direction of the To Build A Home fundraising project. ASWWU Fundraising announced in Tuesday's CommUnity that the project has been moved to Uganda. ASWWU Fundraising chose To Build A Home as WWU’s annual fundraising project in September 2013. The mission of the team is this: “At WWU, we have chosen to help children who have nothing. Our goal is to provide the basic necessity — a loving home. Regardless of where we focus our efforts, this need does not change, and we are committed to build[ing] a home.” The plan was to build a home on land belonging to ADRA Peru for 12 orphans who had nowhere else to go. ADRA Peru has decided to go a different direction with the aid that they want to give the community in Checacupe, Peru, and invited WWU to continue working with them in communitybased intervention goals, which is where they wanted to place their efforts. After much consideration, ASWWU Fundraising officers, along with many volunteers who have been part of the To Build A Home project, decided that maintaining the integrity of the

original goal — building a home for children who have nothing — was what they wanted to work towards. The official statement from the Fundraising Team reads: “Students, faculty, staff, and donors, Due to a change of direction from our original partners, ADRA Peru, ASWWU will be changing location with our project. ADRA Peru has decided that community based interventions is the direction they want to go and that changes the original aim of To Build a Home, which was to provide a home for children who don’t have one. While community interventions are also important, ADRA Peru’s change means we will no longer be able to build a structure that provides a home for children. We are looking forward to working with our new partner in Uganda, an orphanage named Christalis. We thank all of you for your continued donations and support.”

“The board of Christalis and their major donors have decided to match, dollar for dollar, whatever ASWWU can fundraise.”

Choosing another project was a lengthy process, but the team finally decided on helping Christalis, an organization that gives a home to orphaned and abandoned children in Uganda. Christalis was founded in 2005 by Shalini Davis who saw the need for an orphanage while she was on a mission trip.

tin man // lauren Lewis Staff Writer The Walla Walla University Tin Man Triathlon is only a few weeks away. It will be held on Sunday, May 18, starting at 9 a.m. in the WEC. The mini-triathlon starts with a 500yard swim, a 20-kilometer bike ride, and a 5-kilometer run. Students can participate individually or in a team, which has three different gender options: all-female, allmale, or co-ed. The 10-lap swim will be

Christalis owns 2.5 acres of property but has been unable to build a home so far because of their lack of funds. Currently, Christalis rents a building much too small for the 30 children and their caretakers to live. This is not an adequate situation because the owner of the home can evict them at any time, and this has happened in the past. ASWWU Fundraising has committed to helping raise the funds for this building to be built so that Christalis can have a permanent home for their children, without the fear of eviction.

The board of Christalis and their major donors have decided to match, dollar for dollar, whatever ASWWU can fundraise. With ASWWU's goal of $100,000 and the match, $200,000 can be put into the To Build A Home project in Uganda. Because of the Ugandan economy and the organization of Christalis, a home will be able to be built for $50,000 in Uganda, about half of the price of a home to be built in Peru.

wwudrama presents held in the WWU swimming pool. The 12-mile bike ride route will be out to Forest Road and back to the WEC. And lastly, the 3.1-mile run will take runners in a box route to 12th Street and back to the WEC. Detailed instructions will be given to participants at the event. All bikers must bring their own helmets, and appropriate costumes are encouraged. Winners will receive cash prizes ranging from $25–45. Participants can sign up online at Shine your shoes and continue training — we’ll see you at 9 a.m.!

"Oh, Gastronomy!" Don't forget to see the new play starting this weekend, featuring a series of culinary shorts with sweets & treats for the audience. Saturday, May 10, 9 p.m. Sunday, May 11, 2 p.m. Thursday, May 15, 8 p.m. Saturday, May 17, 9 p.m. Sunday, May 18, 2 p.m. Black Box Theatre $8 | WWU students, faculty and staff $9 | Students $10 | General Admission $2 | Thursday

SENATE UPDATE New Business G.L. 25 — Personnel Manual Revision

Visitors are welcome! Join us at 9 p.m. on Thursdays in WEC 217. “The children remain in the home until they are adults, and the home parents and sponsors do everything they can to help the children become self-supporting once they are in their 20s, but the Christalis home will always be their real home,” said Lydia Kore, a member of the ASWWU fundraising team. For more information about To Build A Home in Uganda, contact Kiana Myers, Lydia Kore, Austin Roberts, or email aswwu.fundraising@



Black Rice Pudding

off 1 entree

(with purchase of entree)

with valid student id

not valid with any other offer All-You-Can-Eat Buffet | $8.99 Thursday, Friday, & Sunday | 11 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.

Phad Thai or Thai Noodle Soup | $7.00 Tuesday







thai cuisine

1528 e. isaacs (509) 529-8889


week in forecast 27 FEB Thursday 8 may 46° 72° 39° 45°

9 may


41° 66° 34° 41°

photo by arella aung

45° 66° 34° 41°

photo by janelle aguilera

InTents: Adan Rodarte & Justin Walker 7 p.m. Kretschmar Lawn No Socks Day

1 mar 10 may Saturday photo by kate gref

InTents: Randy Folkenberg 7 p.m. Kretschmar Lawn Vespers: AGA Mother's Day Weekend 8 p.m. University Church

2 mar 11 may sunday 46° 48° 30° 66°

photo by jonathan moore

InTents: Rob Folkenberg 7 p.m. Kretschmar Lawn Evensong 7:30 p.m. University Church Gatsby Gala 8:30 p.m. Fairgrounds Pavilion

To Build A Home: Color Run 8:30 a.m. Old Rogers’ Field wwudrama: Oh, Gastronomy 2 p.m. Black Box Theatre

wwudrama: Oh, Gastronomy 9 p.m. Black Box Theatre

3 mar 12 MAy monday

4 mar 13 MAy tuesday

photo by flickr user jeffreyturner

photo by arella aung

photo by creative commons

photo by carlton henkes

36° 75° 27° 52°

International Nurses Day

37° 84° 39° 55°

5 mar 14 MAy wednesday

photo by ivan cruz

43° 86° 34° 50°

photo by flickr user leo reynolds

CommUnity: Dr. Sharon K. Stoll, Ph.D. 11 a.m. University Church General Recital 7:30 p.m. FAC Frog Jumping Day

photo by julie persons

Dance Like a Chicken Day



$100,000 “We have pulled them back. Today they are not at the Ukrainian border but in places of regular exercises, at training grounds.” — Vladimir Putin, Russian president, on the current location of his troops

“Racial realism may be unavoidable for the time being, but we must still be wary of its excesses, lest it lead us back down the road toward racial discrimination.”

“So go ahead. Enjoy those lentils. Chow down on the cabbage. Then if you stink a little, think of it as a thank you gesture from your microbiome.”

— John D. Skrentny, professor of sociology at UCSD, on the dangers of filling positions on the basis of race

— Michaeleen Doucleff, NPR blogger, on the healthfulness of passing gas


me Proje

Ho To Build A

$7.5 billion paid by NBC to extend their Olympic media rights through 2032 | $41,847 spent by an Italian chocolatier to construct a 1.5-ton life-sized chocolate sculpture of Pope Francis | $1.5 billion spent to construct a giant arch in Chernobyl, Ukraine, to cover the dilapidated shelter which now covers the remains of the nuclear reactor which exploded there in April 1986 | 200 tons of radioactive fuel is still inside the destroyed reactor | 1.4 ounces of marijuana were left in "amnesty boxes" at the Colorado Springs airport this year | 680 Muslim Brotherhood supporters recently sentenced to death by Egpyt for violence and killing policemen | 120 EU peacekeepers arrived in Bangui, the capital of the Central African Republic, last Wednesday. More than 2,000 people have been killed since Christian fighters supporting the ousted president tried to take the capital back from Muslim rebels | in 29 states it is legal to fire employees for their sexual orientation | +225% is the change in Facebook activity of a person on the day he or she is dumped Sources: NPR, NYTimes, Harper's Magazine

Fundraising Week | MAY 11–18




To Build A Home launch at the University Church







Del Taco 4–8 p.m.






Bright’s Candies 12–4 p.m.





Taqueria Yungapeti

Blue Palm






Color Run* Sweet Basil

*Sign up at














Head to a participating restaurant each day and they will donate a percentage of the earnings to the To Build a Home project.

International Food Fair 11 a.m.–3 p.m.




A few weeks ago while scrolling through my Facebook news feed, one of my friends posted a status that was actually worth reading. It was simple, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since: “Stop the glorification of busy.” As we’re going through midterms, writing papers, and beginning to look ahead to the final weeks of the school year, it’s easy to get the feeling that “I’m in over my head.” Ask any of your friends how they have been or how their week is going, and nearly all will reply, “Well, I’ve just been so busy.”

the golden door // Rebecca Williams

immigration, or, as I would say, how can we make the United States more accessible to those who need it without destroying our current economy?

Immigration is a complicated issue for our government. There are many factors that must be considered when developing immigration policies and laws: economics, national security, cross-border relations, public health, and international conventions. A large issue in consideration is how to put a stop to illegal

Even immigrants who come to the United States legally struggle unnecessarily. Earlier this year, I had a conversation with a Mexican woman who had been in the United States for three years and still did not speak English. She had been called lazy, stupid, and unwanted simply because she spoke Spanish. This woman wanted

“Give me your tired, your poor Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free The wretched refuse of your teeming shore Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Busy means I have the opportunity to go to college and take classes that are preparing me for life in the real world. Busy means I have a loving family who wants to Skype me every week. Busy means I have a good job that helps me pay for living expenses while I’m in school. Busy means I have good friends that want to spend time with me. In the end, I guess busy means I’m doing just fine. to learn English; she had a college education from a university in Mexico but worked in a meatpacking plant (the only job with enough hours available to a non-English-speaking Mexican woman) with other Mexican immigrants who did not speak English. She worked at this factory (to which she had to walk) 12 hours a day, six days a week, and then came home to cook and clean for her husband and take care of her five children. There are many like this woman from various countries who find themselves in similar situations in the United States. They come here, legally or illegally, in search of what they cannot find in their home countries. They uproot themselves, hoping that if they can't achieve their dream, at least their children will have a chance. Many immigrants are caught in a vicious cycle plagued by a lack of education and ugly stereotypes. Some U.S. citizens feel that their national identity is threatened by immigrants. But the United States is a unique entity in that its national identity is largely based on multiculturalism, and thrives on diversity (or it should). The solution to the issues surrounding immigration will not be simple. It must involve educational programs, occupation availability, global awareness on the part of U.S. citizens, and a great many other elements. However, what should be at the forefront of the minds making these decisions should be the words of Emma Lazarus: “Give me your tired, your poor Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free ...”

(See footnotes at

Michelangelo’s David statue is at risk of crumbling. Don't worry: the important bits will be preserved.

Sony designs cassette tape that stores more data than 3,700 Blu-Rays.


Stephen Hawking warns of the dangers of advancing artificial intelligence.

Ditch your iPods and dust off your Walkmans!

Hawking fears AI may be his only intellectual rival.

Naked man doing pushups in middle of road hit by car. No pain, no gain ...

Detroit teacher is fired for stopping a student fight using a broomstick.


These are the words engraved on a bronze plaque placed on the pedestal that supports the Statue of Liberty, a monument that has come to represent freedom and democracy. These immortal words used to give those leaving their war-torn, prejudicial countries hope and a sense of belonging. But do Emma Lazarus’ words still ring true today? Or are they just an empty promise that lingers in the thoughts of those in search of a better life?

The majority of illegal immigrants enter the United States in search of a better life, not necessarily for themselves, but for their families.1 Before entering the U.S., many live in extreme poverty and struggle to provide for their families. The process of becoming a permanent resident of the United States is unnecessarily lengthy, expensive, and convoluted. Those who come to the United States illegally feel that they cannot wait the one, two, or even eight years it would take for them to become a permanent resident.2 More than half of the undocumented immigrant population has a high school degree or higher, and yet, because of their situation, they obtain jobs that are well below their education level. Their longing for something better often places them in undesirable economic circumstances, yet is still better than their previous situation.3

Opinion Editor

So, what do you do when you’ve got a test, two projects, six assignments, and a school bill to pay? As Bing Crosby once sang, “When I’m worried, and cannot sleep, I count my blessings, instead of sheep.” What if we looked at all of our sources of stress not as problems but as blessings?


I’m just as guilty as anyone. When my friend Beth texted me a few weeks ago from Andrews University — they’re already done with school

The next week when Beth texted to ask how I was doing, I told her, “I’m busy — but it’s good.” She seemed surprised at my answer, since usually “busy” has a pretty negative connotation. I remember learning about good and bad stress in a Concepts of Wellness class I took my freshman year at Union College. We looked at the causes of stress and how it’s actually beneficial to have some “stress” in your life, though not necessarily in the common meaning of the word. This “good stress” is the motivation to get something done. It comes from balanced amounts of every day tasks — staying in touch with friends,


Teacher claims self-defense against the dust pan.

Man robs waffle house with a pitchfork. All he wanted was a waffle-y BIG farmer's breakfast.



So, why do we glorify this type of “busy” like it’s a curve ball life threw at us? I was expecting to go through college and never be busy — I’m shocked! No one really thinks that. We all knew it was coming. But when you feel like you’re drowning in homework, it’s easy to get the busy blues.




College is busy. Life is busy. It’s full of tests to take, bills to pay, people to see, and tons of other little to-dos that never get done. Am I the only one who has homework? No. Am I the only one taking a midterm tomorrow? No. Everyone else is swamped, too. I’m not special. But is busy so bad after all?

doing the dishes, paying bills, and yes, doing homework and studying.



out there — she asked what I had been doing and how my life was going. “Beth, my life is crazy,” I told her. “I have so much homework; I’m so busy.” But then I stopped to think. Isn’t this what I signed up for?

SNAPSHOTS 8 photo by troy isaacs

photo by troy isaacs

photo by vitaliy krivoruk

photo by troy isaacs

photo by vitaliy krivoruk

photo by aswwu

photo by vitaliy krivoruk

photo by aswwu

photo by carlton henkes


Eric Weber

Diversions Editor & Pontificator

speak up, i can't hear you //

I am a very opinionated person, and I don’t really have a problem expressing it. Just ask Dan Lamberton’s American West in Documents and Film class; they can vouch for me (I apologize). After growing up in a family of extroverted, Republican doctors, I’ve found that people aren’t as keen to share their perspectives as I am, which, I think, can be a problem. Hearing different perspectives and ideas is so important in academia because it gives us a chance to grow ... and also silently weep in the thirdfloor bathroom of Chan Shun when you realize everything you knew about math was wrong (I’m not speaking from experience, but if I were ...). Nevertheless, students of WWU, be proud of your opinions, stand up for what you believe in, and don’t be a crotchety bystander — complaining, but never acting. We have a diversity of opinions on this campus, and that’s something that should empower us, not scare us. Put a face to your name and make your voice heard, unless, of course, your voice is annoying; then, just write a letter, or maybe an email ... .

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I'm street smart,” all I hear is “I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart.”

for WWU Students and Faculty


The Abundance of Rain dan lamberton, humanities program director

I have some confessions to make —

along a tug-of-war rope, their haunches in the grass,

together, in that wood-paneled room near Seattle

they have to do with this century

and their heels dug in, and their arms showing they’re no

with rain washing down so hard we felt

and how much I don’t want to be led

different from me. A little differently muscled perhaps,

what we were doing was cleaned the second

along by it any further. They have to do

more formed by old work, by scythes and stone boats,

it happened? It’s not that our future was rain,

with today being nothing about tomorrow,

but they look like I do and they died. But first they enjoyed

but that its sound was a sound we both knew,

but, rather, about history and how

themselves. And look next at unclothed women, Muybridge’s

that took us out to itself and we heard, “There

all I know is before me, that is, before

panels of them, pouring water on each other’s heads,

has always been rain and there has always, therefore,

I was, and I confess that

picking up children. They have nothing Victorian

been you. Even more, there have always been

I search through old photographs

about them. They lived through all that and survived.

numberless thousands of you, not just

for reminders of who I am. If the people

now, not just all of you now who are blind,

in early Nebraska somehow hung pictures

There’s a haystack, “1947, Near Norfolk, Nebraska,”

but there was always this sound, rain’s and yours,

of their old homes in Virginia

in a Wright Morris photo. And I know that

pounding the outside and inside of walls

on the sod walls above their gritty beds,

each of those straws were arranged

like these, and the Indians’ leather walls,

and I am the grandchild made through them,

by the physics of elbows

and the hopeless poor people’s walls,

then I still carry their dissolved walls

and the leverage of hayforks

and also, alas, the walls of all those

in me, and I confess I want mostly what is past.

and that elbows and hayforks

whose ears are closed and who think

Granted, we live in two directions. There should be,

depended upon the occasional abundance of rain.

they’re creating the future.”

for the young, the chance to make children. But once made, have them look backward. Start

So that’s it. It’s about rain, and how I am

with pictures of the unclothed, with Eakins’ nude men

drawn back into it. Remember how we lay

the shock of return //

BY CARLY BARRUGA AND JESSICA IGARASHI One of the most stressful moments of my life occurred at ASWWU’s Midnight Breakfast. After 10-and-a-half fantastically exhausting months of serving as a student missionary, my feet were finally back on Walla Walla soil, and I was more than ready for a real American breakfast. At first, seeing all of my friends and eating French toast sticks was energizing. Before too long, however, it was clear that something was very, very, wrong. Everyone was taller than me, and significantly paler skinned — and they were everywhere. The room resonated with the sound of hundreds of college students, and as I stood in the center of it, I began to panic, frantically searching for a familiar face among the crowd. A room full of 27 boisterous three-year-olds had been nothing compared to the overwhelming sense of helplessness that I felt in that moment. My euphoria vanished, and I was reduced to a sobbing mess outside the Alaska Room. There is no doubt that the daily life of a student missionary in the field can be

difficult, but part of the process that typically remains untold is the struggle of re-entry. Going out as a student missionary, you are prepared to leave behind what is comfortable and embrace the excitement of the unknown. Coming back, on the other hand, is full of expectations — the expectation that the comforts of home will be just as you left them, the anticipation that the relationships you had will pick up right where they left off. But it’s not that easy. And things aren’t the way you remember them, because you are different. The people closest to me, in an attempt to be supportive, told me that I needed to just “get over it,” to move on — but what meant moving forward to those around me sounded a lot like forgetting the life I had just been a part of and letting go of the memories I was trying so hard to hold on to. But as any returned SM can attest to, the experience is one that never leaves you, and I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t have to. Time is the only thing that can

alleviate the ache (which, at times, is a physical one) of leaving behind a country, a culture, and people that you have grown to love — but there are still many nights when a photo, a friend, or even a familiar smell brings it all rushing back. There are returned student missionaries all over this campus. Some have been back for a matter of weeks, while others have been home for months, years, or even decades. Keep an eye out for them. While it might seem that their lives are “back to normal,” they are going through a world of changes and readjustments. Having a good support system is vital to the re-entry process, and people that can relate to what returned student missionaries are going through are extremely important. Ask them about their experiences in a way that allows them to openly share more than just a oneword response (“fine” usually does not mean just that). Understand that they will need some time to readjust. Part of what makes Walla Walla University so unique is the mindset of service and the wealth of experiences that so many of our students and professors carry. Our school is flavored with diversity, and that is something that a year abroad truly teaches you to embrace and appreciate.

Portland Update Rachel Liem

We all have that favorite place to study. Luckily for us, there are a million coffee shops, cafes, and restaurants here in Portland to choose from. Here’s one of my favorites: Townshend’s Tea 3531 SE Division Street When you first walk in, the waft of brewing tea envelops you in a warm, comfy blanket. Ok, that’s a little cliché, but this tea house is amazing — if you are a tea devotee like I am, this is the place for you. Not only do they have over 100 unique loose-leaf teas you can sniff and choose from, but they also offer boba and bubble teas, along with unique chai teas. The ambiance is relaxed and equipped with couches, cozy nooks, and lots of outlets to plug in. This is a perfect place for a study date with your MedSurg textbook ... or perhaps a real date? You tell me. Have a question about Portland Campus, teachers, anything? (Yes, we still do exist down here in Portland.) Have a nursing story to share? Shoot me an email and I may feature you next week!



My secret // Karly Joseph


I believe we all desire to be known and loved. We want to feel significant, to feel like we matter. These things are central to us and are the very core of who we are and what we need. And yet, because life is hard and things so often don’t go the way we wish or dream, we encounter pain. When it comes to our struggles, fears, and failures, how we respond is hugely important. Over and over in our lives, with actions more than words, we have to answer the question, “What do I do with my pain?” There are thousands of ways to cope, a thousand places to put our pain. There are healthy ways to cope: leaning on friends, having honest conversations, going to counseling or getting treatment, doing our best to believe better things, or even something as simple as diet and exercise. There are unhealthy ways as well. For many of us, we

begin to isolate ourselves so that no one can know or love us, or meet us in our questions. Instead of letting others help us fight to focus on the possibility of healing and change, we live alone, staring at whatever is broken or missing in us. We hide from God in our shame and we overcompensate, trying to control the pain ourselves. Some of us turn to drugs and alcohol. Some of us to self-harm. And some of us to eating disorders. But all of these things only seem to work at first, and then spin out of control, leading to addiction. We become chained to the very thing we thought might free us. This is why I decided to start the My Secret project on campus. Two years ago, I began hearing about the stories of students on campus who were struggling with some serious issues: depression, loneliness, and thoughts of suicide — I wanted to help. Inspired by the website Postsecret, I wanted to give students on campus a way to share their secrets anonymously. We live in a culture that tells us pain is a weakness; that if you have both parents and an education,

RELIGION|11 and you know Jesus, to be hurting is to be ungrateful. Sometimes it’s hard to confess our pain when everything on the surface looks just fine. So we hide our secrets and bury them deeper, only to make the problem worse. My Secret exists to say that those secrets don’t have to stay secrets forever. When we started the My Secret project two years ago, this was much more than a service project for me. I had been struggling with PTSD and its effects due to childhood abuse. I was hurting and I was alone, and came very close to taking my own life. This project for me was to take my pain and put it into something that would help others with pain of their own. What came from it was life-changing. Through the My Secret project, and through my experience here, I have learned that with every hurt in my life, the only real answer to my pain is Jesus. Having been abused, I have spent so much of my life feeling unclean and undeserving of love. But when I began to hear about Jesus and His incredible love for someone like me, it changed my life. To know that there is a God who sees my broken heart and loves me anyway, it changed the way I saw myself. The King of the universe died for me — all of me. The good parts and the not-so-good parts, all of my pain and shame and shortcomings. He knows everything that I have done and

My secret is:

Here are some secrets shared anonymously by students at the Easter Experience (p.s. 46:10) event.

background photo by flickr user vk - red

background photo from creative commons

background photo from hdwallsource . com

background photo from creative commons

everything that has been done to me, and still looks at me and says: You are mine. You are valued. You are worthy. You are enough. You are loved. No matter what your secret is — whether you wrote it down or not — the answer to your pain has been there all along, but the difference is whether you choose to accept the gift of grace and the freedom it brings. I have tried drugs and alcohol and self-harm and isolation, and none can compare to the love that I have found in Christ. I am finding freedom in hope. I am forgiven and set free, and once I started living that way, the secrets began to have less and less hold on my life. Pain may still continue to present itself, but Jesus continues to be the answer. My prayer for you is that you may accept the grace that has been freely given to you, and that you would find freedom from whatever is weighing heavy on your heart. There is freedom from the past and hope for the future.

Campus Ministries Why do we do what we do? What makes us act? What forms our character? What are we looking for in life: purpose, forgiveness, certainty, faith, answers, contentment? “Why do you spend money on what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? “ Is. 55:2 Who are we? Who am I? Have you thought about these questions recently? I have. “Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while he is near.” Is. 55:6 Are you willing to take your questions to the Lord and wrestle with him? Am I? “I sought the Lord, and He has heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.” Ps. 34:4 As we wrestle, doubt, discover, are broken, molded and shape, Remember that HE is faithful and just, and recall the prayer of Habakkuk 3:17-19. — Rachael Coon



Culture Editor

Every year, nominees for the Nobel Peace Prize swirl. With notable recipient Barack Obama in 2008 joining the likes of Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King, Jr., the already-prestigious award has gained the attention of millions. While rumored nominees include Pope Francis and Malala Yousafzai, one of the more controversial nominees is Vladimir Putin. Putin has most recently been recognized for ordering 16,000 Russian troops to invade Ukraine in February. Putin’s nomination was submitted by the International Academy of Spiritual Unity and Cooperation of Peoples of the World, a Russian advocacy group that pursues peace. While Putin pushed troops into a foreign country, the group has an interesting perspective on the seemingly undeserving man. The United States and Barack Obama (Nobel Peace Prize winner, remember?) threatened to attack Syria in 2013 over their use of chemical weapons. During this pivotal time, Putin worked to broker a nonmilitary solution to punish the Syrian government. His efforts led to negotiating a peaceful remedy in which Syria was required to voluntarily surrender its chemical weapons. Many believe the agreement came from Putin’s close relationship with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, who Putin personally conferred with to make the deal. Since Putin is a controversial nominee, I don’t see him receiving the award, but it’s interesting to watch world leaders act for the sake of peace, whether they find the best path to be peaceful or somewhat more destructive.

TimOTHy barbosa

marvelous Melodies

aswwu video

putin for President //

What happens when you receive a compliment from the “Emergency Phone Tower?” Watch this Thursday’s ASWWU Video to find out!

Thursdays at 9:37 p.m.

“North” Phoenix

upcoming events World Fair Trade Day St. Mary Medical Center Lobby

May 8, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. Admission — Free Come and sample fair trade coffee and chocolate. Learn about fair trade and shop around for delicious gifts!

Opening Reception for Augusta Farnum Telander Gallery

“The Chariot” The Cat Empire

May 8, 5–7 p.m. Admission — Free Celebrate the beginning of a new exhibit featuring art that exemplifies equivocal space inspired by polyphonics.

Movie Night Gesa Power House Theatre

May 8, 6:30–8:30 p.m. Admission — $10 Join Gesa for the first monthly movie night, tonight featuring Cement Suitcase. The film follows a wine salesman who is heading for a breakdown, and the only two people who can help him. The offbeat comedy was filmed in Washington state and has won several awards at film festivals.

“In Shallow Seas We Sail” Emery

Balloon Stampede Walla Walla Valley May 8–May 11 Admission — Free

photo from creative commons

Join Walla Walla in the celebration of its 40th Balloon Stampede! The festival spreads over the course of a weekend and boasts a multitude of balloons that fill the sky every morning. Notable events include Nite Glow and launches throughout the community. You can sign up to participate in a launch and witness ballooning like never before. Find out more online at

“By Your Side” House of Heroes


100,000 Feet Running 7.4 Miles // TO RUN Justin mock MORE CHANCES

hula skirts and coconut bras. Still others run in the best Nike apparel, yet everyone there is part of the same community with the same mission.

Health & Outdoors Editor I stood there in the middle of Lincoln St. in downtown Spokane, surrounded by hundreds of runners trying to stay warm in the early morning sun. The elite runners had already started, and our portion of the race was set to start within the next few minutes. As the start time drew near, the energy in the crowd rose as dozens of beach balls and corn tortillas were thrown around in the crowd. As we walked towards the starting line, I was surprised to see so many kids in the crowd of runners. I saw a boy next to me who was probably nine years old and I wondered if he would be able to run the 7.4 miles. That’s the thing about the Lilac Bloomsday Run; not everyone there looks like a runner, but that’s what makes it so much fun. There are people of every age, shape, size, and background sharing one goal: make it to the finish line. Some people run in tutus, others in

Six miles later, however, most thoughts about the beauty of running in community had left my mind. I had recently finished a long stretch of incline called Doomsday Hill and I could feel my legs hurting. Now I was running through a neighborhood that surrounded the last leg of the race. My stomach was starting to hurt and I could feel my pace slowing. I knew I would finish, but I wasn’t moving as fast as I wanted. It was in this moment that I saw him. That very same boy who had stood near me at the start of the race came running up beside me. I looked down at him and he looked up at me. Then he took off, his short legs carrying him effortlessly over the pavement at a pace I certainly couldn’t maintain. This kid proved me wrong. He was definitely capable of running 7.4 miles. I used this moment as inspiration and tried to speed up through the end of the race until I crossed the finish line. The lesson I learned from this kid illustrated the importance of community when it comes to health. When we see others pushing

themselves, it inspires us to push our limits as well. Seeing that kid fly past me inspired me to speed up. For some of us, the courage to start making life changes regarding exercise can be tough to muster. However, finding a community that provides support can be the factor that makes all the difference. So, if you missed Bloomsday, don’t worry. There are several soon-coming events that provide ways to exercise in community.


lilac Bloomsday Run The Lilac Bloomsday Run is an annual race that happens in Spokane on the first Sunday of May. The race, which first took place in 1977, has been continually growing over the last 37 years and now hosts over 50,000 runners and brings millions of dollars into the city.

SUMMER SMARTS June 23–August 29

Ask about our Summer Advantage 40% tuition discount for new students!

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Short sessions available Courses run from 1–10 weeks | (866) 441-2395

ASWWU Color Run

The idea of a color run is to run through the designated course while being covered in color by those standing on the sides. Not only is it a great way to exercise in community, but it’s also a great way to support the To Build a Home project. Whether you are a great runner or not, the run will be a ton of fun. Sign up at When: Sunday, May 11, at 7:30 a.m. Where: Walla Walla University Field Cost: $10 for kids ages 10 and under, $15 for students with ID cards, and $20 for adults.

The Tin Man Triathlon

The Tin Man is another ASWWUsponsored event that is a great chance to exercise with friends. In this competition, individuals or teams must complete a 500yard swim, a 20-km bike ride, and a 5-km run. If you don’t feel up to doing the whole thing this year, put together a team and make some new friends while competing. Sign up at, and email with questions. When: Sunday, May 18, from 9 a.m.–12 p.m. Where: Everything starts in front of the WEC Cost: A shirt costs $15

The Onion Man

The Onion Man Triathlon is an annual event put on by the city of Walla Walla. Similarly to the Tin Man, participants can sign up individually or as a team. The event includes a 1.5-km swim, a 40-km bike ride, and a 10-km run. This event is a bit more advanced, but with a team, it is definitely doable. For more information, go to: When: Sunday, May 25 (pre-race meeting at 8:30 a.m.) Where: Bennington Lake Cost: $75 for individuals, $130 for two-person teams, and $195 for three-person teams.


A Spurring, Blazing, and Thunderous Spring // beating the Golden State photo from Warriors in game seven of the first round, they dominated Oklahoma City at home to kick off the second round. Their persistence and highestranked scoring offense is, frankly, off the charts at the moment. And for all you Blazers fans, congratulations. Exphoto from espn . go . com Rookie of the Year and star point guard Damien Lillard has given you another shot at the western conference finals. But lets not forget who they’re up against: multipletime champions, the San Antonio Spurs. In the east, I guess the Indiana Pacers are telling us that they really don’t want to hold the trophy. Being a number-one seed, you’re not supposed to take the first round to seven games and

Grayson Andregg Sports Editor We are halfway through spring quarter and a third of the way through the NBA playoffs, and we’ve already seen some of the craziest playoffs of our generation. The rounds are played best out of seven games, and in the first round alone there were four series that were played all the way to game seven. I’m sure that many of you have heard about all the drama within the LA Clippers’ organization, with their p r i m a r y owner, Donald Sterling, caught saying racist remarks and eventually being banned from the NBA for life. This instance, however, has seemed to fuel the Clippers team; after


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then get blown out at the start of the second round. Miami Heat is winning. Who cares. Not only are the NBA playoffs in full swing, but the National Hockey

L e a g u e playoffs are as well, and have been quite a wild ride. Teams left in the west are Chicago, Minnesota, the Anaheim Ducks, and the LA Kings. photo by walla walla photos And for the east: Boston, Montreal, Pittsburg, and New York. All of these teams should propose thrilling series, and we have already seen the Kings making history — they became

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the sixth team ever to come back in the first round, after losing three games straight, to win four games straight and take the series. Keep your eyes on the lookout for highlights of all these series, as they are sure to excite. Walla Walla Athletics is in its slowest part of the year as of now, though. Soccer practice is back in the swing of things, as well as a little basketball here and there. FC Walla Walla is enjoying the company of their new coach, Andres Diocares, who has been pushing them toward i mp rovement. Soccer practice takes place from 8–10 p.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays at the field. In the meantime, intramurals of all kinds are happening, so come watch your friends play, or participate yourself!

Did you know? •

NFL Referees receive Super Bowl rings along with the players.

The Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team had plans a few years ago to build their new stadium on a man-made island in the river. They just decided to place it next to the river.

Actual playing time in a 9-inning baseball game averages less than 18 minutes.

Until 1936, a center-court jump ball took place after every single made basket in an NBA game.

In 1943, the Philadelphia Eagles and the Pittsburgh Steelers combined for a short time to become the Steagles.

Olympic Gold medals are actually made of silver. via huffington post

the first ight, to e series. ghlights excite.


Unicorns on Roller Skates! // Joe Hughes

Science & Tech Editor

slowest This weekend, I left Walla Walla to go to a Soccer physics conference in Seattle. While there were ings, as many amazing presentations on dark matter, reere. FC formulations of quantum mechanics, and using Walla balloons to study cosmic rays, what inspired this njoying article was a question we asked while strolling ompany around Pike Place Market: r new Andres “How fast would a unicorn need to go to who drive its horn all the way through a tree?” pushing — Summer Thresher toward e m ent. This is an amazing practice question. ‘Nuff said. ce from Let’s start with m. on the basics: Since our and unicorn has mass and ays at velocity, it has kinetic als of all energy. This kinetic ch your energy gets transferred to the tree when the unicorn hits. If we can figure out how much kinetic energy it takes to puncture a tree, we can figure out how fast the unicorn needs to go. (This is assuming, of course, that unicorn horns are made of diamonds, and are therefore invincible). Sadly, very little is known about the force needed to drive a unicorn horn through a tree. However, there is a lot known about driving nails through wood. This school actually offers classes that teach you about these things, but I haven’t taken them. Fortunately, I have a good deal of experience with nailing. The force on a nail increases when it’s deeper in the wood. I turned that into an equation and then made up some reasonable numbers for weight and velocity of a hammer to solve for our force relationship. If a 5-lb hammer hits a nail and comes to rest in about 0.0001 seconds, a nail needs about 1.4 million pounds per inch to drive it. This number is huge, but you have to realize how quickly a hammer slows down

when it hits a nail. That very short time means a huge deceleration, which means a huge force. And 1.4 million lb/inch is fittingly huge. When you put this number into our velocity equation, we get that velocity increases with the square of the diameter of the tree to be punctured, and decreases with unicorn mass. This makes sense — a bigger tree will be harder to puncture, and a heavier unicorn will hit harder. Awesome! Now we’ve got our equations, so let’s start plugging things in and get some answers. Most of the trees around k-mar are about 40 cm in diameter (yes, I m e a s u red ) . A n n o y i n g l y, Googling “How much does a unicorn weigh?” yields little help. Yahoo Answers, h owe ver, t e l l s m e t h a t b a by unicorns eat, “about the same as baby horses, or approximately half the amount of a baby dragon, a n d t wi c e t h e amount of a baby phoenix, or 32 times as much as a f u l l y g row n leprechaun.” If baby unicorns eat about as much as a baby horse, they probably weigh about as much as a baby horse. And if baby unicorns weigh about the same as baby horses, adult unicorns probably weigh about as much as adults horses, or about 500 kg. Using all of these numbers, we get a velocity of 575 mph, which is about as fast as a Boeing 777 and about ¾ the speed of sound. So we have our answer, but this leads us to another question: How do you get a unicorn going almost 600 mph? Race horses can hit 44 mph for a stretch, but we need to go 13 times faster than that. Now, we could just assume that unicorns can run as fast as they want and be done with this article, but I’m still having

fun, so let’s design a way to get our unicorn up to speed. There are lots of silly ways to get something going fast, many of which I’ve used in previous articles, but the one we will be using today is a very tall skateboard ramp and two pairs of roller skates. Put the roller skates on the unicorn, take the unicorn to the top of the ramp, and prepare to make history. If we ignore air resistance (like we always do), the ramp needs to be 2.09 miles tall. This is four times taller than anything we’ve ever built before, and almost tall enough to make a tower of LEGO bricks collapse under its own weight. Well that’s fun, but what if we want it bigger? Th e G en er a l Sherman Tree is the largest living tree on planet earth. It is 275 feet tall, 25 feet in diameter, and weighs 2.4 million pounds. It’s very, very big. To puncture it, our unicorn would need to be going about 11,000 mph, which is about half of Earth’s escape velocity, or about Mach 24. If we use the giant skateboard ramp again, it’ll need to be 752 miles tall, about

0.2 times Earth’s radius. Well that’s fun, but what if we want it bigger? The Arbol de Tule tree is a very old cypress tree in Mexico. It’s five times older than the city it occupies, which is named after the tree itself. Its diameter is 38 feet, which means there are some houses that are smaller than its footprint. Suffice it to say we are dealing with some major wood. To puncture this massive tree, we’d need to get our unicorn up to 16,700 mph, which is actually fast enough to sustain a low earth orbit. Our ramp grows larger still, now rising to 1,765 miles above the base of the tree. Our ramp is now bigger than Pluto, at almost half Earth’s radius. I hope you’re happy.

drawings by joe hughes

Got a question? Have a bonkers question? Have a serious question? Want to talk about cats in space? Send me questions on anything as serious as electron spin or as silly as frosting-covered rabbits on pogo sticks and I'll do my best.

— Joe (



Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe // When I was 13, my favorite TV show was Hannah Montana, my heartthrob was Aaron Carter, and I thought it was a good idea to cut my hair like Oprah. Do these sound like good decisions to you? Yeah, not so much.

want to be when you grow up?’ But for real.” Let that just sink in for a moment. There are five areas of study that students are allowed to chose from: STEM, which is science, technology, engineering, and math; arts and humanities; business and industry; public service; and advanced courses in multidisciplinary studies. Once students choose, they will be placed in specialized courses for their entire high school experience, tailored for the job they will be searching for approximately 10 years later.

If you were to ask eighth-grade Rachel what she wanted to be when she grew up, she’d probably give you some impassioned speech about how she was going to break into the Hollywood industry and be the next Demi Lovato. Or if she was feeling particularly rational that day, she might concede to being a baby doctor, despite her Some students are excited to choose right fear of blood. Good thing eighth graders away, such as Sabrina Schramm, who is an aren’t called upon to make any serious eight grader in Fort Worth. She wants to focus decisions. Oh, wait. on something in photography or possibly Last month, lawmakers in Texas thought digital media because later she wants to be it would be a good idea to pass a bill that “making movies and stuff.” Sounds legit. would require eighth graders to choose a career path before entering high school. Let me say that again: 13-year-old children are now required to decide what to do with the rest of their life ... in the eighth grade. To quote KERA news correspondent Shelley Kofler, “It’s like being asked: ‘What do you

Dorothy Isgur, another eighth grader, admits that she isn’t as sure, stating: “I have no clue what I want to do, but hopefully it will come to me.” Preach, Dorothy! We’re six weeks out from graduation weekend here at Walla Walla University, and I’m starting to feel

verbatim “I’m excited! I can go to the prison.” — Jessica Armstrong

“[There are] bouncy babes in the east …” — Joe Galusha

“I didn’t use to like chocolate … then I became a woman.” — Haley Howard

“There is no breast milk in this play.” — David Crawford

“I wish I could give birth to a prophet.” — Marissa Masden

Have something funny to report? Email me at:


Logan BackWord Editor

like 14-year-old Dorothy, only I’m not 14, and I’m not graduating from eighth grade. While this does make my dilemma less cute, the struggle is real. And although I am excited to start a new chapter in my life, I’m looking at the logistics and frankly, it doesn’t look pretty. I’m going from having two jobs to none. I’m going from long days of juggling work and 20 credits to days full of ... nothingness. I have absolutely no job lined up for my post-undergrad life, and while having time to catch up on Modern Family does sound appealing, I can’t watch T.V. forever (or so I’m told). So what am I going to do? I’m going to go home. I’m moving back in with my parents and I’m job hunting. In a short 37 days, I’m going to be unemployed. And guess what? I’m not ashamed and I’m not freaking out. It’s time for a reality check: Most of us are going to be unemployed when we graduate. It’s a statistical fact. Unless you are one of the lucky few who know someone who dated someone’s third cousin, then you are probably going to find yourself jobless the second you get that diploma. The sooner you get used to the idea, the sooner you can do something about it. Do you know what your

At what age did you figure out what you wanted to be when you “grew up?”

new job is going to be? Job hunting — that’s your new job. And, spoiler alert: You’re going to find one, because the likelihood of you not finding a job, ever, is exactly zero percent.

I know that my next job is probably going to be terrible. I bet I’ll find myself in a warehouse in a sketchy part of town painting traffic cones for the Department of Transportation. But do you know what? I’m going to practice until I’m the best traffic cone painter there ever was. And someday, I’ll graduate from traffic cones, and will move on to road signs, and then I’ll move to advertisement signs, and then somehow, someway, I’ll be writing the advertisements instead of painting them. If you’re freaking out about your future, then stop. Fortunately for us, we’re not eighth graders living in Texas and we don’t have to have everything figured out by August. Whether you’re worrying about your major, worrying about a job, or even worrying about your relationship, take a second to realize that at any moment you can pause and choose to go in another direction. But whatever decision you choose to make, put your whole self into it. Nobody likes a lazy person.


“18!” — Alex Haesche, senior, mechanical engineering

“I was eight. I wanted to be a doctor and I still do now.” — Judelle Johnson, junior, biology/pre-med

“When I was six I wanted to be a nurse and part-time music teacher. This past summer, I decided I want to work in pharmacy.”

Last year a bunch of us snuck onto the roof of the Ad. building and rang the bell. I was so scared that security was going to hear us that I almost fell off the roof. Sincerely, Happy to still be alive

— Mae Liongco, sophomore, chemistry/pre-pharmacy

“26, so I'm still working on it.” — Seth White, junior, international communications

To submit anonymous confessions, type: into your browser and click the Ask Me Anything button at the top.

Volume 98, Issue 23  
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