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23 May 2013 Volume 97 Issue 28


7 February 2013 Volume 97 Issue 15







EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Emily Muthersbaugh




INTRODUCTION is about religious community that I do find so particularly compelling.


Emily Muthersbaugh



RELIGION EDITORS Rob Folkenberg Daniel Peverini COLUMNIST Rebecca Brothers CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR Kayla Albrecht OPINION EDITORS Elliott Berger Grant Gustavsen Nathan Stratte FEATURE EDITORS Braden Anderson Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Christian Robins CULTURE EDITOR Grant Perdew DIVERSIONS EDITOR Eric Weber TRAVEL EDITOR Megan Cleveland HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITOR Karl Wallenkampf SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY EDITOR Spencer Cutting FOOD EDITOR Amy Alderman SPORTS EDITORS Trevor Boyson Tye Forshee THE HEEL EDITOR Julian Weller STAFF WRITERS Amy Alderman Casey Bartlett Karina Gomez Hilary Nieland Annie Palumbo LAYOUT DESIGNERS Allison Berger Alix Harris Greg Khng Cory Sutton COPY EDITORS Amy Alderman Rebecca Brothers Carly Leggitt Ryan Robinson DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Alex Wickward OFFICE MANAGER Heather Eva SPONSOR Don Hepker EDITORIAL BOARD Braden Anderson Jaclyn Archer Elliott Berger Philip Duclos Rob Folkenberg Grant Gustavsen Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Emily Muthersbaugh Christian Robins Nathan Stratte Julian Weller AD SALES MANAGER Brenda Negoescu

This issue of The Collegian marks the second-to-last issue of volume 97 and the last issue produced by your 2012–2013 Collegian staff. With each volume of The Collegian comes the exploration of both new and old ideas. As each year’s student body, Collegian staff, and Collegian editor-in-chief change, the tone and focus of the publication change. This year, we have examined national elections, guns and violence, and social justice in Collegian special issues. In each issue, The Collegian has aimed to provide genuine entertainment, diverse perspectives, relevant news, and features to enrich student life with the ultimate purpose of providing a starting point for discussion in our campus community. Community is complex. It comes in different shapes and sizes, lasting for a moment or a lifetime, serving different people and different purposes. Community is difficult to define and difficult to control. In recent years, as community has become a trending idea, I find myself wondering at the draw of community; that is, why do we seem to so desperately pursue and claim community? Institutions, businesses, churches, concerts, and restaurants are a few of the many entities pursuing this idea, claiming to provide, enhance, or enable community. It seems the



News ASWWU/Admin Week in Forecast

pursuit of community is an integral part of what we understand the human experience to be. Having been raised in a religious community, I have seen some of the challenges and benefits to community in this form. Because of the moral prescriptions that accompany religious groups, it seems people are sometimes shunned for conduct or association that does not appear in line with religious values. While aspects of faith may be compelling, followers of faith can be offputting. However, it seems the sense of community that religion provides can be more comprehensive. That is, religious communities are less constrained by time and place and have an opportunity to provide support for a broader spectrum of life’s experiences. As graduation approaches, I reflect on my time at WWU and the meaningful relationships that have impacted my time. I have found a home here and have profited from integration in this religious community. However, over the years, I have seen more of those I care about question the merit of religion communities. While it is easy to feel personally rejected by a disregard for a something that provides much of life’s meaning, this shift in religious association of many of those around me has caused me to try to understand what it

Perspective Religion Column Creative Writing Opinion Snapshots Scholars Abroad


Feature 15–17 The WWU You Never Knew

It can be confusing to see other good, just, and loving people who seem to live outside of that which I believe is the inseparable source of these values. Yet to assume that these values would only be manifested in a religious context is limiting of the source of what is good, just, and loving. I have come to understand that while religion can facilitate these values, it cannot become a stand-in for the one who defines these values, threatening the existence of the one when religion seems under threat. In this week’s issue of The Collegian, Feature Editor Elizabeth Jones explores our WWU campus, relaying stories behind its structures, revealing 50-year-old Collegian content, and elaborating on some of the institution’s history. You will also find updates on the Mission Mozambique fundraiser, ASWWU’s Super Weekend, and the university’s 10-year vision. In the coming weeks, as the new Collegian is debuted and we begin the transition into a new school year, I encourage you to consider how you have experienced community at WWU, what aspect of community is most compelling to you, and the kind of community in which you want to invest. If you would like to read any back issues this year, you can find them as they appear in print via our online pdf reader at You can also stay up to date with each week's new Collegian content at

Life 18–24

Culture Diversions Sports Foodie Travel Health & Wellness Science & Tech The Heel

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, contact our page editors or the editor-in-chief at The Collegian is boosted by regularly incorporating a wide range of student perspectives. Cover Photo Credit: Joshua McKinney, Katie Palumbo The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be mailed to or This issue was completed at 2:39 a.m. on 23 May 2013.

The Collegian | Volume 97, Issue 28 | 204 S. College Avenue | College Place, WA 99324 |


Atlas Renovation Completed Jason Birkenstock Contributing Writer

Renovations have been completed on The Atlas, Walla Walla University’s café and study space. On January 17, ASWWU senate passed a $45,000 bill to hire Renovation Specialists to rejuvenate the exterior of The Atlas. This rejuvenation would include a complete restoration of the exterior, the installation of a new patio, and an interior renovation of the nearby shed to enable the relocation of the Tread Shed (formerly on the lower floor of Kellogg Hall, near the SAC and accessible from the parking lot). Now, just four months later, the renovation is complete. The Atlas now boasts a spacious patio with seating for over 30 people, permanent overhead lighting, luscious landscaping, close proximity to the

brand-new Tread Shed, and a longawaited sign to grace the front of the premises (created and donated by Dan Biesenthal). The Atlas has already been used to host events such a recent open mic night and provides convenient study space for many students. This project was introduced to the senate by ASWWU President Emily Oliver, and it was overseen by Oliver, ASWWU Executive Vice President Jason Birkenstock, and Atlas Manager William Fandrich.

Hilary Nieland Staff Writer

On May 14, Walla Walla University announced the appointment of the new vice president for Student Life and Mission, Dr. David Richardson Jr. He will begin in his new position on July 1, taking over for the current interim vice president, George Bennett. In this new capacity, Richardson will oversee student housing, social programs, food services, student government, and counseling and health services. Richardson earned a bachelor’s degree in physical education with a minor in religion from Oakwood University, then went on to the University of Phoenix for a master’s degree in counseling. He also earned a doctoral degree in educational leadership from Argosy University and a master of divinity from Andrew’s University. Currently a pastor and evangelist for the Southeastern California Conference

Richardson is excited for his new role at WWU. He says he is eager to spend time getting to know the students, staff, and faculty. “Motivating and encouraging the students” is something to which he is particularly looking forward. He says his experiences in leadership, education, diversity, and spirituality will help him in his role to provide “support for the students” and to promote “development for the staff.” He brings a lot of energy with him and was excited by the levels of energy he found in students during his campus visit. Karl Wallenkampf, member of the search committee, said, “Richardson has impressive verve and a record of being very



Number of Americans killed in U.S. drone strikes since 2009.

Photo by Joshua McKinney

New VP for Student Life and Mission and regional director of student affairs for Concorde Career Colleges, Richardson directs career services, the learning resource center, military and veterans’ support services, disability services, and other services. Richardson has also worked at Riverside Community College as a counselor and instructor. He has also worked as a professor of physical education at Oakwood College.



The ASWWU Senate and executive cabinet thank you for your patience with the construction and any disruption posed to your study routines and hope the student body will continue to enjoy using the new space.

Jason Birkenstock is the executive vice president of ASWWU.


active in diverse areas: student affairs as well as evangelism, finding success in both,” and that he is looking forward to collaborating with him. Richardson is married to Melanie, a speech-language pathologist, and has two sons, Brandon and Jaylin. They are looking forward to their move to the Walla Walla Valley. Richardson says that he “felt at home” in Walla Walla during the visit for his interview.

48:08:25 Length of the world-record Ferris wheel ride.

$610,000 Amount a bidder will pay to have a cup of joe with Apple's CEO.


MILLION Value of the cricket-farming industry in Thailand.

Photo by WWU President's Office





New Business F.L. 38 — 2013– 2014 Budget Approval P.L. 125 — Kofi Twumasi for Spiritual Assistant P.L. 126 — Lauren Heinrich for Spiritual Assistant P.L. 127 — Eric Weber for Collegian Diversions Editor P.L. 128 — Concurrent Position for Eric Weber P.L. 129 — Joe Hughes for Collegian Science and Tech Editor P.L. 130 — Chadwick Aufderhar for Collegian Arts and Media Editor P.L. 131 — Brenda Negoescu for Collegian Fashion Editor P.L. 132 — Grayson Andregg for Collegian Sports Editor P.L. 133 — Concurrent Position for Grayson Andregg P.L. 134 — Brooklynn Larson for Collegian Feature Editor P.L. 135 — Katherine Pekar for Collegian Feature Editor P.L. 136 — Erik Edstrom for Collegian Layout Designer P.L. 137 — Andrew Woodruff for Collegian Opinion Editor P.L. 138 — Andralyn Iwasa for Collegian Layout Designer P.L. 139 — Justin Mock for Collegian Outdoor Editor P.L. 140 — Concurrent Position for Justin Mock P.L. 141 — Lauren Heathcock for Collegian Copy Editor P.L. 142 — Haley Coon for Collegian Distribution Manager P.L. 143 — Andrea Johnson for Collegian Food Editor P.L. 144 — Allison Patchett for Controller P.L. 145 — Schuler Luce for Leadership Award Coordinator

Old Business

F.L. 36 — Large Projector Screen G.L. 29 — Senate Procedural Rules Revision G.L. 30 — Judiciary Manual Revision Key: F.L. | Financial Legislation G.L. | Governance Legislation P.L. | Personnel Legislation

Mo on b week oppo Ticke walla sale begin

Afternoon at Rooks Park Time: Saturday, June 1, right after Second Service Location: Rooks Park Have a relaxing Sabbath afternoon of fun and games at the park with friends. Transportation is not provided. For more information, contact Doug Wheeler at

WHITEOUT: Date Auction/Fashion Show Fundraiser Time: Saturday, June 1, 9 p.m. Location: Kretschmar Lawn This is a time to come enjoy student-created glow in the dark fashion show. You will have a chance to buy a date with the different models, and find the love of your life. For more information, contact Chelsea Moon at

Pilgrim Premiere Time: Saturday, June 1, 8 p.m. Location: Village Hall Cost: $5 admission — $2 of every $5 go toward Mission Mozambique Senior film project portraying a dramatic retelling of the classic allegory, Pilgrim's Progress For more information, contact Tanner Dull at

Jen Cour with tough even is no prod Cour of he set to cyst pain to co resch with the ab


Spring Jam Time: Sunday, June 2, 3 p.m. Location: Kretschmar Lawn No admission fee — enjoy free food, student entertainment, and sun. The Mountain Ash will also be handed out. For more information, contact Nancy Patiño at

Er Pyth Colle May actor origi Circu

Idl Whi Mon talke Awar


The Courageous Act of Mother Courage Casey Bartlett Staff Writer

Mother Courage and Her Children, put on by wwudrama, is entering its second weekend, and tonight, Thursday, is a grand opportunity to see the play for only $2. Tickets may be reserved online at drama. The left over tickets go on sale one hour prior to the show, which begins at 8 p.m. Jennifer Landaverde, who plays Mother Courage in the play, says that she identifies with her character: “I understand being tough and pushing through the hard stuff, even if others think you work too hard.” She is no stranger to the stage as this is her 31st production. Her identification with Mother Courage may run deeper than the quantity of her work in this case. Landaverde was set to have surgery to remove the second cyst found in her abdomen, which causes pain and at times shortness of breath. Due to complications, that surgery has been rescheduled for June so as not to interfere with her graduation. This gave Landaverde the ability to audition for one last production

at WWU. David Crawford initially did not allow her to audition because Landaverde is, as she said, supposed to “take it easy up until the surgery.” Landaverde added, “[He] actually forbade me to audition, but I showed up anyway!” After many assurances that she was fine and that her doctor had given permission for her to act, Crawford relented and Landaverde received the role. “And I’m glad to say that I’m doing just fine,” says Landaverde. “Sometimes it’s only your courage that’ll get you through it all,” she adds. Landaverde can’t promise that attendees will like s, but she assures that this should not deter people from seeing the play. “I promise you, you’ve never seen anything like it, and you’ll leave asking yourself, ‘What just happened?’” she says. Landaverde notes that “the best part of the play is how much it will make you think.” Don’t miss Jennifer Landaverde and her fellow actors in wwudrama's final production of the year and the final WWU production ever for many of the students involved. Tonight, Saturday, and Sunday nights give you three more chances to catch Bertolt Brecht’s Mother Courage and Her Children.



Sabbath Jubilee – WWU’s Decade of Vision Karina Gomez Staff Writer

Since reassuming his position earlier this year, Walla Walla University President John McVay has been leading a broadbased process to develop a 10-year vision statement to guide efforts that enhance campus life. The goal of this 10-year vision is not to change the university’s mission but rather is to “sharpen the best of who we are,” says McVay. This 10-year vision builds on the idea of a Sabbath jubilee as it is evidenced in the university’s four core themes — excellence in thought, generosity in service, beauty in expression, and faith in God. Additionally, the theme of Sabbath jubilee is envisioned in a fifth area of economic jubilee. The economic jubilee’s dominant goal is to achieve an annual budget margin of 10 percent by the 2022–23 school year. This 10 percent is to be reinvested in the university. The academic jubilee, built on the core theme of excellence in thought, will focus on offering a higher-education

experience unparalleled in the context of a holistic, Christian community. The humanitarian jubilee, built on the core theme of generosity in service, will focus on developing a department of community service and mission. As part of the initiative of humanitarian, the vision aims to craft low-debt or no-debt path whereby students, upon graduation, can choose a vocation based on calling instead of loans. The aesthetic jubilee, which aligns with the university’s core theme of beauty in expression, focuses on, among other objectives, renovating and renewing campus buildings. Lastly, the faith-focused Sabbath jubilee aims primarily to concentrate on forming a center for Sabbath celebration which will promote Christian conversation and lifestyles. This 10-year vision is still subject to change as revision among faculty and the executive cabinet continues. As the initiatives outlined in the 10-year vision of Sabbath jubilee begin to be implemented, the hope is that students and members of the community will begin to experience the jubilee's mark on the Walla Walla University campus firsthand.

Eric Idle Visits Whitman Annie Palumbo Staff Writer

Eric Idle, best known from Monty Python sketches, delivered the Whitman College commencement address Sunday, May 19. Along with being a comedian, actor, author, and singer, Idle is also an original member of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Idle also held a discussion with the Whitman community called "From Monty Python to Spamalot," where he talked about his Spamalot, the Tony Award–winning musical, and his career.

He finished by answering questions from the audience. More than just an opportunity to visit the Walla Walla Valley, presenting at Whitman’s graduation held special meaning for Idle as his daughter, Lily Idle, received a diploma in Sunday’s ceremony. When Idle was asked by President Bridges to give the commencement address, he replied that he first needed to ask his daughter, saying, “I wanted to make sure she was happy and comfortable with it, because it’s her day, not mine.” Lily Idle, of course, was thrilled. Idle most recently performed at the Closing Ceremonies for the 2012

Summer Olympics. After being a human cannonball, he danced around on stage and sang the hit song “Always Look on

and Idle replied, “What? Perform before a billion people? A billion people is fairly staggering. I remember doing Saturday Night Live. You open the door and there were 30 million people watching live [on TV]. But it makes no difference. You just perform to the people in the room.”

"It makes no difference. You just perform to the people in the room." the Bright Side of Life.” Idle was asked by Whitman College Staff Writer Edward Weinman what it was like to perform,


CONTEXT OPEN POSITIONS Atlas Barista Video Editor Ad Sales Manager Graphic Designer Fundraising Team Photographer Mountain Ash Editor Mask Editor Senate Secretary ASWWU Photographer application deadline is May 28 How to apply: 1. Download application from ASWWU website. 2. Send your résumé, application, and cover letter to 3. Wait for your interview.

May 30 — ASWWU Senate will meet with a toga theme on the lawn in front of the Ad Building.




FORECAST Photo by Kai Kopitzke


23 May 66° 48°

Wind Symphony Concert


24 May 64° 46°


7:30 p.m. Walla Walla Valley Academy Auditorium

Photo by Greg Khng

Photo by Kai Kopitzke


25 May 72° 46°

Mother Courage and Her Children

8 p.m. Heubach Chapel

9 p.m. Village Hall

Mother Courage and Her Children 8 p.m. Village Hall

Photo by Greg Khng

Sunday Mother Courage and Her Children 8 p.m. Village Hall

26 May 73° 50°

Photo by Flickr user Mark Fischer

Monday Memorial Day No Classes

27 May 75° 50°

Photo by Nina Schmidt

Tuesday CommUnity: ASWWU 11 a.m. Kretschmar Lawn

28 May 75° 48°

Photo by Kate Gref

Wednesday Big Band Concert 7:30 p.m. FAC

See page 4 for upcoming ASWWU Super Weekend event details.

29 May 68° 48°




Middle Kingdom Call Bob Folkenberg Jr. Contributing Writer

Photo by

Allow me to get right to the point: Learn Chinese! The largest unreached people group in the entire world all speak a common language, and that language is Mandarin Chinese. So I invite you to come to China to study Chinese and make new friends for Jesus. Let me explain. Guangxi province in China, which has a population of 46 million people, only has 800 Adventist members. That is one Adventist member for every 57,500 people in the province. In the neighboring province of Hunan, which is the birthplace of Chairman Mao, we have at best 1,000 believers in a population of 71 million people. So, if you do the math, it comes out to one Adventist for every 71,000 people in the province. (By the way, the percentage of Christians is also comparatively very, very small.) As you can tell, the challenge of reaching the Middle Kingdom

A Priority Rob Folkenberg Religion Editor

(China) for Christ is truly staggering. (For comparison’s sake, the numbers in the Upper Columbia Conference, where you presently live, are one Adventist for every 74 people. Oh, and in Walla Walla County, the number is closer to 1 in 11.) So, back to the invitation — here’s what I’m suggesting: Come as a student missionary to China — not to teach a class or help out in a school, but to be a language student in a local university while at the same time letting your light shine for Jesus with your new Chinese friends. This is the Waldensian model of the Middle Ages. I believe it’s time to see dozens and hundreds of committed followers of Jesus board 747s and head to lands where Jesus is barely known and little appreciated in order to let their light shine for Christ. History shows us that mighty missionary movements have time and again been started and led by young people. Hudson Taylor, the faithful early missionary to China, was barely 21 years old when he sailed from England to the Middle Kingdom. When he landed in Shanghai in 1854, after a five-month journey by boat, he was greeted by a country torn apart by the brutality and ravages of the Taiping Rebellion. War was everywhere, yet he faithfully learned the language and began a 40-plus-year journey of taking the good news of Jesus to the inland parts of China. While in China, he lost two of his children and his wife to sickness. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Through his work and those of the hundreds of missionaries that

This year in The Collegian’s religion section, we’ve explored various areas of religion and faith. It’s been a pleasure contributing and facilitating as an editor this year. I’ve gleaned experience, knowledge, and memories. Thank you!

There’s a lot of information out there. I’ve learned a lot from working as a religion editor, from studying the Bible in classes, from listening to sermons, and from reading. But I’ve also learned from experience that head knowledge is nothing without a personal relationship with Jesus. I hope the religion section has encouraged that vital aspect of Christianity this year. Amid all the information, amid the facts and theological issues, I encourage you to continue growing in your walk with Jesus. Religion is pretty empty without Him. I’m trying to make a personal relationship with Jesus a priority in my life. I hope that you will join me in doing the same.

followed in what became known as the China Inland Mission, thousands upon thousands accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

“It’s time for a new movement of front-line missionaries led by young people like you. ” It’s time for a new movement of front-line missionaries led by young people like you. Let’s be honest: It goes without saying that this invitation carries risks and challenges. But, in my opinion, the ease of our present spiritual and temporal life too often leads to spiritual obesity and in turn the flatlining of our faith. I love the way that Hudson Taylor describes the role of trials and pressures in the life he lived for Christ: “It doesn’t matter, really, how great the pressure is. It only matters where the pressure lies. See that it never comes between you and the Lord — then, the greater the pressure, the more it presses you to His breast.”

Do you remember the two provinces I mentioned above, Guangxi and Hunan? I’d love to find you a place to study Chinese right smack in the middle of this exciting mission field. While you study this new language, you will have a wonderful opportunity to practice your new language skills with the Chinese students in your school while at the same time listening and watching for those divine appointments to share the hope you have in Jesus with others. If you want more information about this invitation, please send me an email at Let’s begin a dialogue that I hope will lead you to a year of learning both the language that one in five people in the world speak as well as learning to trust more fully in your friend Jesus Christ. I believe the most important days for mission are yet ahead. E.M. Bounds, that great prayer warrior and contemporary of Hudson Taylor, wrote, “The past has not exhausted the possibilities nor the demands for doing great things for God. The church that is dependent on its past history for its miracles of power and grace is a fallen church.”

“D w u God wants to use you to live a vibrant and d mighty life of faith for Him and the growth of His church. Consider the call. Consider a the invitation to learn Chinese and in the process make a difference for the Kingdom of Heaven!

Bob Folkenberg Jr., D.Min., is president of the Chinese Union Mission.

A Challenge

I have enjoyed the time I spent last quarter working with Rob to bring great content to Daniel Peverini the religion section of The Collegian. We Religion Editor have discussed aspects of Christian theology, Christian ethics, and Christian leadership with much help from our contributors. I want to thank each one of them again: Matt Burdette, Shane Akerman, Randy Roberts, Jon Paulien, Gerald Winslow, Ted Wilson, and Bob Folkenberg Jr. Summer is almost upon us. As each of us finishes the year and goes to various summer tasks, I want us to leave with a challenge. I challenge all of us — you and me — to continue learning about God’s world. True learning requires a radical affirmation of the goodness — and just as importantly, the reality — of God’s world. Cognizant of the world around us, we are enabled to serve others. So continue to explore God’s world: It is one of God’s gifts to us.


The Last Hurrah Rebecca Brothers Columnist I love so many things about WWU. I love the noisy radiators in Conard, and the pancakes at the DX, and the row of dogwoods in front of Sittner. I love the bold vision represented by The Atlas, and the warm hospitality of the professors, and the stalwart courage of the administrators who must accurately pronounce hundreds of names at commencement. (No pressure, Dr. Cushman. You’ve got this.) It’s been an eye-opening and enriching five years, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“Don’t wallow in unhappiness; do something about it.” There’s one thing I won’t miss, though: Navigating campus at night. By the time you read this, I will be home safely after my last Collegian night ever, and boy howdy am I excited. I’ll miss the Collegian crew, to be sure, but I’ve had some lively journeys to and from the office: walking home on a completely unlit street at 2 a.m.; crossing paths with a middle schooler doing laps around the SAC parking lot on the ASWWU tricycle at 3 a.m.; and, most recently, playing an impromptu game of hide-and-seek with a middleaged man who was hanging around my yard at midnight. During those times, it gave me great solace to think of all the other students who work unpleasant hours. During the winter, for example, Campus Custodial workers begin shoveling snow and

de-icing sidewalks at 5 a.m., after their supervisor has checked conditions at 4 a.m. My colleagues at The Collegian work far into Wednesday night to give you the paper you’re now holding. The men of Campus Security are on call around the clock. And if you’re the lucky person who fries the doughnuts on Friday at Rogers’ Bakery, as Ryan Robinson was last year, you start work — start work, mind you — at 1 a.m. It’s people like these who renew my faith in humanity, simply by displaying that level of dedication to the task at hand. Before signing off for the last time, I’d like to pass on three things I learned here that I’m taking into the real world. 1. Don’t wallow in unhappiness; do something about it. (This is probably a no-duh moment to a lot of you, but trust me, some people need to be told. I sure did.) Sometimes all you can do is take a nap, rant to a friend, or go for a run. Sometimes you have the option of more serious action: talking with that significant other, quitting that job, getting that restraining order, or switching from that shampoo. But whatever you can do, for heaven’s sake, do it. 2. If you appreciate certain people’s presence in your life, tell them. Call them out on their awesomeness. I recommend homemade muffins as a communication method. 3. German chocolate cake isn’t German. It was invented by an American named Samuel German in 1852. With that, fare thee well, WWU 2012–13. It’s been fun. It’s been real. And if you’re worried about final exams, take heart: at least you’re not taking the final for a birthing class.


Progress Kayla Albrecht Creative Writing Editor

The lake was unbroken and pure. I watched from the deck as my brother pulled out the canoe and started across the water. His strokes were careful and timed; the lake and his arms rippled in resistance. My legs swung from the edge. His wake formed a triangle behind him, the only thing disturbing the mirrored world. The lake expanded, infinite, perpetual. His oars slipped in and out of the water silently, his arms flexed and pulled, yet he remained stationary, forever halfway. I wondered at the possibility of it, began to mourn for not only my loss, but his. He had been unsuccessful. He had not been strong enough, fast enough, determined enough. He had lost, was lost. A failure. Until he wasn’t; until he broke the barrier; until he ripped through that imaginary wall holding him in place and made it closer to the other side. His efforts were fruitful. His triangle grew wide and his body grew narrow. It was a miracle every time. I never watched him row back. When he grew so small I could not discern him from the trees on the far bank, I would slip inside and crawl back into bed, sleep pulsing in time to my brother’s water. In my mind, he never stopped rowing.





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Opinion Editor

For a moment, doubt everything you know. Drop your religious beliefs, scientific knowledge, and political opinions. When you reform your thoughts, will you go back to these same ideas in your head, or will you choose to change your default thinking? The quote “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people,” generally attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, first reached my ears via the august voice of Karl Wallenkampf. Ideas, no matter how innovative, come with some aspects that need improving — and some that need to be thrown out. Clenching one in your grasp of belief is a fear of letting the idea leave you and it never coming back, but I advise you: If an idea comes back to you, keep it. I sometimes wonder if people truly believe what they say or if they are simply clinging to

I get so intrigued listening to people argue their proof that God exists and watching them get shot down and disregarded by the so-called “logical community.” I have yet to see how we can conclusively prove anything, and the fact that many people aren’t settling with an instinct or assumption but have devoted their lives to finding answers seems to be the better approach. I can’t help but smile and think, “This is the better way.” We don’t

have proof that any way is the right way to believe, especially since religion is instinctive, but that doesn’t mean that answers should not be sought daily, what we know checked and checked again. When you doubt what you believe, you will be left with a line of core beliefs that define you because you have tested them over and over again. As I head off to my next adventure at Rosario this summer and, I hope, to Nepal next year, I want to leave you with this thought: Never be afraid to step out of what you know in return for understanding. Great minds must doubt and improve their ideas. Learn a system well and then check to see if it’s what you truly want to believe. If you come back to the same system, it is your belief. Decisions based on feelings are not to be looked down upon; they are true to the self — core beliefs. Thank you, Walla Walla University; it has been a pleasure writing for you this year. Until we meet again!

When I was a tween I wanted to be telekinetic. I thought how cool it would be to lazily move things around a room without ever leaving the comfort of the couch. With a new discovery called Google, I found a thriving group of people who believed telekinesis was real and attainable. I mockingly thought, “Psshh.” Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting with my hands encircling a homemade pinwheel balanced on top of a thumbtack. My goal: To spin this unassuming invention at least 90 degrees using my superior powers of concentration. One week later, something happened. It moved. Not even just a little bit — I spun that baby a full 360. I was ecstatic but still skeptical. Maybe there was a breeze in the room; maybe I had accidentally breathed on it. My investigation lasted all of 30 seconds

Three years ago I discovered a YouTube video that deflated my “psiwheel” induced ego. They spin because of rising heat getting caught underneath. As I watched a video of one placed inside a circle of mugs filled with hot water, I saw my childhood certainty spinning away into oblivion. I had been hoodwinked — not by lying psychics, but by my own ego. I wanted to be unique and special, so I grasped a theory that would bolster that desire. This theory — that I could somehow deny the laws of physics and common sense and spin a silly, silver piece of gum wrapper with pure will — was easy to believe because I had wanted to believe it.

I’m late for an appointment.


England is sending the first British astronaut to the International Space Station. International tea parties to ensue.

If pinwheels have taught me anything, it is this: Beliefs should be held loosely. That does not negate strong opinions; it just means strong opinions should be able to change. I believed I had magical powers because they made me feel good about myself. I could do one of two things after watching that video. I could pretend I hadn’t watched it. I could convince myself that it was anti–X-Men propaganda. I could conclude that my personal experience was exempt from reason. That would be holding my belief tightly. Or I could consider the possibility that I might be wrong. Even with all those reluctant, qualifying words, this small amount of doubt was the difference between delusion and truth. Doubt discourages us from clinging to comforting beliefs and encourages us to discover how true those beliefs are. Maybe we all could use an extra dose of doubt.


Contributing Writer

before I finally concluded that the only possible explanation was my own internal psychic power. I was secretly a superhero! This epiphany, however, fit very badly into my daily life. I could hardly brag about turning a gum wrapper. Eventually I moved on with my life, but the back of my mind left a childish faith in my uniqueness intact.

New study shows that couples who have a sex schedule are more likely to stay together.

1. From Plato’s Apology.

Reality Check Andrew Woodruff


According to survey, 42 percent of Americans have an unfavorable view of hipsters. 10 percent said they disliked hipsters before it was cool.

Chinese authorities recently arrested over 900 people for selling counterfeit meat. Worthington moves back to the U.S.


Elliott Berger

their comfortable ideas in a world full of foreign thought and uncertainty. Perhaps they are afraid to admit they might be wrong and thus be subject to ridicule or, even worse, labeled an emotional thinker. Quite frankly, it takes a lot more intellect to admit ignorance rather than certainty — something Socrates believed, too: “this man, on one hand, believes that he knows something, while not knowing anything. On the other hand, I — equally ignorant — do not believe that I know anything.”1 This isn’t the idea that you know nothing; it is simply the humble approach to discovering the truth by realizing there are many options, probably all chosen by instinct and feeling.






College student in Georgia was worried his parents would be mad at him for flunking English, so he faked his own kidnapping. Really?



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Photo by Kate Gref

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Photo by Joshua McKinney



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Photo by Arella Aung

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The Here and Now Katie Palumbo Kenya


Mission Mozambique Fundra ising Progress


Lately, there is only one thing on my mind: home. It’s that time in an SM’s year where your Facebook status more frequently hosts numbers counting down your days rather than words, and blogs are filled with reminiscent thoughts and last-day remarks. The end is near; that’s for sure — a mere 25 days until Kenya is nothing but an experience that I once had. It kind of breaks my heart. This big, beautiful sky that I have been so blessed to live under and all the little arms that love me every day will just be a distant dream. No more Daniel asking, “Did I do good today?” No more Amber enthusiastically singing in morning worship when everyone else is “too

cool” for enthusiasm. No more recess talks with Audry, no more taking taxes on children’s snacks ... I miss it already. Sometimes I think I’m bipolar. How can a person be so excited to leave and yet so sad to go? On the one hand, I can’t wait for carpet under my feet and roads without speed bumps, and on the other hand, I’m dreading saying goodbye. In two weeks my kids will walk out of my classroom for the last time, and just like that 10 months of work will be over. I’m so ready to be done teaching, and yet I know that saying goodbye to these kids, who drive me crazy and challenge me every day, is going to be more than hard. Sometimes — OK, a lot of the time — I find myself wishing time would move faster,

that I could just be on that plane already, headed back to friends and unlimited texting. And then there are moments like this one, where I have to ask myself, “What’s the hurry?” Soon enough I will be back to being a student, living an ordinary American life, that monotonous routine that I so desperately wanted to escape last year. But right now I’m here, at Maxwell, with 25 days left to laugh, to high five, to love. Why wish that away? Some days, the next three weeks seem like the biggest hurdle, and yet some moments make me wish it could last forever. But no matter what each second brings, I’m making the choice to be here, to be present, to spend less time wishing for the future and instead to be involved in the now. Sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.



The Walla Walla University You Never Knew: Sculptures, Salons, and Salaries driver being slightly contentious.

Elizabeth Jones

Feature Editor

Walla Walla University is a school in which many of us take pride. We consider it our home, a part of who we are and who we will become. But how many of us actually know our campus? Our university’s past is deep, interesting, and a little entertaining. I wrote this article as a way to learn more about the campus that has been my home for the last four years and as a way to share what I have learned with you. Sculptures There’s a bicycle sculpture located in between Bowers Hall and the Fine Arts Center. If you look at the plaque, it says, “Ann Weatherill / October 15, 1953–May 9, 2004 / Public Service — Bicycle Safety / from her family and friends.” But many students on campus don’t know who Ann Weatherill was or why the sculpture was placed on the WWU campus. The sculpture is a memorial, a reflection of our community, and a reminder to cycle safely. Ann Weatherill was an avid cyclist and science teacher at Garrison Middle School. She moved to Walla Walla because of her husband, Charles Potts, who is from the Northwest. As a Spanish speaker, she reached out to her Hispanic students, giving them special attention and dedicating her time to helping them succeed. In the spring of 2004, she left the Whitman campus on a bicycle ride with the Wheatland Wheelers. It was Mother’s Day, and she had planned

to spend the afternoon celebrating with her 13-year-old daughter. The group of cyclists was on the road near Dayton when a Ford SUV going the opposite direction pulled into the lane in order to pass a line of cars. The driver, unaware of the cyclists, was unable to make it back into the row of cars in time and hit Ann with his side mirror, killing her. Her sudden death was only made worse by cops attempting to ticket her posthumously and the

“The sculpture is a memorial, a reflection of our community, and a reminder to cycle safely.”

When the time came for Ann’s funeral, her family struggled to find a location big enough to support the generations of locals who had been touched by Ann’s interest in their education and her dedication to their well-being. Dan Lamberton, a close family friend of Ann and Charles, was made aware of this situation and asked if he could help. He immediately went over to the church to ask the pastoral staff if the ceremony could be held in University Church. Despite Ann’s Buddhist religion and the knowledge that the funeral service would be a Buddhist ceremony, the pastoral staff unquestioningly agreed and even served as ushers during her service. Later, a memorial service was held on the lawn where the sculpture is now located. Robert McNealy donated the bicycle sculpture that now stands where the memorial took place in memory of Ann Weatherill. He wanted the statue to be placed on a college campus to remind students to cycle safely. The memorial consists of a bicycle, chair, vest, gloves, and helmet: All of the different components are modeled after Ann’s own bicycle and cycling gear. The bicycle design also reflects Ann’s love of science: For example, the spokes of the wheels reflect the Fibonacci sequence. Shortly after Ann’s death, Charles lobbied to have the Ann Law in Washington passed, which prohibits motorists from passing when oncoming bicyclists, pedestrians, or equestrians are approaching. Every day, students walk past Ann’s

bicycle, and every day students should be reminded to cycle safely and to appreciate how Ann brought the community around her closer together. Another sculpture that is passed often is found near the Havstad parking lot. The sculpture rests between the FAC and Kretschmar on the way to the Dairy Express. It is an abstract piece of art,

constructed of arrows and designs pointing up toward the sky. The title of the piece is “Reaching,” and it was designed by James Perry. The plaque next to the sculpture reads “Senior Class of 1968 / In Memory of / Marlowe Clarambeau / May 20, 1976 / Burton Dietrich / September 21, 1967.” Both of the young men remembered by this sculpture were students of Walla Walla College. Marlowe Clarambeau drowned while trying to save a child from a whirlpool. Burton Dietrich was returning to school for fall quarter when he was in a car accident and lost his life.1 1. Special thanks to Dan Lamberton for telling Photos by Josh McKinney



Past Collegians After spending two years working on The Collegian, I was curious to learn about past issues. I focused on two in particular, 50 and 45 years ago. The following lists reflect both the most shocking and the most interesting information I found, showing how much and how little WWU has changed over the last 50 years. The Collegian Vol. 47, 1962–1963 In the first issue of this volume, an article called “… Ever After” was written. The article was composed of summer wedding updates, including the name of the bride and groom, the date, and the place of the wedding. The Collegian ran ads for the College Dairy, The Watch Shop and a laundromat (both in the McRae Building), and the College Bakery. Walla Walla College also used to sell groceries in the college store and own a college press. The public could subscribe to a schoolyear’s worth of The Collegian for $2. A sketch for the Conard garden in the third issue, October 11, reveals an

almost identical image of the current Conard garden.

The Collegian Vol. 52, 1967– 1968

newspaper posted students’ acceptance into medical school or dental school.

There was a weekly section called “Lines at Random,” which was kind of like a mix between our Verbatim and Collegian Wisdom. One of the comments from the sixth issue on November 1, 1962, was, “BIG NEWS on the ever-changing campus social scene — as of this weekend, freshmen will become mature enough to date. We wish everyone luck in finding room in the Conard parlor.”

Forty-five years ago, The Collegian ran an article called “Married Students Organize Homes.” The article basically instructed newly married female college students on how to be both a wife and a student. Suggestions on daily schedules (such as waking up 45 minutes before their husband to make breakfast), dishes, ironing, and shopping were included.

On February 1, 1968, the 13th issue of the year printed an article entitled “New Hairdryers Beautify Conard.” New hairdryers were purchased and placed in the Conard beauty salon, free for all residents to use.

The Collegian used to post the honor roll, complete with names, credit hours, and grade-point averages. Congratulations to Alden Thompson for getting a 4.0 while taking 18 credits in 1963.

Five years later, the honor roll was still being printed. Congratulations Tom Thompson for your 3.89 while taking 19 credits in 1968. In addition to the honor roll, the

There was a tuition change per hour made during this school year. After this quarter, a new flat rate of $28.50 per credit hour would be charged. On May 2, The Collegian actually printed the ASWWC elections statistics for the first time. It covered a full page and listed every possible detail, including the number of votes and the dorm or campus each set of votes came from. An article was published alongside the votes commending the student body for their maturity in allowing the results to be posted.

Photos by The Collegian



Walla Walla College History




A little over 10 years ago, Terrie Aamodt wrote a book about WWC. This page notes a few interesting facts about our university’s history. If you are interested in learning more, there are copies of her book in the library. Bold Venture: A History of Walla Walla College

Photos by The Collegian







In 1984,







A team of illusionists pull off enormous bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the stolen money. The conflict begins when the FBI begins to investigate their "shows."

The Kings of Summer May 31 With a giant act of rebellious adolescence, three teenage friends run off to spend the summer building a house in the forest and living off the land. Inspiring drama, here we come.

After Earth May 31

Will the new M. Night Shyamalan feature be a flop or a hit? We can never rely on him these days, but this futuristic adventure with Will Smith and his son could produce good results.

The Hangover Part III May 23

The trilogy finally wraps up the mishaps of the three best friends that anybody could have in this gigantic finale. I have a pretty good idea of what the general plot will be, based on the first two, and I'm sure it will be glorious.

Binge Watch the Summer Grant Perdew Culture Editor

You know the feeling. You're caught up in an old show, and suddenly you want more. Since you're on the Internet, you have entire seasons at your fingertips. Before you know it, 15 hours have passed and you are thoroughly indulged in Mad Men. With

recent technological advances, computers have allowed people to binge watch TV. Instead of watching your favorite show every week, you could sit back and view all 28 current episodes of Game of Thrones in one sitting. Recently, television writers have used many sneaky tricks to get us hooked. People binge watch because they can. We like to gorge ourselves on it until there's no more left. Shows like Game of Thrones and

Breaking Bad are addictive because they are designed that way. It's all about continuing to raise pressing questions about characters you care about as you answer others. So as my final word as Culture editor, I invite you to skip the binge this summer and enjoy the beautiful outdoors. Though if you haven't caught up on what's happening in King's Landing, you'd better flipping drop everything and do it.


"Diane Young" The effervescent New Yorkers have released a mature third album with this double-entendre bopper exploring mortality at the helm.

CHVRCHES "Recover" With distinctive voice and powerful rhythms, the Scottish electropoppers represent the legacy of synthpop brilliance. Also, they just made BBC's 2013 list of most promising new music talent.

Imagine Dragons "Dreams" The Las Vegas quartet has been filling our ears a lot this year and will continue to inspire us to feel like we're on top of the world ‌ until we imagine dragons destroying this soon-to-be-overplayed tune.

Fake Shark Real Zombie "Paint It Gold" The Canadian freak-pop band combines elements of intelligent dance music and post-hardcore, resulting in a summer anthem of fun and angst.

Fergie, Q-Tip, and Goonrock "A Little Party Never Killed Nobody" Yes, this is the third Gatsby song I've featured thus far, but it's so much fun! This is what you would get if you cross the roaring '20s with the "Party Rock Anthem".

Daft Punk

"Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams)" The French duo's long-anticipated return has come; this time they're collaborating with a mix of unexpected legends like Giorgio Moroder and The Strokes.

Demi Lovato "Heart Attack" This could soon become the most overplayed song of the summer, but for now we can dance ravenously to her passion-filled, powerful, gut-wrenching vocals.

Conway "The Growl" Star Trek director J.J. Abrams and Anne Conway wrote this house jam together for a futuristic club scene in his new film. You can't help but groove a bit.

ey are nuing acters So as e you enjoy you ng in drop


Thanks for being the best roommate ever by never being here.


Get a Job Eric Weber

Diversions Editor


I like you so much that if the boat were sinking and there were only one life jacket ... I would miss you a lot.


Hello, faithful readers. As you know, I’m a fairly volatile individual. One moment I’m enjoying the nice spring weather, and the next moment I’m cussing out a bumblebee that thought it was appropriate to interrupt my conversation. But even though I tend to be on the crazy (or passionate) side of things, I have found there are two things of which I am incapable — firstly: holding grudges, and secondly: old people. What do these two things have in common? Absolutely nothing. But holding grudges is a waste of your time. (If you’re holding a grudge, you either need to get a job or take a math class, because you got too much time on your hands.) It’s counterproductive and it prohibits you from moving forward with your life. (Yes, we all know you don’t like George W. Bush; that’s OK, but it’s time to move on.) So this is my parting advice: Always shave and never wax. And don’t take life too seriously; it’s too short to focus on the things you can’t change. So go out this summer and live, experience, and grow, because you never know the next time you’ll be able to stay up all night drinking Red Bull and eating Cheetos. Unless you’re Lindsay Lohan; then that’s just your average Wednesday. …





Wood Floors, New Bleachers Tye Forshee Sports Editor

This summer, another phase of renovations will take place in the WEC that will greatly improve student life on campus. Currently the WEC gymnasium has a floor made of rubber, a very outdated floor that over time has developed holes

and gashes in it. The lines on the gymnasium floor are like a maze, and those playing basketball don’t even know from where to shoot free throws. The wooden bleachers in the gym take an army of people to pull out of the wall and folding the bleachers back against the wall is a strenuous task at best. With the gymnasium in dire need of updating, the time has finally come. This summer, all of those complaints will be laid to rest as a new wood floor for the WEC will

Till the End Trevor Boyson

Ryan Spady Male Athlete of the Year

Sports Editor

By all normal standards, the Pittsburgh Penguins would’ve felt good going on the road for game three of the Eastern Conference Semifinals. They had managed to secure both wins at home before heading on the road to continue their battle against the Ottawa Senators. The Pens were looking to grab game three on Sunday to all-but-secure their berth into the next round of the playoffs. The Senators, unable to steal that close second game in Pittsburgh, looked stuck on the ropes. Starting Goaltender Craig Anderson was coming off of a game where he played so poorly he was unceremoniously benched halfway through the game. Ottawa’s star player, Jason Spezza, was returning to the ice in time for game three after missing everything since the fifth game of the

regular season due to a back injury. No one, even Spezza himself, had a clue if he could shake off the rust to help his struggling team. The Penguins were hoping to crush all hope for the Senators in Ottawa Sunday night. But the Senators had different ideas. Ottawa came out of the gate with a quick tempo and a high level of intensity and physicality. Pittsburgh matched it and both teams seemed unable to score. Penguin goalie Tomas Vokoun’s stalwart play seemed unbeatable. Previously questionable Anderson was bouncing back to have an excellent game in goal for the Senators. Spezza was also showing promise and was proving to be a lot to handle for the Penguin defense. The deadeven match was broken open when Penguin Tyler Kennedy scored off the post. Going into the last minute, I was thoroughly enjoying what had been a scrappy, hard-hitting, passionate hockey game. Then everything went crazy. Everything felt hopeless for the Senators. They had a player in the penalty box and were short

be put in place as well as new, updated bleachers that can easily be set up with the aid of a builtin motor. The wood floor will be laid on top of the old floor to minimize labor costs, and the interior walls of the gym will be painted. The new wood floor will only take an estimated five weeks to install and complete, so compared to last year’s renovation there is less work involved. The new wood floor will be a sight to behold after dealing with an outdated rubber floor.

handed. They were forced to pull their goalie out of the net just to have an even number of attackers, and time was running out. And then Daniel Alfredsson scored in the last 30 seconds to tie the game, shocking everyone in the building. The place went ballistic, and my jaw was on the ground. What ensued was the same level of frenetic play through two overtime periods. Everyone seemed tired, but no one quit or slowed down. Both goalies repeatedly found ways to stop incredible shots and scoring opportunities until, finally, Colin Greening found a way to put in a rebound from a tough angle for his Ottawa Senators. I know hockey isn’t the most popular game in the world, but Sunday’s performance by both the Senators and the Penguins was a fantastic reminder at how great the Stanley Cup Playoffs can be. It showcases men who skate till they drop and rewards the teams who refuse to quit grueling battles.

Photos by WWU Athletic Department

Dani Carlman Female Athlete of the Year

Varsity Awards

Angels player Mike Trout became the youngest player in A.L. history to hit for the cycle. Brian Urlacher has retired Game One Miami Heat — 103 Indiana Pacers — 102 To view pictures, standings, and schedules for intramurals, visit wallawallauintramurals.

Tye Forshee

Sports Editor

Last Sunday, awards were handed out to athletes of the Walla Walla University Wolves. Awards included MVP as well as academic awards. For men’s basketball, Miguel Martinez was voted MVP. Martinez's strong presence down low for the Wolves was a mainstay throughout the

season. Luke Spady was voted most inspirational for men’s basketball for his hard work and determination throughout the season. For women’s basketball, Lauren Pernu was awarded most inspirational player and Dani Carlman was voted MVP. In men’s soccer, Christian Willing was awarded most inspirational and Andres Diocares was voted MVP. In softball, Kristi Hernandez was awarded most inspirational and Katie Wilson was voted MVP. In volleyball, Emily Yip was voted most inspirational and Kelsie Schafer was voted MVP.

For male athlete of the year, Ryan Spady took the award for his exemplary character, leadership, and production on the court. Female athlete of the year went to Dani Carlman for her perseverance through injuries, her steady production on the court, and her leadership on the team. Coach of the year went to Jimmy Hill for his outstanding work with the men’s basketball team. Special recognition goes out to Tim Windemuth for his outstanding service to Walla Walla University as athletic director for the school for 30 years.




Chocolate Chip Candy Bar Cookies Amy Alderman Food Editor

As any good meal or recipe collection or column should, let’s appropriately end with the best part — cookies. I hope the recipes I’ve shared with you over the past year have not only made your tummies grumble but have also inspired you to try new things — new recipes, new kinds of food, or new ingredients. Go ahead and try out the new restaurant in town for fun. Be adventurous and try the funny-looking vegetable at the grocery store. Take a cooking class, a cake decorating class, or something that will challenge you.

Learn to cook and bake food at home. It will help you live a healthier lifestyle, and in the long run it may be more cost effective. If your budget is tight, it’s completely possible to eat for $15 a week per person if you purchase the right kinds of foods. Learn how at bit. ly/2cMe6J. You may also have the chance to experiment with food — maybe even a chemistry experiment. Well, Foodie friends, it’s been fun. If you live in the neighborhood or if you’re traveling through five, 10, or 50 years from now, let’s catch up over dinner. I’d love to see where life has taken you. And finally, remember that the answer is cookies — always.

Chocolate Chip Candy Bar Cookies Preheat oven: 350°F What you’ll need: stockpot, knife, blender, mesh strainer ¾ cup unsalted butter 1 cup granulated sugar ½ cup light brown sugar 1 egg 1 egg yolk 1 tsp. maple extract 1 tsp. chocolate extract

2 Tbsp. heavy whipping cream 2¼ cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp. salt 1 cup semisweet mini chocolate chips ¾ uncooked oats ½ cup pecans, chopped 1 cup caramel-filled chocolate candies

Melt butter, sugar, and brown sugar together in a microwave for 40 seconds on medium to low power. Be careful not to burn the butter. Let the butter-and-sugar mixture cool just a bit and then blend in the egg and egg yolk. Add the maple and chocolate extract with the heavy cream to the wet mixture. Stir all together and set aside. Sift dry ingredients together and fold the wet mixture in carefully. Add chocolate chips, oats, and pecans. Chill dough in the freezer for approximately five minutes to make sure it is cold. Using an ice cream scoop, drop dough onto a parchment-lined cookie sheet. Press caramel-filled chocolate candies on top of the cookie. Bake for 10–12 minutes and then transfer to a wire rack to cool. Photo by Amy Alderman

Foodie Books and Blogs

Starting out, two must-have staples in your recipe book collection are the Betty Crocker’s Cookbook and the Better Homes & Gardens cookbook. Some of my favorite foodie blogs include Smitten Kitchen, Table for Two, The Novice Chef Blog, Joy the Baker, and Shutterbean. Bon appétit!




Travel Therapy Megan Cleveland

Travel Editor

You know those days: the travel bug hits you, wanderlust overcomes you, and you just want to get away. For me, this is especially true as the year is coming to a close; procrastination is getting even harder to surmount, and I can almost taste the freedom of summer. I do not wish to be the bearer of bad news, but we still have a few weeks to trek through. Being a fellow travel addict and participant in procrastination, I would like to present you a temporary cure: travel films. Here are a few of my personal favorites to help temporarily remedy the travel bug.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS In this Woody Allen film, you will accompany writer Gil Pender (Owen Wilson) on his Parisian adventure. Gil and his fiancé, Inez (Rachel McAdams), travel to Paris on a leisurely vacation, but everything changes when Gil finds

himself transported back to Paris in the 1920s. While traveling back in time, Gil meets a variety of famous musicians, writers, and artists from the 1920s, from Picasso and Dalí to F. Scott Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein to Cole Porter. In addition to the array of famous historical figures, Midnight in Paris features many beautiful shots of the best Paris has to offer.

THE DARJEELING LIMITED All aboard for the quirkiest family vacation to ever hit the big screen! This eccentric and eclectic Wes Anderson film follows three brothers, Francis (Owen Wilson), Peter (Adrien Brody), and Jack (Jason Schwartzman), on their train excursion across India. After Francis insists on the brothers taking a trip to strengthen their brotherly bond, the three brothers begin their journey. In addition to surviving many mishaps, including a venomous snake loose on the train and the train getting lost, Peter, Jack, and Francis work through their differences and learn to get along. This film captures the best of train travel, family vacations, and improvised fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants adventures, all with that special Wes Anderson flair.

Last Words Karl Wallenkampf Health & Wellness Editor

Run for the hills, the end is nigh! Whether you run back down, bike back down, or stay up there, the out of doors is beckoning us. Before you burst out of the classrooms, we do have to make it a few more weeks until that summer I’ve been dreaming of for weeks arrives. As the quarter comes to a close, so does my position as Health and Wellness editor. I’ve dredged through Academic Search Premier just like I was taught and written about much: from middle-aged Korean women to Daniel Craig, with fat rats and Women’s Health in between. While I found many things, if I

could have you take any pieces of advice away from this column, it would be these: Exercise makes your brain stronger and you smarter. Why can I say this? I’ll start with rats. Two groups were created: normaldiet rats and highfat-diet rats. Before the diet, University of Minnesota researchers put them through an obstacle course; then they put the rats through again after the diets were over. What happened? Those with normal diets did as well as before, while rotund ones botched the course. They split the group again: Some of the normal-diet rats exercised while others didn’t, and some

L’AUBERGE ESPAGNOLE In order to advance his career, Xavier (Romain Duris) decides to travel to Spain to study economics with the Erasmus program. He hops on a plane, leaving his girlfriend and mother back in Paris, and sets off for a year of studying in Barcelona. Xavier soon finds himself living in a cramped apartment along with six other roommates from all over Europe, creating a cultural melting pot. They struggle together through the good times and the bad during the year and create a one-of-a-kind bond. This film, directed by Cédric Klapisch, is a mélange of culture and languages that comes together to create a profound sense of unity and connectedness. A must watch for any former or soon-to-be ACA students.

180° SOUTH Following in the footsteps of adventurers Yvon Chouinard and

of the high-fat-diet rats exercised while others didn’t. The results showed that even if they were eating high-fat diets, rats who exercised improved their memory and ability to think through the problems.1 Then again, if you don’t trust the rats, trust the humans. Women’s Heath published research showing that when exercising, more blood is pumped to the brain — eventually resulting in greater capillary growth that can feed your thinking. Also, Irish researchers put students through “brain-taxing tests,” after which they had half the group sit about while the other

"The results of a better diet are paradigm shifting."

Doug Tompkins on their 1968 excursion, Jeff Johnson embarks on a journey to Patagonia. During his travels he has many amazing experiences but also learns how powerful Mother Nature can be. He surfs the biggest wave he has ever experienced, fights through rough water off the coast of Easter Island, and ascends Cerro Corcovado. This documentary has strong themes of how human consumption and commercial interests are posing a threat to the planet. The amazing scenery and unique soundtrack make this movie a delight to watch.

OUTSOURCED After he is asked to manage a newly outsourced call center in India, Todd Anderson (Josh Hamilton) sets off for a new adventure. When he arrives, he soon realizes how vastly different India and its culture are. Todd begins his new job and also begins learning how to adjust to all the challenges his new life brings. Finally, as time passes, Todd acclimates to the culture and practices of his Indian coworkers and learns to appreciate their traditions and outlook on life. This film does a great job at showing the stages of culture shock and the process of adjusting to a new environment.

half pedaled away on stationary bikes for a half hour and then took the test again. The results? The exercisers’ scores improved in a grand fashion while the sedentary students had no benefit.2 The results of a better diet are paradigm shifting. Despising sugar during autumn quarter had a profound effect on my health: I saw that I lost weight and I felt better about myself. Winter and spring quarters I worked on Joel Fuhrman’s diet, and now the majority of my food is raw vegetables, leafy greens, fruit, and grains. While I still splurge on a blueberry bagel, I’ve found my diet has shifted. I no longer love Italian food as I once did: I prefer Asian because it feels lighter and less heavy.3 I’ve gone to Continued on page 23



Outlandish Solutions Spencer Cutting Science & Tech Editor

Sometimes, in the quest to solve great challenges and push the bounds of the possible, people come up with some pretty zany creations. Some of my favorite pieces of technology fall into this category, and I’d like to share them with you. First comes Project Orion. While it wouldn’t have actually been able to travel at the speed of light, if completed it would have traveled among the planets and perhaps left the solar system. How this was to be achieved is the good part — Project Orion was to be propelled by externally detonated nuclear bombs. The craft (or crafts) was to carry nuclear bombs into space, dropping them behind it as it flew, absorbing the force of their detonation with a massive “pusher” plate.

ered various sizes of spacecraft, plotted trajectories, and even designed nuclear bombs that were in effect shaped charges in order to get the most propulsion out of each bomb. For craft that were to carry human passengers, massive shock absorbers were designed to make surfing on nuclear shockwaves survivable. Eventually the project was cancelled, but not before they made a tiny one powered by C4.1 Next are the Ekranoplans, which unbelievably were actually built.2 In short, they were gigantic Soviet sea-faring aircraft that couldn’t actually fly (as such). The Ekranoplans were ground-effect aircraft — planes that take advantage of the fact that lift is dramatically higher near the ground. By taking advantage of this extra lift, you can reduce something called liftdependent drag and fly much more efficiently than would otherwise be possible.

"Project Orion was to be propelled by externally detonated nuclear bombs."

They put a lot of work into engineering the thing too. From 1957–1965, engineers considContinued from page 22 restaurants I used to crave and now I wish I had just eaten a salad. I love food, yes, and I am by no means some crazed health nut, but I have encountered firsthand the psychological and physiological benefits of eating well. I encourage you to do the same. Go with God: Your life just might improve. In a Western Journal of Black Studies study, researchers found that those respondents who put greater importance on spirituality and religious experience correlated with better health-promoting

The Soviet Union produced a wide variety of Ekranoplans, many of which could skim across the sea at hundreds of miles per hour, culminating with the massive Caspian Sea Monster.3 At 100 meters long and weighing a massive 544 tons, it was the largest aircraft behaviors than those with lower scores on spirituality and religious experience.4 Likewise, other researchers studied college students in health and wellness classes at the University of Tennessee. These researchers found that those college students who invested in a spiritual life experienced better health in general, though they were making stressful decisions that could seriously affect their well-being.5 Life is holistic: Body and mind are far too interconnected to ever divide. One shouldn’t try to. Exercise improves your

in the world until the early ’80s.4 To this day it holds the record for the largest weight lifted by an aircraft. While the era of the Ekranoplans may be over, the era of hilariously dangerous ground-effect aircraft is not, thanks to the always-practical folks at Hammacher Schlemmer. If you’ve got $190,000 to drop, you can buy the Flying Hovercraft — a vehicle that is both a hovercraft and a ground-effect plane, capable of flying at 70 mph.5 Apparently Hammacher Schlemmer has done some expert legal finagling, because the Flying Hovercraft only requires registration as a boat. If it weren’t so expensive, we’d be in for some trouble. Last up is something you’re all familiar with: the penny-farthing, also known as the highwheel, ordinary, or old-timey bicycle.6 The penny-farthing is as impractical and dangerous as it is hilarious — it has no gears, rides on solid tires, and if you stop too fast, you topple over the handlebar (which is a dangerous possibility six feet off the ground). Thankfully, there are people other than me in the world who still like them. Last year the town of Frederick, Md., brain and your mind, knowledge of diet keeps your body sound, and your spiritual walk calms you down so you can make better decisions and follow the life you want to live. Keep these points in mind, and I wish you a wonderful summer and efficient studying. And hey, the long weekend is a day away — live it up! 1. Gretchen Reynolds, “Can Exercise Protect the Brain From Fatty Foods?” The New York Times, 7 Nov. 2012, 2. Selene Yeager, “Train Your Brain: Want a beautiful mind? Sculpt a beautiful body,” Women’s Health, Oct. 2012, 72-75.

Photo by Stock Archives of Soviet Navy

held their first annual high wheel race.7 (This year’s is scheduled for August 17, 2013.)8 Forget about the details of the race and just watch the awesomeness here.9 If any of you want to get in the game yourself (or make me the happiest science and technology editor in the world), you can find beautiful modern replicas here10 and here. 11 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11.

3. Don’t get me wrong: I have tasted wonderful Italian, and it will always have a warm place in my heart — it just won’t have a plaque-y place in my heart. 4. Reid Bowen, Terra L., and Ciara Smalls. 2004, "Stress, Spirituality and Health Promoting Behaviors Among African American College Students," Western Journal of Black Studies 28, 1:283-291, Academic Search Premier, EBSCOhost (accessed 27 Nov. 2012) 289. 5. Linda Nelms, Edwin Hutchins, Dorothy Hutchins, and Robert Pursley. 2007, "Spirituality and the Health of College Students," Journal of Religion and Health 46, no. 2: 249-265, Academic Search Premier, EBSCOhost (accessed Nov. 27, 2012).

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The Heel “Wry bred since 1991”

Thanks for a good year, Onions. Enjoy the torrential sun and rain.


SUPER JEWEL QUEST This is your last chance to quest for jewels — email me and redeem super prizes. This week’s paper jewels are pictured at

“I want to set up a Bible study for just women ... and me.”

What advice would you give your freshman self? “Probably to not worry about the next four to five years, but to do something I like every day, little Emily.” Emily Muthersbaugh

— Blake Engelhart

“I gave up my faith in humanity when I took this job.” — Cedric Thiel, head copy editor

“I wiped the floor with him, and I don’t think he realized it.” — Daniel Peverini, on the blue shirts challenging student beliefs

“D2L is like Facebook — just when you get used to it, they screw everything up.”

— Kyle Craig

“Have you ever been involved in any occult practices or dabbled in the dark arts?” — Misty Puymon, searching a student’s room Kip Dynamite, freshman year

The third last jewel looks over lawns as high as guys and girls can climb; its perch disused, and put up on the big house, north of cyclops’ eye. The second’s spot, if literal, would keep a jewel that circumscribes its watery home, though it does not, and keeps nearer to glassy sides. The final jewel for you to find ends just where also will your time upon our campus, friends nearby, take ten steps north of our school’s sign.

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Julian Weller The Heel Editor

This is my last column, Onions. “Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow,” said one slice of bread to the other, said the comb to the hair, said Moses to the Red Sea—but on they all went. That’s right; you won’t have Julian Weller to kick around anymore. It’s on to larger, greener pastures for this page editor. This summer: the cliffs of Rosario! Next autumn: the rolling hills and gentle dells of … College Place, Washington. Oh, right — despite having 241 credits under my belt out of 192 required, I still have one (just one …) class to take before I can graduate. So as most of my friends matriculate, I’ll see you next fall in the Feature section. Despite my second coming next fall, I’m

still in an elegiac mood, and it’s all because I went to Whitman’s commencement last Sunday. I might not be graduating, but plenty of my good friends are, and that’s enough to sharpen my sense of loss as I hand over The Heel to Rachel Logan (salt in the wounds, Rachel). In light of this tragedy, I’ve got some parting words of wisdom for you, and they’re the closest thing to fatherly advice I’ll probably ever get to dispense to a bunch of strangers until I become a commencement speaker.1 Wisdom nugget the first:2 Be curious, “always and forever,” in the words of Kip Dynamite. Curiosity is the key to ever becoming an interesting, intelligent person. Only curious people really look at the world around them, wonder how it works, and wonder how to work with it. Only curious people really learn things, because you need have a question in mind, however simple, to find an answer. When I hear a friend say someone is so smart or

“Apply for an off-campus job.” Elizabeth Jones

“Be as involved as physically possible ... without overdoing it. ” Tasha Haddad

“Take your time and try as many new opportunities as you can find.” Allison Berger

“Take a barista job. It just seems like one of those skills that willl stand you in good stead the rest of your life.” Kip Dynamite, senior year

interesting, I’m really conflicted. I don’t believe any of you guys are inherently better than each other, so I want to say, “You can do it too! Be smarter if you want!” On the other hand, some people, like Eric Weber, are just better than the rest of us. I don’t know why. That’s just the way it is. Intelligence isn’t just a vertical spectrum. It’s not a mountain you climb in Neoplatonic ascent until you’re floating with Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Stephen Hawking in the stratosphere. It’s grounded; intelligence follows the horizon. The more you wander and climb, the more of life you become aware of existing beyond yourself, the more curious you become, and the more you learn. So follow your nose. If you smell something good, chase it down and rip it apart with your mind-ibles. Get involved: Take those lessons. Write that senate bill. Apply for that job. Study abroad.3

Rebecca Brothers

Onions, some of you have a few more years left before you’re yanked out into the real world for harvest, and forced to sell yourselves in some market or other. I recommend you explore what you can and grow in as many ways as possible while you still have time. Walla Walla University has surprisingly fertile soil (abnormally, even … weird), so if you’ve ever wanted to try your hand at something, hurry up and grow! It’ll make you sweeter. I’ll see you next fall, sprouts. In two weeks a prettier face than mine will grace this page, and an Onion with less charisma than Jim Mayne will greet you in the Feature section. Do your best to persecute the former and welcome the latter. It’s been a pleasure, Onions. Avanti. 1. What an odd tradition. “Hey, strangers, here’s some life advice.” 2. ... And, it turns out, the only. 3. ... Or two, if they’re OK with it.

Volume 97, Issue 28  

The WWU You Never Knew

Volume 97, Issue 28  

The WWU You Never Knew