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Maddy Baird

and the legacy of those we have lost The Collegian

dear reader,

I hope you had a fantastic Valentine’s Day (or, as many know it, Singles Awareness Day). Being in a long-distance relationship definitely made this Valentine’s Day feel like I’m single, but I won’t take the time to whine about that here. I do want to talk about our special feature for this week, which is a more somber issue. Death is one of those things that college students don’t expect to ever come into contact with. Many tend to think that they are invincible and that they can conquer the world. However, things happen in our lives which make us realize that this isn’t necessarily the case. As we think about those that we’ve lost, I hope that you will cherish the legacy that they left and be inspired to leave your own unique mark on this world. Remember Ephesians 2:10, where it says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

These are a few of my favorite things about Walla Walla University… #1 Our school has many places to study on campus. #2 Our school has an esoteric history about a “half-tree” symbol. #3 Our school has some really cool underground tunnels. #4 Our school has a wall of alumni signatures in the belfry room. #5 Our school has counseling services available at no cost.

Thank you for supporting The Collegian through your generous encouragement and contributions. You can send any comments, questions, or contributions to aswwu. or As always, enjoy and IPFY (i.e. I’m praying for you) every day!

Whether you are grieving the death of a loved one, struggling with depression, or feeling under the weight of the world, you are not alone. The university offers free counseling services in the Counseling, Testing, and Wellness Center located on the main floor of Meske Hall (that weird old building situated between the girls’ dorm and the cafe). If you or someone you know is struggling, don’t be ashamed to seek help. I can personally vouch for the difficulty in trying to deal with problems on your own. Sometimes, you need someone to talk to and, if you don’t want to talk to your friends, talking with a counselor is a helpful thing to do. If you get nothing out of this, I hope you leave knowing one thing: you are not alone, and there are people who are there to pick you up and get you on your feet.

Editor-in-chief Matthew Moran








Table of Contents | 02 News & Senate | 03 Week in Forecast | 04

editor-in-chief Matthew Moran assistant editor Abigail Wissink Head layout editor Frank Ramirez Head Copy editor Sophia Rich

Feature | 05 Devotional & Religion | 10 Creative Writing | 11

layout designers Anna-Marie Vargas Claudia Curtis Geoffrey Lopes Hannah Chebeleu

columnist Joni Harris

news writers Kyler Alvord Lauren Epperson

Fashion writer Angelica Chan

Copy Editors Katherine Beckner Amelia Pekar food writer Mason Neil feature editors Michael Jensen Ysabela Ramirez Bryndilynn Goodlyn

Life editor Micah Hall

humor writer Micah Hall

backpage editor Lauren Wahlen

opinion writer Yvanna Hammen-Alvarez

religion writer Vixie Bailey


Devotional writer Christina Moran


SM/ACA & Column | 12 Humor & Fashion | 13 Culture & Food | 14 Science & Matchmaker | 15 Sunny Side Up | 16

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, speak with one of our illustrious staff members. The Collegian is enhanced by regularly incorporating a wide range of campus perspectives.

Culture/travel writer Darling Su ACA/SM Editor Stephanie Septembre Science writer Jordan Brooks Creative writing editor Mac Ford global service writer Daniel Villarreal

Cover Credit: ASWWU The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu. or This issue was completed at 11:00 P.M. on Wednesday, February 15 , 2017.

Office Manager AnneMarie Vixie distributor Victoria Ico

The Collegian | Volume 101, Issue 16 | 204 S. College Avenue, College Place, WA 99324



MAKE A DIFFERENCE Kyler Alvord News Writer

Walla Walla University loves tradition. We blow the shofar before every vespers, we listen to the out-of-tune “church bells” every 60 minutes, and we celebrate Black History Month with the same few events every year. While the annual themed Sodexo meal and Gospel CommUnity keep the Black History Month celebrations fun, students continually complain that the holiday on the whole is outdated and irrelevant to our campus. Timothy Golden, director of legal studies and professor of philosophy, believes that black history applies to all Americans, not just African Americans. When he watched a broadcast of the one-man play “Thurgood” on TV last year, he knew it was just the thing that our campus needed to see. He purchased two copies of the script and gave one to David Crawford, instructor of communications and wwudrama director, to read over. “We were looking for something different to do for Black History Month, something more significant than we’ve been doing in the past,” Crawford said. After reading through the script, he agreed that it contained an invaluable message that would shed light on the importance of Black History Month. “Thurgood” tells the story of Supreme Court Justice from Marshall Thurgood from a first-person perspective. “The whole show is set at Howard University, so it’s as if we were going to Howard to watch Thurgood Marshall speak,” Crawford said. “He starts from the beginning of his life and goes all the way through the end of his term on the Supreme Court.” Most of us have heard of Marshall, but few know the contributions he made to desegregate

the country. “Thurgood Marshall honestly believed that the constitution of the United States applied to everyone,” Golden said, “and he spent his entire life trying to convince people and trying to convince America to live up to its promises.” Marshall was a huge proponent of applying the Constitution to every American, and he was the lead lawyer on the Brown v. Board of Education case that desegregated schools in the 1950s. His fight for equality started in college when he and Langston Hughes went to the movie theater and got fed up with being seen as less than. “He asked himself, ‘Am I gonna be treated differently for the rest of my life because of the color of my skin?’” Crawford said. “Langston told him that one man can make a difference, and ‘one man can make a difference’ is the quote that informs the rest of his life, because for the rest of his life, he works to be the difference.” Crawford will be directing WWU’s rendition of “Thurgood,” and Golden will play Marshall, following in the footsteps of legendary actors James Earl Jones and Laurence Fishburne. “I don’t really deserve to be mentioned in the same breath with actors of that caliber,” Golden said. “I feel very unworthy and I feel very humbled.” At a glance, it might be confusing why a philosophy professor would be involved with wwudrama, but it actually makes plenty of sense. Golden, who has a juris doctor and doctorate in philosophy, began taking acting classes in 2012 and fell in love with the art. He considers himself to be a storyteller, and acting became another way to do that. “In the classroom, I tell the story of western thought by teaching philosophy. In the courtroom, I tell the stories of my clients in front of judges and juries. On the stage, I tell the stories of characters who can lead audiences to the truth,” he said. This will be his fourth drama performance at WWU, and the first with a one-name cast list.


Performing a one-man show is no easy feat, and Golden has been practicing since the summer. “I have to compile everything that I’ve learned and draw upon everything that I’ve been taught as an actor,” Golden said, but Crawford feels confident in his ability. “He’ll come to rehearsal and be like, ‘Last night I memorized five pages.’ It blows my mind,” Crawford said. The show will be an hour and a half of Golden speaking, and in order to keep it from sounding like a speech, it’s critical that he allows his character to connect with the audience. “I’m going to do my very very best to render a performance and an interpretation of Thurgood Marshall that will be a blessing to our campus community and the community at large,” Golden said. “I hope that one of the takeaways of this performance will be that, yes he dealt with issues of concern to the African American community, but they’re also concerns of the general goodwill of the people.” The show opens tonight, Feb. 16, at 7:30 p.m. in the Donnie Rigby Black Box Theatre. It will also run on Saturday, Feb. 18, and Sunday, Feb. 19, at 7:30 p.m. Admission is free, but donations will be accepted for the Donald Blake Center for the Study of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture. “Even though we like to say that segregation ended in the 50s, it really didn’t. The letter of the law ended, but we’re still built on a system in which those with privilege are able to achieve more than those without,” Crawford said. “This is drama’s contribution to something important, to the social good, and to the Donald Blake Center which is going to do really important work to the racial and cultural relations on campus.” This performance isn’t only about breaking tradition at WWU, it’s about breaking tradition in the way society operates and showing that one man really can make a difference.

SENATE This week, Senate had six bills in old business and one bill in new business.


new BUSINESS G.L. 12 - CYCLICAL HIRING PROCESS This would set specific times for hiring ASWWU department heads and other employees.

If you have any questions about these bills, contact your senator. More information will be available in your Senate update email! There is an opening for a senator in District 7 - Hallmark Apartments/ Faculty Court/University-Owned Housing. Email Chris Ghazal if you would like to run.

LOOKING FOR BAE Lauren Epperson News Writer Couples and singles alike joined together to celebrate Valentine’s Day at the ASWWU Mixer. Hosted in the Havstad Alumni Center, the ASWWU social team brought a great mix of activites for couples and singles on Feb. 12 at 7 p.m.

There was speed dating upstairs for those looking to find that special someone for Valentine’s Day and the newlywed’s game for those who have been dating for a while. Refreshments—sparkling juice, chocolate fountain, and pizza—were offered for the guests, as well as live music and activities. A photo booth was available for those who wanted to take cute photos with their bae, or for single friends to bond together.

Festive decorations and lively atmosphere created a fun event for people to mingle and get to know one another. “It was really funny to see best friends Tommy and Clayton win one of the couple games!” said Mareliza Dejesus, a senior business major, Friends, couples, and singles were all together enjoying this great break from weekend studying.


Election Events GENERAL ELECTIONS: Feb 21 @11 a.m. in the WEC







Feb 16

Feb 17

Feb 18

“Thurgood,” performed by Timothy Golden 7:30 p.m. Black Box

WWU Scholarship Application 2017-2018 Deadline at 5:00 p.m. Apply at

“Thurgood,” performed by Timothy Golden 7:30 p.m. Black Box

Impact 9:30 p.m. SAC







Feb 19

Feb 20

Feb 21

“Thurgood,” performed by Timothy Golden 7:30 p.m. Black Box

Snow Frolic Day NO SCHOOL

Career & Internship Fair 4-7:00 p.m. WEC

Dark Chocolate: Sweet Path to Good Health 5:00 p.m. Village Church Fellowship Hall

The Power of Food: Health cooking class 6:00 p.m. Walla Walla General Hospital

Music Recital 7:00 p.m. FAC Auditorium

Coming up

February 23 ASME Egg Drop Competition February 24-26 42nd Annual AAUW Book Sale Marcus Whitman Hotel

February 24-25 CABL Cabining ABC Mountain Retreat, Inc. 78357 ABC Lane Weston, OR 97886

February 25 Guest Recital: Doug Cleveland 5:00 p.m. University Church


Maddy Baird


and the legacy of those we have lost MADDY BAIRD AND THE LEGACY OF THOSE WE HAVE LOST



n the course of my time as campus chaplain, we have lost several members of our campus community: students, teachers, and staff, as well as extended family of those a part of our community. Caring for our community through the loss of someone who is a part of or connected to our campus, in my view, is one of the hardest things about being a chaplain. Loss is never easy, and it was never something we were meant to experience, but we grieve and process these moments best as a community. In my experience, there are few communities I’d rather be a part of during these times than the one we have at Walla Walla University.

Though we have lost many that couldn’t all be named here, I regularly think of some such as Maddy, Shari, Noel, and Kris. I think of brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, children, current and former faculty or staff, and more. But with their losses, I also think about their legacies. Legacy can simply be defined as something we leave behind. How is the world different because of these people who were in it for far too short a time? How is the world different because of our time in it? This past Friday, Feb. 10, we recognized the two-year anniversary of our loss of Madison Jewel Baird. Maddy was a light that shone brightly, and her loss is felt not just by the WWU campus community, but also by WWVA (where she was a student for two years), by the University Church (where she was a member), and by the Big Lake Youth Camp staff.

Her reach was far, as is the reach of most whom we lose, and I continue to hear from people that were either inspired by her life directly, or indirectly as they witnessed a community come together to support each other in the wake of her tragic death. Though I can’t count the impact of Maddy’s legacy on the hearts and minds of individuals, I can share some things that were done, and are being done, in her honor. • Walla Walla and College Place are now discussing adding a bike path down W. Whitman in order to keep people safe. • Maddy’s Mountain is the location of the last place that Maddy, who loved the outdoors, hiked before her accident, and a sign marks the top of the hike. • The #MaddyStrong campaign encourages us to face life with spirit of living to the fullest.

WWU has a history of trying to memorialize those we’ve lost. Several of our statues on campus are related to students, faculty, or staff that died too soon. Our Fitness Center at the WEC is named after one of beloved faculty members, Teri Kuhlman, who died of cancer, and if you look in the north end of Conard Courtyard, you’ll find a stone with a plaque honoring the life of Shari Booth, who passed away in an accident at Rosario. With these anniversaries comes the opportunity to ask ourselves, what will our legacy be? How will we be remembered? What impact have we or are we making in the lives of those around us? Until that day comes when we’re all reunited in the clouds with Jesus, may your legacy encourage and inspire others to live life to the fullest in honor of our Lord and Savior. CONT. ON PAGE 6



JOSIE BAIRD 500-1000 words. How am I supposed to sum up my feelings in a limited space? How am I to capture what it feels like to set a place for three instead of the full four that it used to be? Or how can I possibly capture what it is like to walk past your empty room? Or how about how it feels to hear your name in the past tense, “She was . . .” It isn’t easy, and it isn’t simple. It is complicated. It is hurtful. Grief does things to you. It makes you unreliable, what the world might describe as “irresponsible.” But hey, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Two summers ago, I had planned on working at a summer camp. It was where my sister Maddy had worked for two summers, and she loved it. I was expected to work just a couple months after my sister’s fatal accident. I was afraid at first that it might be too much to handle. Honestly, I didn’t quite know if I could pull it off: acting happy and being expected to perform. But I had a great summer and held it together pretty well. But then the last week of camp came, and one day I just couldn’t do it. I texted my boss and said, “I need to go cry alone.” If you

CARLY IWASA This past week marks two years since the passing of a very loving and a very loved young woman on our campus. Madison Jewel Baird would have had senior class standing this year, had a very tragic accident not taken her life. So for those of you who never had a chance to meet her, or get know her as well as you might have wanted to, here is a bit of her story and the light that she shared with those around her. As you have probably heard, Maddy demonstrated an extreme devotion and love for God. She let this closeness in her walk with Him influence her everyday life. This was evident in that she allowed His love to put her in a state of consciousness that opened her arms and her beautiful heart to embrace whatever, and whoever, was in her presence. In all my life, I’ve never met anyone who could act so incredibly ridiculous in one moment, and talk about the deepest issues of life in the next. Objectively, I remember hearing certain people make remarks like, “That Maddy girl, she’s just on a different level.” Of course, this would usually be in lighthearted, joking manner

have ever worked at Big Lake Youth Camp, you know that you don’t just peace out of there (like ever). But I was like, “BYE!” I ran to my camper van, drove to a nearby town, bought a cute dress and a pair of ridiculously long socks (that I’ve worn twice), and then bought chai, bread, and cheese. I then listened to the Dixie Chicks as I drove to a nearby lake, where I skinny dipped alone. Some might call that “irresponsible,” but that is exactly what grief is. It wakes you up in the middle of the night with a nightmare; you find yourself crying at 2 a.m. on the first day of a new quarter. Sorry if I didn’t show to my 8 a.m. class. You commit to something you’re super excited about, maybe a wedding, or a concert, only to find yourself too exhausted to go. It has made me impulsively buy something unnecessary, because hey, I like that color, and I think it might make me happy. Grief is inconvenient and can often make you feel like less of the person you are capable of being. It exhausts you, turns you inside out, makes you incredibly numb. It makes you super sensitive. But also insensitive, because by now you have become great at controlling your feelings. So by now it doesn’t really cause much of a reaction when

you see your mother crying. Because tears are just a part of life now. Kind of like how the question, “How are you?” becomes scary and long hugs seem unending. Don’t get me wrong, I like the questions and the hugging, but you begin to feel like those actions mean something different than they used to. But grief has another side. Grief shows you what good friends are. You might realize that you have friends willing to hop the fence of a graveyard in the middle of the night just to be with you. It will cause people you don’t even know to send you letters, texts, and flowers just to say, “I’m thinking of you.” It causes you to pray earnestly because that is the only hope you can find. However, sometimes it is hard for me to feel so exposed. Everybody here seems to know what I’ve gone through the last two years, and that can be hard when I just want to blend in and grieve silently. But I realize that I am truly lucky. I am lucky to be in a place surrounded by people who knew my sister and who know me. A place where there are people who still care about how I am doing, and who stop to give me that long hug. There are so many people on this campus that have lost loved ones. Maybe it was 10 years ago, maybe it was last week, but their “world” doesn’t know. They are

(being that she was quite the jokester), but in reality, she was. She simply wasn’t afraid to live out loud; she lived utterly and completely in the moment, but with the intention and conviction that this world is not where we belong. There really are no words to properly explain what a blessing it was to have Madison as one of my closest friends and soul sister. Maddy believed that people were made to enjoy the beauty of life, and attributed her abounding happiness to her Creator. As a person who has struggled with depression most of my life, I was pretty taken aback by Maddy’s aura when I first got to know her about eight years ago. But as I spent more time with her, more often than not, I start to believe in the beauty of my surroundings as well-even if it was just for a moment. She had so much compassion for people. I specifically remember coming back to our dorm room, freshman year, and finding her very emotionally distraught and broken down because we had just heard of an elementary school shooting, on the other side of the country, involving people we didn’t even know. This was one of many situations that made me realize how her heart was truly in the right place, and left me in wonder of the enormity of her love-if she cared

this much about people in general, I could only imagine the weightiness of her love for any of us involved in her personal life. Even when she and I had our incidental, sibling-like fights and arguments, I never for a second felt that she didn’t love me. Her conviction and dedication to being her best self projected onto those around her, pushing others to be the best possible version of themselves they could be. She saw the goodness in people through the eyes of God, and you could feel it whenever she interacted with you. Though she did worry how people perceived her, as everyone does on occasion, she didn’t let it keep her from living and loving to her greatest capacity. Maddy danced like no one was watching, sang like no one could hear, loved like she’d never been hurt, and took on adventure like there was nothing to fear. That’s what I think being “#MaddyStrong” is really about: going about life with the conviction of living it to the fullest, and loving the deepest, regardless of what the cost is. Even with the pain of no longer having her in our earthly lives, the home she made in my heart and the impact she had on my life continues to recenter my thoughts, my actions, and my spiritual priorities. It is my prayer that you allow yourself to feel this too.

suffering silently under an unseen weight. I pray that you have people that still validate your feelings even if it has been 15, 30, or 40 years. Because the pain never goes away, and it never will. Part of loving someone is loving them when it is tough. Loving Maddy while she is not alive is tough. It means crying, buying many flowers, and hugging my crying mother. It means putting up with all the crap life throws at me because I deserve a balanced life. So as you go through life, always remember that you don’t know how the person sitting next you feels, what they have gone through, or what they are going through. So give them a break, give yourself a break. Do what makes you happy, let yourself be irresponsible (within reason), and feel. Sometimes feeling sucks, but it is better than bottling it in. Because feeling is a weird way of keeping that person alive. Because true love never ends, even beyond death. I miss my sister, I love my sister. And I refuse to stop feeling and thinking of her, no matter how hard it is sometimes. Death, grief, and pain ultimately just suck. But what sucks even more is letting those things get in the way of you loving someone, loving someone as important to you as, let’s say . . . maybe a sister.

KURTIS LAMBERTON When I think about legacy, I think about what was left behind. Not in a bad way, like when we go on vacation and an hour into the drive it dawns on us-“Ahh! That’s what I left...”-but rather a lasting impression or impact that somebody has on someone or something. There are all kinds of legacies that have been left for the world to see: strength, love, determination, liberty, evil, hate. When I think about my friend Maddy, I see a legacy of life. That is really strange because when somebody asks me about #MaddyStrong and what that means and what she was like, most often the first thing that comes to my mind is “she was full of life.” But now she’s not. Yet, though her body no longer breathes, and her mind no longer produces thought, her life lives on in her family, her friends, and in me. Her legacy has inspired me to live a life that I’ve never imagined, and I can’t wait to thank her for leaving behind a legacy of life. I love you, Maddy.


TIMMY OLIVER My Friend, Maddy. These sorts of life events don’t just leave you-they can’t. A forever-embedded pathway to a memory of a girl who, in just a few short years, helped shape the mindset and hearts of many individuals, including myself. A few short words are not capable of eloquently describing the depth of impact on my life that she had.

So, who was Maddy and why do I feel a sense of nostalgia and grief when I think about her? Author Norman Geisler says that when trying to recount stories of someone significant to you, rather than trying to embellish the facts with flowery thoughts creating counterfeit ideas of the person, you will instead try and hold fast the integrity of who that person truly was.1 The good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly; holding onto the complete memory of who they were. This is clearly seen in the gospels when telling the story of Jesus. There was no need for embellishment beyond

who he already was because his character plainly portrayed a man of love who was constantly giving to those he encountered. Maddy possessed such qualities. Maddy was a quirky girl with a super bubbly personality who could light up a room just by her mere presence, and of course all the boys seemed to be after her. She was capable of bringing a smile to anyone’s face. She was someone who clearly reflected the character of Christ through her genuine love for everyone she encountered. In her was a spark of life that-if we’re honest with our-


selves-many of us were envious of ! In the end, Maddy was a friend to me, not a legacy. I hold on to who she was rather than the concept of what she represents. She was an irreplaceable soul who left us too soon. To everyone reading this: Embrace the ones you love today and cherish who they truly are. Love them recklessly and give them more than they deserve, because there will come a day when you will no longer be able to give. Geisler, Norman and Frank Turek. "I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist." Crossway Books. 2004.


#MaddyStrong EMILY FIELD “Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start…” Sophomore year, when I saw you for the first time walking down the halls of WWVA, I was jealous: jealous of your smile, your laugh, your personality, your simplistic and natural beauty, and the fact that all these qualities were completely who you were as an individual—no extra effort needed. It was these attributes you held that made me want to be your friend. Remember those times when we drank tea together and you introduced me to chai? When we sat with our friends on a blanket with our pinkies in the air because there was simply no other proper way to drink tea?

Remember when we skipped through the Pergola tunnel in Mirabell Gardens singing at the top of our lungs “Do-Re-Mi,” “My Favorite Things,” “Climb Every Mountain,” “I Have Confidence,” and all the other “Sound of Music” classics as we voyaged through Salzburg and the Austrian countryside? Remember the memories we made when we studied together; led worship together; drove around with the windows down and country music up, singing without a care in the world; when we would laugh so loudly in class that we were told to be quiet; when we would “swim” in the river behind the farm? Remember when Art gave a presentation at school and you beamed with pride; that time when we decided we couldn’t graduate without being ‘Students of the Month’ so we drew self-portraits on sticky notes and posted them to the bulletin board; that time driving back

from Warehouse Beach with my truck full of friends and you decided it was necessary to scream “moooooo” at the top of our lungs to every cow we saw to see how many we could get to look at us? Remember those times when you’d give me rides home that turned into deep conversations? I remember. I remember never wanting our deep conversations and country road drives to ever end. Whenever I think of you, I swear I can hear you laughing. That memory brings a smile to my face and a chuckle to my heart. The sincere and overflowing kindness of your heart is something I will never forget—how could I? Thank you for the letters you wrote to me; for the countless moments of laughter and mischievousness; for sharing a deep love for “The Sound of Music” and country music with me; for the conversations and ignoring

the clock, because the words we were sharing were far more important; for your honesty; for your sense of adventure; for your deep-rooted love; for your incredibly loyal friendship; and for being a daily example of the kind of Godly woman I am always seeking to be. I will never forget the sincere hugs we shared—you definitely gave the best ones. People may call my compilation of memories small, but the meaning each one holds for me is unfathomable. “These are a few of my favorite things” about you. ~ Your forever friend, Emily CONT. ON PAGE 8




Kris Dudar LAUREN HEINRICH I first met Kris when we were kids. Our parents were friends from way back in the day, so it wasn’t uncommon for the Dudar clan to make the trek to Grizzly Flats to visit. While the parents were chatting, we kids would troop outside to play. We would build forts in our barn and explore the woods around our house. As the oldest children of our respective families, Kris and I were obviously in charge, and since they were visiting us, I felt that really I should be the ultimate leader. Kris would have none of it. He was always moving, quick to laugh, and trying to one up the rest of us.

CHLOE MALLORY The Man: Kristopher Dudar (better known by his friends as Kris) was a one of a kind man. He was a man of steel. Kris towered over most people like a strong oak tree. There wasn’t much that could shake him. Kris was a genuine person. Ronald Cameron, one of Kris’ closest friends, had this to say about him: “Kris knew how to make the most out of every moment. He wasn’t afraid to take risks, or have fun. He was his own person.” In the summer Kris spent his time at Leoni Meadows Camp. There, his true cowboy side came out as he worked at cowboy camp as a wrangler. Despite his rough and tumble appearance, Kris had a tender heart. A heart for God. And he wasn’t afraid to share this love with those around him. Kris had an uncanny ability to get along with essentially anyone. Kris also had an amazing sense of humor. He could find the lighthearted side of practically any situation. It was truly a talent and a gift.

About the time we hit high school, our lives got busy and we fell out of touch. We would see each other at various school functions, but only in passing. I thought he had turned into a punk. I didn’t really get to reconnect with Kris until we were both hired as wranglers at Leoni Meadows Camp. I was slightly older than Kris, so I was allowed to drive the Cowboy Camp truck and tractor, and he was not-a fact that irked him considerably. I saw no downside to the arrangement. Over the course of the summer, Kris and I became much better friends than I ever could have predicted. We spent a considerable amount of time bouncing around camp in the pickup, running errands and getting to know each other better. Kris was still the competitive,

fun-loving goofball I remembered. However, 12-year-old Lauren hadn’t seen how kind and gentle Kris was. I was privileged to watch all summer as he patiently worked with the kids and horses, pulling long hours to make sure the program ran smoothly. He had a quiet confidence that put everyone around him at ease, and a sly grin that gave away when he was up to something. As I write this, it has been one year, three months, and 26 days since I last spoke with Kris. Time has given me perspective. Right after the accident, someone told me that time would heal the wound, but they were only half right. My pain is more like a sinking weight pulling down on my heart. Every day I am reminded by my heart that something is missing. Time hasn’t taken the

The Myth: There are many stories that Kris’ friends could tell you from their interactions over the years. Perhaps the most intriguing tale that I have been told about Kris is one of facial hair. It is fabled that Kris could grow one of the most glorious beards known to man. It is this myth that contributed to his alleged nickname, “The Bearded Dragon,” given to him during his time at Leoni Meadows. Kris didn’t just grow a legendary beard; he was always up for an adventure too. Once, on a hike, he fell and managed to get a large gash in his leg which resulted in several stitches. Unfortunately, it happened to be during the summer, which was a bummer for any student who’s out of school and just wants to run around, especially Kris. However, the stitches did not stop Kris from continuing to have fun. Within days of getting stitches, Kris was out on the lake with his friends tying a life jacket around his leg so that he could jump on a tube ride, which is something most of us would probably not consider doing with several stitches in our leg. Whatever the situation or challenge, Kris always had a way of doing the impossible.

The Legacy: Kris died on Oct. 6, 2015 in a motor vehicle collision. Although his life may have been cut short, the impact that Kris had on those he encountered or those who encountered him was not lacking. Kris’ legacy is one to be admired. Kris had a love for others and an energized passion for life. Kris was vivacious. His legacy inspires us to enjoy every moment of life that we have. Kris once said: “Being a Christian doesn’t limit my daily dose of fun.” I think that is something we can all live by. How often do we separate being a Christian and being a person? For Kris, those two things were one and the same. That’s how he lived his life. Although there are no words that could truly do justice to the man that Kris was, we can live the legacy. So, reach out to those around you, look for adventure, take risks, be who you were made to be, laugh, and don’t forget to have some fun along the way.

burden away, but it has given me the strength I need to carry it. This last year has easily been the hardest of my life. But by the grace of God I have been able to find hope. We spend a lot of time trying to figure out our purpose in life, how “we fit in." But friends, we don’t get to be here long. The way Kris lived showed me that we don’t need to have everything figured out to move forward. The good news is that when things go terribly wrong, it’s just a sign that we are not meant for this world. I wake up each day hoping that it will be the day I get to see Kris again. But if that isn’t the good Lord’s plan, then let’s do whatever it takes to pave the way so that He can come and take us home tomorrow. That’s the way my friend lived.

JOSE KARRY Kristopher Dudar was my best friend. It’s not often you meet a truly kindred spirit. Since I lost Kris, I have come to find that friendship can mean a great many things. Friendship can be as simple as someone to talk to, or as complex as someone who can help you navigate the difficulties of life. Kris was someone I could adventure with as well as someone who could simply sit in the same room as me for hours not saying a word-either way we were just as happy. Kris helped me see what friendship can truly be capable of. He showed me life was an adventure and we shouldn’t be afraid to live it. Kris inspired me to be the kind of friend who inspires adventure and happiness in others. Even though Kris is gone, the memories I have of him will never fade. I look forward to seeing Kris again someday, but until then, I will do my best to create joy in the life of others to honor a friendship that brought joy to mine. Kris, you will always be missed.



STEPHANIE GRAHAM Whether we like it or not, we are creating a legacy for ourselves each day. I had the extreme pleasure of working with Kris at Leoni Meadows Cowboy Camp for three summers. Kris is not a man that can be summed up by all the words known to mankind, but I will try nonetheless. Kris taught me not to count my days, but to make each day count. He was a man who lived as if each day was his last. He always had a level head regardless of the situation and was always there to listen if you needed to talk. To say that he had the patience of a saint would be an understatement. He helped teach me how to drive stick, and regardless of how badly I was driving, he was always there with encouragement. I can’t say that I’ve had too many men who I consid-


ered to be big brothers, but Kris was definitely one of them. I always knew he had my back and that he wanted the best for me. He was not a judgmental person, or at least he never made you feel that way. He always had the time to teach you anything you wanted to know about guns, cars, wagons, or just about any kind of machinery. I’ve never met another person who could drive a team of horses or a car better, and I hope I never do. I miss him every day. I don’t understand why it was his time to go. Kris left a legacy that changed my life. He taught me to live each day as if it were my last and to always give hugs because life is uncertain. He taught me to not judge and to take chances. He taught me to stay calm and that random knowledge is awesome. He taught me to not talk too much because it’s better to say less than to be caught with your foot in your mouth. He thought me that life is an adventure, so saddle up, grab your reins, and gallop into the setting sun.

My heart rode low in my chest as we walked out to Cowboy Camp for the first time that summer. I was nervous. “Big boots to fill,” I thought to myself. The same thought crossed my mind many times over in the following weeks. I was one of two new additions to cowboy camp; all the rest were well acquainted veterans. As the days went by, I struggled to live up to the expectations I had imposed upon myself. With each task I would think of him. “How would he do this? Would he think I’m doing a good job?” Each time I felt discouraged and tired and I wanted to give up, he motivated me. My knowledge of his work ethic and his values carried me through the hard days, the days when it was just too hot and the sun was just too bright. He even coached me with patience

Maybe that sounds strange and a bit discombobulated, but not to Brian. His creative mind and love for camp made his quirky, goofy, and inclusive personality light up the stage with any story or antic he had to share. The crowd of kids gathered in the campfire bowl every night would roar with laughter as Brian would dance around the stage during the program’s “Shakes and Wiggles” time or swing from a hanging rope in a gorilla suit. I first met Brian the summer of 2009. I had arrived to camp later than the rest of the staff and was chopping vegetables in the kitchen when he came in wearing an orange and black tye-dye shirt and cargo shorts with a video camera strapped around his neck. This was the Brian we all knew: tye-dye shirt and a camera. Over the next eight summers, Brian and I worked at camp together. We were never really “close” friends, but over the summer, the staff at camp became your family no matter

how different you may be from one another. I have flashes of memories of Brian over the years. There were days off exploring lakes and caves with friends, eating Taco Bell, and Brian ordering an ER 911 from Dutch Bros with me gaping in the driver’s seat wondering how someone could drink that and not have a heart attack. Then there were director’s meetings that would last late into the night as Brian would dream up new ways to do events and schedules. And, of course, there were play rehearsals after play rehearsals filled with laughter and the wisdom Brian brought with him from his film education in Nevada. Brian was the head videographer and campfire director for many of those summers. If you couldn’t hear his voice or see any tye-dye outside, you could find Brian deep in the HQ basement editing videos from the day while wearing huge headphones blasting Metallica or Pink Floyd. Lunchtime softball

when the campers stayed up late into the night and woke at the crack of dawn. On the last day of camp, we made a toast to him. Kris Dudar, our beloved partner and friend who we miss so much, passed through our minds for the millionth time that summer. You see, I really only landed the job at camp because Kris had left it suddenly open after his accident. Even in death, he was a robust role model for me. His memory and his reputation kept me on track through it all. Although I know nobody will ever be able to replace Kris, knowing him helped me to do my part in filling the void he left at camp. His talent, humor, and leadership will continue to serve as a reminder to me that no matter what, as long as I follow in his footsteps, I’ll have big boots to fill.

B rian Robak


“Ooo! Your hair not look!” grunted Brian from above me. “Oh, it’s not so bad, Papa,” I retorted from my crouched position inside an adultsized fuzzy monkey onesie. Mosquitoes hovered above the bright stage lights as I squinted into them, trying to get a good look at Brian, who was dressed in a heavy gorilla suit without the headpiece on. Sweat had begun wetting his hair and dripping down his face. Brian had written a play titled "Camping Now" for the summer of 2015 at Big Lake Youth Camp. The play was about a dad who takes his son camping in the forest and meets two monkeys along the way. It ends with all of them playing Twister together, all the while quoting “Lord of the Rings” the whole way through the script.

games would turn into dance parties as Brian would DJ the music for the games from the corner of the field, often leading those dances himself as the dust and the laughter would rise in the air around him. With every campfire play, every video, every class he taught, Brian would put his whole heart into it so that the people around him would feel valued. Brian often talked about how Big Lake had made him feel included and loved, a place where he belonged. I can still see the tye-dye shirt, baggy cargo shorts, those scrunched hiking socks inside his boots, and the camera around his neck the day he hiked up Mt. Washington that afternoon in June. Brian never returned from his solo hike. As I look through the burned forest towards that mountain, I grasp the feeling of anticipation knowing Brian won’t be there forever, and I find a sliver of peace knowing, for now, he rests in a place he knew he belonged.




ALL GROWN UP vixie bailey Religion Writer


’m not gonna lie, this past week has been tough. Maybe it’s my concussion talking,1 or because it was Valentine’s, the most annoying holiday for singles.2 I’ve spent the past week barely existing. The headache makes me want to curl up and die, but the pain meds make me loopy. While it’s entertaining in retrospect, I shouldn’t go anywhere for my own safety. I’ve basically been acting like a preschooler.3 Because I’ve always been independent, this is one of the biggest trials of my life. When I was four years old,4 I told my parents I was old enough to take care of myself and was

moving out. Of course I came back for pancakes in the morning, but I lived in my playhouse. I was my own person. Now here I am, 16 years later, having people offer to push me in a wheelchair so I don’t fall over and hurt myself.5 Through this concussion, I’m learning the meaning of being a child in Christ. In the book of Mark, Jesus was approached by a group of children. You know the story: the disciples try to keep them away, but Jesus invites them to come to Him. Jesus then says, “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”6 We commonly understand that to mean that we need to be accepting of the gospel, but I would like to propose a slightly different interpretation: We need to be ok with being dependent on Christ. Too often, we are like four-year-

old Vixie: We accept the gospel, but too soon we say, “I got this, God. I’m ready to go by myself, but I’ll come back tomorrow for devotions.” We laugh at a child trying to move out, but it’s somehow ok to only give God an hour to talk to us when we don’t know how to spiritually take care of ourselves. We need to be in constant connection with Christ, or else we are never going to spiritually grow. About three days after four-year-old Vixie moved out, she moved back into her house. I now realize that I need my family more than I often want to admit. I am 20, and I still call my father “Daddy,” and I am not a bit ashamed. He’s going to travel over eight hours to be in the audience when I preach my first sermon. My dad is the one person that I know for sure will always be there. God is the same way. You might

be trying to push Him away and step out on your own, but come back. You’re just a preschooler, and a rather clumsy one at that. Personally, I hope that even when I’m a pastor and “grown up” in Christ, I will still be just as dependent on Him as I was on my dad as a baby. It’s the paradox of the ages, how dependence on God leads to independence from sin, but it works. And that is my kind of freedom.

smoothly so he could see me graduate high school? God only knows. “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die…”1 And for an unknown reason, it was time for Grandpa to go. The time will come when I hope I will be able to see Grandpa in heaven where “there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying, more pain, for the former things have passed away.”2 What more can we say to those who lost a loved one other

than saying that “we have hope?” We have hope that we will see them again. Waiting sucks. But our deceased loved ones will want us to continue living happily. Being without them in our lives sounds impossible. But Jesus promised, “Behold, [I am] coming quickly!”3 Even so, come Lord Jesus.

1 It’s a long story. 2 Ok, so there’s chocolate for half off on the 15th, so it’s not entirely worthless. 3 It has also been suggested that I have been acting either high, drunk, or both, but I wouldn’t actually know, so we are sticking to the preschooler theory. 4 And not just so mentally scrambled that I feel like I’m four . . . 5 Thank you, Joe! 6 Mark 10:15

SEE YOU LATER christina moran Devotional Writer


veryone who knew my grandpa knew that he was an intelligent man. But even with the brains Grandpa was blessed with, moving from the Phillipines to the United States was not an easy feat for my grandparents. They lived in someone’s garage for quite a while. Thankfully, my grandpa was eventually hired as an accountant and moved into a condominium in South San Francisco. After my mother and father settled down in Southern California, my grandparents would often travel down from San Francisco to my home. Even though my grandparents were devout Catholics, they would join us on Saturdays when we went to church. Once, as we waited for the church service to begin, he whispered in my ear, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “I really like helping people. I think I want to be a doctor,” I whispered back. My grandfather smiled. “I will do everything I can do to help you be a doctor before I pass away.” I teared up. “Thanks, Grandpa.” My grandparents would travel back

to their condominium, back into the fog of South San Francisco. My mother would call them up once every week. She would update them on how Dad was doing and on how my older brother and I were doing in school. Then she would pass the phone to my brother so that he would have a chance to talk to our grandpa and grandma. After my brother would be done talking with them, the phone would be passed to me. After talking to Grandma, she would pass the phone to Grandpa. We would talk about the weather, how I was doing in school, what I wanted for Christmas, stuff like that. Then, whenever we would say our farewells over the phone, instead of saying “I love you” and “I love you, too,” at the close of our phone conversation we said something different. He would say, “Grandpa loves T-tin.” And I would say, “T-tin loves Grandpa.” “T-tin” is my family nickname. When my older brother was only three, he would try to say my name, “Christina,” but instead, he would say “T-tin.” The name stuck. “T-tin” became my official family nickname. In my mind, Grandpa would see me walk down the aisle, graduating with an honor diploma from San Gabriel Academy, but he passed away before I graduated. Dealing with a loved one’s death is difficult. Why didn’t Grandpa’s operation go

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a (NKJV) Revelation 21:4 (NKJV) 3 Revelation 22:7 (NKJV)

1 2

WORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Here are some options for worship activities on campus this week: Huebach Morning Worship - Mon-Fri 7:30 a.m. (1 CREDIT) Huebach Worship - Tues 9 p.m. (2 CREDITS) Fireside Worship - Thurs 9:30 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Hispanic Ministries Worship - Mon 7:00 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Hall Worship - Wed 9:30 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Prayer Meetings - Wed 7 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Vespers - Fri 8 p.m. (2 CREDITS)


CREATIVE WRITING This poem is in honor of Madison Jewel Baird My Best Friend and my Angel Dec. 15, 1994–Feb. 11, 2015 Written: Oct. 28, 2016

Molly Verska Contributing Writer

Footsteps of an Angel

Thud. I hear the noise once again Her legs have swung out of bed Feet landing on the hard wood floor Only to be followed by a loud trudge to the door Those were the feet of my dear friend The feet that took us places from beginning to the end Whether it was running, hiking, exploring or dancing The feet were responsible for all things happening Maddy’s feet helped us travel about They helped us flee from the stress when we needed an out Going on adventures was most definitely our thing And more often than not, she would always sing But it’s six in the morning and the feet have hit the floor Only to be followed by a loud trudge to the door Abruptly awakened by this common occurrence I was not fond of the daily disturbance Maddy was up, and away she went Not a moment wasted, making every day well spent The feet were off again, making friends and singing songs If only I had known what was coming all along The feet of Maddy Baird, took her far and wide Letting her do the things she loved, until the day she died Suddenly, there was no noise and no feet It was only heartbreak that I was about to meet Where were the footsteps of my angel, my best friend? There was nothing to be heard and the silence would not end Somehow Maddy’s feet were the only thing unharmed I sat there crying as I held them, so distraught and torn Why they were unharmed, to this day I do not know I will never forget holding them and whispering, “Maddy, please don’t go” But just like always, away Maddy went However, I am forever grateful For the angel I was sent, was nothing but a miracle While every day I wish and long to hear the thud on the floor Followed by the loud trudge over to the door I know those sounds I get to hear no more But the footsteps and light of Maddy Baird will shine forever more


mac ford Creative Writing Editor

This week, we’re featuring some of Maddy Baird’s beautiful written pieces and photos. What strikes me most about Maddy’s writing is her sincerity and her wonder. Her work is uplifting, but it doesn’t feel like a sermon or a “moral of the story.” Her words are clear and true and bell-like, honest through experience and thoughtfulness. Here are several pieces from her blog, Sisters of Simplicity, that I feel really exemplify that.

Lessons from the earth

The earth is rough. I learn to accept that it is. I learn to bend with the rain and with the wind. I learn to stretch myself and realize my weaknesses may one day become my strengths.

The hummingbird

The hummingbird is many times overlooked, because of its small size and flighty spirit. When you go on a hike next time, notice not just the pine trees or your surroundings, but learn to look for detail. Beauty will unfold when you take time to really observe what is around you.

Get girly outside

It was a Saturday and I wanted fresh air and wanted to feel beautiful. Normally, I am always prepared for everything, gotta grab the ten essentials. But, the sun was out and all I wanted to do was feel beautiful. I grabbed my sundress and jumped into my old 1954 Ford and went on a drive. I found a meadow and beautiful hills. Nothing extreme, but just a simple little hike. At the top of the rolling hills with the wind in my hair and a happy heart I realized that every girl should wear a dress and go on a hike. I’m not suggesting that you go unprepared, but there are times women must embrace their femininity. I suggest to all those mountain babes to go step outside in something that makes you feel beautiful.

A home

A structure, a building, a cage. A piece of dirt that outstretches from within the earth; We put a price tag on it. We build upon the land and call it ours The mountains, the valleys, the ground It is more than money can ever offer. It’s not just a structure, it’s our home In the midst of building the world up The earth sits waiting and rejected God’s canvas is put on sale. The world’s beauty sits among the ruins. The rainforests cry out. The ground shakes out of anger Yet, will anyone hear their plea. Let us not forget the beauty of the earth, Do not forget.




MUSICAL MADDY phoebe wilson Contributing Writer


n the 10 years I knew Maddy, our time together was characterized by music. Maddy could make up a catchy ditty, brighten up the room with her voice, and start a dance party in a few minutes. Below are a few special songs that we not only sang together, but that also reflect the beauty she carried: “I Have Confidence” performed by Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music Maddy not only lived this out; on many occasions we also sang it out! On our family sail trip, I remember Maddy leading

the way around the harbor and channelling her inner Maria. All of the docked boats were serenaded that evening by an operatic version of Julie's classic. When I first met Maddy, I was struck by the joyful confidence she exhibited. It came from her relationship with God and loving the way He made her. “Try” by Colbie Caillat Driving back to Big Lake Youth Camp after a day off, we had the windows down and our hair blowing in the wind. Maddy turned on this song and began singing out over the pine tree forest. This song so accurately represents Maddy's compassionate heart for women around


her. She was so quick to see and call out beauty! While she was a camp counselor, her campers blossomed as she spoke truth over them. “Father God” I first heard this worship song when Maddy invited me to join a mission trip to Mexico in 2010. Each morning, we would climb a big boulder to see the sunrise. Often, that time of Bible reading, prayer, and heart talks included worship. Up until that point, I had never met someone my age who was so hungry for more of God, and who loved Him so deeply.

“Rockin' Robin” by Jackson 5 I treasured Maddy's goofiness. During one family vacation, Maddy, Jo, and I climbed up a tree near a well-traveled footpath and began singing out birdthemed songs to those who passed by. This tune became a crowd favorite. Maddy had a special talent of singing loudly so that everyone could share in the joy!



he following interview was held with Marina Avendano, a senior international communications major, who spent a year studying at Villa Aurora in Florence, Italy. What inspired you to spend a year in Italy? What did you expect? What inspired me, was how many countries I could really travel [to while] in Italy, as well as how similar [Italian] is to Spanish. I took a Spanish class my freshman year, so this was a nice middle ground where I’m still familiar with the language structure. I really thought I’d come away knowing more of [the language].

So you didn’t learn as much Italian as you’d hoped? I definitely could speak it a little bit, not as well, but I could read it and understand it a lot better. But the speaking, since it’s a bunch of American students, was harder. Also, there are these two main language instructors—they split the group into two. They felt very much pitted against each other, and so it felt like a competition. An unwanted, “I did not sign up for this” competition. So that wasn’t fun. And really, I felt I learned more just traveling and exploring the town on my own than sitting in the classes. What was the most surprising thing about Villa Aurora? The structure of the school. Culture-wise, I’ve traveled so much that I don’t really get culture shock in places because I know what to expect or what not to expect. But


[in Villa Aurora], there was just such a lack of communication between the professors and the students. They expected us to know something and we were like, “What? Nobody told us.” That was really frustrating. What was an average day like? I was the only one who went with a significant other. I would wake up, get ready for classes, head out, yell David’s name until he woke up, and we would go downstairs together. I never made it for breakfast. Breakfast was at six or seven. Never did that. There would be a grammar class and whatever other classes you signed up for. I signed up for a cooking class and a ceramics class. Everything was in the morning. There were no afternoon classes. One thing with ACA—different schools give you different bonuses for traveling. Florence gave you bus tickets. So we proceeded to get on a bus and go explore Florence. The bus ride was only

about 20 minutes long. If you wanted to walk, it was about an hour. That was pretty much every day. What are the best parts of the ACA program and maybe some points for improvement? [The best part is] just having the opportunity for students to get out there. I don’t think it’s a good language program because it is a bunch of English-speaking students and you put them all together in a dorm room. And yeah, they’re going to speak English. I wish that there was a home-stay program. What would you say to anyone considering studying with ACA next year? If you’re going to learn the language, don’t expect to come away super fluent. If you’re going to travel, it’s a great opportunity.




JOHANNA AND KEVIN angelica chan Fashion Writer

Kevin Ellis What do you do for fun – do you have any unique hobbies or interests? Music. Who or what inspires your style? A YouTuber named Aaron Marino (Alpha M.). He makes weekly lifestyle and style videos and has makeover contests. And Pinterest. How would you describe your sense of style? I’ve been called hipster, but I don’t think that’s right because my style isn’t too out there. I’ve been switching it up too. I don’t have a specific type of shirt I have to wear. I can go from skater to business casual. What are your favorite trends right now? I’m too broke to follow trends, so I stick with stuff that’s classic. I wear a lot of jeans but they don’t have a lot of distressing, so I can wear them anytime, not just when they’re in. If you could raid anyone’s closet, who would it be and why? All of J. Crew. If I could, I would buy everything in there. Where are the items in your outfit from? Almost everything I wear is from Gap, Banana Republic, or Old Navy. Where do you like to shop? J. Crew, but I’m too broke, so I usually go and buy some socks or a tie bar. What fashion advice would you give to other students looking to improve their style? For guys, don’t feel embarrassed to use Pinterest.

Couples Questions: Have you ever matched accidentally? Probably, but I don’t remember. We usually match jackets and shoes. Kevin made a bunch of panda shirts, but they’re definitely only for wearing at home or to Walmart. Have you ever purposely coordinated/matched outfits? What for? For banquets for sure. We kind of have our own styles that compliment each other, so we don’t match a lot. We don’t really plan our outfits.


Johanna Chevrier What do you do for fun – do you have any unique hobbies or interests? I kind of just like hanging out and singing. I like cooking and baking stuff. Basically, just having fun. Who or what inspires your style? I don’t necessarily have a certain celebrity. I have friends who influence my style, like Kristina Kozakova (shoutout!). And Pinterest, of course. I went to a high school with uniforms. All I had to look up to in terms of fashion were Forever 21 ads. How would you describe your sense of style? Cute, but comfy. I like flowy or stretchy things that still look good. It’s definitely still evolving. What are your favorite trends right now? I like yoga pants, and the athleisure trend. I’ve been following Aerie. I love what they stand for. And I love off-the shoulder shirts. If you could raid anyone’s closet, who would it be and why? In another life, Khloe Kardashian. You know Lauren Conrad? Her style is really cute and preppy, and I like that. And of course, Kristina Kozakova. Where are the items in your outfit from? The shirt is from Banana Republic, and the skirt is from Charlotte Russe. Where do you like to shop? I like shopping at Old Navy. I’m a bargain shopper, so I don’t like shopping at expensive stores. Sometimes I’ll go to Forever 21 or JC Penny, but it just depends on what pieces I’m looking for. What fashion advice would you give to other students looking to improve their style? Don’t be afraid to experiment with your outfits. Clothes are what express you. I have a friend who would wear hot pink leggings because it’s Valentine’s Day. I feel comfortable in a blazer. Just wear what you feel confident in. Do you go shopping together? Yeah, if we go to Tri-Cities. We shop together, but separately. We usually get things in our own sections, but then meet and say, “Do you like this?” What do you think of couples who match on a regular basis? That’s a lot of effort. I mean, if they love each other, I guess it’s worth it. I know Kevin only has a selection of pink, so I obviously don’t make him wear it that often. For Valentine’s Day I guess, but not generally.


micah hall Humor Writer


alentine’s Day has passed, but the spirit of St. Valentine still lives in our hearts.1 When you are courting someone,2 you feel like you would do anything for them.3 Because of this feeling, it is important to establish exactly what you are willing to do with your partner so that you don't end up doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. You want to make sure both of you are planning the same future so you don't accidentally get married to the wrong person.4 I have created a quiz that you can go through with your partner to make sure you are on the same page for the future of your relationship. Each check box is one point. Tally up your points at the end to see what your Love Score™ is. Which of these things would you do? (Give yourself one point for each one) • Finish your partner’s cheesecake if there is too much. • Help them learn to drive because they don't have a license. • Give them a relaxing massage from the shoulders up. • Make Christmas cards together and send them to your relatives and friends. • Buy a cat together and name it Earl after the main character in “My Name is Earl.” • Visit your partner’s parents for Christmas. • Get married during school so you can skip CommUnity. • Buy a house together. • Have twins together and name them Emily and Ellis. • Love your twins forever even though they are a lot of work, just like the family in “This is Us.”

Grade yourself: 1-5 points: You two go together like peanut butter and getting divorced young. You should break up immediately. 6-9 points: You are a pretty good couple, but you are not ready for marriage. Continue courting each other until you can complete this quiz with a 10/10. 10 points: You are the perfect couple. There is no need to wait, just go to your nearest pastor and start planning your wedding. If you have only been dating for a couple of months, make sure to have a long engagement so your parents don't get mad.

That spirit is only metaphorical. I want to clarify that I do not recommend worshipping saints or doing yoga for Jesus. I do not date. I only court. This is because I love marriage, purity, and only kissing the person I will marry (plus a couple other people from the internet). 3 Before you go forward, I would like to note that I have a girlfriend named Abby and I am thusly off the market. 4 Abby, if you are reading this, I am not making a marriage test for you, this is a marriage test that works for any relationship. 1 2

Name: Kevin Ellis Year: Super Senior Major: Business

Name: Johanna Chevrier Year: Senior Major: Psychology, with a minor in music




A BABYSITTER’S GRIEF darling su Culture Writer


hen I was thirteen years old, my mom asked me if I was ready to have another baby brother. I said yes without hesitation, but we already had one. Was that not enough? She then explained her best friend was expecting a baby, thus we would not be related by blood, but she told me, “He will still be your little brother.” I was confused, but accepted her statement anyways. Months later, I had my first experience in the wonderful working world, earning

€4 an hour as a babysitter. To those who say “nannying is hardly a real job,” in my opinion, you are full of lies. I spent my teenage years wiping and changing diapers, and as the years passed I was growing close to this little boy. Eventually, I had spent so much time with Gabriel, he started calling me “mommy” right in front of his mom. But then four years later on Christmas Day, my world was shattered by a 23-yearold girl who overcorrected and drove across the median, killing my little brother and my mom’s best friend. With the pain of losing him came pain from being a sibling, even though we weren’t blood related. He wasn't my child. He wasn't my parent. Surely, I wasn't in as much grief as everyone thought.

The baby I spent my summers with, the chubby toddler that played in the dirt all day, my little Batman with a speech impediment and baby green eyes. My four-year-old brother Gabriel was gone. Years later, I discovered his death wasn’t caused by a car accident; he and his mom were violently beaten to death by his alcoholic father. It was not an accident. It took me a long time to stop entertaining the thought that maybe it wasn’t real. The world as I knew it seemed to stop, and the crumbling inside my heart was paralyzing. I couldn’t get through the day. In those grueling, confusing, and lonely moments, I realized that the truth is, you just do. You just live through it.

My biggest surprise in all of this is the wonder of the human brain and my dependence on God. If you wait for that sadness to go away, it won’t. Happiness is an unpredictable thing. One moment it surrounds you, through the air, your mind, your body, your soul, and at the next it has been drained down to its last drop. Our time on this planet is too short and never secure. Whenever my little brother appears in my dreams, I think of him as a baby, I pick him up; I see his smile. I can still hear his giggle.

THE OX & CART Mason Neil Food Writer


alentine’s Day is an excellent excuse to treat yourself and your special someone to a meal that would normally be beyond your budget. For my day, I had the privilege of having dinner with two of my lovely friends at The Ox & Cart, a newer addition to downtown Walla Walla. The restaurant features a thoughtful menu with quality-sourced ingredients that tend to drive up plate prices a bit. Despite budgetary concerns, I used this past Valentine’s as an excuse to get my fancy on. When The Ox & Cart first opened last year, I was intrigued by their location-centric menu that emphasized its dedication to Walla Walla Valley ranches and farms. Our region is rich in agriculture, and it is exciting to see trends in the the food industry acknowledging our wealth of local resources. This isn’t just



a trend in Walla Walla—there is a growing global market for intentional eating that places a stronger focus on what is available locally and what is in season. Eating this way not only increases the quality of ingredients you use, but it also helps minimize your resource consumption as local agriculture requires less energy to transport and preserve.

For my main course at The Ox & Cart, I selected an entrée which featured wild mushrooms seasoned lightly with black truffle oil and sea salt. Everything was cooked to perfection, and I enjoyed the earthy mushroom flavors while wistfully contemplating how I’ve spent another year single and thoroughly fulfilled.

While The Ox & Cart is not something I can do regularly; fine dining makes special occasions such as Valentine’s a little bit more fun. If you’d like to give their offerings a try for yourself, a discounted and abbreviated menu is available through the end of February, which is Walla Walla’s foodie month. They also feature a speakeasy hour daily from 3-6 p.m., which features several appetizer-style dishes at more accessible costs.







PART TWO—CHLORINE GAS jordan brooks Science Writer


ritz Haber changed the world. Born of Jewish descent in Germany in 1868, Haber was raised during a high point of the nation-state’s history and became an ardent German nationalist. Raised in a family of wealth, Haber was afforded an extended education and became a chemist. While working in the University of Karlrushe near the turn of the century, Haber developed the catalytic cycle now known as the HaberBosch process. The Haber-Bosch process has enabled humanity to solve the problem of nitrogen availability for agriculture. The process artificially fixes atmospheric nitrogen into ammonia, which is then used to fertilize soil. Because of Haber’s invention, humanity was able to grow its population to its current numbers and sustain them. Haber was awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for his work in 1918. Haber’s development of this process shows the best side of science: work that developed a new tool and catalyzed better living. Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of Haber’s story. At the start of World War I, Haber’s nationalism flared up and he focused his efforts on supporting Germany militarily. In WWI, the world was in a volatile transition period between old and new war. Old war consisted of “chivalrous” battles between armies in the field with tried-and-true tactics. New war consisted of an all-out battle of whole nations using new technologies (better artillery, machine guns, planes, U-boats) that could slaughter hundreds of thousands of people in a day. Sadly, during WWI the military minds of the world were using old war mentalities, which were not cognizant of long term consequences with winning a battle of such scale with new technologies. When the British Navy began blocking

their trade, including the blocking of nitrates from Chile which were essential to munition development and agriculture, Germany immediately began to benefit from the Haber-Bosch process which makes these nitrates synthetically.1 Haber’s work didn’t stop there though. The need to find a way to help Germany “win” drove Haber back into the lab. He emerged with a new form of chemical warfare known as chlorine gas. Toxic and dense, Haber saw potential in chlorine. It would sink into the trenches of Germany’s enemies and suffocate them. Chlorine gas was first unleashed at the Battle of Ypres in 1915 on soldiers who had never seen such a weapon. The ethereal death must have seemed like a noxious plague from the Bible. A first hand report of chlorine gas seeping into the trenches provides us a view into the horror of such warfare: “Then passive curiosity turned to active torment—a burning sensation in the head, red-hot needles in the lungs, the throat seized as by a strangler. Many fell and died on the spot. The others, gasping, stumbling with faces contorted, hands wildly gesticulating, and uttering hoarse cries of pain, fled madly through the villages and farms and through Ypres itself, carrying panic to the remnants of the civilian population and filling the roads with fugitives of both sexes and all ages.”2 It is reported that around 90,000 people died during WWI suffering the agonizing death inflicted by chlorine gas.3 Sadly, Haber never considered the negative effects of gas warfare on his own people. By 1917, chlorine gas was no longer used because an unpredictable change in the wind could have the gas flooding over Germany’s lines, slaughtering its own soldiers.4 While chlorine was a short lived invention, gas and chemical warfare was only just beginning. In his search for better gas weaponry, Haber next found hydrocyanic acid, which was a common gas used for pest control during that time. Through some tinkering with it, Haber

progressed hydrocyanic acid to Zyklon A, the predecessor to Zyklon B—the “pesticide” used to murder Jews during the Holocaust in death camp gas chambers.5 If only Haber could have known his invention would eventually foster the genocide of his own people. How do we sum up the life of Fritz Haber? He was a Nobel Prize-winning chemist whose work has sustained an exponential population growth but has also directly resulted in horrifically decimating 90,000 soldiers with chlorine gas in WWI and indirectly led to the genocide of the Jews, his own people, in WWII. It is easy for us to critique Haber’s life through the lens of total war and war crimes that we have dealt with through WWI and WWII, but

in the paradigm of war and nationalism in which he existed, perhaps Haber thought he was doing his best. With moral grayness of Haber’s life comes an implicit reminder that perhaps while we are trying to do our best by the standards around us, we could actually be promoting a noxious moral gas that will be looked at in the future with disgust. But how can we tell? 3 4 Szollosi-Janze, Margit. “Pesticides and war: the case of Fritz Haber.” European Review. Vol. 9, No. 1, 97-108. (2001) 5 ibid. 1 2






It’s time to reveal this week’s chosen single people. Come by the ASWWU offices to pick up your gift card or contact Enjoy your sponsored date!






treat yo self

(with dignity and respect) lauren wahlen Backpage Writer


his week’s issue of The Collegian is a lot more serious than usual, and for good reason. This is a really hard time for our campus. Maddy passed away this time of year, and Kristopher would have just turned 22 years old this year, so it only makes sense why a lot of us are having a pretty rough time right now. And of course, grief isn’t the only thing we’re struggling with this quarter; we’ve also got the stress of school1 and this awful weather2 that could make even the fluffiest lil’ penguin feel uncomfortably cold.3 It’s enough to make anyone crawl into their bed and try their very hardest to hibernate4 until Spring Break. I’m going to give you guys a quick lesson on my very favorite aspect of social work: self care.5 So keep reading if you’re wishing you could be as carefree as Obama learning to kite-board. These simple tips may make a big difference in mood, productivity, and focus.6 Sleep: I don’t care if I sound like yer mom: GET YOUR FULL EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP. I know it may be hard to go to sleep when you’ve still got mountains of homework, but you know what’s also hard? Failing. Cuz you slept thru your final. Cuz you were too tired. Cuz you didn’t take my advice. Exercise: I’m not saying to go to the gym every day for an hour (I tried to for a while but I always ended up just laying on the floor, which was a waste of time pride), but even doing a few jumping-jacks7 can get your blood pumping and increase motivation. Just don’t do em at 2 a.m. in your dorm room, unless you want the people living below you to not-so-secretly hate you. Say no: If you’re anything like me, you’d do most anything for anyone. This is good and all, cuz of the whole “do unto others” dealio, but

we should also try to do unto ourselves once in awhile. If we get so burned out by constantly putting others needs above our own, it won’t be long before we start avoiding/resenting those people. Which isn’t fair to them, cuz they might not even know they’re doing it! So next time someone asks for a favor, make sure to stop and think before saying yes and bending over backwards8 for them. Do what you love: I used to think that self-care meant doing all these hobbies that take a lot of talent and/or money. But nope. If you love to paint, all the more power to you. But it can be as simple as watching Netflix, or talking to your mom on the phone. Pay attention to what makes you happy, and let yourself do that. Just make sure not you don’t do only that. I wish we could graduate on happiness alone, but I’m pretty sure they only do that in, IDK, Canada maybe?

In all fairness, my professors did urge me to start all my research papers the very first week. But who does that? I’m not an over-achiever. I’m not even sure I qualify as an achiever. 2 The cold thinks it’s just too legit to quit, apparently. 3 Don’t bother telling me the inaccuracy in this metaphor. I won’t be swayed by sciencey facts. 4 Stupid bears. They don’t know how good they’ve got it. 5 It’s literally the only way I can keep helping meth moms/coke babies/sick kids without wanting to switch careers. 6 You know what also helps all of these things? My bath bombs. This is the last time that I’ll advertise them on here. Promise. 7 Please watch You won’t regret it. 8 How did this phrase come about? How does bending over backwards actually help someone? I have no clue, cuz I’ve never been able to do it. I’m not flexible so I’d probs just break my back.



Last week’s lie: "The Administration building had to be renovated after an arsonist set fire to the top floor."

If you like coffee and/or free things, listen up! The first student to email me at lauren.wahlen@ and let me know which of the below facts is actually a lie gets a free Atlas drink card! And if nobody gets it right, I can keep it for myself. That hasn’t happened yet… but anything is possible if I just believe, right? Right?! The men’s dorm was quarantined in December of 1940, due to a stomach flu epidemic. In 1936, the college experienced an earthquake that registered 5.0 on the Richter Scale. The first Mountain Ash (WWU’s yearbook) was created a year after the first Collegian was published.


VERBATIM “I don’t want it in the hole anymore." —Hugh Daley “It is our custom in this choir to sing.” —Professor Kraig Scott “There are four Hindu Vedas. Some have suggested a fifth: Darth Veda.” —Professor Paul Dybdahl Your verbatim submissions always make me laugh, and someone once told me that laughter is the best medicine so keep them coming cuz I really don’t feel like getting sick again. Merci beaucoup <3 Email me at


Volume 101 Issue 16  

Maddy Baird and the Legacy of Those We Have Lost.

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