Page 1

Cover


2

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


ATTENTION: Self-Help, How-To And Transformational Authors...

Award-Winning Author Christine Kloser

You’re Invited To Join NY Times Bestselling Authors, Publishers, Agents, And Book Marketing Experts As They Guide You To Success ...Absolutely FREE

Tap Into The Wisdom Of An Astonishing Group Of World Class Experts To Help You Write, Publish And Market Your Own Transformational Book Uncover Your Book’s True Purpose And Message... Attain Unstoppable Confidence In Your Writing... “Switch On” Your Focus So Pages Just Pour Out Of You...

FEATURED GUEST: 6-Time NY Times Bestselling Author

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

Christine Kloser Presents the 2013

TRANSFORMATIONAL AUTHOR EXPERIENCE FREE Registration Includes 2 Bonus Recordings

FEATURED GUEST: Best-Selling Publisher LINDA JOY

Lisa Nichols: “Destined for Greatness” and Christine Kloser: “Building A Solid Foundation for Your Book”

THIS YEAR’S SPEAKERS INCLUDE: SARK Marianne Williamson Bill Gladstone Lisa Nichols Marc Allen Reid Tracy Sandy Powell Amy Ahlers Christina Hills Linda Joy Sharla Jacobs Nancy Juetten Susan Harrow Fabienne Fredrickson Noah St. John Linda Sivertsen Ellen Violette

3


4

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


5


CONTENTS On the Cover

Kristine Carlson Kristine shares timeless wisdom and practical ideas to empower women in Living the Big Stuff™ and experiencing true freedom; the freedom to love, the freedom to heal, the freedom to overcome, and the freedom to succeed.

6

APR | MAY 2013 SELF-CARE FOR A WOMAN’S SOUL Wisdom & Self-Growth 16 Selfishness: The Ticket to Getting Out of Energy Debt by Christy Whitman We have to make ourselves the primary beneficiaries of our generosity; the first recipient of our own life-giving energy. We can allow into our lives only as much love and wellbeing as we are capable of giving ourselves. 20 Slow Down on the Inside by Renée Peterson Trudeau Slowing down and doing less are easier said than done, and they require a radical paradigm shift for most of us. Here are five strategies and insights for balanced living.

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

24 Cover Feature: Living the Big StuffTM: Creating Stillness by Kristine Carlson When going through change and transition sometimes you have to break down to break through. Creating space for stillness in your life will allow the wisdom of your heart and your inner healer to come forth. 27 Collecting Joy by Janet Nestor Discover how keeping a Joy Journal can help you become more conscious of your joys, lift your spirit, and helps you maintain a positive outlook. 30 Simply... Empowered! Self-Love, Selfish, Selfless: What is the Answer? by Crystal Andrus When a woman deliberately awakens the incredible force of


CONTENTS Woman EnergyTM within herself, she becomes dignified and enlivened in every area of her life— physically, financially, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. 33 Essential Keys for Establishing Inner Worth and Outer Wealth by Cari L. Murphy What does your inner voice repeatedly tell you about yourself and your potential? It’s time to create a brand new consciousness platform from which you can create and magnetize all the options and opportunities that you wish for. 35 15 Things to Give Up in Order to Be Happy by Luminita D. Saviuc Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier.

“Make a pledge to yourself right now, to declare that you are worth your time and energy.” Deborah Day

38 Colorscope: Self-Care for a Woman’s Soul by Elizabeth Harper Colorscope is a unique system designed to stimulate your intuitive skills. By choosing the color you are most drawn to you actively access the wisdom of your subconscious and the voice of your soul 40 Seven Keys to Living in Courage by Debra Oakland How we handle the curveballs and challenges of life shapes and define us in ways that strengthen or weaken us. Here are seven keys to living in courage to help you navigate through life’s challenges.

Health & Wellness 44 7 Ways to Tune into Your Body by Dr Sara Gottfried Your body comes with built-in systems designed to help you heal, manage and live fully including your hormonal system. Discover 7 powerful ways to tap into your body’s innate intelligence, reverse aging & thrive. 48 Living the Goddess Lifestyle: Exquisite Physical SelfCare by Lisa Marie Rosati Self-care is truly self-love. When women around you witness you feeling and looking fresh and vibrant because of your ritual of exquisite physical self-care … it will silently give them permission to do the same. Viva la Modern Day Goddess.

7


CONTENTS 51 Five-Step System for Clearing Emotional Undercurrent by Lisa Michaels Using the 5 steps Lisa shares you can keep your inner Water— your emotional realm— crystal clear and full of truth. 54 Big Fat Lies about Self-Care: Practical Tips to Break Free of Your Inner Critic by Amy Ahlers The more you recognize your Inner Mean Girl and her Big Fat Lies and tap more into the compassionate truth, the more you’ll increase self-love, self-esteem and self-respect. 56 It Always Comes Back to Self-Care by Jodi Chapman Self-care doesn’t come naturally to many women especially those who have a habit of putting themselves last. The author shares her personal journey of

8

“Loving yourself is the same as loving another person, the energy of love is just pointed in a different direction.” Christine Arylo

learning to love, honor and care for herself and the self-care formula that is helping her to do so. 60 The Wise Woman Way: Food for a Woman’s Soul by Susun Weed Life is a search for nourishment – physically, emotionally and spiritually. As our bodies need specific nutrients so does a woman’s soul. 63 Pen to Paper: Soulful, Loving and Guilt-Free SelfCare through Reflective Journaling by Lynda Monk Soulful self-care is the way in which you care for and nourish the essence of who you are - past what you do, beyond all the roles that define you, it is how

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

you turn inward to know, grow and care for yourself.

Relationships 68 Love is a Choice by Gina Lake Love is so much more than an uncontrollable feeling that comes over us. Real love and love that is sustained is always a choice. 71 Bust Open the Door to More Love, Intimacy & Romance by Kim Sarrasin Is your mindset having a serious impact on your love life? The only way more love, intimacy and romance can come into your life is to make room for it.


9


CONTENTS 74 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship by Margaret M. Paul, Ph.D. Is your relationship healthy? Read through the ten signs to see how your relationship is doing. 76 The Number One Thing to Look for in a Partner by Karen Salmansohn One of the top traits to look for in a partner is an appealingly strong character. That’s why it’s called “finding a soul mate” not “finding an ego mate”! If you’re going to connect soul to soul, you must take the time to see your partner’s soul and feel safe enough to reveal your own soul.

APR | MAY 2013 SELF-CARE FOR A WOMAN’S SOUL

Career | Business 82 Inspired to Write? Write to Feed Your Soul by Lisa Tener A powerful way to nurture your soul is to write in a journal. Here are some ideas to prompt your journal writing. 85 Conscious Business Owners: Is It Time for a Raise? by Monica Shah If you’ve ever struggled with cash flow issues in

LINDA JOY

||

your business, and who hasn’t, Monica shares three powerful ways to increase revenue in your conscious business. 89 Aligning with Universal Laws for Your Highly Conscious Business by Jennifer Longmore There is a divine energy that moves through you AND your business, and when you learn how to activate it, channel it, and accelerate it, particularly in your business, it will create results beyond your wildest imagination.

Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net

Creative & Brand Direction || Rachel dunham | www.HummingbirdCreativeConcepts.com Editorial Layout || Sarah J. Mendes | www.SLJDesign.com Graphic Designer || MANDY PALMER | www.GruveDesign.com COO || Kim Turcotte | www.SoulPurposeBusinessSolutions.com Mailing Address || P.O. Box 1149 | Lakeville, MA 02347 508.265.7929 ADVERTISING || Email Linda@aspiremag.net Mission to inspire info <Click HERE>

10

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


ATTN: Service-Based Business Women

Without Struggle or Frustration!

Today, many women who own passion-driven, servicebased businesses are feeling frustrated. They are struggling to attract a consistent flow of perfect, paying clients.

They donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have clarity! Do You? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT

Just How Much Business Clarity You Have

11


EXPERT COLUMNISTS

12

KRISTINE CARLSON Living the Big Stuff TM

LISA MARIE ROSATI Living the Goddess LifeStyleTM

An unyielding believer of Living the Big StuffTM and not sweating the small stuff in order to experience true happiness in life, as a bestselling author and inspirational speaker Kristine Carlson continues to expand on the phenomenal success of her late husband, Dr. Richard Carlson, beloved author of the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff series. www.KristineCarlson.com www.DontSweatMoms.com

Passionista Lisa Marie Rosati is an Inner Goddess Catalyst for women and the Creatrix of The Goddess Lifestyle Plan. Lisa mentors women on how become a Modern Day Goddess by consciously designing a luscious Goddess life, cultivating radiant health and creating a lucrative business using and directing their feminine fire. www.GoddessLifestylePlan.com

LISA TENER Inspired to Write?

CRYSTAL ANDRUS Simply... Empowered!

An award-winning authority on writing and publishing books, Lisa Tener guides you to joyfully express yourself in writing. She blogs for the Huffington Post, serves on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s publishing course, and teaches her own Award Winning Book Writing Courses in person and by interactive teleseminar. www.LisaTener.com

Crystal Andrus is a leader in the field of self-discovery and personal transformation. From a tough beginning—she has risen to become a best-selling Hay House author, international speaker, women’s health advocate, spokesperson for Haylo Health, and Founder of The SWAT Institute. Crystal’s message is one of resilience, strength and inner power. www.CrystalAndrus.com www.SWATInstitute.com

SUSUN WEED The Wise Woman Way

ELIZABETH HARPER ColorScope

Susun Weed is an internationally renowned herbalist, author, and director of the Wise Woman Center in New York. She is a revered voice of the Wise Woman Tradition, where women’s bodies and women’s emotions are valued. Susun is a founding grandmother of the herbal renaissance and the originator of the concept of complementary medicine. www.SusunWeed.com

Elizabeth Harper is an internationally acclaimed teacher, intuitive, healer, and the author of the award winning book Wishing: How to Fulfill Your Hearts Desires. Elizabeth is on the faculty at the highly acclaimed Omega Institute in Rhineback, NY and is invited to speak around the world. www.SealedwithLove.com

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

Dr Sara Gottfried

Christy Whitman

Cari L. Murphy

Lisa Michaels

Monica ShaH

Kim Sarrasin

Lynda Monk

Debra Oakland

Share

YOUR WISDOM! WITH OUR READERS

Karen Salmansohn

Amy Ahlers

RenĂŠe Peterson Trudeau

Luminita D. Saviuc

Jennifer Longmore

Margaret Paul, Ph. D

Jodi Chapman

Janet Nestor

Gina Lake

CONTACT US TODAY TO LEARN ABOUT OUR AWESOME CONTRIBUTOR OPPORTUNITIES!

13


LETTER EDITOR

FROM THE

“Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated.” Victoria Moran

Welcome! This issue, Self-Care for a Woman’s Soul speaks to me as a woman who has struggled with self-care issues most of my life. In over twenty years of working with and supporting women on various aspects of their journey, I’ve discovered that I’m not alone. Even though a lack of self-care may manifest in a different way for each woman – whether the issue is food, superwoman syndrome, stress or lack of spiritual connection – the ramifications are the same. Throughout the pages of this powerful issue you’ll hear from women like Jodi Chapman. In her article, It Always Comes Back to Self-Care, Jodi shares her own journey and struggle with self-care as well as some tips that have helped her. In her article Exquisite Self-Care, Columnist Lisa Marie Rosati shares a powerful quote which I’ve placed on my mirror as a daily reminder... “Self-Care is truly Self-Love.”

Connect with me! om/ http://www.facebook.c y aJo ind PublisherL

My greatest wish is that you discover the message that your heart needs and your soul longs for, and that it takes you one step (or many) further along the path to living a joyful, inspired and authentic life. Begin today to honor, nourish and appreciate the divine, beautiful and powerful woman that you are.

ajoy

https://twitter.com/lind http://pinterest.com/ lindajoyinspire/

LINDA JOY Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net

Here’s What I’m Reading Right Now...

FROM MY BOOKSHELF 14

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Living with Joy: Keys to Personal Power & Spiritual Transformation by Sanaya Roman (25th Anniversary Edition) In this timeless classic, Orin guides you into the art of selflove, where you can accept yourself as you are right now, release guilt, and open to the love others have for you.


WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH SAVE THE WORLD WITH

Read Online!

Self-Love BY Lynnet McKenzie

“ People who love themselve

come across as very loving, generous and kind; they express their self-confidenc e through humility, forgivene ss and invlusiveness. ”

Sanaya Roman

The Dalai Lama was divinely inspired when he said, “Western women will save the world.” You cannot save the world when you are empty; but when you fill yourself up with the love that you ARE, it radiates out of you effortlessly and transforms the other people and the world around you everywhere you go. Here are three steps to get you started:

1 Choose Every Moment

Love, self-care, and compassion are things we can choose in every moment. Choice is the greatest power we have been given to create the results we want to experience in our lives.

2 Listen to yourself Your body, heart, and spirit are communicating with you in every moment. If you listen to all of the parts of yourself, you will receive all the guidance you need to live in endless love.

3 Rest, Renew, Receive Schedule regular rest into every day. Set aside time to do something that nourishes your senses, like slow, delicious stretching, shaking your bootie to music that moves you, or walking outside and feeling the sun on your face.

Live & Virtual

UPCOMING EVENTS

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

AspireMag.net

TRANSFORMATIONAL AUTHOR EXPERIENCE || DETAILS! Christine Kloser–Marianne Williamson–Linda Joy... INSPIRING WOMEN SUMMIT || DETAILS! DON’T SWEAT the SMALL STUFF for MOMS || DETAILS! Free virtual Event with Host Kristine Carlson & 45 guests

15

s


Selfishness:

The Ticket to Getting Out of

B

Energy Debt By Christy Whitman

efore you write a check, I’m willing to bet that you first take a moment to find out just how much money is available in that account. You do this, of course, because you understand the inevitable consequences that would result if a check were drawn against insufficient funds: the check would bounce, your account would become overdrawn, you would incur unnecessary fees, and – to top it all off – you’d end up inconveniencing the very person you intended to compensate. For these reasons and many more, we learn to consider how much money we currently have before we commit to spending more. With practice, this skill becomes almost entirely automatic – and once it does, we never again have to worry about living beyond our means or going into debt. There is another type of debt, however, that exacts an even steeper toll on our peace of mind as well as our financial abundance, and the really troubling thing about this type of debt is that oftentimes we don’t even recognize it as a liability; we see it as a virtue instead. I call this energy debt,

16

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


Energetic indebtedness is a state of being that is characterized by deficiency of any kind – you know, that feeling we sometimes get when we perceive that there is “not enough” of something we really went. However we experience this deficiency – whether as a lack of time, a lack of resources, a lack of patience or even a lack of sleep – the feeling of lack is one of the first indicators that our energy funds are running low, and unless we take immediate action, our reserves will soon be depleted and our energetic accounts overdrawn. Of course, the action required of us is straightforward enough: we have to make a deposit! What this means is that anytime we become aware that we have slipped into a state of lack… anytime we are allowing outside demands to run us ragged… and anytime we catch ourselves feeling haggard, cranky, or hyper-reactive –

this is a powerful signal that we must redirect the energy we are giving to others and channel it instead back into ourselves. Experiences like this send us a message that should be taken like a commandment from on high: It is time to be selfish. I know, I know. Like me, you were probably raised with the idea that “selfish” is a naughty word and that taking care of your own needs before tending to the needs those around you means that you are egocentric, insensitive, or uncaring. Even the Webster’s dictionary perpetuates this notion, defining the word as “concern for one’s own wellbeing without regard for others.” It is the latter part of this definition – “… without regard for others,” – that I am inviting you to reconsider. On the surface, giving our attention, support, encouragement or any of our other resources to someone else at a time when we ourselves feel depleted may seem like an act of selflessness and generosity. The deeper

truth, however, is that giving something – anything – that we can’t afford creates an energetic debt within us, and as we all know, every debt seeks resolution – even those that are incurred in our relationships. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, we may hold that other person responsible for the energy deficiency we created within ourselves. We may have specific expectations about how that person should go about repaying the energy we have given, or feel disappointed or resentful if those expectations aren’t met. What on the surface looked to be a gift is in reality a loan, because anything “given” from a state of lack

Wisdom & Self-Growth

and I see it all too frequently among conscious, wellintended, high-functioning women like you and me.

“Once we understand that we can allow into our lives only as much love and wellbeing as we are capable of giving ourselves, we begin to see the importance of listening to our bodies, tending to our own needs, and practicing what Cheryl Richardson calls “radical self-care” in a much brighter light.”

17


amplifies the experience of lack, both for the giver and for the recipient. It’s like trying to drink from an empty cup; no one gets nourished. So what would be the difference in the net result if the next time we feel undernourished of energy we selfishly gave some to ourselves rather than feeling obligated to give it to someone else? If instead of ignoring our needs in the moment, only to later discover that we’re needy, we took responsibility for meeting our needs in the first place? What if instead of trying to get water from a well that is already dry, we made it priority number one to fill ourselves up from the inside? The answer is, we would create an entirely different outcome. By examining the Law of Attraction, it’s easy to understand how this is so, and why. The essence of the Law of Attraction – one of seven powerful principles that govern the process of manifestation – can be summed up in three words: Like attracts like. We live in an energetic universe which responds in every moment to the vibration that we are offering. The people, situations and experiences we draw to us are always an exact vibrational match to the frequency that we are sending out. The choices we make, the quality of the care and attention we give ourselves, and the way we really feel about ourselves in the privacy of our own hearts and minds… these things may be unknown even to our closest friends, but they are known to the universe. Bottom line? Our thoughts, feelings and beliefs resonate at a particular frequency, the universe responds to this frequency, and delivers to us external

18

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

experiences that reflect our internal state of being. Some of us use this powerful law to create lack, limitation, disappointment, and struggle. Others use the same power to generate a constant flow of love, prosperity, success, abundance and joy. It is only from a state of fullness that we can truly contribute to another. This means we have to make ourselves the primary beneficiaries of our generosity; the first recipient of our own life-giving energy. Once we understand that we can allow into our lives only as much love and wellbeing as we are capable of giving ourselves, we begin to see the importance of listening to our bodies, tending to our own needs, and practicing what Cheryl Richardson calls “radical self-care” in a much brighter light. The good news is, each one of us is in control of how much we let in. Tending to our needs first puts us back into alignment, first with ourselves, and then with those around us. Selfishness is the way out of energy debt, and the key to true generosity.

Christy Whitman is a New York Times Bestselling Author of Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How To Be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything You Want!), CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Coaching AcademyTM, a 12-month Law of Attraction coaching certification program, and creator of the Enlightened Kid Program. As a certified Law of Attraction coach, her work has been promoted by and featured with best-selling authors like Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neal Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks and Louise Hay. Meet her at www.ChristyWhitman.com and www.7EssentialLaws.com.


Treasure the Gifts of Life and Love... We are so excited to announce the re-launch of our site. Please visit KristineCarlson.com and join our mailing list to receive our newsletters and Free gifts!

19


SLOW DOWN on the Inside By Renée Trudeau

Think slow is for slackers? I used to think so, too. Slowing down and doing less are easier said than done, and they require a radical paradigm shift for most of us. To start, we have to distinguish our inner life from our outward productivity in order to create a lifestyle that sustains us rather than wears us out. When I was thirty years old, I was a public relations director in a very stressful job. I fit the persona of an overachiever, and I loved the strokes that came with overachieving; I was addicted to having a superbusy mind, schedule, and life. I was also exhausted and frankly doubted I could sustain this pace (really, this level of mental activity — or insanity). Over time, my job, relationships, and well-being were all suffering from my speeded-up life. So I began working with a great therapist named Frances — she was really a presence coach. Frances teaches clients how to slow down on the inside so that you can actually be more effective and wise in all areas of your life. For the longest time, I thought, “This will never work for me. She just doesn’t understand my world. How can I slow down and still get things done?” Successfully juggling and anticipating solutions for ten different projects simultaneously was my

20

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


My work with Frances during those years led directly to my work today. It informed the model for balanced living that I teach and try to live by. I have distilled this work into five balanced-living insights: practice “good is good enough,” learn to manage your energy, ask for help, practice self-care, and become comfortable saying no. Integrating these five practices or skills into your life can have a profound impact, and they have helped my clients to reclaim their lives, so they are in the driver’s seat.

Strategies and Insights

for Balanced Living

1

Practice “good is good enough.”

Let go of expectations and the need to please — whether that’s about housework, social events, exercise, volunteering, work, or kids’ activities. This practice isn’t about being lazy or lowering your standards; it’s

about accepting your best effort for a given task as good enough, so you can devote your time and energy to what matters most, in the moment and at your current life stage. Preparing for your son’s fourth birthday party? Invite everyone who matters in his world and serve popcorn and popsicles in the park.

2

Learn to manage your energy.

When you evaluate the tasks or activities before you, see them in terms of energy, not time. These are not the same, and learning to manage our energy is more important. Some people, situations, and things take more mental and emotional energy than others — such as lunch with a friend who just lost her mom — and we need to allow for this. We can first ask: What today (or in my life) is most important to me? What drains me? What fuels me? What do I need to release? This helps us set our priorities and direct our energy more purposefully and effectively.

3

Ask for help.

This is a biggie, and it can be life changing for those of us who are predisposed to go it alone. But we’re all interconnected, and miracles can happen when we allow support into our lives and learn to delegate. Asking for support might mean tapping a potential mentor for advice or asking your kids to help prepare dinner. Sometimes it’s help for an actual task, and at other times it may be emotional support as you weather a crisis or challenge. Asking for support can make all the difference in how you experience your journey.

21

Wisdom & Self-Growth

hallmark! Slowly I integrated her coaching into my life, and I began to understand the connection between my inner state of being and how I see and respond to my outer world. As I cultivated more awareness for my inner world, it had a huge impact: I lived more in the present, slowed down my thinking, decreased anxiety, and improved my mood in large part by creating more space between my thoughts and my reactions. From stillness also came discernment: I began to see what really mattered to me, and my life purpose and path became clear.


4

Practice self-care.

Don’t forget to add your own needs to your daily and weekly to-do lists. Ask: What do I need right now to support my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual wellbeing? Then, tune in, listen, and respond. Often, the kindest form of self-care is not overcommitting and overscheduling. Release self-criticism or judgment that you aren’t doing enough, whether that’s keeping the house clean or starting a new project at work; this is an essential way to nurture and be more kind to ourselves.

5

Become comfortable saying no.

Are you comfortable saying no and not overcommitting? Saying no — to volunteer requests, extracurricular activities, an extra work project, unnecessary travel or trips — is one way we set limits and maintain boundaries. We will need to say no many times in our lives. However, most people find that the more they say no to things that are draining them or pulling them into overwork or overwhelm, the more space they have to say yes to those things that really matter — like reconnecting with your partner or dedicating time to getting your financial house in order. Also, saying no gracefully is a learned skill and it takes practice; there are many ways to do so. For instance, simple is often best; don’t trot out a list of excuses. Either decline directly and politely (“No, thanks, I’ll have to pass on that”) or keep the reason simple (“My time is already committed”). You can also say yes in a limited way (“I can’t do that,

22

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

but I could do this…”) or even ask for more time to decide (“Can I get back to you?”). If you’re worried the other person will take the answer no as a personal rejection, clarify what you’re declining (“I’d love to see you, but this day won’t work for me”). Renée Peterson Trudeau is an internationally recognized life balance teacher and speaker. Raised by spiritual seekers, Renée is the oldest of seven Montessori-inspired children. Growing up in Northern California, she attended a yoga school based on the teachings of Parmahansa Yogananada, rode horses bareback and hiked in the vast wilderness of the Sierra Nevada, and learned stained-glass window making and philosophy from the Bhagavad Gita. President of Career Strategists, she has been featured in the New York Times, US News & World Report, Good Housekeeping, and more. She is the author of the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-balance Your Life. Thousands of women in ten countries are participating in Personal Renewal Groups based on the Guide. Renée is on the faculty of Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and Esalen Institute, and she speaks and leads life balance workshops/retreats for Fortune 500 companies, conferences, and organizations worldwide. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and son. www. ReneeTrudeau.com

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”

Eddie Cantor


23


LIVING the

Big Stuff !

TM

Creating S tillness BY Kristine Carlson

I

n my first column I talked about the first two steps of “Living the Big Stuff: Moving through change and transition with resilience and grace.” This is a path to help you accept “what is” and integrate what may feel impossible to you right now. You may not be in the happiest segment of your life story, but you will

24

soon realize that there is a beginning in every ending. It is in this beginning when these two steps are essential. Step one: Find

your inner courage. Step two: Become the victor. As you

step into life and into this process of transformation, you will be on your way back to a life of joy.

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Step three: Creating your “stillness” space You live a busy life and then, bam! You are stopped short with the rug pulled out from under your feet. For whatever reason your life is changing and you are in transition; the end game is not about focusing on


A coaching client of mine unconsciously decided that she would skip the metamorphosis stage and soon found herself in complete chaos. She came to me after she lost her father. He was 80, and he had been living with her when he transitioned. The first time I met with her she was all smiles as she said, “I’m ready to launch into my life.” I queried her a bit further, “Are you sure this is the time to be setting the stage for your next big dream?” She said, “I feel good about my dad. He had a good life. I feel really good about spending this last year with him.” I nodded and thought to myself, It hasn’t hit her yet, but it will. Despite my recommendation that she create stillness and white space in her schedule, she busied herself staying

in denial. Six months later she asked why it felt like she is in a washing machine of chaos and why dreaming about her future gave her anxiety. She said it felt all wrong because she was so sad. I said, “You’ve finally seceded. Welcome to transformation. It’s a little messy for a while but everything settles down when you do. Are you ready to create space in your life to be still so that you can feel and heal?” Sometimes you have to break down to break through. There is safety in stillness. This cocoon space that you create in your life will allow the wisdom of your heart and your innate healer to come forth. As your presence grows you will hear the wisdom and well-defined healing instructions of your soul. Without creating the stillness space in your life, it’s far more difficult to tune in. What is required of you now is finding time to unplug and have quiet; this will allow you to hear your heart whisper. You know what’s right for you.

To help you begin this transition, answer these five questions to start creating your stillness space:

1

How can you alter your schedule to have more down time that’s not busy and social?

2

How much rest are you allowing yourself? Do you sleep when you are tired? Can you allow yourself more rest?

25

Wisdom & Self-Growth

“why this happened to me.” What you really want is to discover what’s next in your life, or “what’s in store for me?” But first there is a distance you must travel to integrate and reconcile what has happened to your life. Unfortunately, as much as you’d like to, you can’t wish yourself to the next phase. For a time you must go through a metamorphosis; you have to be a Chrysalis and create your stillness space for transition. The Chrysalis is a bunch of messy goop changing form and even eating itself in its well-designed and protective container of the cocoon. (I know that doesn’t sound very encouraging but remember you are in metamorphosis, and in the right time you will emerge as the butterfly.) If you skip this transition, this will postpone arriving at the next stage - the stage you desire to live in.


3

Can you go to bed earlier so you can wake up in time to include a half-hour morning inspirational ritual that includes meditation and journaling?

4

Can you make a list of the ways you distract yourself? Now, replace those things with actual real time dates in your schedule by spending time in nature, listening to music, grooming a pet, doing yoga, meditating, hiking, dancing and journaling. (You will come up with your own special “me” time.)

5

Can you prioritize a quieter more innerdirected life for a period of time? If someone promised you that if you take some time to create the space in your life for stillness that you’d be in and through transition to acceptance sooner than if you

filled that time with busy chaos - would you do it? If someone promised you to be still in order to empty and hollow out from the inside to awaken and become present in your soul’s calling - would you give yourself time? If someone promised you that at end of this short period of time you will be on track for your next best life - would you risk saying “No” to a few things for a little while and create the stillness space to have that kind of clarity? Always remember that it is not about the change itself, it is about what we do during the transition that defines the outcomes. An unyielding believer of Living the Big StuffTM and not sweating the small stuff in order to experience true happiness in life, as a bestselling author and inspirational speaker Kristine Carlson continues to expand on the phenomenal success of her late husband, Dr. Richard Carlson, beloved author of the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff series. Learn more at www.KristineCarlson.com and be sure to download your Free Mom’s C.P.R. Kit at

e present h t t a h t ly p ee “ Realize d ave. Make h u o y ll a moment is y focus of r a im r p e h the NOW t your life.” Deepak

26

Chopra

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

www.DontSweatMoms.com


Wisdom & Self-Growth

Collecting

joy by Janet Nestor

“Find out where joy resides and give it voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss it all.” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

W

e go through our days, busy and rather unaware of little more than the essentials of life. We run our errands, care for our family, and go to and from work seldom embracing the wonderful moments that occur. Keeping a Joy Journal helps us become more conscious of our joys, lifts our spirit, and helps us maintain a positive outlook. Years ago a local artist friend was making Joy Journals to sell on her website. I bought one and made an agreement with myself to write in it every day. I followed

through, and my Joy Journal proved to be an inspirational adventure. I’d always delighted in positive moments and special occasions, but the joys were not registering with me in a profound way. I was not “collecting” my joyous experiences, nor was I fully embracing and owning them. I was too involved in my have to do list and my challenges, and I was collecting the weight of the challenges. My Joy Journal opened my eyes. I noticed most of the positive things that happened throughout my day. My radar was now

27


meaning and impact. You realize you have a treasure, your life is the treasure, and your Joy Journal is a love gift to self. You are Collecting Joy!

honed in on the small joys, and I was noticing some big, important things I would have missed earlier. As my joyful experiences began to register at a deep soul level, I intentionally began to allow joy to change me, healing unknown wounds, unleashing the natural joy within. I began to interact with myself and the world in a much more positive way. For the first time in my life I was collecting joy and creating a history of joyful moments. I began recommending Joy Journals to my clients, especially those who were carrying the weight of world on their shoulders. Those responsive to the idea began having uplifting results and enjoyed

28

noticing and recording their positive experiences. Because of their journals many awakened to the joys of daily life, and awakened to the ever-present joy within. Moods began to change from depressed to hopeful. Worry decreased and bodies that were tense became more open and relaxed. Smiles were more frequent and eyes sparkled. Sitting down with your Joy Journal filled with a month of positive entries is an extremely inspirational experience. It is awesome when you see and read thirty pages filled with the positive moments of your life. Every positive thought is expressed in your own words and carries profound

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Just to illustrate what a Joy Journal might include, here is a list of entries that are similar to what I might write in my journal, and entries similar to those that others have shared with me over the years.

• My grouchy neighbor waved and smiled at me this morning. I smiled and waved back. Wow! Happy! • I watched the sun come up this morning; watched a dark sky become peach colored along the horizon. Something wonderful happened deep inside me as I watched the day begin. • My butterfly bush is filled with blooms. I watched the butterflies come and go for about 15 minutes. Magnificent! Heart feels light and


happy. A butterfly meditation!

• I watched a baby squirrel nap on the limb of the tree beside my deck. He stretched out, wrapped his front paws around the branch, closed his eyes and dozed off. So cute! I realized that a baby is a baby human, squirrel, puppy … babies are precious. • My brother called me today. So grateful. We have each other again after years of not speaking. I wrote down what he said so I don’t forget any of it, and then I cried tears of joy for a long, long time. Exhausted, but I feel reborn!

3.

Write with a pen so you entry does not smudge or fade.

4.

Date each entry so you don’t forget dates and times. Remember to mention anyone who was with you at the time of the joyful event. Over time this increases your awareness.

5. Stay positive. 6. Make your journal as fancy as you want:

add doodles, souvenirs or photographs if you want.

7.

After 30 days have passed, sit down and enjoy reading about your entries, making the day to day joys a part of your mind, body and soul.

Janet Nestor is an author, speaker, and a holistically minded licensed professional counselor with a diplomat in energy psychology. She specializes in working with individuals and groups, teaching and empowering participants to find their life path and their joy. An expert in stress and anxiety management, Janet has written two books on the subject. Her first book,

Here are the easy to follow directions for keeping your Joy Journal.

1. Choose a journal that can fit into your

purse, briefcase, or pocket. Make sure it is made of material that will stay fresh and nice.

Pathways to Wholeness, is a mindfulness guidebook empowering readers to adopt a more relaxed, now focused and joy-filled life. She recently released Nurturing Wellness through Radical SelfCare: A Living in Balance Guide and Workbook. Like Jon Kabat-Zinn’s books on mindfulness-based stress reduction, this inspirational guide will be your constant companion on the journey to lasting wellness. Learn more at www.mindfulpathways.com.

29

Wisdom & Self-Growth

• While at the grocery store, this adorable child grabbed hold of my hand as I walked by and would not let go. I stood still a minute while she talked to me from her perch in her mother’s grocery cart. She stole my heart. Her eyes were filled with life, love and joy, all of which she shared freely. Through the eyes of a child … those words make me think.

2.

Keep your entries short and sweet - a few words, a sentence or two, a paragraph at the most.


SIMPLY

Empowered!

Self-Love,

SELFISH, SELFLESS:

What is the Answer? BY Crystal Andrus

N

ever before in history (her-story) have women had empowered, independent, lighthearted, strong, authentic, liberated, beautiful, and confident role models . . . until now. Since the beginning of time, women have had two main personas to navigate in the world: Mother Energy™ — the selfless, responsible, caring, giving, doing, protective essence of woman, and Daughter Energy™ — the helpless, coy, cute, dramatic, and demanding embodiment. Although these two archetypes have nothing to do with having children or being young (you can be 20 years-old and childless dripping in

30

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Mother Energy™ or be 65 with four children and ten grandchildren and be in Daughter Energy™), they have been the primary ways for women to act and react.


pleasing to excessively needy, and from excessively sexy to excessively shy. She can be coy, dramatic, self-sabotaging, overtly sexy, troublemaking, and/or angry. She is the “dependent” part of addictions. Extreme examples of this are women such as Marilyn Monroe, Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Love, Paris Hilton, Whitney Houston, and Amy Winehouse.

When a woman deliberately awakens this incredible force within herself, she becomes dignified and enlivened in every area of her life—physically, financially, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. She knows who she is. She knows where she’s going. And everyone around her feels it, too. She exudes “a presence” the minute she walks into a room. She teaches people how to treat her by the way she treats herself.

Mother Energy™ represents the complete opposite of Daughter Energy™. The

Energy™!

Although all women embody all three archetypes at times in their lives and with different people, most women have a “Dominant Energy” that influences the choices they make. Here is an overview of these three dominant energies:

Daughter

Energy™

is self-absorbed, reactive energy. It’s what drives grown, capable women to act helpless, irresponsible, demanding, afraid, selfish, manipulative, and/or needy. Overwhelmed with her own feelings and fears, worried that her needs will never be met, a woman in Daughter Energy™ knows she deserves more but can’t figure out how to achieve it. So she deploys a variety of ways to get what she wants from being excessively fearful to excessively aggressive, from excessively

consummate giver, doer, fixer, rescuer, and savior—she always knows what’s best for everyone and will do whatever she can to help. The trouble is, she doesn’t help herself. She doesn’t know what she, herself, even wants or needs. Disconnected, she lives from the neck up—almost numb to her own body. Instead she devotes her life to being a “good woman”. She is the “co-dependent” part of addictions—the caretaker or enabler. Famous examples of women resonating in Mother Energy™ are much harder to come up with because she is the selfless wind beneath everyone else’s wings. These are a few of the more obvious: The Queen of England, Mother Teresa, Margaret Thatcher, Alida Margaretha Bosshardt (the leader of the Salvation Army in the Netherlands), and Rose Kennedy. Yet, inside every woman is an energy of pure magnificence: Woman Energy™. It is an emotional sense of being that is incredibly empowered, loving, light, joyous, confident, humble, independent, playful, open, receiving, allowing, intuitive, sexy, strong, determined, and capable. When we step fully into this place, we become

31

Wisdom & Self-Growth

And while both of these energies have served women to a certain degree, we have reached a pivotal time, where things must change (and not by women doing more, giving more, needing more, or wishing for more). We must transcend these two personas to access a third, far more potent expression of ourselves — Woman


authentic and powerful beyond measure. Embracing Woman Energy™ isn’t difficult. It’s an innate knowledge we all naturally possess yet most of us have forgotten or buried. Instead, we naively believe our power is something we find outside of ourselves—in a man, career, body type, dress size, church pew, or bank account balance. It’s not. Think of women such as Oprah Winfrey, Katherine Hepburn, Tina Turner, Jane Fonda, Gloria Steinem, Goldie Hawn, and Beyoncé, just to name a few. So imagine who you could be if you learned how to let go of the drama and dysfunction of Daughter Energy™ and/or the guilt and exhaustion of Mother Energy™, and operate strictly from the most empowered and authentic aspect of yourself: Woman

Energy™?

Imagine if you:

Parented from courage, willingness, wisdom, acceptance, and love (and sometimes that meant “tough love”). How that would change the direction of your child’s life; and how much more peace would you have.

Practiced self-love, self-care, and selfnourishment with your physical health and diet. You would look and feel amazing.

No longer viewed yourself as a caretaker, cook, or cleaning lady, and instead felt like an equal partner, passionate lover, and financially independent woman.

• Invested the same amount of energy into building your own dreams, passions, and purpose as you spent on building someone else’s.

32

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Today, I encourage you to have an honest look at yourself and the choices you’re making—the “energy” you’re resonating in; and to question if, perhaps, you are worth more than you’ve been living? The decision is yours. You choose how you will think, feel, act, and react. A great start is to make a checklist of the qualities you believe Woman Energy™ exudes, and then ask yourself throughout the day as you find yourself in different situations, “What would a Woman do?” Then, do it! To discover what your Dominant Energy is visit: www.swatinstitute.com/dominant_ energy Crystal Andrus is a bestselling author, international speaker, women’s advocate, host of “The Crystal Andrus Show” on CBS Radio, and Founder of “The S.W.A.T. Institute (Simply Woman Accredited Trainer)” ~ the world’s #1 online Personal Empowerment Certification Coaching School, exclusively for women. She can be reached at www.crystalandrus.com or www.swatinstitute.com.

“Listen to your inner

voice... for it is a deep and power ful source of wisdom, beauty and truth, ever flowing through you... Learn to trust it...” Caroline Joy Ada ms


Essential Keys

Wisdom & Self-Growth

for Establishing INNER WORTH and OUTER WEALTH By Cari L. Murphy

Identify the Barriers to Your Success

What does your inner voice repeatedly tell you about yourself and your potential? What people, places or belief systems shrink your value or prevent you from going after your dreams? Get really clear about the roadblocks that you have either subconsciously created in your daily life or allowed yourself to set up and experience. This awareness will serve as the bouncing off point for you to generate new, empowering habits, patterns and ways of being.

Consistently Review your Accomplishments

Regularly examine what’s happening in your reality. What’s going well? What’s working? What are your strengths? How have you used them in a way that benefits you and everyone around you? Begin to celebrate the genius that you are! The more you recognize and acknowledge the gifts that you bring to yourself, your loved ones, and the world, the more confidence you will gain and the greater success you will experience.

Highlight your Repeating Patterns

It may not be the easiest thing in the world to do, but it’s one of the most rewarding! Begin to notice all the way that you sabotage your happiness by repeating certain behavior patterns, certain ways of reacting to people and situations, or by maintaining a disempowering vocabulary that keeps you stuck in your tracks! Ask your higher self to reveal these patterns to you in an obvious way, and then pay attention. Once they have been highlighted, you hold the power to create a change. Only you can make the shift.

Release the Heavy Burdens in Your Life

So often we carry the lingering burdens of other people, unresolved situations, fears, insecurities and doubts within our energy field. This density prevents us from feeling, attracting or experiencing the joy and the healing that is our soul’s birthright. Begin to notice the heaviness within you. Isolate where it’s coming from. Then, make a commitment to releasing it. Bit by bit you can

33


visualize the burdens being flushed out of your body, your mind and your spirit making room for the love you deserve.

Disconnect from Non-Beneficial Information and Beliefs

In order for you to create the internal and external space for success in your life, you must disconnect from anything that is holding you back from being the bold, courageous, fearless individual you are intended to be! What beliefs from your childhood have you outgrown? What ancestral or societal information or ways of being are holding you back from expressing and honoring your authentic power? You don’t have to hold onto anything that no longer supports you, that no longer honors your freedom, or that prevents you expressing your passion and brilliance. Now is the time to disconnect from anything that no longer serves you to create space for all that does.

Learn and Integrate the Soul Lessons

After applying these tools and practices, you will gain a brand new awareness about yourself and your life. Once you’ve gained clarity on what is not working in your life, and you’ve released and disconnected from it, ask for the lessons! Go within and ask for the lessons. Do this with a deep sense of compassion, non-judgment and neutrality so that you can identify the lessons you were intended to gain from your challenges. Once you become aware of them, consciously choose to integrate them so that you won’t have to experience them again!

Clarify What you Wish to Experience

Following the disconnection and release from all that’s holding you back, coupled with the integration of the soul lessons available to you from your experiences, it’s important to determine what you wish to create. From this open and clear space, what is it that you truly want? What would make your heart sing? What would truly fulfill you from the inside-out? Why do you want it? What would it bring you?

Re-Design Your Reality

Now that you’ve determined what you wish to create, it’s time to begin acting as your very own architect! Be the artist you are intended to be and see your life as a blank canvas. Design what you would like to experience with clarity and deep feeling. Build it within first. Create a brand new consciousness platform from which you can create and magnetize all the options and opportunities that you wish for. Then, press the internal re-load and re-fresh button and launch it into existence! Poof! Your masterpiece is created. As a Soul Success Coach, Business Coach and Empowerment Mentor coaching tens of thousands worldwide, Award-Winning Author of 5 books, including the Best-Seller: Create Change Now, Celebrated Media Personality, and Founder and CEO of Empowerment Coaching Solutions, Cari Murphy is on a mission to inspire and awaken millions globally. Following a near death experience in 1997, Cari’s purpose became clear. She is dedicated to helping conscious entrepreneurs and success seekers build their businesses and experience spiritual expansion, souldriven success, and purposeful living through her consistently inspirational messages of individual empowerment. Learn more at www.CariMurphy.com

34

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


You should

GIVE UP In Order To Be

Happy

BY Luminita D. Saviuc

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you

Wisdom & Self-Growth

15 THINGS


meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating

7. Give up the luxury of criticism Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

9. Give up your resistance to

self-talk

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

36

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer


11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up LIVING your life to other people’s Expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

14. Give up atachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach

Luminita Daniela Saviuc – also known as the Purpose Fairy – is an enthusiastic student of art, economics, psychology and spirituality. She is also a writer, blogger, photographer, the creative lead of product development at Mindvalley, soul sculptor and a lover of life. www.PurposeFairy.com

37


by Elizabeth Harper

Set an Intention to receive inspiration from your Soul. Close your eyes and take a deep breath into the center of your being. When you are ready, open your eyes, select a color and open your heart to the message from your Soul.

Self-Care for a Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Soul Blue

Archangel Michael, guide me in my career so that I manifest success and abundance for my highest and greatest good. Protect my energy, and help me to put judgment aside as I support those in need of my assistance.

Green

Archangel Raphael, wrap your wings around me so that I might heal on every level of my being. Give me the strength to let go of any everything that no longer serves me. Help me to open my heart so that I can connect with my soul group.

Brown

Archangel Haniel, give me the strength to let go of control and to go with the flow of the Divine Will. Guide me to share my needs with those I intuitively feel can support me. Ground me so that I can gain practical insights into my current life path.

38

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Magenta

Archangel Metatron, help me to easily and effortlessly move on with my life. Guide me to acknowledge, accept, and embrace my gifts. Give me the confidence to share my gifts with those who can most benefit.


Olive

Orange

Archangel Jeremiel, give me the courage to reveal my true feelings and openly share my emotions with others. Help them to accept me for who I am and not who they think I am, and give me the strength to stand true to my most authentic self.

Yellow

Archangel Jophiel, help me to appreciate all the blessings I have in my life. To appreciate myself, to see, feel, sense, and know my inner and outer beauty, and to say and think only positive affirmations about myself, and others.

Archangel Gabriel, energize my business ventures with your grace and ingenuity. Boost my creative mind and guide my hands as I work to manifest spirit in physical form. Help me to connect with the right audience and support me as I expand my reach.

Turquoise

Archangel Sandalphon, inspire me with your creative light, fill my thoughts and feelings with unique ideas and creative vision. Guide me to meet those who will support my creativity and share my vision for the future of my work.

Violet

Archangel Zadkiel, support my healing gifts. Create the opportunities for me to share my energy work with others. Help me to bring hope to the sick and comfort to those in pain. Give me the power to help a grieving soul with the right words.

Pink

Archangel Chamuel, help me to have faith that when I share my heart with others it will be accepted and appreciated with lovingkindness. Help me to open my heart with compassion, and support me as I put my trust in your capable hands.

Red

Archangel Uriel, guide me to let go of any un-forgiveness I may have for myself, and others that is blocking my path to the light. Help me gain clarity in the areas of my life where I have lacked vision, and support me as I manifest an abundance of blessings for my next step.

Elizabeth Harper is an internationally acclaimed teacher, intuitive, healer, and the author of the award winning book Wishing: How to Fulfill Your Hearts Desires. Elizabeth is on the faculty at the highly acclaimed Omega Institute in Rhineback, NY and is invited to speak around the world. www.SealedwithLove.com

39

Wisdom & Self-Growth

Archangel Raguel, bring harmony into my relationships, both with myself and others. Support me as I take on the role of mediator for those in need of healing. As I step into the limelight give me the wisdom to share by example so that I might teach others to do as I do.

White


Seven Keys to Living in

Courage By Debra Oakland

“Courage is required, down to the very fiber of our existence. Use your will, desire and persistence to develop the qualities you need to materialize your dreams, whether they are mental, physical, or spiritual.” – Debra Oakland

H

as life ever thrown you a curve-ball? Of course it has! We all have challenges to overcome at some point in our life, yet how we handle them shapes and define us in ways that strengthen

40

or weaken us. When we choose to grow and become strengthened by our challenges, it becomes easier to transform every area of our life into joy. I call that living in courage!

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Being a Courage Advocate is most meaningful to me on my particular journey. Over a 6 year period, I lost my 21 year old son, my unborn baby girl in the 8th month of pregnancy, both brothers to AIDS, and my father to prostate cancer. The loss of other family and friends occurred during this time as well. When I finally had time to breathe after facing so much loss I asked myself what each of them would have wanted for me. I knew deep in my heart the answer was to live a life of courage, to encourage


I remind myself that living from the inside out, as well as living in courage is the best way forward. My personal freedom is of utmost importance to me, and that freedom means living my best life courageously from a place of love, wisdom and joy. Courage holds a personal meaning for each of us. For me personally, courage is constancy under the most trying of circumstances and action at the moment when it is needed most. Work with the principles of life that are your true nature. Love is life and life is love. Play the game of life to win. Courageously maneuver yourself into a power position that is heart based. As you become an expert at playing the game of life, become a messenger, a teacher to others. When you bring people into your game, they will learn that no one needs to lose, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just all about love. That is one of the purposes of the game. You will be able to provide your fellow players with insight and encouragement. They will receive invaluable wisdom into how to play the game of life, where everyone wins through the power of love. Inspire greatness in yourself, share it, and people will pass it on.

Seven Keys to Living in Courage 1

Use your Courage Toolbox.

When you need extra courage look around for something in your courage toolbox that will fit the situation just right. Challenges help you develop some great courage skills. Your basic living in courage toolbox contains love, strength, integrity, honor, wisdom, kindness, compassion, forgiveness and a determination to take the high road fearlessly. Each toolbox is uniquely personal and sacred to each individual. Add the qualities that work best for you.

2

Live and love yourself from the inside out versus the outside in.

Your inner world is infinitely more powerful than the outer world.

3

Step out of your comfort zone.

Be authentic and fearless of opinion because if you arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t going to be you, who is? Wear your own hat, it fits perfectly!

4

Be responsible for your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Keep harmlessness to self and others in mind.

41

Wisdom & Self-Growth

others, and to be happy. I have to say I have became a better person for knowing them and a stronger more courageous person in their absence. I choose to love and honor each of my loved ones who have passed and will continue to carry them in my heart as a precious gift.


5

embracing it regardless of other people’s opinions?

Step into uplifting support, non judgement, encouragement, positivity and joy.

• Am I surrounded by a strong support system of family and friends? How can I become a living example of inspiration and encouragement to myself and those I love?

Walk away from the blame game, criticism, judgement and gossip.

6

Have the courage to reach out to others when you need a boost up, especially if you are grieving.

7

Celebrate your successes because YOU deserve it.

Above all feel gratitude for everything in your life and all that has yet to come into your life. Remember, you created it all!

• How can I experience more love and joy in myself which allows my wings to fly anywhere I want them to take me? Dig deep. Take time for quiet moments making sure to listen to your heart. Every answer is there waiting just for you.

Debra Oakland is a Courage Advocate, Writer & Joyful Experiencer. Visit her at Living in Courage Online - A Spiritual Oasis for Overcoming

ASK YOURSELF SOME QUESTIONS

Life’s Biggest Challenges at www.livingincourageonline.com. You find links to her FREE e- book, monthly newsletter and articles on Living in Courage. Watch for exciting news of Debra’s upcoming book.

• What am I afraid of and why? How do I deny myself? Do I play the victim? Am I able to forgive myself and others? • Am I self sabotaging by my thoughts, feelings and actions? Is this a mental, physical or spiritual issue? Do I catch myself when being negative, replacing those thoughts and feelings with something positive. • Am I allowing myself to repeat old worn out patterns of behavior that do not serve me anymore? What are my priorities in life and am I placing them first without distractions? What is my creative passion and am I

42

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

“One of the most cour

ageous things you can do is iden tify yourself, know who yo u are, what you believe in, and whe re you want to go.” Sheila Murray Bethel


HEALTH & WELLNESS

“Know your body,

understand your mind & embrace your spiritual path.” Read Online!

3 Instant

Kathy Freston

Frequency Boosters By Julia Rogers-Hamrick

When you’re feeling “low,” or out of the flow, it’s a sign that you need to raise your frequency. There are infinite ways you can lift yourself up—pretty much anything that makes you feel better is a frequency booster. The higher your frequency, the better and more joyful you feel! The most effective frequency boosters are the ones that quickly align you with your divine design and purpose, and bring you into synch with the natural world. Here are three of the 10 frequency boosters that Julia shares in her online article. d instead of 1 Go out in nature an ate and expecting nature to rejuven nsmit your nurture you, consciously tra ture. Zap! Up love and appreciation to na in frequency you go!

l for aningfu e m g n methi t putting 2 Do so tranger withou they s or not a total whether n o hout ts n e urse, wit are judgm o c f o d n it, a n you deserve ard. Whe ou are w e r f o n o ,y expectati blessings ncy e in iv d r fo ue a conduit ally raised in freq c ti a m auto

Live & Virtual

UPCOMING EVENTS

3 Breath

e! Ju some dee st by taking p, conscio us breaths, y ou will find yourself in a clearer s pa When you imagine y ce. o u rself rising high er with ea c h breath, yo u will!

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

AspireMag.net

TRANSFORMATIONAL AUTHOR EXPERIENCE || DETAILS! Christine Kloser–Marianne Williamson–Linda Joy... INSPIRING WOMEN SUMMIT || DETAILS! DON’T SWEAT the SMALL STUFF for MOMS || DETAILS! Free virtual Event with Host Kristine Carlson & 45 guests

43


SEVEN WAYS To Tune Into Your Body, TAP Into Your Bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Innate Intelligence, Reverse aging & THrive

By Dr. Sara Gottfried

M

ost of us have our mothers to thank for our ingrained eating habits, exercise approach and self-image. For me, it was a crazy, yoga-practicing, kale-eating great-grandmother.

44

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Mud the Miracle-Grandma

When I was little, my great-grandmother Mud came to visit our family. My sister and I were hoping she would bring presents, cookies, maybe a Barbie or two.


Someone still owes me a Barbie. Mud stuck out like a sore thumb...make that a strong, lithe, beautifully manicured thumb. She drank warm water and lemon all day long. I’ve never met anyone better at cheating at cards. She slept on a board and practiced yoga, decades before it was popular. Mud had perfect teeth, perfect posture, and an unrelenting dedication to whole foods. She looked 25 years younger than her peers and could lift her

foot behind her head, as a great-grandmother. This was a woman seriously in tune with her body. Mud figured out how to keep her body balanced, her metabolism humming, and her lifestyle rejuvenating. The inspiring thing is: Mud shouldn’t be the exception. We’ve all got the potential to be as youthful and energetic as Mud, and I’m going to help you get started today.

Centuries of Wisdom

With Mud as my inspiration, I’ve spent decades exploring the world of prevention, healing, and repair through nutrition and lifestyle. Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine prove that health can be managed through daily habits and natural remedies, from what we put in our mouths to when we close our eyes at night. Bruno knows how intelligent and adaptable our bodies are:

Cause you’re amazing, Just the way you are. - Bruno Mars, Just The Way You Are

As a practicing physician who’s worked with over 20,000 patients, I know our bodies come with built-in systems designed to help us heal, manage, and live the heck out of every hour, of every day. It makes sense, right? The more we own and care for our bodies, the more we’ll get out of them. Here’s how:

1. Work on Your Gut

Health, like beauty, really is on the inside: The millions of bacteria that make up the microbial garden of your gut are your body’s first line of defense against infections and illness. Known as the microbiome of the gut, science is exploding with studies proving our bodies are designed – like some crazy robot of the future – to heal themselves. When they’re out of balance, bad bacteria start to cause problems, whether it comes from a virus or hormonal imbalance.

Own it:

A healthy diet creates healthy bacteria, which turns you into an infectionfighting, cold-thwarting

45

HEALTH & WELLNESS

But when she stepped off the plane from California, Mud was pulling a suitcase full of kale, fish oil, wheat berries and Meyer lemons.


machine. Eat whole foods that balance your blood sugar and provide vitamins and minerals.

2. You Snooze, You Win Create circadian congruence. Humans are designed to rise with the sun and to sleep when it’s dark. Seems a little obvious, but most us are guilty of late nights and days spent in an office. Sure, there are morning people and night owls, but your hormones are released according to your sleep/wake cycle.

Own it:

Get your Circadian rhythm in order, and your body will produce the hormones you need when you need them. Do your best t wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day. Also remember that there’s no better way to wake up than to expose yourself to sunlight.

46

3. Exceptional Eating If you need a Frappuccino and an order from McDonald’s to get through your day, that’s a sign your hormones are off – bad news for your DNA. Cravings for salt and sugar can be cries for help from your thyroid, your cortisol levels, or your even sleep cycle.

Own it:

Create a diet high in whole foods, fiber, and water. Take a hormone quiz (you’ll see how at the end of this post) to see which aspects of your diet might be lacking.

4. Restore, Rejuvenate, Refresh Accelerated aging, wrinkles, moodiness, low energy... these are all signs that your

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

body hasn’t had a chance to repair itself. Cell repair is an important process that happens every night, but late bedtimes and not enough sleep are serious roadblocks.

Own it:

I’m strict because I care: lights out by 10pm (at least 5 of 7 nights each week). Getting in bed by this time is the magic hour to facilitate repair benefit to your body, cells, and muscles. The ratio of catabolism (wear and tear) to anabolism (growth and repair) shifts while you sleep, and the hours before midnight are especially auspicious. This is how to avoid Botox. Do it.

5. Symptoms Are Not a Cry for Pills Think about a health problem as a text message from your body: Hard-tolose belly fat? Your cortisol could be high. Low sex drive? Testosterone and estrogen levels may be off. Memory loss? Estrogen and cortisol could be factors in this equation. These aren’t problems asking for a prescription – they’re asking for a lifestyle change.


Own it:

6. I Stress, Eustress... Don’t confuse hyperdrive, late-night bursts of energy and other stress-junkie symptoms for productivity. Yes, elevated cortisol is bad for you, but so is low cortisol. Ideally, you get a burst of cortisol in the morning that wakes you up and gets you going. Over the course of the day, your cortisol levels should slowly decline so that when bedtime rolls around (10pm, remember?), it’s easy to relax and fall asleep. Cortisol needs to be in the “Goldilocks” position: not too high, and not too low.

Own it:

“Eustress” means good stress, because we all need some cortisol in our lives. It’s what gets us going! The healthy solution is to change your reaction to stressful situations; approach them as a challenge, or try some deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.

7. Be a Good Neighbor Think of your body as a neighborhood: a busy community of hormones, bacteria, and hard-working organs. Many of these work together – known as “cross talk” – which means that if one aspect of your health is

Own it:

Figure out what your body needs, and do it! Returning this interconnected system to balance may have positive effects you didn’t even think of! Healthier skin! More flexible joints! The ability to sleep without a glass of wine!

SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BODY

Your body can do a lot; from a perfect French Braid, to remembering where you left your car keys, to getting over a cold, it’s a pretty incredible machine. Give your body the chance to rise to its full potential by making lifestyle changes, such as reducing your alcohol consumption, exercising more, and losing weight. In this way, you’re maximizing your DNA; keeping your hormones balanced helps prevent your negative genetic tendencies. Non-genetic triggers can cause your genes to behave, or express themselves, differently. This is where being proactive establishes your hormone cure. Sara Gottfried, M.D. teaches women and men how to balance their hormones naturally so they can rock their mission and marriage. She is a Harvard-educated physician, MIT-trained bioengineer, certified yoga teacher. speaker and author of The Hormone Cure: Reclaim Balance, Sleep, Sex Drive and Vitality Naturally with The Gottfried Protocol (Simon & Schuster, 2013). She is regularly featured in magazines such as O Magazine, Glamour, and Yoga Journal, and TV, including The Ricki Lake Show and 20/20. Dr. Gottfried is known for quoting Top 40 lyrics and effortlessly blending the seriousness of one’s health with playfulness and humor. Learn more at www.saragottfriedmd.com.

47

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Get to the root cause. Up the Omega 3s in your diet, and take some B6. These are just a few of the gentle, prescription-free ways you can care for you body, and pretty much everyone will benefit from them. Always try lifestyle tweaks such as diet or exercise solutions before you reach for the pill bottle.

off, chances are it’s affecting something else. High cortisol often results in low thyroid, which means a stressed-out mind and a slowing metabolism. No, thank you.


LIVING the

Goddess Lifestyle

Exquisite

Physical Self-Care: AN ESSENTIAL PRACTICE FOR A

Modern Day Goddess

M

ost women today have no idea on how to administer exquisite physical self-care. We tend to spend so much time cultivating our spiritual growth we that we forget our sacred body vessel needs our attention too. In the past, I too have been guilty of this!

48

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

BY LISA MARIE ROSATI

There was a time in my life when I was completely disconnected from my divinity. My self-care ritual would consist of me feverishly slapping on drugstore brand body and facial moisturizer after a 4-minute shower. If I were being mindful that day I would remind myself to rub the moisturizer in a littleâ&#x20AC;Ś Exquisite physical self-care is not something that is commonly taught to


Self-care is an essential daily ritual for a Modern Day Goddess. When you take care of yourself and your appearance, it’s most definitely a visual treat for others … but more so it’s honoring YOU and your divinity. It clearly states, “I take care of myself and therefore I have the capacity (if I choose) to take care of you.” It shows that you are able to prioritize your life in a way that nourishes, celebrates and honors your physical body

… cultivating self-respect, self-love, sex appeal and vibrant energy with which you can embrace life. I can assure you that there is nothing more alluring and beautiful in this world than a healthy, nourished, well-tended to woman… A Modern Day Goddess.

Selfcare “

is an essential daily ritual for a Modern Day Goddess. When you take care of yourself and your appearance, it’s most definitely a visual treat for others...” Sure, there are days when I’m under the weather a bit and not feeling very Goddess-like. On those days I make a point to take some extra time to

tantalize my senses and coax my Inner Goddess to come out and play. I know what my Inner Goddess needs, so I give it to her without hesitation. I’ll take a bubble bath, blend some pure essential oils into my facial moisturizer, slowly and loving caress my sacred body vessel with homemade moisturizer filled with skin nourishing ingredients and put on some lipstick.

Yup- lipstick! Both of my grandmothers wore lipstick, but interestingly… not my mom. About three years ago, I thought to myself … maybe there’s something to that lipstick thing … so I tried it. You know what… I found that a little lipstick works like magic! I get an immediate lift in spirits when I put it on. My Grandma Millie wore a cool toned red lipstick all the time and my Nani wore a pinky-mauve shade.

49

HEALTH & WELLNESS

women by their elders in today’s world, although I wholeheartedly believe it should be. Long gone are the days of mothers passing natural beauty secrets down to their daughters. It’s sad because I have found that some of the best beauty secrets have literally been around for thousands of years and they work better and are much healthier for you than most of the stuff you can buy today! Over the years I have made a conscious effort to pass some beauty secrets and rituals on to my daughter Chelsea.


I work from home so it would be really easy to allow myself to sit in my old, comfy flannel pajamas all day, every day. As tempting as that thought is to me at times, it’s something I consciously avoid doing. I get dressed for work everyday… the commute to my office is literally 15 steps. On days when I’m not feeling particularly great, I’ll skip putting on a full face of make-up. I’ll wash and moisturize my sacred body vessel, put on comfy clothes like Yoga pants with a cozy top and my lipstick! Unlike my grandmothers I do not have a signature shade of lipstick, I allow my mood or my outfit to dictate the color

choice. It’s so much fun to experiment with lipstick colors! Ultimately taking care of myself physically gives me soaring confidence; to take new risks, make a phone call, make an offer and say “No” when I mean it. In fact taking care of my body indirectly strengthens my receiving muscles… I know my worth, I celebrate my individuality and I’m in tune with my physical needs. I know when I need a good cry, a belly laugh, a bubble bath or when to go to sleep early and I allow myself to receive ALL those things and more. Self-care is truly self-love.

When women around you witness you feeling and looking fresh and vibrant because of your ritual of exquisite physical selfcare … it will silently give them permission to do the same. Viva la Modern Day Goddess!

Passionista Lisa Marie Rosati is an Inner Goddess Catalyst for women and the Creatrix of The Goddess Lifestyle Plan. Lisa mentors women on how become a Modern Day Goddess by consciously designing a luscious Goddess life, cultivating radiant health and creating a lucrative business using and directing their feminine fire. www.GoddessLifestylePlan.com

h re with healt tu fu r u o y to to “Growing in doesn’t have ty u a e b d n a and grace uires a . It rather req e m ti r u o y ll take a if r yourself as fo g n ri ca to dedication h you recious, whic p d n a re ra you were around you fe li ll a g in rd a are, and reg , which it is.” as equally so

Victoria

50

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Moran


Five-Step System FOR HEALTH & WELLNESS

Clearing Emotional Undercurrent By Lisa Michaels

W

ater’s potent ways of teaching are as varied as the forms she takes— oceans, rivers, lakes, streams, rain, drinking water, ice, hot water, bathing water, hail, snow sleet. Water teaches you through the realm of feelings and emotions. Feelings can range from cold, frozen, steamy, hot, smooth, gentle, calm, or be like a rough day out at sea. Your emotions provide important guidance and teachings about your life and business, and everyone possesses a different comfort level when it comes to feeling and working with them. Few people were taught how to honor and work with emotions as children, and yet emotional maturity is an essential component for full effectiveness in the world. Water teaches you to find greater levels of emotional safety in your relationships and to express more of who you are in the world. But what happens when there’s an undercurrent in your watery feeling realm, something that threatens to pull you down, keep you small, or quell your dreams? What do you do when you’re filled with self-doubt or give up your personal power?

An emotional undercurrent is something that’s frequently held because of childhood. It’s something that’s underneath the surface that usually got infused into your inner Water (or emotional realm) before you even had any idea that there was such a thing as emotions and undercurrents; you felt them but you had no thinking knowledge of them. Water is an element where infusion happens, and when you’re super young, you might have heard something or had a feeling, and that feeling locked something into the emotional realm. Sometimes it’s an emotional feeling matrix that got passed down in your family. A common undercurrent is insecurity. Often, there’s a form of childhood programming where the child is actually made to feel insecure so parents or teachers can have more control in order to hold power over the child. Religious training sometimes creates this type of “power over” too. The resulting insecurity the child feels gets infused with emotional Water with no conscious thought on the part of the child, something that happens very early in a child’s life. Unfortunately, many parents, especially in old style parenting, unwittingly infused

51


insecurity into their children as their way of maintaining control and/or superiority. What clears an emotional undercurrent is truth. A lot of times the old feelings are attracting experiences into your life instead of clear, clean Water that’s infused with truth. Your mind is saying, “I want to create this, this, and this,” but something is stopping you. So it’s really important to get clear of any unintentional emotions that infuse your inner Water.

Here Are The

5 Steps To Clearing Your Emotional Undercurrents: 1.

Recognize and acknowledge the undercurrent. Ask what undercurrent is influencing you right now? What are you feeling about what you’re doing? Consider what the undercurrent is and name it. If it’s insecurity, actually declare, “Wow, okay, I can feel that as insecurity.” Or it might be jealousy. Or fear.

52

In each case, say, “Wow, okay, I can feel that as (fill in the blank).

2.

Acknowledge the unmet emotional needs that the undercurrent is bringing to you. Let’s take insecurity again for an example. Often the unmet emotional need is for approval and praise. Even as you grow older, you might be going around in your life and your business with a strong desire for a parent or somebody else to approve of you because that makes you feel good. That’s an unmet need. Explore your unmet emotional needs. What’s a current unmet need you hold right now? Name all of them because there may be more than one.

3.

Notice the impact that each unmet need has had on your life and in your business. If it’s insecurity, for example, it could have caused you to stop doing things when you experienced criticism or when you didn’t get enough approval, or enough praise.

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Inwardly, you didn’t have the emotional clarity to keep going with what your inner guidance was when you weren’t receiving what you expected externally. Or there might have been a learning curve involved, and you might have felt, “I can’t do this, I can’t sustain it, I don’t know how.” A lot of things can come up, so you want to see what the unmet need has caused you to do in your life and in your business.

4.

Once you’ve looked at the impact and the influence, it’s time to clear any unmet needs. Use the power of intention to do that. Start by making a clearing statement. Let’s say you’re clearing insecurity or the unmet need for approval, praise and recognition. Using the power of intention, you simply say, “I clear any unmet need for approval, praise, or recognition.” Breathe in deeply and repeat this clearing statement—“I clear (fill in the unmet need)”—a couple of times until you feel like you’re clear. You can also


5.

Infuse a new message into your inner Water. Water responds to messages and feelings infused into it. It’s an element that you can imprint. That’s a really powerful thing, but you have to consciously do it. To infuse a new message in your inner Water, use prayer or affirmation-type sentences. You might say, “You’re doing a good job.” “I approve, recognize and praise myself.” Or “I love myself. I appreciate all that I’m doing.” “I infuse grace and ease; I release myself from any need to be perfect, and open to consciously create.” There are so many things you can create, but you must infuse a message in your inner Water that makes you feel expansive and uplifted.

As an adult, you’re responsible for taking care of your inner Water. Even when your inner Water has leftover energy from your childhood, now that you know how to identify and clear what’s been infused as an undercurrent, you no longer have to work with emotions that hold you back. Using the 5 steps provided above, keep your inner Water—your emotional realm—crystal clear and full of truth. Celebrated elemental wisdom teacher, author, and Natural Rhythms president, Lisa Michaels teaches you how to connect with the profound power of Nature so you can dramatically increase your ability to thrive in every area of life. Chosen as a 2010 Hay House Mover & Shaker, Lisa can help you ignite your inner gifts through her products, workshops, facilitator and coach trainings. Her most current products include the book Natural Rhythms, the Elemental Forces of Creation Oracle and Audio Book. Lisa’s work has helped thousands of people find keys to moving their lives forward, thus enlivening their ability to cocreate and unlocking their natural growth potential. Visit www. NaturalRhythms.org and download your FREE Natural Rhythms Starter Kit today.

53

HEALTH & WELLNESS

dance the energy of the unmet need out to clear it. So, you’re breathing, dancing, breathing and dancing, really consciously with intention, moving that unmet need out of your inner Water.


Big Fat

Lies About

Self-Care

Practical Tips to Break Free of Your Inner Critic So You Can Take Care of Fabulous You! By Amy Ahlers, Certified Life Coach & Bestselling Author

Ah yes, self-care....we know we should practice it. We ought to have ME time, right? Truly, I don’t know a woman on the planet who thinks self-care is a bad idea. So if we know self-care is so good for us...what gets in the way of us actually doing it? Meet self-care enemy #1... your Inner Mean Girl and her Big Fat Lies! Our Inner Mean Girls/Inner Critics are notorious for filling our heads with all sorts of addictive negative

54

thoughts that ultimately lead to self-sabotage and procrastination. After all, our Inner Mean Girls job is to maintain the status quo...keep us in our comfort zones (if our comfort zones aren’t all that comfy!). So what’s a gal to do? To get started, see if any of these Top Three Big Fat Lies about Self-Care are getting in the way of you following through on this all important practice:

Big Fat Lie #1 Taking care of myself is selfish:

This lie is one of the

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

biggest traps women fall into, leading to overwhelm, depression and downright resentment. When we put our own well-being first, we are more able to be there for others, right? I know how hard it can be to carve out personal time. . .boy, do I know! But it is vital to do so to be a present and caring human being. By deciding to take responsibility for your self-care, you are giving yourself the opportunity to be a good parent, friend, partner, sibling, and/or coworker. Why not get started with simply one hour/week of ME TIME and ease your way up?


Often times our Inner Mean Girl sets us up to be too over-scheduled, overworked and overwhelmed to even consider putting selfcare on the relentless to-do list. If you’re feeling victimized by your own schedule, it’s time for you to take your power back. Go through your to-do list and use the use the Choose, Lose, or Delegate system to put yourself on the road to a more energizing and inspiring life with plenty of time for self-care. Start by creating a list of all the weekly or monthly activities that make you feel overwhelmed. Then, sort them by using these three categories: Choose, Lose, and Delegate.

Choose:

These activities are the ones that make you feel satisfied — the ones that you claim with a sense of enthusiasm and purpose. We’ll call this state of mind “being at choice.”

Lose:

These are the things you’re doing that simply don’t need to be done — the ones that you dislike and are willing to let go of entirely.

Delegate:

These activities are those that you dislike doing but that you can delegate to someone else. Before you know it, you’ll have created some space for your much needed ME time!

Big Fat Lie #3 I can’t say no:

Often times one of the biggest fattest lies that robs us of our self-care time is that we haven’t developed the skill of saying no to others and setting boundaries. Fearful that we’ll end up shunned, unlovable even, if we aren’t available all the time to meet everyone else’s needs. The truth is that when you say no, you teach people how to honor and respect you. You also establish boundaries that allow people to understand what works and what doesn’t work for you. If you say yes when you’re really aching to say no, you aren’t letting people see the real you. And, darling, you deserve to be seen and loved for the truth of who you are! Try starting with a baby step by putting a self-care practice (like taking a bubble bath, meditation or exercise) on your calendar and respecting and honoring it as if it were an appointment with the President. Build upon your commitment and watch your selfcare flourish! The more you recognize your Inner Mean Girl and her Big Fat Lies and tap more into the compassionate truth, the more you’ll increase self-love, self-esteem and selfrespect. Amy Ahlers, the Wake-Up Call Coach, is the bestselling author of Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves: Ditch Your Inner Critic and Wake Up Your Inner Superstar. A certified Life Coach, speaker & author, she is taking a STAND for women to stop being so hard on themselves and start loving themselves instead. Join her community of nearly 40k souls who are committed to waking up to the voice of their Inner Wisdom & cultivating the courage to act on it. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter and make sure to go HERE to claim your free Inner Superstar Kit so you can shine bright!

55

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Big Fat Lie #2 I’m too overwhelmed... I don’t have time:


It Always Comes Back to

Self-Care By Jodi Chapman

S

ometimes you just don’t feel like going within and centering yourself and slowing down. Sometimes you feel as though you truly don’t have time for it. Your life doesn’t allow for these seemingly frivolous breaks of journaling, meditating, and soulfulness. “What does this have to do with the real world anyway,” you might ask yourself? “How is this going to pay my bills or put food on the table?” Rather than taking this time

56

to slow down and nurture my spirit, you could instead use this time to catch up, run errands, and get ahead – right? You might think that life would be great if it worked that way. I am the first person to admit that I am not always a huge follower of putting into practice what I write. I oftentimes get into the mindset of linear thinking – how is A going to get me to B? For example,

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

I know that processing an order for my journals will put money into my bank account, which will allow me to pay my bills. Soul work isn’t a linear concept, though, and so my rational mind tends to resist it – especially when I am feeling frazzled. It tends to get pushed back because I feel that the orders and the customers and the things that lead me to making a living and surviving should be at the top of the list.


So I keep pushing. And I keep going. And I keep doing.

And that’s when I come back to myself. That’s when I realize how important selfcare truly is. That’s when it hits me that had I been doing this all along, I wouldn’t be feeling so run down and exhausted now. I have the tools to prevent this. I have the tools to take care of myself. It’s just a matter of building it into my schedule and doing it. It’s a matter of knowing that I am worthy of this self love. It’s a matter of creating space throughout my day to check in with how I’m doing. It’s a matter of allowing myself to stop pushing for a little while and just relax – listen to my body – listen to my soul. Each January, I choose a word that will be my theme for the year ahead. Because I know how important self-care is (and because I knew that it was something I could use extra support with), this year I chose the word, “nourish.” I didn’t create specific goals for myself around this word, but I hoped that if I continued to think about it and continued to allow it to seep into my soul, then I would begin taking steps to nourish myself. So I wrote it on my bathroom mirror (dry erase markers work really well for this), and little by little over the past few months, it’s been soaking into my consciousness.

For example, I used to work every day. It wasn’t something I even thought about, really. I’ve worked for myself for the past 10 years, and this never-ending cycle of work just sort of happened. I have a bit of an obsessive personality and I’m also a perfectionist. Put those together without the structure of a normal work environment, and pretty soon I was working all of the time. (It also helps that I love what I do and have a hard time even calling most of it work...) :) One of the baby steps that I started this year is to take one day off per week. And, for the most part, I am sticking to it. For the most part, I crave this time. For the most part, I look forward to it. I say, “For the most part...” because when the day actually comes and I realize that I’m not going to work, I usually feel a void inside my heart. I feel pretty down, and I start to wonder who I am without my work. But rather than numb these feelings and go back to work, I sit with them. I allow them to be there. I create the space to reflect on them. Because I know that I need to face these feelings if I’m going to continue to grow and continue my own soul work. I give my soul a chance to share its wise self with me, and it always says just what I need to hear to help me realize that I’m right where I need to be. Nourishment isn’t just related to rest, though. For me it’s about being conscious of how I

57

HEALTH & WELLNESS

And I eventually get to a point where I can’t go anymore. I am too tired. Too burned out. My cup is empty.

Sometimes a leap is required to make a change, and other times it’s just a whole lot of little changes that create a lasting, big change. That’s what I’m creating for myself with regard to self-care – little, lasting changes.


treat myself. Am I being nice to myself, or am I causing harm in some way? Are there areas where I could use some extra love and support? It’s about checking in with my body and my heart continually and getting super clear about what I need (and what I don’t need).

you. Give yourself permission to be in whatever space you are in. Don’t try to force happiness. You’ll feel a whole lot better if you are living authentically - in whatever mood that happens to be.

For me, self-care is a process - it’s not something that happens overnight. It’s a journey of making conscious choices based on what feeds my soul and what nourishes my spirit. It’s about staying in touch with my body and really listening to what it needs. It’s about loving myself enough to walk away from that which causes stress and strain. It’s about welcoming anything and everything that feels wonderful and feeds my soul.

Recreate a balanced life by applying your soul’s wisdom into your physical life. Take any insights that you receive during your downtime and find ways to incorporate them into your life.

Loving myself and treating myself right is definitely a life-long journey, but it’s a journey that I am so happy to be on. I would love for you to join me, as well.

Step 3.

Step 4.

Celebrate you! It feels great to take care of yourself. And it feels super when good things come out of this self-care! So be sure to celebrate any successes you have anytime you put yourself first.

Here is the self-care formula that is helping me love myself a little extra:

I know that this doesn’t come naturally to many of us. We are used to putting ourselves last. But I promise if you start to take baby steps into a life where you matter, your soul will reward you with amazing gifts and insights.

Step 1.

I’m already finding that for myself, which is such a beautiful incentive to keep going.

Slow down. Take an entire day off – a sabbatical from life. Pamper yourself. Love yourself. And spend your time relaxing.

Step 2.

Write down any insights or clarity you receive after you have had time to just be still. Allow emotions to flow through

58

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Jodi Chapman is the author of the inspirational blog, Soul Speak and the bestselling Soulful Journals series, co-authored with her husband, Dan Teck. She would love to help you reconnect with your soul! Receive over 100 soulful writing prompts for free by clicking here!


Mindfulness-Based

RECOVERY Balance and Rejuvenate! A workbook for emotional and physical healing. Janet Gallagher Nestor Counselor, Energy Psychologist, Soul Detective and Intuitive

“A necessity for 21st century living. A practical means for daily balancing.” – Indrani Maity, ND, D.Ay., Integrated Ayurvedic Naturopathic Energy Medicine Center

www.mindfulpathways.com Get started NOW First 2 Chapters

FREE! CLAIM YOUR GIFT NOW!

CLAIM NOW Infusion of Gratitude Meditation mp3 Audio (a $47 value!)

ExplorationGratitude.com

59


The

Wise Woman Way

food for a

Woman’s Soul BY SUsun weed

A

s a student of Nature, I am given but one rule: I eat you. And you eat me. Life is a search for nourishment. That’s what my goats do: Look for leaves and eat them. That’s what the coyotes do: Look for food (roadrunners, beep, beep) and eat it. That is what our souls do too: Look for food. Search for nourishment. Reach out, longing, for fulfillment. It can be daunting to figure out what we ought to eat for dinner. Not being goats or coyotes, we have choices, stores, too many choices, restaurants, too many inauthentic choices. It becomes difficult to pick out the truly nourishing food from the pleasing, tasty, but useless food.

60

Just so with nourishment for the soul. If we find ourselves at the market again and again, looking for food for our soul, then we may realize that much of what is offered there is “junk food” for the soul. We may become spiritually “obese” if we consume, but don’t actually live, the wisdom we purchase.

but often not.) Is it meditation? (A good place to begin. It is both food itself and a map to other sources of nourishment.)

How can we find the real nourishment for our souls?

Feeding the soul is paradoxical. The more we wait to be passively fed, the hungrier the soul becomes. The more we act, the more we give away, and the more risks we take, the better fed and healthier the soul becomes. Nourishment for the soul always comes from taking on responsibility and following through on commitment. Nourishment for the soul usually involves taking emotional risk.

Is it soul food? (Not a bad start. Let’s talk about this over a plate of kale and black-eyed peas.) Is it religion? (Sometimes,

We each have personal preferences and individual desires concerning what we eat. And what our soul wants to eat. Still, we can

What is authentic food for the soul? What feeds a woman’s soul?

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


HEALTH & WELLNESS

agree that all bodies need certain basic things: protein, vitamins, minerals, starches, fats. Similarly, there are key nutrients that all souls need. And there are also special nutrients that a woman’s soul needs. Humans are social beings. Our souls crave company. Find and join or create a group. Attend regularly. A coven is an excellent way to feed the soul, as are church and synagogue groups, book clubs, moon lodges, community theaters, and choirs. Having a regular group where you are known and supported is especially important for women’s souls. Without it, women become depressed. Humans learn from mentors. Souls need role models. Having a role model for feeding your soul is as important as having bowls and plates for your food. A

goddess archetype feeds a woman’s soul. A goddess archetype shows us the range of our sacredness, the length and breadth of our souls. Let a goddess choose you, or invite a goddess to live with you by setting up an altar to her. Or chose a real woman, living or dead, to be your mentor in feeding your soul. Peace Pilgrim and Mildred Burke feed my soul. My archetype is the Statue of Liberty. (Before menopause, my archetype was Artemis.) Humans hate change. Souls want repetition. Nothing feeds the soul like ritual, repeated ritual. The same words said in the same way, with the same smells, in the same clothes, and the same place. Promise your soul anything, but give it a schedule it can depend on. Whether it is “services” once a week, high holidays every six weeks, or a personal ceremony enacted daily – before

61


meals, before bed, or on arising – give your soul something it can count on. Weekly yoga class, monthly massage, weight training twice a week, Sunday walks with a friend, moving our bodies on a regular schedule feeds the soul twice. Humans strive to be visible. Souls want to be seen and heard. It is important to have a witness. Talking stick ceremony was gifted to me by Grandmother Twylah Nitsch, She Whose Voice Rides the Wind. During this ceremony, which is done every day at the Wise Woman Center, and before every one of my classes, each person is seen and heard by all the others. Women’s souls require this food. Without it they grow desperate, despairing, ugly, and mean. Find or create a regular, reliable place and time to be seen and heard for the benefit of your soul and your friends. Pets can be witnesses to our souls; they see us and they hear us. Souls are part of Nature. Return to the earth as often as you can for the sake of your soul. Bare feet on the ground, sitting in the park, can be as nourishing to the soul as a week of camping, and a lot more likely to be done on a regular basis. Look up and feed your soul: sunrise, birds, clouds, tree leaves, sunset, stars, the moon! You are part of a bigger pattern, a dancer in a grand performance, a pulsating mote in a universe of vibration. Let Nature set the clock of your soul. Souls are more often like lost children than wise elders. Does yours need a stuffed animal to be well

62

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

nourished? A special pillow? A glass of water by the bed? Be as tender as you can with your soul. Make a regular time to listen to your soul and it will tell you how to feed it, what nourishes it, and what will sustain you and your soul through loss, crisis, and upheaval. Souls like to play. Souls like bright colors. And things that sparkle and flash. Take your soul to the circus. Let it play dress-up. Dress your soul in feathers and jewels, silks and satins. Souls love wonder and mystery and majesty. The universe is an amazing place. Feed your soul by taking it on an imaginary trip around the galaxy, or look at actual pictures from Hubble or from any of the exploratory missions we have launched to the planets and moons of our solar system. Remembering how small and insignificant we really are makes the soul feel large and free. Souls like music and souls like silence. Be sure to feed your soul a balanced diet. Susun Weed is an internationally renowned herbalist, author, and director of the Wise Woman Center in New York. She is a revered voice of the Wise Woman Tradition, where women’s bodies and women’s emotions are valued. Susun is a founding grandmother of the herbal renaissance and the originator of the concept of complementary medicine. www.SusunWeed.com


Pen Paper TO

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Soulful, Loving and Guilt-Free Self-Care Through

Reflective Journaling By Lynda Monk

S

oulful self-care is the way in which you care for and nourish the essence of who you are - past what you do, beyond all the roles that define you, it is how you turn inward to know, grow and care for yourself. As women, our focus is often outwards on the needs of others and sometimes this other-focused caring can come at the cost of our own health, well-being and selfcare. This can lead to exhaustion, fatigue, resentment, illness and it can also weaken our sense of joy and happiness over time. We need a balance or blend between selfcare and other-care to ensure that we fill our own emotional cups. This helps us love better, parent better, lead better and feel better! It is a win-win.

We are all meant to give and receive care – care from within and care from and for others. When we neglect our self-care, we give away our power and potential. By contrast, when we are connected with caring for ourselves, we are also tapped into our personal power through Source energy. Source energy is the universal, abundant, always generous energy that flows through us when we are open, aware and willing to receive. Source energy heals, energizes and supports the full expression of who we are and it gets blocked by busy-ness, procrastination, self-neglect and self-doubt – it gets blocked when we forget to care for the essence of who we are in a loving, gentle way. One of the biggest reasons as women we might neglect or forget our own self-care is because we feel _____ (fill in the blank)…

63


you’re right, we often feel guilty when we put our own needs first or make our selfcare a priority. To truly thrive and care for ourselves, we must eradicate guilt from the realm of self-care. Guilt serves as a form of emotional and psychological sabotage… none of us want to feel guilty and we will do things to avoid feeling this way. So if we feel guilty when we care for ourselves, you can see that it is harder to get to this important part of our lives because we may in fact be avoiding it for fear of being seen as selfish, self-indulgent, and so forth. As women, we must remember ourselves, we must not abandon ourselves. It helps to care for ourselves as someone we really, really love. How do you treat someone you really love? How are you treating yourself? How do you feel about yourself? Think about this with a compassionate heart, suspend self-judgment and allow yourself to get curious and really reflect on the nature and level of self-care and self-love in your life at this time. What do you notice about this part of your life and health? What changes are calling to you at this time? Journaling is one way to care for ourselves as women. Regular reflective journaling is a gentle practice where you show up to the blank page, and in turn, you show up for yourself. Journal writing is a creative and effective way to reduce stress, gain clarity and connect with your spirit.

64

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Regular reflective and expressive writing helps you get crystal clear about your value, your worthiness, your story and the unique contribution you are here to make. The blank page invites your voice, your lived experience, your story and the longings in your heart. In this context, I believe journaling is a form of soulful self-care – a process that takes us into the heart of ourselves. When we access this place, this home where our personal power and inner wisdom live, we naturally access greater inner peace and are engaged in soulful self-care.

REFLECTIVE JOURNALING EXERCISE What does it mean to you to be a Soulful Self-Care Enthusiast? Write for 20 minutes, starting with A Soulful Self-Care Enthusiast…


Given that I always try to “practice what I preach”, here is my journaling flowing from this exercise…

She loves and honors herself, often. She gives and receives abundance with grace. A soulful self-care enthusiaststrives to truly care for others and the causes she believes in. She remains authentic and lives to inspire by example. She lives her truth quietly and out loud. A soulful self-care enthusiast finds beauty, possibility and compassion in both her inner and outer worlds She helps others to do the same. She asks others for help when she needs it.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

A soulful self-care enthusiast seeks wisdom and well-being for herself and others.

A soulful self-care enthusiast is calm, grounded and centered, even when the winds of her life blow all around her. She feels her own pulse, as part of the pulse of the world. She experiences a sense of oneness with all that is. A soulful self-care enthusiast makes a difference with her Presence. She breathes in and out with awareness. She reflects often, listening to whispers of wisdom within. A soulful self-care enthusiastknows that to be kind to another, she must be kind to herself.

Lynda Monk, MSW, RSW, CPCC is the founder of Creative Wellness and author of Life Source Writing™: A Reflective Journaling Practice. She offers a free e-book filled with journaling exercises to discover and nourish YOU – click here to get your free copy. Lynda regularly speaks, teaches and coaches on the transformational and healing power of expressive writing for self-care and personal growth.

65


FREE

Bring Your Book to Life www.LisaTener.com

with National Book Writing Coach Lisa Tener


RELATIONSHIPS Me Before WE

“Remember that the best

relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” Dalia Lama

Read Online!

BY Christine Arylo

The best lives are lived and created from the inside out. If it’s a dynamic, fulfilling, intimate and authentic partnership you seek, you first must create that kind of relationship with yourself. The truth is, we all have the relationship that we choose. It may not be the one we want, but whether we like it or not, we’ve created it. If you want something different, the only place to start is with ME. It might not be the easiest path, but it will always be the most fulfilling. Here are five must-have promises to yourself that will give you the fortitude and commitment needed to choose ME before WE: KNOW ME. Know who you are at your core. Know your dreams, values, gifts and more. Know the life you want to live, regardless of any relationship, societal pressures or family expectations. Know your own emotional holes and heal them. It’s called self-awareness. Build it. TRUTHFULLY ME. Get downright real about how honest you are with yourself. What lies have you told yourself about ME, HE or WE just to keep a relationship alive? Commit to unwavering, uncompromising truth with yourself. LOVE ME. Love yourself first and make your happiness a priority. Contrary to popular belief, loving yourself is not selfish. The more you love ME the more you can and will love others. Ask yourself often, “Am I happy?” and give an honest reply. TRUST ME. When that inner voice of intuition talks to you, listen! Stop taking the advice of your voices of fear, the “shoulds,” and the over-rationalized “musts.” Your intuition is always on your side. Make a promise to trust it and act on it.

Live & Virtual

UPCOMING EVENTS

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

AspireMag.net

DON’T SWEAT the SMALL STUFF for MOMS || DETAILS! Free virtual Event with Host Kristine Carlson & 45 guests INSPIRING WOMEN SUMMIT || DETAILS! TRANSFORMATIONAL AUTHOR EXPERIENCE || DETAILS! Christine Kloser–Marianne Williamson–Linda Joy...


IS A CHOICE By Gina Lake

W

e tend to think of love as an uncontrollable feeling that comes over us. Although this overwhelming feeling does happen, real love and love that is sustained is always a choice: You choose to be open to someone, you choose to accept them, and that openness and acceptance allows love to flow. This process is often unconscious, so we often don’t realize we are choosing to accept someone when it’s happening. But that choice to accept someone is what precedes love. It happens unconsciously all the time, and it can happen more consciously too.

68

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

When acceptance and love happen unconsciously, it’s often because someone fits our ideas, desires, and conditioning. We find that person pleasing because we identify with him or her in some way, probably because we see qualities similar to ours, or perhaps because we see a quality we admire and would like to develop. When our acceptance doesn’t happen automatically and unconsciously, we can simply choose to accept someone because he or she is different or unusual in some way. You can learn to welcome and embrace differences rather than reject them, as the


It’s useful to notice how much we withhold love from others because they are different. Once we become more conscious of this tendency, we are free to make another choice—to choose to celebrate differences rather than reject them—and that choice opens our heart and our life up to new possibilities. Conditioning and the ego are what stand in the way of acceptance and choosing to love someone. The ego is ambivalent toward others: It needs them and it wants to be better than them. Both of these are strategies for survival, although competing ones. So the ego has a dilemma. However, the ego isn’t the only one orchestrating our life; Essence is as well. Essence is even a more important player, and it clearly prefers love over being right and superior. The ego solves its dilemma by agreeing to relationship for its own reasons and then trying to be right and superior within the relationship. Essence’s intention in relationship, on the other hand, is unity, love, and joy, and that’s what it brings to relationship. What the ego brings to relationship is conditioning—lots of it. It has images and fantasies of the ideal relationship and the ideal mate. It has religious training, beliefs,

and rules about sex and relationships and a man’s and woman’s role in them. It has information it gathered about relationships from books, movies, the internet, soap operas, talk shows, friends, magazines, and elsewhere. It has programming that causes it to be attracted to certain qualities and features and repulsed by others. The ego also has memories of previous relationships and of how our mother and father, and everyone else it observed, behaved in relationship. It has memories of relating to the opposite sex at every age. Some of these memories are embellished and even made up. Most of them are spun into stories by the ego, so whether they are objectively true or not, they are true to it. The ego has opinions and preferences about everything, which are part of conditioning too. It likes and doesn’t like certain foods, colors, styles, music, art, sports, movies, books, TV programs—you name it, and the ego will tell you what it likes and doesn’t like about something (even if you don’t want to know). Preferences are arbitrary. They aren’t based on anything—we just like something or we don’t. No one’s preferences are better than anyone else’s. Preferences mean nothing, and they say nothing about who we really are. We are programmed to like certain things and programmed to not like certain things. Preferences are not more complicated or more important than that. To the ego, however, preferences are very important because they give the ego an identity as someone who likes this and

69

relationships

ego does. When you do that, you open up a new world of possibilities in relationship with people you never thought you could love. You still might not choose to have relationships with them, but you don’t have to miss out on the experience of love by rejecting them just because they’re different from you or because they don’t match your conditioning in some other way.


doesn’t like that. The identities that form around the ego’s preferences are who it is, and these identities are enough for the ego. But these identities aren’t what make us who we are; we are much more than our preferences. However, if we believe our preferences are important, we will hold them as important and even fight over them. The ego tells us they are more important than love, but they don’t even come close. Once the unimportance of preferences is seen, it’s not so difficult to hold them lightly, because that’s how Essence holds them. Most relationships are based on similar conditioning—similar beliefs, similar preferences, and similar viewpoints and opinions. Similar conditioning lends itself to harmony in relationships, but there’s much more to a good and satisfying relationship than this. Essence wants harmony, but not at the expense of growth. Although we might find it easier to love someone who is like us and whom we have a lot in common with, that doesn’t mean a relationship with that person will be fulfilling on a spiritual level. For a relationship to be fulfilling and not just harmonious, it also has to serve a purpose spiritually—meaning in terms of our evolution and the other person’s. You and your partner are here for a reason. The most fulfilling relationships are ones in which the individuals are fulfilling their life purposes, either jointly or individually. The perfect relationship for you—the one that will make you most happy on the deepest levels—is one that supports what you came into life to do. That is the best basis for relationship.

70

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

The problem is that it’s often hard to assess whether or not a relationship is supporting our purpose until we are in that relationship for a while, because this kind of fulfillment needs time to unfold and be recognized. It’s no wonder many relationships are unsatisfying when they are based mostly on superficial similarities and preferences rather than on something deeper. As important as similarities are for compatibility and harmony, they mean nothing without compatible spiritual goals or life purposes. How do you know if someone is in your life to support what you came here to learn or accomplish? You will fall in love with that person, because that’s how Essence brings people together, and the reason you fall in love may not even be related to what you find meaningful about this person later. The confusion comes from the fact that falling in love also happens between egos, so many false starts to relationship occur. Nevertheless, these attempts at relationship are often part of the process of preparing for a meaningful relationship. They serve our growth because our conditioning gets seen and smoothed out by them. Essence brings us these kinds of relationships if they are what we need for our growth. Excerpt from Loving in the Moment: Moving from Ego to Essence in Relationships by Gina Lake

Gina Lake is a spiritual teacher and the author of numerous books about awakening to one’s true nature, including From Stress to Stillness, Trusting Life, Embracing the Now, Radical Happiness, and Loving in the Moment. She is also a gifted intuitive with a master’s degree in counseling psychology and over twenty years experience supporting people in their spiritual growth. Her website offers information about her books, intensives, and online courses as well as free e-books, book excerpts, a monthly newsletter, a blog, and audio and video recordings: www.radicalhappiness.com


BURST OPEN relationships

THE DOOR TO MORE

Love, Intimacy& Romance

D

o you have a woman in your inner circle who always seems to have guys fall over themselves to do things for her? Long before I became a relationship expert, I had a friend like that. Kelly was petite and charming with a head of thick, long raven black hair and, at the time, appeared to have the super power ability to inspire men wherever she went to do things for her.



By Kim Sarrasin

Men would buy her drinks at bars, paint her living room, pick her up at 2am, fix her broken sink, give her spontaneous gifts and shower her in a multitude of ways with attention. It was fascinating to watch how men melted and morphed into knights in shining armor in her presence. 
 I have to admit, I envied her. Even though I was fun, confident and attractive, I would never receive the same level of attention Kelly inspired. Every man –

even strangers – gravitated to her like moths to a flame and catered to her every whim.

For the longest time I thought it was her looks but, that didn’t’ make sense because I observed other women like Kelly who attracted similar attention but weren’t nearly as attractive. With my limited knowledge at that time, I couldn’t figure out why men kept falling for this. I mean, how could men respect a woman who always needed to be taken care of?
It wasn’t until

71


I began my research on relationships and listening to hundreds of men confide their truths that I finally crack this code for myself. What Kelly (unbeknownst to her) had developed quite naturally was actually a 3 step formula: 


1.

She was proud to want things


2.

Always assumed her needs would – and should – be met


My research consistently proved (and still does!) how important it is for men to feel useful and needed by a woman. Men admire independent women but, what really turns their crank, are women who clearly express their desires and always show their appreciation for anything a man produces.

 I was brought up to believe men are more attracted to self-sufficient women. So my approach in relationship was “oh don’t worry guys, it’ll be no hassle going out with me because I can do everything myself”. Major man repellent.

3.

Demonstrated her appreciation with either a big smile or “thank you”



72

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Running to open my own door, paying for half the bill on first dates, meeting men at restaurants and, in relationships, never asking for help, support or what I wanted. It makes me cringe to think of all the little and big ways I reminded men they weren’t needed. 
 My friend Kelly’s formula looks simple, but many women struggle with it – or are not even aware how depleted they’ve become from their inability to receive. I touched on this in an article I wrote for a magazine:

“Women are in limbo right now. Not Feminist, but not quite feminine either. They’ve become like men to make it in a man’s world and stuffed their femininity along the way so they won’t appear weak or needy.” 




If this describes you, I want you to know this mindset is having a serious impact on your love life. The only way more love, intimacy and romance can come into your life is to make room for it. Allowing men to provide for you will create that opening. This isn’t about you being a “high maintenance” woman. Demanding, ungrateful and never satisfied. Not at all. It’s about being what I refer to as Desirable Maintenance. This kind of woman is so deliciously attractive to men because she’s learned how to maintain a balance between her independence yet remain in tune to her needs, expresses what she wants and – most importantly – graciously receives and appreciates all that is provided for her. 
 I understand this may go against everything you currently believe. I was there too. But I’ve witnessed how powerful this formula works in my own life as well as my clients so I recommend keeping an open mind. If you’re ready to make a change, then follow

the steps below. Every journey begins with a first step!



Simple Steps to Nurture Your Feminine Self Starting today, make the decision to graciously accept every compliment you receive now and going forward. No more deflecting or putting down your beauty, accomplishments or natural talents. Train yourself to say “thank you” at all times.

 For the next 7 days, make a point of giving verbal appreciation for every single thing a man does for you. Opening a door, a male co-worker getting you coffee, your neighbor helping you, your husband taking out the garbage or your brother fixing your computer….any small or large task a man does for you (friends and strangers alike) make a point of thanking them.

 The great thing about this is once men feel appreciation from you, they want to do MORE for you – so great, yes?! Practicing Step 1, will help you stay open to receiving this new attention. Have fun!


Kim Sarrasin – The Queen of Hearts™ is North America’s most sought after dating and relationship expert who has been featured on CBC TV, Global TV, The Globe & Mail, and twice nominated for the prestigious RBC Women Entrepreneur of the Year Award. Kim has helped thousands of women around the world heal their hearts and maintains an 87% success rate for connecting women with their ideal man. To find out more and receive your FREE audios, visit: www.attractyourking.com

73

relationships

Men admire independent women but, what really turns their crank, are women who clearly express their desires and always show their appreciation for anything a man produces.




10

Signs of a

Healthy Relationship By Margaret M. Paul, Ph.D.

“My parents had a very good relationship,” I often hear my clients say. “What do you mean by good?” I ask. “They didn’t fight. They spent a lot of time with each other.” That may have been the definition of a good relationship years ago, but now most people want more. Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship.

74

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


Kindness

Spontaneous Warmth and Affection Do you and your partner well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and express it with affection? Are you each able to see the beautiful essence within each other, rather than just the faults? Are you able to get beyond the outer to the unique inner Self of each other? Do you enjoy sharing affection? Warmth and affection are vital for a healthy relationship.

Laughter and Fun Can the two of you laugh and play together? Do you appreciate and enjoy each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sense of humor? In the midst of difficulties, can you help each other

Enjoying Time Together and Time Apart Are you both each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite person to spend time with? Are you motivated to set aside time just to be together? Do both of you have friends and interests that you enjoy doing? Are both of you fine when you are not together? Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, particularly emotional dependency.

A Method for Conflict Resolution All

relationships

have

some conflict. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. Do you have a method for resolving conflict, or do the issues just keep getting swept aside? If fighting is part of how you deal with conflict, do you fight fair, or are you hurtful when you fight?

Letting Go Of Anger If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection. Practicing the Inner Bonding process is a powerful way of letting go of anger and blame and moving back in kindness.

Trust in Your Love for Each Other Do you each trust that the love is solid, even in very difficult times between you? Do you each know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other - and the love will still be

75

relationships

Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.

to lighten up with humor? Can you let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together? Laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.


there? Do you each know that the love is about who you are, not what you do? This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

Listening, Understanding, Accepting and Learning Do you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share your secrets with your partner without fearing being judged? Are you each more interested in learning about yourselves and each other than you are in controlling each other? Is listening to each other with an open heart and a desire to understand more important than judging each other or defending yourselves?

Sexuality Is your sexual relationship warm and caring? Can you be sexually spontaneous? Can you talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you?

who will n o s r e p e th “Find se of your u a c e b u o y e lov t in spite o n d n a s e c n differe found e v a h u o y d n of them a .” a lover for life Victoria

76

Moran

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Freedom to Be Yourself Do you each feel free to be all that you are? Do you each feel supported in pursuing what brings you joy? Does your partner feel joy for your joy? While some people may naturally be open, kind, affectionate, accepting, and emotionally responsible for themselves, most people need to heal the fears and false beliefs they learned in their families. Healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or her ability to be loving to themselves and each other. Learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process leads to healthy relationships! Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process featured on Oprah. Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com welcome and visit our website at www. innerbonding.com for more articles and help.


THE

relationships

Number One

Thing

TO LOOK FOR IN A

A

re you prioritizing finding a partner who is sexy, smart, charismatic, successful-in-their-field right now? If so, Charles Manson, Ted Bundy and Mussolini fit your bill—but trust me, that doesn’t mean you should date or marry them. In my book Prince Harming Syndrome, I share an article from The New York Times about the psychology of evil which included “The Psychopath Checklist.” Criminal psychiatrists use this helpful list use to test the potential of someone being a

Partner

By Karen Salmansahn

hardcore psychopath, capable of committing repeated evil and violent crimes.

Guess which traits psychopaths share? • Glibness • Extreme charisma • Need to always be doing something •Feelings of high selfworth • Pathological lying • Proneness to boredom • Emotional unavailability To my amusement, all these adjectives also described

my now ex-Prince Harming boyfriend, who was an adorably charismatic, fun, active, confident guy. But in the end, he turned out to be a two-faced cheater. What’s the love lesson learned? One of the top traits to look for in a partner is an appealingly strong character. Think about it for a moment. Good character values not only come in handy on a day-to-day basis, but during those eventual, inevitable times of conflict.

77


If you and your partner do not value putting in the effort of acting with strong character values during times of disagreement, disappointment, stress, crisis, temptation, sadness, monetary-challenges, illness, vulnerability, misunderstandings—then your relationship will always suffer! Indeed, John Gottman, the famed psychologist and researcher who runs The Love Lab, says he can predict how long a couple will last, not by studying how well a couple gets along, but by studying how well a couple doesn’t get along. A relationship is only as strong as its weakest link— how a couple handles their challenges. The good news: If you’re involved in what my favorite philosopher buddy Aristotle called a “Relationship of Shared Virtue”—you will both want to deal with conflict by facing up to it with “strong character values” and viewing it as “a laboratory for growth.” Basically, you must accept right here—right now— if you are going to be in

78

happily ever after love, then your relationship must have a duo function.

traits—and pleasures of the body and ego —not character values which nurture the soul/core self.

“Den of pleasure”— for fun, companionship, sex, laughter, etc. which you as a human need— so you can keep your soul alive with passion!

If you want to “live happily ever after in love” you must prioritize finding a man who:

1.

2.

“Laboratory for growth”—the ultimate

place of challenge for your soul to be nurtured to grow—where you inspire one another’s “character development”—so you can both grow into your most esteemed selves – which is what Aristotle put forth was what true happiness was all about! Unfortunately, many people solely view a relationship as a place to experience pleasure—leaving out the soul-ly aspects of love— where you nurture each other to grow! In fact, when I ask the women I coach to describe what they’re looking for in a partner, they always start off listing sexiness, funniness, smartness and wealthiness! But these are all personality

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

1.

Values growing as a person

2.

Truly understands a relationship serves the double function of “den of pleasure” and “laboratory for growth” After all, if your partner doesn’t value growth, he won’t be ready to deal with non-fun, inevitable conflicts in a high integrity way. As a result, when those aforementioned d i s a g r e e m e n t s , disappointments, stresses, crises, temptations, sadnesses, monetarychallenges, illnesses, vulnerabilities and misunderstandings arise, your relationship will suffer.


Or worse, your partner will run for the hills—end of story, end of relationship!

“Buy these sexy clothes!” “Be more successful!” “Tighten your buns!” Nobody ever comes out and says: “Yo! Value good strong character values in yourself and others!” Isn’t that weird? I suppose that’s because it takes more time, effort and patience to work on strengthening one’s character values— and to truly understand another person’s inner character—than it does to quickly buy a superficial new sexy outfit, or share a leisurely romantic candlelit dinner. Hence why you must prioritize getting to know a guy’s inner character up-front—before you drop

Remember: It’s called “finding a soul mate” not “finding an ego mate”! And if you’re going to connect soul to soul, you must take the time to see your partner’s soul and feel safe enough to reveal your own soul. For this feeling of safety to occur, you must trust your partner’s integrity. Take the time to find out if your partner values embracing empathy, listening, direct communication, honesty, loyalty and growth. After all, a guy’s character will always be the determinant behind his choosing to be naughty or nice—thereby making you feel sad or happy.

a Princess in becoming liberated, so she can venture forth to become her fullest royal potential. Meanwhile, evil Prince Harmings are just as good-looking, rich and charismatic as Prince Charmings. A Prince Harming’s huge difference is the one spotted within his spotty character! Prince Harmings suffer from major character defects which create scenarios to torture and imprison a Princess. Meaning? Although you might feel as if you’re experiencing love at first sight with a Prince Harming, what you’re really experiencing is infatuation at first sight—because all you’re simply crushing on is this man’s superficial self, not his superinsidehim self.

Think about all those fabulous Prince Charmings in fairy tales. What makes a Prince Charming truly “Princely”? Prince Charmings are made of good strong character fiber! They’re noble, kind and generous with good deeds. Plus, they support

79

relationships

You know what’s funny? How we all know that embracing strong character values really does matter in life and love. Yet, our world mostly offers relationship tips like:

your guards—or even your panties. Yes, if you want to live happily ever after with a man, it’s essential you prioritize strong character values over strong biceps.


All of this leads me to a very important question: Do you really prefer to place a higher value on a guy’s superficial aspects (his sexiness, funniness, smartness, wealthiness) more than you value his superinsidehim self (his character, his soul)? If so, then there is a big danger you will wind up involved with a guy who’s rude, angry, dishonest, disloyal, hurtful, noncommunicative, unempathic and selfish! As a result, all of his inner bad qualities will make you feel unhappy, insecure, unsafe, frazzled, neurotic and totally crazy! All of this reminds me of a funny joke by Woody Allen: “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.” Okay. I admit it. I find this Woody quote funny as hell. But I am here to remind you: Your love life should not be your suffering life! (Oh…and Woody Allen’s also wrong about his cooking methods. Woody instructs: “Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.”) Reminder Time: The number one reason to spend time with a guy is that he makes you feel happier and he is improving your life. Not making you more unhappy, insecure, unsafe, or just plain frazzled!

80

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Another way to explain all this is to make the following confession… Confession Time: I used to look at a cute, funny, charismatic guy and think: “Yum, yum! I want him!” Now I know better. Now I look at loving, happy couples—watch the happy, healthy dynamic between the guy and girl— and think: “Yum, yum! I want that!” My Lesson/Your Lesson: True love is a that— not a him. Translation: True love is not a wish list but a “wish feeling.” And the number one feeling—even before the feeling of love—is the feeling of safety. Without feeling safe, you will never feel true love. You must have trust in your partner’s character and prioritize finding a partner who is honest, communicative, and empathic—someone who values growing— so you can feel safe to vulnerably be your truest core self with him—and then together the two of you can support o n e another to grow into your best possible selves. Karen Salmansohn is a best selling author and book packager with over 1 million books sold – known for creating a new breed of books – “self help for people who would never be caught dead reading self help.” Or: “self help books you can give as a gift — and not get slapped, because they look kinda cool.” Journalists call Salmansohn “Deepak Chopra Meets Carrie Bradshaw” because of how she merges empowering psychology/philosophy tips with edgy humor and stylish graphics. For wit and inspiration visit her at www.NotSalmon.com


CAREER/ BUSINESS

“Authenticity in Business is about bringing who you are at your core – your values, belie fs, passions and unique gifts – to life and to your business and sharing them in a way tha t resonates with your truth.”

Linda Joy

Authenticity

IN BUSINESS

Read Online!

BY Linda Joy You are meant to serve and connect with your audience and clients in a way that only you can – by being authentically you and allowing your business, products and services to reflect that. When you are connected to your authentic mission you are connected to the Source that fuels your soul, giving you the energetic drive and spark to move forward with ease and grace. You’ve experienced it! Those moments when you are truly creative and lose track of time and things just flow- you’re connected. Those moments when all the doors to amazing opportunities continue to open – you are connected. I call it ‘being in the divine flow” but whatever you may call it you’ll know it when you’re in it.

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

AspireMag.net

Live & Virtual

UPCOMING EVENTS

TRANSFORMATIONAL AUTHOR EXPERIENCE || DETAILS! Christine Kloser–Marianne Williamson–Linda Joy... THE FEMININE QUEST || DETAILS! Conversations for Women in Midlife INSPIRING WOMEN SUMMIT || DETAILS!

81


INSPIRED To

Write?

Write

to Feed Your Soul BY Lisa Tener

When I need some soul-nurturing, one of my favorite activities is to write. If the weather’s warm, I head outside and spread a blanket on the grass or pick a semishaded spot on the beach in summer. I need a journal or notebook—electronics won’t do for me! But use whatever works for you.

Here are some ideas of soul-nurturing activities to journal: Appreciation: I’m sure you’ve heard of the benefits of focusing on what you’re grateful for. Likely, you’ve experienced the power of gratitude yourself. Whenever we’re thankful, we’re in the moment, truly appreciating and enjoying life’s gifts. Here’s one way to journal on gratitude. Look around you. If you’re outdoors, start with nature. Are you grateful for the ocean or lake in front of you? The earth beneath you? Rather than making a list of things you’re grateful for, dive into one thing deeply: A blade of grass may conjure up gratitude for the beauty of its green color—and all that “green” means to you.

82

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013


You may appreciate the growth cycle and write in detail about the growth of that one blade of grass.

Connection: One way to nurture yourself is to nurture your connection with the Life. If it’s a sunny day, go outside and feel the warmth of the sun. Perhaps close your eyes and face the sun, noticing the colored light peeking through your eyelids. Meditate on the sun and feel its warmth. Imagine the sun’s light revitalizing every cell of your body—each atom and the spaces in between. Ah, how good and refreshing it feels!

Do you feel drawn to get together with one of the people you write about? Or do you feel like taking a walk to one of the places you wrote about (either a real walk or an imaginary visit in your mind)? Take one small action that comes out of this activity. Your Muse: If you’ve read this column for any length of time, you’ve probably seen me mention the muse before. Your muse is that part of you that supports creativity, insights, ideas— and your muse has access to wisdom beyond the usual time and space constraints of the conscious mind. Your muse may appear as a wise being, a totem animal, a symbol or just a felt sense of connection.

Here’s a short meditation to connect with your muse for self-care and soul-nurturance: • Sit in a chair, feet on the floor. • Close your eyes. • Experience the chair supporting your body • Bring your attention to your feet and feel the support of the floor—and the earth beneath that. • Notice your breath. • Now, imagine yourself walking a path in the woods to a building where your muse is waiting for you. • Walk the path, noticing what you see, hear, smell, feel and even taste. • Enter the building, go up the stairs, open the door and find your muse. • Ask your muse to show you how you can best nurture yourself right now. • Your muse may have a

83

Career/business

Notice how your blade of grass feels as you touch or rub it, how it smells. Breathe in your own appreciation for life as you smell the grass. Write about that. Does the smell remind you of a specific incidence in childhood? Write about that. Just one small gratitude can take you on a long and vitalizing journey. You’ll feel more alive and naturally more self-love.

Now, draw a circle in the center of your journal page and smaller circles all around, representing all the people, beings, places and things you feel connected to and that nurture you in some way. Write names or words in the circles for each of them. One by one, write about each connection and how it nourishes you.


gift for you. Receive the gift. • If you feel confused about the gift, you may ask your muse what it’s for or what it means. • When you feel complete, thank your muse and see yourself returning the way you came. • Open your eyes and write about your experience. Be sure to take time to write your answers afterwards. Some people go so deep they may not remember. If that’s you, have someone guide you through the visualization and talk you through it—where you provide answers and they record them as you go so you can listen later. These sessions can be very rich. You may even want to use an audio recording program to record your answers as you do this.

84

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

Of course, you can also just sit in a cozy corner or outdoors and write anytime, without an exercise. But if you ever feel in need of some extra support, these exercises will help the writing flow, and help you get in touch with the loving, nurturing instincts within you—and help you do loving things for yourself.

An award-winning authority on writing and publishing books, Lisa Tener guides you to joyfully express yourself in writing. She blogs for the Huffington Post, serves on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s publishing course, and teaches her own Award Winning Book Writing Courses in person and by interactive teleseminar. Download your free Author Tool Kit at www.LisaTener.com


Conscious Business Owners:

Is it Time for a

Raise? By Monica Shah

H

ow many times have you opened your bank account and seen nothing there? Every dollar that comes in seems to go out. You pay your assistants. You pay your team. You pay for supplies. You pay for client gifts. And at the end of the day, it can be quite saddening when there is nothing left for you. It makes you wonder why you started the business anyways and how you are ever going to retire or pay for something large in your life. The first step to creating more income in your bank account is to generate more revenue. The second is to pay yourself first. We’ll be going over both strategies in this article.

Generating More Revenue I get this question a lot, “Monica what’s the best and most effective marketing vehicle I can use to make money the fastest in my business?” Perhaps you are out there, scratching your head, thinking, what can I do to increase my cash flow this week? I have three suggestions for you that you can use literally roll out tomorrow to make some “fast” cash in your business. Put them in place quickly so that you can start to fill your wallet and your bank account. It will also make it easier to implement our next strategy on paying yourself first.

85


1. Do a Workshop or a Speaking

learned since you worked with them. Once a client has purchased from you once, they will be more than likely to purchase again.

In my opinion that FASTEST way to make immediate cash is to sign a new client into a program or package. And the FASTEST way to meet a client who is ready to sign up with you is to do a workshop or speaking event. You see workshops literally “pre-sell” potential clients. They are getting a taste of what you could offer them and a feel for your personality. It is by far the fastest way to get initial sessions with folks who are already primed to become your clients.

3. Do a two-for-one offer to

Event

The trick is that you need to make sure that you spend adequate time at the end of your presentation offering and explaining your services. For the average 60-90 minute workshop – plan to spend about 15 minutes. This is not some sleazy sales pitch. This is simply you really putting out there exactly what happens when clients work with you and how others can do the same. It is your RESPONSIBILITY to let people know this information. You wouldn’t want to leave them hanging now would you?

2. Offer a refresh to past clients Go back to your list of past clients. Offer them a refresh option. Perhaps they could do a one-day intensive with you or a 3-hour session (you could offer this virtually by just putting a few breaks in between). You could call it a “refresh and renew session” or a “back to the basics plan” or a “back on track day”. You could also offer your older clients a special price on new material you’ve

86

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

friends and family

My clients have had great success with this one. Look in your list of friends and family. Is there anyone there who would like to use your services but just doesn’t have the ability to pay? Make them “ambassadors”. Ask them to find one to four other folks that might be able to pay for the service. Once your ambassadors bring a friend or two on board, you can charge that person a full or discounted price. Your ambassador gets the service for free. You’ll determine an hour that works well for all of them and begin your service or program. If you don’t normally offer your service in groups, be creative on this one. Think of what you could offer that you could do in a group. If you are massage therapist, could you teach group massage? If you are a healer, could you teach meditation? If you are an accountant, could you teach a class on budgeting? Please note, I picked the three ways that anyone could do, even if you don’t have a huge list yet or you are still building your business. Once you have a more advanced business and a larger list, your options are endless. Now that you know how to generate more revenue, let’s talk about how to keep more of it in the bank.


Saving More Revenue: paying yourself first

Once you start paying yourself first, you’ll notice that you automatically start strategizing to make more money to be able to cover your own salary. It may take a few months, but it will happen if you create a plan and stick to it. If you are paying off debt, it still makes sense to pay yourself. You would just put some of the money towards your debt and some of it towards yourself.

If having the debt doesn’t bother you, then put more towards savings and some towards debt (until you’ve saved 6 months of living expenses). Focus on creating a business plan that has your revenue increasing. Also make sure that you manage the interest rates on your debt so that they are as low as possible. Once you start making more money, you can start paying yourself more. You salary will consist of: your personal expenses + savings + retirement savings. For example, say you need $4,000 for personal expenses (non-business expenses), $1,000 for liquid savings, and $1,000 for your retirement account. So your total salary is $6,000. Your business revenue comes into your business account. Then you might set up two payments to your personal account, one on the 2nd of the month for $3,000 and one on the 15th of the month for $3,000. That would cover your personal expenses and savings needs. Any income above $6,000 would stay in the business account to be ploughed back into the business and fuel expansion. At the end of the year, you could give yourself an extra personal bonus. Managing money this way makes sense for three reasons.

87

Career/business

To keep more money in the bank, pay yourself first.The way this works is that you decide a sum of money to pay yourself first every single month – before you pay any other bill or expense. It doesn’t have to be large. And it doesn’t have to be in one payment. For example, it can be $25 twice a month that automatically comes out of your business account and into your personal account.

If you are someone that would like to pay your debt off quickly, I suggest you contribute some money to your savings and more money towards your debt. You’ll sleep better at night knowing there is some money in the savings account.


FirsT, it is such an empowering feeling to open your bank account and see money in savings. It just gives you confidence that you are seeing the rewards of all your hard work in building your business.

SECOND,

it gives you something to work with when you are making personal spending decisions. Want a new pair of jeans? Is there room left in your salary for them this month? Many entrepreneurs find themselves feeling guilty for every personal purchase. This way, you’ll actually be able to spend your money without guilt and worry.

THIRD, it gives you money to plough

back into your company. Since some of your money stays in your business account, it helps to fuel business growth. Expanding businesses are money vampires, especially in the first couple of years. This way you don’t always have to find extra money for upcoming business expenses.

88

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

The underlying key to all of this is to have a plan for your business, so that you can keep paying yourself more and putting money back into your business. That is where sound revenue generating strategies and paying yourself both play a strong role in your business.

Monica Shah is the founder of Revenue Breakthrough which helps women create breakthroughs in their businesses so that they can live their ideal lifestyles. Monica was a brand manager at L’Oreal Paris, has an MBA from the Kellogg School of Management, and is business professor in New York City. Her philosophy is simple - she provides clear step-by-step systems to build six figure businesses and beyond. To get started earning, attracting and keeping more money in your business, check out Monica’s Money Magnet Tool Kit.


ALIGNING WITH FOR YOUR

Career/business

UNIVERSAL LAWS HIGHLY

Conscious Business By Jennifer Longmore

O

ver the last several years that I have been in business as a conscious entrepreneur, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve learned that everything is energy, including business. There is a divine energy that moves through you AND your business, and when you learn how to activate it, channel it, and accelerate it, particularly in your business, it will create results beyond your wildest imagination. Imagine for a moment what might happen with your business when your personal energy is deeply rooted in fear, doubt and worry. Perhaps you feel like youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re swimming in molasses trying to make things happen. Or, perhaps you are not attracting the level (or type) of business you would like.

89


Now, imagine for a moment that you are joyful about what you are offering, you love what you do and who you serve, and you start each day with excitement and anticipation of all of the good things that are ready and waiting to come your way. Perhaps you attract an abundance of ideal opportunities, invitations, clients, and wealth on all levels. Perhaps you receive free press about how great your business is or an abundance of referrals. As a divine being of lightlove, you have everything that you need and access to all that created you (and all that you are a part of). From this space of awareness then, you are able to see that you can access Source energy directly. This is where all truth resides; it is the 7th plane of existence. You truly are a multidimensional being. It is your divine birthright to access infinite love, light, abundance and so much more. Breathe that in! Just below the 7th plane, is the 6th plane of existence.

90

This is where Universal Laws reside, your higher consciousness, higher councils and much more. These are the energies that support us in moving through the universe in a highly-conscious way (if we so choose). This space aligns us to the powerful partners and energies that support our existence in the universe. As you can see, when we are working with Universal Laws, we are in the same energetic space as our higher self and vice versa. We are already aligned.

more. Where are you longing for more abundance in your life?

Here are 6 of the Universal Laws to consider aligning with to create your highly conscious business:

The Law of Economy

The Law of Abundance When we create images of abundance in our lives, we attract this energy into our reality. Abundance does not only apply to money. We also long for an abundance of love, relationships, peace, harmony, opportunities, faith, success and much

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

The Law of Action God works with us, not for us! We can be extremely gifted, talented, compassionate, deserving and so on, yet only action will materialize our wishes. Being a passive participant in our lives allows us to watch our life like a movie, whereas being an active participant allows us to star in the leading role. Which role do you choose?

This law governs energy (matter) and energy always follows the line of least resistance. When we try to make things happen that are not in our highest good or the highest good of all, those actions are met with resistance (the Law of Economy). Spending energy trying to overcome resistance and universal laws as we attempt to manifest is wasted energy that could be spent where there is flow and receptivity. The more energy we save, the more we have to spend on things that truly matter.


Where do you need to shift the focus of your energy?

The Law of Intention

The Law of Manifestation When we think, visualize, and speak what we wish to manifest, as though it is already happening in our lives, we activate this law. Our manifestations need to be positively focused, emphasizing what we want to create, rather than what we do not want to create. What do you wish to create in your life today?

So, imagine for a moment, how much energy it must take for us to work against the flow of this plane. Imagine for a moment what power awaits you if you can give yourself permission to step into partnership with the very energies that are aligned to support you.

The Law of three requests When we repeat what we are requesting of the

91

Career/business

Energy always follows intent. When we perform an act of kindness and our intention is to be recognized for our goodness, or we have a hidden agenda, we will not be rewarded through the universal Law of Grace. Intention and effort must be aligned in order to successfully manifest. When we intend to generate more money in our lives, and we reduce our spending on nonessentials and become more responsible with our money, we create more money. More importantly, when we demonstrate that we can handle more, the universe gives us more. This is the Law of Intention. How can you improve the intentions that you are setting in your life?

universe three times, it activates the universal power of three and brings a stronger energy to what we intend to manifest. Often this accelerates this speed in which we attract what we have been requesting. How can you incorporate this law in your manifestation techniques? Successful manifestation occurs when these laws are present in our lives, so understanding and working with these laws is the first step. Ultimately, successful manifestation of anything is dependent upon: making a conscious choice of what we want; ensuring that we are wishing for what we truly want; seeing, speaking, and write our manifestations; giving thanks as though it has already happened; and, letting go and letting God, knowing that the universe will always bring us what is most appropriate and in our highest good and growth.


Creating this alignment takes little time and effort. Here is how to create your connection:

1 2

Affirm that you are willing to partner with Universal Laws Choose the Universal Law that you wish to partner with in the moment (for this article we will work with the Universal Law of Abundance)

3

SET the intention that you are aligning and harmonizing with the wisdom of this law(for example) through all dimensions, spaces, times, levels of consciousness in the NOW in the most joyous, easy way and that the results are even greater than you could have hoped for imagined.

4 5

You will accept all that you have created up until now from a place of compassionate detachment, integrate the learnings and transform it into wisdom.You will step into an infinite awareness that you are deeply connected to all that is, realize your fullest abundant potential, and open your energy field for divine downloads (inspiration) and the people, experiences and energies needed to receive and live your most joyous and abundant life. You will be actively in conversation with your etheric forms of support, including Source, fully expressing your needs and desires and transforming into an attraction magnet for all that you desire. Using these steps to align with each of these Universal Laws will allow you to achieve quantum leaps in your highly conscious business and experience success and prosperity beyond what you could have even imagined.

Breathe that in. Jennifer Longmore, North America’s Soul Purpose Expert,

Believe it to be so.

internationally acclaimed host of “Soul Purpose Central,” and best selling author, is world-renowned for her laser like clarity in

So, imagine what will release from your life and what will enter once you create this partnership with the Universal Law of Abundance (for example).

seeing into the depths of your soul and bridging your connection

If you are aligned with this law, you will release blame, shame, guilt, judgment and step into compassionate detachment with yourself and others.

you, in permanently shifting the limiting beliefs and patterns that

92

www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2013

to universal consciousness. She is a leading expert on Akashic Records and has served thousands of soul’s as founder of the Soul Journeys® School for Akashic Studies and the Soul Journeys® Method. For more than 15 years, she has served clients, just like prevent you from being who you really are so that you can live your most abundant, aligned, and accelerated soul’s journey. www. SoulJourneys.ca

Aspire Magazine - April/May 2013 - Self-Care for a Woman's Soul  

Self-Care for a Woman's Soul - Learn how to cope with the stressors of life with a sense of ease and grace. Life is busy, but when you learn...

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you