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Volume 106, Issue 13 | December 1, 2011

MSU’s Student Newspaper since 1895

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THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011

Bozeman Gone Wild JOSH MAZZONI In most cities, there are two ways to see bears: at the zoo or on a hike outside of town. At this point in the year, Bozeman seems to be an exception. Since early October, nine black bears have been reported in Bozeman, searching for food as winter approaches. “These bears are in hyperphagia at this time. All they’re thinking about is food,” saidKevin Frey, a Grizzly Bear Specialist for Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks. Hyperphagia is a period when bears eat larger than normal quantities of food in order to prepare for hibernation. However, bears do not normally attack humans, for food or otherwise. Black bears are omnivores — animals that feed on both plants and animals — and their diet typically consists of green vegetation, ants and larvae. Frey said black bears only attack humans when they are caught off guard. They are normally non-confrontational, especially in the city.

“They are wild animals and they are dangerous,” said Mark Lachapelle, the Assistant Chief of University Police. “But if you don’t bother them they will make their way back to the forest without causing any

Since early October nine black bears have inhabited Bozeman in search of food for the winter. problems.” Frey said that if residents encounter a bear in the city, composure is imperative. “Be calm and methodical in your behavior and

walk away.” Once out of the bear’s way, one should call either University Police or the Bozeman Police to inform them of where the bear is, what direction it is heading and how it is acting. Assistant Chief Lachapelle stressed that one should remain a safe distance from the bear. Bear encounters can be avoided by waiting to put garbage out until the morning of pick-up and storing food attractants like pet food behind a secure door. Also, fruit from trees should be cleaned up. “Prevention is the best course of action,” Lachapelle said. “Don’t create a situation that will attract the bear to your home or to campus.” In the event that a bear does find its way onto campus, “Do not approach the bear, feed it or antagonize it,” said Tyler Fagenstrom, the Langford Residence Director. “Get in the residence hall, but don’t let the bear inside.” ILLUSTRATIONS BY DANNY MECCA & GARRETT SMITH

THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011



Bozeman Recognizes Researchers Observe ‘World AIDS Day’ Light with Satellite KATIE CHAMBERS

Thirty years after the disease first came to attention in the U.S., today Bozeman will today partake in a celebration of “World AIDS Day”. World AIDS day, an occasion first commemorated in 1981, is aimed at raising an international awareness about the virus to encourage citizens to move past the stigmatization of its victims. “It’s obviously well past the time when most students were born into an age of AIDS,” said Betsey Danforth, the director of the Women’s Center at MSU. “I think it’s important for students to know that this is not only a personal issue and something they need to be aware of in their lives a sexual human beings, but in their lives as people of the world, where it’s an enormous problem.” To help raise this awareness, The Women’s Center sponsored the Sack-Lunch Seminar “30 Years of AIDS” on campus

Wednesday, where a health-educator from Bridger Health Care gave a historical and informative presentation about the disease. “One of the things we talked about is that it’s not just a homosexual disease,” attendee Hillary Robison said. “We need to move on and see what we can do about it instead of weighing it down with judgment.” Along with the presentation of statistics, the seminar also featured guest speakers of the Bozeman community who shared their stories of the personal effects of AIDS. “Relationships, stories, and events in our lives can bring us to a place of better understanding,” said speaker Roxanne Klingensmith, “an understanding that the people who have been infected with AIDS worldwide are still people. We are one.” In remembrance of the victims of AIDS over the last 30 years, a candlelight vigil will be held at 6 p.m. at Christus Collegium for those interested in more information of the impacts of the disease on our society.

REBEKAH MOHR MSU researchers are using a small satellite to study data from the sun with the hope to develop solar flare-proof technology. The Multi-Order Solar Extreme Ultraviolet Spectrograph (MOSES) studies extreme ultraviolet to near-infrared waves of light to better understand what is happening on the sun. “It’s important to understand what the sun does so that we can predict space weather” Dr. Charles Kankelborg, an associate professor at MSU, said. Kankelborg hopes that the MOSES project will help researchers understand and predict space weather like radiation-laden solar flares. MOSES is collecting data that will give insight on predicting solar flares’ activity. Solar flares can wreck havoc on satellites, power grids and most technology. MSU researchers want to understanding how these flares work in order to better

protect technology from their radiation. The MOSES rocket, measuring 10 feet long by 20 inches wide, was first launched on Feb. 8, 2006 at the White Sands Missile base in New Mexico. It is part of a small rocket launch program hosted by NASA. These smaller rockets have an advantage over traditional satellites because they are much cheaper.. MOSES cost about $1 millionl whereas NASA Satellites average $100 million. Because MOSES is cheaper than traditional satellites, there is more room for risky, innovative research projects. However, the rocket is limited because it only has five minutes in space to collect data. The solar research team at MSU has been studying all the data that MOSES collected in its five minute mission. They hope to launch a mission as soon as next summer, a goal that may be pushed back until 2013 due to limited space in NASA’s Sounding Rocket Program.

Local Mountaineers Follow Forgotten Scientist’s Path KRISTEN INGMAN Michael Reidy and Dennis Dueñas spoke about their investigations into the life and research of John Tyndall, a neglected mountaineer and scientist, to students and community members gathered at the Hager Auditorium of the Museum of the Rockies last evening. Their presentation “How Mountaineering Changed Science,” was sponsored by the Department of History, Philosophy and Religious Studies, and was intended to rectify Tyndall’s 21st century accidental anonymity. Inspired by Tyndall’s role in the scientific community and his identity as a mountaineering scientist, Michael Reidy, an associate professor of history, philosophy and religious studies, made the decision to travel to the Swiss Alps and follow Tyndall’s path. Beginning in the late 1850s, Tyndall, who Reidy refers to as the “flag carrier of science,” published information on how carbon dioxide’s presence in the atmosphere would change the planet’s climate. In 1861, he climbed Weissenhorn in the Alps, and later

spent 20 hours at the summit of Mont Blanc collecting environmental data. Because his wife never published his correspondence and research after his death, Tyndall became a forgotten name. However, MSU is one of 12 universities involved with the Tyndall Correspondence Project, an effort to gather, transcribe and publish Tyndall’s letters. Often embodying the role of J.J. Bennen, Tyndall’s guide, Dennis Dueñas, a photographer and alpaca farmer, joined Reidy on a trek to follow Tyndall’s journey up Weissenhorn. “We wanted to really experience what Tyndall had to go through,” said Dueñas. “We were always thinking of [him].” Through Adventurers and Scientists, a Bozeman-based program that matches climbers with scientists who are doing research, Reidy and Dueñas were able to complete Tyndall’s climb of Weissenhorn while doing scientific research much like he would have done. “He really did mix his mountaineering and science,” said Reidy. “The history of mountaineering is infused with culture.”

Michael Reidy and Dennis Dueñas climbed to the top of Weissenhorn in the Alps. IMAGE COURTESY MSU DEPT. OF HISTORY AND PHILOSOPHY



THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011


COLLEGIATE 4-H: CULTIVATING YOUNGER MEMBERS Justin Stilson grew up in 4-H. He spent 11 years near his Lewistown home learning the ideals of the program that focused on head, heart, hands and health. He concentrated on photography and swine. When he came to college though, he thought he would have to give it up. But, he discovered the Montana State Collegiate 4-H. Members of the collegiate 4-H mentor younger members, instead of taking projects themselves. “We are here to serve [the younger members],” said Stilson, who is now the president of the club and has revived it from the small lull it has been in for the past few years. The traditional 4-H program is for kids ages 9-19. It promotes hands-on learning and offers a variety of fun, interesting classes that encourage skill building, community involvement, responsibility and leadership. However, in the collegiate program, members have a different role. Instead of taking classes on sewing or forestry, the club members aim to teach and support young members of 4-H. They facilitate workshops, host events and spread the 4-H name.

These workshops are designed to teach kids valuable lessons and life skills. For example, one recent workshop taught kids how to run a business meeting. The workshops also incorporate games and exercises to promote teamwork and leadership. “As the older members, it is up to us to help the younger members become better leaders. We don’t take projects like the younger 4-H’ers do,” Stilson explained. “We are just an organization to help them with that stuff.” The club works in collaboration with the state’s 4-H center to put on the workshops and events. There are many resources available for the club and anyone is welcome to join. “You don’t need any 4-H experience to do this. It is diverse, very fun and open to anyone,” Stilson said. The 4-H club meets at 5:30 p.m. on the first and third Monday of every month in the Taylor Hall Conference Room. The advisor, Cody Stone, can be reached by email at


Lecture Attempts to Make Sense of Sustainability COLIN GAISER Rob Abbott, a Canadian environmental consultant, writer and speaker, presented his lecture “Making Sense of Sustainability” at the Museum of the Rockies on Nov. 17 as part of MSU’s Green Week celebration. Abbott’s focus of the evening revolved around how to become truly sustainable in modern society. Capitalism incites a need to create wealth, he explained, and society’s ability to do this within nature’s limits is increasingly in question. “We don’t value financially the environmental and social damage we’re doing,” Abbott said. As a result, every living system on earth is experiencing a decline—and the rate of decline is accelerating, he added. Abbott grew up in British Columbia near a large pulp mill and witnessed the conflict between the economy and the environment first-hand. The local government would consistently refer to the stench from the pulp mill as the “smell of money,” he said. This is a hallmark of what Abbott called the “industrial age economy,” during which “we have eroded most of our natural capital.” Throughout the lecture, Abbott reinforced that people need to fundamentally change the way they live, work and play. “We are removed from nature,” he said. “We consume, going through our days on a quest for ease, comfort and convenience.” Now we are at a tipping point, and choices must be made over the next few years in order to initiate a 40-year shift in societal behaviors that favor sustainability, Abbott said. Otherwise, it might become too late to reverse the negative effects of global climate change. “We need to reframe the discussion,” Abbott said, “And acknowledge that we have less natural resources.” He emphasized that individual households have a responsibility to change their “personal trajectory” towards sustainability, and that companies can use sustainability efforts as a means of cultivating a positive reputation for their business. “Sustainability is not a problem to be solved,” Abbott said. “It is a future to be created.”

THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011


editor | Brent Zundel


Poor Maternity Leave Policy Puts Professors, Students in Tough Position MSU has what some might call a very “flexible” maternity (and paternity) leave policy for its professors. Others might call it a nonexistent policy. There has never Virginia Schmidt been any official univerOPINION WRITER sity-wide system or procedure that dictates how maternity leave will play out for MSU professors. The new Associated Faculty of Montana State University union’s list of principles does vaguely mention “family leave and sabbatical leave benefits” as something they “commit to bargain for,” but it provides no specifics on the issue. There can be benefits to flexibility. Dr. Sara Rushing, who addresses family need accommodation issues for students, faculty and staff as MSU’s new University Family Advocate, points out that for maternity leave issues at MSU, “it is all person to person, but flexibility can be good because it allows people to construct a solution that is good for them in their department.” But there are also detriments to flexibility. “It’s a problem when people fall through the cracks under the auspices of flexibility,” Rushing said. In the case of this semester’s STAT 332: Statistics for Scientists and Engineers class taught by adjunct professor Dr. Christina Hayes, the students might have been the ones who felt as though they had fallen

through the cracks. Hayes, a seasoned MSU adjunct professor who had a baby in August, worked with Math Department Head Ken Bowers to figure out how she would handle her teaching course load in the fall after her delivery. Although Hayes felt fortunate to have a close enough relationship with her department head to discuss and plan through her situation, she fears it might not be like this in other departments as there is no set precedent on how to accommodate expecting faculty. Some of her friends even advised her not to

“Family life shouldn’t be seen as a burden on the university.” - Dr. Sara Rushing, University Family Advocate at MSU

tell her department head of her pregnancy, because she might risk losing her job since adjunct faculty are hired year to year. Because the math department is “literally given no funds to hire substitutes” for adjunct maternity leave according to Hayes, she says she “had to go out and beg friends”

to teach her three classes this fall. Students in her STAT 332 class went through six different substitutes over the course of Hayes’ absence, and although Hayes posted detailed lecture and solution notes online, many students felt the substitutes did not teach by her notes and that it took weeks to receive feedback on quizzes. Adjunct and tenured faculty at MSU are treated differently in cases of maternity leave, as tenured faculty will often have one of their classes “bought out” so a substitute professor is paid to completely cover their class. The College of Letters and Sciences does this for tenured faculty. However, Rushing emphasizes that the “university relies on adjuncts” and that there needs to be a better and more consistent policy for all members of the MSU community: faculty, staff and students. Rushing says MSU is “a bit behind the national curve in terms of family and work life balance,” and that if progress is to take place in order to “not just keep excellent professors but to recruit new ones” then “the

university needs to show support for family and work life dollars through funding for programs to this end. Under the new leadership of President Cruzado and Provost Potvin, this is beginning to happen.” It’s clear that MSU has a long way to go in terms of managing its maternity leave policies, but the new Family Advocate position which Rushing fills seems to be a step forward. “Things were not going well and then the Family Advocate got involved and everyone was happy with the outcome,” Rushing says. Rushing wishes to facilitate “having these conversations appropriately ... it needs to be ‘Congratulations’ [on your new child], here’s your information packet, read it, then come back and see me. ... Family life shouldn’t be seen as a burden on the university.” Every member of the MSU community would benefit from a consistent maternity leave policy that would indicate the university sees professor, student and faculty wellbeing as paramount. Funds in this direction will provide the proof that MSU doesn’t want anyone else falling through the cracks. Editor’s Note: In November, MSU applied for the NSF ADVANCE Institutional Transformation Grant, which would aim to change the climate for women professors in science and math fields, and might ultimately improve the whole university climate for women. MSU will find out if it received this competitive grant sometime in May of 2012.


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Lessons from the Small and Large Businesses Middle of Nowhere Benefit Economy Sometimes it’s hard to believe that college cities and rural towns in Montana are actually in the same state. Think of the diverse, free-spirited (or hippie) environments of Patrick Hessman Bozeman or Missoula OPINION WRITER versus the small town, hard work-valuing morals of [insert tiny town you’ve never heard of here]. When I drove home for Thanksgiving, I felt like somewhere between Columbus and Billings I crossed a state line. Despite what some may believe based on my articles, I am indeed an in-state tuition-paying Montanan. Not just a city kid, either – I grew up on a ranchette 18 miles from a 500-person ranch town in the middle of nowhere: Broadus, Montana. Or, as my mother put it, “Not the end of the Earth, but you can damn sure see it from here.” There is no denying it’s a different world out there. In Class B schools, graduating classes rarely top 50 students. Some kids drive a half hour to bus stops just to ride the bus another hour to school. Going to the grocery store is a social occasion for many because it’s the only time they go into town that week. If you love texting, forget it. There’s zero service 25 miles down a dirt road. Three feet of snow won’t close schools – only complete power outages will. Wal-Mart, the ultimate benchmark of society, is nowhere to be seen. Then there’s the ranch life itself. Livestock have to be checked every day; mud, snow, or minus 50 degree weather be

damned. Then there’s pulling calves or lambs in the dead of winter, sticking your hands straight into the mother’s … you get the idea. That leads to a night in the barn pumping them full of drench and penicillin when most die anyway. The calves that survive repay you with hoof shots to the groin during brandings. Topping it all off are the radio stations: only country and, strangely, Christian pop. Thank God for iPod FM transmitters. At times, I ask myself what kind of insane people would choose this life for themselves. Then I realize exactly who: my ancestors. The maternal side of my family ventured West to Montana in 1909 on the coattails of the Enlarged Homestead Act to establish a ranch on the land they still run to this day. They might have been crazy for venturing out into Montana territory, but they survived. They fought with a spirit that built Emmons Ranch into one of the most successful ranching operations in Eastern Montana. Strange as some of the things they do may be, the rural folk of Montana have lessons to teach us all. To make it through the s---storms described above, it takes insanity but also spirit. You need both. The world has been changed by people who were crazy enough to challenge it and had the drive to follow through. To all of those who have ever been kicked in the jaw by a horse or accidentally burned by branding irons all just to ensure the day’s work gets done: You’re an inspiration to us all.

As the Black Friday craziness dies down, local businesses are encouraging Bozeman residents to shop local, even taking part in a “Small Business Saturday” event that happened Alicia Exley several days ago. As OPINION WRITER someone who regards shopping as serious business and a main pastime, my relationship with local businesses is definitely love-hate. I love small businesses because most are locally owned, and the taxes they pay help fund things in our community. Their products are usually of a higher quality and many of them donate to local charities. Many of them also ensure their products are produced in humane conditions and don’t usually have the environmental impacts of chain stores. However, there are aspects of local stores that frustrate. The driving force that usually results in me shopping at Wal-Mart is prices. As much as I like to support local stores, on a part-time college kid income, many times shopping locally (especially for non-food items) is nearly impossible. And I’m not alone. The per-capita income in Bozeman is around $23,000 a year. While it is seen as a wealthy ski town, only 1 percent of Bozeman’s population makes an annual income over $200,000. That means that the leather boots, cashmere sweaters and silk scarves sitting in the windows of many a local shop, however well-made, are not affordable for most Bozeman citizens.

Another reason people choose to buy local is because they believe local stores pump money back into the local economy. This is definitely true. However, chain stores also help the local economy by employing hundreds of people. There was a huge backlash when Kohl’s moved in, but they have since hired over 100 people. Target also employs 100 - 200 people. Wal-Mart employs approximately 400. The money these employees make is also cycled through the local economy through taxes, rent, etc. The bottom line is that both small and large businesses bring jobs and money to our community. If you prefer to shop locally and can afford to do it, that’s great. If you can’t

The bottom line is that both small and large businesses bring jobs and money to our community. and often find yourself at Wal-Mart (like myself ), no one has the right to make you feel guilty about it. In America, we have the great freedom to choose where we want to spend our money. Make your choices wisely and without shame.

THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011


Short, punchy articles railing against the myriad injustices of campus life. Have something to rant on? Contact us at Just keep submissions 200-300 words. And please, try to refrain from personal attacks.

You Kno w


g Vegeta


Ryan Bovy

Pat Hessman

You know what really crosses my eyes? 3D. The first time I saw a 3D movie, I was on a date – real original, I know. From this single experience, I can draw several points of hating 3D: They are expensive, poorly made and those stupid glasses do not allow for proper cuddling. Watching anything in 3D will give you a headache. The technology is not yet sound enough to prevent migraines, and that to me is not worth an extra $3.50. If I wanted a headache, I would drink a bottle of red wine and watch the Discovery Channel an hour later. Even worse than 3D movies are 3D TVs. “Hey, c’mon over to my house and

Sure, there is a positive side: The glasses oblige cuddling. When I’m watching football with my boys it sucks, but when you (ladies … ) want to watch “The Notebook” in 3D, for some odd reason, I will definitely take the opportunity to snuggle close. Basically, if you start crying on my shoulder, it hurts. The glasses just dig into the bone, and I hold back tears from the pain (not the tragic love story). And when you hear my sobs and peek up at me for a kiss, it is impossible to not hit 3D glasses and kill the moment. Moral of the story, there has been one thing that I have seen in 3D that I didn’t regret: the movie “UP!” The simple

we will sit uncomfortably close together while we watch the football game in some stupid glasses that deter from our conversation.” I say, “No thanks, bro-muchacho.”

reason that 3D did not ruin this film is because this movie was impossible to messup. If you hated “UP!,” then you cross my eyes as well.

You know what overuses my sentence structure? How many animals I’m becoming obliged to eat. As an avid carnivore, I’m a staunch supporter of Adopta-Vegetarian. The program is simple: You pick a vegetarian and vow to eat two animals for every one they won’t eat. The food chain has to be kept intact after all; humans didn’t spend 400,000 years conquering this planet to become herbivores.

rians Problem is, I’m adopting too many. I can’t in good consciousness leave any vegetarian unadopted. They’re everywhere, though. I simply can’t eat this many animals. If I keep this up, I’m going to have to consume an entire cow daily. My fellow carnivores, I implore you to join me on this endeavor. We have to band together to keep humans at the top of the food chain.

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elcome to the Dead Week centerfold. Within this illustration lies fantastical figures from MSU and Montana culture, as well as some random characters added in for funsies. See if you can spot such famous faces as President Cruzado, Biff the Bobcat, Ted Turner, Brad Pitt’s character from A River Runs Through It, Jesus, our student body president, Champ, and many more!

Welcome to

DeaD Week. Giant Illustration by Tammi Heneveld!




editor | Heather Kruger

Get Your Sled On SAM ROLOFF

Say goodbye (hopefully) to that warm weather, because it’s sledding season. At places like Peets Hill, there’s no better way to mindlessly enjoy your wintery Bozeman evenings than downing hot chocolate while simultaneously careening down a snowcovered hill without any control whatsoever. Just let go: don’t worry — you’ll be fine. Sledding is a tradition that can be traced back 128 years, across the Atlantic Ocean to a little place called Switzerland. In the 1880s, there was a man who knew no fear. His name was


George Robertson, his creed: out-sledding international competitors. Your name may not be George, and you may not be competing on an international level, but you can certainly have a great time with your best buds with a sled in tow. Below are a few different techniques to ensure a successful sledding experience:

Just let go: don’t worry — you’ll be fine. Face First — Always a rush, and a bit more risky than your standard feet-first approach, this technique allows you to see the snow as it flies in your face. In the event you find yourself doing 360s, just close your eyes to avoid nausea and prepare for impact. Feet First – The classic: Make sure to relax your body to promote a maximum amount of graceful flailing post-launch and pre-impact. If spinning ensues, see “face first” approach. Tandem — A good way to grab that special lady or fellow and hold her tight, or a great way to coax a leery sledder down the mountain. Just decide who steers beforehand, (if anyone steers at all). The George Robertson – Grab a pair of your pappy’s knickerbockers, an old wooden sled (called a Davoser), fly to Switzerland and show those in the international community just how we sled here in Bozeman (all while yodeling, of course).

THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011

Badass of the Week

These students might not be on the field or court, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t involved in an equally athletic endeavor. This column is meant to highlight students who are not a part of varsity athletics at MSU who are doing amazing things with their time outside of the classroom. Name: Petra Davis Hometown: Anchorage, Alaska Major: Exercise Science Occupation: Spinning Instructor at Elevate Cycling Hobbies: Mountain biking (especially endurance races), Alpine and Nordic skiing, hanging out in coffee shops, shopping, snowshoeing and snowbiking — it’s the hot new thing. Why did you move to Montana? I wanted to go to school in Bozeman because the culture and climate are incredible. It has warm falls and mild winters and is a cute town with many active people and things to do. It seemed like a perfect fit. As a student at MSU, Davis is getting her undergraduate degree in exercise science. This combines her passion of mountain biking with physical therapy. Although Davis isn’t 100 percent sure whether she would like to do it the rest of her life, attaining a degree in exercise science is important because of her love for riding bikes. Currently working as a spinning instructor at Elevate Cycling, Davis pursues all things mountain biking. Davis is also a youth mountain biking coach and loves the thrill of coaching and

What is a day you will never forget? One day while coaching a close friend, the young girl told me how I made a difference in her riding, saying, “Coach Petra, I want to be just like you.” I will never forget that experience. I’m sure she doesn’t realize, but those words made a lasting impression, especially considering how talented the young athlete is. If you could do anything for a day, what would it be? Riding in New Zealand. It’s exotic; it’s mountain biking. It sounds perfect.

improving the skill sets of young bikers. Helping kids share the thrill of mountain biking is what Davis considers “absolutely one of my favorite parts of riding.” Growing up in Alaska, Davis’ love for the outdoors was instilled very early in life. As an 11-year-old girl, Davis and her three girlfriends, “The Pedaling Pixies,” competed in a 24-hour endurance race. Currently, Davis races for an endurance team, Team Kaladi. For Davis, the camaraderie and sense of accomplishment achieved by competing in an endurance race outweighs the pain.


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Do you have an inspirational person or quote? “You’re never a loser until you quit trying” — Mike Ditka

Name: Stuart Brown Hometown: Anchorage, Alaska Major: Mechanical Engineering Year in School: Senior How long involved in hockey: 15 years Position: Goalie

Do you have any other hobbies/activities/ interests? Golfing, mountain biking and skiing when I don’t have hockey.

Why did you start playing? Hockey is one of the major sports in Alaska. I saw it on TV and wanted to try it. I’ve stuck with it ever since.

Why did you come to Montana State? It has a great engineering program and Montana is a lot like Alaska with the mountains and snow.

What is your favorite thing about hockey? It is a fast-paced sport with lots of action. What is your motivation before a competition? I put music on and visualize stopping pucks and making saves. I am also superstitious, so I do a routine before every game to be ready.

What is your favorite class at MSU, and why? Capstone design — I get to design, build and drive a race car. Is there anything else you would like to tell students/readers about hockey? Come out and support us. Come to the home games, they’re a lot of fun. We have the best fans in the league. –MICHELLE THOMAS


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What’s a good way to sweat out all of that turkey, pumpkin pie, and stuffing? Snowshoeing with ASMSU’s Outdoor Rec. This past weekend, they took an outing to Bridger Bowl with nine students. When most people think of Bridger Bowl, they think of the hot local ski spot. But Bridger has quite a nice area for snowshoeing. It’s not a long drive, and there are some pretty amazing views. Rick Dendinger, a participant, signed up because he had such a good time last year on the snowshoeing trip to Triple Tree. He described this year’s trip as “Awesome. We had gorgeous weather and beautiful views of the Bridgers.” He said, “We got good exercise and I met some new and interesting people. Not bad for a day’s work.” He told a story about a few participants who tried to slide down a slope on plastic bags. “I don’t know who had more fun: those of us who laughed at them or the ‘sliders’ themselves!” Dendinger said. Outdoor Rec’s trips often involve shenanigans like this, whether it’s an impromptu sledding session

or an out-of-the-blue snowball fight. Benjamin Williams, a transfer student from Missouri, signed up because his sister was in town and he thought it’d be a good way to have fun, see the sights and not spend a lot of money. “Soon after we started the hike, my sister was having trouble breathing. I realized she was not used to the altitude, but she persevered and got through it.” Williams said. He said the experience was awesome and he has already signed up for the next trip. Outdoor Rec has one outing left in the semester coming up this weekend. They are taking a trip to Yellowstone park to crosscountry ski. As Dendinger said, “I have gone on many trips with ORC and they are the nicest, most accommodating people on campus. If people don’t know about them, then they need to talk to them. It is the best deal in town as far as I outdoor recreation is concerned.” If you’re looking for a deal that accommodates, check it out. For more information call (406) 994-3621 or visit www.montana. edu/outdoorrecreation.

A woman called police hoping they could help her find her husband, who had likely joined the carnival.

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Chorale Presents 46th Annual Madrigal Dinner VANESSA NAIVE Transport back to the times of gypsies and kings when the MSU Chorale presents its 46th Annual “Madrigal Dinner” this weekend. On Dec. 3 and 4, the MSU SUB Ballrooms will be transformed from empty linoleum floors to great baronial halls to celebrate the upcoming holidays. A madrigal, meaning “in the mother tongue”, is an Italian term used in the 14th century to refer to compositions for vocal ensembles with secular texts. These modern day “Madrigal Dinners” hearken back to those times, when the feasts were accompanied by singers and performers dressed in period costumes. Paul Birkeland, director of MSU Catering, and his crew will prepare a menu featuring traditional pork loin, as well as a vegetarian option, followed by traditional English fig pudding. “This is a very challenging performance for the singers,” said Kirk Aamot, director of the MSU Chorale. “There is a good deal of movement, many instruments involved and a lot of music to memorize.”

Upcoming performances include Igor Stravinsky’s Les Noces in March, as well as a tour to Vienna, Prague, and Berlin in May. Tickets are $35, and may be purchased at the Bobcat Ticket Office in the Brick Breeden Fieldhouse Monday through Fri-

These modern day “Madrigal Dinners” hearken back to the Rennaisance, when the feasts were accompanied by singers and performers dressed in period costumes.

day, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Free parking for ticket buyers is provided in the lot directly below the ticket office. Tickets may also be purchased over the phone (406-994-2287) or online at (search “madrigal

dinner”); a convenience fee is required for purchase made online or over the phone. The dinner will also be held at the Gallatin Gateway Inn on Friday, Dec. 2 and at Bucks T-4 in Big Sky on Monday, Dec. 5. Tickets for the Dec. 2 performance may be purchased by calling the inn, 406-763-4672. Tickets for the Monday night performance in Big Sky are available from the Big Sky Association for the Arts, 406-995-2742. ILLUSTRATION BY PIERCE WARE & DANYELLE MOORE

Procrastinator Comedy Night Open for Auditions ASHLEY PIPER Interested in trying out your latest stand-up set in front of a live audience? Or, perhaps you are more of a comedy connoisseur? The Procrastinator Theater will soon be showcasing the perfect thing for you. Starting next semester, every Tuesday before the 9 p.m. show, the Procrastinator Theater will host a local comedian to perform his or her own 15-minute set. “There are a lot of great comedians here, and not many venues for them to perform,” ASMSU Films Chair Fallon Walker said, adding “I know first hand how hard it is to find a venue.” Walker relates because she is a comedian. The innovative thing about the coming Comedy Night is that it will showcase the local comedic talent of MSU students. While many students attend football games or the

like, the Procrastinator Comedy Night will give students a “different way to be involved,” Walker said. So if you are interested in auditioning and performing, how should you prepare? “First things first, you’ve got to be funny. It’s [the performer] and a microphone,” Fallon said. Another tip: have 15 minutes of standup prepared, so you’ll have enough time for the real deal. “We want them to look good, too,” Fallon added. Comedy Night is not only for stand-up comedians. ASMSU Films encourages auditions from improv groups and sketch comedy groups as well. The purpose of Comedy Night is to provide a venue for student comedians to flourish because there is talent is out there — besides, who doesn’t love a good laugh? If you are interested, you can either send in a video of yourself or comedy group

THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011

performing, or you can set up an audition with Fallon Walker. For either audition pref-

“There are a lot of great comedians here, and not many venues for them to perform.“ -Fallon Walker, ASMSU Films erences, contact They are scheduling performances right now and throughout the semester, so send in an audition tape or set up an audition today if you think you’ve got what it takes!


Flowers in the Attic Over Thanksgiving break, I decided to read an old book I found on the back of a bookshelf. Published in 1979, “Flowers in the Attic” by V.C. Andrews was not what I expected. The book is told from the perspective of Cathy Dollanganger, who is 12 and the second of four children (Chris, who is 14, and twins Cory and Carrie, who are five). They lived a picture-perfect life with both of their parents until their father died in a car accident, leaving the family in destitution. Their mother, Corrine, takes the children to her parents’ home in Virginia. The grandmother is a cold and heartless woman, but after persuasion, they are allowed to stay — under the condition that the children are hidden in the attic. The grandfather mustn’t know about the children, otherwise Corrine won’t inherit the family fortune. The children are told that in a week Corrine will win back her father’s affection then he will die and the children will be let out. Days turn to weeks, weeks to months, months to years. At first Corrine would visit daily, but eventually this dwindled down to hardly ever. During this time, Olivia is feeding the children in the morning, while verbally and physically abusing them. After almost four years, the children become sick. Cory is the worst. After promising that she would take Cory to the hospital, Corrine returns and discovers that Cory has died. After that, it doesn’t take long for the remaining three children to escape Foxworth Hall. Cathy left a message for anyone who entered their prison in the attic saying, “We lived in the attic, Christopher, Cory, Carrie and me. Now there are only three.” Flowers in the Attic is full of incest, mystery, betrayal and greed. It is the first of a series, followed by Petals on the Wind, If There Be Thorns, Seeds of Yesterday and Garden of Shadows. This was definitely a dark read, and I wouldn’t recommend it to the faint of heart.


THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011



Popcorn: More than Just a Movie Time Snack ANDREW KEENE Popcorn. How does it work? How does a small kernel of magic explode into a crunchy butter infused ball of love? The answer lays hidden in the dormant reaches of science. The secret behind popcorn physics may never be known to man and will surely find its place alongside magnets in the realm of scientific mystery. Regardless of this, it tastes damn good. There are certainly many ways to enrich your popcorn experience, like adding cinnamon sugar or parmesan cheese to your corn to give it some extra flavor. Yet, I have noticed something recently; look outside. Do you see the snow? That’s usually an indication that Christmas is near, not to mention the jaded Salvation Army bell ringers outside of Wal-Mart and the college students donning fake beards and stuffing pillows under their red and white getup at department stores so

the hordes of humans can tell “Santa Claus” what they want for Christmas. But back to popcorn. We’ll be making marshmallow popcorn snowmen. The creation and exhibition of food is an art form, so for this one, whip out your sweet tooth. Things you’ll need: • 10 cups of popped popcorn • 1-lb package of large marshmallows • Half a stick of butter or margarine • One teaspoon of vanilla • Decorations (a.k.a. candy) Melt the marshmallows and butter over medium heat in a large saucepan. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla. Let stand for five minutes. Pour over the popcorn. Butter up your hands, after washing them, and form the popcorn into balls.

Make mini-snowmen and decorate with whatever sweet yummies your heart desires. After creating your Frankenstein of deliciousness, take a picture, savor the moment

How does a small kernel of magic explode into a crunchy butter infused ball of love? and devour him ravenously. He would’ve melted in the sun anyways, so consider it a mercy killing. Or, if you’re a more humanitarian type, keep him forever as a Christmas decoration or tree ornament.

A QUESTION OF APPROACHABILITY Dear Aspen, When attempting to approach someone in a bar, how can you tell if they’re too “buzzed” to offer an intelligent conversation? I’m tired of talking to slurring, slumped idiots every time I go out.

If you’re looking for intelligent conversation around large groups of people consuming alcohol, you may have to weed through quite a few contenders before anyone can offer a discussion. However, there are a few signs to look for that can help you avoid the worst. Look for people who keep repeating themselves. If this is the third time tonight they’ve told you the story about their encounter with a Cher doppleganger, there’s a good chance they are too drunk. Also, look for people making up their own words and using them to describe everything.

For females, watch the ones in heels who don’t seem to be moving much. Heels are dangerous, and the combination of heels

If she’s wearing heels and afraid to move, there’s a good chance she’s going to stumble when she does. and drinking can prove disastrous. If she’s wearing heels and afraid to move, there’s a good chance she’s going to stumble when she


does. The dance floor can also provide a clue. If the person hasn’t made any indication they like or want to groove and suddenly make way for the floor, watch out. Moves rivaling John Travolta’s may be ahead, and once you get them started, it’s hard to stop. Finally, begin paying attention to their disappearances. As one becomes more intoxicated, they’re likely to begin disappearing more frequently, and for longer periods of time. They could be leaving for the obvious need of more bathroom stops, to speak with anyone they know or to “go on an adventure.” The longer they’re gone, the more likely they’ve forgotten what they were originally doing. And if they can’t remember what they were doing 27 seconds ago, it’s likely they won’t remember most of your conversation, anyway.

"Hey, I have an illustration!" "Uhhh....what is this?" "You mean you can't see it? It's a bag of popcorn eating popcorn while watching a movie about a kernel of popcorn and his popcorn dog livin' in a popcorn world." "Dude, which way do I even hold this thing? We can't print this." "But we need to fill blank space!" "Fine, but at least put a caption on it." ILLUSTRATION BY DEREK BROUWER

Calendar december 1 - 8 THURSDAY december 1



Warren Miller’s “Like There’s No Tomorrow” Film Screening Show times: 6 and 9 p.m., Emerson Cultural Center; Tickets available at Round House Ski and Sports Center, Chalet Sports, as well as at the door Come celebrate winter and tour the world’s most inspiring snowy landscapes; All ticket holders will receive one 2-for-1 Lift Ticket to Big Sky Resort; Visit montana. edu/skiing for more information

“Return to the Surface” Exhibit runs until Dec. 9, Helen E. Copeland Gallery located in the School of Art An exhibition of prints by Sean Caulfield and Akiko Taniguchi Exit Gallery Accepting Applications for Spring 2012 Art Exhibitions Deadline: Dec. 14

Salsa Night Every Thursday Lessons: 8 - 9 p.m.; Open Dancing: 9 - 11 p.m., SOB Barn Free and Open to All

Dan Dubuque 7 - 9 p.m., Starky’s Authentic Americana, No Cover, All Ages

Bozeman Winter Farmer’s Market, 9 a.m. - 12 p.m. Emerson Cultural Center Join in the first Bozeman Winter Farmer’s Market of the season DeStereotype Me Day MSU Campus, Sponsored by Sustained Dialogue; More info at “Rollotrobes and Traded Memories” by Sukha Worob, Exhibit runs Nov. 28 Dec. 9, The Exit Gallery In this exhibit, Sukha Worob explores contemporary approaches to printmaking through intermedia installation and interactive works


december 2 Kopriva Science Seminar Series, 4:15 p.m., Byker Auditorium, Chemistry Building Jonas Mulder-Rosi presents “Information and Anatomy: What Neuronal Morphology Can Tell Us About Neuronal Function”

Dub Sultan, Do It Kappa and David Dalla G 9 p.m. - 2 a.m., The Filling Station, Cover: $3; Ages: 21+

Bobcat Women’s Basketball vs. Utah State 7:05 p.m., Home

SATURDAY december 3

Service Saturday 10 a.m. - 12 p.m., Meet at Ask Us Desk in SUB at 9:45 a.m. Get festive with several great volunteer opportunities The Christmas Stroll 4:30 - 7:30 p.m., Downtown Bozeman Kick-off the holiday season with activities, great food and fun in the heart of downtown Bozeman The Red Ribbon Ball 7 - 10 p.m., Emerson Cultural Center Ballroom, Tickets: $20 at Ask Us Desk, Brick Breeden Fieldhouse, Rosauer’s, and; $25 at the door Hosted by AIDS Outreach, this charity event features live music by The String Jumpers, wonderful desserts and raffle prizes all to help raise AIDS awareness “Peaceful Tickling Solutions”: Carley F. Smith 6 - 9 p.m., 1416 Gold Ave. #4 Bozeman, MT A closing reception for the BFA Thesis Exhibition displaying mixed-media installations

SATURDAY continued

Bobcat Football NCAA FCS Playoffs vs. University of New Hampshire Bobcat Stadium Tickets go on sale Nov. 28 Bobcat Men’s Basketball vs. Cal State Bakersfield 7 p.m., Home Montana Ballet Company’s “The Nutcracker” Dec. 3, 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 4, 2 p.m. Willson Auditorium; Tickets: $15 - $45 MBC welcomes world renowned guest artists Vilia Putrius and Mindaugas Bauzys, principal dancers with Festival Ballet Providence in this festive holiday performance with musical accompaniment by the Bozeman Symphony


december 4 Permaculture Film Night: “Design for Life: The Food Forest Story”, 5 - 6:30 p.m., Bozeman Public Library; Free “Design for Life” tells the story of two baby boomers who saw cracks emerging in the global ecosystem and started the adventure of their lives, to perfect an abundant, sustainable way of living


december 5 Winter Biking Commuting Discussion 6:30 p.m., REI Biking doesn’t have to stop in the winter! Learn how to safely navigate snowy conditions and decrease your carbon footprint; Pre-register at to reserve a seat

Got an exciting, entertaining, extraneous, educational, or just plain excellent event coming up? Let us know at calendar@


december 6 400th Anniversary of King James Bible & Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” 7 p.m., Reynolds Recital Hall, Free and open to public An experiment in collaborative writing, editing and performing directed by Professor Lynda Sexson; a lively program that examines topics in the history and creation of these books and reveals an ultimate humanity

WEDNESDAY december 7

Sizzling Salsa Every Wednesday, Lessons at 7:30 p.m., Open Dancing: 8:30 - 10:30 p.m., Baxter Ballroom; $5 per person Bobcat Men’s Basketball vs. Willamette 7 p.m., Home Jawbone Railroad 7 - 9 p.m., Starky’s Authentic Americana, No Cover, All Ages

THURSDAY december 8

2nd Annual McNair Scholars Research Poster Symposium 5 - 7 p.m., SUB Ballroom D A showcase and celebration of the efforts that have been dedicated to each of the McNair research projects completed by our scholars Salsa Night, Every Thursday, Lesson: 8 - 9 p.m., Open Dancing: 9 - 11 p.m., SOB Barn Free and open for all Studio 374 One Act Performances Dec. 8 - 10, 7:30 p.m., MSU Black Box Theatre; Student and Senior Tickets: $8; General Admission: $10

THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011



The Three-way Part Two

The last Sexponent asked the question of a potential threesome.

Inviting a third participant into the bedroom is a big deal, and may seem unattractive in the prepenetration phase.

To recap what was discussed: One needs to go about this carefully and thoughtfully.

Make sure you and your partner are comfortable engaging in the magnificent threesome. Lack of communication in any relationship issue can be potentially damaging. You wouldn’t break up over whether or not the toilet seat was left up, but you might over a third party in the bedroom. If you two are still set on having a threesome, take baby steps. What about the participants in a threesome? Establishing your extra player is necessary for this adventure. The key ingredient: Each person should be in agreement about the ground rules. Nonetheless, this isn’t an easy task; finding the third person can be awkward. I suggest not scrolling through Craigslist or looking in a bar to find him or her. Instead, find someone you know and trust — at least a bit. All of you will be in your birthday suits so

you should feel at ease with this person, but not be upset if you have to cut them out of your life if/when the act goes awry. Consider his or her sexual resume. Remember, when engaging in intercourse with this individual, you’re sleeping with everyone they’ve slept with too — and nobody wants any STDs running around. For everyone's sakes, wear a condom —a different one with each partner. Inviting a third participant into the

A-Z Lecture Series Summary by Kendra Schaff Kickin' Back: Philosophy on Ted-Talks Ludwig Wittgenstein is one of the two most influential philosophers of the 20th century. He has been the only person in history to completely change the course of philosophy twice in his lifetime. Born in 1888 in Vienna, he lost his father and two of his brothers to suicide. In 1922 he published his only book, which claimed to solve every problem of philosophy. In his lifetime, he studied more than philosophy. He became an elementary teacher and moved to Vienna as well as workedas a gardener in a monastery. After this prolonged period, he turned back to his writings, but they were stolen and published by another, changing the field for a second time. During his time in Vienna he became

closer to his remaining family. One of his sisters (Gretl) invited him to help design her

How have humans developed their morality? house. He soon took over the project, and was mostly in charge of the doors, doorknobs, and windows. Most believe that he designed the house in the same way he wrote his book, in a very meticulous and perfectionist way.

The house was allowed no domestic accommodations such as chandeliers and carpet. After the house was finished, in 1928, one of his other sisters (Hermine) wrote: “"Even though I admired the house very much, I always knew that I neither wanted to, nor could, live in it myself. It seemed indeed to be much more a dwelling for the gods than for a small mortal like me." The house was made a national monument in 1971, saving it from demolition. Why is Wittgenstein so unknown to philosophy students, when he changed the field so radically? How interchangeable is language and architecture?

bedroom is a big deal, and may seem unattractive in the pre-penetration phases. But, when it comes to the main event, it is okay to back down if you have any hesitation. If the situation starts to get hostile, feel free to employ a safety-word (we recommend starfish). Ultimately, this experience is meant to fulfill a fantasy or broaden a relationship. In other words, it should be about the two of you — unless one of you breaks it off to run away with the third wheel. After all, how many relationships actually survive a threesome? ILLUSTRATION BY MATT SCHWAGER

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THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011

THE ASMSU EXPONENT | December 1, 2011

ASMSU Exit Gallery Presents:

“Rollotrobes and Traded Memories”

A Printstallation by Sukha Worob


The ASMSU Exit Gallery presents “Rollotrobes and Traded Memories” a printstallation by Sukha Worob. The installation will be displayed in the Exit Gallery November 28th – December 9th and there will be an artist reception on Wednesday, December 7th at 5pm.

Artist Statement With this body of work I ask you to trade, one of your memories for one of mine. The byproduct of our engagement will be an evolution of this space. As rollers are rolled and gloves are added, panels will slowly dwindle. The wall holding snapshots of previous years work will start to disappear, and something new will be born, a visual reference to our collaborative efforts. “Rollotrobes and Traded Memories” is a print installation that relies on the interaction of visitors with the space and materials. Sukha graduated with an MFA from Montana State University in May but has already worked to push the limits of his medium. For this installation, Sukha has created inking machines called “rollotrobes”. Visitors will become part of his installation by donning blue latex gloves and putting ink prints with their hands on the walls of the gallery, which will act as the canvas. After leaving their prints on the wall, visitors can take a “traded memory”, or a 4x6 print of Worob’s as a remembrance of their participation. “With this body of work I ask you to trade, one of your memories for one of mine,” said the artist. Worob’s work explores contemporary approaches to the printmaking multiple through intermedia installation and interactive works. His work has been recognized through such awards as Best in Show at the 2011 SGCI, the Printer’s Choice Award, the Dorothy and Joseph Moller Arts Scholarship and the Whiteman Family Endowment for the Arts Award. He has exhibited throughout the United States and has work in permanent collections in both the U.S. and abroad.

Bio About the Artist: Sukha Worob works as a printmaker, photographer and installation artist. Worob obtained his BFA in printmaking from Northern Arizona University in 2006, and MFA from Montana State University in 2011. Worob’s work explores contemporary approaches to the printmaking multiple through intermedia installation and interactive works. Worob has exhibited throughout the United States and he has work in permanent collections both in the U.S. and abroad. Worob’s work has been recognized through such awards as Best in Show at the 2011 SGCI, the Printer’s Choice Award, the Dorothy and Joseph Moller Arts Scholarship and the Whiteman Family Endowment for the Arts Award.

The Exit Gallery is located in SUB 212. For more information please contact ASMSU Arts and Exhibits at 406.994.1828 or

Don't Friggen Correct Me...

Jokes by Staff


"You mean 'Nate and I.'" "Umm... tomatoes are fruits, actually" "Actually, there are no buffalo in America... just bison." "You did well. Superman does good." "Avoid cliches like the plague." "I don't know — CAN you go to the bathroom?" "People are hanged, clothing is hung." "It is pronounced 'creek.' 'Cre-e-e-e-e-e-k.'"


Concept by Chris Maus and Zach Hartmann llustration by Nate Carroll

my professor said it was balls to the walls from Now till Finals. Dude, what are you doing?

Place a number in the empty boxes in such a way that each row across, each column down and each small 9-box square contains all of the numbers from one to nine.


Welcome to The Box, a weekly feature intended to provide an eclectic array of puzzles, cartoons, jokes and quotes. Have suggestions for content to be published here? E-mail us at: