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They All Leave One by One Walking on my own was very normal even after dark. My head felt like it was getting banged against the wall getting home was a MUST already. My phone was vibrating in my hand, I was getting over excited thinking it was my cousin but, no it was my mother. “Mija, where are you? I don’t think I can pick you up from school. I’m stuck here for a while.” My mother speaking to quick that I had to stop walking to talk. “I’m… Okay… I thought you wouldn’t … Its okay… I’m already walking. If you want-“ “What’s wrong? Why are you talking so slow?” she interrupted. “Nothing… Head ache. Not much I will be okay. You know what day it is?” I asked quietly. “Yes… I know… just get home safe I won’t get there until 9 or 10. Rest and shower don’t forget to take your medicine. I love you. He would be happy for us so cheer up.” The line went dead before I could respond. It was April 3rd not only my cousin’s birthday but my Tio’s (Uncle in Spanish) birthday as well. 30 years old he would be today it’s only been 8 months since his death. Dang He would be old. Completely forgetting that I was in the sidewalk and not checking for cars I put that thought in the back of my head. Running towards my apartment all the stairs till I reached the front door. No one was home… Like always. Checking the time 7:49 turning the television on as fast as I could commercials. Of Course... I thought angrily turning it down so not even a bug could hear the television. Ehh I have time change and then make sure I have everything. Got it. Okay. Thinking to myself I started ripping my clothes of as If when I was done I would receive an award in the end leaving a trail in my room. Looking down and seeing them. THE SCARS THAT RUINED ME AND ARE HERE ON MY BODY TO REMIND ME EVERYTIME. For every time I saw them the horrible thoughts came to mind and all the horrible occasions came back as if they had just accord. They weren’t my fault; it was just because my body was having horrible reactions. The longer I looked the more the tears started to come down. Hatred came to heart. Lying down in my pj’s still looking at the scars I remembered. From that summer to my grandmothers’ death to my uncles’ death and, mom leaving when I most needed her.


She had just gone in to surgery and my mom and uncle where packing. The plan was for them to be there at Mexico by the night before they finished. They had everything ready and making sure that I and my little sister were ready for the move. “You know I don’t want to live with him right. I told you I didn’t. Can I live with Roberto? Si ma?” Following my mom and asking for she knew I didn’t want to live with my stepdad while she was gone. “It’s just going to be a month you will be okay. When I get back we will move and you can come back to Kramer and be with all you friends. But for now we have to leave I want to see you Grandma now hurry and get in the truck.” She told me pushing me out the door to go downstairs and wait for her to leave. A full month. I will be away from her for a full month. Not that I wasn’t used to her being gone but not even seeing or talking. Wait she is going to miss my Birthday and I will miss hers! Having second thoughts about her leaving wasn’t going to do me any good. She is going to go no matter what. I will be okay. One month and I have my sisters so I will be okay. She left but with my uncle as well they were gone leaving me with my sister and my stepdad. We will be okay I thought without knowing what we were in for. That night around one my stepdad was on the phone. Going in to his room he looked at me. “She died. Your grandma died before they even got there. Her brain bled and went to seizure and she is gone. Your mom is going to stay longer than we thought for your younger aunts and your uncles.” He told me as he saw mw scratching my arms. “Okay? Stop scratching you will leave marks.” “Okay. I am going back to sleep. It’s okay if she stays they need her more than we. It’s okay.” Walking away not believing myself that it was okay. Weeks had passed and we were all on the same schedule. Wake up Clean Eat Tv Feed Dog Work


Although we were young we worked. Helping out with my stepdads business from five at night until we had finished. Most nights we were lucky to be home before two thirty. A schedule we were all used to and hated with everything. It was summer and we wanted to do things that we do in the summer not work. Then it came. My birthday. It was the day the big 12 and I thought no one had remembered. WRONG. My sisters being the only ones with me made a little thing. Only us three. It was tiny but the ones that cared were there with a tiny cake and a homemade gift but it was something. “Okay yours is today and tomorrow it’s my dad’s birthday. What should we make him?” Raven asked us. “A huge chocolate cake that we could see from far!” screamed Fatima the youngest and stubborn one. “We can’t. I dint know how and neither does your sister something easy. I don’t know maybe we will come up with something later” She told us as she went away. My arms itching and hurting I turned to look at Fatima with disappointment. “Maybe next. What’s that?” I asked pointing at her elbow “Oh this I don’t know I wake up at night scratching it hurts but it’s okay” she said while picking and walked away before I could ask anything. The day was fine. Until that night. “STUPID ASSES YOU GUYS ARE WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHITS. IF I WAS YOUR BOSS I WOULD FIRED ALL THREE OF YOU GUYS.” My stepdad yelled that night at us for a small thing. “STAYING UP ALL NIGHT AND I BET YOU GUYS HAVENT EATEN AS WELL. LETICIA WHERE DO YOU WANT TO EAT? IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY SO CHOSE AND IF YOU SONT YOU GUYS ARE JUST NOT GOING TO EAT.” “Uh… jack is okay… or anything really.” I answered with a small voice. “SHUT UP. YOU GUYS ARENT GOING TO GET ANYTHING NOW. EVERYBODY THANK LETICIA FOR THAT IT’S ALL HER FAULT THAT YOU GUYS WON’T EAT.” No one answering we went home in quite not a word was said that the wind blowing was all the noise. Three days passed and none had said anything to each other at all. A rash appeared on my arms just like my sisters. But I said nothing for she said it was nothing. More days passed the


rash had spread to my stomach and legs. My mom stopped calling and my sisters all got a rash as well. Then we all had the courage to show my stepdad together at night. “Ay MIJAS! Why didn’t you guys tell me this is bad, you guys all have it but differently” he checked us all and gave us medicine before bed. The next morning everyone had gotten better but me. I seem to have gotten worse than usual. We hurried to the emergency room. “Keep talking to me you can’t stay quite. Tell me anything just don’t stay quite or close your eyes.” My stepdad reminded me as he sped down the streets. “Okay. You’re going too fast. I’m hungry. I want to talk to my mom. I want to know how she is…” repeating to him over and over until we reached the hospital. They took care of me that night. The needles going into my back. My screaming. I opened my eyes. Full of tears. Looking down remembering. Remembering my grandmother how she died. How my uncle got killed and went happy for he saw his mom and he went with her that night. How my mom left when I needed her. But most of all remembering that throughout all the pain that came to me he was there. Now he was gone. Not because he died but because of the hate that grew over that summer. No matter what I think of my stepdad I remember he was the one who held my hand when I most needed him. Now he is the one I hate the most when I see him.

They all leave one by one