FOREPLAY mutual sexual stimulation preceding sexual intercourse
ISSUE ONE Editorâ€™s Welcome
Sex, lovemaking, intimacy, intercourse, whatever it is you call it we are either doing it, talking about it, thinking about it, looking at people doing it or wishing we were at it. Sex is what keeps the human race sprinting forward unwisely into the unknown and it is one of the only constants in life.
Foreplay hopes to forever discard the seedy, sordid stereotypes of the sex industry and hopes to positively alter societies perspective, allowing the sex industry to continue with the success of sophisticated, daring intimacy it greatly deserves.
Today a positive change in attitude and a recession within our society has led the sex industry to soar therefore allowing the market to become sophisticated, daring and intimate. With the market expected to continue boosting, Foreplay is created.
Ashley Young - Saunders
Foreplay is a competent once a month editorial magazine that celebrates all aspects of Sex whether it is Sex life, Sex toys, Sexual fantasies or Sexuality. With a luxuriant feel in
its design each issue showcases audacious editorial with enticing photography to create a subtle stimulation to its readers allowing an intimate re-discovery of the sex industry. The first issue is a celebratory issue, a chance to not only celebrate the release of our first issue but a chance to celebrate sex and everything that sex stands for. This issue touches on the beginning call it the amateur or the virgin issue perhaps; everyone has to start somewhere. The articles within will take on you on a step by step journey of sexual self - discovery starting from the beginning of course, as you progress through each article and issue your new self-discovery will give you the confidence needed to re-discover all elements of the sex industry without the uncomfortable, seedy, sordid stereotypes that negatively alters societies perception.
Whatâ€™s your pleasure
Virginity - Once upon a time Pornography - A new generation
Desires of the Kama Sutra Dressing up - Playing Pretend Sex Toys - Passion Play Exhibtionism - Anytime Everywhere Masturbation Stereotypes
11 15 17 19 23
WHAT’S YOUR PLEASURE By Martyn Metliss
Birds do it... bees do it... even educated fleas do it. Sex is hard wired into our DNA. This basic need for sex and procreation is a good thing none of us would be here if it wasn’t. But to set off this chemical chain reaction, further components are needed for this age-old dance of coupling. Sexiness or desirability means different things to many people. This too is a good thing; otherwise it would be something that is quantifiable. There would be specifics and you’ll either have them or not. So I think we can all agree that because we live in a plural society, there can be more than one idea of what’s attractive or sexy. One person’s Marmite might be another person’s... well, Marmite. For some it may be the eyes or a sexy smile. For others it might be a great body, perfect teeth, or a certain confidence. But there is also that indefinable aspect; as the French say, a certain je ne sais quai. I’ve seen this manifest itself in comments such as, “There’s something about the way they look at me,” or “There’s just something about the way they carry themselves,” and even “That person just has a certain aura about them.” However you like to say it, a person can exude sexiness that you just can’t put a finger on. All you know is that it’s there and you want them because of it. Over the course of history there have been iconoclastic figureheads for these elusive and fickle qualities as diverse as anyone could imagine- gym types with hard bodies or Geek Chic. Take your pick. Most recently we’ve had the Twilight phenomenon with the twin sex symbols of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. These two have diametrically
opposite qualities to offer. The former brings a brooding, sensitive James Dean quality to his character. The latter is all hard abs and a steely gaze. The differences are enough that you can either be in one camp or the other. You can be for Team Edward or Team Jacob. But can ‘t we sample a little bit of both? Is it not possible to like the Beatles and the Stones? Marilyn Monroe was one of the ultimate sex symbols. I’m reminded of this as I occasionally glance up from writing and my gaze settles on the framed picture of Marilyn on our living room wall. The very fact that her iconic status is still firmly in place testifies to her enduring appeal, as does the desire to copy her look that continues to this day. Madonna, Gwen Stefani, and Lady Gaga are just a few of the many celebrities that-at some point have appropriated her image. It’s impossible to define a specific quality that would explain her allure, and in doing so it would only serve to diminish her. It’s all about her contradictions. She was obtainable yet distant, sexy yet fragile, and funny but with a sensitivity. The fact that I can’t quite figure her out makes me feel drawn to her even more. These definitions and qualities do change over time. Tastes will diversify as well as the culture. I think it’s fair to say that we live in a more sexually per-missive time than the 1950s when sex in the media or elsewhere was more re-served and refined. These days this has given way to a more show-all approach with the emergence of ‘Lad’s Magazines’ culture. These publications have placed the onus 02
the emergence of ‘Lad’s Magazines’ culture. These publications have placed the onus squarely on the currency of flesh and how much of it you can show. Little is left to the imagination, but as we know, the imagination can be one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs. This over-saturation of ‘bare all’ in the media can also lead to the rejuvenation of some long forgotten art forms of yesteryear as antidotes to these trends. Perhaps one of 1he finest examples of this is burlesque. Whereas the ‘Lad’s Magazine’ culture is all about the full exposure of flesh, burlesque is all about the slow reveal. The burlesque artist teases the audience with tantalizing snippets of flesh yet unseen. This art of the tease continues until the ache becomes too much and the show climaxes for the full reveal. Very sexy indeed! So when looking through our new issue, take pause and have a good look. Some of it might shock and some of it might arouse. Some of the content might even shock then arouse. Either way, there are flavors for all tastes catered in this ice cream parlor. Go on ... have a lick
Photography by Nalvaro Nistal, Flickr 03
ONCE UPON A TIME By Cassandra Jeffery
Perhaps risqué the television show Sex and the City portrayed four independent, beautiful and sexually liberated women living the big life in New York City. New to the entertainment biz in the late 90’s, the show challenged the normative conventions of sex and brought various taboo subjects surrounding sex and relationships to the forefront of national television. It’s fair to suggest the show presented a glamorous, fantastic and exhilarating image of sex. And yet sex can be sometimes be disappointing, lead to venereal disease, pregnancy or a broken heart. Sex is illustrated in various ways in media and the only way to shatter the illusion of sexual fantasies is to actually experience the act yourself. Although one’s sexual purity isn’t as sacred as the days of poodle skirts and Buddy Holly, the idea of giving away your virginity is often considered a rather large milestone on the path of life. There are various reasons why individuals make the decision to save their virginity. For engaged couple Monika Korosi and Joshua Wolfe, both devout Christians, sex is some thing to be saved for marriage. “It adds an excitement and anticipation to the marriage,” says Wolfe, a second-year philosophy and music student. Although their religious views have influenced their decision to wait for marriage, Wolfe suggests that this is not the only reason they have decided to get married young. Sex is illustrated in various ways in media and the only way to shatter the illusion of sexual fantasies is to actually experience the act yourself. Although one’s sexual purity isn’t as sacred as the days of poodle skirts and Buddy Holly, the idea of giving away your virginity is often considered a rather large milestone on the path of life.
Photography by Carlos Lorenzo 05
There are various reasons why individuals make the decision to save their virginity. For engaged couple Monika Korosi and Joshua Wolfe, both devout Christians, sex is some thing to be saved for marriage. “It adds an excitement and anticipation to the marriage,” says Wolfe, a second-year philosophy and music student. Although their religious views have influenced their decision to wait for marriage, Wolfe suggests that this is not the only reason they have decided to get married young. “We mutually agreed right from the start of
our relationship would last a long time and so why prolong the inevitable?” explains Wolfe. In a discussion of pre-marital sex and I believe a lot of it comes down to how you view relationships. Waiting for marriage is realistic for us because of the dynamic of our relationship is different.” For these young students, marriage is not a far-fetched reality. Completing school, starting a career and sharing a first apartment are all milestones Wolfe and Korosi have decided to experience together as a married couple. However, Wolfe admits that waiting for marriage has never been an easy task. “There’s always a temptation to have sex. There’s a challenged to waiting, but we’ve been mindful of our values and beliefs.” In the Christian community, saving sex for marriage is a commonly shared value, but for third-year philosophy student Seth Enriguez, waiting for marriage just wasn’t on the cards for him. A devout Christian himself, Enriquez often struggles with his past sexual encounters. “Yeah I did regret my first time,” he says. “At the time I thought it was an achievement, but looking back I wish I could have shared that with someone special.” “When I lost my virginity, I wasn’t a Christian. Now having embraced the Christina faith fully, I feel as though the faith has shown me a proper understanding of what sex is all about, and I wish I didn’t have to miss out on the experience of waiting for marriage,” explains Enriquez, who developed a sense of guilt when engaging in sexual activity. “My whole understanding of love and loving
another person would include loving the way God would want me to love them. I would be betraying my own values, it wouldn’t be an honest love.” says Enriquez. In the past, Enriquez held the view that sex before marriage was vital to a lasting relationship, however his views have altered and he now admits to insecurities. Now having experienced the positive benefits to having a healthy sex life. Enriquez is concerned of what the future holds for him in terms of sexual relations. Tammi Dupont, a fourth-year science student, is still a virgin but is not waiting for marriage. For Dupont, sex is definitely an important and significant step forward in a relationship, but she simply wants to wait for the right guy. “Sex is almost like that little secret you don’t want anyone to know, but the one person that finally does know and is willing to share their secret with you can be your closest companion,” explains Dupont. She confides that opportunities to lose her virginity have presented themselves, although for whatever reason. Having sex just didn’t feel like a step in the right direction. Veronica Greene and Charles Carmichael share a different relationship dynamic than Wolfe and Korosi, and have decided that waiting for sex was not an essential aspect to the prosperity of their relationship. “My first time was special because it was with someone that I love and there wasn’t much reason to wait anymore, says Greene, a third – year English student. “I don’t regret a thing.” For Greene and Carmichael, both parties agree that sex is an important aspect to a relationship.“ The physical part of a relationship is just as important as the emotional part. In the end, I 06
Photography by Danny Craven 07
don’t think having sex hinders a relationship.” For Greene the notion of saving sex for marriage is unrealistic and unnecessary. “ I certainly support the idea of waiting for the right person, but I don’t agree with waiting for marriage to have sex,” he says. “I think that if you’re going to commit to being with someone for the rest of your life, you should be comfortable and know everything about that person before you tie the knot.” The risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections is a subject that requires open communication and trust, especially for virgins. Greene says, however that you don’t need to be experienced to be smart when it comes to the risks of sex. “If you’re smart about what you’re doing, then there’s no reason why it’s
anymore risky than if I were 30.” Carmichael considers saving sex for marriage an admirable quality, but recognizes so inherent flaws behind waiting. “Some of my friends have waiting until marriage now have regretted their decision,” he says. “Having sex can change so much of the relationship dynamic and if you wait until marriage to figure that out, it could really hurt a relationship.” People are complicated, and developing a healthy, comfortable sex life is different for every person. Sex lives are different for everyone, and your virginity is yours to give. There’s no uniform right or wrong for everyone, but there’s certainly a way that’s just right for each and every person. 08
A NEW GENERATION By Ella Weatherilt
No other generation in human history has had so much sex around them. From the increasingly graphic sexual content in movies and TV to the endless depths of pornography online, sex is all around us from an early age. But despite the wealth of sexual voyeurism, it’s possible our sex lives are worse than ever. Most parents spend more time avoiding our questions about sex than answering them. Academic institutions are increasingly terrified of being politically incorrect. Meanwhile, porn dominates over 12 percent of all websites. It’s quick, it’s free and within seconds, we can have the answers to all of our questions. With over 86 million visitors per day, porn has become sex education for young people. Cindy Gallop, creator of the website “Make Love Not Porn: gave a TED talk on this subject that quickly went viral in part because of her raunchy subject matter. She explicitly described how her sexual experiences with younger men have exposed her to the shocking ramifications that the hardcore porn industry has had on our culture. In the video, Gallop talked of having to regularly decline and attempted “facial” with, “Actually, no thank you very much, I would much rather you did not cum on my face.” But she is especially concerned about the young girl “whose boyfriend wants to cum on her face. But hardcore porn has taught her all men love cumming on women’s faces, all women love having their faces cum on, and therefore she must let him come on her face, and she must pretend to like it.” In an interview with the Ubyssey, Gallop explains that porn has made the job of sex education 09
even harder. “There’s an entire generation growing up that believes that what you see in hardcore pornography is the way that you have sex.” Prior to porn, those parents brave enough to take on the task of educating their children about sex simply had to talk about the logistics. Nowadays the conversation has to address what the Internet is showing teenagers. As Gallop puts it: “Darling, we know you’re online, we know you’re looking at an awful lot of porn, so we just need to let you know that not all women like being bound, gagged, choked, spit on or gang banged.” Lori Brotto, a UBC professor from the department of obstetrics and gynecology suggests that the porn itself isn’t necessarily the problem. “It can expose people to new and different forms of stimuli to enhance their sexual arousal response and it can also be useful for couples wishing to add variety and intensity to their sexual experiences.” Where the danger lies is in misunderstanding what your partner wants in their sex life. “If one partner is opposed to pornography and one in favor, then it can create jealousy, resentment and deception,” says Brotto. “Today’s porn is more than a masturbation aid,” wrote Gary Wilson and Marina Robinson for the online magazine The Good Men Project. “It replaces imagination with multiple tabs, constant searching, fast-forwarding to the perfect scene, a voyeuristic perspective.” The problem we’re now facing is that or a generation of performers. With over 80 per cent of North American children aged 15 - 17
having watched hardcore pornography on multiple occasions, and the average age of first exposure being 11, many girls know how to give the perfect blowjob before they’ve even seen a penis in the flesh. They also know what positions to get into, what noises to make and what they are “supposed” to like and dislike.
Everybody has different sexual desires, fantasies, wants and needs, which is what makes sex such a beautiful way to express yourself. In the end, Gallop’s message is actually pretty simple: The way forward is sexual honesty.
But when it comes down to actually having sex for real, will we take the cues that porn has given us? Gallop’s experience answers the question resoundingly: yes! “We all feel enormously vulnerable when we get naked,” Gallop says. “Sexual egos are very fragile, and people find it bizarrely difficult to talk about sex with the people they are actually having sex with because you’re terrified of hurting the other person’s feelings, putting them off you, derailing the entire encounter. But at the same time, you want to please your partner, and you’ll seize your cues on how to do that from anywhere you can, and if the only cues you have are from porn, then those are the ones you will take.” Today it’s not uncommon for two people to be in a sexual relationship, neither of them particularly enjoying what’s going on, but both believing that this is the way they should be having sex. Due to our overexposure to porn, even open minded, sexually aware people are struggling to figure out what genuinely turns them on. The lines are becoming blurred between what we want, and what we think we should want. This sense of inauthentic pleasure is, more than anything else, very depressing. “Sex is the area of human experience that embraces the vastest possible range of proclivities.” says Gallop.
Photography by Carter Smith 10
DESIRES OF THE KAMA SUTRA By Amanda Teseo
It echoes through cocktail parties, seeps its way into Facebook statuses and is the subject of late-night phone conversations. It’s your love life. “What ‘tis to love?” Shakespeare wrote. People have been burdened by this Question for centuries. Poems, short stories, novels, plays and countless other art forms have been produced to depict what it is to be in love. Whether you have given up on it or embraced it, your love life may seem like a dauntingly intricate realm to navigate. Filled with mystery and intricacy, and relationships continuously encompass our energy and attention. “Men and women are like two feet - we need each other to get ahead, but we did not evolve the same way,” said English poet ‘Ted Hughes. “We must learn to live peacefully with one another to live a life of fulfillment “ Centuries ago, the Kama Sutra, an ancient self-help book, was written to address love related concerns. Written between the first and fourth centuries BCE by a man named Vatsyayana in Utah Pradesh, India, the Kama Sutra contains detailed descriptions of sexual positions, how to be a good citizen and how to honor your partner. In the language of Sanskrit, Kama means “desire,” or the pursuit of love or pleasure (one of the four aims of life, according to Hindu traditions), and Sutra means “rules.” Kama is also the name or the Hindu god or love, who is portrayed as a handsome young gentleman shooting arrows of love, much like the modem cupid? Rightfully named, the Kama Sutra is a carefully crafted and
comprehensive examination of life and love. Today, the bedlam of love has been articulated and analyzed by several different groups of people, ranging from Cosmopolitan magazine writers to scientific researchers. Dr. Helen Asher. Biological anthropologist describes three separate interrelated aspects of love: Sex drive, romantic love and attachment. Sex drive is an intoterab1e neural “itch,” much like that of being hungry that arises rapidly upon being stimulated. Romantic love is not an emotion, but rather a drive of motivation that acts as a type of motor for the brain. Dr. Fisher states that “romantic love has evolved to focus mating energy on just one individual ‘’ She also explains bow attachment allows one to tolerate one human being long enough to reproduce. These three mental processes allow humans to love. From a scientific perspective, the Kama Sutra addresses these aspects of love to allow for discipline of sex drive, preservation of romance and strengthening of attachment. At the beginning of the 19 th Century, British explorer Sir Richard f Buxton became fascinated with Indian erotica upon discovering the Kama Sutra and translating It Into English. He famously exclaimed, “we British never knew of this kind of Lovemaking. Had we known, we would not have ruined the lives of so many British virgins.” Despite Burton’s fascination with the book, publication of the Kama Sutra was initially met with great opposition. Under the Obscene Publications Act, Burton was threatened with prosecution and imprisonment after publishing 12
Publications Act, Burton was threatened with prosecution and imprisonment after publishing 250 copies of the book. It wasn’t until as late as 1963 that publication of this Indian piece of literature became legal in Britain. Only about 20 percent of the Karma Sutra is devoted to sexual positions the remaining portion is comprised of how to live well, be a good citizen, please a woman and maintain a strong relationship. Among other things the Kama Sutra places great emphasis on achieving orgasm and making love. Describing it as a “divine union.” It names 64 Arts, which include eight ways of making love, with a sexual position for each. The book goes further into the act of making love by offering tips, like biting and scratching to spice up the experience and insisting on rules and customs, like maintaining high standards of cleanliness. It even includes early recipes for Viagra-like substances and safety precautions involved with the attempt of certain positions during intercourse.
hormones.” she states. “These hormones act like a rush of cocaine by making one experience a temporary high.” This “temporary high” is a large part of what makes sex so enjoyable. As animals built to reproduce, it makes sense for us to want to have sex. The purpose of the Karma Sutra is to act as a wide anecdote to our human condition. As a species, we have adapted to form strong attachments, act on our libidos and form romantic feelings. The Karma Sutra teaches us how to be better at reproducing. Although our love lives may plague us and burden us at times, they are what make us human. Modem scientific research supplements the knowledge recorded in the Karma Sutra to provide an understanding of human sexuality.
Today, the fascination with sex tips is very popular. One need only look to the media in order to gather information about how to make intercourse more pleasurable and passionate. Particularly, the subject area of how to achieve an orgasm has been analyzed from various perspectives. Much research bas been done to discover the mystery behind the big “O.” Dr. Helen Fisher praises the Kama Sutra for providing basic guidelines to achieve and prolong orgasm. “Orgasm is basically a rush of dopamine, vasopressin and oxytocin 13
Photography by Nadia Ho
PLAYING PRETEND By Dina Fanara
When it comes to sex, each person has his or her own preferences: lights on or off, in bed or on the couch, clothes on or clothes off. But what many people don’t consider when thinking about sex are the types of clothing that may come into play. Costumes in the bedroom can add excitement to an old relationship or act as a creative twist to a new fling. Whatever the reason, it seems that everyone’s got something to say about it. “It adds to the relationship, or sex life at least,” said Manchester student Mia R. Similarly, Manchester graduate Benjamin M. said, “costumes are a good way to spice up a relationship that’s been going for a long time ... it brings back the feeling of novelty. The first time you have sex with a new partner is exciting; costumes bring that feeling back” Trying something new, be it the experience of role-play or trying out a costume, may also be scary or uncomfortable for some. Comfort and trust both between partners and more importantly with oneself are important. Manchester student Jezebelle L. explains: “Comfort is an important factor with the partner in sex in general, it takes a certain intimacy and confidence to want to do these sorts of things.” Though comfort with your partner is a very important element, comfort and confidence with yourself, according to some students, can make or break the experience. Mia couldn’t have said it better: “If you feel sexy, it will make you feel better ...If you’re not comfortable with your looks, you’re not going to draw the attention.” Roxy M. agreed: “It all comes down to your comfort level with your sexuality.” Wearing a costume can also boost one’s confidence. Roxy also explained that “it takes the responsibility off the person in costume. They are free to potentially say or try something that they normally wouldn’t. They may feel more open to experimenting with different aspects of their sex life, be it through props, positions, music or whatever else they feel may add to the experience.” When it comes to the costumes themselves, there are many different views of what a “costume” can be, from sexy lingerie to outfits from the toy shop to whatever pieces of clothing you may have laying around that resemble some sort of profession or character. As Benjamin M. states, “whatever you can think of, you can impersonate by dressing up as it, this adds the extra fun element.”
While this may be true, many people still have their favorites. John M. admits that his “favorite costumes have to be the school girl, the nurse or the librarian ... with the school girl, innocence comes into play, ‘teach me,’ and the nurse’s angle is ‘I’ll take care of you.”’ Mia and Roxy also agreed, and Roxy added, “I think it’s sometimes about re-enacting that first virgin moment” When it comes to male costumes, the consensus was that men typically dress up as the “hero,” be it the doctor, the police officer, the firefighter or the businessman. However, it seems that female costumes have another angle to them. , Student C.N.B. holds a different, but not uncommon mindset when it comes to costume choices: “Costumes are very cliché - the cop, the nurse. I guess some of them are related to women who hold dominant positions within society, and that’s why they’re sexualized. You don’t really see the housewives, but the French maid. Women in everyday jobs don’t dress as themselves in costumes.” While she agreed that costumes may add some excitement, C.N.B. also believes that “it’s easy for people to hide behind a costume, emotionally and physically.” Though costumes may be all about fun and games, it’s important to remember who is really underneath. Whether you choose to wear costumes to add a little extra spice to your sex life or not, according to Mia, “at the end of it, you’ll still be naked” So get out there and have fun. Photography by Jos Kottmann 16
PASSION PLAY By Aly Walansky
We know that toys can spice up even the spiciest of relationships, but can they be the saving grace for when there is no spice at all? “If she’s having trouble climaxing, she needs to do two things,” says Christan Marashio, creator of moxieinthecity.net, a sex-positive web site that coordinates classes and events geared toward singles and sexuality education in a fun and informal setting. “First, figure out if it an emotional/mental issue or a physical one. She may not have any idea what or where the G-Spot is.” Marashio also explains, “If she’s very ‘in her head’ during sex or masturbation then that’s probably why she’s having difficulty. Relaxation is key. Orgasms require both a relaxed physical and mental state. Yoga is fantastic because it gives you additional flexibility, helps you work on your breathing and leaves you feeling centered. But the best way to give way to your orgasm is to masturbate and become familiar with your own body.” According to Marashio, the majority of women -- actually about 70-75 percent -- do not orgasm from intercourse, and need additional stimulation. “Research has found that many women experience their first orgasm(s) with a vibrator” says Yvonne K Fulbright, author of Sex with Your Ex & 69 Other Tempting Things You Should Never Do. “She’s typically masturbating, so she can explore her body on her own time and without the pressure of a partner to climax. She’s getting to know her body and learns how to turn it on in a way she or her partner can’t in the sack.” Adds Fulbright, “She’s more relaxed because it is a private moment. The toy itself is giving her sensations not yet experienced in the boudoir.” 17
“Toys will, in most cases, help a woman to learn to orgasm,” says LaSara Firefox, author of Sexy Witch and a sex educator (www.lasara. us and sexitupseminar.com). “Overall, the best thing a woman can do to increase her ability to orgasm is to get to know her sexual anatomy. Chapter four of my book, Sexy Witch, covers the benefits of masturbation extensively.” “Sex toys -- vibrators in particular -- are the ‘treatment of choice’ for women who have difficulty orgasming,” says Sandor Gardos, PhD, a sex therapist with mypleasure.com. “On the other hand, if the real issue is that you are having a hard time letting go, then the best advice is to practice, with or without a toy of choice on your own.” Dr Gardos also suggests that you learn what feels good and get in touch with what you need to really be in the moment. “For women who have never used a sex toy before, I would recommend trying out a few on their own at first. Figure out what you like and what works for you so you can show your partner.” LaSara advises that it’s important that we get intimate with our anatomy, and not just in the abstract, either. Getting to know how we work -- what turns us on, how we like to be touched, what feels good -- and increasing our comfort with the visceral reality of our sex is, hands-down, the best way to improve our ability to orgasm. “If you don’t know you’re way around your house, how are you going to be able to give an effective tour?” “Although it’s not often thought of as a sex toy, I always recommend a good lubricant as a place to start,” says Ellen Barnard, MSSW, a sex educator, counselor, and co-owner
of A Woman’s Touch, a sexuality resource center. “Lubricant enhances and increases a woman’s sensation, increases her pleasure, and provides a wonderful introduction to the kinds of pleasures one can find when you add something simple to sex play.”
And best of all, it’s very affordable. For women that prefer vaginal or the combined vaginal and clitoral stimulation, the Rabbit features a rotating shaft for vaginal penetration while also providing the option of using the bunny ears for clitoral stimulation.”
“The G-gasm method is all about pleasing her with toys or fingers, no penis needed,” says Jani (G-gasm.com), author of The G-Gasm Method: Your Ultimate Guide to the G-spot Orgasm and Tonight’s the Night…Your Ultimate Guide to Sexy Kinky Things to do With your Lover.
But if toys don’t work for you, remember you aren’t alone. “There are women who still have trouble climaxing with a toy,” says Fulbright. “Often this is because they have a history of sexual trauma, have major guilt complexes about being sexually active (if even just with themselves), or they have major issues with using a toy and simply can’t relax enough, and get out of their heads enough, to let go and enjoy.”
“A good starter toy is the clit buzzing ‘Slim Line Vibrator’ which comes in assorted colors and is only about £6. To set off some toe curling delight, you need a vibrator with the G-spot curve, to reach and apply the right amount of pressure on the G-spot.” Jani also says that a ‘Body Teaser’ (about £11) is a good beginner toy, “but to really hit the spot, get a “Blue Heaven Rotating Pet Rabbit Vibrator” -- one of these babies will set you back £60 or so, but well worth it for G-spot play -- will produce waves upon waves of G-gasms until eventually you become a puddle, out of breath and exhausted.”
“Be prepared to giggle a bit, and do some learning about your new toy when you first get it,” says A Woman’s Touch’s Ellen Barnard. “Some women experience immediate orgasms the first time they use a vibrator, others need to take time to learn how to use one and how their bodies like to be stimulated. Consider this one more interesting learning experience on the path of a lifetime of pleasure.”
The “best” toy is the one that works best for you. “Before deciding on a first sex toy, a woman needs to understand whether she receives greater pleasure from being stimulated clitorally, vaginally or a combination of both,” says Nicole Matthias, president of BadFun. com, an upscale online adult boutique. “The bullet is a small yet powerful compact vibe that provides powerful clitoral stimulation.
Photography by Phillippe Roy 18
Photography by Akihito Igarashi 19
ANYTIME EVERYWHERE By Maryann Ashley
Marge and Homer were in a rut in their relationship, practically in the bedroom. Then, one day, they got caught in a rainstorm and had to take shelter in a barn loft. A crazy farmer came rushing in with his pitchfork, looking for intruders. Homer and Marge were terrified that they were going to get caught, but they were also getting caught up in the excitement suddenly their sex rut was over. All right, you’re young, so maybe you’re not experiencing a rut quite yet. But does the fear of getting caught in a barn turn you on? Well, you’re not alone. Having sex in public is becoming a more popular trend and it’s definitely been added to a lot of bucket lists. Adrenaline pumping, thee stifled moans and groans, the fear that you’ll be discovered the quiet hope that someone will see you in the middle of the act - these are fairly popular fantasies. I’m pretty sure we’ve all beard stories of mysterious condoms lying on floors at concerts or bars at the end of the night. When and how did that happen!? Or there may be whispers of oral happenings over in the corner, and bathroom stalls that have two pairs of feet moving around in them. You tube even has instructional videos on how to do it properly in public. I did a little survey asking people about the most scandalous place they’ve ever had sex. I also asked them if they had a fantasy location where they’d really like to have sex sometime. There were the standard answers: an elevator, a movie theatre the dressing room at a clothing store, cars parked near high pedestrian traffic, airplanes (is there anyone who doesn’t want to join the Mile High Club?).
But then there were also some unique ones: a gondola in Venice, an amusement park ride, a trampoline, a park bench (In the middle of the day), a golf course. This hot new sex trend is what we typically refer to as exhibitionism, which means deriving sexual gratification from displaying your genitals. This is closely linked to voyeurism, which is when someone takes pleasure in watching an unsuspecting person engaging in some form of sexual activity. Sex In public is a little bit of a variation of both exhibitionism and voyeurism. Maybe you don’t want to shove your genitals in a strangers face, and maybe you don’t want to watch a stranger masturbating, but if the fear of getting caught with your pants off doing the nasty gets you hot, then there’s a little bit of an exhibitionist in you. And if you think it’s sexy when your partner lets you watch them touch themselves, then there’s a bit of a voyeurist in you too. It is often said that the brain is the biggest sex organ, so it’s not a big surprise that people start feeling particularly frisky when they start fooling around In a place where sex us “forbidden.” Getting wrapped up in that constant exhilarating fear of getting caught can make some people get lost In the moment, perhaps even go too far. A lot of people seem to forget that the act is actually illegal. That’s right, you can be charged in Canada for having sex in public The Criminal Code of Canada defines “public places” as “any place to which the public has access as a right or by invitation “ You can 20
be fined up to £2,000 and face a potential imprisonment period of six months. But these laws are in place for a reason. As erotic as it may seem to potentially get caught in public, the people doing the catching don’t necessarily want to see your naked sweaty bodies thrusting on their favorite park bench. It might be really scarring for them; there might even be children around. Take for example the couple that was arrested in December for having sex on a TTC subway platform at 2:30 in the afternoon, there was enough time before their arrest though, for someone to take out their camera phone and film the last little bit of the event, which can now be found online. That being said, I have compiled a list, with the help of my survey group, of some of the top locations for banging in public. But I’m
not going to give you specific locations or all of them so that you can get creative. The use of a tent in a field, woodlands, beaches, university libraries, swimming pools, canoe, the roof of buildings and a golf course but remember it is illegal so be discreet. Now that you know of some potential places to frolic, there are a couple of tips that you should keep in mind. Getaway clothing is the utmost importance. Ladies it will work best if you›re wearing a dress, or a skirt and a loose-fitting top. Gentlemen, you should wear pants you can pull down easily- no belts: they are far too jingly and slow. Fulfilling fantasies is great, and the excitement of having public, scandalous sex can be intense. Just keep in mind that not everyone is going to think it›s so wonderful - the expression Get a Room! exists 22
MASTURBATION STEREOTYPES By Katherine George
It’s that sticky situation that no one wants to talk about, but it’s something almost everyone does. Masturbation is often stigmatized, leading people to feel that it isn’t normal or that it’s unhealthy for an individual to be participating in solo sexual activity. The truth is, however, that masturbation is a completely normal part of life. Although masturbation is usually not a regular topic of conversation for men or women, it’s more frequently teased about between men and sometimes even discussed openly. When it comes to women, however masturbation is often a hushed subject, if it’s discussed at all. It isn’t because women don’t masturbate. In fact, research shows that women will try masturbation at least once in their lives. The National Health and Social Life Survey reported that 58 percent of women don’t participate in regular masturbation habits and that 47 per cent of those who do feel guilty about it. Why do women feel guiltier than men about masturbating? These feelings may occur more frequently in women who are in a committed relationship because they feel like they are betraying their partner in some way. Another reason is simply this ingrained idea that masturbation is not normal behavior. The obvious benefit of masturbation is sensual pleasure, but there are also additional benefits. Masturbation can improve mood, relieve stress, increase sleep, enhance self-esteem and release endorphins in the brain that contribute to feelings of physical and mental wellbeing. More specifically, women who masturbate on a regular basis often report pain relief from menstrual cramps or the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Gloria Brame, PhD and clinical sexologist in Athens, GA. Says that masturbation “relieves stress and keeps everything about your body - your heart rate, blood pressure, reproductive system, brain chemistry - in very good shape.” The benefits of masturbation are plentiful and can be very specific to the individual. In addition, a 2003 Australian study found that men who ejaculated more than five times a week lessened their risk of developing prostate cancer by one third. Evidently, regularly flushing your comes system prevents the build up of cancer-causing chemicals.
Photography by Carlo Nicora 23
But masturbation doesn’t have to be a strictly solo activity; it can also be a great way to spice up one’s sex life with a partner. Mutual
masturbation involves stimulating each other at the same time, creating an intimacy that will not only bring the two of you closer, but will also give you a chance to learn exactly what turns on your partner. An added benefit to mutual masturbation is that it lessens your risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or unexpected pregnancy, to women. Reinforcing the statement that masturbation is a natural human tendency is the fact that children often begin masturbating around eighteen months of age. Surprisingly, masturbation is quite common in young children. These tendencies often peak between the ages of three and five, then decline slowly and soon become frequent again during puberty. In most cases, it is considered normal behavior for children of all ages, although of course, the reason young children masturbate differs greatly from adults.
activity that a majority of individuals - men and women alike - indulge in. The stereotype that men indulge more than women is simply a stereotype; it all depends on the individual. More importantly, it is a part of human nature that can be extremely beneficial in numerous aspects of life. Masturbation is not a secret that needs to be hushed out of reality. Rather, the real secret is that everyoneâ€™s doing it.
There are three main reasons that explain why children begin exercising sexual tendencies that even some adults may not feel comfortable participating in. The first, not surprisingly, is pleasure. Children learn very quickly that certain areas of their body may be more sensitive than other areas, some stimulating pleasurable feelings. Secondly, it can be an effort to self soothe, when upset, tired, bored or feeling stressed in some way. And the most common reason why children may masturbate is exploration. Childrenâ€™s curiosity is never-ending and masturbation is simply a natural curiosity they have about their bodies. Masturbation often conjures up a stereotype of abnormality, when itâ€™s really just a common 24