Page 1

Exploration:

Volume A


Part 2 In Human Body I am above the clouds on this bizarre, peculiar adventure. Moving towards some sort of epic phenomenon.

Part 3

Distorted Reality A voice without a name. As immortal as my life. Come here at long last to summon the wind.

Part 4

A House Gorged With Dreams This great blue world of ours seems a house of leaves... moments before the wind

Part 1 Manic Thoughts Theres only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks hes sane. I know I am Mad.


A voice without a name. As immortal as my life. Come here at long last to summon t h e w i n d.

- Mark Z Danielewsk


a

n

In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In

m In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In human Body In

I n

H

u


B O

D Y


It is moments since I have dreamt. I transcend the physical world, entering into a new realm of pure white spirit, Gently bending and twisting in the milky, white-coated space. My limbs tangled and entwined into one another, building an illusive fantasy of the body. I was free. Red crimson cloth pollutes the fresh clean air, soaring around me as if I was interwoven in some kind of powerful, vicious twister. Sheets of fabric brushing my body, the way in which a painter strokes his brush on his canvas, Freely moving, experiencing a higher level of contact with the beyond, where pairs of opposites are exposed as illusions.

White White

And And Black Black Black Black And And

White White


Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes

Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes Improbable shapes


Checkered squares covering my body like a two-dimensional tile-matching puzzle, resembling mosaic pavements.


Part sculpture.

Part dream.

Unnatural shadows overcast the white, puffy cotton space, in tones of winter sky-grey.

A thick scent of heavy, pungent scorched wood pollutes bitterly into my nostrils,

Part dance. Like some sort of contortionist creating an abnormal form of display with his body.

Bending and infusing myself into the most improbable shapes,

My joints stretch significantly further than normal.

The twisting and untwisting of joints increases my body flow- Exploring and discovering. Lost in the mystery of my soul.

Black smoke infused air pierces through my skin, blazing and fusing into my delicate costal bones, as a tropical storm would rush through the hot mid-August sun.

A powerful scent of fresh petals and tender roses flood my nostrils.


Leaping and springing in momentary insanity.


I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost I am lost


Spiralling in this desecrated, fragmented space buried under the shadows. I am lost. I am lost in this deep unearthly exploration of my unconsciousness. Lifeless trees, and ancient raw barks emerging as limbs from ever tender arms. X-ray mirrors exposing my interior, both captivating and petrifying in equal measures. I am above the clouds on this bizarre, peculiar adventure. Moving towards some sort of epic phenomenon. An unexpected parallel universe where gravity becomes futile. The sense of passing time has vanished with each precious breath. Each moment becoming mystified through these indispensable changes. I am free and I am lost. I see a vague hue of light colour and start sprinting. Sprinting so fast, pulling myself out from beneath the shadowDriving me back to consciousness.


Theres only one difference bewteen a madman and me. The madmad thinks hes sane. I k n o I a m

w

M a d. - Salvador Dali


am at that place again

That place where decisions are made for me, where people are imprisoning me in this unfamiliar, alien environment and depriving me of my liberty. My head is filled with MANIC THOUGHTS, words and possibilities flying everywhere, floating through the air, conjuring fixed and illogical beliefs that I plan to explore later. I believe in reincarnation you know, a greater force- maybe I was a bird before. I am like Superman without the electric blue costume and oversized red cape. You see I have the ability to fly.

I

That place where decisions are made for me, where people are imprisoning me in this unfamiliar, alien environment and depriving me of my liberty. My head is filled with MANIC THOUGHTS, words and possibilities flying everywhere, floating through the air, conjuring fixed and illogical beliefs that I plan to explore later. I believe in reincarnation you know, a greater force- maybe I was a bird before. I am like Superman without the electric blue costume and oversized red cape. You see I have the ability to fly.


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|MANIC THOUGHTS|


[ I ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ STILL ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ GET ]

NIGHTMARES


The thing is, by having a unique and special gift you are automatically percieved as crazy-bizzare right? Anyway, I could see things so clearly before, so vividly with crystal clarity. I could see colours of Midnight Blue and South Sea Green and I was about to show the world xxxxxIxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCOULDxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxFxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxLxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxYxxxxxxxxxxx

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Standing on the edge of the mountain my toes curled over the rough, sharp cut edges, my arms spread out widely prevailing against the indifferent skies as an immense sensation of euphoria built up inside me. Feeling at one with nature, taking in the beautiful landscape that surrounded me, I was about to let my carefree body glide through the impeccable air. Of course, I was in a futile state. High as a kite and now I am back in this place that reminds me of an old onebedroom studio flat that smells like Dettol cleaning products. I feel exhausted from my hypomania state.


F U T I L E S T A T E


I have these great obsessions with designer clothes you know. The “preppy on acid� inhuman kinds of clothes that make me look


like an alien infiltrator falling down the dar k

ye tw d on

er ful

b rab o it h

le


oversizedand unexpected shapes swamp my physique, distended and inflated like a children’s

Twisted, fun house mirror.


IT’S HAPPENNING AGAIN.

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’S HAPPENNING AGAIN IT’S HAPPEN

IT’S HAPPENNING AGAIN. IT

NING AGAIN. IT’S HAPPENNING AGAIN... Kaleidoscope prints and sci-fi metallic fabrics, mixed with a dark urban mood inspired by militant rap and breakdances are buried inside my closet room doors. I have these great impulsive desires that build up inside, to touch and feel and smell and get lost in my masterpieces. I pretend I am wrapped up in a freshly cut pineapple, sending sweet and bitter tastes to my tongue. I like to bury myself beneath them, covering the space around me in brightly coloured objects like a Bowerbird would in an attempt to attract his mate.

My thoughts are becoming disturbed. Disturbed by this strong, overwhelming mechanical smell. So strong it blocked and obstructed my throat. My thoughts snapping away like branches, until there is nothing, just an empty hollow brain waiting and expecting this unearthly creature.


XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX


I am trapped indefinitely in this enclosed, restricted dark space.

A sense of death and violence overpowers me. The four are walls closing in on me. I feel claustrophobic. I see sketches, hundreds of obscure hollow room sketches filtering out of their opened safety deposit boxes.

Tightly wrapped jeans suffocating and eating away at my plastic surface legs, wet with deformation as if they had just been plunged into a scorching hot filled bath. I rapidly start covering myself in quilted, padded layers. My hooded puffed bubble jacket locked and fastened securely. Hoping to block out the terrifying creatures of the night.

The colour of gloom and doom welcoming troubled and oddly worlds into my multi tower bolted, locked room door. Burning holes start cutting through my textured clothes.

MY THOUGHTS ARE BECOMING DISTURBED.


Waiting for this nightmare to pass, just as a brightly coloured Jack waits patiently to

P M U J

OU

Of his woo

den squar e box.

Its not me

it’s the bi-

polar!

T


my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Exp loring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring

ploring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring

my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Exploring my interior Ex


This great blue world of ours seems a house of leaves... moments before the w i n d - Mark Z Danielewsk


I am alone the

hallway;

everything’s got darker.

in just

considerably I

am

moving

towards the faintest flicker of

crepuscular

light,

keeping

my eyes focused on the walls beside me, guiding me through this unknown exploration. Maybe something lies behind them, some open light space with each eye building a different perception. Upon walking, I discover a cavelike entrance, which I had not seen before. No ceiling. No doorway-just complete darkness. I step through this exposed fissure, my eyes pinned on darkness and everything drastically starts to change, like some kind of psychedelic, hypnotic trance, providing routes to the unknown.

HOUSE GORGED WITH DREAMS

A


Other lands sweeping through my house, filling each wall carefully

My house is an artificial imitation of the

covering them in colours: Celosia

Universe. Gravity is no longer a force

Orange, Freesia Yellow, Elite Red,

as I float up to Jupiter on this peculiar

Midnight Blue and Emerald Green.

voyage to space.

Neutral floral patterns engraved in the scales of dragons spectacularly and unavoidably start forming grand-scale ogee trellises. They slither rapidly up my grand living room walls. Crystal glass doves start shattering from my ceiling, falling down like celestial angels, just as beads of sugar would drop from my pink stained lips, glistening, raining and

I see spacemen. Hundreds of spacemen locked away in gravity filled containers. Dressed in air tight, bright white jump suits, moon boots thick and heavy to deflect the solar radiation waves bouncing of my ceiling. They are discovering and exploring the possibilities of my interior.

uncovering a hidden reality. Overgrown

Wonderlands

of

oversized

objects

banana trees welded and infused into

covered in angular geometric prints

my almighty steal grounds, composed

come to life. It’s just like something

and compressed out of ancient derelict

out of Beauty and The Beast, where

cars and precious vivid gems. The floor

the Enchantress turns all the Beasts

beneath me plummets and descends

servants into furniture. Human legs

me into a mesmerizing black and white

start slithering out from under my sofas,

void, spiraling me into oblivion. My

climbing out from their usual hiding

house is no longer seen as domestic and

places. My house is where the unheard-

secure rather an intoxicating village

of happens. A place people only see in

born out of the non-existent light.

their wildest dreams.


in front of this cave-like entrance

I am back in the hallway. Standing


Although it’s much lighter this time and I am not alone. Neon beams are flashing before my eyes and people are diverting past me, dancing and drinking out of plastic blue cups. I hear sounds. Electronic beat sounds pulsing through my body and I am wondering if what I had just seen was a fixation of my own imagination.


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