EASTERN EYE June 13, 2008
with a bit of slap and skimpy clothes walks by, or when you open a male mag, your eyes pop out of your sockets and your tongues hang out. And when a girl in skimpy clothes walks into a club, you don’t look the other way just to avoid a fight, do you?
male friend: Having a close ‘platonic’ female friend is never a good thing. Seriously, she probably fancies you and hates us for spending time with you. How would you like it if we got a ‘platonic’ male friend we shared our feelings with and cuddled for no particular reason?
BEAUTY With SHOPHalimah A
I have dry skin on my feet and they look awful. How can I improve their appearance without a pedicure? Fill up a bucket with warm soapy water and soak your feet for about 10-15 minutes, then scrub with a pumice stone in a gentle circular motion. Use a foot scrub to slough away dead skin cells – leave it on for about five minutes before washing off. File your nails straight across, apply cuticle oil and push back any dead skin using an orange stick. Pat your feet dry, apply a heel balm and then massage in a rich foot balm. Put socks on and
leave them overnight. At first this can be done every few days to rapidly improve the appearance of your feet, then cut it down to a weekly treatment. Products to try: Boots Gorgeous Feet Outstanding Overnight Rescue (£5.99) is a great product to treat feet. Another great one from the same store is Boots Gorgeous Feet Seriously Smooth Foot Scrub (£4.29, pictured). Halimah A does hair, henna and make-up for weddings and other occasions. Contact her on www.henna-h.com
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by ZEKRA RAHMAN IF you listen to a group of women talking over dinner or drinks, the chances are the topic will turn to men at some point. In most cases, it will eventually end up being a ranting session about how difficult it is to find good men to date. This then leads to a full-on list of traits and habits guys possess that are annoying as hell to their partners. Last week, the boys told us what they don’t like about women. This week, we girls get our own back… The way you are easily amused by crude humour: When you find farting, burping, belching and sweating really funny, the annoying kid in you comes out and we wish that you would just grow up. Your need to educate us on sport: Unless we ask, don’t teach us the offside rule because the chances are that we don’t really care. While you are enthusiastically trying to get us into the ‘beautiful’ game, we are getting on with our lives and thinking about how you should get a life. Heavy drinkers: Once you’ve had a few drinks, you turn into raging sex pigs. Letting your hormones take over and stinking of booze are not attractive things in a man. And men who become aggressive and think they can take on anyone only scare us. Wolf whistling: What is up with this cave-man attitude? Men who think we enjoy this kind of attention are never going to get a date. It is disrespectful, makes us feel cheap and confirms that you are far from being a gentleman. The hangers-on and your friends who are always there: It is like they have a compulsive need to spend more time with you than we do. When they keep asking, ‘let’s have another game’, why can’t you have the strength of character to tell them to go away?
KEEPING THE MAGIC SECRET WOMEN are always interested in finding out about the great chat-up lines, techniques and methods employed by successful players. This not only gives them an added advantage in the dating game but also allows them to strengthen their defences and get a useful insight into the male psyche. But, guess what ladies, you’re not going to find out any of those secrets today – that would be like a magician letting you know how he does all his wonderful tricks. The main reason I’m not going to tell you about the tricks of the trade is denial on your part. When women discover some of the secret ploys men employ, they dismiss them even though they work most of the time. Many go into such a state of denial when they find out about our really good pickup secrets that they fall for them again. The magic ingredient that makes all the secrets work is
confidence. Using great techniques, secrets and pick-up lines with no confidence is like having a Formula One car without fuel – it looks good but won’t get you very far. But you can’t be overconfident because there is a fine line between being self-assured and being annoyingly arrogant. There is an even finer line between arrogance and being lecherous, so you need to back up the confidence with style and control. However, sometimes confidence alone isn’t enough to sweep all before you. In order to win over the really tough women, you need to have a sixth sense that will enable you to anticipate their next move. This will not only allow a good player to stay a step ahead but will also enable him to hide all the wonderful tricks that dazzle women into dating him. Send your dating secrets and stories to player’s lounge on firstname.lastname@example.org
Old-fashioned men: Your woman is not your maid. All those men who are still living in the Stone Age and expect us to do all the cooking and cleaning really need to get a reality check. Wake up, this is the 21st century and it’s about time you picked up a broom and a pot yourself. Cheap cologne: We can smell your cheap cologne from miles away. Old Spice is the worst of the offenders. Your need to approve of our dress sense and make-up: Why is it one rule for your girl and another for everyone else? When a high-street honey
Hypocrites: Men who sleep around but want to marry a virgin – the perfect definition of double standards. Men who are not assertive enough: Being passive, insecure and never having a suggestion or preference for where to go on a date is very annoying. Deferring to a woman’s every wish and expectation makes you predictable and boring. A confident man who demonstrates uniqueness, is full of surprises and a sense of adventure is much more fun to be around. Men who are too much in touch with their feminine side: Being sensitive and understanding is one thing, but a woman certainly doesn’t want to come home and see her man dressed in her choori pajama practicing the latest Bollywood dance moves. She wants a man who is manly and strong. Your incapability to handle rejection: A woman will pig out over a tub of ice cream and be upset for a little while to get over heartbreak, but a man turns bitter and does everything in his capacity to make you feel guilty and turn your life into a living hell. Your outdated shoes: A woman can tell what kind of a guy you are from your shoes, so guys, please update them regularly. High tops, flip flops with socks or really old, no-name trainers will never float our boat. Dirty scabby fingernails: Why do some guys grow their pinky nails? So they can pick their nose? Snoring men: Forget complaining about a dead arm when you have to cuddle, how do you expect us to get a good night sleep if you don’t shut up throughout the night? When we tell you (or nudge you) about the snoring, you stop for about 30 seconds and then you’re off again. Moustaches: You complain that our make-up leaves stains on your clothes but your moustaches leave rashes on the tender skin of our faces. That’s ten times worse.
Your lechy mates: He might be a childhood friend who makes everyone laugh, but when you’re not looking, he is staring down our top. Your inability to multi-task: So, you can’t live without a Playstation, but why does that mean you can’t answer when we are speaking to you? We understand that everyone has a right to pick their own leisure activities, but when you can’t even acknowledge our existence, it’s hard not to complain. Men who can’t look after themselves: Men who rely on women to fund, feed, and drive them around are a burden we would rather avoid. When you accuse us of being feminists: When we stand up for ourselves, or make a valid point about mankind, many men are quick to label us as feminists. Just because we have a point of view it doesn’t make us man-haters. Men with communication problems: You may not like talking but silence, one-word answers or a ‘taking a break’ are not really the most productive ways to solve relationship problems. Being an introvert, always putting up a barrier and holding back when a woman tries to make conversation isn’t exactly the best way to hit it off. Men who speak for us: When a man orders our food for us without asking us first, we lose our appetite. There’s no point in taking us out to fancy restaurants if you are going to deny us the freedom of eating what we want. Mummy’s boys: Not wanting to move out of your family home and constantly comparing us to your mum are not endearing. You’re a grown-up man now, not a child!
What women Your nice, always attentive fe-
Impatient men: You turn up late but expect us to be ready. You made us wait for you so now that it’s your turn,
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