Page 1

Index Page 4 Top ten useful and,

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Page 24

Take a break and head to

thankfully, free apps

The top five songs to listen to while studying

by Haley Sheffield

by Willie Howell

by Will Houp

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style with a custom-made board

by Heather Teshera

Creative, affordable Christmas gifts for college students by Tessa Caroll

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Asbury students share their most embarrassing college-related stories by Melissa Landon

Page 10

A guide to procrastinate well all week long by Erika Graham

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Creative ways to de-stress and enjoy life by Katelyn Cook

Page 13

Six intriguing college courses you won’t find at Asbury by Shelby Wright

Play Monopoly Asbury

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these local hot spots

Uncover a few mysteries of Asbury’s past

Page 28

Moving to Kentucky results in culture shock

Improve your dorm with

by Alexis Witman

by Anna Bloom

Page 20

Page 30

by Aubrey Hillis


Custom-made shakes that melt in your mouth like candy

Page 22

Relieve your stress with a few yoga moves by Brittany Howard

Page 23

The curious part we play in sports by Hayes Creech

these tips

Asburyopoly pieces

Riah Lawry - Graphic design consultant and biographies photographer

Sam Withey - Front and back cover photographer

Jane Brannen - Cover and Asburyopoly design Bethany Smith - Cover model Alex Heath - Asburyopoly man Courtney LeMay - Copy editor David Wheeler - Course instructor

Letter from the Editor By Anna Leon, Asbury Collegian Executive Editor


he difference between finals week in the fall and spring semesters is about as drastic as the difference between the Hulk and Thumbelina. In the spring, the weather is warm; breezes waft through soft, green leaves; birds sing; and the prospect of summer and freedom peers all too enticingly from every page in our textbooks. In the fall, it’s cold; icy winds knife through the thickest layers; tree branches shatter if you touch them; birds lie dead on the ground; and we’ve not even entered the winter season. I’d like to offer a few words of encouragement: winter may be bitterly cold, icy, dangerous for walking or driving, dreary and a loving nurturer of the flu, but it isn’t all bad. For one, there’s Christmas! I think I like the Christmas preparations almost more than the day itself. The kitchen smells heavenly for at least a week prior, as we bake pies, breads, casseroles and cookies enough to feed every giant the fairy tales have ever imagined. Returning from caroling to wrap our stiff

hands around mugs of hot chocolate; sitting around the fireside with friends and a deck of cards; holding my little brother in my lap as my mom reads a story aloud at night; there’s something so satisfyingly nostalgic about this time of year. Lately I’ve wondered, though, why we associate these things exclusively with Christmas. Christmas ends, January

“Just because it’s finals week doesn’t mean we all have to fall prey to the zombie craze.” comes, and whump! The spring semester squashes us flat and we soldier on to the distant hope of sunlight that actually warms our skin. Christmas ends and winter has barely begun, but is this such a bad thing? Maybe trees are so brittle that the branches litter all the sidewalks, but there is an austere beauty when everything is covered in

ice and snow. The monochromatic color scheme may seem insufferably drab, but what if we took a minute to appreciate the lines and symmetry that show more clearly now, without saturated color to distract us? Finding a fireside to congregate around may be a little difficult at school, but friends are hardly in short supply, and you can buy a tub of Swiss Miss from just about anywhere for a tiny fraction of your biweekly salary. Here’s my brilliant idea: just because it’s finals week doesn’t mean we all have to fall prey to the zombie craze. Take a break from your diligent studying to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation around us, whether it’s nature or your fellow inhabitants of Asbury’s campus. It’s good to have hope for good things to come, but if we live in a constant state of anticipation, than we lose the opportunity to catch the blessings of every present moment. In the words of the great poet, Bobby McFerrin, “When you worry, your face will frown, and that will bring everybody down. So don’t worry; be happy.”








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Nike Boom: Syncs your music to your workouts, with famous athletes and coaches motivating you along the way. Throughout your workout you’ll get blasts of motivation from the athletes you select, pushing you to drive harder and keep your eyes on the prize.

Instagram: Edit your photos with effects and filters to create amazinglooking images. Easily upload to Facebook, Twitter and other social networking products. Transform an average image into a custom work of art.

Starbucks Mobile Pay: The fastest way to get your Starbucks: just scan and go. Manage your Starbucks balance and reload your card. This app also includes a store locator, “perfect-drink-builder,” job opportunity search, nutritional facts, and menu browser.




RedBox: Detects your current location and suggests the nearest RedBox locations for you to choose from. Reserve your DVD(s) at your desired location. This app also allows one to save locations as “favorites” for quick reference.

Pinterest: This rising trend of “pinning” things that catch your eye is a concept similar to bookmarking. By “pinning” anything from places to visit, shopping, crafts, fashion, recipes, wedding ideas and parties, Pinterest allows you to reference these items again later on and share them with your followers.

Pizza Finder: This app identifies your location, provides you with a list of pizza restaurants nearby, and allows you to call them with one screen tap. Listings include specials, delivery options and ratings.

Red Laser BarCode Scanner: Uses state-ofthe-art barcode recognition that reads almost any barcode and searches for low prices from hundreds of retailers. Red Laser also provides nutritional facts for food items.


Epicurious Recipes: This next-generation kitchen companion enables food lovers to search for professionally created and tested recipes, make interactive shopping lists, follow step-by-step stove-side instructions, and sync to your online recipe box. Search over 30,000 food and drink recipes or browse categories by skill level and theme, then save and share your favorites.

iFlashcards: Create your own flashcards and carry them wherever you go. Ability to include images, mixand-match cards, color coordinate and search by keywords. This will boost your proficiency, enabling you to study anywhere, even if you’re away from your books.

GasBag: Find the cheapest gas near you. If that isn’t enough, this app allows you to search for a specific type of gas, log your mileage and gas expenses, and track the efficiency of your car—or maybe lack thereof.

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the of

by Tessa Carroll

Creative Gift Ideas for College Students


hen it comes to Christmas gifts, people often experience two emotions. One is pure excitement because you are nally going to get that shiny new iPad 2 you have been wanting for FOREVER. However, after you nish thinking about all the amazing apps you are going to download (see Haley’s article for the best ones), the second emotion slowly comes over you like a very unwelcome wet blanket: panic. How in the world are you going to afford Christmas presents for everyone on your list? Especially those people who seem to have everything? (Seriously, the only thing they don’t have is the moon!) Well, usually at this point I start going into what my mom likes to call my “Drama Queen Stage.” I make mountains out of molehills, cry over broken pencils, eat as much chocolate as I can find and somehow I end

up on the floor. Every time. Never fails. Don’t believe me? Ask my mom. She’ll tell you all about my search for my prom dress and how I told the whole world I was going in a burlap sack! Thankfully it never came down to that, but you get my point. Ok, now before you order your own burlap sack (or whatever it is you do), know that there is an answer: homemade gifts! Now don’t roll your eyes at me; I’m

serious! Try something new this year and make a gift that is not only unique and perfect for each person on your list, but also CHEAP! As a college student, I know the joys of finding a quarter on the street to put towards your laundry fund, and any way to keep that fund above the red line is a definite plus. You may still be skeptical at this point, but trust me, I have searched high and low for the best homemade gifts, and I’ve finally found the perfect ones that are easy, cheap and will leave everyone asking, “You made that?” So get out that Christmas list of yours and head into this holiday season with confidence. As for finals stress… we can wear our burlap sacks together.

...make a gift that is unique and perfect for each person on your list, but most importantly CHEAP! Chocolate Covered Spoons

Go to my Pinterest site at tessagrace/ homemade-gifts There you will find more detailed instructions on the gifts I’ve already posted plus much more!

This is a simple but brilliant gift that adds extra flavor to any warm drink. Simply melt chocolate in a pot and stir spoons around in the melted chocolate. You need to make sure there is enough melted chocolate to fully submerge the spoon. Place spoons on a sheet and place in freezer until hardened. You can add anything you want to the spoons, like bits of candy canes or cinnamon—the possibilities are endless!

52 Reasons To Love You Here’s a great idea for that special person in your life to show them just how much you love them. On different pieces of paper write encouraging words, what you love about them, special memories, etc. Take that paper and glue it to a card. Hole punch each card once or twice, depending on how you want to put them together. Then stick rings or ribbons in the holes to make it into a book. Get creative with it; it can be as colorful and crazy as you want!

Lemon Sugar and Scrub This gift is great for all the ladies on your list. Begin by mixing 2 1/2 cups of sugar with 1 cup of oil (any kind of cooking oil. I don’t recommend olive oil; the scent is a little too strong). Add in 4 tablespoons of lemon juice (or peppermint extract for a more Christmas-y feel). This mixture will make enough to fill a 12-ounce Mason Jar, and you’ll have just enough left over to clean your hands afterwards too!

Cupcake in a Cup Place 1/2 cup of dry cake mix (your choice) in one plastic bag and 1/2 cup of icing (again, your choice) in the other. Tie them both with a colorful ribbon and place inside a large microwavesafe ceramic mug. On a note card, write these instructions: “Empty the contents of the cake mix bag into the cup. Add 1 egg yolk, 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil (found on the omelet bar in the caf), and 1 1/2 tablespoons of water. Mix well, approximately one minute. Microwave for two minutes on full power or until cooked through. Use caution in removing the cup from the microwave, as it is hot. Allow the cake to cool for one minute. Add icing and enjoy!”

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A Trip Down Awkward Lane... Students share their most embarrassing stories By Melissa Landon


ave you ever tripped down the stairs in the cafeteria and spilled whatever food you’d just gotten from the grille? Have you ever sat in quantum physics class in room 201 for ten minutes only to realize that you belonged in room 301? You’re not alone because everyone does dumb stuff ! And some people are willing to share.

Chris Wiley’s towel troubles Open dorm is great, except when you don’t know about it. Senior Chris Wiley had no idea that his hall would be full of tons of people—including girls—when he exited the bathroom in his towel after his shower. He said he just acted like it was not a big deal and walked down the hall. His resident director talked to him about it later. One more reason, ladies and gentlemen, that you should check your email obsessively, so you’ll know when the entire campus is going to visit your dorm. Or just bring a bathrobe.

Trevor Hudson turns a blind eye

Trevor’s story occurred at the beginning of his freshman year during the T.A.G. scavenger hunt event. Trevor said, “I told myself I was going to get rid of the image I’d had of the uncoordinated and goofy guy.” He was outside the old Corbitt building, and “because I’m blind in my right eye, and I wasn’t paying attention, I smashed my face right into the big satellite dish outside Corbitt.” Then he fell down. How many people were there to see it? “Tons—everyone doing the scavenger hunt was there. So, like every T.A.G. group!” Trevor pointed to his face. “I had a bruise from here”—he points at his eyebrows—“to here”—he points to his hairline—“for like two weeks.”

Becca Richards eats a napkin

Becca recounted the events preceding and following the day she ate an entire napkin—without knowing it. One day at lunch, Becca went to go get a drink and left her sandwich sitting on the table. Her friends put an Asbury College napkin

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Photo by Melissa Landon

in her sandwich. “Supposedly … the napkin was sticking out of the end of the sandwich,” Becca said. She ate every bit of it. Did her friends tell her afterwards? No, they just told everyone else. One day “about two months later,” Becca was eating dinner with friends. One of them decided to tell the napkin story, and everyone at the table burst out laughing. “It was embarrassing … I was so shocked,” she said. “Everyone knew about it, even people I didn’t know!” Becca said people would walk up to her and say, “’You’re that napkin girl, aren’t you?’” The napkin ordeal started a bit of a feud between Becca and the “mastermind” behind the prank, and the ongoing shenanigans have included CPOed napkins, TPed dorm rooms, and even broccoli in pockets. The feud continues to this day.

Lindsey McKenzie’s dive of shame Lindsey told a story about when she was walking out of the cafeteria one time, and she “thought it would be really cool to try to jump over the cement barrier-thing.” Unfortunately, when she tried to do that, her flip-flop got caught, and she did a flip and landed flat on her back. She said it was painful and really embarrassing because people probably saw her dive of shame, including the Russian judge, who gave her a 4.5. “My life is an embarrassing moment!” Lindsey said.

Josh Jones speaks Irish?

Josh shared one story from the beginning of his first year at Asbury. He was at the progressive dinner T.A.G. event with his group at one of the student centers, and he was

meeting a lot of different people. He was also learning the names of some attractive girls, and they were talking about where they were from. Josh said, “One said she was from Ireland. I asked, ‘What language do they speak in Ireland?’ And she said, ‘Uh, English…’” Oops, another setback for AngloAmerican relations.

Jon Ramsey and Joel Archer mistake Sarah-Johnson for Johnson

Jon and Joel were visiting the college as prospective students during scholarship weekend several years ago. It was a cold night, so they quickly entered the Johnson building right below Johnson 2nd East, not realizing they were about

to walk into Sarah Johnson, a girl’s hall. Jon said, “We walked right in and were rather shocked to see girls there … We were soon made aware of our mistake.”

What’s your story? So next time you call one of your classmates the wrong name or walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe, remember that these things happen to the best of us. Just laugh it off and forget about it. Or tell the story to someone writing an article so everyone else can laugh, too.

How many of these epic fail moments have you experienced? Slept through an exam.

Had your phone go off in the middle of chapel.

Called your professor the wrong name.

Completely forgot what you were talking about in the middle of a speech.

Tripped up the stairs in front of a total stranger.

Sneezed on the person in front of you.

And now for your score:

0-1 : You’re lyin’.

2-3: Pretty darn embarrassing.

4-5: You crazy.

6: Seriously!? The Squeeze | 9

Procrastination is often synonymous with late nights, caffeine overdoses and feelings of deep regret, but to many students, this has become a normal routine. The seasoned procrastinator is well-versed in methods to effectively complete assignments in the last minute during the semester, but finals week requires an expertly developed strategic plan in order to conquer five consecutive days of due dates.


That coveted plan has finally been published and is yours to adopt. Each day of the week contains a scenario and a solution to efficiently study for a final and not miss out on the social activity that all of your suspiciously stress-free friends are planning for the night.




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PLAN: YouTube is a masterful teacher when it comes to learning by visual examples. The final requires a working knowledge of everything from cell reproduction to identification of frog organs, and I can’t think of a better way to learn all of these concepts than by watching videos like Cell, Cell Baby, or How to Dissect a Frog: Ninja Style. You might miss a few small details on the test, but these videos have got the basics covered and take a maximum of twenty minutes to sit down and watch.


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Cruise Through Finals

by Katelyn Cook


s the end of the fall semester quickly approaches, many college students often become lethargic and uninspired. They desperately yearn to crawl back into the comfort of their warm beds. I can relate to this feeling of disenchantment. These cold, tiresome days seem to continue forever. However, we should find better solutions to cure our fatigue and temporary woes. We can assuage the stress from school by discarding negativity and replacing it with ingenuity.

Faithful Friends

Photograph by Brandon Cook Ginger was adopted from Little Victories, an animal rescue group, in my hometown.

Charles Shultz, the cartoonist of Peanuts, once said, “Happiness is a warm puppy.” Many individuals agree that dogs provide comfort and companionship; I have always held a special place in my heart for dogs. I have fond memories of watching movies such as “All Dogs Go to Heaven,” “Shiloh” and “Where the Red Fern Grows.” Dogs possess a cathartic quality about them by enabling individuals to experience feelings of unabated euphoria. Some people share my same love for dogs. The student members at Chapman University’s Active Minds Club, a group that promotes mental awareness, organize an annual event called “Furry Friends for Finals.” Puppies & Reptiles for Parties, a company based in Torrance, Calif., provides students with several dogs for a few hours during finals week. The club members also distribute informative pamphlets that discuss ways to reduce stress. A puppy would be a great gift to ask your parents for this Christmas. How can you reject a loving, adorable creature?

Shout It Out Do you ever feel a strong need or desire to scream very loudly? Screaming could be the solution to all of your problems. Stanford, Harvard and Northwestern University participate in a unified “primal scream.” Students at these schools gather during midnight of finals week to scream for a few minutes. This tradition has continued for years. Scream therapy is beneficial for relieving stress and tension. Are you willing to scream? I can’t hear you! I would like to see Asburians participate in this fun event. You can RSVP to my event on Facebook and make this “primal scream” an official event on Asbury’s campus! We can congregate together on Reasoner Green during one night of finals week. Even if you can’t attend this glorified scream fest, don’t fret; you can always scream into your pillow without disturbing your roommate.

De-Stress Fest Rutgers University organizes a ten-day event for students called “De-Stress Fest.” Health advocates teach students how to make stress balls. At this event, students can beat on drums or paint a mural. Massage therapists provide students with free massages. They can participate in yoga classes. Asbury students can participate in similar events too. Yoga classes are offered in the Luce Center. Students can make appointments at a local spa for a massage. If a student is willing to spend a little extra money, then he or she can unwind by getting a back massage. It is worth the splurge to ease the discomfort of finals week.

Stay Motivated It is important to approach the exams with a positive attitude. Even though it is stressful, it can also be fun and enjoyable. You should study hard and remain focused, but you should allow yourself time to meditate and relax as well. Quirky ideas for relaxation can sometimes be just the thing you need. We all hope to maintain a respectable level of sanity throughout this week. Your friends may believe the rumors of your demise if you never escape from the confines of your dorm room. It is better to be refreshed and renewed. Don’t forget that we are all in this together. Let’s make the most out of our time by finding serenity amid all the chaos.

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Spas in Lexington:

Alure Salon and Spa Day: Seasons Salon and Spa: Posh Salon and Spa: Euphoria Salon and Spa:

Six college courses you won’t find at

ASBURY By Shelby Wright Pick a major, any major, and you’re likely to receive comments from many family members. Granted, it can get frustrating defending classes year after year. So wouldn’t you love to take a class on Piracy or YouTube and explain to your parents that you’re taking it because you “have to!” Here at Asbury, your chances of taking a course on getting dressed or arguing with Judge Judy is pretty slim, but you can dream—dream of a test where you’re graded for all of your “research” on Facebook and YouTube. Dream of a week of nals in these actual classes: the six best classes you wish you could take.


Age of Piracy

Whether they be from Penzance or the Caribbean, swashbuckling buccaneers have wooed the 21st century. This Arizona State University course delves deeper into the real and much less glamorous lives of true pirates.

4. Judge Judy

“Popular ‘Logic’ on TV Judge Shows”—don’t act like you’ve never been home on a weekday at two o’clock. Too embarrassed to watch soap operas, you ip on “The People’s Court” or “Judge Judy.” While the legal aspects may not entice you, I’m sure you love it when Judge Judy gets into it with the defendant. This University of California, Berkeley course takes a look at people’s “logic” in courtroom defense and why they respond the way they do when asked certain questions.

2. YouTube

3. Harry Potter

Just in case you never hopped on the YouTube bandwagon and learned how to Rick Roll someone, this course teaches you how to engage a culture using YouTube. Pitzer College students are also required to upload their own videos as homework.

Portkeys, Apparation, Floo Powder and Broomsticks: how does it all work? Luckily, this seminar at Frostberg State University breaks down the magic of Harry Potter using the basic principles of physics (oxymoron, anyone?) And you thought Hermione was a nerd.

5. Getting Dressed

6. The Apocalypse

Between Western Classics and Quantum Physics, who really has time to perfect the art of getting dressed? Never fear, Princeton is here and offering a course that is said to put you in touch with your memory, personal history, and social phenomena such as fashion. Though it is to be assumed that a person accepted to Princeton would be fully able to dress himself or herself, it’s safe to say that it is a timeless skill that should always remain fresh in our memory.

“It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel ne)” is the actual name of the course. No, really. This Alfred Unversity [New York] course studies the reasons behind the fascination of the “apocalypse now” mentality in modern day society, using sources such as the Old Testament, the movie Armageddon, and my suggestion for this year’s new course reference: Harold Camping.

The Squeeze | 13

Uncle Willie’s Top Five Study Jams From the time Ug and Og used to jump around the fire and beat drums to escape the nagging of their hairy cavewomen, music has been an integral part in managing life’s downs. So, take a quick break from that 35-page course summary; kick your feet up and let some of my favorite uplifting tunes mellow your mood. This is Uncle Willie’s Top Five Finals Week Study Jams.

By Willie Howell


Bob Marley – Is This Love?


Steve Winwood - Higher Love

No question about it, this song is number one. I don’t think it’s possible to listen to this song without feeling de-stressed. Written by Bob Marley, the original third-world superstar who brought reggae to the masses, this island jam has a groove and a message

In my mind, the ‘80s music scene was a utopian paradise, where everyone was happy, fun-loving and frizzy haired and where the synthesizer reigned as king. Steve Winwood’s classic, “Higher Love,” takes us

14 | The Squeeze

that withstands the test of time. As we all know, Marley had a very famous habit of relieving stress in a different way than music, but I won’t go into that. From the very first slap of the snare, this song puts me in a trance. A steady drumbeat, filled with the slap of

back to 1986. When you are feeling overwhelmed in your studies—or in life for that matter, try to surround yourself with music that picks you up instead of sinking you deeper into sadness. If you just broke up with

rimshots and woodblocks, moves like a mellow train beneath a melodic island guitar-line. In the dead of winter during a week of constant brain-picking and scrambling, this song serves as a warm and welcome Caribbean breeze. My life was forever changed

your girlfriend, listening to Damien Rice for three weeks straight probably wouldn’t be a great idea. Higher Love is the definition of a feel good song. From the very beginning of the song, a vibrant and busy rhythm section leads

after my Papua New Guinean friend Richard introduced me to Marley’s greatest hits album, “Legend.” Although it took me some time, I was eventually hooked on reggae, a music that has since opened my ears to a world of musical styles from hundreds of countries.

you into the hook, a bubble-gum ‘80s dance groove, down to the keyboard horn-effects and slap-bass. Disclaimer: You are not too cool to listen to ‘80s music and actually enjoy it. Whoever told you that was lying.


Leonard cohen - Hallelujah

One of the greatest and most-covered songwriters in recent music history, Leonard Cohen rose to prominence in the early ‘60s. This, his most famous song, is

nothing short of a masterpiece. Ladies might not sympathize with his gruff voice, but to men, his bottom-ofthe-barrel vocals smack of wisdom and of years of living.

To hear this voice halfsinging, half-speaking poetry over a smoky, slowmoving bass line is a moving experience. Cohen’s sounds like a father should, and if you aren’t moved by this

song, you should check your vital signs. Focusing your mind on a beautiful and artistic song can set your mind straight just as well as a song that makes you dance.


James brown - Papa’s got a brand new bag


Tracy Chapman - I’m ready

In 1965, the King of Soul was at the top of his game. Sure to shake the frown from even the coldest of faces, “Papa’s

Tracy Chapman broke onto the scene in the early ‘90s with her songs of revolution and social justice. She gained many admirers with her humble personality and earthy style of songwriting. Few have

Got a Brand New Bag” is a perfect jam to get you out of your seat. The funky scream of saxophones and the rest of the horn section echoes

a voice and style so natural and soulful. Everyone remembers “Fast Car,” but fewer have taken the time to listen to Tracy’s larger body of work. “I’m Ready” is a peaceful and relaxing song off of the

over a polished and groovy rhythm. In the words of Mr. Brown himself, “get up off of that thing!” and shake off the finals week blues. Whether

album “New Beginning.” A lone acoustic guitar opens the song, and soon Tracy’s smooth and sultry vocals gently sweep you away into a place of peace. For years, this song has been a haven for me. Moments of medita-

you’re in the cafeteria, library, classroom or gym, dancing like you’ve lost your mind is probably appropriate.

tion and mental clarity are vital in a week as stressful as finals week. This song, so beautifully tranquil, is a perfect escape from the mental racquet of preparing for final exams.

Three ways to keep the music in your life pandora



Authors of the “Music Genome Project” created a site that forms a playlist based on one song or artist of your choosing. To get going, just type in an artist or song of your choice, and Pandora will do the rest. If you like it, click a thumbs up; if you don’t, a thumbs down will switch the song.

On Grooveshark, you can tailor your own specific playlist, song by song. Search for any song or artist of your choice, and click the ‘add’ button. Save your playlists and come back to them whenever you wish. Grooveshark Radio comes with a thumbs up/thumbs down option similar to Pandora.

On this Swedish-formed online music streaming site, members can search for songs directly as well as by genre, record label, artist, album or playlist. Playlists can be created from Spotify’s multimillion-song music database. Playlists can be enjoyed for personal use or posted and shared with other users.

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Photos of Alexis Witman taken by Haley Shefeld.

culture shock kentucky style

By Alexis Witman When I decided during my junior year of high school that I wanted to attend Asbury, it wasn’t really a big deal that Asbury was in Kentucky. Asbury was eight hours away from my home in Pennsylvania; the fact that it was in Kentucky was far from my mind. Let’s be honest, at that point I didn’t even know if the Kentucky Derby was in Lexington or Louisville. Regardless of whether or not I knew exactly where I was going, I was going, and I was excited about it.

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Little did I realize the culture shock that I was about to encounter. Let’s take a step back, I grew up in Central Pennsylvania, a great place, home of collegiate fandom confusion and towns that all end in –burg or – boro. I was a girl who cheered for Duke and prided myself in the correct pronunciation of ridiculous Pennsylvania town names. Then… I moved to Kentucky. That first night at Asbury we all ex-

“Then... I moved to Kentucky.” perienced chaos on the softball field. I remember meeting someone in a game, and as we introduced ourselves, he told me he was from “Lewavulle.” Whaaatttt? Lewavulle. That’s probably how it

should be spelled. There are plenty of town names in Pennsylvania that are only pronounced correctly by the residents of the state; places like Lancaster and Wilkes-Barre have their names butchered regularly. I’m a firm believer that the people of a state know how to say the name correctly, so I practiced for weeks, and eventually, I learned how to properly say the name of the home of the Cardinals. It took even longer to figure out the proper pronunciation of Versailles… Although I don’t recall the exact time, I remember the first thought that went through my head when I saw the iconic green glass of the Ale-8 bottle. “Ummm. I thought I was at Asbury … I thought we didn’t drink alcohol?” Little did I know that the contents of this green glass bottle would soon become a staple of my beverage intake, and the request of, “Could you bring some Ale-8 with you when you come back?” would soon become a common heard phrase from my friends at home and around the country. Because of the location of my hometown in Pennsylvania, you find people who have all sorts of collegiate sports team allegiances. Peoples’ fandom stretches from Pitt, WVU and Penn State to Maryland and a whole slew of UNC and Duke fans. Someone mentioned to me that the people of Central Kentucky were quite passionate about

the University of Kentucky and their sports programs. My freshman year I refused to cheer for the Wildcats; I even wore my Duke sweatshirt to study at the UK library (which was met with notso-hushed words of “I hate Christian Laettner” directed towards me). But as my sophomore year rolled around, along with the coming of Coach Calipari and John Wall, my ability to resist the pull of the Wildcats was becoming weaker. It took some time, and while I don’t know if I’ll ever claim to be a “diehard,” I cheer for the Cats and consider myself a fan (and Big Blue Nation will be happy to know that I haven’t worn my Duke sweatshirt in two years). Learning how to properly pronounce Louisville, drink Ale-8, and cheer for UK basketball were just a few of the things I needed to learn when I became a resident of the great state of Kentucky. As I finish up my second-to-last finals week here at Asbury and prepare to start my final semester, I look back on my years here in Kentucky with nothing but fond memories. Even if, following my graduation in May, I never again can call Kentucky my place of residence, this state and the incredible people here will forever hold a place in my heart. So crack open a bottle of Ale8 with me and give a “cheers” to a great place that no matter where we’re from, we get to call our home for a few short years.

my kentucky bucket list:

1 2 3 4 5

Head to a University of Kentucky hockey game at midnight. Visit the Ale-8 factory in Winchester and take a tour. Travel to Frankfort and check out the capital building. Drive over to Corbin and eat at the orignial KFC restaurant. Book it to Keeneland and take part in a true Kentucky pastime.

The Squeeze | 19

“This is better than a milkshake! Like magic in my mouth!” Reese’s

Elliot Olson

Almond Joy (Hot/Steamer/ Un-Caffeinated)

(Cold/Latte Float/ Caffeinated)

1 oz Coconut Sryup 1 Pump almond syrup 3 Pumps chocolate syrup Steamed Milk

Peanut Butter Milk Shake 1 shot of espresso blended in


I’ve taken your favorite candies and created drinks for you to enjoy during finals and through the rest of your week until break. Written and Photographed by Aubrey Hillis

“It’s like a gourmet Reese’s!” Jackson Ludwig

Hershey’s Cookies & Cream

(Cold/Blended Latte/ Caffeinated) 2 Pumps White Chocolate Syrup Crushed Oreoes 1/3 Scoop of Espresso Powder 2 Scoops Vanilla Ice Cream 3 oz Milk

“It tastes like an Almond Joy!” Caleb Sanchez

“I feel like my tastebuds were raptured.” Hezekiah Crocker Peppermint Stick (Hot/Cambric/ Un-Caffeinated)

“We made this drink, and it tasted dead-on like a Jolly Rancher.” Joshua Friedeman

Peppermint Tea Latte Pump of French Vanilla 2 Pumps Peppermint



Our hope is it will make it so you have one less thing to stress over, and maybe it will give you that boost you needed to make it until Christmas.

Jolly Rancher


(Cold/Smoothie/ Un-Caffeinated)

(Hot/Latte/Caffeinated) 1 Pump of Hazelnut Syrup 2 Pumps of Caramel Syrup 1 Pump of Chocolate Syrup 1 Shot of Espresso Steamed Milk

“Perfect after-dinner drink.”

7oz Green Apple Smoothie Mix 1oz Apple Juice Ice (Blended)

Greg Weinberger

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Means of Meditation A refreshing way to live life By Bri!any Howard

Photos of Jaclyn Turner by Brittany Howard

Stressed? Imagine an activity that is not only relaxing and helps to center your thoughts but also improves your overall flexibility and muscular strength. Yoga does all this and provides you with a large amount of health and physical benefits. I encourage you to try these three yoga poses, so you can incorporate yoga into your daily schedule for life-long benefits and happiness.

Downward Facing Dog Start on your hands and knees. Keep your legs about hip-width apart and your arms shoulder-width apart. Roll your elbows so that the eye or inner elbow is facing forward. Inhale and curl your toes under. Exhale and straighten your legs. The goal is to lengthen the spine while keep-

ing your legs straight and your feet flat on the ground. Weight should be evenly distributed between your hands and feet. Hold the position for a few breaths. Repeat several times, synchronizing with your breath: go up on the exhale and down on the inhale.

Warrior I Begin with feet together and hands at side. Step your feet four to five feet apart. Turn your right foot about 45 degrees to the left. Turn your left foot 90 degrees to the left so that it is pointing straight out to the side. Slowly bend your left knee until your thigh is parallel with the floor, but

keep the knee either behind or directly over your ankle. Raise your arms overhead, then slowly lower them until your left arm is pointing straight ahead and your right arm is pointing back. Take four or five deep breaths. Lower your arms and bring your legs together. Reverse the position.

Tree Pose Stand with your feet together and your arms by your sides. Bend your right leg at the knee, raise your right thigh, and bring the sole of your right foot as high up the inside of the left thigh as possible. Balancing on your left foot, raise both arms over the head, keep the elbows unbent and

join the palms together. Hold the posture while breathing gently through the nostrils for about 10 complete breaths. Lower your arms and right leg and return to a standing position with feet together and arms at the sides. Pause for a few moments and repeat on the opposite leg.

Not only does yoga look fun and amazing, it makes you feel fun and amazing. With the many health and physical benefits of practicing yoga, there also comes personal benefits, which usually end up being the most important. After you experience the change in your mood, body image and physical ability, you won’t be able to feel anything other than satisfaction and a general relaxation in your life.

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What we do for sports and what sports does for us

by Hayes Creech


ince my arrival at Asbury, I have realized how genuinely wired to sports our community is. Being someone who would do close to anything to obtain Arsenal season tickets, I will throw myself violently into the “addicted” category; don’t try and stop me. Unfortunately (or fortunately) when people see me around, the conversation inevitably lands on Arsenal. The encounters play out as the following: “Hey man, what’s up?” Anonymous Person A will ask. “Not much man … just livin’ the life, you know?” I will reply. “How’s Arsenal doing? Did they play today?” That’s right, it really does not take long for my daily interactions to be drizzled with questions pertaining my Gunners. When we start to review our weeks and the manner in which we spend our time, the reality that sports dominate us becomes abundantly clear. In the fall, Asbury’s men’s and women’s soccer matches circulate on the weekends. In the gym, the volleyball team is busy bumping, setting and recording “kills”—a term I find to be over-the-top. Just as the fall seasons are wrapping up, both basketball teams propel us into the winter season and, in-

evitably, into March Madness. When I look back at my weekends, I spent the majority of my time wrapped in an ESPN and Fox Soccer Channel sandwich. Some of my fondest memories have revolved around sports and Asbury athletics. I feel miffed when I meet someone who views sports as one of society’s greatest nuisances. When I do meet these people, I tend to believe they are the ones balancing us out and keeping us afloat. We live in a sports-oriented period; one has to be living in a hermitage not to understand this. A memory I will not hesitate to share to illustrate my point takes place in the eye of the March Madness storm—March 27 to be precise. The University of Kentucky Wildcats battled the University of North Carolina Tar Heels in the “Elite Eight” round; a spot in the Final Four was at stake. My partner in crime, Mark Laufenburger, and I stood up, paced back and forth between Paul Niswander’s dining room and bedroom, sat on the floor and jumped on his bed. Why were we in our resident director’s apartment at such a time? During the first half of play, Mark and I watched the game with a group of guys in another friend’s dorm room. When we

started to realize that some of the guys in the room had a soft spot for the Tar Heels, we had to bail in order to save our reputation and sanity. When the Wildcats won the game, ending a 13-year Final Four drought, our actions reflected that of young John Morley at his Star Wars-themed birthday party. Nothing else mattered. Monday’s tests, our goals and ambitions in life, everything seemed to dwarf in comparison to that basketball game. About an hour after our shared euphoria, the realities of life rose to the surface. Regardless, we had confidence those moments on that late Sunday afternoon would get us through the tough times.

Dr. Burnham Reynolds

Coach Ben Andrews

Dr. Mark Troyer

Teams: Bengals, UK, Browns, Reds. Your best sports story? Sitting in 15 degree wind chill in old Riverfront Stadium in late November, 1993 watching the 1-10 Bengals upset the Oakland Raiders.

Joe Bruner Teams: Cowboys, Mavs, Rangers, Longhorns, Baylor. Your best sports story? I drove eight hours to see Baylor play Wake Forest, but other than that, I don’t go too crazy.

Teams: The Ohio State University, Manchester United. Your best sports story? Skipped Senior Prom to go to a soccer tournament.

Matt Watson Teams: Reds, Bengals Your best sports story? I routinely make the trip to Cincinnati from Wilmore to watch the Reds play. I tend to jump around the room and “coach” the Bengals during their televised games.

Our campus has plenty of Marks and Hayeses. You do not have to look hard to find various sports nuts. Fascinatingly, the leaders of the movement are your faculty (although I have included stories from a couple of your peers). We come from just about everywhere, so allegiances spread far and wide. You know them as the producers of menacing exams and endless essays, but maybe it is time you see them in a far different light. Their love for their teams is deep, and so are their stories.

Teams: C-A-T-S!, My kids’ teams Your best sports story? One day I got a call from a friend who said “I have UK, Tennessee tickets and if you can leave in the next hour, we will drive to Knoxville, Tenn., watch the game and drive back.” I did it with a couple adult friends and wore Kentucky Blue; we were the only three guys wearing blue in the midst of a Tennessee lower arena section where all the shirts were orange. We got back at probably two in the morning. I was at work the next day on time.

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? y a w A t e G a Wann A few places that saved me from dropping out... By Will Houp


holds stillness and resurrects my desire to finish out this war. Everyone has his or her cliché for finals week. We have heard those sayings time and again: “You’ll be fine,” “It’s just a week,” and my personal favorite, “It’s all good.” However, talk is cheap. To escape the undertow, I have discovered some safe havens—sanctuaries of tranquility per se— that have aided my survival through finals.

don’t know about you, but to me, school is like walking into the ocean. Tests and papers lap against your ankles as you begin, your friends honking like seagulls, until midterm submerges you for a brief second and panic first settles in. The second half of the semester is like that time you went out too far and your parents call you in; it takes a solid half an hour to swim thirty feet. Then finals week pins you to the ocean bed, and you cannot catch a breath.

The first place on my list is a classic spot: Lock 7 on the Kentucky River.

While I’m in this battle, all I want is peace—some place I can escape to that

I understand we’re in the middle of December, and the possibility of frigid tem-

24| The Squeeze

peratures is high; however, even from your car, the beauty of this place is captivating. You might have been to this place one hundred times, but have you sat and listened? I dare you to take a moment and wait. A harmony exists that bridges the intensity of the river and the silent enormity of the Palisades. Here, energy meets repose and fuses a comfortable peace. If you have never been here, then merely follow North Lexington Avenue out of town toward the rural community of Highbridge. Once there, the road will veer slightly to the left and then reach a fork. Take the sharp right turn and drive

down the hill. At the base, instead of turning left with the road, if you follow the gravel path in front of you, it will lead you straight to the lock. No worries, the only illegal aspect would be standing on the lock, so you’ll be fine.

My second choice is somewhere I have been going to since I was a kid—the Mini Park. I’m not talking about the mini park you see from the road. Instead, you start out there and follow the creek behind the trees. This leads to a little area with a tunnel going under the train tracks. If you climb the right bank and take the short path at the top, it leads to a clearing. This is the place of my middle school secret “Wombat Clan.” The name reeks eighth grade creativity. Here, my friends and I sat around and thought we were bad: we brought food up here, didn’t let girls come, and talked about PG-13 movies. Nevertheless, we had stumbled on an alcove of solitude. Trees enclose the area, and in the winter the water slowly trickles between white-tipped rocks in the creek underneath bare trees with pouches of snow. In preparation for finals week, this clearing provides that secret, quiet

place of renewal.

My final escape possibility is not a location but a journey. Everyone’s nerves are on haywire during finals week. One way to calm down is to exercise: walk on East Main Street past the railroad tracks and the old Wilmore campground; continue out of town past the water treatment plant on your right. Pastures line this back road, and a brook flows under deteriorating one-lane bridges. Once, on a hot spring day, I was running with my friend down this path. The sun was so unbearable that we jumped off one of the bridges, laying flat in the creek and soaked our faces in the cow dunginfested waters. However, despite the sanitization levels of the water, the scenery does epitomize Kentucky, with rolling hills and expansive fields. Many avenues of adventure diverge off this road, leading to endless distractions. Now, armed with the knowledge of an overwhelmed college student, you may fight against the pull of that devastating wave of finals; moreover, finding peace and focus to resurface and sail on the smooth waters of Christmas break.

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Tales of Asbury you might have missed

by Heather Teshera

1. Ostracized priest avoided church What words come to mind when you look at the old Asbury building, our oldest connection to Asbury’s founding—perhaps quaint, small or old? What about bent rules, sorrow and a lesson to learn in Christian brotherhood? According to local historians, after John Wesley Hughes founded Asbury College in 1890, the first professor hired with a doctorate was Austrian-born C. F. Kolin. Besides being a disinherited nobleman, an ex-Catholic priest and a master of Greek, Hebrew and Latin, he spoke seven languages. In 1894 he was hired as the professor of languages. According to Z.T. Johnson’s history, “Dr. Hughes was delighted to have such a distinguished person on his faculty.” Even though a member of the small community, he maintained an aloof

26 | The Squeeze

presence while on campus. He smoked a pipe in private and did not attend church regularly. Some students found this to their displeasure. After all, his behavior was contrary to the strictly enforced rules. According to T. Walt Hughes, “a religious explosion,” or a revival, took place in Wilmore in 1894. A couple of town atheists—people who did not go to church, were not sanctified and drank—spread the confessed sins around the community. Parents of students became alarmed at the gossip and withdrew their students. This upset Hughes, and he called a halt to the revival. Shortly after, students annoyed with Hughes for dismissing the revival voiced their grievances concerning Professor Kolin. It was said by T. Walt Hughes that

they demanded Hughes immediately and publicly dismiss Professor Kolin, the “secret agent of the Pope of Rome.” Hughes refused. At chapel the next day, instead of asking him to leave, Hughes spoke in defense of the man they unjustifiably called a Roman agent. He then asked all who disagreed to leave chapel and the school. Some say 100, another says nearly 200 male students took his invitation and left chapel immediately. All sources agree that all the students except for one decided not to leave the school and returned the next day. While they ended up coming back, “the leaders of the inquisition turned their righteous wrath” toward Professor Kolin, said T. Walt Hughes. Professor Kolin completed the year, but during summer break he decided to leave.

2. Famous barn doors

Asbury Equine Center Photo by Heather Teshera

The “Triple Crown” is a set of three horse races—the Preakness Stakes, the Belmont Stakes, and the Kentucky Derby. In the hundred-plus years the Triple Crown has been run, only eleven horses have consecutively won all three races. The last of the eleven horses to ever win the Triple Crown was the horse called Affirmed, who won in 1978. For the last 33 years, this feat has yet to be repeated. For horse racing fans, winning the Triple Crown is impressive. Only strong, fast horses—horses with heart—win these challenging races. As the saying goes: “A Thoroughbred throws its heart first over a fence, and then its body follows.”

The years after winning those races until his death in 2001, Affirmed stood at stud, kept as a breeding stallion at the world-renowned Jonabell Farm in Lexington. When the farm decided to replace its stall doors in the broodmare barn, they gave them to the Asbury Equine Center. With their old name cards still in place today, you can see these nine stall doors in use up in the tan barn. Their name cards describe the heritage of pregnant mares and the expected foals that once stood behind them. Many decedents of famous horses were foaled behind those doors, even offspring of Affirmed.

3. Asbury’s WWII vessels

Courtesy of The Ambassador Magazine

As you wander around the library looking for that perfect spot to study… or people watch … or sleep… check out the display cases. One in particular holds a fascinating story. During World War II, the United States Maritime Commission built 534 victory ships. Of these ships, 150 were named after educational institutions like Asbury College. The SS Asbury Victory Ship (764 Asbury Victory, VC2-S-AP2) set out to sea on June 16, 1945. Our victory ship served as a merchant ship in the war zone during the Korean War. As stated in the July 1945 Asbury Alumnus, the SS Asbury Victory

was built for “journeys back and forth across the Pacific to hasten the victory to the Allied Cause.” Although mainly used for transportation, each victory ship was armed with a five-inch stern gun, a threeinch bow gun, and eight 20mm machine guns. On the main floor of Kinlaw Library, you can find a display with items like a ship clock and a compass from the actual ship on loan from U.S. Maritime Commission. In the Archives department, we have a few more items such as the ship’s wheel, a beautiful clock made by Hamilton Watch Co. in Lancaster, Pa., and a compass made by W.M Welch Manufacturing Co. in Chicago.

Did you know? Liberty ships were also common in 1940s. With the raising of $2 million dollars in War Bonds, a ship could be named after a prominent deceased American. In 1943, the Francis Asbury Liberty Ship was built and served as an American Merchant Marine Ship at Normandy on D-Day, June 1944. Afrmed, the last Triple Crown winning horse, was buried near the stallion barn in a standing position, the ultimate honor for a race horse. Jonabell Farm is owned by Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, ruler of Dubai and vice-president of the United Arab Emirates.

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THE BEST DORM ROOM FOR YOU By Anna Bloom Photos by Anna Bloom and Taylor Florian


You can!t take it any longer. You just have to do it. You!ve been staring at it for months, and you!ve nally gured it out. That dresser denitely needs to be moved to the other wall. So you throw down your textbook and shove the dresser across the room. But now your roommate!s desk looks out of place in that corner. It would obviously go better by the window. But wait, with the bed against the wall like that, there is no way that the desk will t. Three hours, two loft supports, and one pulled back muscle later, you and your roommate have completely rearranged the room. And completely forgotten about tomorrow!s Christian Theo exam. But who cares about grades? The room looks great! What if you!ve got the itch to rearrange, but you!re lacking inspiration? Or

maybe you haven!t touched your furniture since move-in day, and you!re thinking it!s nally about time for a change? First, think about what kind of atmosphere you!d like in your room. Maybe a social center, where all your friends can hang out and watch movies or just chat for hours? How about a quiet study sanctuary where you can focus on schoolwork without distraction? Or maybe you!d just like to avoid interacting with your super irritating and messy roommate as much as you can. Whatever your goal, here are some ideas to get you started.



• If you want your friends to linger, make sure to give them somewhere to sit! Skip the typical cheapo folding buttery chairs and invest your $25 in a USED COUCH or comfy chairs from Goodwill. Just make sure to give it a good dousing of Febreze before you invite your friends over.


• Try bunking your beds. Not only will this maximize space in your room, but adding a few OVERSIZED PILLOWS to the lower bed creates even more seating! • Nothing entices people more than FREE FOOD. Keep a stash of pretzels, cookies or soda and watch them come. Every once in a while, feel free to tactfully remind a friend just how much of your food they!ve eaten and suggest a case or two of Mountain Dew to repay your kindness. • Never forget the fun of an old-fashioned GAME NIGHT. Whether it!s cards, board games or video games, they!ll keep you and your friends entertained for hours. • If you!re planning to host movie nights or video game tournaments, make sure the TV IS VISIBLE from all seating areas.

THE STUDY CORNER • The rst concern in a homework-friendly room is the desk. Try creating a distraction-free study nook by placing the desk UNDERNEATH A LOFTED BED, or tucked into a corner. • Studying at a desk can get old fast. Bring in a BIG, COZY CHAIR for whenever you need a change of pace. • Do you need lots of room to spread out your notes and textbooks? Get a fun AREA RUG and spread out on the oor. • No matter where in your room you choose to study, make sure you have good lighting. A sturdy DESK LAMP is always a good bet. If you typically do homework late at night after your roommate!s gone to bed, a smaller reading lamp will be a lifesaver.

THE “I HATE MY ROOMMATE” • When you and your roommate just don!t get along, or when his dirty clothes pile takes over the entire oor, sometimes there!s nothing to do but DRAW A BIG LINE straight down the middle of the room. • To keep all of each roommate!s furniture on his side of the room, you will likely need to LOFT BOTH BEDS. Then, shove both desks so that they!re facing opposite walls. You!ll never have to see your roommate!


Perfect for movie nights or whenever your friends want to lounge like Roman emperors. $44.49 for set of two at


The Amish might be pacists, but this fastpaced card game has been known to start a few wars. $8.01 at


Nobody can resist the pull of the avorful, crunchy goodness of these classic crackers. $2.68 at


Put the “party” in “study party” with this tune-blasting desk lamp. $99.99 at


Crossing things off your to-do list is so much more exciting when it!s written on a slab of shiny bamboo. $13.00 at


Go old-school and use a pencil instead of a keyboard. First, sharpen it with a fun camerashaped sharpener! $12.00 from urbanout


Chomp. Chomp. Chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp. Smack. Slurp. Chomp. $79.99 at


For those days when you can!t even stand the sight of your roommate. $99.99 at

• Since you!ve agreed to each take ownership of one side of the room, go all out in decorating yours! POSTERS, PHOTOS, FLAGS, anything. If you like it, it!s fair game!

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Writers’ Biographies Get to know the authors as you cut out the biography cards and use them as playing pieces on the Asburyopoly board. Just fold the bottom half twice until it forms a triangle. Your author is now ready to win it’s way with you around the Asburyopoly board on page 16. Have fun!

Name: Will Houp Major: Journalism and Creative Writing

Class: Junior Hometown: Wilmore, Ky. About Me: The animal that best

describes me is a lion because they are the kings of the jungle and their women bring them food.

Name: Tessa Carroll Major: Media Communication and Theatre Class: Senior Hometown: Virginia Beach, Va.

About Me: My favorite quote is “Last

night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I thought to myself...where the heck is the ceiling?!” -anonymous

30 | The Squeeze

Name: Shelby Wright Major: Journalism and PR Class: Sophomore Hometown: Grand Haven, Mich. About Me: I want to be on Man vs.

Food. But it would be Women vs. Food. I’d travel, never have to cook and eat large quantities of highly delicious and unhealthy food.

Name: Alexis Witman Major: Communications (PR) Class: Senior Hometown: Greencastle, Pa. About Me: “Courage is when you

know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyways and you see it through no matter what.” -Atticus Finch, “To Kill a Mockingbird”

Name: Melissa Landon Major: Media Communication and

Name: Erika Graham Major: Journalism Class: Sophomore Hometown: North East, Pa.

About Me: My favorite quote is “If at

About Me: The animal that best

Journalism Class: Junior Hometown: Parkertown, N.J.

first you don’t succeed, skydiving surely isn’t meant for you.”

describes me is the lizard with detachable tail. I’m pretty crafty.

Name: Katelyn Cook Major: Journalism Class: Junior Hometown: Huntington, W. Va.

Name: Hayes Creech Major: Journalism Class: Senior Hometown: Seoul, Korea

About Me: My favorite quote is “Do

About Me: My life’s theme song is

not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Rise Above” by Dirty Projectors

Name: Willie Howell Major: Journalism Class: Senior Hometown: Wilmore, Ky.

Name: Brittany Howard Major: Journalism Class: Sophomore Hometown: Williamsburg, Ky.

About Me: The animal that best

About Me: My life’s theme song

describes me is a giant squid. Like Mr. Squid, I’m a pretty deep guy, and I’m very rarely seen on campus.

is “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World.

Name: Anna Bloom Major: Media Communication Class: Senior Hometown: Carlisle, Pa. About Me: I’d like to be on “Who Do You Think You Are” because I’m always claiming that I’m related to random famous people.

Name: Heather Teshera Major: Equine Journalism Class: Senior Hometown: Tigard, Ore. About Me: I want a Hanoverian horse for Christmas—only a Hanoverian horse will do.

Name: Haley Sheffield Major: Media Communication Class: Senior Hometown: Panama City Beach, Fla.

About Me: I couldn’t live without theme park roller coasters.

Name: Aubrey Hillis Major: Media Communication

and Art Class: Sophomore Hometown: Evergreen, Colo.

About Me: I couldn’t live without coffee. I guess I’m a cliche art student.

Cut out cards and place on Asburyopoly board.

Forescout Open dorm: Advance to nearest dorm.

Forescout Chapel seat taken! Board of Trustees in town! Yeah! Collect $200.

Forescout Get out of academic probation free! Anonymous donor.

Forescout You have been elected class president. Pay each player $50.

Forescout Fined for checking out “Mere Christianity” for the whole school year. Pay $50. Good book, but still.

Forescout Intramural Champ! Advance three spaces and collect $50.

Forescout Your friend is working at the grille and slips you some free food. Collect $100.

Forescout You parked next to the caf in Dr. Gray’s spot. Pay $100.

Forescout Websense: Tasteless. Pay $200.

Forescout Advance to closest dorm. You burned some popcorn and set off dorm fire alarm. Pay $100.

Community Hours Class serve. Thanks for painting Go International’s fence. Collect $100.

Community Hours Artist Series: A lovely individual pays you to go on a date with them. Collect $50.

Community Hours

Community Hours

Community Hours

Community Hours

Community Hours

Community Hours

Community Hours

Community Hours

It’s your birthday! Anonymous card in CPO. Collect $50 from each player.

Get out of academic probation free! Anonymous donor.

Failed to call in extension. Pay $50.

Artist Series: Take a date. Pay $50.

Money left in washing machine! Collect $200.

Receive a moldy cookie in CPO. Go back to the caf, and if owned, pay owner twice the rent. If not owned, purchase for twice the price.

Failed to mention C.S. Lewis or John Wesley in student chapel. Pay $200.

Closed door during open dorm. Pay $100 (for child support).

The Squeeze | 31

The Squeeze  

An Asbury Collegian publication that will have you laughing for years to come.