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Never go to the bathroom after the midnight hour For if you do you’ll discover the loo has a chilling power The whooshing of tissue whizzing off the toilet roll Ghastly, gurgling water swirling round the toilet bowl. Wind-whipped billowing curtains lashing the window pane, The drip, drip, drip of blood from the tap, that never leaves a stain. Toothpaste spurts from the tube and oozes across the floor Rattles, bangs, thumps, and clangs shudder the bathroom door. The light begins to flicker, splashing shadows on the wall, Bluebottles buzz, spiders spin, cockroaches creep and crawl The icy breath-misted mirror reflects the ghostly sight, And the haunting sounds of the moans and groans continue through the night. But don’t be scared of the bathroom, don’t shiver and shake with fear, Don’t bite your nails, scream out loud or shed a trembling tear. For when the dawn begins to break and darkness turns to day, The ghosts and ghouls, slime and drools will slowly melt away. And the only sign of this haunting time will be there inside the loo, For as you lift the toilet seat you will find a ghostly poo!