Vol. 5 Issue 2 February 2017
A Variety of Local Experiences
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Publisher AnneMarie Ziegler ArrayMagazine@gmail.com Associate Editor Kelsey Minnick Shaver ArrayInformation@gmail.com Photographers Amanda Loftus Amy Garner Dave Minnick Robin Minnick Stone Samuels Contributing Writers Alan Porter Anissa Short Amanda Loftus Amy Garner Angel West Brenda Brown Brenda Howell Belinda Wilkersson Dr. S. Fenner Lisa Thomas Robin Minnick Rosemary Teague Tina Dawson Wayne Smalls Administrative/Distribution Angie Autry Angie McKnight Brad Lyle Mike Lyle Tanya Johnston
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LC McQueen was the winner of the January Leaf Find. Thank you for supporting Array Magazine!
Stone Samuels of Images by Stone captured the beauty of Rob Lorenson’s X’s scultptor located in Downtown Fayetteville. What is more fitting that x’s and o’s for February? To learn more about this Downtown sculptor go to page 8 to read about the artist and the sculptor. Then make plans to visit each of the sculptors and keep picking up a copy of ARRAY to learn more about the 10 sculptors each month this year.
Send questions and feedback to: Array Magazine PO Box 20051 Fayetteville, NC 28312 (980)-ARRAY13 www.ArrayNC.com Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in ARRAY magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are presented for information and entertainment only and may not necessarily reflect the views of ARRAY. Specifically, ARRAY in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable directly or indirectly for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. ARRAY reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet ARRAY standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. ARRAY assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited.
4 Senior Moments
5 Dollar and Sense
12 Good News
6 More Than Skin Deep
7 Healthy Living
18 The Music
10 Stiletto Thoughts
Never Enough Jazz
26 Repurpose With A Purpose
34 Sip & Savor Some Wine with Your Jazz
38 Everyday Hero How A Parade Was Made
42 Bizz Buzz Beauty Drives the Fun
16 Amy on The Town
28 Chris Rey
Featured 8 Downtown Art Find out about the new art giving downtown a whole new beauty.
14 Dr. Tweedy The doctor shares his world with us hoping for changes.
28 Chris Rey A love affair that encompasses so much!
40 Free Hugs Local people showing love with just a hug!
21 Ask Tina 22 Catastrophe Primed 24 Calender 31 Dear Shanessa 32 Array of Pets 35 Social Security Smarts
36 Today a Reader
Tomorrow a Leader
41 Hidden Nuggets 44 Let’s Eat 45 What is Your Why? 46 Array for Kids 47 Bulletin board 48 Publisher’s Note
18 Music Scene ArrayNC.com
Week of Feb. 5
• Senior Exercise Program every Monday at 8:30 am at the Spring Lake Senior Enrichment Center at 301 Ruth St. Several of the local rec centers have FREE exercise classes. Why not stop by and give it a try. • Tuesday, February 7th from 7-9 pm at 221 Hay Street enjoying the screening of “A Light Beneath Their Feet” at the Cameo Art House Theater. This is an emotionally raw and bracingly honest, coming of age drama about a mother and her daughter. Tickets are $15. For more information contact MoonShadow Film Society or the Cameo.
Week of Feb. 12
• Travis Tritt will be at the Crown Complex on February 2nd. Be sure to get your tickets now. • Free Diabetes Clinic and Blood Pressure Screenings are held at Better Health at 1422 Bragg Blvd. For more information contact Better Health at 910-483-7534 for days and locations throughout the county. • Don’t forget, Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. Make plans for you and your sweetheart, yourself or a group of your friends. Fayetteville has something for everyone. Movies, theater, arts, restaurants and so much more!
Week of Feb. 19
• Don’t miss out on Downtown Fayetteville’s 4th Friday and all it has to offer. Go early, stroll the streets, stop in a coffee shop, a book store, a boutique, or even stop to taste some wine. Grab a bite to eat at our many downtown restaurants and then enjoy all the activities on the streets for 4th Friday. • On Tuesday, February 21st you can watch Brain Candy LIVE! At the Crown Complex. This is a comedy brought to you by Adam Savage (from Mythbusters) and Michael Stevens. For more information pick up a copy of the January ARRAY to get some behind the scenes information. • Saturday, February 25th will be the annual Duck Derby 5K. This is the big kickoff for the Duck Derby to be held in April during Dogwood Festival. If you don’t feel like running, they can always use volunteers. Contact Fayetteville Urban Ministries at 910-4835944!
Week of Feb. 26
• Did you know The Price Is Right Live! Will be at the Crown Complex on Sunday, March 26th at 7:30 pm? Call now for more information. • Remember to check out all the activities your local library has going on. Plus, the Friends of the Library could use your donated books to help with their fundraising event. All their donated books and supplies for their annual book sale were destroyed during Hurricane Matthew. Your help could make a big difference in the many programs offered to toddlers, teens, adults and seniors by our local library. Check those book shelves and see what books you want to get rid of and then go fill those spots up when they have their next annual book sale. It’s a win win for everyone!
$ense A Top IRA
Contributed by Alan Porter, Strategic Wealth Strategies
How To Avoid The IRS Tax Traps: Not rolling your 401(k), TSP, or 403(b) into an IRA
a. It does not affect taxation of Social Security which at the present time can be 85% of you Social Security payment and also reduces the cost of your Medicare part B payments. This can amount to hundreds of dollars and that is deducted from your Social Security Payment; and b. There is no required minimum distribution (RMD) at age 701/2. This can be very important because if you do have a RMD and do not take it there is a 50% penalty. 6. Have you insured your IRA or retirement? You insure your home and car, why not your retirement? With unlimited investment opportunities, there are options out there that can: a. Guarantee the principal from a market loss b. Offer a competitive rate of return c. Generate an income that cannot be outlived, and d. Some have no fees!
There are many mistakes made by not converting their IRA properly, but I think that this one is very important! The following are several reasons to move the above qualified plans into an IRA when you retire or change jobs. 1. Most qualified plans and other company plans have limited investment options. These qualified accounts may offer 50 different mutual funds and other investment vehicles, but almost all are subject to market fluctuation. If you play safe and move to bonds and CDs you will have little or no growth. If you move your qualified funds into an IRA, you have unlimited investment options. 2. Plan guidelines can restrict the owner’s access to their money. You want to maintain liquidity, use, and control In closing, I want to remind you to educate yourself; it of your assets. You never know when you may need is your retirement, after all, and remember these three access to your funds. IRAs offer greater flexibility. things: 3. Direct rollovers avoid the 20% mandatory 1. If something you thought to be true turned out not withholding. It is critical that your funds are moved as to be true, when would you want to find out about it? a trustee-to-trustee transfer to avoid the custodian of the Immediately! funds withholding 20% for the IRS. 2. It is not how much money you have in retirement - it 4. 401(k) and 403 (b) plans have limited distribution is how much you have after taxes! flexibility for the children and grandchildren, who are 3. You may have the best advisors in the world, but it likely to inherit when both the owner and spouse are is what they don’t know that may end up costing you gone. There is a thing that is called the Stretch IRA. hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of dollars in This gives children and grandchildren of IRA owners undue fees, taxes, and lost opportunity costs. Get a new valuable distribution options. They now have the second opinion! •A• ability to spread the inherited IRA distributions over their individual life expectancies. All employer plans are now required to allow non-spousal beneficiaries to do direct rollovers to inherited IRAs. This allows those beneficiaries to take control of their inheritance and opens unlimited investment options and greater income flexibility. 5. Most 401(k) and 403(b) plans do not allow the ROTH IRA Conversion. This is something, the ROTH Conversion, people don’t like to do because it means that they must pay the income taxes that are due (a note: you are going to have to pay them TAX FREE RETIREMENT SPECIALIST sooner or later). With Social Security scheduled to run out of money in SOCIAL SECURITY CLAIMING STRATEGIES 2022 and Medicare in 2026, do you think that taxes are going up or down? IRA SPECIALIST Understand, this may not be the best option in every case, but think about this. If I convert to a ROTH IRA, my money still grows tax-deferred and now I can access my money tax-free for life and the life of my beneficiaries if it is converted into a stretch IRA. (910) 551-1046 • firstname.lastname@example.org However, two important things to www.iflretirement.com/Alan-Porter know:
Strategic Wealth Strategies Maximizing Your Investment Dollars
I ONLY DEAL IN SAFETY AND PROTECTION FOR THE FAMILY I DO NOT DEAL IN RISK! ArrayNC.com
More Than Skin Deep
Written by Brenda Howell
If you have ever suffered with
The Mystery of Low Back Pain
low back pain, you are not alone. Around 80% of the population has suffered from low back pain at some point in their lives. It is the third leading cause of disability and has accounted for over 93 million lost work days in the last few years alone. Why do so many people fall victim to low back pain or even the dreaded degenerative disc disease? First, consider that not all low back pain is degenerative disc disease. As with any other painful condition, I strongly encourage you to seek a medical doctor for a complete diagnosis. One of the most common causes of low back pain that has been diagnosed as degenerative disc disease actually comes from the prolonged stress that bending puts on the joints and discs. Postures which bend the spine often become habitual in childhood. This continual, abusive posture compresses the sacrum and puts the lumbar spine on a prolonged stretch; overstretching and weakening the surrounding ligaments and tissues and gradually displacing the lumbar discs posteriorly. The result ranges from mere discomfort to sharp pain!
In the world of massage therapy, the worst thing your therapist can do now is elongate the erector muscles even more. (The erector spinae muscles are the ones that run up and down your back near the spine. They usually are the ones that feel hard and ropey.) Instead, your therapist needs to work your abdominal muscles. After all, your abdominal muscles are the front of the back! By working the abdominal muscles correctly, your therapist can reduce the pull the erector muscles are exerting. Now that we are considering the abdominal muscles as the front of the back, we need to include a very important muscle deep in the abdominal region, called the psoas (so*az) muscle. In my experience, this muscle has been the “problem child” for low back pain the majority of the time. The muscle attaches to the L1,L2,L3 and L4, vertebrae, runs through your hip and then attaches to the inside of your femur. The muscle doesn’t attach to the back of the spine, but rather to the front. The psoas muscle acts as a major hip flexor (pulls up your knees) and remains contracted when you are sitting.
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Now when you spend long periods of time sitting and then stand up, that muscle takes time to loosen back up and elongate like it should. When the muscle doesn’t stretch itself out properly, it pulls on your low back causing, you guessed it, aches and pains. At this point, you could seek out a general massage therapist to rub where it hurts and you might get some temporary relief (‘cause massage just feels good). However, to correct the problem, your medical massage therapist needs to manipulate your abdominal wall and release the psoas muscle so it can function normally. If you fall into the category of the 80% of Americans who have low back pain, medical massage can relieve that pain while addressing the source of it. Medical massage is also a great, drug-free option for many types of other soft tissue pain! •A• Brenda is a Licensed Massage and Bodywork Therapist and owner of Healing Hands Body Therapy, 5843 Ramsey Street, Fayetteville, NC. 910-5023596. Healinghandsbodytherapy.com. She and her team specialize in medical massage by using a variety of modalities to reach your goals. Brenda and her team are constantly taking more training and education classes to help you realize that becoming pain free is not just a dream but is something that is attainable.
Written by Dr. Shanessa Fenner
Finding the Love of Your Life
It is February and love is in the air. Love is something that some individuals long and desire for. It takes time to find “the one” and the process can be complicated, but if it is shared with the right person it can be beautiful. Here are a few tips to follow when you are seeking the love of your life: 1. Be available and present in the moment. If you are too busy to talk on the phone or spend time with someone, then don’t attempt to have a relationship. It is not fair to the other person if you are not available. People make time for what they want to make time for. When you spend time with someone do not spend it scrolling through your phone. Give them your undivided attention and respect their time. Show them you are interested. Maintain eye contact when talking or listening to the person. They need to know they are worthy of your time and focus.
4. Let past relationships go. Don’t spend most of your time bashing your ex by thinking about the past. Life is too short to dwell on the past. It is time to move forward. Focus on the present moment and the great things that will happen.
2. Speak and communicate with the person. Communication is a major factor in any relationship. You have to let the person know how you feel and your expectations. Never assume a person knows what you want - it is your responsibility to let them know how you want to be treated. People think differently. Ask questions and be honest at all times. Say what you mean and mean what you say. The things you say should be genuine and straight from the heart.
6. Protect your heart. Trust your instincts and listen to your gut when it gives you a sign that things are not what they seem. Red flags are warning signs that should never be ignored. Sometimes we want love so much that we ignore the red flags.
3. Listen. Just sit back and listen. Listen to understand what they are telling you. Also, listen to what is “not said” as well. It speaks volumes.
5. Be consistent. This means making sure your actions match your words. We expect people to be consistent but that is not always the case. Being consistent builds trust in a relationship. When you are inconsistent it may cause a person to have a “shadow of doubt” about the things you say and do.
7. Focus on becoming a better you by becoming the best soulmate for your new love interest. Ask yourself, “What do I bring to the table?” Display all of the characteristics that you want your significant other to display. In other words, if you want someone to be loving, caring, affectionate, have a good job, nice car, nice place to live, stability, nice body, etc., you should possess those characteristics too.
I wish you the best of luck in finding the love of your life ArrayNC.com
The Sculpture Culture comes to Fayetteville
Part 2 Written & photos by Stone Samuels
We are moving right along with our
continuing journey, exploring the lovely sculptures that have made their way to Fayetteville. The sculptures have brought a new buzz in the downtown area - everyone wants to know where these pieces of art are coming from and who the sculptors are who brought these visions to life. The Fayetteville Arts Council (Work in Progress Initiative) picked unique works to bring to the area. They do not follow any particular style or form. Each one can stand on its own without having to rely on the other works that are a part of the overall exhibit. Having one sculpture would have been nice, but having 10 different sculptures is a large benefit for a much broader portion of the community. Coming to the downtown area to view the different pieces gives you the opportunity to just let your mind wander and get transported inside the mind of an artist and what it takes for them to be the creative geniuses that they are. Where do their ideas come from? Do they spend more time thinking about what they plan to do as a piece, or do they just jump right into the work and get it done? How do they choose the material or medium in which they plan to work? There are so many things that can go into their creative process that it can boggle oneâ€™s mind, especially if you do not consider yourself a creative person. When you look at the sizes of most of these sculptures, you know that a lot of time and effort were put into them. They are big, they are intricate, and you just have to appreciate them from the perspective of the workmanship put into each of these elaborate works of metal. The only limitations that these sculptors have are their own imaginations and creativity. Being both a writer and photographer, I am getting to show the public two different perspectives of the different works of art. A short look into the minds of the sculptors and a look into how this photographer interprets what he sees through his lens.
Rob Lorenson is an accomplished sculptor - he has a lot of different works that are in many different galleries and exhibits all over the country. He is a highly educated and talented man who has his beautiful works in over 200 various collections, both private and public. His work varies in size from small tabletop pieces to full large-scale sculptures. Rob earned his Bachelor of Fine Arts from the University of Northern Iowa at Cedar Falls, he also holds a Master of Fine Arts from Northern Illinois University at DeKalb. He lives and works in southeastern Massachusetts. Rob has been teaching sculpture to students since 1999, and has been a Professor of Sculpture at Bridgewater State University. Effectively what Lorenson has done over his career as an educator, and as an artist sculptor, is to give lovely pieces of art to the world and he has passed on the tools for many young artists to carry one artist’s view of the art world into the future. These young students have to be in awe learning how to sculpt from such an accomplished sculptor. Examining his sculptures, you can see the meticulous work and long hours spent refining each little detail. The X’s sculpture seems to be suspended in time. You get the illusion that pieces of the sculpture are being suspended in the air. The stainless steel is brushed, so it is not smooth, but when the light hits it and dances around, it has a certain luster to it. If you want to get the full effect, you have to look at the sculpture from a variety of different angles. When you look at Rob’s body of work, you can see a theme to it, but in the same sense they are all different. If you are an artistic individual you can get a sense of who Lorenson is as a sculptor, or if you are just the casual viewer, you can see that this very talented man is a rock star in the art world. Do yourself a favor and come downtown and take a very long gander at this wonderful sculpture. X’s is located at the corner of Gillespie and Person Street. •A•
e r u g i F o T s 6 Step e s o p r u P r u Out Yo or 2017 f n o i s i V d an
Written by Lisa Thomas
Are you still moving towards
your goals for 2017? Or have you fallen short, with momentum slowing down already? The big question is, “What is your vision and purpose?” If you immediately responded to this question, then, congratulations! You’re ready to tackle life from a power position. If, like most women, you stopped and looked blankly at your screen, don’t worry. Here are a few steps to get you on
the right track for 2017. Within the answers to these questions, you’ll discover freedom and choice when facing any situation during the year, rather than suffering through it. Step 1 - Be Still Literally be still. Find a space of solitude and serenity where you experience a sense of peace, take a load off, and become motionless. You should sit so you can focus.
Step 2 - Listen to your Inner Voice Your inner voice is the voice of your essence, your spirit. It is the purest part of you. Activate your inner voice by asking: * What does my heart long for? * What’s truly important to me? * What dreams have I given up on? * What am I truly passionate about? Step 3 - Journal your Responses
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Once you’ve taken yourself away from the space of solitude and listening to your inner voice, write down your responses to the questions in the second step. Step 4 - Repeat the Process Give yourself five days to repeat the process. Remember to do the above-mentioned steps exactly as they are outlined. Do not deviate from the process. Step 5 - Pay attention to Common Themes As you journal your responses, you’ll find common themes and glaring interests some you may have forgotten.
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Step 6 - Create a Vision Statement Review your journal of five entries and create a vision statement. Your vision statement is a compilation of your journal in one or two lines. Within the vision statement is also your purpose. You’ll notice it as you read it over and over. Once you’ve completed the exercise, you’re ready to tackle any situation life throws at you, as your vision statement will act as a foundation for decision making. Whenever you’re faced with the question “why”, simply revisit your vision statement and see how life begins to unfold. Have fun with the exercise and allow life to take you exactly where you’re supposed to be. At Pinehurst Neurology, we diagnose and treat a wide array of neurological disorders of the brain and spinal cord providing personalized treatment plans to improve the quality of life for those with neurological diseases. Lisa Thomas is CEO of The P3 Group, Inc., a revolutionary training and development company; President of NetWorth; freelance writer and radio show host. www.TheP3Group.com
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CALL (910) 295-6868 OR VISIT WWW.PINEHURSTNEUROLOGY.COM
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Living Written by Robin Minnick Photos by Dave Minnick
lo·ca·vore; A person whose diet consists only or principally of locally grown or produced food. “No family should have to throw away stuff or have
it go out of time,” says Samantha Peterson, Local Food Coordinator at Sustainable Sandhills, a regional nonprofit dedicated to saving the planet and conserving the natural resources of the North Carolina Sandhills. She, along with Matt McMahon, is responsible for the Locavore dinners that Sustainable Sandhills puts on as a means of fundraising and educating people about farmto-table food systems. The goal of the dinners is to connect chefs with farmers and other food providers to create seasonal, locally-sourced dishes and encourage them to put them on their menus. The dinners are sourced from providers within one hundred miles of Fayetteville and - according to the Sustainable Sandhills web site - “are uniquely designed to give guests a truly one of a kind dining experience.” Part of their goal is to let people know their farmer and what is important to them. “If you know what is important to the farmer,” says Samantha, “you will know if they are supporting what you are looking for.” Samantha is a local and homegrown enthusiast herself, describing eating a fresh vine-ripened tomato as having “a punch in every single bite.” She grew up in a military family, but always seemed to live around farms, and as a result, saw many different food systems in action. Today, she has a certificate in sustainable systems. She spent the last eight years in Nashville, Tennessee, where she witnessed a system that works. She is trying its methods here, applying what works in the Sandhills. “I’m a do-er,” she says, and someone who likes connecting the dots. Sustainable Sandhills has always had fundraising dinner parties. They were done with hints of sourcing
locally, but Samantha raised the question, were they really doing all they could to provide local food and propel the concept forward? The farm-to-fresh connection is what they were aiming for, but the dinners were usually centered around a theme, and the farm-tofresh sort of got lost. “Scratch that,” said Samantha, “We’re going to center it around the food.” So the dinners changed. Now they focus fully on local food, local farmers, and local supplies. They use fresh ingredients and hire chefs interested in and committed to local sourcing. It has become ‘the food-centered meal.’ Sustainable Sandhills educates people to their farmsource program, about reducing miles between farm and source, lessening pesticide use, and making for a smaller carbon footprint - all associated with local, smaller-scale farming. Samantha is a consultant, organizer, and educator. Among others, she’s educated her Locavore partner, Matt McMahon, how the understanding of where food comes from and why is important. “Food,” says Matt, “I don’t think should travel from great distances to get to your plate.” Preferably from no further than100-125 miles away. Sources for the Locavore dinners include Raleigh, Fayetteville, Charlotte, and Wilmington. Matt thinks a farmer’s market here similar to the Raleigh State Farmer’s Market would be even better. They take a multifaceted approach to creating a dinner. It depends on what’s in season and what lends itself to the chef’s vision. In trying to promote the sustainable concept, they try to do something no one else in the Fayetteville/Sandhills is doing. Samantha takes the lead in sourcing, maintains farmer relationships, and facilitates procurements. Matt is more involved in maintaining rapport and organizing the dinners. It takes about a month to set one up, although Matt thinks they could knock one out in a couple weeks, if necessary. The trickiest part is getting the location. Their October event was a huge Harvest Dinner held
in the middle of Anderson Street. A five-course meal, and all but one or two ingredients were local, including the wine. It was a night out downtown, highlighting the local nature of the dinner. Their work, Matt says, “lends itself to our creative freedom and unconventional problem-solving. Locavore has a pretty solid fan base,” and they can pretty much accommodate what a chef wants put together. “It’s all about the food.” But they like to involve and include other local entrepreneurs as well. When they needed more chairs at the October dinner, Matt knew Dianne’s Vintage had some for sale. Dianne offered ones she herself was selling (not consignment), and he made sure there were price tags on the chairs to let patrons know they could see about purchasing one. Locavore provides local chefs - even students in culinary programs such as the one at Fayetteville Technical Community College - with a platform to display their abilities, giving them a chance to stretch their culinary muscles and showcase their talents for local critics and chefs. On January 21, Southern Pines Brewery will be the location of a dinner in conjunction with Slow Food Sandhills, an organization that believes in eating local to achieve “communities that preserve the historic food traditions of the Sandhills region of North Carolina.” This night, already sold out, will be called ‘Meat Matters’ and will spotlight locally produced meat. The meal will have very few ingredients, very simply cooked. Farmers will speak about commercialized and industrialized meat versus locally grown. The brewery will provide specially selected brews to accompany the meat. The most important thing, says Matt, is highlighting the food and the story of the food, the people who produce it, and the people who prepare it, and make it all come to life. •A•
ARRAY was lucky enough to attend the January 21st Locavore ‘Meat Matters’ dinner at the Southern Pines Brewery. About fifty people joined together to learn the value of locally-grown grassfed meat and sample the food and drink. Chef Orlando of Stacks Cheddar Food Truck provided four light courses of foods based on meats from Cathis Farms and McCormick Farms. He used his talent to create scrumptious, creamy deviled eggs topped with crispy pigs ears and microgreens; a velvet-gravied dish of stewing hen and tarragon drop dumplngs; a tangy and spicyVietnamese tartare with grilled cucumber, Korean-style sundried potato chips, skirt steak Kalbissam with kimchi and herbs; and a fragrant lettuce wrap of coconut rice with cilantro. Friendly conversation bounced through the taproom lit by strings of yellow decorative lights and candles placed on barrels scattered about the room. Everyone had a good time. The message of sustainable dining couldn’t be more pleasantly - or thoroughly - delivered.
Decor provided by Indigo Earth Events of Pinehurst ArrayNC.com
A Black Man in a White Coat
Written by Amy Garner
Damon Tweedy wanted to fit in at Duke Medical School. He wanted to learn and develop his craft and build a career. What happened instead for the young guy from the gray area between D.C. and Baltimore, was an introduction to deepseated racial issues and inequality, not only at Duke, but in the halls of hospitals, clinics and other medical facilities. Dr. Tweedy went on to graduate from Duke University School of Medicine and is now an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Duke University Medical Center. Dr. Tweedy is also a staff physician at the Durham Veteran Affairs Medical Center. He has published numerous articles about race and medicine in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, and Raleigh News & Observer, as well as in various medical journals. “As a young physician, I felt like we were always talking about connecting with the patients where they were. And I was always reminded that no matter how much I wanted to fit in, I was different. On a team of usually over thirty rotating Doctors, I was usually the only black doctor. There were times when patients came in, and I was the only psychiatrist on the floor, and the patient was very ArrayNC.com 14
vocal about not wanting a black doctor. My first thought in that situation was ‘this is not really going to work out for him. We are probably not going to connect’.” He laughed at the memory. The audience at North Regional Library laughed along with him. While the topic was sensitive, the shared laughter was bittersweet. Dr. Tweedy was in town in January to speak at the annual Friends of the Library meeting. He read from his memoir “Black Man in a White Coat: A Doctor’s Reflections on Race and Medicine” that evening to a crowd of about fifty people. Despite enjoying visiting community libraries, this was the first he had done so in almost a year. “Most of the time, I speak to medical schools and hospitals and formal slides, but it’s more enjoyable to engage in a less formal manner with a more diverse cross-section of society. With my work in the VA health system, it was nice to see a group of veterans during my visit to Fayetteville as well.” The good doctor also shared his pleasure when he receives positive responses, when people tell him they can see much of their story in his. “It is also nice to be a small part in helping people make better decisions in their life, with respect to their educational journey or their health.”
The positive feedback is more meaningful when the doctor described his discomfort with public speaking; but because it is needed, “the good outweighs the bad in this instance”. As he was speaking to the Friends, sharing stories from childhood and medical school, his face became more serious. His tall frame leaned into the microphone a little and, as if in an intimate conversation, Dr. Tweedy said, “Something I grapple with, and I talk about this in my book, is where are we from 1996 to now? Along the way the issues around healthcare have become political. And that baffles me. Healthcare shouldn’t be about politics. It does not matter what your political beliefs are. Cancer and diabetes do not care. Yet we still find ourselves in this environment where healthcare is a political issue. It just seems like if there was anything we were going to leave out of politics, it would be that. People are dying.” The speech closed with commentary on two quotes, from Dr. Martin Luther King, found below.
“The first quote is from 1966 after the Civil Rights Act had passed, after the Voting Rights Act had passed. He had gone to Chicago and was speaking to an audience of physician activists and he said ‘of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health are the most shocking and the most inhumane’. I thought that was such a striking statement from Dr. King when you think about all the things he did and the challenges he faced for him to acknowledge how crucial, how critical the differences we face in medical care. At the time, he made those remarks, the life expectancy difference between black and white men was over 10 years. That’s a whole decade. Imagine how much life goes into one day then imagine how much life can be lost with a decade.” … ‘If I cannot do great things, then I can do small things in a great way’… People sort of throw their hands up and get hopeless with all the problems we have. This quote gives us a little ownership, a little power in our lives.” •A•
You can read more about Dr. Tweedy’s written work at www.damontweedy.com
Have You Found It?
Hidden somewhere in the magazine is this leaf . Once you find it, head to ArrayNC.com to fill out the Green Leaf Hunt submission form to be entered in a chance for some green! ArrayNC.com
Amy On the Town:
Lovin’ All Year Long
Written by Amy Garner
Over my lifespan, I have historically and
dramatically stressed out about Valentine’s Day. As a girl-child, the whole “will or won’t I get a Valentine from that special boy” gave me zits and attitude. As I grew older, I sometimes had immature expectations of grand romantic gestures that never came to fruition - also causing zits and attitude. Settling into the comfort and confidence of middle age, I have (sort of) found peace with cupid and the shenanigans associated with February. Somewhere along the journey, I realized that true love is celebrated every single day, with mundane, sweet gestures and with gigantic, amorous expression, all year long. Still….I write a column intended to inspire local adventuring and once again the weight of Amor’s bow is heavy. I have, literally, asked every restaurant manager that I have encountered in December and January (and that’s no small number, I assure you) what they have planned for Valentine’s Day. As we approach the deadline for ARRAY to go to print, most local businesses were just beginning to ponder ways to put love on a plate. I also searched websites and Facebook events for inspiration that will, in turn, inspire the reader without much success. As timing will have it, you will see a lot of ways to spend Valentine’s Day as we inch closer to the actual date. But back to the here and now…..where did I fail? I was looking, once again, to the BIG VALENTINE, the grand gesture, the life changing, red-hearts and balloon filled moment. So, I would like to suggest that we adopt an attitude of generosity in our love and celebrate Valentine’s Day all month, every day, all year. I have picked out a few local ways you can ‘woo your boo’. Again, you can pair these together and add your own touch. They are not intended to be treated as a recipe so much as an inspiration. Something I suggest may spark an idea in you that leads to your own custom memory-making moments. It really is all about opening your heart to our little town and finding the fun. Little ways to celebrate your love all month long: • Treat your sweetheart to breakfast at JK’s Deli, located at 125 Owen Drive. This place is what me and mine refer to as “The Spot”…as in “Want to have
breakfast? Hell, yeah, I will meet you at the Spot.” It is tucked behind the BP station, on the shortcut road between Raeford Road and Owen Drive. The food is down-home, country cooking with a touch of Greece sprinkled throughout the menu. I usually have bacon and eggs. The buttery home fried potatoes give me life and are so delicious you may as well paint them directly to my hips….but so worth it. The Greek omelet is also a personal favorite. The service is warm and friendly and the price is very affordable. While you are in that area, go ahead and fill up your darlin’s gas tank. Nothing says “I love you, baby” quite like a full belly and a full tank of gas. • Take a walk together through Downtown, hold hands, steal a kiss at the Market House. Our Downtown is full of precious smooch spots. While you are there, stroll in to Turner Lane. This unique little shoppe will almost pull you in by the nose. Sweet aromas of fresh soaps, delightful candies, breads, ciders, jams and jellies trickle into the little alley at 242-A Hay Street. They host free tastings of all their products all day. Miss Kathy is as warm as summer sunshine and will gladly help you pick out something for your table, for each other or for yourself. They also have a variety of quirky items for your home or office. I call them “cozies”….. those little things that make your house a home and give you a way to express your personality in your décor or in a little gift for you sweet Valentine. You can find a full menu of goodies and delights at www. shopturnerlane.com • I would be remiss if I did not insist that you and your love catch a film at the CAMEO. Located at 225 Hay Street, CAMEO Art House Theatre was originally one of Fayetteville’s first movie theaters, now renovated and rejuvenated. CAMEO boasts an eclectic selection of independent films, bluegrass concerts and other super fun stuff all the time. You can check out the CAMEO’s history and a listing of events and showings at www.cameoarthouse.com . Make every effort to catch a show in the Loge, an intimate screening room in the upstairs of the CAMEO, seating only 38. It is a perfect way to spend a romantic afternoon or a glam date night out.
On February 7, the CAMEO will partner with the Moon Shadow Film Society for a showing of A light Beneath Their Feet. You can check out more about that event at www.moonshadowfilmsociety.com . • My Bloody Valentine is happening just down the road in Clinton. Throw on your jeans and hoodies and head out to Hollerin Haunts at 2914 Bud Johnson Road and enjoy a hayride and some zombie paintball (no, I am not kidding). I have never given this a try, but the short road trip and the excitement of something new, together, is very appealing. You can gather more recon on Facebook events: My Bloody Valentine. This one comes and goes quickly. You can only catch it February 10-11, so plan ahead. • Puppy love is one of the sweetest loves that exists on planet Earth. Check out Fayetteville’s off-leash dog park at 555 N. Eastern Boulevard. The weather in NC is as fickle as a poodle in heat and we are sure to have at least one or two pretty days in February. Pack your pup and your Valentine in the car and head down for an afternoon of tennis ball toss and frolicking. Maybe pack a few snacks and make a park-bench-picnic out of it! This may also be a good spot to include the kids and make a family day. For dog park details, check out http://fcpr.us/parks-trails/ parks/riverside-dog-park I stick to my philosophy that love should be celebrated more often than one day in mid-February. I also stand strong in that it is the little things, the simple fun we create that bonds us for life to those we cherish. What are some little things you can do to consciously make your love feel your love? I may have given you a few ideas, but nobody knows your special person the way you do… and if you aren’t sure, ask them. And if they don’t know, tell them. Nothing is sexier or builds intimacy more quickly than open, honest communication. Love wins. •A• I welcome your feedback and suggestions. You can reach me at email@example.com.
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Written by Robin Minnick
There isn’t enough jazz in Fayetteville.
It’s a frequent complaint. Jazz-lovers don’t have enough venues providing their kind of music. It’s a sentiment that is starting to be addressed (see “Some Wine with Your Jazz?” in this issue). Every Friday night, from about six to ten o’clock, you can find jazz - at the Wine Cafe on Hay Street, with the Paul Saunders Trio. If the weather cooperates and they play outdoors on the patio, it’s reminiscent of venues in bigger cities, maybe even European cities. When it all starts to flow, they corner the music of the night. We got there around seven o’clock, in time to catch the end of “Autumn Leaves” with its melodious phrasing. Paul pauses to introduce the trio, which has an extra guest player this evening, something he does off and on to vary the instrumentation. Paul Saunders was playing saxophone, Willie Lockett was on bass, Adam Mendleson on drums, and guest Aaron Lindsey on coronet. We’d heard Paul a few years back. We were impressed with the growth in both his demeanor and his musicianship. The night was sounding good. Their second number was a sort of funk jazz standard, a Roy Hargrove number “Strasbourg St. Denis.” Paul’s technique shifted from mellow to some wailing runs reminiscent of a wind dancing through tall trees. Willie’s bass provided a solid line of funk, and Adam’s drumming included some ‘stealworthy riffs,’ according to my drum-playing husband. Later in the set, they played “Along Came Betty,” with Paul and Aaron playing both separately and in tandem. The duet of sax and cornet was full of precise, clear tones with the cornet taking on just enough of a syrupy tone to make for smooth listening. Their repertoire included all sorts of jazz, classic and funk standards, along with some freeform and original tunes. Despite fighting with traffic noise, their sound was strong. The Wine Cafe patio creates a unique atmosphere with people stopping by, mountain bikers jumping speed bumps, motorcycles roaring a salute, and residents out for an evening stroll. Their audience ran the gamut from toddler to old folks. Paul was polite and welcoming to everyone with an enthusiastic handshake and engaging smile. Some of those stopping to listen and tip were other musicians. One such, a young man named Chris, and his friend Addie were here for their second time. Chris is a piano player, and he teased Paul a little about needing a keyboard. Ever ready for a jam session, Paul invited him to sit in. Chris declined, but later on, another musician, Alan Smith, walked up with a pocket trumpet. He sat in on a couple numbers, and provided vocals for “All of Me.” Another jazz-loving couple, Alexa and James, sat on one of the brick walls nearby. They’d heard the music when they left the movie house down the street and were enjoying the music immensely. “There’s not enough jazz in Fayetteville,” Alexa
sometimes includes a little arranging. In fact, he did an arrangement of “Strasbourg St. Denis” for the Army band, the same version the trio played. Music is just about all he does. He’s been lucky enough to fully support his family with it for the last eight years. Jazz is his first love, and he’s glad to have had the opportunity over the last six months to play more of it. Like many soldiers, Paul will be moved on, but that won’t stop the music. He’s preparing for an audition that may enable him to move to the next musical tier in the military. When he does move, no doubt he’ll build another trio. Paul is clear about the reasons he plays. “God has allowed me to have talent, and the number one thing I can do in gratitude is use it and share it with people to His glory,” he says. His second reason is the personal joy he gets from being able to do that. And using music to support his family satisfies their preferred lifestyle of having a dedicated breadwinner and someone dedicated to the home. Come on down to the Wine Cafe to catch the Paul Saunders Trio. He’s hoping to have CDs available for purchase soon, but come anyway - and make it clear to•A• everyone that jazz has a home in Fayetteville.
Willie Lockett on bass said, “so when we heard it - the music - we followed it up here.” It was some time before they left. Wine from the Wine Cafe and the Coffee Cup’s beverages and baked goods provide opportunity for refreshment. The Paul Saunders Trio has been playing for tips and the love of jazz at this location since last May. Paul and Willie have worked together frequently. And Paul has had some kind of trio going with varying configurations since around 2002. The personnel is dependent on location and availability, but he likes the size of that particular group. Music surrounded him growing up, and that family tradition continues. He started with piano in kindergarten and saxophone in fifth grade. He also plays a little flute, clarinet, electric bass and guitar. His wife, Andrea, played violin and piano through college, and their daughters, Aria and Ella, have both taken up instruments. Currently, Paul plays in what he refers to as an “augmented praise band” at Arran Lakes Baptist Church, two services a week. And then he has “this enlistment gig,” a full-time musician in the Army band at Fort Bragg, responsible for performing, prepping, and supporting their performances. This
Funky bass and wailin’ sax
Are you thinking about buying or selling a home? Have a question about real estate? Ask Tina. Meghan L. Eastover, NC asks…
How important is my credit score when it comes to purchasing a home?
Many people find out the hard way
that their credit score is something that should be monitored on a regular basis, and maintained in a positive light. Unfortunately many young, and some older folks, don’t realize how big of an effect their credit score has on many aspects of their life. If you have made some poor decisions, all hope is not lost credit can be repaired. The first step is to find out exactly where you stand. There are many sites, both paid and free, that can tell you the approximate credit score. I say approximate because lenders calculate based on a separate set of criteria. The easiest course of action is to select a lender that will work with you and help you with the repair. They can tell you exactly what they need to see in order to qualify you for a mortgage. There are many ways for your credit to be affected. Late payments, for example, can ruin your credit. Paying your bills on time is a must! Paying your debt down is also critical in this process.
Answered by Tina Renee Dawson
The lender will look at how much you owe and how much money you earn. Resist the urge to open new revolving credit card accounts at department stores, or to cancel any cards. They count even if you don’t use them. Having one credit card you use for everything, and trying to pay it off as soon as possible, is a good way to manage payments. As long as you don’t have any judgments or bankruptcies, credit can be repaired in as little as 6-12 months. However, having no credit at all can also be an issue. It is very important to begin to establish positive credit. Think about opening a major credit card account. Charge at least one item,
like gas, per month and then pay the bill on time. Try to stay away from revolving store type credit cards. If you are having a problem getting a major credit card, ask your bank about a secured credit card. You will need to put a set amount of money in the bank to act as a security deposit. This lets the bank know you are serious about establishing credit. Responsible spending and paying your bill on time will help to establish or rebuild your credit. Please keep in mind that a secured credit card is much different from a debit card. A debit card does nothing to improve your credit score. •A•
Send your real estate questions to Tina Dawson at firstname.lastname@example.org, or give her a call at 910-988-1969. Your question may be featured in an upcoming edition of Array.
Let it snow. Well, maybe. Snow was in the forecast last month with only
trace amounts compared to the 4-6 inches they were predicting for our area. With that said, it could happen again and maybe (hopefully) they will get it right this time. Just goes to show that you cannot predict the future, but you can prepare for it. I like the snow - but I am also prepared. You can be prepared for it also. Below are tips to keep ready for those winter conditions that may come to fruition. 1. Make sure you have your 72-hour kit stocked and at the ready. 2. Stay home. If you must drive, have a kit in your vehicle, slow down and keep a safe distance away from cars in front of you, don’t put on the brakes on ice patches, etc. • Something I tried last month was a better way to get the ice off my windshield. Take 1 part rubbing alcohol and 2 parts warm water, place in a spray bottle. Spray windshield with a good amount and let set for a few minutes, then scrape with ice scrapper.
Written by Steve Rogers
3. Prepare your pipes inside and out. Know where your water shut-off valve is located and how to turn it off. 4. Dress in layers if you do go outside and limit your time to two hours at a time. Come back in and warm up a bit. If you stay out longer and improperly dressed or wet, you risk frostbite/hypothermia, both of which could lead to injuries or even death. 5. If your power goes out, be sure to turn off or unplug all appliances and electronics. When power comes back on, you don’t wont to overload the electrical system with a surge or possibly start a fire by having a small appliance left on and forgotten. 6. Have fun, but remember your safety first. EOP – Emergency Operations Plan Does your employer, church or business have an EOP or an Emergency Procedures Handbook? Look for or ask your supervisor or pastor if this is something that they have. Take the time to read and comprehend what should take place during each crisis. It could
be something as simple as someone walking into your reception area with a bloody nose and asking for the bathroom. What would you do? It could be a bomb threat during Sunday service. What action do you take? These, among many more are instances that you need to be prepared for. Evacuate: • Bomb Threat • Fire • Hazardous Materials (if advised, may need to shelter in place) • Gas Leaks • Power outage/Electrical Problems Shelter in Place: • Tornado/Hurricane • Severe Weather • Weapon on Site/Active Shooter Other: • Abduction • Criminal Act or Suspicious Person • Hostage Situation • Medical Emergencies • Outrages or Disturbing Rants/Riots
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2nd Annual Wing Fling Saturday June 24, 2017 3-8 pm in Festival Park Be a COMPETITOR - Show you got the BEST chicken wings Be a VENDOR - Food trucks, merchandise, arts & crafts, business Be a SPONSOR - Support the cause of the Vision Resource Center (offering services for the blind and visually impaired community)
A family friendly event with wing tasting, live entertainment, kids zone, food, vendors and special guests. More safety, security and emergency preparedness tips will be in each monthly article. Any questions can be directed to Steve Rogers, Owner of Home Safe Home Inventory, LLC He can be reached by phone 910-884-7021 or email@example.com
For applications and more information: Call Vision Resource Center 910-483-2719 or Al Florez 910-494-2651
February 2017 Sunday
8:30 am Senio Ruth St, Spring
11 am Teen Bookmark Design Contest, Cliffdale Regional Library 6 pm Bull Riding on the Farm, Shady Acres
12 11 am Teen Bookmark
Design Contest, Cliffdale Branch Library 3 pm The Perfect Match Bridal Show, Metropolitan Room, Fayetteville
pm The Ultimate Bridal 19 12 Showcase, Cape Fear Botanical Garden
6 10am FREE Exercise Class 1422 Bragg Blvd
7 pm Java Jams, The Coffee Scene, 3818 Morganton Rd, Fayetteville
13 12:30 pm Hope Mills
Chamber Luncheon, Parks and Rec, Hope Mills 7 pm Java Jams, The Coffee Scene, 3818 Morganton Rd, Fayetteville
20 PRESIDENTS DAY 7 pm Java Jams, The Coffee Scene, 3818 Morganton Rd, Fayetteville
am Teen Bookmark 26 11 Design Contest, Cliffdale
am FREE Exercise Class, 27 10 Better Health, 1422 Bragg
6 pm Bull Riding on the Farm, Shady Acres
7 pm Java Jams, The Coffee Scene, 3818 Morganton Rd
9 am Pancake and Waffle Breakfast Fundraiser, 325 B St, Fayetteville 6 pm Wood, Wine & Whimsical, The Re-Store Warehouse, Fayetteville
8 2 pm Family P
By U Paint Par
7 pm Naughty Skeeterz on the Fayetteville
am D 14 HAPPY VALENTINES DAY 15 10:30 Grayâ€™s Creek 3 pm After School Classes at Capital Encore Academy, Fayetteville
2964 School S
9 pm Fayette The Rock Sho
pm Hip-Hop Underground 22 3 pm City Ma 21 7Nation, All Stars Bar & Grill, Fayetteville
7:30 pm Brain Candy Live!, Crown Center, Fayetteville
28 11 am Tai Chi for Health, 536 N. Eastern Blvd
11am From State House to Statehood - 325 Franklin St
9 pm Fayette The Rock Sho
or Exercise, 301 Lake
Paint Party, ART rty, Fayetteville
y Girl Bingo, e River,
Diabetes Clinic, Elem. School, St.
eville ART Attack, op, Fayetteville
arket at the 5 Franklin St
eville ART Attack, op, Fayetteville
To see more events and details, visit our calendar at ARRAYNC.com Friday
2 HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY 3 8:30 am Senior Exercise, 11 am Civil War Sesquicentennial Exhibit
9 6pm Wine Tastings at Luigi’s
528 North McPherson Church Road 6pm Diabetes Clinic – Better Health, 1422 Bragg Blvd
16 5:30 pm Wine & Whimsy,
Cape Fear Botanical Garden, Fayetteville 6 pm Dancing with the Stars Dance Preview, Huske Hardware, Fayetteville
7 pm Oldies, Rock and Blues Music, Hope Mills
4 9 am City Market at the
Museum, 325 Franklin St 9 am Cars & Coffee Car Show, Millstone Complex, Hope Mills
pm VerseUs Open Mic and 11 9 am City Market at the 10 7Discussion, The Big Apple, Fayetteville
8 pm August: Osage County, Gilbert Theater, Fayetteville
Museum, 325 Franklin St 9 am Cars & Coffee Car Show, Millstone Complex, Hope Mills
17 6 pm Oldies, Rock and Blues, 18 10 am Black History Quiz Hope Mills
8:30 pm Live Music at Luigi’s, Fayetteville
Bowl, Cross Creek Mall, Fayetteville
6 pm Evening Meditation Class, Prima Elements Holistic, Fayetteville
pm Wine Tasting at Luigi’s, 24 7 am Kiwanis 43rd Pancake am City Market at the 23 6Fayetteville 25 9Museum, Breakfast, 614 Oakridge Ave, 325 Franklin St 6 pm Diabetes Clinic, Better Health, 1422 Bragg Blvd
11 am 10th Annual Bread n Bowls, Hay St Methodist Church, Fayetteville
12 pm Art Market, The Sweet Palette,101 Person St, Fayetteville
Repurpose with a Purpose:
Written By Amanda Loftus
Although every day should be about loving yourself, your friends, and your family, February is often associated with showing your loved ones a little extra love. In a world connected by small and amazing electronic devices, there is still something special about receiving a handwritten letter. While browsing the furniture at the Habitat ReStore, I stumbled across this desk and fell in love. I’m excited to see what I find for the next issue! But, for now, here’s a quick tutorial on how to quickly change an old desk into a new workspace.
Project two: Step 1
Choose an actual wooden desk, with a solid foundation. Desks made of pressed wood/ composite will be more difficult to paint and repair. Determine what makes it special and what it needs work on.
Take off all hardware and fix everything that’s broken. The veneer top of this desk was cracked, but otherwise it was in great shape.
Prep the surface for paint. I personally like to use a thin coat of the least expensive ($0.96/can at Walmart) flat spray paint as a primer. It’s quick and I am always working on a budget!
Paint and seal. I had originally planned on using interior canned paint, but as my plan changed, so did my medium. I used about 4-5 cans of Antique White spray paint on the entire body of the desk. Wearing a mask is a must when using spray paint!
Remember to be creative, and don’t be afraid to try something bold. Enjoy the YOU in doing-it-YOUrself! Painting the sides of the drawers added a quick pop of color and attitude to the desk. I also decided to forgo the left side door and add the same fabric I redid the chair with.
Paint the hardware - I used Krylon DustyPink metallic spray. Once dry, reattach all hardware!
Write someone you love a love letter. •A•
For the top, I went for the slightly more expensive cheap 3/4” plywood at Lowe’s. To adhere the top to the body, I used Gorilla Glue for the entire surface and then used Liquid Nails along the edges. If you don’t have a set of clamps, now would be a good time to invest in some - they have so many uses! Next, stain and seal the top of the desk. I opted for the whitewashed look, but there are many different options for premade stain as well as many ways to make your own stain with vinegar and steel wool. As a topcoat, I used a coat of Triple Thick Polyurethane and then finished the entire desk with Paste Finishing Wax.
All of these items - and more - can be found at the Fayetteville Habitat for Humanity ReStore located at 3833 Bragg Boulevard. This desk will also be showcased at the ReStore and available to bid on during the month of February. All proceeds will be going to the ReStore and their community homeownership programs. Visit www.fayettevillenchabitat.org for more information on the Fayetteville Habitat for Humanity ArrayNC.com
Where Love Meets Politics:
T he First Couple of Spring Lake Written by Robin Minnick Photos courtesy of the Rey family
Theirs is a love affair that encompasses more than just each other. It shelters their children; it reaches out to their community and those they serve; it involves everyone they meet. From the deeply held love he has for his wife, to the love languages he uses with his family, right through to the daily concern he demonstrates for those he serves in his business and from his mayoral office, Chris Rey’s love appears boundless. In February - the month of love - what better way to exemplify this multifaceted emotion than with someone who does it so naturally?
Love languages. What a strange topic for discussion with a politician. But then, Chris V. Rey is not your standard politician. Mayor of Spring Lake since first elected in 2011, Chris divides his time among family, public service, and directing his non-profit, Cumberland HealthNET. To do so, he’s become fluent in love languages, those means of communicating love identified by Dr. Gary Chapman of Winston-Salem, NC. The subject arose as Chris was talking about the intentional means they use to raise their children. “When you’re part of a blended family, there’s things that put you in that space,” he says. “The dynamics can be positive or negative. The way we are with each other will affect how our kids’ views of relationships develop.”
QUALITY TIME: Giving your undivided attention. Chris’s relationship with his oldest son began when he learned of the child’s existence when he was about two-and-a-half. From that point on Chris made an effort to put himself in his son’s life. Jonathan is sixteen now, and a great athlete, as well someone who thinks deeply about life and service. Chris says, “I can see him thinking through the problems that plague people.” His daughter Caroline, even at twelve, seems ready to take up causes. She’s already run a lemonade stand and donated the proceeds to the local animal shelter for medical supplies. She’s volunteered there, too. Chris’s overall philosophy is simple: “I can never say I love you enough.” All men are different, he says, dependent on how they themselves were raised. Because Chris makes an effort to know what love language speaks to his son, Jonathan knows he’s loved no matter where he is. All their children do. Through the time spent with them and the gifts and hugs at times of celebration, they know they are loved. Adwoa Rey has a master’s degree in Divinity from Howard and is now working on a second a master’s degree in Family Therapy Counseling so that she has the proper training for what she wants to do. She believes as strongly as Chris in the purposeful, intentional raising of children. This all feeds into how they handle their lives and relationships. They call and they text their kids, and
whenever they can, “provide the best experience we can while they’re with us.” “A lot of folks, when they see the final picture of us,” says Chris, “they see the ‘final product,’ they think ‘that’s what I want...’ We made cognizant choices in our lives to make this picture what it is.” He adds, “There are tools out there to make this work.” They’re not trying to be perfect, just doing the best they can. PHYSICAL TOUCHING: Nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. It may go without saying, but in a family, touch plays in important part in communicating love. Photographs of the Reys illustrates this - the arm around a daughter here, husband and wife drawn close there, the little ones snuggled on the lap. People naturally do these sorts of things, and they are a part of the Rey family life. But, first, they were applied to the relationship between Chris and Adwoa. They met at what Chris describes as “a very interesting time in my life.” He was going through a difficult divorce, essentially at a very low point. “It’s amazing how you view yourself,” he says. “I wondered, why would anyone want to be with somebody like me?” He had two children, and he didn’t have his life together. They met at a Democratic caucus retreat in Williamsburg, Virginia. He was interning with Congressman John Lewis of Georgia, and she - Adwoa Ansah - was with Congressman John Larsen of Connecticut. She had been to this sort of thing before, but it was Chris’s first event. When she entered the room, he thought, “Wow, who’s that?” He had no courage to speak to her. She was sophisticated. She was like a light in the room, stopping at nearly every cluster of people she passed to speak to someone. Gradually she made her way to him - because he was the only one in the room she did not know. They made small talk, then she said, “Well, I’m getting ready to go back to DC. My Sabbath is getting ready to start.” There’s wonder in his voice. “It was a unique connecting point. This was a Friday night. We were both Seventh Day Adventists.” They exchanged numbers and agreed to stay in touch. That was as far as they could commit. She was a woman of faith and dating someone else. He knew he wasn’t ready for another serious relationship. So this became a comfortable one. Then he left Capitol Hill to go to law school at William and Mary in Willamsburg, Virginia. Their friendship continued to grow. She started a group on Capitol Hill called Women of Praise - offering women an opportunity to pray in conference calls - to help with the challenges of working in that environment and with those tasks that needed doing daily. It was this kind of thing and the constancy in their relationship that let Chris know what kind of woman she was; she was the real deal. She stayed in D.C. until he proposed. The incongruity of the circumstances did not escape
her. She’d never planned to live in the South or to marry a military man, yet here was Chris, proposing to her in Veteran’s Park in Fayetteville. He took her for a quiet afternoon at the park, strolling from monument to monument, reading the plaques and exploring how the topic written about on each one related to serving not only country, but people, especially one another. He’d hired local jazz musician, Reggie Codrington, and his band to play in the park. Adwoa didn’t know that wasn’t a normal part of things. At last they reached the final monument, which ‘happened’ to be right next to where he’d asked the musicians to set up. This plaque’s topic was ‘Commitment.’ To the background of jazz, he got down on one knee and proposed to her, on her birthday. Beyond her surprise and her answer and her excitement, she tried to call her family, but no one answered. So Chris took her to see his family, Adwoa still calling and still no one answering. Once at his house, his family greeted them in the living room and congratulated them. Then her mom and her sister walked in. Chris had brought them to Fayetteville for her. In August of 2012, the couple was married at Cape Fear Botanical Garden, catered by a company out of Pinehurst. It was a small ceremony with only one hundred guests -- fifty of the most important people in each of their lives. His son was best man, his daughter flower girl. “It was just amazing.” And then he confides that despite not being ready, he knew when he met Aodwa Ansah, “This was the person I was supposed to marry.” RECEIVING GIFTS: Gifts make some people feel most loved. This was an easy language to learn. Every family celebrates, and gifts are part of family celebrations. Everyone feels loved when gifts are involved. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: using words to affirm others. These - along with handshakes, high fives, and pats on the back - often go to the people Chris works with at HealthNET or through the Mayor’s office. On the Mayor’s facebook page, he commends Spring Lake citizens for donating two thousand hours to examining and straightening out information from a recent audit. He expressed pride in his friend and new District Court Judge, Tiffany Whitfield, on the day she was sworn in as the newest Cumberland County District
Shooting a commercial for a local jeweler Court Judge. He publicly thanked his HealthNET staff for participating in the 22 Push-up Challenge to bring awareness to the 22 veterans that commit suicide every day. He has congratulated children’s sports teams for their success and praised others who have worked hard to achieve goals and contribute. Such words go a long way to make people feel appreciated and loved, and employing them shows great consideration for those he cares about. ACTS OF SERVICE: Actions speak louder than words. This, for Chris Rey, is at the core of his being. It is what he does, what he advocates, and what he models for his children. “I was born to serve,” he says frequently, and his family in his decisions understand that this is what he does and who he is. They benefit from his acts of service directly to them, and they benefit in that, by seeing what he does, it affirms in them the same urge they feel to serve. Dealing with change The country has completed a contentious election during which both sides were guilty of extreme rhetoric, insults, and varying amounts of fearmongering. The resulting administration is of an opposing party, with
Love Languages are those means of communicating love as identified by Dr. Gary Chapman of Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, NC. Generally spoken of in reference to romantic love, these languages can have multiple applications. People can use more than one, although often they have a favorite. Chapman identified five distinct love languages: quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, giving/receiving gifts, and acts of service. • Quality Time: This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. • Physical Touching: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. • Receiving Gifts: For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. • Words Of Affirmation: This language uses words to affirm other people • Acts Of Service: For these people, actions speak louder than words.
Of all Chris Rey has done, he is proudest of having served his country. He makes no bones about saying so. Still, he mainly looks to the future. His own words, shared on his Facebook page, describe his outlook and his wishes for others best. “I am a dad, I am a husband, I am a son and brother. I am a veteran, I am a mayor, I am a professor, I am lawyer, I am tech guy. I am a executive director, I am a lover of people, I am a friend, I am a sigma. I am a motivational speaker, I am a believer. “Don’t let folks limit who you are and what you can be. Let 2017 be your year to know who you are. I am just getting started.” •A•
Jonathan, Chris Rey, Eva, Adwoa, and Caroline very different ideas about governing and what is right for America than many Democrats. Chris Rey is a black Democratic mayor of a town in North Carolina that has its own share of diversity. He runs a non-profit that finds insurance resources for those who don’t have them. What is it like for Chris as mayor? How does he navigate the next four years? He chuckles a little before answering. “I’ve learned that a lot of folks in DC don’t really know how Main Street works.” A lot of what they decide there, says Chris, will not affect that fact that he has to meet the daily needs for street and traffic lights and trash pickup and services in the community. Banking and regulatory issues, however, can affect the lending ability of financial institutions - who lend money to the developers who then spark how the city grows. How Washington’s actions affects the entrepreneurs will affect what Spring Lake’s mayor needs to do. If the entrepreneurs are set, Chris can do what he needs regardless of the positioning and rhetoric going on in Washington. Finally, Republicans say they’re going to repeal the Affordable Care Act. Does he find that threatening? “What is important,” he says, “is what it is replaced with, that it not take away that under the current law; we’ve added 20 million people receiving coverage. They must keep it, and it needs to expand.” It’s essentially a waiting game. He will keep on doing what he’s doing in health care until the environment changes, and then he will adjust course to keep on serving the people of Spring Lake and the people HealthNET assists.
Dear Shanessa, I am a young male with two jobs and I am tired of people telling me that I work too much. I am also in college working on my graduate degree. I thought I was doing what I am supposed to do but keep getting comments about doing too much. Please help me. Signed, -Mr. Work Too Much
SECURITY PACKAGES No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; - Isaiah 54:17 KJV
Dear Mr. Work Too Much, Please continue to work and go to school. No one wants a broke man and yes you are doing what you are supposed to do. “If a man does not work, he shall not eat.” Best of luck,
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Array of Pets
The Fayetteville Animal Protection Society, Inc (FAPS) provides a licensed, no-kill shelter. Anyone interested in these animals or others should phone 910-864-9040 or visit 3927 Bragg Blvd, Fayetteville. Photos by www.JeniferFennellPhotography.com
Name: Cali Age: 2 years Sex: Female Breed: Domestic Shorthair I’m a tiny adult cat. I often get mistaken for kittens that are in the same room as me. I’m affectionate, and quiet. I like to explore. (I’m a curious cat!) I would love a space that is all mine, free of noise and stress. I’m ready to live my life of peace and luxury.
Name: Sammie Age: 10 years Sex: Female Breed: Boston Terrier Mix Weight: 30 lbs I am a spunky, sweet girl with tons of love to give. My owners took me to animal control to be euthanized because they said I had cancer. My friends at FAPS came and picked me up and Turns out, I don’t have cancer! It was just a fatty lump! I’m a healthy happy girl and I just want a nice warm home to call my own!
Name: Emily Age: 12 years Sex: Female Breed: Domestic Shorthair My friends here at FAPS say that I’m Sassy, and they are probably right! I’m an attention hog, but I want to be pet my way, when I want to! I guess you could say I’m the Queen, because I want to be treated like royalty!
Name: Merry Age: 1.5 years Sex: Female Breed: Shepherd Mix Weight: 40 lbs I’m playful and energetic! I love to run, run, run! I would do really well with another dog to play with! I could also be a great snuggle partner! Let’s go out and play!
Name: Minnie Age:14 years Sex: Female Breed: Domestic Shorthair I love everyone! I am probably the sweetest cat you’ll ever meet. (no, really!) People, cats, or dogs, it doesn’t matter I love them! I just want a warm body to snuggle up with! I can often be found with my best friend Mia, snuggled up and taking a nap!
Name: Maggie Age: 2 years Sex: Female Breed: Hound Mix Weight: 35 lbs I’m full of energy! I love to run and play. I would be great for folks that like to be outdoors, go hiking, or even run agility courses! Turns out, I also aspire to be a lap dog! Why should small dogs get all the cuddles? I want to be in your lap too!
See more Array of Pets on our website: www.ArrayNC.com
Written by Robin Minnick Photos courtesy of the Fayetteville Symphony
“There’s not enough jazz in
Fayetteville.” That’s what President and CEO of the Fayetteville Symphony, Christine Kastner, kept hearing from people. Members of the symphony itself like and play jazz. So in 2015, when it came time to plan a fundraiser for the symphony, they opted to put on a festival that would offer jazz music for listening and wine and beer for tasting. They reached out to area colleges with jazz programs and asked the professors to bring their performing groups. They wound up with jazz bands and a cappella groups from Duke, East Carolina, Methodist University, and NC State. “It was amazing to see the talent in these college kids!” says Christine. The event is a fundraiser for the symphony, but it also fits in with their mission statement. One of the tenets is “to educate, entertain, and inspire the citizens of the Fayetteville, North Carolina region as the leading musical resource.” This past fall the date was set for October 7. Then Hurricane Matthew
rolled through - and caused the event to be cancelled. Luckily, what they actually did was postpone. It took some scrambling, because the park has to be booked months in advance, and with new semesters coming up, professors didn’t know what kind of schedule their groups would have. However, the park came through with a date of April 7 at six in the evening. Their ‘sound guy’ coordinated for appropriate mics and set change preparation. The universities started working out schedules; Pembroke and Fayetteville State have both recommitted. As more universities sign up and details are available, the Fayetteville Symphony facebook page and their web site will update their information. Admission is twenty-five dollars a ticket and provides beer and wine samples with a souvenir glass. The VIP tent, which is limited to 150 people and includes hors d’oevres, requires a forty-five dollar ticket. People who come just for the music pay only ten dollars. And for food, they’ll have local food trucks lined up; R-Burger has already committed. Christine is excited about giving these students the opportunity
to perform. In general, they ask any school with a jazz program to perform, and each school is given a roughly thirty-minute spot. Since not all the schools can participate, asking as many as they can guarantees they’ll have enough performers. It provides an opportunity for the bands to perform for the public and share what they do. According to Christine, East Carolina had a “fabulous” jazz combo last time, while Duke provided a large jazz band with vocalists. The organizers chose to throw in an a cappella group to perform during set changes, making “a little something for everyone,” says Christine. These were well-received and made audiences of all musical persuasions happy. The Festival was a great success. They are expecting the same this year. The park is a great place to come down to and listen to the jazz and drink a glass of wine, but Christine’s favorite part is offering the opportunity for the college kids to perform, to come to Fayetteville and be seen. She adds, “I encourage everyone to come out and support these college musicians.” •A•
Written by Brenda Brown
Social Security Public Affairs Specialist in Fayetteville, NC
Social Security Is Always Evolving
Social Security is always evolving to meet the needs of
the American public. We are optimistic about the future and the limitless possibilities for progress. Much of the progress we have made together, as a nation, is through the shared responsibility of paying Federal Insurance Contributions Act (FICA) tax. This federal payroll tax funds Social Security— programs that provide benefits for retirees, the disabled, and children of deceased workers. You help us keep millions of hard working Americans out of poverty. Without your contribution, wounded warriors would not receive the benefits they deserve. Children who have lost parents would have no social safety net. Millions of elderly people would be destitute. In the same way that we take great pride in helping people who need it, you should take pride in making this country stronger. You can see the many ways our retirement benefits help your loved ones and neighbors at www.socialsecurity.gov/retire. The strength of our nation relies on cooperation and the empathy to understand each other’s unique struggles. Similarly, Social Security has an obligation to provide benefits quickly to applicants whose medical conditions are so serious that their conditions obviously meet
disability standards. Compassionate Allowances offer a way of quickly identifying diseases and other medical conditions that invariably qualify under the Listing of Impairments based on minimal objective medical information. This also lets Social Security target the most obviously disabled individuals for allowances based on objective medical information that we can obtain quickly. You can view the list of Compassionate Allowances at www.socialsecurity.gov/compassionateallowances. Our diversity is an asset that can bring us together, making us stronger as a nation. Visit www.socialSecurity. gov to empower your future, for today and tomorrow. •A• Brenda Brown has been with the Social Security Administration for over 40 years. She began her career with Social Security as a Service Representative in the Reidsville, NC field office. She transferred to the Fayetteville, NC field office in March 1975 as a Service Representative and later promoted to a Claims Representative. She has worked as a Public Affairs Specialist since 2008. As the Public Affairs Specialist, she is responsible for providing information to the media, other employees and the public regarding Social Security issues and policies. She covers the Southeastern and Piedmont Triad area of North Carolina. Brenda is available to speak to groups in almost any setting in her efforts to educate the public about their Social Security Program. Brenda is a graduate of Johnson C. Smith University in Charlotte, NC.
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Written by L. Wayne Smalls
As leaders, it should be our goal to
become better and more effective leaders. In order to do this, we must possess the integrity to conduct periodic self-evaluations to identify strengths and weaknesses. You may confirm for yourself that you are an excellent leader with a high level of leadership effectiveness. If this is the case, that’s great! If you discover that you have weaknesses that could be negatively affecting your ability to lead, don’t worry! We all have room for growth and there are actions we can take to improve our leadership ability, thereby increasing our leadership effectiveness. Here are just a few: 1. Treasure your experiences– Don’t lose the opportunity for growth when you have experiences, good or bad. We can learn a lesson from every experience. Many people
make the mistake of looking beyond their past experiences, especially the negative ones. Confucius says, “Study the past, if you would divine the future.” Ultimately, it is up to us to evaluate our past experiences, take away the lessons learned and move on without allowing that experience to form our future. 2. Invest in your growth – If you really want to take your leadership ability to the next level, you must be willing to invest in yourself. You can read books from your favorite leadership gurus. If you don’t have any, this will be your implied task. Find a couple leadership experts to follow and start building your reading catalog. There are too many to name in full, but here are some: John C. Maxwell, Anthony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, W. Clement Stone and Napolean Hill.
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This should be enough to get you started. You should also regularly attend seminars, workshops and mastermind groups live and/or online. Doing this on a regular basis will add to your library of knowledge. The more you know, the more you can share with the people you lead, thereby empowering them and helping them grow. 3. Get a mentor or coach – Every great leader has a mentor or a coach to help them along in their career. No leader has ever become great all by themselves. Having a mentor or coach can expose you to the opportunities to experience exponential growth professionally and personally. Remember, there is a distinct difference between a coach and a mentor. Coaching is performance-driven, taskoriented and is usually short-term and structured in a more formal environment. Mentoring, on the other hand, is an informal alliance focused on building a two-way, mutually beneficial relationship for long-term career development. These three actions are a great place for anyone to start for leadership growth. If followed, they will allow you to experience an incredible amount of growth in your leadership ability. Always remember this! The one thing we all must know about leadership is that there is no one thing to know about leadership. Becoming a great leader is a life-long commitment to growing and learning. Great leaders always empower, enable and enhance everyone in their sphere of influence - including themselves. •A• Wayne is CEO of L. Wayne Smalls & Associates, LLC., an independent leadership trainer and coach certified by the John Maxwell Team; radio show co-host; author; retired Army Officer; doctoral student of Bus. Admin. and Leadership; has a passion for empowering, enabling and enhancing leaders. He does this by promoting the power of connection as well as personal and professional growth and development.
How a Parade was Made Written by Amanda Loftus
In 2016, close to 45 million children and adults
celebrated the National Education Association’s (NEA) Read Across America Day on March 2nd. Of all the days in the year to celebrate reading, what better day to choose than the birthday of the amazingly talented Theodor Seuss Geisel who is most widely known as Dr. Seuss! The National Education Association represents over three million elementary and secondary teachers, college faculty, school administrators, education support professionals, retired educators and students preparing to become teachers. NEA’s Read Across America began in 1998, as a way to celebrate the legacy of Dr. Seuss by encouraging children to read and to enjoy reading. That’s exactly what Kameo Events and Marketing Services plan to bring to Spring Lake on March 4th with the Dr. Seuss Inaugural Birthday Parade and Family Fun Day. The Parade will start at 9am at the New Bridge over Bragg Boulevard at the gateway into Spring Lake and continue to march down Main Street to Ruth Street and take Ruth Street to the Recreation Center where there will be tons of food, fun, and ArrayNC.com 38
vendors until 2pm. The wheels have been turning in Kristy Sykes’ mind for the past few years, and this March, she will be marching for education, children, and The Cat in the Hat! “I just kept thinking: what can we do to keep encouraging our youth in learning the fundamentals of reading and yet continue to make learning a fun thing for them?” says Kristy, the owner of Kameo Events and Marketing Services. “In 2016, just before Thanksgiving, the Town of Spring Lake gave its blessing to host the Parade and we have been full speed ahead since.” A lot of work goes into planning such an event, but that’s something Kristy I promise to read does very well! Each day and each night. Kameo Events I know it's the key is also hosting To growing up right. the “Dinner I'll read to myself, and a Book I'll read to a crowd. It makes no difference with Dr. Seuss” If silent or loud. spaghetti dinner on March 2nd I'll read at my desk, At home and at school, to celebrate the On my bean bag or bed, author’s birthday. By the ﬁre or pool. “We have a fun Each book that I read dinner along with Puts smarts in my head, birthday cake, 'Cause brains grow more thoughts of course! There The more they are fed. are also different So I take this oath reading corners To make reading my way and educational Of feeding my brain What it needs every day. stations set up that the children can — Debra Beckman, Missouri NEA go to, to learn and have fun.” “The moment we persuade a child to pick up a book for the www.nea.org/readacross first time we change their lives
forever for the better, and on Read Across America Day, we recommit to getting literary works into our young peoples’ hands early and often,” said President Barack Obama during his 2016 Presidential Proclamation for Read Across America Day. “I call upon children, families, educators, librarians, public officials, and all the people of the United States to observe this day with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.” So, whether it’s your favorite Dr. Seuss book, old favorite, or exciting new novel, we encourage you to grab your hat and read with the cat! Since the very beginning in 1998, parents, caregivers educators and students alike have embraced Read Across America and helped turn it into the largest reading celebration in the nation. “My personal favorite is One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish!” exclaims Kristy.
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. For more information on the National Education Association’s Read Across America Day activities and additional information on ways to participate, visit www.nea. org/readacross. If you would like to participant in the parade as a vendor or sponsor, you can contact Kristy directly at email@example.com or 910-797-9568. •A•
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Free Hugs are Priceless
Written by Amanda Loftus
Empowerment is more than just a word for Jamie
Pendergrass, Founder of Pneuma Empowerment Group LLC - it’s a way of life. Being raised by his grandmother, Earline Edwards, he understood that love is more than just a word. “I wasn’t raised in a home where affection was shown very much. Neither was it a practice to say the words, ‘I love you’,” he says. “Without affection or hearing those words, somehow I still knew that I was loved.” It was the actions and sacrifices that his grandmother had to make to raise him on her own that solidified the idea that love is deep and love is sometimes invisible, but it is still there. Jamie used the lessons he had learned as a child and young adult to build the life that he now enjoys with his wife and three children. “It was through hugging my family that I learned to embrace my community,” says Jamie. So, when the idea of bringing the ‘Free Hugs Project’ to our community, here in Fayetteville, it felt natural to him. “It was already in my heart to make a difference.” What motived Jamie to get involved in the community was the media and its overbearing negativity. He adds, “We simply want to be the change we seek in our city, and in neighboring cities.” So, through those feelings of community and selflessness, Jamie and a group of like-minded people began to bring love to the heart of the city of Fayetteville with the Free Hugs Project. “I found a video clip where a young man in California was walking through his city, hugging random people. He showed love to everyone who would receive it. Not once did he neglect to show love to the people who entered his path.” From that simple video, the Free Hugs Project made its way into Fayetteville. During times of uncertainty, division, and tension in a community, there are invisible walls being put up around ourselves. Feeling the caring embrace from a total stranger breaks down a tiny piece of that wall and helps remind us that we are not alone in this world. “To some, a simple hug can be a game changer,” Jamie expresses. “There were a few people who broke down crying in our arms.” Pain isn’t always visible, but as humans, we are biologically tuned to the power of body language and touch. There has been an abundant amount of research that has gone into
the effects of touch and emotional understanding in society. Many psychologists have devoted their studies to this topic and have been able to demonstrate proven results showing that we have instinctual abilities to understand and actually feel emotions of others by a simple touch. In addition to the instant exchange of positive feelings that come from the Free Hugs, there are many other benefits for both the hugger and the hugee. According to Jamie, hugs create a sense of security, and positive feelings about life, taking away feelings of loneliness, and become a catalyst for social bonding, “Hugs have a way of reminding people that we are not in this world alone.” Jamie and others involved in the movement follow their hearts when it comes to when and where to give free hugs. It may be a parade, marathon, or any other time during a normal day. They are simply led from within to spread the word and feeling of love. “One morning, while giving Free Hugs at an event hosted at the Crown Coliseum, we met District Court Judge, Tiffany Whitfield. Not only did she receive a hug, but she encouraged us to keep doing positive things in our community,” he says. “It motivated me to hear her say that.” As Jamie says, there is no hidden agenda - only a heart to serve. Being an executive coach and leadership trainer, it seems that motivation, understanding, and empowerment come naturally to him. Even with the skills and his varied experience with people in general, sometimes he is denied his open arms. While there are a number of reasons to be denied, Jamie is not deterred. “ [it] doesn’t stop me from speaking kind words to them,” he explains. “Some have said, ‘I’m not a hugger, but I’ll do a handshake.’ I think the important thing is letting people know that someone cares.” That’s all that the Free Hugs Project is about showing love. In the year to come, free hugs will continue to be given throughout the community at no cost - they are truly free. But the return on the investment of a good hug is priceless. In fact, Jamie’s favorite part about giving free hugs is knowing that love has an endless supply. “It will always be in demand…it makes me feel like I’m doing my part by sowing seeds of love into the lives of others.”•A•
First, Love Yourself
How often do you hear women saying, “I
just don’t have time to (fill in the blank) for myself”? One of the biggest challenges shared by most women (whether in business or not) is the propensity to give so much of themselves to others that they fail to give to themselves at all. Could it be perceived that to insist that someone put themselves first be considered a suggestion to be egotistical or selfish? I believe that when we truly consider the importance of each person in this world, in our community, in our circle and in our family, it would be beneficial to everyone that each person lives, performs and exists in their best optimal condition. Wouldn’t it serve us all well when the person typically serving as the caregiver (or whatever vital role) be in their best optimal condition? And, when you consider that love is the highest possible positive vibration, doesn’t it just make sense that it be the first thing given to oneself? So if you agree that in this new year you are committed to “First, love yourself”, what are some practical ways in which you can successfully accomplish this task? Here are responses shared with me from women I think are pretty cool. They were asked, “What do you do and how to you benefit from loving yourself?”
Written by Anissa Short
“Exercise….It’s helpful to think more clearly and feel less stressed overall, definitely when there’s a lot going on. I also get to listen to my favorite tunes and sing loudly, which makes me happy…” - Andrea, Pink Tech Diva/Entrepreneur (Nevada) “I take time for myself on a regular basis. It may be getting my nails done, or meditating. I repeat positive affirmations and try to surround myself with positive people. This keeps me energized, keeps me from having issues with my health, and I am able to keep a smile on my face and stay motivated..” - AnneMarie Ziegler, Entrepreneur/ Publisher, Array Magazine (North Carolina)
When the wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, coworker, business owner operates in their best optimal condition, they not only serve in their various capacities in the best possible way, but they do so in a manner than allows them to feel the most fulfilled, whole and balanced. When they are in their best optimal condition, they are better prepared to pour into others…. to serve. When they are in their best optimal condition, they are truly loving themselves first and therefore, they can better love others. Sound familiar? ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ •A•
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Beauty Drives the Fun! Written by Amy Garner
Classy Southern charm embraces you the moment
you walk into the Mystic Retreat Med Spa and Weight Loss Center. I literally felt a little prettier, a little more empowered, as I stepped into the elegant lobby and joined the two smiling women who own the place. As we began to talk, I felt myself melt into the intertwining voices of Dr. Misty Sinclair and Marcia Ballard, FNP-BC. Marcia runs the family practice next door and she is still in her doctor coat and scrubs. She is all bubbly business as she explains how she and Misty met. “We were two women in a predominantly male field: medicine. We met through our medical associations and we have been best friends for a long time. We have lunch when we can and….” Misty chimes in. “One day we were having lunch and talking about how we needed something happy. “ Then Marcia again, “We were just talking and talking about how we’d had a lot of sick patients, we were working hard and we were having to tell people bad news, brain tumors, that sort of thing. And we decided we wanted something fun. So we opened a spa and wanted people to feel good coming in and feel beautiful.” Dr. Misty Sinclair graduated from West Texas A&M Summa Cum Laude and attended medical school at Texas Tech University. Her residency brought her to North Carolina via Wake Forest. She has lived and practiced in NC for over 15 years. She is boarded in Neurology and Sleep medicine. “For me, in working with the face, I already know all the muscles of the face, all the
nerves in the face so I sort of have an advantage there. I know what the muscles do being a neurologist. The sides of a person’s face is more sister and brother than they are twins in most cases. When we look at beauty, we are looking for something symmetric. Because of my other training, I can identify where the brow is higher on one side and I am able to manipulate the facial muscles with the filler or Botox - I can correct that and make it more symmetric which enhances a man or a woman’s existing beauty. The more symmetric our features are, the more beautiful the face.” While at Wake Forest she was involved with some of the early trials for Botox, and now she is a certified Botox trainer. She is also certified in the use of Botox, Juvederm, Voluma, Coolsculpting, and Kybella. On working in the spa business, she says that making someone feel better about themselves is better than any antidepressant that could ever be prescribed. She enjoys making people happy, especially in an environment that is “lowkey. We don’t rush people in and out. We both already have a job. Mystic Retreat is not something we are doing to make money. We do this for fun!” Marcia graduated from UNC-CH with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, with honors. She received her Masters of Science (in Nursing and Family Nurse Practitioner) from Duke University in 1996. She is also certified in the use of Botox, Juvederm, Voluma, Coolsculpting, Kybella and
Aesthetics. She has been practicing Family Medicine in Carthage for over 20 years. Her passion for building selfconfidence and health maintenance is evident as we take a quick tour of Mystic Retreat. I ask her how they named the spa, and she proceeds to explain how she and Misty were “brainstorming one night and we knew we wanted something calming, so when people walk in they just feel good. And I said, ‘I like Mystic and it sort of has Misty’s name in it’.” She laughed and went on, “It felt right. Then Misty told me later that her own son was opening a brewery in the Raleigh area and the name of the brewery is Mystic. I didn’t even know that. How cool is that?” Marcia continues to see patients in her private practice next door. “They love that we are doing both. They are always asking us what we are doing new. We also have a lot of patients from surrounding cities, too. We want to have the best equipment and the best training. We love it and we work really hard at it to make it a good experience for our patients.” Another advantage of working with two medical experts is their approach to aging as a disease. “We work with them from the inside, out,” explained Misty. “We have the experience and the knowledge to really talk with our folks about eating healthy, and the effects of stress and other life factors on their faces and on their bodies. That is something that makes it truly unique is our holistic approach.” I had to ask them if they looked more closely at faces, like in line at the grocery store or were they scrutinizing the lines around my eyes or the valleys in my forehead. Did they struggle with that sort of occupational hazard? Misty started to answer - “Well, it goes both ways…” and then, Marcia continued. “We look. But people are looking at us even more. I mean, heck, we work here. We are walking, talking billboards and people are always judging our faces now. And we are still having fun!” •A•
Marcia Ballard, FNC-BC and Dr. Misty Sinclair
Mystic Retreat Med Spa and Weight Loss Center is located at 1001 Monroe Street in Carthage. You can make an appointment or view their menu of services at www.mysticretreatmedspa.com or by phone at (910) 947-6000.
this tion of f n e M 0% or 1 f d a
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February isn’t just for lovers…it’s for
Written and eaten by Angel West
Well February is here and while we had good
intentions for eating healthy and losing weight in 2017 it’s not as easy as it was the first week of January! Sweet potatoes are as Southern as North Carolina, are healthy and can be fixed in so many ways. Some days I just like to have a big ole sweet tater with a dash of cinnamon and some butter (or the healthy kind that isn’t really butter …or is it??) Did you know that sweet potatoes were already being grown here when Columbus stopped for a visit in 1492? Sweet potatoes are here year-round and contain all types of good things for you AND are low in calories! They can be grilled, baked, mashed, microwaved and cooked in the crock pot! Thanks to my girlfriend for sharing this recipe with me so I can now switch it up. However, I can’t get a picture of the Sweet Potato Fritters before they are all gone (and you know they will be easy to make if I’m making them)!
• 1 large egg • 1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese (I like extra sharp but that’s just me) • 3 cups of shredded sweet potatoes (that’s about 1 large potato) • 1/3 cup of flour (you can use white wheat or wheat) • ½ to 1 cup of diced red onions • 1 tablespoon of garlic powder • ¼ teaspoon of cayenne pepper • ¼ cup of chopped chives • Salt and pepper to taste • Olive oil 44
Sweet Taters! Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 400°F and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper 2. Peel the large sweet potato and then use a cheese grater to grate the sweet potato so you form a hash. If the grater has various sizes, use the largest one. 3. Place 3 cups of the grated sweet potatoes and all your other ingredients into a large bowl and mix together. I mix it with my hands. 4. Once you have everything mixed up (you can use a ¼ cup scoop for measuring if you want) gather up the mixture into your hands and press together. You will want to squeeze out as much air as possible to create a patty ( Just like making a hamburger). Place the patties on the lined cookie sheet and drizzle with olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. 5. Bake at 400°F for about 30 minutes or until the tops have started turning a golden brown.
It takes about 15 minutes to fix, 30 minutes to cook and serves around 12. You could make ahead of time and place in a plastic baggie in the freezer with parchment or wax paper between and pull out one at a time for a quick meal. Serve with beans or any type of vegetable for a well-rounded healthy meal. Enjoy! •A•
What is Your Why “Belinda”, my mom said, “Read
this and tell me what I have to do. I don’t have time to read through all of this.” I heard this countless times throughout my high school years and never gave it a second thought. Another time, my eighth grade school counselor said, “You know, your people don’t go to college. Maybe you should consider being a secretary like Mrs. Varela.” Mrs. Varela worked in the main office of my then K-9 school. This pronouncement happened after he and I discussed my research paper (the one he gave an A) on the preparation necessary to become an educator. My mom was functionally illiterate,
something I did not realize until I was in college. Despite her lack of formal education (she dropped out in 10th grade), she worked hard, bought a house and made a way for her children. She went on to become the Director of Guidance at what became a middle school. Two people motivated me in different ways, one through hard work and her example of letting your strengths, not your deficits, define who you are, and the other, who refused to see my strengths and chose to assign deficits to me. They both taught me a valuable lesson on “my why”. I believe education is one of the most pressing social justice issues
Victoria Hardin 1314 Raeford Road, STE D, Fayetteville, NC 28305
Written by Dr. Belinda J. Wilkerson in our country. I believe that my mom’s life might have had a different trajectory with a better education. I imagine how other students may have internalized and believed their assigned deficits were greater than their strengths. Access and equity in education is my why. •A•
Dr. Belinda J. Wilkerson is the founder of Steps To The Future, LLC, a college and career counseling service, which provides students and families with personalized planning and preparation for college admission onsite and online. For more information, go to www.steps2thefuture. com, call 401.447.4273 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
In more than a decade of practice, Victoria Hardin has earned the trust of clients and legal professionals alike. She is a familiar and respected presence in Cumberland County. • Divorce • Custody • Child Support • Alimony • Property Division • Domestic Violence
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Publisher’s Note “The giving of love is an education in itself.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt While February is the month of love, those that
are not in a relationship often hate or dread this month. On this wonderful journey that I’m on I realize how important it is to love yourself first. If you do not love yourself, then you cannot truly love someone else. When we love ourselves, then we take care of ourselves, which then allows us to have the energy and compassion to love and care for others. So many now are having to open their home back up to grown children, or take over the care of grandchildren, or take care of aging parents. While in past generations and cultures, the family lived near each other or in the “home place’ together, that has not become the norm in more recent years. While baby boomers are reaching a place where they should be enjoying that empty nest and the life they worked so hard to put into place, they often must shuffle their busy schedules around to take care of aging parents. There may be a reason a grown child has had to move back in, or a tragedy of some type where you are now the caregiver of a grandchild or grandchildren. You may have all three situations that you are handling at one time. While we put the needs of others before ourselves, then we become sick and unable to go forward because we basically did not feel we deserved the love, time and space we need to give to ourselves. It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship or have others that you must care for…you must care and love yourself! There are many ways to care for yourself and can take very little time out of your already jammed packed day, week or month! Just stop and take the time to love yourself so you can love others. While the country brought in a new President recently, which has caused conflict, anger and hatred for some, and extreme joy for others, we must love each other no matter what political side we are on. A single election has divided families and friends, which probably has not happened on this level since the Civil War. Again, we need to respect the rights of others, their beliefs, opinions and love them. That one belief or one opinion does not make them any different than they were two years ago, two months ago, or two days ago. We must love each other and ArrayNC.com 48
not allow this to divide us as a country, a family or as friends. Anger hurts everyone. We must love each other and work together to make this a better place for those that follow us in the generations to come. Life is very short and unexpected things happen that can change the lives of so many. Never let a day pass that you miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them, to apologize for the misunderstanding, to try and move past old hurts. There have been several tragedies of people close to me where they have lost a family member unexpectedly, without any time to say “Good bye”, “I love you”, “You mean a lot to me” or even a “Thank you”. Take the time to love yourself, the time to say “I love you”, take the time to mend past wrongs or hurts, take time to say “hello” to a stranger who may become a friend. You can never have too many friends. A kind word to others and to yourself can make all the difference in the outlook of the day or your life. I love and appreciate each one that picks up ARRAY, that advertises with us, that is part of Team ARRAY, or that is involved in any way with ARRAY, my friends and my family. Each of you make me smile each morning and it encourages me to love myself, so I can help to do more for our wonderful community!
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