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LIVE

with Phil Bunton

that it was on the side of the stage. Or more precisely slightly behind the side of the stage. And way up in the sky. Candice said that we’re in the nosebleed section. Worse than that we were so high up, my head felt it would implode from lack of oxygen. At times, I could see clouds around me. I just hoped it wouldn’t rain.

Sky high in New Jersey: So it was our wedding anniversary—a time of dread for any husband. Should it be flowers? Should it be candy? Should it be something much more exciting and a lot less humdrum? So when I discovered that Cher was singing in our area, I thought: I’m saved. Not quite, Philbo! I went online and discovered the premier seats at the Prudential in Newark were $700 to $1,000 per seat! That’s nearly expensive as one of Cher’s skimpy outfits. Anyway, I finally found seats at a price I could afford. The only problem is 54 / Rivertown Magazine June 2019

A friend who saw us there told us the next day: “Do you know who was sitting behind you?”

Well, Cher is the grandma we all wished we had. Funny, talented and sexy. Just like my wife! Cher is touring for most of the year so look out for her. And save up for the best seats. It’s worth it. And my wife agrees! What do you call a singer gently swaying from one side to another? A rocking Cher.

No, I replied.

What did Cher say to the orphan pig she rescued?

“No one,” said my smart-ass friend.

Babe, I got you babe.

When the supporting act came on, we couldn’t even see them—unless we looked at the TV screen pointing in our direction. Several hundred dollars to watch TV, I thought. Candice gave me a dirty look. Uh oh.

On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. “Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?” Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness—and many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

Then Cher came on. The stage opened up. And this gorgeous 73-year-old woman strutted out. My god, she looked fabulous. As she said to the audience: “Do you know what YOUR grandma is doing tonight?”

Profile for Rivertown Magazine

Rivertown Magazine June 2019  

Rivertown Magazine's June issue is the best way to get a jump start on summer. Get to know the latest local news heading into the warmer mo...

Rivertown Magazine June 2019  

Rivertown Magazine's June issue is the best way to get a jump start on summer. Get to know the latest local news heading into the warmer mo...