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THE BURPINGHAM NEWS | THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 2013

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How it all begins

9GAG is an image-based social media website which centres around user-uploaded, comical images dubbed “gags”. The site had 1 billion monthly pageviews as of Dec 2011.[4] The website is mainly known for recurring use of internet memes. Characters are usually poorly designed and usually in black and white which is part of the central focus of the humor in the site.[6] Similarly to websites like reddit and Digg, users can vote and comment on images, with the newest and most popular appearing first. 9GAG is based in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. 9GAG participated in the Y Combinator startup accelerator program in summer 2012[7]. In July 2012, it announced raising $2.8 million dollars in seed funding, and a mobile app for Apple iOS.

Redditor Details 9Gag’s Theft Process

One of the biggest on-going arguments on the Internet revolves around “share” sites such as Reddit, Funny Junk, and 9GAG. They make their money by users uploading funny stuff found on the Internet… regardless of copyright and often without credit to the original, depending on the situation. Occasionally one of these sites gets into it with a content creator, with predictably hilarious results. 9GAG is one of the more popular. It’s raised $2.8 million in funding, has an iPhone app on the way and — according to a Redditor’s carefully researched and backed up post — is built almost entirely on raiding sites like Reddit and Quickmeme, and then faking the post data to make it look like a 9GAG original instead of something they copied. This isn’t just sour grapes, either. The aforementioned post in the 4Chan subreddit is actually a fairly damning work that reverse engineers the entire process. The key aspect of the report, written by 9F**_EXPERT, is that 9GAG is essentially a plagiarism machine run by actual human. The basic process is this: Find a funny image on Reddit, carefully crop out any watermarks, and post it to 9GAG with a fake time. The really sad part is that this is some poor bastard’s job; the report demonstrates repeatedly that none of this stuff can be done by robots

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Chatwing Announces “At 9GAG, we want to make it as easy as pos- the Widespread 9gag sible for people to have fun by sharing the Meme Trend in Its things that make them laugh for the universal Recently-Launched enjoyment of anyone on the web.....” Global Chat Box Web surfers of today will often stumble upon funny images and captions that depict normal events in life, or cer I’ve been around the Internet of anyone on the web. With this fund- tain references in films, games, for a while. I find that ing, we will continue our and cartoons. These images are there are certain Web journey, making it effortcalled memes and they are now sites that you don’t less to spread laughter providing tons of entertainmention in polite throughout the world and company less you be enabling our entertain- ment to different people everylaughed out of the ing visual content to be day. Seeing the importance of memes, the Chatwing Developroom. One of those immediately accessed Web sites is 9GAG. through innovative mo- ment Team has launched a chat widget that can help people Despite being hugely bile apps.” popular, the guys on discuss and share their favorite Reddit, 4Chan and other purveyors of As a result of their new funding, memes. The Chatwing app can Internet culture only see them as a petty 9GAG will be expanding more aggres- be used extensively as a visibility thief riding on the content they create. sively into the mobile market. They’re booster or interaction provider starting out by releasing an iOS app, but in most cases. Well, those Internet hipsters will expand to Android later this year. Chatwing’s free chat box are in for a shock today as 9GAG anThe mobile app has all the features that is has been introduced in many nounced that they have raised $2.8 9GAG fans have come to expect from blogging sites, and it is generatmillion in venture capital funding. The the browser experience. ing thousands of signups everymoney will be used to “increase staffing, expand internationally and deliver Despite how Redditors may feel day. This is based on the careful observation of the Chatwing continued platform enhancements about this, it’s good news for 9GAG. to meet exploding user engagement.” The site itself is run by some fine folks dev team. The chat app is also What kind of user engagement? 9GAG and hopefully the can start creating known for its versatility and says they get 70 million unique visitors more original content with increased easy installation process; the a month and more than a billion page funding. The main complaint from installation process can be sumviews a month. long-time Internet hipsters is that marized in three key steps. First 9GAG posts old content that’s stois the blog domain registration. “Humor is one of life’s greatest pleaslen from sites like Reddit, but it’s the The user just needs to input his ures,” said Ray Chan, co-founder of individual users posting to 9GAG who blog’s domain name and email. 9GAG. “At 9GAG, we want to make it are at fault. With an increased focus on as easy as possible for people to have quality content, maybe even Redditors Second is the widget setup or customization phase. Here, fun by sharing the things that make will come to accept 9GAG in time. the user can select from three them laugh for the universal enjoyment shout box forms: actual chatbox, pop-up window, or the newest Richard Dawkins noted the three conditions that must exist for evolution direct link URL. After completing everything, the user can now to occur: retrieve his HTML code and variation, or the introduction of new change to existing elements; embed it to his blog or website. heredity or replication, or the capacity to create copies of elements; 9gag meme bloggers differential “fitness”, or the opportunity for one element to be more or less suited to the environment than another. can also use the free shout box Dawkins emphasizes that the process of evolution naturally occurs when- to find new friends and other ever these conditions co-exist, and that evolution does not apply only to organic ‘9gaggers.’ Empowering this noelements such as genes. He regards memes as also having the properties necessary tion is Chatwing’s social media for evolution, and thus sees meme evolution as not simply analogous to genetic integration; with this, users evolution, but as a real phenomenon subject to the laws of natural selection. can now log in with their so Dawkins noted that as various ideas pass from one generation to the next, cial networking accounts, such they may either enhance or detract from the survival of the people who obtain those ideas, or influence the survival of the ideas themselves. For example, a cer- as Facebook and Twitter. Ustain culture may develop unique designs and methods of tool-making that give it ers who log in with their social a competitive advantage over another culture. Each tool-design thus acts some- media accounts can have their what similarly to a biological gene in that some populations have it and others do profile accounts viewed. Othnot, and the meme’s function directly affects the presence of the design in future ers can also send them invitagenerations. In keeping with the thesis that in evolution one can regard organisms tions. To satisfy lots of users, the simply as suitable “hosts” for reproducing genes, Dawkins argues that one can Chatwing team believes in being view people as “hosts” for replicating memes. Consequently, a successful meme dynamic strategy planning.

Humor Site 9GAG Raises $2.8 Million In Funding

The Condition

may or may not need to provide any benefit to its host

IRVINE, Calif., Sept. 5, 2012 -- IRVINE, Calif., Sept. 5, 2012 /PRNewswire/ -- In the months following Kelley Blue Book’s national launch of the all-new KBB.com Classifieds experience, car dealers are praising the increased auto sales, leads and customer traffic resulting from the new product

seen about a 10 percent increase in the amount of leads that we’re getting off of KBB.com, and at the end of this month, I’ll sell at least five of the KBB.com Classifieds that we’ve had out there,” said Rusty Hutson of Lowe Toyota. KBB.com’s redesigned Classifieds section makes it easy for a large audience of in-market

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shoppers to move from researching directly into shopping for the right vehicle. Each month, car shoppers perform millions of searches in the new Classifieds section of KBB.com for new and used cars for sale. “Last month we had more than 100,000 impressions across all product lines,” said Dusty Hayes of Hayes Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, Ram. “That’s a huge amount of people that we’re touching that we’ve never touched before.” The innovative design of the KBB.com Clas-

sifieds experience creates new ways for millions of in-market car shoppers to connect with dealers, allowing consumers to control the shopping process and engage with dealers in the way they feel most comfortable. Shoppers can easily email, call, chat, link directly to the car dealership website, or simply get directions and drive right to the store. Providing consumers with multiple channels to reach auto dealers in the manner they prefer increases engagement significantly over the traditional lead

form. “With KBB.com Classifieds, we are able to reach a different customer at a different point in the sales process,” said Jay Barksdale of Courtesy Ford. “It helps us get that customer at step one. And when we’re able to engage that customer, we’re able to build value for that customer right away and we get a higher quality lead. We’ve gotten a lot more buyers out of Kelley Blue Book.” Kelley Blue Book has experienced extremely positive market reception to the new KBB.com

Classifieds experience, doubling the number of participating car dealers in the short time since the product’s national launch in June 2012. More dealers are opting to ‘Turn on the Power of Blue’ every day. “Dealers recognize that when they utilize the powerful tool that is KBB.com Classifieds, they are gaining greater exposure to a highly engaged, unique audience of in-market car buyers, and ultimately they are selling more cars,” said Jared Rowe, president of Kelley Blue Book. “We


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THE BURPINGHAM NEWS | THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 2013

Not a compulsory capability

Cloud-based software testing good but unnecessary Cloud-based testing of software applications brings cost benefits but this alone does not make it a top priority for most companies as they still have to contend with issues such as data security and interoperability of cloud systems. Chandranshu Singh, senior analyst of IT solutions at Ovum, said the volume of software testing companies have to conduct has gone up tremendously in today’s business climate which increasing relies on software to provide a competitive edge. So the most obvious advantage of cloudbased testing tools is that these bring cost effectiveness as there is better utilization of existing infrastructure, he noted. Other benefits would include time savings in the setting up and tearing down of physical test laboratories, thanks to the preconfigured

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environment templates and instantaneous resource provisioning which allows IT staff to scale their tests on demand, Singh added.

Performance testing is particularly well-suited for the cloud, as load simulation can be done easily in the cloud, he pointed out. Jeff Findlay, solution architect for Asia-Pacific and Japan at Micro Focus, added organizations also get the assurance that a huge volume of traffic will not dent the performance of a software. This would have led to much user frustration in the real world, he noted. Agreeing with Singh, Findlay said cloud-based testing also eliminates the need to build and maintain required infrastructure for peak load simulations, making it far more convenient and cost-effective.

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Compelling as cloud-based software testing tools can be, these are not an enterprise necessity right now, both observers stated. Singh said most inefficiencies that plague software testing teams can be handled by first finding the proper balance between automated and manual testing. So rather than basing the decision on how to conduct the test, the better question would be “under what circumstances would cloudbased testing benefit my development effort?” The Ovum analyst said another issue is the low level of interoperability between different clouds. He urged organizations to take that into consideration when selecting vendors, to ensure that migration to a different cloud platform for testing will not be a major problem should the need arise. Furthermore, not every public-facing application is a viable candidate for cloud-based testing, Findlay stated. For example, certain apps may have industry-mandated security constraints, so the software and data’s test conditions require a more tightly-controlled environment than online, he explained. Data security and integrity in the cloud remain contentious issues to date. While vendors are making strides to address this, it is essential for organizations to keep control of their data and administer the structure of that data in accordance with their quality processes, the Micro Focus executive said.

Mobile apps key niche

Mobile developers and companies building their own mobile apps should utilize the benefits of cloudbased testing though, Singh said, adding it “makes a lot of sense” for such software. This is because when it comes to testing mobile apps, the device and platform are key considerations but the fragmented market of mobile device operating systems makes it difficult for companies to test their apps for all platforms and devices, he explained. Thus, engaging a software testing provider that offers access to the different platforms on a subscription basis saves times and costs, making it a “no-brainer”, he noted. That said, Findlay called on companies to be aware of the environments their mobile apps are being tested on, which could impact the accuracy of

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test results. Many mobile testing-asa-service providers utilize rooted or jailbroken devices as test platforms. Apart from security issues, these test environments do not reflect the “real world” and could skew results, he cautioned.

Jamie Yap Journalist

Professional biography

Jamie Yap covers the compelling and sometimes convoluted crosssection of IT and homo sapiens, which really refers to technology careers, startups, Internet, social media, mobile tech, and privacy stickles. She has interviewed suitwearing C-level executives from major corporations as well as jeans-wearing entrepreneurs of startups. Prior to tech reporting, she spent three years after graduating from university as a print and online writer chronicling the feats and foibles of another species known as celebrities in TV, movies and music lands. Jamie is also an inner fangirl of sci-fi, comics, Comic-Con and special featurettes on DVDs.

Networking more important than winning in startup contests

The potential networking and publicity spinoffs from joining startup competitions are more important than the prize funding, as they go a longer way in helping the business.

No Twitter ban in India despite previous warning

The Indian government has decided not to ban the use of Twitter in certain states, an action that was first prompted after content published on the microblogging site triggered the recent exodus of people from northeastern regions. Citing unnamed sources, the Press Trust of India (PTI) reported Sunday the country’s department of electronics and IT (DEIT) had identified Twitter as one of the main triggers of the exodus last month. During that time, allegedly doctored content inciting Muslim retaliation went viral online, and resulted in a frenzied exodus of people from the northeastern regions who fled their homes.

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6 THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 2013

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THE BURPINGHAM NEWS | THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 2013

Jane and I got tickled during our wedding 56 years ago when the candles started dropping their tallow in big noisy clunks on the plastic under the candelabra. Weddings are serious, but can be funny, too. The first two weddings I ever conducted were in the Presbyterian church in our hometown, a couple of years before Jane and I married. (I was and still am a Baptist.) In one of those weddings, my buddy from high school days had just put the ring on the bride’s finger. Then she started to put the ring on his finger, only to discover that he still had his high school class ring on. All of us in the wedding party, including the preacher, laughed while he struggled to get it off. I was one of the groomsmen in my college roommate’s wedding. He was the son of the former pastor of our home church in Elizabethtown, Ky., so several of us went to Lynchburg, Va., for the wedding. When it came time for the groom to answer, “I do” to one of the most important questions he would ever have to answer, he was momentarily distracted. Then his Dad nodded at him and he responded vigorously, “Oh, yes, sir, yes, sir, I do!” We pretty well managed to stifle our giggles. In Georgetown, Ky., where I

served as pastor for 14 years, I was performing the wedding of a fine young couple in our beautifully decorated sanctuary. This was my first experience with candles that did not drip tallow on the floor. Everything worked great until time to light the unity candle. That candle simply would not light, so I replaced it with an already lighted candle, but couldn’t get it securely lodged in the candelabra. So while I was giving the final blessing to the couple, it shot up into the air like a missile. In the video that was made of the ceremony, you see the candle lift off but it never comes back down in view of the camera. Needless to say, that

First Job

“A young family moved into a house, video was seen over and over again next to a vacant lot.

by many friends and family members. I performed a quiet but lovely wedding of dear friends here in Hattiesburg. When the ceremony was completed, I waited for the groom to kiss the bride. When he didn’t do that immediately, I meant to say, “You may now kiss the bride.” But what I said was, “I want to kiss the bride!” And I did. Then he said, “I do, too!” And he did!

Dick Allison is a retired pastor and a hospital staff chaplain. He can be reached at jallison@cgate.net.

One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough,” more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot.” They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.” “Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, and will you be working on the house again this week, too?” The little girl replied, “I will, if those as*!#!es at Home Depot ever deliver the fu*#’ng sheet rock...”

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The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever! Let’s face it – we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments. Just be thankful that none of them were as humiliating (and hilarious!) as these: “A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!” “A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking

at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away.” “A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE.” That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word ‘Tampax’ for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

Catch that rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

“Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”≠

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, “Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?” She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments.” The cunning guy now yells loudly, “What do you mean by $500?”

Money

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife.” So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said “Wait just a minute!” She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in the casket.” “Yes,” the wife said, “I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.” “You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?” “I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.”

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A Funny Story

Funny things happen at weddings

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My parents were really funny people, and they introduced us to “SNL” and stuff like “Monty Python” when we were really young. My brother and ...


8 THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 2013

TODAY IN LUCK

THE BURPINGHAM NEWS | THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 2013

OPINION How the Rest of the Nation Perceives Your Favorite NFL Team’s Fans Arizona Cardinals: Forgotten desert people who paid attention to football briefly during that one magical 9-7 season with Kurt Warner. Atlanta Falcons: Apathetic non-fans who are merely willing to quietly watch any football-like substance the day after Georgia plays. Baltimore Ravens: Football ignoramuses who blame every loss on the refs, see no irony in whining about having their team stolen only to then steal another team, and idolize a guy who covered up a double murder.

Chicago Bears: Exactly like everyone on the Da Bears sketch, but dumber and fatter.

favorite team is probably that one time when they weren’t robbed by a Bengals player at gunpoint.

Cincinnati Bengals: Horribly dressed people whose fondest memory of their

Cleveland Browns: It’s too depressing to even think what these people are like.

Unlikely Band of Misfits Create Youth Baseball Team

Our home team, the Opossums, on the other hand is made up of: Larry, the gangly bespectabled nerdling, Archie, the fat one; Sarah, the girl, Tommy, the wheelchair bound, Jake, the jokester, Sam, the bully with a heart of gold and there’s some others too. These unlikely comrades, over an indeterminate amount of time that was filled with trials and triumphs, learned to set aside their differences and overcome all odds. Or at least the odds that said they would overcome the odds and win. Some may chalk up the Opossums monumental loss to the fact that none of the members had any formal training, or even a basic knowledge of the conventions of baseball. Others point the finger at the coach, an incompetent alcoholic with a bitter distaste for children. Still others lay blame on the fact that the other team was really really good. The game, which can more accurately be described as a beating, lasted only

“As soon as it was over, my phone was just lighting up with texts”

“It’s been a crazy week,” said a tired but giddy Kathy Gatton Eshelman, owner of Patriotic Jewelry.com. It all happened when Fox News Channel’s Chris Wallace was presenting a report during the convention about one of the event’s themes — “We built this.” A cameraman at the cable network strayed from Wallace and focused instead on Eshelman, who was wearing a cowboy hat festooned with badges

one hour and five minutes. Fifty nine minutes of which was spent in a steady rain. One glimmer of hope appeared near the bottom of the seventh inning when Jake hit a ball deep into left field and began to run like a man possessed by drunk Irish demons. He made it round first, then second, then third, and five feet from home plate he slipped in the mud, landing face down and remaining there until he was tagged out by the opposing team.

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Lucky shot on TV was a gem for business

A moment on camera at the Republican National Convention has turned into “a small-business owner’s dream” for a Columbus woman.

Carolina Panthers: No perception because no one has ever met a Carolina Panthers fan.

Baton Rouge, LA – The sun is shining on the baseball diamond at Shaker’s Field this morning where a group of school children found themselves miserably defeated yesterday. The rag tag assortment of kids, through teamwork and love, overcame all odds and learned the true meaning of friendship. Except they lost. Brutally. 23 to 0. They didn’t stand a chance. The other team, the Rockets, was a well-oiled machine, the players appearing to be cookie cutter versions of one super-player: strong and mean, the tallest kid in the sixth grade. Except their were eleven of them!

THURSDAY, AUGUST 2, 2013

tferan@dispatch.com

Buffalo Bills: Depressed Eskimos.

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from her business. She was laughing and holding a small board that read, “PatrioticJewelry.com. I built this! Mr. Pres!” “It was so funny,” she said. “As soon as it was over, my phone was just lighting up with texts. Friends from California, from Texas, from Ohio. It was awesome.” Soon it wasn’t just texts from friends that lit up her phone. Eshelman’s website sends her an email every time an order is placed, and she began getting messages that a sale had been made. First it was one a minute, then two, then three, “then it was so fast I couldn’t keep track.” The footage from Eshelman’s moment

The Dispatch E-Edition The E-Edition includes all of the news, comics, classifieds and advertisements of the newspaper. And it’s available to subscribers before 6 a.m. every day. in the Tampa, Fla., convention sun is now on Facebook and YouTube, further extending her company’s fame. None of it would have happened had Eshelman stuck with her original plan and stayed home. Always active in politics, she had attended the 2008 convention and sold jewelry there at a vendor area. But when she learned that there wouldn’t be a similar area at this year’s convention, she decided not to go.

A last-minute offer from a friend with an extra hotel room changed her mind. Another friend offered her a free pass into the convention — but the seat was directly behind the press area, “and you can’t see the speakers from there. So I was sitting by myself, I couldn’t see anyone, I was exhaust-

Lucky to be alive – Sunderland boy starts school after battling for survival

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see. Aaron Walton faced a fight for life when he was born four years ago, but now the happy youngster is enjoying his first

days at school. The tot had pulmonary hypertension and a collapsed lung when he was born in 2008 and doctors were un-

sure whether the little fighter would make it. His mum Jean Reay said it was a nightmare for the family. The 31-year-old, from Grangetown, said: “I had a normal pregnancy and a planned C-Section, but when he was five hours old, I noticed his breathing was funny.” Aaron spent three days at the neo-natal unit, at Sunderland Royal, before being transferred to the Freeman Hospital, in Newcastle. Jean, who is also mum to 10-year-old Callum and eight-year-old Mathew, said: “We would ask the doctors if he was going to make it and they said they didn’t know. He was a very poorly boy.” Aaron was treated with a chest drain and narrowly avoided having to undergo extracorporeal membrane

oxygenation treatment. But after two weeks on a ventilator, he was finally given the all-clear, to the relief of Jean and Aaron’s dad, Rob. Jean said: “We took him home shortly after that and he has been fine ever since. “The only sign that there was anything ever wrong with him is a tiny scar on his chest. Now, four years later, Aaron is a happy, healthy boy, who is enjoying his first days at Grangetown Primary School. Jean said: “He is very out-going and friendly. He loves to chat and he loves animals. “He is a kind-hearted little boy.”


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Central player enjoys Injured Tulane player still stable after jokes, academics

surgery

It’s still too early to know the long-term effects of the Tulane safety’s spinal injury, the school’s athletic director said Monday. Devon Walker was in stable condition Monday, recovering in an intensive-care unit after Sunday’s three-hour surgery to stabilize his spine at St. Francis Hospital in south Tulsa. He was injured in a head-to-head collision with a teammate during Saturday’s game at Tulsa. “It is too early in Devon’s recovery process to draw any conclusions about his progress,” said Tulane Athletic Director Rick Dickson. “When the neurosurgeons here at Saint Francis have more definitive information, they will co-consult” with the team’s doctor. Until then, Dickson said, there will be “constant monitoring, care and attention” for Walker.

Central football player Nicalus Rhone is known for being funny and smart. He helps his teammates with homework, and he is No. 2 student in the senior class at Central Medical Magnet High School. Dave Ryan/The Enterprise / BE Nicalus Rhone enjoys making jokes and helping his Central football teammates with school work. The senior wide receiver recently talked about those two things - and football. Q: People say you’re a funny guy. Do you have a joke you can say right now? A: Not really. It just comes off the top of my head. I usually joke around with the team. It’s random things like everything is quiet and dead and you just say, “Turn up.” Everybody says, “Oh, turn up.” It’s just a funny thing we do. It’s an insider thing. Q: So you can’t really explain what it means?

Dickson, speaking at a Monday news conference at the hospital, described Walker as “alert and responsive” following his surgery, but said he did not know when Walker could be released. Dickson also read a message from Walker’s parents, Inez and Booker Walker, who have requested privacy while their son is treated. “We have been overwhelmed by the amount of concerned well wishes we have received from all over the world,” the statement read. “Although we cannot respond individually to all, we thank everyone for the love and support shown to Devon and our family.”

“Devon’s a very, very well-known, popular, wellrespected man on our campus,” he said. “He really represents the best of what we are. He’s a true Tulane student athlete.” Dr. Greg Stewart, Tulane’s director of sports medicine, said doctors don’t yet know what the longterm implications and outcomes are going to be for Walker. Stewart said he was with Walker on the field, in the ambulance and at the hospital Saturday. He said Walker was put into a cervical collar and couldn’t see much of what was happening, so Stewart explained what was going on. Walker was talking with doctors as he was being treated, Stewart said. Walker’s injury occurred on the final play of the first half Saturday during Tulane’s Conference USA opener. Tulsa was leading 35-3 and facing a fourth-and-2 with the ball at the 33-yard line when the Golden Hurricane called timeout. Tulane then called timeout. When play resumed, Tulsa quarterback Cody Green tossed a short pass to Willie Carter, who caught it at about the 28, and turned upfield. He was tackled around the 17-yard line, with defensive tackle Julius Warmsley and Walker sandwiching him and smashing their helmets together.

The University of Tulsa announced Monday that it had established a fund to benefit Walker’s family.

FOX Sports reported a hush went over the crowd at H.A. Chapman Stadium as Walker was attended to, and that several coaches were in tears as he was taken away in an ambulance. Spectators bowed their heads as someone on the field led the stadium in prayer.

Dickson described Walker, a senior majoring in cell and molecular biology, as a leader on and off the field.

Dr. Buddy Savoie said during a postgame news conference that Walker never completely lost consciousness and was breathing on his own.

A: Can’t really. Can’t really. Q: Are you a class clown in school, as well? A: Oh no. When we touch that building everything is serious. It’s class work. We’re studentathletes. Q: Academically, you’re No. 2 in the senior class at Central. What does it take to be one of the top students? A: It’s like a role-model thing. Guys look up to me. If they need help, I help them with their work and get them down to where they know it and it’s not just me helping them with the answers. Q: How often are you helping guys on the team with school work? A: Every day. Sometimes before practice, sometimes during the athletic period. It’s a good time.

In this photo provided by the University of Tulsa, Tulane’s Devon Walker, bottom right, and Julius Warmsley (92) tackle Tulsa’s Kenny Welcome, bottom left, during the first half of an NCAA college football game in Tulsa, Okla., Saturday, Sept. 8, 2012. On this play, Walker was seriously hurt. (AP Photo/University of Tulsa, John Lew)

Farewell 14th Paralympic Games LONDON: After 11 days of competition, the biggest sporting event for disabled athletes, the 14th Paralympic Games, dropped the curtain at the Olympic Stadium in the Olympic Park situated in East London.

Prevent Head Injury Depending on how literal you want to get and who you’re talking to, an NFL stadium can resemble a battlefield. The comparison between the gridiron and a war zone becomes even more similar now, as the NFL is looking into implementing the same helmet sensors the Army uses to gather data on head trauma after impact, according to the Stars and Stripes, an independent news source of the military. The sensors, manufactured by British-based security company BAE Systems, – more commonly referred to as HEADS.


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Dude Hella Kite Snowboards Into New Dimension

“The greatest days of his life” Posted by Eric Hearble in Science, Sports

Santiago, Chile – A throng of snowboarders train their polarized, orange goggles on the sky. A tiny figure slowly materializes out of the dark cloud bank, drifting underneath a giant kite. As he descends closer, his black and white pop-art snowsuit creating a hypnotic illusion, the snowboarders cheer and knock on each others’ helmets. Their prophet has returned from the other side. David “Fried Nuggets” Putnick, hero of snow-sports enthusiasts and adventurers the world over, left this dimension last week from the slopes of the Chilean ski resort Valle Nevado. Vowing to be gone no more than 8 days, Mr. Putnick has returned ahead of schedule after 6 of “the greatest days of [his] life”. “People have been looking for a way into other dimensions for centuries,” says Putnick, assuming a scholarly air. “The problem is that they’ve only ever done it from inside the domeage that alights their shoulders. Now don’t get me wrong, I give big ups to astral projection and drugs, but I wanted something more. I wanted to take my bones up there with me.” Putnick’s biography writes itself: Raised in a Colorado hippie commune, he grew up in an atmosphere in which mind expansion and interdimensional travel were a fundamental part of life. Putnick was praised as a child for having a special aptitude for accessing the astral plane, purported to be the first dimension removed from ours. Putnick would often thrill members of his community with tales from his travels there, such as the time he played Wii tennis (a technology not then invented) with Joan of Arc. “He used to hide in the

After spending a rare few months of summer in Brazil learning to surf. hybrid squashberry barrels at the organic coop,” says Lyzra Walbaum, a former commune resident. “He would always tell the most interesting stories. Mice who wear underwear on their heads and grow leftist political cartoons from their ears, old sailors teaching him the most effective knots for hog-tying an eight-limbed creature, a young Elvis giving a blow job to a raccoon…Most people would just write them off as the sweet nap-time dreams of a child, but we all knew he was really going somewhere while he was under those genetically altered squash.” As a young man, Putnick devoted himself to snowboarding and began traveling the world in search of an “endless winter.” Working at ski resorts and spending as much of his free time as possible out on the slopes, he quickly became a respected figure in the ski bum

What exactly Putnick pulled off is unclear world, renowned for his board skills, his other-worldly quality and his fantastic drug connections. After spending a rare few months of summer in Brazil learning to surf, Putnick became enamored with the burgeoning sport of kite-surfing, in which the rider is harnessed to a large, often inflatable kite. He was among the first people to adapt the use of these inflatable kite-

surfing kites to snowboarding. “When [Putnick] came back from Brazil, he was on a newer level,” says Jose Mendes, a comarade of Putnick’s who learned English primarily through the slang-laden international crowd that staffs ski resorts. “Hardly anyone was snowkiting at this time. At first, he sometimes was in a kitemare and the kite would Hinderburg

into things or peoples, but it didn’t take him long to get shit hot. Dangerous weather was no problem for him and he would go out even when it was nuking. That’s how he got such big air.” “Big air,” the term used to describe the fantastic jumps one can achieve while snowkiting, is a prized aspect of the sport. Some jumpers have managed to remain airborne for up to 20 seconds at a time. Taking an inside joke that a snowkiter with that much hangtime would be able to “glide straight to heaven” more seriously than it had been intended, Putnick launched himself on a quest to snowkite into a different dimension. “I was out there every day, boosting off everything I could, trying to send it through the power zone 100 % of the time. On the big jumps I started to feel something opening up. Then I glimpsed it – like a golden hole in the middle of sky. I knew I could make it after that point so I called a Babe Ruth for Monday and said I’d be coming back in a week. There was nutty people gathered there, but I pulled it off.” What exactly Putnick pulled off is unclear because, while it has been confirmed that he disappeared into the sky and did not return until six days later, he will not talk about what he saw there, or what level dimension he may have attained. Since the affable Putnick is usually happy to talk about his adventures, there has been rampant speculation as to what is currently holding his tongue. Some people believe that the experience has humbled him so much that he doesn’t want to brag, or perhaps that what happened up there was extremely personal. Other more cynical observers have mentioned that Putnick is currently in negotiations for a book with Random House and has been sworn to secrecy prior to a marketing campaign. Either way, this dimension continues to wait for its far-out ambassador to let us know what it was like up there.


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