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!UGUST  .EWSLETTER

0EACE AND 3AFETY IN THE #HRISTIAN (OME

+<FDIB±1@IN@±-PO±JA±<±2@MMD=G@±2M<Q@NOT HEY ARE THERE AROUND THE EDGES

OFTEN INVISIBLE n THE VICTIMS OF ABUSE WHO ARE DISILLUSIONED

EMBITTERED AND BEWILDERED )F THEY DARE NOT SPEAK OUT THEY ALSO WILL NOT ENDORSE A FAITH THAT HAS LED TO SO MUCH PERSONAL SUFFERING (OW CAN WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THEIR LIVES BE RECONCILED WITH WHAT THEY HEAR PROCLAIMED FROM THE PULPIT n THE LOVELY #HRISTIAN FAM ILY THE GODLY CONDUCT THE RELIABILITY OF 'ODS 7ORD (OW COULD A #HRISTIAN SPOUSE ABUSE THEM SO HOW COULD THE CHURCH BE SO CALLOUS IN ITS ATTITUDE 4HE TRAVESTY PLANTS BITTERNESS DEEP WITHIN THEIR SOULS 7HAT OF THE CHILDREN WHO SEE THEIR PARENTS TRAPPED YEAR AFTER YEAR IN SITUATIONS OF TERROR DEGRADATION AND DEHUMANIZATION (OW CAN THE AM BULANCE DRIVER OR THE SHELTER WORKER OR THE COUNSELOR RECONCILE THE GRIM REALITY WITH THE PIOUS PROFESSIONS (OW CAN WE EXPLAIN THE MURDER RAPE

ASSAULT BATTERY AND OTHER FORMS OF VERBAL SEXUAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE THAT GO ON IN #HRISTIAN HOMES 4HE TRUTH IS THAT WE HAVE NOT BEEN HONEST WITH OURSELVES OR WITH THOSE TO WHOM WE SEEK TO SHARE THE GRACE OF #HRIST 7E HAVE FAILED TO ACKNOWL EDGE SOME OF THE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS OR TO ADDRESS THEM 4HE 2EALITY OF (UMAN 3IN 7E MUST BEGIN AT THE VERY SAME POINT THAT IS A CORNERSTONE OF #HRIS TIAN DOCTRINE n THAT OF HUMAN SIN )T WAS OUR SIN AND ALIENATION FROM 'OD THAT CAUSED THE &ATHER TO SEND

4HE SCRIPTURES SPEAK OF THE RESTRAIN ING POWER OF THE (OLY 3PIRIT AND OF HOW THE 3PIRIT APPLIES TO 7ORD TO OUR HEARTS 4HAT 7ORD IS BOTH INSPIRED BY THE 3PIRIT IN ITS COMPOSITION AND IS INTERPRETED TO US BY THAT SAME 3PIRIT IN ITS APPLICATION "OTH 3PIRIT AND SCRIPTURE TEACH THAT ABUSE IS WRONG

BUT WHO WILL TEACH THIS TO THE PEOPLE OF 'OD !N INTERNATIONAL STUDENT COM PLAINED h.OBODY EVER TOLD ME BEFORE THAT IT WAS WRONG TO BEAT MY WIFEv US A REDEEMER WHO GAVE HIS OWN LIFE IN ATONEMENT FOR US 4HOSE WHO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR SINFULNESS AND SEEK FORGIVENESS THROUGH #HRIST ARE BROUGHT INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH 'OD THAT GIVES TRANSFORMING GRACE "UT THOSE MADE NEW IN #HRIST STILL CONTINUE TO FAIL IN THEIR EFFORTS TO LIVE A PERFECT LIFE 3T *OHN MAINTAINED THAT hIF WE SAY THAT WE HAVE NOT SINNED WE MAKE 'OD A LIAR AND (IS 7ORD IS NOT IN US v *OHN  )T IS ALL TOO EVIDENT THAT MANY #HRISTIANS ARE GUILTY OF SERIOUSLY SINFUL CONDUCT WITHIN THEIR OWN FAMILIES 4HE ,ACK OF 0ROPHETIC 0ROCLAMATION !LMOST NEVER IS DOMESTIC ABUSE ADDRESSED FROM THE PULPIT 4HE TASK OF A PROPHET IS TO IDENTIFY EVIL TO DENOUNCE IT AND TO BRING THE 7ORD OF 'OD TO BEAR UPON IT 4HE SCRIP TURES ARE lLLED WITH CONDEMNATIONS OF VIOLENCE INTIMIDATION VERBAL AND SEXUAL ABUSE AND EMOTIONAL CRUELTY 6ERY FEW BELIEVERS ARE AWARE OF BIBLI CAL TEACHING ON THESE SUBJECTS

,ACK OF #LERGY 4RAINING /NLY EIGHT PERCENT OF CLERGY REPORT THAT THEY FEEL ADEQUATELY TRAINED IN THE AREA OF DOMESTIC ABUSE %ZEKIEL RE BUKED PASTORS WHO ALLOWED THE STRON GER SHEEP TO BUTT AND SHOULDER THE WEAKER ONES TO MUDDY THEIR WATER AND TO TAKE UNFAIR ADVANTAGE    !S IN SO MANY OTHER PASSAGES IN THE "IBLE 'OD EXPRESSES HIS CONCERN FOR THE OPPRESSED AND CALLS FOR THE RIGHTEOUS TO AID IN THEIR DELIVERANCE h"UT HOW SHALL THEY HEAR WITHOUT A PREACHERv2OMANS  )NAPPROPRIATE $EMANDS FOR &ORGIVENESS &REQUENTLY THE CHURCH DEMANDS THAT THE VICTIM FORGIVE THE PERPETRATOR BEFORE IT IS ADVISABLE OR APPROPRIATE 3UCH A STEP MAY SIMPLY ENABLE THE ABUSE TO CONTINUE 4HE "IBLE CALLS FOR FORGIVENESS ONLY AFTER THERE HAS BEEN ALTERED CONDUCT ON THE PART OF THE OFFENDER 4HE lRST STEP IS FOR THE PERPETRATOR TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE

CONTINUED


+<FDIB±1@IN@±-PO±JA±<±2@MMD=G@±2M<Q@NOT±CONTINUED 7ARPING OF 3CRIPTURE -ISAPPLICATION OF SCRIPTURE HAS PLUNGED MANY A FAMILY INTO MIS ERY $ISTORTIONS OF THE CONCEPTS OF SUBMISSION AND HEADSHIP HAVE OFTEN BEEN CITED BY OFFENDERS AS JUSTIlCA TION FOR THEIR CONDUCT )LL CONSIDERED EXPLANATIONS BY #HRISTIAN LEADERS HAVE SOMETIMES LENT THEMSELVES TO PERPETU ATING THE PROBLEM *ESUS SPECIlCALLY DEPLORES THE EXER CISE OF POWER AND CONTROL BY ONE INDI VIDUAL OVER ANOTHER -ATTHEW   -ARK   ,UKE    4HE !POSTLE 0AUL DOES INDEED DECLARE THE HUSBAND TO BE HEAD OF THE WIFE

BUT HE TWICE DElNES THE FUNCTION OF HEAD TO BODY AS BEING THAT OF EM POWERMENT SUPPLY AND PROMOTION OF GROWTH %PHESIANS   #OLOSSIANS   4HE 'REEK TERM OFTEN TRANS LATED hSUBMITv IS A DIFFERENT ONE FROM THAT RENDERED AS hOBEYv 4HE BIBLICAL CONCEPT OF SUBMISSION CARRIES WITH IT ASPECTS OF LOYALTY ACCOUNTABILITY ALLI ANCE AND MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP )DEALIZATION OF THE &AMILY $ESPITE THE "IBLES DESCRIPTION OF SOME PERFECTLY AWFUL FAMILIES THERE IS AN IDEALIZATION OF THE FAMILY THAT LEADS PEOPLE TO BELIEVE THAT 'ODS BLESSING IS ONLY AVAILABLE WHEN A MAR RIED COUPLE IS LIVING TOGETHER 9ET IT IS CLEAR THE *ESUS FOLLOWERS HAD LEFT THEIR HOMES TO FOLLOW HIM AND THAT THERE WAS A PLACE FOR THIS IN 'ODS PLAN 4HERE IS SOMETIMES AN INSISTENCE THAT DIVORCE IS NEVER AN OPTION AL THOUGH 'OD DECLARES THREE TIMES THAT (E HAS DIVORCED )SRAEL )SAIAH  *EREMIAH   (OSEA   "OTH /LD AND .EW 4ESTAMENT CONTAIN PROVISION FOR DIVORCE IN CASES THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT ! MISUNDERSTANDING AT THIS POINT CAUSES MANY CONGREGATIONS TO FORCE COUPLES BACK INTO A LIVING SITUATION BEFORE IT IS ADVISABLE 'OD DOES INDEED HATE DIVORCE AS DO MANY PEOPLE BUT THERE 

ARE OTHER THINGS THAT 'OD HATES AS WELL h4HERE ARE SIX THINGS THAT THE ,ORD HATES SEVEN THAT ARE AN ABOMI NATION TO HIM (AUGHTY EYES A LYING TONGUE AND HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD A HEART THAT DEVISES WICKED PLANS FEET THAT HURRY TO RUN TO EVIL A LYING WITNESS WHO TESTIlES FALSELY AND ONE WHO SOWS DISCORD IN A FAMILYv 0ROVERBS   $ENIAL OF THE PROBLEMS EXISTENCE )F THERE IS NO PROBLEM THERE IS NO NEED TO ADDRESS IT -ANY VICTIMS CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY BEING ABUSED NOR CAN THE CHURCH BELIEVE THAT THERE IS FAMILY ABUSE AMONG ITS MEMBERS $ESPITE RESEARCH SHOWING THAT THE RATE IS THE SAME AS IN CONTEM PORARY SOCIETY WE ALL LIKE TO THINK THAT OUR PARTICULAR CHURCH IS TOO SPIRITUAL FOR SUCH AN EVIL TO BE FOUND WITHIN ITS RANKS 3OME EARNEST #HRISTIANS EVEN GO SO FAR AS TO DENY THE VALIDITY OF THE STATISTICS COMING FROM POLICE STATIONS

SHELTERS HOSPITALS AND MORGUES /FTEN IT IS EASIER TO LEND CREDENCE TO THE ABUSER RATHER THAN THE VICTIM EVEN IF THERE IS SUBSTANTIATING EVIDENCE 7HEN A VICTIM COMES TO A REALIZA TION OF THE NATURE OF HER EXPERIENCE

HER DISCLOSURE MAY WELL DRAW REBUKE AND REPUDIATION INSTEAD OF SUPPORT 4HE CHURCH THAT MIGHT BE EXPECTED TO HELP MAY INSTEAD REFUSE ANY KIND OF INVOLVEMENT 2EJECTION OF 6ICTIMS 4HOSE WHO REACH OUT FOR HELP ARE OFTEN DENIED SUPPORT 3OME WOMEN ARE THREATENED WITH EXCOMMUNICATION IF THEY DO NOT IMMEDIATELY RETURN TO THEIR HUSBANDS -ANY WOULD RATHER CONTINUE IN DESPERATE SITUATIONS AT HOME RATHER THAN TO BE CONDEMNED OR SHUNNED BY THEIR FAITH COMMUNITY -ANY FAITH COMMUNITIES ARE TRAPPED INTO A CALLOUS REJECTION WHEN THE SCRIP TURES CALL UPON US TO DELIVER THE OP PRESSED FROM THE HAND OF THE VIOLENT

-OVING TO ,IFT THE 3IEGE "UT WHAT CAN BE DONE TO BREAK THIS CYCLE 0ERHAPS A BIBLICAL STORY CAN INFORM US /NCE THERE A NICE LITTLE CITY THAT LIVED VERY PEACEABLY AND TRIED TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY HAD NEED 4HEY WERE HOSPITABLE AND RECEIVED PEOPLE GRACIOUSLY 4HEY WOULD SIT DOWN WITH PEOPLE WHO CAME TO THEM IN TROUBLE AND LISTEN TO THEM AND TRY TO BE HELP FUL 4HEY LOVED THE LAW OF 'OD AND SOUGHT TO APPLY IT TO THEIR LIVES 4HEIR LAND WAS RULED BY +ING $AVID WHOM THE "IBLE DECLARES TO HAVE BEEN A MAN AFTER 'ODS OWN HEART !ND SO THEY LIVED IN PEACE AND SE RENITY UNTIL ONE DAY TOTALLY UNEXPECT EDLY THEIR LITTLE TOWN WAS SURROUNDED BY +ING $AVIDS ARMY .OW THIS WAS NO COURTESY VISIT 4HE SOLDIERS WERE IN BATTLE ARRAY OUTlTTED WITH SOME VERY UGLY LOOKING HARDWARE UNDER THE COMMAND OF $AVIDS GENERAL *OAB 4HIS LITTLE TOWN WAS SKILLED IN THE WAYS OF PEACE RATHER THAN WAR AND ITS CITIZENS WERE VERY ILL EQUIPPED TO DEFEND THEMSELVES #AUGHT TOTALLY OFF GUARD THEY CAME TO THE UNHAPPY REALIZATION THAT THEY WERE A CITY UNDER SIEGE A PREDICAMENT IN WHICH THE FOLK OF THIS LAW ABIDING COMMUNITY HAD NEVER IN THE WORLD EXPECTED TO lND THEMSELVES "UT IT HAD HAPPENED AND WHAT WERE THEY TO DO NOW 4HERE ARE PARALLELS OF COURSE n BETWEEN EARNEST GODLY FOLK WHO UNEXPECTEDLY lND THEMSELVES EM BROILED IN THE HORRORS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE /F COURSE IT COULDNT HAPPEN TO THEM n THEY WERE SUCH NICE PEOPLE

SUCH NICE CHURCH MEMBERS SUCH NICE CITIZENS AND PILLARS OF THE COMMUNITY n BUT IT DOES HAPPEN AND LIKE THE PEOPLE OF THE LITTLE TOWN OF "ETH -AACAH IT IS IMPORTANT TO lGURE OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT !T lRST THE PEOPLE IN MY ANCIENT STORY WERE PRETTY WELL CLUELESS )T TOOK


THEM A WHILE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE UGLY REALITY ! SIEGE WAS A DEADLY TACTIC OF CONQUEST )F A CITY COULD NOT BE TAKEN IMMEDIATELY IT COULD BE SURROUNDED SO THAT NO ONE COULD GO IN OR OUT 7ITH THE COMMUNITY CUT OFF FROM OUTSIDE HELP THE SIEGE COULD BE CONTINUED UNTIL THE IMPRISONED INHABITANTS RAN OUT OF FOOD AND WATER /F COURSE THE MOST VULNERABLE WERE ALWAYS THE WOMEN AND THE CHILDREN )T COULD TAKE A LONG TIME AND INCREDIBLE SUFFERING BEFORE THE CITY lNALLY FELL "UT FAMILIES CAUGHT IN THE TRAP OF DOMESTIC ABUSE CAN ALSO lND THEM SELVES HEMMED IN ON ALL SIDES UNABLE TO ESCAPE SOMETIMES WITH LIFE THREAT ENING CIRCUMSTANCES OFTEN ISOLATED FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY 4HE VICTIMS EXIST WITHIN A MANY SIDED TRAP 4RY AS THEY MAY THEY CANNOT lND AN OPENING BY WHICH THEY MIGHT ESCAPE TO A WORLD OF SAFETY AND SANITY 4HE TERRIBLE TRUTH IS THAT MANY ON THE OUTSIDE WHO KNOW OF THEIR PLIGHT ARE CAUGHT IN THE VERY SAME SET OF BARRI ERS AND CANNOT lND AN OPENING 9ES

WE IN OUR #HRISTIAN SOCIETY ARE ALSO ENCIRCLED IN A RING OF BARRIERS THAT PREVENTS US FROM BRINGING HELP (AVE YOU MET THE PROPHECY OF /BADIAH )TS THE SHORTEST AND LEAST READ BOOK IN THE /LD 4ESTAMENT !ND YET IT PACKS A WALLOP FOR ANYONE WHO ENCOUNTERS A VICTIM OF OPPRESSION 4HE BOOK HAS A VERY SIMPLE MESSAGE THE IMPORTANCE OF STANDING UP FOR THOSE IN NEED )N /BADIAHS PROPHECY HE REPROACHES THE %DOMITES FOR THEIR FAILURE TO COME TO THE AID OF THE IN HABITANTS OF *ERUSALEM WHEN THEIR CITY WAS DESTROYED AND THEY WERE LED AWAY IN CAPTIVITY 4HE %DOMITES WERE CLOSE RELATIVES OF THE )SRAELITES AND THEY ARE CONDEMNED FOR VIOLENCE NOT BECAUSE THEY WERE THE INVADERS BUT BECAUSE THEY DIDNT LIFT A lNGER TO HELP THEIR KINFOLK

"ECAUSE OF THE VIOLENCE YOU DID TO YOUR CLOSE RELATIVES IN )SRAEL YOU WILL BE lLLED WITH SHAME AND DESTROYED FOREVER 7HEN THEY WERE INVADED YOU STOOD ALOOF REFUSING TO HELP THEM &OREIGN INVADERS CARRIED OFF THEIR WEALTH AND CAST LOTS TO DIVIDE UP *ERUSALEM BUT YOU ACTED LIKE ONE OF )SRAELS ENEMIES 9OU SHOULD NOT HAVE GLOATED WHEN THEY EXILED YOUR RELA TIVES TO DISTANT LANDS   9OU SHOULD NOT HAVE SPOKEN ARROGANTLY IN THAT TERRIBLE TIME OF TROUBLE VS   !LL TOO MANY OF US ARE STANDING ALOOF AND ACTING LIKE ENEMIES BLAM ING THE VICTIM AND ACTING SELF RIGH TEOUS )F 'OD CONDEMNS THE %DOMITES FOR THEIR SMUG ARROGANCE AND NON INVOLVEMENT WHAT IS HIS JUDGMENT UPON US 3OMETIMES WE HAVE NOT BEEN REALIS TIC IN DEALING WITH A BAD SITUATION 7E FALL BACK ON PAT ANSWERS AND DISMISS OFFENDERS WITH LITTLE MORE THAN A PRAYER *EREMIAH SAID h4HEY OFFER SUPERlCIAL TREATMENTS FOR THE MORTAL WOUNDS OF THE DAUGHTER OF MY PEOPLE 4HEY GIVE ASSURANCES OF PEACE WHEN THERE IS NO PEACEv *ER  7ORSE YET WE CAN CONCLUDE THAT SOMEBODY ISNT PRAYING HARD ENOUGH IF THE PROB LEM ISNT RESOLVED INSTANTLY "UT WE HAVE LEFT THE BESIEGED IN HABITANTS OF THE TOWN OF "ETH -AACAH FOR A VERY LONG TIME 7HAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO THEM WHILE WE HAVE BEEN PHILOSOPHIZING &IRST OF ALL SOME ARE WRESTLING WITH REALITY (OW COULD NOBLE RIGHTEOUS +ING $AVID HAVE SENT HIS SOLDIERS TO THREATEN THEIR VERY EXISTENCE 7HY THIS BETRAYAL 4HEN THEY STOPPED ASKING WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO THEM TO ASKING WHAT HOPE WAS THERE FOR THE CITYS SURVIVAL .OW THIS WAS A CITY THAT WAS FAMOUS FOR THE WISDOM OF ITS INHABITANTS (OW COME THEY COULDNT HANDLE THIS

&REQUENTLY WE TOO CAN BE VERY JUDG MENTAL 7HEN IT COMES TO DOMESTIC ABUSE OFTEN THE VICTIM IS EXPECTED TO CARE OF THE SITUATION HERSELF !FTER ALL

SHES A PERFECTLY INTELLIGENT WOMAN 7HY DOESNT SHE JUST LEAVE #ENTRAL TO ALL OF THIS IS THE VICTIMS INABILITY TO HELP HERSELF /UTSIDERS MAY ASK WHY SHE DOESNT LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP /FTEN HOWEVER SHE HAS BEEN SUBJECTED TO PROLONGED PSYCHO LOGICAL WARFARE THAT LEAVES HER INCA PABLE OF CONSTRUCTIVE ACTION )N OUR COMMUNITY THERE WAS A HIGHLY PUBLICIZED CASE IN WHICH A BRIL LIANT PHYSICIAN SHOT HER HUSBAND AFTER MANY YEARS OF ABUSE 7HY HAD SHE PUT UP WITH IT FOR SO LONG 4HE DIREC TOR OF A LOCAL SHELTER TOLD A REPORTER h6ICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ARE IN AN ALTERED STATE 5P SEEMS DOWN )TS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF SOME ONE IS A VICTIM ALL THESE YEARS ITS SORT OF LIKE SHES BEEN BRAINWASHED 9OU ARE IN ESSENCE A PRISONERv ! WOMAN AT THE SHELTER ADDED h4HEY BREAK YOU DOWN 9OU FEEL LESS THAN HUMAN 4HEY ISOLATE YOU 4HEY SAY @.O ONE CARES ABOUT YOU /NLY ) LOVE YOU !ND YOU START TO BE LIEVE IT 4HEN IT BUILDS TO THE PHYSICAL )TS WORSE FOR PEOPLE WITH HIGHER SOCIAL STATUS 3OCIETY PUTS MORE PRESSURE ON THEM )TS MORE EMBARRASSINGv  3OMETIMES HIGHLY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE CAUGHT IN THAT TRAP JUST LIKE THE PARALYZED PEOPLE IN THAT CITY AND SOMETIMES THERE IS AN INCIDENT THAT CHANGES THINGS )N THE CASE OF !BEL "ETH -AACAH THERE WAS AN OMINOUS NEW DEVELOPMENT !S PEOPLE LOOKED OUT OVER THE WALL THEY COULD NOW OBSERVE THAT NOT ONLY HAD *OABS SOLDIERS SURROUNDED THE CITY BUT NOW THEY WERE ERECTING A SIEGE RAMP )F AN ENEMY COULD NOT BREACH CITY WALLS OR SCALE THEM WITH LADDERS THEY COULD BUILD A RAMP OF EARTH THAT ENABLED AN INVADING ARMY TO MARCH RIGHT UP AND CONTINUED




+<FDIB±1@IN@±-PO±JA±<±2@MMD=G@±2M<Q@NOT±CONTINUED OVER THE CITY WALLS TO DESTROY THE TERRI lED POPULACE FROM WITHIN !T "ETH -AACAH IT WAS THE CON STRUCTION OF THE SIEGE RAMP THAT PROVED THE PRECIPITATING EVENT .OT ONLY HAD THE RAMP REACHED THE OUTER FORTIlCATION BUT NOW THE BATTERING OF THE WALL HAD BEGUN 4HAT GALVANIZED ONE WOMAN IN THE COMMUNITY INTO ACTION 3HE MARCHED OUT ON THE WALL IN FULL SIGHT OF THE ENEMY 4HIS WAS A COURAGEOUS MOVE BECAUSE THE DOUBLE ARCHED BOW WAS ALREADY IN USE AND IT HAD A DEADLY RANGE OF A QUARTER OF A MILE 3HE WAS WILLING TO TAKE RISKS TO SERVE AS A PEACEMAKER TO BECOME A VOICE FOR JUSTICE AND RIGHTEOUSNESS TO ATTEMPT THE DELIVERANCE OF HERSELF AND HER COMMUNITY 3HE STOOD THERE CLEARLY VISIBLE AND CLEARLY WISHING TO BE HEARD !ND SHE DEMANDED TO SPEAK TO *OAB !S THE COMMANDER APPEARS SHE HAS THE MORAL COURAGE TO ADDRESS THE ABUSER DIRECTLY !RE YOU *OAB ) AM ,ISTEN TO WHAT YOUR SERVANT HAS TO SAY )M LISTENING h) AM A WOMAN OF PEACEv SHE DECLARED hAND FULL OF THE FAITH OF )SRAELv  3AM  FF 7ITH THE MIGHT OF )SRAEL POISED AGAINST HER SHE CAN ONLY APPEAL TO WHAT IS RIGHT (ER APPROACH WILL BE BASED ON THE LAW OF 'OD IN WHICH SHE IS WELL VERSED $EUTERONOMY  STIPULATES THE CONDITIONS UNDER WHICH )SRAELITES MIGHT LAY A SIEGE h7HEN YOU MARCH UP TO ATTACK A CITY MAKE ITS PEOPLE AN OFFER OF PEACEv 4HIS THEY HAD NEGLECTED TO DO AND SO SHE REMINDS *OAB OF WHAT IS RIGHT IN 'ODS EYES (E HAS OFFERED NO PRELIMINARY COMMUNICATION NO REASON GIVEN FOR THIS ACT OF WAR NO RATIONAL EXPLANATION 4HE DISCUSSION IS CONDUCTED IN THE FULL HEARING OF AN ARMY THAT IS SUP POSEDLY COMMITTED TO OBEYING THE



LAW OF 'OD UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF A RIGHTEOUS KING #LEARLY ADHERENCE TO 'ODS 7ORD HAD NOT BEEN UPPERMOST IN THEIR MINDS &URTHERMORE THE WOMAN IS ABLE TO LAY OUT THE CONSE QUENCES OF *OABS ACTION ,ONG AGO WHEN PEOPLE HAD A PERPLEX ITY OR A CONmICT THEY USED TO SAY h'ET YOUR ANSWER IN !BEL AND THAT SETTLED ITv ) AM ONE WHO IS PEACE LOVING AND FAITHFUL IN )SRAEL "UT YOU ARE DESTROY ING A MOTHER IN )SRAEL AN IMPORTANT TOWN 7HY DO YOU WANT TO DEVOUR WHAT BELONGS TO THE ,ORDv 4HE LITTLE TOWN OF !BEL BETH MAACAH WAS NOT FAMED BECAUSE IT PRODUCED THE BEST ARMAMENTS THOUGH THAT MIGHT HAVE HELPED THEM AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT NOR DID THEY PRODUCE THE lN EST WINE NOR THE MOST ELEGANT POTTERY .O THEIR PRODUCT WAS FAR DIFFERENT )T WAS WISDOM THAT RARE GIFT OF WISE COUNSEL !S THEY SOUGHT 'ODS MIND

THEY WERE ABLE TO GUIDE OTHER TROUBLED INDIVIDUALS INTO PEACEABLE AND PRO DUCTIVE WAYS AND NOW THIS PRICELESS COMMUNITY THIS TREASURE IN )SRAEL WAS THREATENED WITH EXTERMINATION 4HE OBSCURE UNNAMED WOMAN OF OUR STORY IS HOLDING THE OFFENDER ACCOUNTABLE ,IKE MANY ANOTHER *OAB GREW NERVOUS WHEN SHE BEGAN TO CITE WHAT WAS RIGHT AND WRONG ON THE BASIS OF SCRIPTURE n ESPECIALLY WITHIN EARSHOT OF HIS FAITH COMMUNITY (E IS EVEN MORE NERVOUS WHEN HE FACES THE CONSEQUENCES h"ELIEVE ME ) DONT WANT TO DEVOUR OR DESTROY YOUR TOWN 4HATS NOT MY PURPOSEv !ND THEN HE GOES ON TO EXPLAIN THAT HIS VENDETTA CENTERS ON A MAN NAMED 3HEBA WHO HAS REVOLTED AGAINST +ING $AVID AND IS SEEKING TO RAISE AN ARMY AGAINST HIM )N HIS QUEST TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT BY FORCE

HE HAS mED *OABS VIGILANTES AND TAKEN REFUGE AMONG THE !BELS HOSPITABLE CITIZENS ,ITTLE DID THEY KNOW THAT

A TRAITOR WAS HOUSED IN THEIR MIDST 4HERE HAVE BEEN OFFENDERS BOTH OUT SIDE THE CITY AND WITHIN IT !T LAST THE WOMAN UNDERSTANDS THE UNDERLYING PROBLEM n SHE HAS NO WISH TO PROTECT ONE WHO SEEKS THE KINGS LIFE NOR TO SYMPATHIZE WITH HIS CAUSE 4HE FOLK IN THE TOWN WILL DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM VERY HANDILY n SHE CAN SEE TO THAT 3HE HAS NO DESIRE TO HAND THE CRIMINAL OVER TO THE VICIOUS AND VIOLENT *OAB WHO HAS ALREADY DISEMBOWELED ONE MEMBER OF THE REVOLT IN A TREACHEROUS AND PARTICULARLY DISGUSTING ACTION 4HEN THE "IBLE TELLS US THAT THE WOMAN WENT TO HER PEOPLE WITH HER WISE COUNSEL AND THEY SPEEDILY RESOLVED THE MATTER 4HEY HELD THE OF FENDER ACCOUNTABLE AND EXECUTED HIM SUMMARILY *OAB BLEW HIS TRUMPET AND COMMANDED HIS SOLDIERS TO RETREAT

AND SO THE CITY WAS SAVED (OW MUCH THAT WISE WOMAN HAS TO TEACH US 7HEN WE WONDER WHAT CAN WE ORDINARY PEOPLE DO ABOUT THE HORRENDOUS PROBLEM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE THINK OF THE WOMAN WHO DARED TO SPEAK OUT 3HE DARED TO RECOGNIZE THE REALITY TO NAME THE ABUSE AND TO HOLD THE OFFENDERS ACCOUNTABLE %MPOWERED AND ASSURED BY THE 7ORD OF 'OD SHE WAS ABLE TO DENOUNCE THE EVIL TO DELINEATE THE CONSEQUENCES AND TO GAIN THE MORAL HIGH GROUND (ER PROPHETIC STANCE CAUSED THE COM MUNITY TO TAKE APPROPRIATE ACTION -AY WE LIKE THAT WOMAN GO TO OUR OWN PEOPLE WITH A CLEAR PRESENTATION OF THE PROBLEM AND HOW IT MAY BE ADDRESSED -AY WE BE WILLING TO SHARE OUR CONVICTIONS OUR CONCERN AND OUR COMPASSION &OOTNOTES  h4HIS REALLY COULDNT HAPPEN TO MEv #APE #OD 4IMES 7EDNESDAY

!PRIL   P 


*PI?T± <I>MJAON±F@T±>JI>@KON±± <=JPO± <OO@MDIB±

! RELIGIOUSLY DEVOTED OR DEVOTED SEEMING MAN IS NO LESS LIKELY TO BATTER THAN ANY OTHER Õ¤3OME BATTERERS ARE SPECIlCALLY ATTRACTED TO THE COVER THAT PIOUSNESS PROVIDES THEM Õ¤&AITH COMMUNITIES CAN EITHER COLLUDE WITH ABUSERS OR GIVE PROPER SUPPORT TO VICTIMS AND THEIR CHILDREN n A CRITICAL CHOICE Õ¤4HE BATTERER SOMETIMES APPEARS TO BE A GREAT FATHER AS WELL AS A GREAT GUY Õ¤)T IS ESSENTIAL TO LOOK BELOW THE SURFACE

AND TO TAKE DISCLOSURE OF ABUSE SERIOUSLY Õ¤"ATTERING IS PRIMARILY CHOSEN BEHAVIOR

NOT OUT OF CONTROL BEHAVIOR Õ¤"ATTERERS COME IN ALL PERSONALITY TYPES Õ¤"ATTERERS WORK HARD TO CONCEAL THEIR PROBLEM Õ¤"ATTERERS WORK HARD TO CAST DOUBT ON THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE VICTIM

Õ¤

<I>MJAO±D?@IODAD@N±OC@±AJGGJRDIB±± <NK@>ON±DI±OC@±KMJ>@NN±JA±>C<IB@ !CCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY դ$EVELOPMENT OF EMPATHY դ)DENTIFYING PATTERN OF COERCIVE CONTROL դ&ULL DISCLOSURE դ)DENTIFYING ABUSIVE ATTITUDES դ2ELINQUISHING EXCUSES դ$EVELOPMENT OF EMPATHY FOR CHILDREN դ-AKING AMENDS դ$EVELOPING RESPECTFUL BEHAVIORS դ!CCEPTING CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS դ#OMMITTING TO LIFELONG CHANGE

Õ¤




!JIA@M@I>@±DI± 5<NCDIBOJI ±"!± 3AVE THE DATES FOR OUR NEXT CONFERENCE /CTOBER n  #OLUMBUS $AY WEEKEND FOR A CONFERENCE AT THE 3LIGO 3EVENTH DAY !DVENTIST #HURCH IN 4AKOMA 0ARK -ARYLAND




ECENTLY .ANCY .ASON #LARK AND #ATHIE +ROEGER PRESENTED AT AN EVENT SPONSORED BY THE $EPARTMENT OF 0UBLIC (EALTH OF THE #OMMONWEALTH OF -ASSACHUSETTS )NCREASINGLY THERE HAS BEEN A CONCERN TO PROVIDE SECULAR CAREGIVERS WITH WAYS OF ADDRESSING THE RELIGIOUS CONCERNS OF ABUSED WOMEN !BOUT lFTY CAREGIVERS ATTENDED RANGING IN THEIR OWN CONVICTIONS ALL THE WAY FROM ATHEISM TO DEEP #HRISTIAN COMMITMENT !T lRST THERE WAS CONSIDERABLE NERVOUSNESS ABOUT EVEN ADDRESSING SUCH A TOPIC BUT THERE WAS ALSO AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT WOMEN OF FAITH NEED TO BE FREE TO EXPLORE ISSUES OF SPIRITUALITY /BVIOUSLY NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE RELIGIOUS AND SOME MAKE A SPECIAL POINT OF NOT BEING RELIGIOUS AT ALL AND PERHAPS OF STRONGLY RESISTING RELIGIOUS IDEAS .EVERTHELESS EVERY SOCIETY AND EVERY CIVILIZATION OBSERVED BY ANTHROPOLOGIST HAS EVINCED A PROPENSITY TO RELIGION OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER 3OMETIMES AS IN THE 3OVIET 2EPUBLIC WHERE RELIGION HAS BEEN SUPPRESSED AND DENIED

THERE IS AFTERWARDS A PROFOUND EXPLOSION INTO A PLETHORA OF RELIGIOUS OBSERVANCE AND EXPRESSION 5SUALLY BUT NOT ALWAYS RELIGION INVOLVES A SENSE OF ANOTHER FORCE OR CONCEPT OUTSIDE ONESELF )T MIGHT BE A SET OF PHILOSOPHICAL PRINCIPLES OR IT MIGHT BE A HIGHER POWER

THE EXISTENCE OF A NUMINOUS BEING 4HIS DIVINE PRINCIPLE IS PERCEIVED AS HOLDING SOME RELATIONSHIP HOWEVER REMOTE TO THE INDIVIDUAL AND TO THE WORLD AROUND THEM "UT A GREAT MANY WOMEN DO INDEED HAVE A RELIGIOUS FAITH n THAT IS PART OF WHO THEY ARE AND IF WE ARE TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE PERSON

WE NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE CLIENT HAS SPIRITUAL NEEDS AND ASPECTS AND EXPERIENCES THAT ARE PART OF THE TOTAL PERSON 0ARTICULARLY WHEN WE ARE DEALING WITH ABUSED WOMEN

WE CANNOT HELP NOTING THAT RELIGION MAY BE EITHER HELPFUL OR DEVASTATINGLY HURTFUL )T CAN LEAVE A WOMAN SHACKLED AND ENDANGERED AND DEVOID OF ALL SELF WORTH OR IT CAN BE A TREMENDOUS FORCE IN HER HEALING AND RESTORATION OF SELF ESTEEM (OW CAN PERSONS IN A SECULAR AGENCY GAIN AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE A VICTIM 3HE MAY BE FRIGHTENED TO ADMIT HER RELIGIOUS VIEWS IN A SHELTER OR THERAPY GROUP OR EVEN ON A HELP LINE BUT IT MAY INmUENCE HER RESPONSE TO THE KINDS OF HELP THAT A PARTICULAR AGENCY IS OFFERING /FTEN CARE PROVIDERS ARE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE BRINGING UP THE TOPIC OF RELIGION AT ALL -ANY AGENCIES DO NOT PERMIT CAREGIVERS TO DISCUSS THEIR PERSONAL RELIGIOUS VIEWS WITH CLIENTS

)N MANY SITUATIONS THE BEST APPROACH FOR SECULAR CAREGIVERS MAY BE RATHER OBJECTIVE h)S THERE ANY THING SPECIAL YOU NEED 9OURE GOING TO HAVE TO TELL ME BECAUSE ) DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE PRACTICES OF YOUR GROUPv !N OBSERVANT -USLIM WOULD WELCOME THE USE OF A PRAYER RUG

ANOTHER WOMAN MIGHT BE GRATEFUL FOR A ROSARY OR A "IBLE 4HIS DOES NOT IMPLY AN ENDORSEMENT OF A PARTICULAR PRACTICE n JUST A DESIRE TO RESPECT THEM AND THEIR TRADITION /F COURSE THE DEEPER ISSUE IS HOW ONE CAN HELP A CLIENT TO lND STRENGTH AND HEALING IN HER FAITH TRADITION RATHER THAN BONDAGE ! CAREGIVER MIGHT ASK QUESTION SUCH AS h) SEE THAT YOU HAVE A ROSARY ;OR ) SEE THAT YOURE VERY FAITHFUL IN PRAYER= $OES PRAYING HELP YOU TO FEEL STRONGERv )F THE TOPIC OF FAITH IS RAISED BY THE CLIENT ONE MIGHT ASK h7HAT PARTS OF YOUR FAITH CAN HELP YOU TO BECOME STRONG AND GET YOU READY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELFv OR h9OU SEEM TO HAVE A LOT OF FAITH $OES IT HELP YOU TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUv 4HIS APPROACH MAY ENCOURAGE THE CLIENT TO ASK QUESTIONS FOR HERSELF TO COME TO HER OWN CONCLUSIONS !LL RELIGIONS CALL FOR THEIR ADHERENTS TO GROW IN THEIR UNDERSTANDING AND THEY MAY OFTEN COME TO VIEW THINGS IN A QUITE DIFFERENT LIGHT 4HERE ARE MOMENTS WHEN WE COME TO A NEW GROWTH THAT CAN LEAVE US STRONGER AND MORE CONlDENT )T WAS AS SHE mED FROM ABUSE THAT (AGAR DISCOVERED 'OD FOR HERSELF 7OMEN CAN BE AFlRMED IN THEIR FAITH DISCOVERIES AND SOMETIMES THERE ARE WAYS THAT RESOURCES CAN BE MADE AVAILABLE TO THEM /FTEN READING MATERIALS ARE WELCOME AND CAN BE PLACED ON A BOOKSHELF OR A DESK OR IN THE WASHROOM 4HERE ARE MANY STORIES ABOUT THE WAY THAT CERTAIN BOOKS ARE SHARED AND PASSED AROUND A SHELTER AND TREASURED 2ECORDINGS OF HYMNS AND PRAISE MUSIC CAN REFRESH mAGGING SPIRITS AND THERE ARE ALSO SOME HELPFUL TELEVISION PROGRAMS /NE IN PARTICULAR TO NOTE IS A SERIES ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE THAT WILL BE AIRED IN MANY COMMUNITIES BY THE $AY OF $ISCOVERY MINISTRY AT  AM ON 3UNDAY MORNINGS DURING THE MONTH OF /CTOBER 3UCH RESOURCES CAN BECOME DISCUSSION STARTERS AS WELL AS SPRINGBOARDS FOR PRIVATE REmECTION 4HE ELEMENT OF SPIRITUALITY IS INCREASINGLY BECOMING RECOGNIZED AS PART OF THE TOTAL PERSON AND INCREASINGLY BEING ACCEPTED IN THE WIDER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COMMUNITY 4HERE IS GREAT POTENTIAL FOR ALL OF US TO EXPLORE




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! PROBLEMATIC PASSAGE IN THE +ORAN #HAPTER  6ERSE  IS USUALLY TRANSLATED AS AN INSTRUCTION THAT A REBELLIOUS WOMAN SHOULD lRST BE REBUKED THENÂ&#x2C6;IF HER BEHAVIOR PERSISTEDÂ&#x2C6;DESERTED IN BED AND THEN BEATEN 3OME HAVE SUGGESTED THAT DAAUBA THE LAST VERB SHOULD BE TRANSLATED hBEATEN LIGHTLYv ,ALEH "AKHTIAR AN )RANIAN !MERICAN WOMAN PROlCIENT IN ANCIENT !RABIC IS PREPARING AN %NGLISH TRANSLATION OF THE +ORAN THAT TAKES A DIFFERENT TACK $ARABA CAN ALSO MEAN hTO LEAVEv OR hTO GO AWAY FROMv 4HE 2ELIGION "OOKLINE REPORTED THAT "AKHTIAR PROPOSED AN ALTERNATE hWHEN THE 0ROPHET -UHAMMAD WAS UPSET WITH ANY OF HIS MULTIPLE WIVES HE WITHDREW FROM THEM FOR SOME WEEKS RATHER THAN BEAT THEMv

 3TONY "ROOK 2OAD "REWSTER -!     WWWPEACEANDSAFETYCOM


August 2007