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NEVER GIVE UP: How To Have Children - AFTER You Have Had 1 or More Miscarriages By Marcia Stevenson

Have you gone to the hospital, pregnant with new life and full of all the hopes, dreams, plans wrapped up in that new life? Only to leave, hours later, woefully empty-handed. Your hopes and dreams gone, left on somebody’s surgical table, never to rise again? Have you said to yourself “I will not try again! This is too hard”. Did the loss of your baby cause silence in your marriage - the sound of which was so deafening that it threatened to knock down all of the walls in your house, especially the bedroom? Have you seen your husband cry harder, longer, louder than you because the loss of a baby to a man well nobody ever plans for that. This article is for you or someone you know who has been through one or more miscarriages. Loud and clear, the bible speaks to us on the issue of children. Several scriptures are apropos; “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is HIS reward” Psalm 127:3 “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9 “Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons; Deuteronomy 4:9 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 Where God has said the fruit of the womb is His reward and HE is the one who makes a barren woman keep house, we also know that God is not a man that HE should lie, nor the son of man that HE should repent. The promises of God are yea and amen. He intends to get HIS reward and it is God who gives us children for HIS purposes. That being abundantly plain, we know that when a couple experiences one or more miscarriages, it is very painful, disheartening and decidedly not of God. Often there may be underlying medical issues. Other times, no answer has been given. Whatever the circumstance, we know, as believers and followers of Christ, that we don’t have to give up - for the victory that helps us overcome is our faith. How do you get from fear to faith? Fear of losing another one, fear of even trying to hope to get


pregnant again, fear of letting people know that you are pregnant again? It is not an easy road, but faith in God will get you to where you want to be. You want to be a parent. You want children with whom to share your life. As a mother who lost not one, not two, not three, but four precious little ones, I had to learn to NEVER give up. I had to speak the word of God over myself and our seed. I had to learn to be happy and not nervous when we decided to try again. I also learned to make a lot of sacrifices. I had to believe God that my body was strong enough to try again and bring a living, thriving baby into this world. After my husband and I lost the twins at 19 weeks, we were devastated. By this time, we had lost 2 children. Each time, they were born too early and could not survive. When we started losing the twins, I thought, not again. But we lost them anyway. Our daughter was born alive and our son was a stillbirth. That was the only daughter we would have. After a very short sabbatical and a very honest discussion with God, we regrouped and decided we would try again. You see, I was very angry at God. I said “we are tithers, we go to church, we serve in the church, etc, etc. How could this happen to us? When God gave me an answer of peace, we were able to move on. My husband took the loss of the twins very, very hard. But, together, we prayed, talked to God and were able to pull ourselves together. We tried again. Though our now 15 year old son was born early - 25 weeks and weighed 1 lb 12 ounces, he is well and beat all of the odds. We took a more diligent stand and made up our minds that we were going to believe God. We were going to believe the word of God about children and I would become a joyful mother of children. In between all of that, when I mentioned that I had to make sacrifices, I mean I had surgery to remove fibroid tumors, I had to have a surgical stitch each time I became pregnant, and I was on bed-rest during each subsequent pregnancy. Also, I was on complete bed-rest when it looked like our now 15 yr old would come out early too. I went into labor at 19 weeks with him also, BUT I said not this time, and I meant it. I was on complete bed rest, in the hospital, until he was born 5 weeks later. I mentioned all that to say, a couple has to be willing to do what it takes. And believe God all along the way. The doctors may say one thing, but we know what the Lord has said. To God be the glory, my husband and I have three great sons - ages 11, 12 and 15. It’s funny because my doctor told me to count my blessings. He did not want us to try for a third child. But, I said “No, we will have one more”. All of our sons were born in June. We celebrate that we have the victory. We know that God has great plans for each of their lives. We never gave up and we grew in faith. That was the key. God’s word is true and powerful! It works! Remember this scripture as well “for with God nothing shall be impossible”. Luke 1:37. In all humility, Marcia Stevenson



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