Issuu on Google+

 

 


2

         

Mentoring   Mindset,  Skills  and  Tools    

By   Ann  Rolfe           ©2012  Mentoring  Works   A  business  unit  of   Synergetic  People  Development  Pty  Limited  


This  page  has  intentionally  been  left  blank    


4 ©   2012   Mentoring   Works,   a   division   of   Synergetic   People   Development  Pty  Limited     ISBN  978-­‐0-­‐9872765-­‐0-­‐6     Mentoring:   mindset,   skills   and   tools   is   copyright.   Apart   from   any   fair   dealing   for   the   purposes   of   private   study,   research,   criticism   or   review   as   permitted   under   the   Copyright   Act,   no   part   may   be   reproduced,   stored   in   a   retrieval   system,   or   transmitted   in   any   form   or   by   any   means,   electronic,   mechanical  photocopying,  recording  or  otherwise.     The   purchaser’s   attention   is   drawn   to   the   provisions   of   the   Trade  Practices  Act  1974  as  amended  which  apply  conditions   and  warranties  into  certain  contracts  for  the  supply  of  goods   and   services.   Where   such   conditions   and   warranties   are   implied,   the   liability   of   Mentoring   Works   shall   be   limited   subject   to   the   provisions   of   the   Act   to   the   replacement   or   repair  of  the  goods  or  the  supply  of  equivalent  goods.     The  information  contained  herein  is  subject  to  change.     Note  to  Trainers  and  Educators     Email  ann@mentoring-­‐works.com  or  phone  +61  2  4342  2610   if   you   are   interested   in   workshops,   presentations,   slides,   session  plans  or  online  learning  based  on  this  material.  


This  page  has  intentionally  been  left  blank  


6

Contents     Introduction……………………………………………………………………….7     1.  Why  Mentoring?......…………………………….………………….……11   What  Do  Mentors  Get  Out  of  It?......……………………………………11   Benefits  for  Mentorees,  Mentors  and  the  Organisation………13     2.  What  Is  Mentoring?......……………………………..…………………19   What  Do  Mentors  Get  Out  of  It?......……………………………...……11   Benefits  for  Mentorees,  Mentors  and  the  Organisation..….…13     3.  Roles  and  Responsibilities..………………….………………….……37   The  Mentoring  Code………………........……………………………...……40   Phases  in  the  Mentoring  Relationship………………………..…..…..44     4.  A  Framework  for  Mentoring......…………………………….……..49   The  Mentoring  Conversation…….......……………………………………49     5.  Mentoring  Mindset...…………………………….………………………55     6.  Essential  Skills......…………..…………………….………………………79   Being  Present......…………………………………………………………………80   Listening  …………………………….……………………………………………….81   The  Pareto  Principle………….…………………………………………..…….86   Communication  Styles………………………………………………………….89   Giving  &  Receiving  Feedback……………………………………………….97   Questioning………………………………………………………………….……102     7.  Tools  &  Guides.....…………..……………….…….……………………105   Setting  and  Achieving  Goals..…………………………………………….106   Two  Types  of  Problem  Solving/Decision  Making.……………….111  


Ten  Things  to  do  With  a  Mentor….…………………………………….113   What  To  Talk  About  When  There’s  Nothing  To  Talk  About…114   A  Guide  to  Questioning………………………………………………………117     8.  Managing  Your  Mentoring  Relationship………………………127   Getting  Organised……………...…………………………………………….127   A  Mentoring  Plan……………………………………………..……………….130   Pre-­‐Meeting  Checklist……………..….…………………………………….132   Post-­‐Meeting  Checklist………………………………………………………132   Structure  the  Mentoring  Meeting..………………………………….…133   The  Mentoring  Relationship  Step-­‐by-­‐Step………………………….136   Evaluating  Your  Mentoring  Relationship……………………………140     9.  Templates……......…………..……………….…….……………………141   Mentoring  Log…………………...…………………………………………….142   Mentoring  Agreement…………………………………….…………….….143   A  Mentoring  Plan………………………………………………………………144   ACHIEVE  Goal  Setting………………………………………………………..146   Debrief………………………………………………………………………………148     References………………………..…………………………………………….149              


8

8      Mentoring  Mindset,  Skills  and  Tools  

Introduction   ***********************************************     Mentoring   has   changed!   Traditional   approaches   have   inspired   a  new  generation  of  possibilities.     There  is  no  “one-­‐size  fits  all”  in  mentoring.  It  is  now  tailored   to  suit  individuals,  circumstances  and  the  outcomes  you  want.   There   are   many   ways   to   mentor,   such   as   one-­‐to-­‐one,   group,   reverse  and  my  favourite,  reciprocal  mentoring.     There’s  also  no  single  definition  of  mentoring.  Because  there   are   many   types   of   mentoring   and   coaching,   the   distinctions   between   them   get   blurred.   People   often   have   very   different   things   in   mind   when   they   talk   about   “mentoring”   or   “coaching”.       This   book   provides   a   framework   for   building   relationships   and   facilitating   conversations   that   help   people   gain   insight   and   produce  outcomes  that  are  useful  to  them.  The  mindset,  skills   and  tools  I  describe  can  be  applied  in  conversations  that  could   be  called  mentoring  or  coaching,  or  simply  leadership.       It’s  never  been  more  important  to  learn  with  and  from  other   people.   It   is   vital   to   expand   possibilities,   think   critically   and   creatively,   evaluate   options,   make   informed   decisions,   plan   and   act   to   achieve   your   goals.   Mentoring   enables   you   to   do   that.        


Introduction      9   Is  This  Book  For  You?     If  you  are  a  mentoree,  this  book  will  help  you:     • Organise  and  plan  your  mentoring;    

Focus  on  goals;  

Generate  ideas,  actions  and  outcomes;  and  

 

 

• Reflect  on  your  progress.       If  you  are  a  mentor,  this  book  gives  you:     • Proven  techniques  for  leading  a  mentoring  conversation;    

Sample  questions  and  conversation  starters;  

Guidelines   and   practical   tools   to   make   mentoring   easier,   more  enjoyable  and  effective.  

 

  This   book   is   written   for   both   mentors   and   mentorees   because   both   need   the   right   mindset,   skills   and   tools   to   make   mentoring  a  productive  and  satisfying  experience.     The   models   you’ll   find   in   the   book   are   grounded   in   adult   learning,   action   learning   and   classic   decision-­‐making.   I’ve   been   influenced   by   developments   in   appreciative   inquiry,   positivity,  neuro  leadership  and  empathic  intelligence.       The  knowledge  and  skills  you  take  from  the  book  will  help  you   in  any  professional  or  personal  relationship.      


10 10      Mentoring  Mindset,  Skills  and  Tools   About  Me     My   career   started   in   the   eighties,   as   a   training   officer   in   banking  and  finance.  I  then  trained  as  a  career  councillor  and   began,   during   an   economic   recession,   to   help   retrenched   senior   managers   to   move   on   in   their   lives   and   build   new   careers.       Already,   significant   mentors   had   profoundly   changed   my   thinking  and  I  may  never  have  found  my  path  had  it  not  been   for   the   conversations,   inspiration   and   examples   set   in   those   early   days   by   Denis   Loaney,   who   was   my   manager   at   the   Credit   Union   Association   of   New   South   Wales;   Paul   Stevens,   founder   of   Worklife;   and   the   love   and   support   of   my   then   husband,  David  Rolfe-­‐Flett.       In   1994,   I   began   to   focus   on   mentoring   as   the   key   strategy   for   people  who  want  to  progress  their  careers.  Since  then,  I  have   helped   organisations   to   design   and   implement   mentoring   programs   and   run   workshops   for   mentors   and   mentorees   in   Australia   and   overseas.   I’ve   worked   with   graduates,   engineers,   academics,   scientists,   and   with   managers   and   employees   in   fields   as   diverse   as   health,   construction,   energy,   education,  communications,  law  and  government.       I’ve   always   had   mentors   and   I   owe   special   thanks   to   my   current   ones,   Amanda   Rungis   and   Carol   Campbell   in   our   SB   Group   and   Gihan   Perera   and   David   Norris,   always   there   for   me.          


Introduction      11   Someone   recently   described   me   as   “living   and   breathing   mentoring”  and  it’s  true.  My  work,  my  learning  and  my  life  do   revolve   around   a   central   theme:   I   see   life   a   continuous   process  of  development  and  growth  and  while  you  can  learn   in   many   ways,   conversations,   relationships   and   interactions   with  other  people  are  the  way  you  come  to  know  yourself.     Overview  of  the  Book     Chapters  1-­‐4  introduce  the  concept  and  benefits  of  mentoring   and   describe   roles   and   responsibilities.   In   this   section   you’ll   discover   a   framework   for   a   dynamic   mentoring   relationship   and  my  model,  The  Mentoring  Conversation.     Chapters   5-­‐6   explore   the   mentoring   mindset,   the   skills   and   techniques  that  make  mentoring  work.     Chapters   7-­‐9   provide   tools,   a   step-­‐by-­‐step   guide   to   help   you   manage   and   maintain   your   mentoring   relationship,   plus   checklists   and   activities.   There   are   also   templates   that   you   may   photocopy   for   your   personal   use   but   please   note,   the   contents   of   this   book   are   copyright.   Multiple   copying   or   commercial   use   of   any   part   of   this   book   is   not   permitted   without  a  license  agreement.       All  templates  and  activities  are  available  online:   http://www.mentoring-­‐works.com/members-­‐only   Or  use  the  QR  code  on  the  back  cover.  Your  password   is:   Tools.   Please   do   not   share   the   link   or   password,   as   the  materials  are  only  available  with  book  purchase    


1.  Why  Mentoring?   ***********************************************     If   you   have   ever   had   a   good   mentor,   you   know   the   value   of   having  a  person  who  asks  you  questions  that  make  you  think,   someone   who   listens   without   judging   you.   Who   will,   if   you   ask,  offer  their  opinion  or  ideas  but  makes  sure  that  you  make   your  own  decisions  about  what  you  want  to  do.     Mentoring  is  for  you  if  you  want  to  learn  and  grow.  Whether   you  choose  to  be  a  mentor  or  mentoree,  it  will  help  you  if  you   are   on   a   career   path,   or   want   to   find   one.   It’s   about   setting   and   achieving   goals,   facing   challenges,   solving   problems   and   developing  your  knowledge,  skills  and  ability.       It’s   never   been   more   important   to   take   charge   of   your   personal  and  professional  development.  An  employer  may  or   may   not   provide   resources   and   support   but   ultimately   what   you   make   of   your   career   and   your   life   is   up   to   you.   Conversations   with   mentors   help   you   figure   out   what   you   want  and  the  best  ways  to  get  it.    

What  Do  Mentors  Get  Out  of  It?     Most   mentors   have   altruistic   motivation;   they   volunteer   to   mentor  for  personal  satisfaction,  the  desire  to  assist  others,  or   the   wish   to   give   something   back.   We   should   recognise   and   acknowledge   the   generosity   of   people   who   mentor.   However,   mentors  often  tell  me  that  they  feel  they  gain  as  much  from   mentoring  as  their  mentorees.    


Why  Mentoring?      13     Here’s   what   some   mentorees   said   about   their   experience:     “Amazingly  positive.    I’m  more  confident.”    

“I  now  believe  in  myself,  trust  my  own  judgement.”    

“I   didn’t   think   I   needed   a   mentor   but   now   I   know   it’s   not  just  about  getting  advice  and  I  see  what  I’ve  been   able  to  do,  I’d  recommend  it  to  anyone.”     Senior  managers  said  of  their  experience  as  mentors:     “The   myth   that   the   mentoree   does   all   the   learning   is   wrong”    

 “I  was  inspired  …  it  was  life-­‐changing  …  a  very  personal   experience  …  new  perspective  on  many  things.”    

“It   gave   me   another   view   of   my   organisation   -­‐   from   somebody  else’s  perspective.”    

“It   was   a   chance   to   develop   a   relationship   with   a   person  you  might  not  ever  otherwise  interact  with”.    

  Mentors   often   find   that   using   a   facilitative   style   of   communication   that   draws   out   their   mentoree's   views,   guiding   a   reflective   process   that   leads   to   goal   setting   and   action   and   simply   taking   time-­‐out   to   make   a   contribution,   is   an  important  part  of  their  own  self-­‐development.  


Benefits for Mentorees, Mentors and the Organisation   Mentoring  benefits  you  and  the  organisations  you  work  for  in   four  main  ways:       • Providing  personal  and  professional  development;   • Improving  wellbeing;   • Tapping  into  tacit  knowledge;  and   • Gaining  new  perspective.       Here  how:       Development     The   main   aims   of   workplace   mentoring   are   personal,   professional   and   career   development   for   the   mentoree.   Yet   mentors   report   that   they   enhance   their   communication,   become  better  leaders  and  develop  their  own  career  skills  as  a   result   of   mentoring   others.   Some   management   development   programs  require  participants  to  mentor  others  as  part  of  the   professional  growth  process.       Both   mentor   and   mentoree   develop   as   a   result   of   the   conversations   you   have.   Your   personal   and   professional   growth  builds  organisational  capability.       Tacit  Knowledge     You   will   tap   into   tacit   knowledge.   That   means,   drawing   out   knowledge,   understanding   and   wisdom   underlying   the  


Why  Mentoring?      15   experience   that   you   and   your   mentoring   partner   have.   For   organisations  this  is  a  vital  hidden  resource.       Many   organisations   employ   mentoring   for   knowledge   management,   recognising   that   the   implicit   knowledge   in   experienced  workers’  heads  is  too  valuable  not  to  pass  on.  For   mentors,   mentoring   is   a   better   way   to   “know   what   you   know”.   Sharing   knowledge   with   someone   else   deepens   your   understanding   and   appreciation   of   your   own   expertise.   Mentorees  learn  why,  as  well  as  how  certain  actions  produce   outcomes.   Questions   help   you   re-­‐examine   and   perhaps   change  what  you  know.     Well-­‐being     A   lot   more   attention   is   being   paid   to   well   being   at   work   and   people   are   much   more   aware   of   the   importance   of   relationships   and   communication   in   reducing   stress.   Neuroscience   is   identifying   ways   to   create   and   strengthen   neural   pathways   and   stimulate   growth   in   parts   of   the   brain   vital  to  mental  health.  It  has  been  shown  that  the  act  of  giving   (or  even  observing  someone  give,  or  help  another)  stimulates   areas   of   the   brain   that   release   the   feel-­‐good   chemical,   dopamine.     Mentoring  does  more  than  make  people  feel  good.  It  provides   timeout  for  thinking  and  reflecting.  It  encourages  creative  and   critical   thinking,   goal   setting   and   planning.   You   learn   to   be   present,   to   listen   consciously,   to   ask   good   questions,   all   attributes   that   can   improve   the   quality   of   your   life.   Connecting,   building   relationships   as   well   as   the   thought  


process   used   in   mentoring,   contribute   your   well   being.   This   can  add  to  organisational  productivity.       Perspective     Developing   a   relationship   with   someone   you   might   not   otherwise   meet,   someone   older   or   younger,   from   another   part  of  the  organisation  or  in  some  other  way  different  from   you,   expands   your   perspective.   Scientific   research   is   now   showing  that  difference,  dissent  and  discordant  ideas  actually   make   us   smarter.   By   listening   to   someone   else,   you   will   gain   new   perspective.   Seeing   more   than   one   point   of   view   increases  the  intelligence  you  bring  to  any  situation.       Mentoring   builds   the   confidence   to   acknowledge   differences   and   respectfully   disagree.     It   reduces   resistance   and   defensiveness   and   allows   you   to   explore   ideas   dissimilar   to   your   own.   This   can   produce   more   harmony,   creativity   and   productivity.    

 


Why  Mentoring?      17   Activity:  What  Do  You  Want  From  Mentoring?     Tick  any  that  apply  to  you  and  add  your  own  ideas.     Mentorees     ❒    Discover  and  develop  your  talents  and  skills   ❒    Discuss  your  career  aspirations  and  options   ❒    Set  goals  and  strategies  for  achieving  them   ❒    Receive  feedback  on  your  ideas   ❒    Receive  encouragement  and  support     ❒    Tap  into  informal  communication  channels   ❒    Learn  the  “unwritten  rules”   ❒    Gain  a  new  or  different  perspective   ❒    Identify  strengths  and  explore  potential   ❒    Raise  your  profile  within,  or  outside  of,  your  organisation   ❒    Be  challenged,  use  talents  and  share  expertise   ❒    Network  and  expand  contacts   ❒    Receive  support  during  a  transition  phase   ❒   Personal  effectiveness,  prioritising  and  time  management   ❒   Learn  new  skills  and  extend  knowledge  and  ability   ❒   Access  role  models   ❒   Get  a  more  strategic  view  of  the  organisation   ❒   Develop  better  balance  of  work  and  personal  life   ❒   Prepare  job  applications  and  interview  skills   ❒   Complete  a  course  of  study   ❒   Access  a  variety  of  resources   ❒   Discuss  work  issues   ❒   Develop  your  leadership  capability   ❒   Enter  a  new  environment      


Mentors     This   list   includes   the   altruistic   motivators   as   well   as   other   reasons  cited  by  mentors.     ❒    Provide  encouragement  and  support  to  others   ❒    Help  them  discover  and  develop  their  talents  and  skills   ❒    Discuss  their  career  aspirations  and  options   ❒    Give  support  during  a  transition  phase   ❒    Contribute  to  the  leadership  capability  of  others   ❒    Give  a  more  strategic  view  of  the  organisation     ❒    Act  as  a  positive  role  model   ❒    Help  build  your  organisation  or  profession   ❒    To  give  something  back   ❒    Be  challenged,  use  your  talents  and  share  expertise   ❒    Gain  a  new  or  different  perspective   ❒    Get  a  better  understanding  of  younger  people,  women  or   different  cultural  groups  in  your  workplace   ❒    Network  and  expand  your  contacts   ❒   Develop  your  own  leadership  capability   ❒   Learn  new  skills  that  extend  your  knowledge  and  ability   ❒   Reflect  on  your  own  career  path   ❒   Learn  about  a  different  part  of  the  organisation   ❒   See  your  workplace  from  a  newcomer’s  point  of  view   ❒   Personal  satisfaction   ❒    Refresh  your  thinking  and  attitudes   ❒    Learn  about  technology  from  a  digital  native   ❒    Supercharge  your  communication  skills   ❒    Take  time  out  for  meaningful  conversations   ❒    Be  stimulated  by  energy  and  enthusiasm   ❒    Stretch  your  mind.  Be  inspired  

 

 



Mentoring: Mindset, Skills and Tools