She Said, She Said
(DeStefano/Grajkowski, July '08)
3
Ask Questions like you really want to know • •
Open-ended Questions Clarifying Questions
Reflect information and opinions that the other is sharing Focus on the moment and the information--save the emotional reaction for an appropriate time She said, she said...Who knew there really was lemonade to be made here!!! (and we're still not making fun of Michelle...what's up with that ;O)
4.
Setting and maintaining boundaries Positive communication is a process, not a single event. Communicating is relating, and any work you put into building your relationships pays off when a challenging issues needs to be discussed. Communicate and negotiate expectations and limits Set a precedent for constructively confronting small issues, BEFORE the big one hits Know your emotional self •
Anticipate your triggers and share them when appropriate For example, one of my pet peeves is being manipulated...
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Understand your instinctive reactions For example, I see red when I think I'm being manipulated, and my first instinct is to laugh in the person's face, right before I tell her where she and her face can go jump ;o)...
Plan how to keep your reaction constructive within the relationship For example, when I feel like I'm being manipulated, I've learned not to immediately react. I force myself to walk away and think, or vent into an email and then save it as a draft before sending. I come back 24 hours later and reevaluate before laughing in her face and shoving her off the peer sharing my concerns. WWW.ANNAWRITES.COM
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