LJuneast issue September was the first print issue of Angelic. This marks the tenth consecutive month we’ve
produced an issue and what I’ve learned in these last ten months is that God is with me in my own personal journey with the magazine, but this journey won’t always be easy. Prior to the initial September issue being released, what people didn’t see was that first issue was finished on a laptop in a parking lot outside of a Starbucks in Carlsbad, CA. My wi-fi at home was shut-off and I didn’t have the money to buy a venti or whatever size drink they have, so I sat in my car and tapped into the wi-fi signal at Starbucks. The first issue and layout design of Angelic Magazine was finished not in a fancy office or picture perfect building, it was finished in a parking lot in the north San Diego summer humidity as I sat in my car with the windows rolled down. Why do I disclose this? Transparency is the only way Jesus will be shown. As the editor of the magazine, I don’t have every area of my life figured out. I don’t have my financial life figured out, my romantic life figured out or my future figured out, but what I do have figured out is that without Jesus I would give up on life.
No matter what personal struggles may cross my path or the magazines path as the months go by, Angelic Magazine will put out an issue each month so that hopefully whoever reads it might learn to lean on and trust in Jesus too. I sometimes get caught up in the number of people who are following the magazine or are reading it, but this month I’m reminding myself it’s not about the number of people who find Angelic, it’s about the one. The one person who might read this issue who might need Jesus more than ever in their life. I pray and hope this June 2014 issue blesses and inspires whoever might find it. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Jesus said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
SAN DIEGO. PHOENIX. LAS VEGAS. 2 4 9 10
EDITORS LETTER ARINA BORODINA PHOTOGRAPHER SPOTLIGHT ANGELIC FAITH: HE MAKES MY PATHS STRAIGHT JENAE NOONAN TESTIMONY INFO@ANGELICMAG. COM @ANGELICMAGAZINE WWW. ANGELICMAG. COM
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NICOLE ARNOLD MUSIC SPOTLIGHT ANGELIC EDITORIAL: VULNERABILTY SAMANTHA MOORE TESTIMONY KC LOPEZ: SISTERS
James 1:2-4 "My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials ofany kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing ofyour faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing. "
HOMETOWN: MOSCOW, RUSSIA - CITY LIVING: LAGUNA B EACH, CA - AGE: 30 WWW. ARINABPHOTOGRAPHY. COM
was one of those children who always played alone. Instead of playing tag or hide and seek, I enjoyed testing my senses with the subtle differences in shades of green, bird songs and the contrasting light and shade patterns that I found in the forest behind my house. I loved nature and I found home and peace in it. I always wondered why a leaf looked a certain way, how birds had such diversity in color, or how flowers smelled so wonderful! How is nature so perfectly balanced and organized? I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t born into a Christian family so my mom wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really able to answer those questions for me. During warm summer days in the Russian Village
where I was from, about 10 kilometers south of Moscow, I would spend all my time outside exploring, and it wasn't until years later that I finally found what I had been looking for... God! I was looking for whoever or whatever was responsible for all that beauty that surrounded me. When I was 15 my mom became a believer, and took me to church. At the time I hated the idea of religion and church was never something that interested me. I refused to go many times and eventually she just left me alone. But the following summer my mom bought me a ticket to a Christian summer camp without asking me if I wanted to go and even though I tried my
hardest to get out of it, I loved my mother and ended up going for her. My vision of church camp was a monastery with nuns, a strict military-like schedule, prayers at 5am and fasting. But I found it to be completely the opposite. I was placed in a group of girls of my age, and most of them had not yet found Jesus and those who claimed they had, didn't act religious at all. I began to let my guard down, relax and enjoy the atmosphere of games, swimming, singing, and fun activities. But something strange was going on in my heart. I began to think to myself that the God they all were talking about might be the reason for that perfection I always observed in nature - a beautiful, natural order to life. On almost the very last day of camp we all gathered for our regular worship time and at the end the pastor announced that if anyone would like to except Jesus Christ into their hearts they can stay after worship. I stayed, mostly out of curiosity and listened to the story of how Jesus died for my sins giving me salvation and a way into heaven. We prayed and I did not feel any different after
walking out of the room. However, the next day when I was completely alone in the forest, which our camp was surrounded by and looked at the nature all around me, I finally realized that only Someone perfect could have created this world. Perfection takes time to achieve, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never an accident and only a higher mind can put things in such a perfect order and that was the mind of God! The God who also created me! That moment I accepted God into my heart! As a natural light photographer I thank God for placing me in such a beautiful world and giving me the privilege of capturing life with the unique talent Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s entrusted to me. INSTAGRAM: @ARINABPHOTOG FACEBOOK: ARINA B PHOTOGRAPHY
Pictured below: Arina Borodina
MODEL: INANNA GRIMES - PHOTOGRAPHY: ARINA BORODINA
Are you looking for direction? Are you feeling lost? Trust in God and He will make your path straight. By Sara Sloan had a dream that one evening while driving -Need Provision: Psalm 84:11 “For the LORD on the freeway, I was quickly approaching an God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows interchange. I thought about whether I should favor and honor. No good thing does he get off on the 17, 10 the 101 or 202. withhold from those who walk uprightly. " But nothing seemed to go together. I ended God is the Creator of the Universe and all up picking the route I thought was best, but that is in it. We often fail to realize just how when I started driving on it, I was immediately much God is in control. placed back where I began. He has given direction since the beginning I considered that maybe it was the wrong way of time when He directed the entire earth to after all; I decided to try to merge onto the next form. freeway. Once again, I found myself back where He directed day and night, grass and trees, I started. Frustrated and confused, I tried the last the ocean and waters, animals and people. option I had left. Jesus says, “I am the way, and the truth, While on that route, before my eyes, the and the life. No one comes to the Father roads rapidly became curvy and my car started except through me.” John 14:6 accelerating to the point I felt like I was going God is constantly working in us and is to lose control and go off the edge. This is the working for our good. Charles Spurgeon once moment, in my dream, I cried out to Jesus to said, “Don’t you know that day dawns after help me. night, showers displace drought, and spring “Jesus, I do not know where to go. I need and summer follow winter? Then, have hope! direction.” Right then I woke up. Have you Hope forever, for God will not fail you! ever had an experience similar to this? “See I am doing a new thing! Now it When I woke up, I started to consider how springs up; do you not perceive it? I am symbolic this is to certain seasons in life where making a way in the desert and streams in the we do not know where to go or know what to wasteland” Isaiah 43:19. do. Times we feel stuck. In my dream I kept trying and trying but It is important to remember that God is couldn’t do it on my own. I needed Christ to faithful, sovereign and all powerful. help me. Each time I tried I failed. While reading God’s word we can find It is good to do what Proverbs 3:5-6 says, direction. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean -Need Guidance: Psalm 32:8, “I will instruct not on your own understanding, in all your you and teach you in the way you should go; I ways acknowledge Him and He will make will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” your paths straight.” -Need Hope: Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
By Jenae Noonan
ere’s the funny about God’s timing; everyone always says everything happens for a reason in His timing. I asked myself “Why would a magazine ask for my testimony right in the middle of one of the stormiest seasons of my life?” This baffled me. Did people really want to know how much I was hurting? I was paralyzed with grief and lying in bed for the seventy fifth straight hour, trying to figure out what to write. I’m normally so transparent and open, but where I was now with my testimony wasn’t ideal for this type of magazine. As I was laying there I remembered everything happens in His timing and since this is where I was, I decided to share. My life seemed to be what a lot of girls wanted. I was in magazines, featured on talk shows, fought on TV, modeled and dated the boys in the bands. I was seen as strong, confident and had a smile that could encourage others to be the same. My Facebook timeline was full of people telling me how wonderful I was, how great of a person they felt I was and how beautiful I was. I seemed to have it all but my biggest struggle was that I was beyond lonely. I made really bad relationship choices because I was so lonely, I just thought “well he’s cute and he likes me so it can’t be that bad” only to end up cheated on, broken, beaten down and even more lonely with scars that had tragic stories. I got to a point where I felt dating wasn’t worth it anymore and that God doesn’t want me happy in a relationship. I convinced myself to just try and be happy single. I prayed that He would take my heart and give it to the person He thought it belonged to, the person that would keep it and protect it. With the conscious, sickening decision to give up on dating, I decided to concentrate on fighting.
I had the fight of my career coming up; National TV, magazines, talk shows, everything covering this event. I was one step closer to my dream. One day in practice, I was thrown on my shoulder and ripped the ligaments. I was in tears in the hospital, not so much from the pain of the injury but what the injury meant. I had to pull out of the fight. I sat at home completely broken with no direction. I cried and cried to God why am I here? I felt like God was just stripping me down, taking everything away. A few days after my injury I met this wonderful man (don’t get our hopes up). I walked into a café and saw a light as if God was saying here you go. I sat with him for a few hours and when I left I was so burned by my past I wasn’t going to entertain the idea of another relationship. As I drove off God whispered to give him a chance. Scared out of my mind, I obeyed. I gave him a chance, each conversation got better, each time I saw him God revealed more and more in him the Godly man I had hoped for.
Each time a little more of my walls came down. God gently placed my heart, reluctant to me, in his hands. Unfortunately this man just didn’t feel the same, or wasn’t ready, and chose not to protect my heart or keep it. So this is where I find God’s timing funny. I am asked to write my testimony as I sit here in brokenness. As I sit here with one good arm, unable to live in my dreams with my heart given by God in the hands of someone that didn’t want it. I'm staring at my window hoping God speaks to his heart and he just shows up, but maybe this is why it’s perfect. Maybe there is someone else going through it, maybe it’s to show you you’re not alone.
We may never understand why or what He is doing, the key though is to continue the relationship and know He is love and will work all things out for our benefit. I don’t have direction right now. I am broken (physically and emotionally) and feel like there’s nothing there. I am curious to see where God moves and where God takes me. And my prayer to anyone reading this who is feeling the same, let’s be excited that there is a future. The present may feel dark, but there is hope in a brighter day.
There are God loving Christian women out there that cry every night because we’re so alone. It doesn’t begin to make things easier or lesson the sting. I truly have no idea what God is doing; sometimes I’m very angry with Him, sometimes I’m very hurt by Him, sometimes I think He even hates me, sometimes I feel He likes me broken. But as my mom says "the key is I continue to talk to Him." He has big shoulders and he can bear the weight, let go and let God be God.
Jenae Noonan is currently writing a book with the working title "A Fight For a Good Life". She can be reached at www. jenaenoonan. com
By Nicole Arnold
M y father is a pastor and has been for the past 13 years.
Throughout my journey as a pastor’s daughter I have witnessed a vast amount of incredible events. My favorite part of being in the position that I am, is that I have seen so many lives transformed and given fresh meaning because of the saving power of Jesus Christ. Many of our saints came from situations of abuse, neglect, torment, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, federal prison and other various types of bondage. Yet, I find the most joy in viewing the process God has established and watching as He turns shattered lives into something beautiful and valuable. This past year I have become a Praise and Worship leader. For years I have felt that music is one of my callings and have always had a desire to pursue it in some way. What I often find is that the days when I lead well are the days when I am completely influenced by His spirit and His direction. This past November I decided to start writing my blog, Nikki Marie. Initially, my blog was going to be a fashion blog, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to be writing about something more.
"Jesus influences me to truly be a world changer and represent Him in everything I do. Music influences me to pour my heart out into something that I love and am passionate about. Fashion influences me in the sense that you are portrayed initially by your appearance and I want to always convey myselfas modest, fashionable and classy. "
So I decided to simply pour my heart out, insecurities and all onto a web page that everyone and their mother could read. The thought was frightening, yet I felt that what I was writing was important if it just touched one person. I would be a fool to say that I simply came up with my blog post topics. God has laid each and every topic on my heart and has influenced the writing of each individual post. Although putting myself out there was nerve wrecking to say the least, I have had so many people contact me about my post: Inadequacy. I have learned through this experience that sometimes you have to put yourself out there
and be vulnerable in order for Jesus to truly touch someone’s heart and change a life. I have learned that sometimes Jesus uses our shortcomings, our insecurities and our mistakes to give hope to those who feel hopeless. A few weeks after I began blogging, I was asked to teach our junior. high age youth class. Initially, I was scared to death and convinced myself that I could never get over my fear of public speaking. However, four months later, I can honestly tell you that teaching youth class has become one of the most enriching experiences of my life. I have had the privilege to mentor and encourage some of the young girls in my class and show them just how incredible they truly are, and how Jesus wants to use them despite all of their doubts. Never discount the gifts that Jesus Christ has given you, because those gifts and talents were meant to serve His purpose and can truly change the world. YOU CAN READ NICOLE'S BLOG AT NIKKIMARIE1. BLOGSPOT. COM
By Savannah Corcoran All my life I didn’t feel good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, or worthy enough to be fully loved. I was always trying to measure up to be this perfect person that had it all together on the outside. I put so much pressure on myself to be able to handle everything so that I wouldn’t have to depend on anyone else because that would make me weak and vulnerable. I realized that even the word vulnerability made me cringe with anxiety because it felt uncomfortable, like the ugliest parts of myself were exposed for everyone to see. I did a lot of exploring on vulnerability and the beauty it can have when used appropriately. I was recently talking with a close friend and she said that “you don't always need to have a deep connection with people, you can be authentic with them but you don’t have to be vulnerable.” She continued to explain that she views different relationships in tiers of openness of authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability. Authenticity is what you share with everyday people you come into contact with that you know and you are real with them but maybe don’t actually tell them details of your life. Transparency is with the friends that you would talk about life with and go deeper with. Lastly, true vulnerability is probably shown with the people you share the deepest things with like your absolute best friend, spouse, and mentor. I knew that being vulnerable was scary for me once I went through pre-marital counseling with my husband because it brought up a lot of tough topics where you become vulnerable in. Now that I am married I realized that you
can't run or hide from vulnerability because they see you at your complete worst and at your best and they choose to love you anyway for it. This really made me think of Jesus because I think I tend to forget that He is with me in all aspects of my day and knows my heart more than anyone else. I fully believe that there is nothing I can do to make the Lord love me anymore or any less but He will always love me with his whole heart exactly the way I am in all my brokenness. We all have our struggles and all have ugly parts of ourselves that the Lord is going to redeem and restore back to the way He intended it to be someday. Until that day comes I think the best way we can love each other is to boldly walk through the hardest of struggles in life together. I think vulnerability means being able to trust someone enough to see the depths of our soul. I have noticed when someone shares their heart with me that there is just something so life giving about being beautifully broken that bonds us to each other because we all have struggles. I think those who are truly strong aren’t the people who try to act like their lives are perfect but the people that admit that they have problems and that they are allowing the Lord to work on their heart. We are all imperfect and will no doubt have trials to walk through but we are all worthy of love. It is a struggle every day for me to feel good enough or worthy of love but the Lord is teaching me over and over again that I am worthy because Jesus died for me exactly the way I am and He did the same for you!
M y name is Samantha Moore and I was born in the Dominican Republic. When I
turned nine years old my mother, brother and I moved to Seattle, WA. I wasn’t raised a Christian but I did know about God. For a long time I was afraid of opening the bible and especially the book of Revelations. As a teenager I was a rebel, I was “living” but lost, doing things that were wrong and didn’t feel right, skipping school and doing all of the things that a regular rebel teen would do. Later in my teens, 16 years old to be more specific, I started attending a Spiritual Living Church which felt right at the time. I met
people, which lead me to “The Secret” kind of mindset. Which was wishing things could be possible and it would appear. For example, if I concentrate enough and imagined I had a mansion, eventually it would happen. I was living a life of wishing and hoping with no results. It then later led me to running away from home and as a result of that I ended up at a school out of state. That’s when I met my husband to be. To cut the story short, we fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after. Okay that’s not what happened, the truth is I got pregnant at age 17. I met my in-laws to
to be and ended up at a Christian church where I got baptized. We got pushed and scared into getting married, which lead us away from the church. A few years went by and we got married and ended up in Germany with the Army. So there I was a 20 year old girl without family or friends in the small town of Bamberg, Germany. Living off the military base was pretty scary and lonely. I had made a friend but she was living in the base, so I was at home with a 1 year old in a new country, with a new language and no driver’s license. My days were long and it was nice at first taking walks, meeting neighbors and learning a few German words. Now this were my testimony really comes in. It hit me, anxiety it is. I felt out of control, like my mind would take me 100 miles per hour and I couldn’t stop it. The first time it happened I thought I was going to go crazy and end up at the hospital. The thought of being in a foreign hospital
gave me more anxiety, so I went to the clinic on base and I got prescribed medication as well as a therapist. But it just didn’t feel right. To tell you the truth, my anxiety ended up being so high to the point of my thoughts telling me to jump out of my balcony. Whoa I just said that! It was then at my lowest that I looked out the window and saw a cross in the sky, it was a sign from Him, from Jesus. I attended the church in the military base and found truth, trust, guidance and God’s promises for my life. I was reborn; a new person was inside of me. One that sees beauty in the ugly, truth in a lie and hope in the future. Since then I had my second baby and my family and I now live in Arizona. I live my life no longer chained to my doubts. I know that each day I wake there is a purpose in it. I am not a religion follower but a Jesus follower, the one who caught me when I was falling.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY SAMANTHA MOORE - MODEL: ALEXIS HERMOSILLO MAKEUP: MORGAN TERESA - LOCATION: PHOENIX, AZ
MODEL: KC LOPEZ - PHOTOGRAPHER: OTILIA CEH - HAIR: JESSICA GHETES CLOTHING: PINK HOUSE BOUTIQUE
KC Lopez has Mosaic Down Syndrome and she shares a unique love and bond with her 11 year old little sister Sylvia. In Sylvia's own words, she shares why her big sister KC means so much to her.
By Sylvia Lopez KC is an amazing 20 year old young woman. She is a wonderful big sister that I am so lucky to
have. I really don’t know what I ever did to deserve her thoughtfulness or the fact that she is always looking out for me. She is a gift to the whole world, I think. Her faith in God is so strong, and her relationship with him is so great it’s hard to explain. She graduated high school and is on her way to work with kids. Her Mosaic Down Syndrome never stopped her from doing something she wanted to do. Nothing ever did. Nothing ever will. She never gave up. She won’t ever give up. She has the biggest heart, is always willing to help and has been the best sister I could ever ask for. I love her for everything she has done for me, including loving me back with that magical big sisterly love that she has for me. KC was born with Mosaic Down Syndrome. That makes her special, and a little bit different. It makes her amazing. Considering she has gotten a job, learned how to cook simple but delicious meals (which goes double
for her desserts), graduated high school and will get a job working with kids, she has done just about everything her doctors said she wouldn’t. She has dealt with bullies over the years. Little did the bullies know that they were strengthening her faith in God and God has helped her forgive them. She forgives everybody now, knowing that they could be going through something hard. She has a family that will support her in everything she does, especially me. She is limitless, especially her generosity. She tries hard and succeeds often. Her faith in God has helped her and me. She always prays for me when I tell her about something that happens at school. And her generosity isn’t just at home. My sister is amazing. KC is generous, caring, and overall brilliant. She is my role model and my shoulder to cry on. I couldn’t ask for a more loving sister or a better friend. She is the most wonderful person and I feel like she makes the world a better place.