ABBI MILES SINGER - SCOTTSDALE, AZ
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B Y ABBI MILES was never serious about Jesus when I was young. I knew who He was, and I believed in Him, but I didn’t understand what that meant in my life. I grew up living a charmed life; I had extremely loving parents and two sisters and a brother who I got along with famously. I was naturally talented in both dance and singing, and I had dreams of making a career out of my talents. During my freshman year of high school, my brother decided to truly follow Jesus. He tried to introduce me to the new life he was experiencing, but, me being the head strong and stubborn teenager I was, I would run further and further away from the life he tried to introduce to me. I was a senior in high school when I became a Christian. I was in the midst of a relationship with my “first love” who did not share the same Christian values that I did; however, I did not see an issue with this. I did everything a new Christian was “supposed” to do. I was ridiculously on fire for God, and I let everyone know how different I was compared to my old self—or so I thought. My young Christian self was a prude, she was quick to judge, and she was the complete opposite from the “good girl by day, party girl by night” complex I had. It was now June of 2011, and I had just graduated high school. I was still dating the same boyfriend, believing in false truths, and justifying my actions. I had been trying to control everything around me, but I felt a storm coming. I had uneasiness in my stomach that no amount of prayer could shake, and it was definitely the Holy Spirit urging me to open my eyes to the lies I was living. I woke up one morning to a message from a stranger on Facebook telling me there was something I needed to see. It was a link to a popular website that was full of every intimate photo I had shared with my boyfriend. My stomach sank, I started crying, and then the phone calls started flooding in. It was public
"IT WAS PUBLIC HUMILIATION IN ITS PURIST FORM. I WAS SELF-CONSCIOUS, I FELT LIKE I COULDN’T LEAVE MY HOUSE WITHOUT BEING STARED AT"
humiliation in its purist form. I was self-conscious, I felt like I couldn’t leave my house without being stared at, I lost a majority of my friends, and, the worst part was, I had no idea who had done this to me. People told me my life had been ruined, that I did this to myself. Every ounce of drive I had to become a singer or successful at anything started fading away and I didn’t want my name to be known. The identity of being the girl on the website had consumed my life. After several weeks, the eye of the storm had passed, and it was time for me to move away for college with the chance to start over. I made a new group of friends, I was single, and I went back to my party girl life. Thankfully, my brother swooped in and introduced me to a church. I started attending, got plugged into a community, and slowly started letting Jesus in again. It felt amazing discovering He had never really left. My friend network started growing, and I was feeling on top of the world—until people started finding my pictures and the memories returned. But, this time was different. I realized I was far more scarred from the experience than I had even known, but I now knew I had Jesus to lean on. He led me to reach out to people for love and support, and He introduced me to my mentor. She and I started meeting and I started healing. We studied the Bible together, and my passion for singing started translating into me connecting with Jesus on a new level. I understood where my identity was as a child of God and why I had been through what I had been through. It allowed me to see people through eyes of grace and to comfort others who have experienced similar brokenness. I now had strength to show others love and truth.