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May 21, 2011

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS"

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French a Constant Threat to Early Spanish it evident to our captain-general, a man of arms, that

Pedro Menendez' difficulties with the French did not begin or end with his capture of their Fort Caroline and massacre of surviving soldiers in September, 1565. Two years after that Spanish victory, a French nobleman took revenge by retaking the seized fort. But even before the Spanish admiral arrived to found St. Augustine September 8, 1565, the French were a constant threat. Father Francisco Lopez, principal priest with Pedro Menendez de AvilĂŠs on his voyage to Florida June 28 August 28, 1565, recounted in his memoir the capture of a Spanish caravel which carried "a great many sealed dispatches concerning arrangements to be made, and a great many valuable objects. "The enemy boarded her, possessed themselves of all her papers, read the plans for the conquest of Florida, took off all the other things they saw fit to take, and then told the ship's company to go as fast as they could to St. Domingo to notify their countrymen. "This fact, joined to the reflection that our fleet was much injured by the storm, and that of the ten vessels which left Cadiz only four remained, all this made

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the French would likely be waiting for him near the harbors a little farther on, and precisely on our route to Florida. "The general decided to take a northerly course, and pursue a new route, through the Bahama Channel, leaving the enemy to the windward. "Following this dangerous navigation, the Lord permitted the admiral to arrive safely in port on Sunday, the 20th of August. We saw two islands, called the Bahama Islands. The shoals which lie between them are so extensive that the billows are felt far out at sea. "The ship purchased at Porto Rico got aground that day in two and a half fathoms of water. Our galley, one of the best ships afloat, found herself all day in the same position, when suddenly her keel struck three times violently against the bottom. "The sailors gave themselves up for lost, but, as we had a mission to fulfill for Jesus Christ and His blessed mother, two heavy waves, which struck her abaft, set her afloat again, and soon after we found her in deep water. At midnight we entered the Bahama Channel." Historic St. Augustine highlights are featured in The St. Augustine Report, a free weekly e-newsletter on current city affairs by former Mayor George Gardner. To subscribe to the Report, or to order his St. Augustine Bedtime Stories on famous people and events in St. Augustine's history, email gardner@aug.com.

In the Band

I was in the band at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota. Our group was required to play for all generals who arrived on our base. One morning, when our commanding officer heard on the radio that a General Frost was expected just after noon, he sent us scrambling to the flight line with instruments. One of the musicians had also heard the radio announcement. He took the C.O. aside for a whispered conference. When they returned, the officer told us the performance was canceled. There was no arriving general. We had almost played for the weather forecast.

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ANCIENT CITY POST

Calendar of Events

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS" Music By The Sea Concert Series Calendar of Events St. Augustine beach Pavillion A Classic Theatre presents A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine Beach "THE DAY THEY SHOT JOHN Bring your chair and enjoy a live musical performance LENNON" by Amy Alysia & the Soul Operation, a R/B Motown Band

Gamache-Koger Theater 50 Sevilla Street, Historic St. Augustine. The long-awaited production of "The Day They Shot John Lennon" by James McLure. Playwright McLure has created a colorful, highly imaginative collection of characters as he constructs the emotional reactions of randomly chosen groups of people who feel compelled to gather at the place where John Lennon was murdered. Thur, Fri and Sat, May 19th, 20th, 21st and 26th, 27th, 28th 7:30pm Cost: $20/$18 Sen/$10 Students jtrahner@gmail.com 904-829-5807

Riding Into History Motorcycle Concours D'elegance World Golf Village, I95 Exit 323, St. Augustine For the 12th straight year, Riding Into History, one of America's premier motorcycle events, will return to the World Golf Village. On Friday May 20, at 10 a.m. there will be a Grand Marshall Historic Ride lead by National Champion Racer and Motorcycle Hall of Famer, Kevin Scwantz. That evening the Grand Marshal Dinner is at 6:30 pm at The Legends Grill at the World Golf Village. Then on Saturday the gates to the Concours d'Elegance open at 10 a.m. The event will feature classic American motorcycles show featuring hundreds of motorcycles along the Village's Walk of Champions, vendors, exhibitors and entertainment. Fri, May 20th,10 am & 6:30pm Sat, May 21st, 10am-4pm Cost: $15-Rider/$5 Pass www.ridingintohistory.org 904-677-9670

at the beach. The concert features dinner from SeaFood Kitchen, and are available for under $10. Wed, May. 25th, 7pm-9pm Cost: Free www.staugbchcivicassoc.com 904.347.8007

2nd Annual Environmental Educational Fair & Kids Ocean Day Marineland Beach Two days of fun and education with workshops, activities, exhibits, vendors, andentertainment Food available onsite for a nominal charge. Book Signing - Environmental authors 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. and 7 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Fri, May 20th, 9:30 am-1:30 pm, Sat May 21st, 10am-3pm Cost: Free www.scenica1a.org

Los Presidiales De San Agustín At Fort Mose 15 Fort Mose Trail Members of Los Presidiales de San Agustín present 18th-century, historical interpretation from 10AM to 2PM at Fort Mose Historic State Park Sat May 28, 10am to 2pm http://www.floridastateparks.org/fortmose

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Arti Gras at the Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach! 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach Enjoy unique entertainment including an illusionist, palm readers, caricaturist, and unique moving sculptures performed by Ponte Vedra Ballet. View art exhibits and mask centerpieces made by art students and instructors. Sat, May 21st, 7pm Cost: $75/$100 Non-Members 904.280.0614x205 www.ccpvb.org

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

Ancient City Post Jerry Kollar, Publisher 62 Hypolita • St. Augustine, FL 32084 (904) 347-2391 • Sales@AncientCityPost.com PAGE 2

(Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable. Accuracy however cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories and jokes appearing here are intended for entertainment purposes only and are not meant to disrespect or harm any group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to be considered as an endorsement or validation by Ancient City Post for products or services offered. No advertiser is guaranteed exclusivity.)

When you advertise, your ad also appears on-line at www.AncientCityPost.com


ANCIENT CITY POST

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS" St. Augustine Air Show

Uptown Saturday Night

2 Eggs with Bacon or Sausage Patty, Home Fries or Grits, White or Wheat

Served Mon-Fri 6am-11am Sat & Sun 6am-1pm Coupon Required at time of Purchase - Not valid with any other offer

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Of equal or lesser value with the purchase of any regular price entree and two drinks. Offer Excludes $2.99 Breakfast & $4.99 Lunch Specials Expires 6/30/2011

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Three Old Men

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. 'I would like my grandchildren to say, 'He was successful in business' , declared the first man. 'Fifty years from now, 'said the second, 'I want them to say, 'He was a loyal family man' . Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, 'So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?' 'Me?' the third man replied. 'I want them all to say, 'He certainly looks good for his age!'

San Marco Ave between Ripley's Believe It or Not and Mission of Nombre de Dios Uptown San Marco Shopping District, St. Augustine host artists, book signings, live music, refreshments and other events contribute to the party-like atmosphere. Great Cheese Sat, May 28th, 5pm to 9pm Cost: Free A customer in the Italian restaurant was so 904.823.9263 pleased with his meal that he asked to speak to the

Memorial Day Summer Concerts In The Plaza Plaza de la Constitucion This exciting performance by the St. Augustine Jazz Society takes place in St. Augustine's historic Plaza de la Constitucion. Get comfortable by bringing a lawn chair or blanket. Mon, May 30th, 1pm-5pm Cost: Free www.plazaconcerts.com 904.825.1004

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

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chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!"

Math Class

The test I gave my math class covered everything we'd studied all year -- fractions, percentages and portions of whole units. But maybe I could have explained things better. To the question "What portion of a foot is six inches?" One student answered, "The toes?"

Must present coupon when ordering. Any purchase $25 or more. Limit 1 coupon per party. Expires 6/30/11 Ancient City Post

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Please say you saw it in the Ancient City Post

PAGE 3

Calendar of Events

Northeast Florida Regional Airport US 1 North St. Augustine The event will honor our military with a special "Salute to Veterans," past and present, and will feature performances by world-renowned aerobatic pilots as well as many outstanding military exhibits and static displays. Watch the spectacular daredevil feats of wing-walker, Teresa Stokes; the elegant aerobatics of Gene Soucy in the ShowCat biplane; new two-ship aerobatic formation jet air show Team MS760 Aerobatics; the only all women skydiving demonstration team in world, The Misty Blues and many other exciting land and air performers. Sat, May 28th – Sun, May 29th Cost: $10/day & $5 Kids 5+ for adults and $5 www.staugustineairshow.net


ANCIENT CITY POST

Calendar of Events

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS" Music By The Sea Concert Series

St. Augustine Beach Pavillion A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine Beach Bring your chair and enjoy a live musical performance by Funk Shui, Classic R&R Band at the beach. The concert features dinner from Barnacle Bill's, and are available for under $10. Wed, Jun 1st, 7pm-9pm Cost: Free www.staugbchcivicassoc.com 904.347.8007

Concerts In The Plaza

Plaza de la Constitucion This exciting performance by the St. Augustine Mid-Life Crisis takes place in St. Augustine's historic Plaza de la Constitucion. Get comfortable by bringing a lawn chair or blanket. Thur, Jun 2nd, 7pm Cost: Free www.plazaconcerts.com 904.825.1004

Art Galleries of St Augustine presents First Friday Artwalk

Self-guided walking tour of numerous art galleries, FREE Artwalk Tour Trains! Fri, Jun 3rd, 5pm to 9pm Cost: Free www.artgalleriesofstaugustine.com 904.829.0065

Anastasia State Park's 19th Annual Beach Bash

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Albert's Leaving Presentation

Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no. So we have clubbed together and bought Albert a dictionary.

Anastasia State Park Scavenger hunt, sandcastle/sculpture contest. Ranger interpretive programs and Bird Walks. Prizes will be awardWhen they discover the center of the universe, a lot ed! $2 for pedestrians and bicyclists of people will be disappointed to discover they are not Sat, Jun 4th, 9am-3pm Cost: $8 per vehicle it. Bernard Bailey for up to 8 people www.floridastateparks.org/anastasia 904.461.2035

Drake's Raid

Downtown St. Augustine Relive history as the English corsair, Sir Francis Drake, and his raiders return to St. Augustine in an authentic recreation of the 1586 sack of the city. Open to the public, the raiders' camp at the Fountain of Youth Park features displays of the arms and armor, craft skills, and lifestyles of the period explained by costumed interpreters. In the late afternoon, Drake and his followers will descend on the city's historic district. Early evening will witness the English attack on the town, the Spanish residents' defense, with pike and musket skirmishes, and the simulated destruction of the town by the invaders. Sat, Jun 4th, 10am-4pm / 7pm Cost: Park Admission/Free www.historicfloridamilitia.org/

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? PAGE 4

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ANCIENT CITY POST

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS"

Do you have an event, a product or a service targeted toward kids and their parents? Fri, May 20 & Sat, May 21 - Environmental Educational If so, call the Ancient City Post at 904-347-2391 Fair & Kids Ocean Day - Marineland Beach Sat, Jun 4 - Anasatasia State Park's 19th Annual Beach Bash or e-mail to sales@AncientCityPost.com - Anastasia Park

Kids Eat Free Every Day 4pm-10pm Expires 6/30/2011•Coupon Required

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the carburettor'. I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the lake'. (Henny Youngman)

Expires 6/30/2011•Coupon Required

Mothers Know All

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that. "Why?" "Because it's been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs." At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, but I said, "Um, it's on the mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a mommy." "Oh." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "I get it!" she beamed. "Then if you flunk, you have to be the daddy, right?"

A Favorite Retirement Joke

A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' Wife: 'How do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone' Please say you saw it in the Ancient City Post

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St. Augustine Kids

Upcoming Kids Events

(for more info see the Calendar of Events throughout the paper)


ANCIENT CITY POST

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS" Mom's Fish

I took my mother on a fishing excursion yesterday. Nobody was catching anything. After drifting for hours without so much as a nibble, who should hook into one but my Mom. Everyone on the boat was excited, cheering the old woman on and telling her to take her time. Finally she lifted the fish into the boat, picked it up, removed the hook, looked at it up and down, and then tossed it back into the water. I was stunned. I said, "Mom, why did you throw that fish back into the water?" "I don't know. To me it just didn't look fresh."

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelery. (Rita Rudner)

Priceless Antique?

ACP Wordsearch

Claire, after retiring from a busy life in business, travels around the country visiting antique shops trying to find bargains. One day she goes to an antique shop in Stratford upon Avon, England. Here, Claire speaks to Victoria, the shop's owner, 'When I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I'd like to buy it.' 'Sorry,' replied Victoria, 'but I can't possibly sell you that.' 'Oh, what a pity, but why not?' inquired Claire. 'Because,' said the owner, 'that's my husband.'

Sudoku

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ANCIENT CITY POST

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS" Black Raven's Crew and Pirate Legends and is forced to sail the ocean for an eternity with its

It is well known fact that there are many pirate legends and fictional stories about pirates and their assumed rages over the seven seas and wherever they stormed ashore. We asked Black Raven's crew if they could tell us something about the most talked about legends. Here are a few of them: 1. Davy Jones's Locker Davy Jones' Locker is an idiom for the bottom of the sea. In fact, it is a sailor's nickname for the devil of the sea and his locker is the ocean bed. Someone who was "sent to Davy Jones's Locker" was someone who had disappeared at sea. The origins of the name are unclear and many theories have been put forth, including incompetent sailors, a pub owner who kidnapped sailors, or that Davy Jones is another name for the devil—as in "Devil Jonah". This nautical superstition was popularized in the 19th century. 2. The Flying Dutchman According to the pirate legend, the Flying Dutchman is a ghost ship that can never return to shore

crew of dead souls. It is said that if hailed by another ship, its crew will try to send messages to land or to people long dead. In ocean lore, the sight of this phantom ship is a portent of doom. 3. The Kraken No sea monster was more terrifying than the Kraken. According to the legend, this multi-tentacled creature could raise itself out of the water, attack a ship and drag it under water, often splitting the vessel in two. 4. Mermaids and Mermen Mermaids had the head and torso of a women and the tail of a fish. They were thought to sing to sailors and lure them to their death, or squeeze the life out of drowning men while they were "rescuing" them. The male equivalent, mermen, had beards, green hair, and trident. They caused storms and attacked ships.

PirateShipBlackRaven.com 877-578-5050 * 904-826-0000 It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. - June Henderson

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PAGE 7


ANCIENT CITY POST

Puzzle Solutions

St Augustine Highlights

Visitor's Guide

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS" Searching for St. Augustine Story

The University of Florida has some 12 colleges of the university "engaged in the St. Augustine program, and a major focus is developing the St. Augustine Story," UF Vice President Ed Poppell says. "Why visitors come here, what they're doing here are questions we want to address for the visitor experience," Poppell said during an annual status report to the city since taking over management last July of 34 state-owned historic properties here. Under the state authorization, the university receives $650,000 annually to apply to more than $20 million in estimated repair costs, but Poppell added that an additional $400,000 has been authorized this year to renovate the Government House museum and create a "First Colony" exhibit. University and city staffs gather monthly, Poppell said, to review plans for the historic properties. "In this first year," he said, "this partnership, these relationships, have been great."

Visitor and new resident quick business and services reference

For Emergencies Dial 911 St. Augustine Police Department St. Augustine Beach Police Department St. Johns County Sheriff's Office St. Augustine Fire Department St. Augustine Historical Society

REPORT Local news in our Nation's Oldest City

Five Centuries of Our Coast

From 1502 to today's satellite imagery, a new St. Augustine Historical Society exhibit traces Five Centuries of Our Coast, documenting the city's history through maps staking territorial claims, telling stories, promoting tourism or aiding navigation. "For 500 years, artists and mapmakers have recorded the coast around St. Augustine," Society Director Susan Parker says. "The site of St. Augustine has, literally, been on the map from the earliest days of European exploration in the Americas. "In fact, St. Augustine is the first U.S. city ever to be mapped." The exhibit is presented daily 9 - 4:30 in the Page Edwards Gallery at the Oldest House Complex. From The St. Augustine Report, a free weekly e-newsletter prepared by former Mayor George Gardner. To subscribe email gardner@aug.com.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? PAGE 8

825-1074 471-3600 824-8304 825-1098 824-2872

Free

THE ST AUGUSTINE

Weekly email newsletter about city affairs and our community

featuring complete City Commission agendas and reports, written by former two-term Mayor George Gardner, and published by the St. Augustine Department of Public Affairs

Foot Soldiers Monument Dedicated

A monument commemorating the Foot Soldiers of St. Augustine's 1960s civil rights movement has been established in the city's Plaza de la Constituci贸n. The $70,000 monument depicts four figures representing the diversity of support for the movement, which led to passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. A citizen St. Augustine Foot Soldiers Remembrance Project labored for six years to raise the funds for the monument, a long-held vision of its president, a veteran of the era, Barbara Vickers.

(904) (904) (904) (904) (904)

subscribe: gardner@aug.com 904-669-1348

A Management Position

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson -- To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Wordsearch Courtesy of:

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ANCIENT CITY POST

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS"

Please say you saw it in the Ancient City Post

PAGE 9


ANCIENT CITY POST

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS" Music By The Sea Concert Series For Rent Real Estate

St. Augustine beach Pavillion A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine Beach Bring your chair and enjoy a live musical performance by Bush Doctors, Regae / R&R at the beach. The concert features dinner from Amici's Italian estaurant, and are available for under $10. Wed, Jun 8th, 7pm-9pm Cost: Free Boutique, Resale, Thrift www.staugbchcivicassoc.com 904.347.8007

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2011 Fountain Mercury King Buster 400 St. Augustine Municipal Marina Premiere Southern Kingfish competition of the year with over $175,000 in cash and prizes! The tournaments kicks off with a children's fishing outing from the St.Augustine Municipal Marina. The King Buster is a 400 is limited to 400 boats. There are captains' meetings on Thursday at 4p.m. and 8p.m. Fishing days are Friday and Saturday. There will be a party with live music Friday from 5:30 to 9p.m. and prizes will be awarded Saturday evening. Thur, Jun 9th to Sun, Jun 12th Cost: $449.50 www.kingbuster400.com

Concerts In The Plaza

Plaza de la Constitucion This exciting performance by the St. Augustine Big Pineapple takes place in St. Augustine's historic Plaza de la Constitucion. Get comfortable by bringing a lawn chair or blanket. Thur, Jun 9th, 7pm Cost: Free www.plazaconcerts.com 904.825.1004 904.992.9600

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Hot Fudge?

What is This?

I went into the Ice Cream shop the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge. The clerk behind the counter replied, "Sorry. The hot fudge only comes It's called a QR (Quick Response) Code and in one temperature." you can read it with your phone! Why is the time of day To see how it works, with the slowest traffic scan it now. called rush hour? Looking to buy, sell or make an announcement? • Standard type: $1/line • Bold type: $2/line

To place an ad with your own scanable QR code

call Jerry 904-347-2391

PAGE 10

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ANCIENT CITY POST

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Please say you saw it in the Ancient City Post

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ANCIENT CITY POST

"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS"

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http://ancientcitypost.com/archive/5-21-11.pdf

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