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La La Land

2011 Š Jillian Kay FitzMaurice

Bling Bling High Jump Hot at Night 4:35 am Luke La La Land Three Horned Consequence Backwards Yard Three Dogs

Bling Bling

everything about her was frills and bling bling she danced on her tippy toes made my heart sing she pulled some strings she made some promises she dealt the cards and danced on top of them on the deck she spun when the sun went down she rose drew me the jack of hearts the queen of diamonds she was black and red nothing else was said to the point she rocked this joint puff puff pass she finished last I wasn’t done with her

Another game? she wanted to play diamonds for hearts So she jerked off her necklace and I reached under my ribs a red mess glittered We flipped the squares through straights and pairs She won and soon my heart was around her throat I got dizzy on tequila and blood loss but a bet’s a bet, I know no regret all I know is mami you look fly today and I want that treasure around your neck to sway when you dance with me.

High Jump

One of my favorite things is jumping off cliffs there is beauty in indecision, unlimited possibility and the assurance of a certain conclusion.

Hot at Night call off this car pool cuz we ain’t goin home the moon is full split in two big yellow eyes and they’re jonsin’ for you Besides, How could you resist? Mr. Sky, the charmer, in midnight blue finely dressed but a speckled mess dotted with diamonds which come and go making wishes inspiring first kisses and all that you know

in this blue dark it’s a sticky hot mess white linen pockets and a lack of distress

it’s now daylights coming to chase it away tick tock and off we go get to sleep before the sun comes home cuz I’ll put money on the bigger half of a wishin’ chicken bone that you wont feel this good when you face that big ol’ yellow ball alone! but she wont mind if you drink her like a glass of lemonade sugar grit teeth and rich sweet sweat beads in a little while Miss Sun will go we’ll see her pink panties when she’s bent over the earth wakin’ up two moons.

i. There’s no light in here except clock faces eagerly flashing not from lightning from laziness and a lack of caring an embrace of the unknown! the crisp before dawn is troubling when your alone it’s no one land it’s an empty place there’s no friends here those old men and other restless souls in other places not unlike your own


:35 AM ii. I wish I was in a nightmare! I’d love to be there my skin peeled off by monsters rabid dogs at my ankles someone is always behind you Less than rested everything you should have done just spins occupying the time and killing sheep I had no idea how I’ll carve the numbers into their fur red numbers like flashing 00:00’s


I’d love to put your head in a burlap bag watch the fiber turn red then reach my arm far backwards and catapult your every thought into that river you’d bobble along in that burlap bag I’d stand on the banks of that river warm and perfect incredibly beautiful in that red cashmere sweater

la lA land They don’t take reality checks in La La Land Only purple poodles and colored beads in a can The sun sets the dinner table and the night falls in a drunken stupor trying to count the spinning stars pass the jeggly-jug! filled with spider brains, deer blood, fermented biggle bombs and pear’s feet toss that sacred sludge and lets get on with it! Here the girls grow red petals out of their fingers They really are as pretty as roses That rapping at your window is the boogie man and those tree branches are his fingers

WATCH out there are snakes in the grass and ants in your pants the only way to get rid of them is to continue to dance Watch your back cuz it’s comin and whatever it is you will want some more of it The morning glory will tell you the story of everything you did not remember and the blue birds that rise with the sun in the morning will tell you the only sin is mortality

Three Horned Consequence

I stuck three thorns in the side of that big old pig A brass horn by my side to honor the dead In fear of what I’d done all I did was run and run and run Three miles later I played the pig a love song Begging he’d forgive me Seven miles later my feet had needles in them my eyes were crusted dust Certain I was polished off I knew I must face what I had done BUT Just a moment later blurry I saw Heaven It was a neon pink sign above a white door I was saved frantically I turned the key and snapped off its head the door disappeared and my fate was made clear before my feet lay a belly up pig half bone with three thorns in his side

Backwards yard I’m lost for words I’m hidden for sound I’m walking on fence posts to avoid the ground I’ll never be there to touch bare earth between my toes I’m far to afraid of the truth and the worms like light at midnight I’ll never find home big blue silence I hear dogs cry and I moan a spell of wrongs and a wish of rights take me home quite midnight I am home quite midnight

Three Dogs

Three dogs came home last night shivering scared wet an awful sight I stood inside the frame of my door picturesque scene warm yellow light three dogs out shakin’ in the blue storm I looked at my hounds upright hairs on their necks ears pinned to their throats shakin’ in their wet coats what has got you this way?

The first dog’s name was Black the Labrador leader of this particular pack Well Ma you wont believe what I saw it was shriveled ugly thing with a broken jaw, with ice white skin and bloody knees, the nastiest damn thing I’d ever seen! eyes big black balls and hair like weeds chipped up fingernails two scars on its forehead and holes in the palms of its hands I was skeptical now of ol’ Black’s great tale How’d he see this monster so well? It’s pouring rain! The hound’s insane! Bloody knees? broken jaws? and holes in its hands? Tall as his tale was I was intrigued This monster sounded strange and it sounded mean I asked the next dog about the shriveled white fiend with bloody knees

This little pup was Jabber A good dog but quite a panicker Jabber be startled by everything a little blue bird, the sun too high, or grass too green He was shakin’ the most out of the three Well I…. uah… I KNOW What I saw! And that thing was mean… a nasty white thing with bloody knees! Big Black barked O hush now Jabber! You didn’t see nothing You took straight off running before we even seen the damn thing comin! That pup Jabber had no reply just sat in the wet rain dirt and lie I couldn’t tell you if it was fear or the wet cold but I was shakin now in my bones my skin felt ailing a white covering I had big ol’ frightened eyes I buckled and felt weak I hit the ground and my knees started to bleed

I looked at the last dog

He was a quiet one His name was Truth His eyes were black the kind of black that went so far back far beyond his skull I looked at him now wonderin’ Why these three ol’ dogs are shakin’ in their suits What’s wrong ol’ dog! What’d you see! Well ma, we saw a shriveled white thing lookin’ real beat up n’ mean Truth just sat there I could barely look him in the eyes I lowered my head to my hands to cry and saw straight through them my tears fell through the holes into mud Look at your knees ma I looked down at my knees red and bone you don’t look so good ma Old Truth said I knew he wasn’t lyin’ and I knew I wasn’t dead I trusted my old dog and he was the only one

A monster I was


Jillian Kay's chapbook.

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