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Some children will see the violence and go on to be abusers themselves because they suffer from anger management issues and they have a mentality in which they think, I'll hurt them before they hurt me. Some children will decide never to have a relationship or children. Some children will bounce from one abusive relationship to another. Whatever the outcome these behaviours are destructive on the next generation. In you r opin ion , can an alysin g ch ild abu se t h r ou gh a gen der len s h elp alleviat e t h e issu e? Wh y or w h y n ot ? Yes, I think that looking through a gender lens is very helpful, and I will explain some of my reasons why. I am not an academic expert in gender issues or childhood abuse so cannot speak about any theories, but I can from my own personal experiences. I have always felt that the man of the house has always had the power and control. And whatever they say goes whether it be right or wrong. Growing up my mum was always subservient to her two husbands, but I came to realise only to a point! My mum left my dad in 1977 because he beat her up and was having affairs. Her second husband was a lazy man and a violent drunk. He always wanted the benefits money, but mum would make sure she did the shopping and put a few pounds aside for extras for us when needed before he could get his hands on the money. She always said this is our little secret, don?t tell your dad, what he doesn?t know about won't hurt him. Therefore, she was in control in one respect but on the other hand she was fearful of him.

When he left the house, there was always a sigh of relief. But we all knew that when he came home that all hell would break lose. Mum would say "let?s just do these chores get the dinner on the table to keep him happy" But we all knew that once he came back drunk that nothing would appease him or make him happy. He would find a reason for that not to happen so that he could kick off. In the work place I was also bullied. I was a Financial Controller for an upcoming company. The Finance Director, the Operational Director and the CEO were all men. They wanted me to make our accounts look better than what they were. I refused. My life was made very difficult. After a breakdown I eventually left. I was not mentally strong enough to take them to a tribunal. I think as parents we have a duty and a responsibility to teach our children boys and girls about healthy and unhealthy relationships, respect for each other and about equality. This starts with teaching children not to hit each other and to be kind to each other. Treating each other as equals. Children copy their parents. Therefore, if children see that there is inequality in the household or violence in the household unless they know different or they are taught that its wrong and not acceptable they will most likely grow up thinking and acting out like their parents. The way that children are being brought up by their parents, the community that they live in and the culture that they come from can dictate how they treat each other. For example, sexual harassment of girls at school. This can be dismissed as boys

Profile for ANANKE

Violence Against Women Issue  

Ananke presents a special edition marking the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women - Nov 25th, 2018.

Violence Against Women Issue  

Ananke presents a special edition marking the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women - Nov 25th, 2018.

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