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him to pay alimony (known as child support in some countries) for the children. Because he had an obligation to pay alimony, he wanted value for his money. The court sent a social services employee two times for a short period of time. The social services employee just shrugged when I begged her to not let him be alone with me. However, she did let me be alone with him and he threatened me when I picked up the kids. Even though I was scared, the judge didn't see any problems for him having unsupervised visitation rights. I knew my ex better than the judge did.

Although my dream to work for the UN wasn?t realised, I did start the PAVE podcast where I talk and connect with UN speakers, and all those influencers who try to end violence against women and children.

He had abused one of my sons so severely at one point during visitation that he is now permanently hearing impaired. He put both of my children under a cold shower, cut in the pink part of the nails of their fingers and toes (nail bed) and forced them to eat foods that they weren't allowed to eat because of their premature birth. INFRINGING THE RULES I made the very difficult decision to go against the court rulings because my children were not safe. Of course, I was very scared but if they wouldn?t protect my children then I had to. I had to infringe the rules despite the consequences I may face. CONSEQUENCES In the Netherlands, the court has the right to get you imprisoned if you don't (fully) cooperate with visitation rights. My ex asked the court for that measure, he wanted sole custody, tried to stop me from studying and wanted money for every time I didn't let the children visit him. The judge ruled that I should pay my ex 500 euro for every time I wouldn't let my children go to their biological father alone. That meant that within a few months I owed him 15.000 euro.

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Violence Against Women Issue  

Ananke presents a special edition marking the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women - Nov 25th, 2018.

Violence Against Women Issue  

Ananke presents a special edition marking the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women - Nov 25th, 2018.

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