told Jen what the plan was, and she sat with my daughter on the sofa and rubbed her feet. “Okay, Daddy is going to give you a big kiss,” I said to my daughter. My daughter smiled because I’m guessing this sounded a heckuva lot better than Daddy is going to get the vacuum cleaner again. I pinched her right nostril, recalled CPR training from 8th grade health class, formed a tight seal around my daughter’s mouth, closed my eyes, and blew…hard. When I opened my eyes and gazed down upon my little girl, there was a crystalline string of snot running down her cheek, and at the end of this string was the soy nut. I nearly wept with joy and then gave my daughter a lollipop. At moments such as these, there seems to be a need for the child to share the experience immediately. She wanted to call my mother and tell her about the ordeal.
“Grammy, I stuck soy nuts up my nose and then Daddy sucked my nose with a vacuum and then gave me a big kiss.” There was much more to the phone call, but as I stood there listening to my daughter’s end of the conversation, I started to wonder how this would be communicated to her teachers at preschool the next day and how much they would truly glean from the story other than Daddy sucked my nose with a vacuum and then gave me a big kiss. Would, in fact, child services believe me when they showed up on my doorstep, and I carefully explained to them that I was simply talking to a friend of mine on the phone about high school field hockey when my daughter stuck soy nuts up her nose? (State trooper friend started howling in the background.)
Drew Gallagher graduated from Mary Washington College (UMW) with an English degree. While at Mary
Washington, he studied under Steve Watkins, and despite that oft-perceived handicap, he has managed to forge an exciting career in insurance claims. He once had a poem published in a journal called Kumquat Meringue, and you can look it up or simply take his word for it that he is not creative enough to make up a journal called Kumquat Meringue. His literary agent is Jeannie Dahnk who had the foresight to become a much-respected lawyer rather than wait on any millions that she would receive as his literary agent. Fall 2013 Volume 1, Issue 1
A compilation of the Fredericksburg Literary and Art Review, Volumes 1 and 2 (2013-2014)