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Editors’ Desk Editors’ Desk Election Season

C C

Election Season That’s All She Wrote

overing Student Government elections is very difficult for AMP. Since we send our stories to print at the end of every month, March issue is finished before candidates overing our Student Government elections is very difficult are for announced, and our April issue is published after AMP. Since we send our stories to print at the endelections of every are over. Becauseour of this, ourissue involvement hasbefore often candidates been minimal. Dear Plebs, month, March is finished are Last year,announced, however, weand were able to critique the shortcomings of the our April issue is published after elections election our post-election UnElection campaign, in which We to inform that upper management ofbeen AMP will are regret over. through Because ofyou this, ourthe involvement has often minimal. we managed to gather morethis votes in Though a fakethe election Student be departing magazine issue. some of than us plan tothe Last year,the however, we after were able to critique shortcomings of Government did contributors in actualinelections. While the no UnElection return as writers and some form, we will longer bewas election through ourtheir post-election UnElection campaign, in which fun inWe its own also showcased aa lack student engagement in charge. simply can’tit stand that ourinhard-hitting and controverwe managed toright, gather more votes fake ofelection than Student and enthusiasm Student Government. Unfortunately, we have sial content has failed totheir generate any semblance of activism on this Government didwith in actual elections. While the UnElection was not signs improvement this year. campus. Weitsknow, this may beofgetting difficult forofpast some of you to read, fun observed in ownmany right, it also showcased a lack student engagement Inenthusiasm the eyes ofwith AMP, an organization committed to promoting whatand with tears welling upStudent in your eyes and it being really blurry andhave Government. Unfortunately, we dialogue and facilitating the development of a shared campus stuff.campus But please push on. We have an important final message for you. not observed many signs of improvement this past year. culture, theeyes most important function of committed Student Government is Though we have targeted much of the university and the In the of AMP, an organization tocountry promoting serve as a communication bridge between the student body and withto our ever-critical and damning eye, we have not had enough pages campus dialogue and facilitating the development of a shared campus administration. Ideally, Student Government would be tune to tear down the all ofmost UTD’s debilitating problems and to uplift all in of its culture, important function of Student Government is with theasquestions, problems, and the ideasstudent of a broad wildto successes. We will doconcerns, so now. bridge serve a communication between body and and representative of the Government student body, would UTD has somecross-section good things. It also has some badand things. The good administration. Ideally, Student would be organize in tune and advocate for those ideas before administration. Conversely, things are good. The bad things are bad. We should keep the good with the questions, concerns, problems, and ideas of a broad and public from Government things. We communication should cross-section fix the bad things. will make university representative ofStudent theThis student body, our andshould wouldprovide organizea way for students tothose better understand the administrative decisionbetter. The country should alsoideas fix its before bad things and keep its Conversely, good and advocate for administration. making process UTD. Student Government canthings properly fill thisa things, especially thatatPresident, amirite ladies? When are better, public communication from Student Government should provide role only if it regularly communicates and engages with students of people will be happier. Except for people that disagree with us. They way for students to better understand the administrative decisionand pursuits. Theeventually AMP UnElection was just one will all notbackgrounds be. But thenatthey willStudent die and be can phased out of making process UTD. Government properly fithe ll this example how little Student done toward this end. AMProle zeitgeist. small thingsGovernment will be easier than fixing big things, onlyofif Fixing it regularly communicates and has engages with students of For the average student to get more involved with the Student and all it will therefore be easier to find consensus. However, the biggest backgrounds and pursuits. The AMP UnElection was just one Government process, Student Government must take the initiative issues will divide the mostStudent people,Government and will require those in power to end. reexample of how little has done toward this to actively with students andopinions encourage themthe to Student engage. sponsibly all interested parties. of with those interested Forconsult the connect average student to get The more involved However, a cursory search what Student Government actually parties, varied and diverse, shouldforbe published for the UTDthe commuGovernment process, Student Government must take initiative does yields few results. Thstudents is is by and no means saying that nity to to read, preferably inwith AMP. actively connect encourage them to Student engage. Government does nothing on what campus; talk withturned any Student Which brings us to the one organization wea have not our However, a cursory search for Student Government actually Government Senator quickly thewe many they’ve been vigilant toward — ourselves. And needinitiatives to step up our does lens yields few results. This reveals is byboy, no means saying that Student working on. However, their public presence and communication with game. Government does nothing on campus; a talk with any Student Government Senator quickly reveals the many initiatives they’ve been working on. However, their public presence and communication with

the student body as a whole does little to indicate that. Their online meeting minutes haven’t been published since November of 2016, making it diffi cultastoaquickly figurelittle out what Student Government is the student body whole does to indicate that. Their online planning for students. Checking their social media presence also isn’t meeting minutes haven’t been published since November of 2016, much help. Scrolling through year primarily yields First all,cult how AMPfithe callpast itself the “student opinion magazine”, making it of diffi to can quickly gure outacademic what Student Government is posts on a resolution concerning the bathroom bill, the introduction or whatever, when it never has conservative opinions? It’s almost like planning for students. Checking their social media presence also isn’t of hammocks to campus, andthe a past few advertisements for sponsored writers with conservative opinions never approach to write! But that much help. Scrolling through academic yearusprimarily yields political leading upbetoout election week. just means AMP should on streets recruiting conservative posts on events a resolution concerning thethe bathroom bill, the introduction It is unreasonable to expect students to balanced be engaged intherefore asponsored dialogue in order make itsand content and more ofwriters hammocks to tocampus, a fewmore advertisements for with Student Government when so little information is digitally representative of the student body! By enforcing a strict conservative political events leading up to election week. accessible. The simple to thesetocriticisms is that students slant, could counter the liberal-biased campus media. It iswe unreasonable torebuttal expect students be engaged in a dialogue can shouldwhat meeteven withareStudent Government Senators person Secondly, these Some aren’tisin properly withand Student Government when opinions??? so little information digitally to discuss their issues and concerns. However, blaming lack of sourced, some are utterly undeveloped, some have contained factuaccessible. The simple rebuttal to these criticisms is that students engagement on students is not an eff ective solution. Until Student ally incorrect information, and some are just distilled imitations of can and should meet with Student Government Senators in person Government effectively itbetter can tangibly assist and that I issues could demonstrates find much by a more reputable toarguments discuss their and rendered concerns.how However, blaming lack of inform students, students lack a reason to care. source. What is AMP even doing, man??? engagement on students is not an effective solution. Until Student AThirdly, yearly typos. testectively of Student Government’s success with student There are somtimes egregious arrors thatassist effect read. Government eff demonstrates how it can tangibly and engagement is the election Come students, on, they’re ridiculous. inform students lackprocess. a reasonInto recent care. years, this test has resulted inNow antest uncontested coronation ceremony, andwith an election we’ve criticized every UTD institution. And on that AThere. yearly of Student Government’s success student whose abysmal turnout spurred us to mock it. Th is year we planned note, upper management officially announces its departure (the engagement is the election process. In recent years, this test first has tocouple help ofin drum up participation and awareness our paragraphs were unofficial). resulted an uncontested coronation ceremony, by andrunning an election own candidate, init.on the fun. Inpresidential all seriousness, we, theand departing editorial members, would whose abysmal turnout spurred usjoining to mock Thboard is year weHowever, planned atolike combination of bylaws that restrict presidential eligibility to to thank you, readers, whether you’ve been a longtime fan orour are help drum up participation and awareness by running previous full-term Student Government Senators, and inter-Student just reading us for the first time — sorry, freshmen who are picking own presidential candidate, and joining in on the fun. However, Government andWe relationships made it diffi cultor to find up for thepolitics first time. hope we’ve made you think, made athis combination of bylaws that restrict presidential eligibility toyou aprevious candidate to place under our banner. Regardless of how we endfor laugh, orfull-term both, andStudent that we’ve been a positive presence on campus Government Senators, and inter-Student up participating this month, themade onusyou is made on Student you. If anything you’ve readrelationships has think Icult could that!” Government politics and it“Hey, diffiGovernment to do find transform consistently been referred to of astohow an “Hey, I could dohas better than or you just want seeapathetic your name atoorcandidate towhat place under ourthat!” banner. Regardless we end student body. glossy Thethis United States election and bad turnout onparticipating our shiny pages without having something enough up month, the presidential onus is to ondo Student Government at UTD’s election night party demonstrated that students can to warrant us talking about you, please reach out next semester tobe write; to transform what has consistently been referred to as an apathetic motivated to care country. They can also care about their AMP would love toUnited havetheir your voice. Thank youelection for all your feedback, student body. Theabout States presidential and turnout school. Whatever this election, to see reading Student positive negative, and we hopewe youhope all continue atwhether UTD’s electionorhappens night party demonstrated that students can beas Government do more to demonstrate why they are essential our long as you attend this university. The future of AMP is in good hands, motivated to care about their country. They can also care abouttotheir campus’s future. and we’re as excited as anyone to see where it goes next. school. Whatever happens this election, we hope to see Student Government do more to demonstrate why they are essential to our campus’s future.

Zachary Boullt - Editor-in-Chief

Maisha Razzaque - Marketing Director

Matt Carpenter - Managing Editor

Zachary Boullt - Editor-in-Chief

Maisha Razzaque - Marketing Director

Matt Carpenter - Managing Editor

Nicholas Provenghi - Web Editor

Bryar Bennett - Art Director

Nicholas Provenghi - Web Editor

Bryar Bennett - Art Director


04 06 WHITEWASHED 08 12 PLATFORM SPEAK 14 DJ SHOWCASE 16 FOOD THOUGHT 18 ILL-ADVISED BY MORGANNE BLAYLOCK & JOANNA HAUG

OUT

BY EUNJEE CHONG

APPROPRIATION = APPRECIATION

Editor-in-Chief Zachary Boullt

Managing Editor Matt Carpenter

BY VALERIA ACOSTA

Art Director

IVANKA’S FALSE FEMINISM

Web Editor

BY ANGEERA NASER

A

TO

BY NADA MAGEED

WITH SHIELAH & SHEINA MAUNTANA

FOR

BY BRYAR BENNETT

Bryar Bennett

Nicholas Provenghi

Marketing Director Maisha Razzaque

Contributors Valeria Acosta Morganne Blaylock Eunjee Chong Joanna Haug Emily Huffman Nada Mageed Angeera Naser

Media Adviser Chad Thomas

Correction In the April issue of AMP, in the piece titled “The Stigmatization of Mental Illness,” it was stated that the Student Counseling Center is a part of the Student Success Center, which offers academic support. The Student Counseling Center is a part of Student Affairs and offers health support.

Disclaimer Opinions expressed in AMP are those of the editor or of the writer of the article and are not necessarily those of the university administration, the board of Regents of the University of Texas System, or of the operating board of the magazine.

Have an opinion? Think you’re funny? Write for AMP! Contact us at amodestproposal@gmail.com and follow us on social media @AMPatUTD for more information.


d e s i v d A l l I LIFESTYLE

t n u A h t Wi

o J t n u A Mo and

Aunt Mo and Aunt Jo are not aunts and are in no way actually qualified to answer your questions. However, they have a lot of opinions and want you to follow them. This column aims to satisfy their need to give unsolicited advice. I’m going to be taking some summer classes at utd but all of my friends will be gone!!! what should i do?? – sad and lonely

Jo: DON’T DO IT!!! RUN FAR AWAY!!! Mo: We’ve both spent a summer semester on campus while most of our friends were gone and we can tell you: Bad things can happen when you don’t have your people on campus. Jo: Make sure that you spend time with people, even if that means getting out of your comfort zone and making new friends. Use the resources available to you! Mo: Try to set up recurring events, like structure volunteer time, or a sports team. I climbed at the rock wall in the Activity Center a few times a week over my summer on campus. Jo: Campus during the summer is really, really different than during the school year. But, you usually have the pools to yourself, so that’s a bonus!

my mom is the greatest person ever, and her birthday is coming up in a month. she deserves the finest jewels, but i’m flat broke. what should i do to let her know how much i appreciate her? – penniless penny

Jo: OK, we are definitely going to use this as a way to talk about how great moms are. Moms are so great, right? Mo: Moms are great! (See, Mother, I do appreciate you!) Jo: I cannot emphasize enough how much a nice, handwritten note will probably mean to your momma. Probably plus something else, but still. Mo: Or something slightly less expensive than jewels, like a small bouquet of flowers. You could even invest in a handmade gift for your ma, like a home-cooked meal or breakfast in bed. Jo: You know how when you were little, you could just make some terrible craft and your mummy would still love it? I’m pretty sure that mentality doesn’t really change. As long as it’s done with love, she’ll love it.

UTD’s no tobacco policy starting june 1st could possibly limit my ability to blow some wicked o’s.

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how am i going to cope with the inability to be a vape god on campus? – tom smokehaw

Jo: You should get a hobby. Mo: That is a hobby. Jo: It’s a dumb hobby. Mo: Word on the street is that UTD will have difficulty enforcing the policy... but you didn’t hear it from us. Jo: AUNT MO! We are anti-destructive behaviors here at Ill-Advised, and I think vaping is a destructive decision. At least for your social life, ayyyy. Mo: Be smart, don’t start (looking at you, wannabe rebellious freshmen). Jo: Just say no. Mo: Hang tough, don’t puff. Jo: Put down the drugs and give Jesus a hug. Mo: You know what I always say, put that stash in the trash. Jo: Say nope to dope. Mo: I’d rather eat breakfast-in-bed that be called a pothead. Jo: Do math, not meth (I SAY DO NEITHER). Mo: Aunt Jo, we can advocate for healthier lifestyles and STEM education. Jo: Shout-out to Google for helping us to educate the masses. Drug abuse is over. We did it, Aunt Mo!

So my roommate is incredibly messy. he leaves the sink piled full with dishes, doesn’t take out the trash, and has left rotten food in our fridge for months. our apartment smells horrible. he’s a really nice person so i don’t want to make things awkward by confronting him, but our apartment is in a ridiculous state of disarray. i know my other roommates are equally irritated. should i just stick it out until we all move out? - frustrated with filth Jo: I am continually concerned that I am this roommate. Mo: I am that roommate.


Jo: I’m just a naturally messy person and if people don’t tell me, I assume that they’re OK with my mess. Mo: The real concern is that we are living together soon. Jo: We are equal levels of messy, though. We’ll be fine. I would so much rather people tell me that they’re no OK with it than get increasing irritated with me. Mo: At this point, you have two weeks left, just stick it out and study for your finals. Jo: If you do talk to him, do it calmly and give him specific complaints so that he can work to make a change in the future. Mo: In research for this answer, my roommate outed me as a bad dishwasher. Jo: That was in research for this answer??? I thought she just felt like you were a bad dishwasher.

There are a few professors who have written multiple letters of rec for me or went above and beyond to help me out with something. after a couple of times, a thank you note doesn’t seem to cut it, but buying a gift seems awkward and even inappropriate. what’s the appropriate way to thank a professor?! - Presents for PRofs Jo: Heartfelt thank you notes and baked goods work on moms and professors! Mo: I have given both and no one has called it inappropriate. Jo: Some of this depends on your relationship with your professors. But

you should remember that they are people too, and it’s totally valid to tell them how much you appreciate their help and support.

i think i’m falling in love with someone again and basically don’t know what to do. we ended things almost a year ago on fairly good terms, but were recently reconnected and it seems like sparks are flying. maybe it’s just me though, so i don’t want to say anything and ruin what could be a good friendship? – more problems than meredith grey

Mo: I think you really need to look into why you ended things a year ago. If it was on good terms, why did you feel the need to break up? Jo: Do you think you’re really having these feelings naturally, or do you think it’s because you want to be having those feelings? Mo: Or because you miss having those feelings. Sometimes the missing is the hardest part of staying broken up. Jo: I think Aunt Mo is right. Think about why you want this and do your best to assess where the person is. Mo: Try to be friends and try to remember what happened a year ago.

MORGANNE BLAYLOCK & JOANNA HAUG sophomores | mech. eng. & sociology Morganne and Joanna are best friends that enjoy long talks on the couch and telling their friends what to do.

may 2017

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.Casting directors seem to need some. .kind of justification to hire Asian. .actors, whereas white actors. .are the norm in mainstream movies.

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W

ith the recent controversy surrounding Scarlett Johansson’s casting as a Japanese woman in the film Ghost in the Shell, more and more people are taking notice of Hollywood’s failure to hire Asian actors and actresses in Asian roles. This failure, along with Ghost In the Shell’s failure at the opening weekend box office, can be attributed to the practice of whitewashing: casting white actors in historically non-white character roles. Whitewashing of Asian roles often involves complete ignorance of the Asian character’s roots. For example, in M. Night Shyamalan’s film adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender (2010), characters like the heroes Aang, Katara, and Sokka were stripped of their Asian ethnicities that were clearly presented in the original television series, and cast with white actors. It’s easier to ignore the fact that these characters were Asian in this instance because, technically, the characters’ ethnicities were not explicitly stated in the source material, and the characters’ ethnicities were not imperative to the story. However, these kinds of technicalities are the backbone of a main argument against casting Asian people: Why should we hire Asian actors? The better question is: Why shouldn’t we? Casting directors seem to need some kind of justification to hire Asian actors, whereas white actors are the norm in mainstream movies. This treatment of white actors as the default in casting is harmful to the representation of racial diversity. Moreover, it’s harmful to Asian representation in American film and television. When there has to be special reasoning to hire Asians for a production, that reasoning often results in typecasting — only using Asians for characters such as the Uneducated Foreigner or the Overly Geeky Asian Friend or the Seductive Dragon Lady. You might say at least typecasting uses Asian actors as opposed to another notorious filming practice used to exclude Asian people from the industry: yellowfacing. “Yellowface” refers to the theatrical makeup that white actors apply to portray a caricature of an Asian character. This often involves literal yellow face makeup, facial prosthetics (for enlarged teeth

or ears), or eye tape (for slanted, monolid eyes). Yellowfacing was all the rage in old Hollywood, with performances such as Katherine Hepburn playing a Chinese woman in Dragon Seed (1944), Marlon Brando in The Teahouse of August Moon (1956), and Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi in the acclaimed Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961). The most recent use of cosmetic yellowfacing was in Cloud Atlas (2012) where the filmmakers applied prosthetics and makeup to white actors in an effort to make their eyes smaller and more slanted — because the only defining trait of any Asian person is, of course, their small eyes. The good news is that we’ve gone five years without this kind of incident. The bad news, however, is that a new kind of yellowfacing has surfaced in popular American television and film. As cosmetic yellowfacing often reveals racist attitudes toward Asians with the use of visual caricatures, the use of Asian cultures and people as a backdrop to a narrative featuring white heroes also reveals a different kind of racist attitude towards Asians, one riddled with trite story tropes and stereotypes. And while nobody is, fortunately, donning a rice hat and taping their eyes to the side, this appropriation of Asian themes and aesthetics in a film with very little in the way of actual Asian characters is also a type of visual caricature that contributes to misrepresentation. For example, in Marvel’s new Netflix series Iron Fist, Finn Jones plays Danny Rand, a superhero who calls upon the mystic power of the Iron Fist to perform kung fu. The character obtained his skill set after training and studying Buddhism in the hills of China for 15 or so years. Though this narrative is chock-full of orientalist clichés with a dash of yellow fever as a result of the sidelined Asian female love interest, we can’t attribute its trite storytelling to whitewashing or yellowfacing. The original comics emphasize Danny Rand’s approach to Chinese culture and martial arts as that of a wide-eyed foreigner — clearly enlightened by the exotic practices of these simple folk. It helps soften the blow to remember that the first issue of “Iron Fist” was released in 1974, a time that was less culturally conscious of minorities, especially Asian Americans. However, the Netflix series premiered this year, in 2017, when Asian Americans are indeed

alive and well and slightly bitter about the lost opportunity to revert the racist stereotypes of an outdated narrative. Using Chinese culture as a backdrop for the premise of a white savior’s story is not, necessarily, yellowfacing. It’s yellowplacing. While Asian Americans are ignored in the entertainment industry, our culture is not. Our martial arts, our religions, or anything that seems exotic or aesthetically pleasing are good enough for directors and producers, but we, ourselves, are not. To speak very candidly as an Asian American, the lack of dynamic representation of Asian people and culture in film and television tells me that we are not wanted. We are not beautiful. We are not complex. We are not worthy of having our stories told. To speak even more candidly: None of that is true. Why should we hire Asian actors? Why should we be aware of what casting and narrative decisions in TV and film are harmful? Why should we, as some who may go on to work in media and entertainment, take into consideration the impact of minority representation in the United States? Well, it all comes down to the worth of Asian people and cultures in this country, and, truthfully, I should not have to justify my worth as a human being. People who look and speak like me all have stories worth telling. The call for better minority representation is often oversimplified as a movement for forced diversity. However, the term “forced diversity” implies that the world isn’t actually diverse and that people of many different types of sexualities, races, ethnicities, etc. do not exist. Rather, the call for better minority representation is a call for media depictions to be a more accurate reflection of the world we live in and for the inclusion of better stories worth being told.

EUNJEE CHONG sophomore | atec + emac Eunjee is not as bitter as she seems

may 2017

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CULTURE

APPROP = APPREC Adopting elements of other cultures without understanding their significance is offensive and damaging

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PRIATION = CIATION by valeria acosta design & graphics by nicholas provenghi

may 2017

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O

ur University of Texas at Dallas prides itself on ranking amongst the most diverse college campuses in the United States. The university has inspired communication and acceptance amongst its student population. With 300 registered organizations, and a dedicated Multicultural Center, UTD has consistently welcomed students of all backgrounds and successfully found a place for everyone to belong. As May unravels into our last days on campus for the term, we can hopefully expect to see all forms of cultural acceptance and celebration in the month designated as Asian Pacific American Heritage Month (May 21st is World Cultural Diversity Day) to kick off our summer vacation. The Multicultural Center has always been a source of support in mediating cultural diversity through its well-thought-out events, panels, and fairs. It provides all UTD students with the opportunity to learn about and keep in touch with their own cultures as well as many others while maintaining “civility, dignity, and respect.” Even amongst the current tense political climate, and a brief panic concerning white supremacy propaganda found on campus, I believe that the university has done a great service in providing a safe space for all to express and celebrate their identities with their peers. While this celebration is amazing and we are constantly encouraged to appreciate our heritage as well as that of others, one question must still be addressed in the minds of the student body of UTD. That question is: When does cultural appreciation end, and cultural appropriation begin? Cultural appropriation is the use, borrowing, or imitation of cultural creations by others. It has become a reoccurring problem within the United States where forms of art, music, and fashion (among other elements of culture) are exploited to the point where cultures are deprived of benefitting from their own cultural experiences. I cannot speak for other cultures, but I can speak about the exploitation of Cinco de Mayo from the perspective of a Mexican. To speak candidly, there is something cheap about celebrating Cinco de Mayo with a margarita in one hand, and a sombrero in the other. Very often, this holiday is utilized as an excuse for others to party, and only benefits those who feign to appreciate the history of a date dubbed to be “Mexican Independence Day.” Except, Cinco De Mayo is not a Mexican holiday, and it is not even Mexican Independence Day (September 16th). It is the commemoration of the triumph at the Battle of Puebla, and even amongst my native country the day is celebrated selectively by the people of Puebla. So not only do I not have the cultural right to take the day off and party for Mexican Independence Day, I also do not feel comfortable partaking in a holiday which does not belong to me, a non-native to Puebla. Many other people who take it upon themselves to “celebrate” with a $3 plastic sombrero stimulate the formation of stereotypes and incorrect representation. I do encourage everyone, however, to send their blessings and their good energy to the people of Puebla who will rightfully be celebrating this coming year. More often, appropriation does not develop from the intention of exploiting a cultural creation, but from plain as day ignorance. A popular form of appropriation is through fashion since it is a very abstract form of expression. In a smaller scale, the 2012 Victoria’s Secret fashion show featured a “sexy native” which (rightfully) received negative responses as the creation of a stereotypical image of a Native American. The outfit’s most offending piece was the outlandishly large,

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artificial headdress, as headdresses are considered a very sacred piece by many Native American cultures, not to be worn by women and not to be worn in a non-intimate setting. Victoria’s Secret released an apology, but since then we have still seen offensive material exploiting the sexuality of Native American women. As the end of Coachella rolls around right when I finish writing this article, there is evidence of multiple female presenting people (not evidently belonging to one of the Native American tribes) wearing headdresses made of synthetics and plastics and creating the image of the “sexy native”. Not only is this representation incorrect, morally wrong, and culturally offensive, but if more people knew Native American women have the highest rates of rape and sexual assault — due to the exploitation of their “exotic” nature — I’m sure we would see fewer “sexy natives.” It is a challenge not to see some form of the Hindu deity Ganesha somewhere in most department store clothing sections including socks, underwear, and most t-shirts. Ganesha is a figure that is worshiped across multiple cultures and his influence extends across multiple religious aspects, so the issue is not necessarily crossing borders and deciding who can worship Ganesh and who cannot. The issue relies on the fact that American fashion and culture has failed to grasp the respect that a religious figure deserves, especially when other cultures hold specific customs and respect their figures differently. “Jesus is my Homeboy” and the “trendy” treatment to the Christian faith like wearing the cross on a pair of leggings may be all well and good, but the treatment cannot be applied to all religious figures. The truth is that it is offensive to wear Ganesha on feet, or on any medium that can get dirty. In America, it is highly normalized to wear Ganesha on a patterned textile for underwear, but would the same be true for Jesus? Even statues of Ganesha are traditionally bathed multiple times throughout the day because he is held in high regard. To wear Ganesha disrespectfully hurts not only the faith but the people who follow him and created a strong emotional attachment. Intimacy, emotional attachment, and respect are all factors that I believe many of us should consider when we partake in a culture that we are hoping to celebrate or a religion we are thinking of following or representing. Interacting with multiple cultures is beautiful, and I encourage everyone to expand our understanding of each other, but it requires some finesse. We live in a colorful world that is not afraid to share, but in the process, can become victim to culture erasure. Approaching a new culture requires research and the ability to adjust one’s understanding of celebration. UTD has always celebrated diversity, and encouraged ourselves and others to appreciate each other in our similarities as well as our differences. The Multicultural Center has done a brilliant job of creating events that are open to everyone and do not stimulate disrespect. All I ask of our student body is to take the time to research even a fraction as much as they do. Respect is a priority when we borrow anything from our peers, and it should be the same for something as abstract as culture.

VALERIA ACOSTA

sophomore | EMAC Valeria likes cats and pretending that talking about them doesn’t annoy people.


UTD (D for Diversity) The 26,000+ students on campus make up one of the most diverse student bodies in the country. Here’s what the exact breakdown of the UTD population is, according to the university’s offical profile from Fall 2016.

35 30

% of utd students by ethnicity

31%

25

23%

20

anglo international asian-american hispanic african-american two or more races unknown/other native american native hawaiian

22%

15

13%

10

5%

5

4%

2% .2% .2%

TOP Countries of origin excluding the united states 1. india 2. china 3. taiwan 4. south korea

5. iran

may 2017

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POLITICS


by angeera naser | photo byMichael Vadon

H

alf stately, mahogany portraits of herself — impeccably clothed and surrounded by a throng of world leaders – and half smooth, unblemished, and beautifully lit family pictures, Ivanka Trump’s Instagram is truly a work of art. Perching her baby on one hip while taking an ever-important business call is all part of her supermommy-like brand; she wants to let working women know that they can have it all — perfect career, cherubic children, loving marriage — just like her. She has the book and hashtag to prove it. Of course, this is hardly the entire story. Trump’s brand sells cutesy dresses, purses, and heels for the empowered professional — all of which are highly inaccessible and/or impractical for the vast majority of working women. Similarly, her feminism almost exclusively serves upper-class entrepreneurs such as herself: those who can hire nannies and assistants and other various forms of help for the incredible workload that comes with being both a mother and a business owner. Most working women, all of whom Trump is claiming to champion, have no such luxury. Regardless, as she stated to Vogue, Ivanka Trump’s campaign attempts mainly to change the perception that women’s work isn’t “marketable” or “sexy,” rather than address the fact that work is an unavoidable reality for thousands of women with far fewer resources to help them. Furthermore, the policies Ivanka Trump champions hurt working women — especially the paid maternity leave plan she pushed that applies exclusively to married biological mothers. Not only does this plan disadvantage adoptive parents, it also excludes fathers — ultimately making women (or those who will go on to have children) costlier for companies to hire, and thereby systematically discouraging the employment of women workers altogether. Even disregarding all those flaws, the plan only provides for six weeks of leave, which experts (as well as directors of nonprofits doing much more for working women, such as Ellen Bravo and Vivien Labaton) agree is not enough time for mothers to recover from pregnancy and bond with their children. The larger childcare policy this plan is nestled within is flawed even further. It allows parents earning less than a certain income, $250,000 for individuals or $500,000 for couples, to deduct childcare expenses from their income taxes. However, the plan blatantly overlooks families whose incomes are too low to pay taxes — again failing to make paid childcare or parental leave a valid option for far too many working mothers.

But the biggest hole in Trump’s veritably Swiss-cheesed feminism is neither her advertising campaign nor her flawed policy choices. It is that, despite everything, she continues to support her father, and has also left both her brand and the Trump organization in order to move to Washington and serve as an unpaid presidential advisor — almost mocking the women who have spent years, if not decades, climbing the political ladder to strive for such a position. Donald Trump’s overt misogyny is fundamentally incompatible with the ideals Ivanka Trump claims to support — an overwhelmingly obvious point that has been discussed at great length since even before the inauguration. But it remains that a purportedly empowered working woman (with a robust life outside her familial obligations) still chooses to be complicit in the activities of a man who has and will continue to hurt more women than her feminism will ever help. More than that, she firmly maintains that her father is a feminist. Perhaps Ivanka Trump’s feminism is so utterly flawed because it isn’t feminism at all — it’s really just the same set of traditional personal and familial values packaged in a slightly different way for the modern woman. She doesn’t champion working women; she champions traditional femininity, multitasking motherhood, and the perfect “empowering” stiletto. Moreover, her feminism requires no assistance or lifestyle adjustments from the men around her. Her husband doesn’t have to tweet about helping around the house and with the children while she goes off to work, and her father apparently doesn’t have to possess an iota of respect for women in order to be considered a feminist as well. Her brand meshes sexist expectations about women as passive helpers and nurturers with the vastly different reality many American women face today, expecting them to handle the stresses of working full-time along with all the pressures of motherhood and general domesticity — all while blindly cheering from the sidelines for the men in their life. This is not at all a realistic expectation for the majority of working women, who already have very little help within the encouraged traditional family setting; those who do strive for Trump’s superhuman ideal often face heightened depression, anxiety, and marital strife. Though she markets it perfectly, her model of womanhood is neither safe, accessible, nor ultimately meaningful. Meanwhile, she tweets another smiling picture — children in arm, immaculately dressed.

ANGEERA NASER sophomore | computer science When she isn’t busy drawing or coding, Angeera can be found letting people know about her very strong opinions on things.

may 2017

13


POLITICS

Celebrities should use their platforms to advocate for those with less of a voice by nada mageed | design by nicholas provenghi

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photo from: Highsmith/Library of Congress via pingnews.com.


E

ver since the beginning of the end of America’s democracy

protests, Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes speech, Jesse Williams’ speech

in early 2016, it has become apparent that any action Donald

at the BET Awards after winning a humanitarian award, Beyoncé’s

Trump means to take will most likely take a toll on at least one

entire Lemonade album, and a long list of others. Many people look up

afflicted group of people. From a border wall to the criminal-

to them, and if they are spreading a message that shows empathy for

ization of a basic human right, the American public has refused to stay

others, and only seek peace and tranquility in society, then how is that

silent any longer. The media has covered most of the political unrest

so bad? None of these celebrities have promoted violence or anything

that has been ignited within the nation, from protests to marches,

negative whatsoever, so why is there such an enormous public outcry

making it obvious that the people will do whatever they can to get their

whenever they speak out about political grievances? These outcries are

message across. But some of those masses of people didn’t only have

only initiated by the uncomfortable and the guilty.

your average, unnamed protesters. Amongst them were familiar faces as

A lot of the arguments usually include a comment or two talking

well — celebrities. Recently, celebrities have become increasingly vocal

about how these entertainers shouldn’t bring up social issues in their

about their political leanings and their takes on current issues through

art because they’re supposed to provide an “escape” for the American

several platforms, such as awards show speeches and protesting along-

public during trying times. Take former New York City mayor Rudy

side locals. A recurring conversation comes up time and time again

Giuliani for example. After Beyonce’s 2016 Super Bowl performance,

concerning whether or not celebrities should discuss politics. They

he reprimanded her for attacking the police with her song “Formation”

should — but only under some conditions.

(a song about black empowerment) while her dancers were dressed

In September 2016, a poll revealed that Colin Kaepernick is cur-

in what was clearly a nod to the Black Panthers. He continues to call

rently the most disliked player in the NFL. There is no doubt that this

for more “decent and wholesome entertainment.” One thing I would

is because of his silent protests (i.e. kneeling) during the national an-

like to get across is the fact that those who are able to “escape” with

them of every game he plays. People who have shown their disapproval

a few minutes of wholesome entertainment are not affected by the

for his actions call him “unpatriotic” and “disrespectful of American

issue in the first place. But for other marginalized groups, it’s what

veterans,” all while completely missing The Point™. The 49ers quarter-

they go through everyday. It is better to have a celebrity recognize and

back has given a detailed explanation about why he does what he does,

acknowledge the trials of said groups than to pretend that the issue is

which is to bring attention to and protest against racial inequality and

not there at all.

police brutality, yet he still continues to receive death threats. Mean-

This may be shocking to some, but celebrities are people too!

while, another quarterback, Tom Brady of the New England Patriots,

Whether the issue affects them at some point or not doesn’t really

has been showing his political beliefs by remaining friends with a

matter. If they seek to create a positive change in society through

certain tangerine-hued you-know-who and keeping a “Make America

promoting equality, emphasizing the necessity of basic human rights,

Great Again” hat in his locker, yet there doesn’t seem to be nearly as

and calling out how these things are wrongfully taken away from some

much public uproar or backlash against his political statements. As the

people, then there is no better way to get that sort of message across

response to these two athletes demonstrates, there is an evident double

than the platform of someone of their caliber.

standard when it comes celebrities and political speech. A public figure should participate in discussions about politics, but his or her message should reflect a message of equality and peace rather than taking part in harmful rhetoric that contributes to the discrimination of minorities. Other actions taken by celebrities that I commemorate while most deem controversial include Shailene Woodley attending DAPL

NADA MAGEED sophomore | biology Nada’s favorite hobbies include panicking about the unforeseeable future and becoming overwhelmed when doing the bare minimum.

may 2017

15


MUSIC

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DJ SHOWCASE | amputd.com

in collaboration with RadioUTD


Can you explain the name of your show?

AMP interviewed the DJs from Like the Beatnix about their international tastes, childhood influences, and name stories

shielah & sheina mauntana thursday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

The Beatniks of the late

1950s - 1960s were a part of a revolutionary subculture for music. We’d like to think the music we play on our show exemplify this

attitude, modernized. In our first semester at Radio UTD, some of

the older DJs and our friends would call us the “beatnix,” so the name kind of stuck after that in addition to our original concept.

What is the concept behind the music you play on your show? We play music from various genres, from folk to retro wave to

R&B. Due to the fact that Radio UTD has only two pop shows

this semester, we take pride in how needed this genre is for diversity.

Diversity isn’t exclusive to the USA; it also encompasses international

sounds of varying languages and cultures. We frequently feature songs from many nations such as Colombia, Korea, France, Indonesia, and

many more. Generally, we play music that not only appeals to us, but also that appeals to a widely diverse audience as well. Good music is

good music, no matter the label, so our concept behind our repertoire is art that transcends cliques and niches.

How did being raised together influence your music taste? We both have strong foundations in the same music tastes, thanks

to our parents. They raised us with jazz, classic rock, 80s pop, and a collection of other classic songs. Similarly, we grew up in the same

schools and classes, so we followed the same musical trends growing up. Thus, not only do we have similar tastes with each other, but also with the era and people we grew up with.

How do you balance out your individual music tastes when curating your show’s selections? Though we like each other’s music, we do have individual tastes.

Sheinootnoot is more into electronic,

lo-fi, and rap songs. DJ SELLOUT’s taste has

more classic influences such as 50s era music, rock, and Mexican bo-

lero. We don’t feel there is a need to balance out our individual tastes because we appreciate the diversity; the more different a good song sounds, the more inspiration it shares.

What’s the story behind your DJ nicknames, DJ SELLOUT and sheinootnoot? DJ SELLOUT is a play on Shielah’s nickname: Sela. We used to

say DJ Sela, but when we said it fast on air, it sounded like DJ Sellout. Being the self-deprecating humorists we are, it was a comical transition. Sheinootnoot arose because one of Sheina’s favorite TV shows is Pingu, which was partly known for their strange “noot” language.

In high school, a friend would call her Pinga, commonly with a “noot noot” in addition. Thus, the sophisticated moniker ascended.

What motivated you to start a show with RadioUTD? Before we were Comets, we went on a campus tour of UTD and

found out that the university had its own student run radio station.

We thought it was amazing that students could play their own music

and share what they wanted to say. The independence in running your own show was appealing, especially to a pair of high schoolers that

had a very little amount of people to share with. We love the fact that RadioUTD lets students share their love of music campus-wide (and technically world wide via internet).

What are your DJ plans now that this semester is ending? Next year will be our last year, so catch us while we’re hot!

design by nicholas provenghi may 2017

17


FOOD

Food for Thought:

S

o, in case there was any confusion, I’m an adult. I do adult things. I go to work. I pay my bills. I own slacks and a coffee maker and sometimes I get caught up in adult stuff and I freakin’ forget to find a restaurant to review. You think I have time wander around looking for food? Huh? Like a raccoon? You think I’m not living off a McDonald’s drive through? I’m only human. Get off my back. Unfortunately, this is also my last review before graduation and I — like you — am spending the entirety of this week desperately trying to prepare for exams and final projects. I‘ve been crying, sleeping, and panicking in equal parts for like two weeks. I’ve reached that point where time is an illusion. There’s no morning or night or lunch time, only time when I am or am not studying. I don’t go to bed, I pass out wherever I happen to be when my body literally can’t continue to function. When I’m awake it’s a blur of caffeine, notes, textbooks, and Overwatch. I haven’t eaten anything that didn’t come from a paper bag in like three weeks. I don’t have time for a food review OK? OK??? …But it wouldn’t feel right to not write something. On a more personal note, I’ve been working as Creative Director of AMP for a little over a year now, and it’s been a really fun time. I started writing these food reviews out of necessity, and since then have come to really enjoy cranking them out every week…at the last minute…like 45 minutes before the drop deadline. I’ll miss doing them, and there are a lot of restaurants I would love to have had time to actually write about, but for now I’m going to work with what I have: a whole lot of opinions. I’m going to do my best to give as many bite-sized UTD centric reviews as I can in the half hour I’m allotting to this article. I hope they’re helpful.

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SMASHED!!! Arguably the only restaurant on campus that means anything to

me. It’s literally a potato shop. You can get a Build-a-Spud or a Protein Potato — both endearingly stupid names — with your choice of a russet or sweet potato, I think. Who cares? Whatever. What matters is that when you tell them what you want, they calmly pick up the chosen potato, put it on a sacrificial little metal slab thing, and then SMASH it. They just bash it with a frying pan thing like it did something to them. THEN, they have the audacity to turn back to me and look at me like I’m the lunatic for laughing. I’m an adult and an intellectual, but you can’t tell me that’s not funny. The fact that everyone else is so calm makes it funnier. The food is good, and the potato pancake method lets you enjoy an equal spud to toppings ratio until the very end, and they bake it in a big ole’ oven so it’s all gooey and wonderful. I just can’t be in a bad mood after going to SMASHED!!!

A Ifake IHOP love funny face pancakes, so when I heard about the new IHOP

popping up by the dining halls I was thrilled. I don’t even live on campus, but I figured it’d be a cute spot to grab some breakfast. Plus it’s open late, so I could do breakfast for dinner and feel all good inside and be all full of funny face pancakes. Well GUESS WHAT? There aren’t any funny face pancakes. They lied. They gave me hope and then spit in my face. It’s a phony IHOP, you guys. A glorious façade. They only have half the menu, it’s colder than the freakin Arctic, and the service is way too slow for a feel good breakfast before class. I mean, what’s the point if I can’t get seasonal trash French toast? What’s the point if I can’t get a funny face pancake? “But, Bryar,” they say, “It’s only a campus IHOP. What did you expect?” I expected an ACTUAL IHOP. Get it together.

The classy atec vending machine Look, UTD is a pretty classy campus. We’re all pretty healthy

people, pretty up-to-date on trends and technology. A classy campus needs classy food. We’re busy, though, so we need classy food on the go. Problem is, you’re broke as hell. No judgement, but let’s not lie to ourselves… A bag of goldfish and a Monster could very well be your dinner. I mean, you COULD go to the SU vending machines or the ones in your dorm…if you’re satisfied with that. If you don’t want to strive for something greater. If you want to vend with the elite, however, may I suggest the third floor ATEC vending. It’s pretty exclusive; most people walk right past it totally ignorant to its potential. It doesn’t have time for your honey bun and Hot Cheetos nonsense. It only has quality healthy snacks for quality healthy people, like yourself. Next time you’re feeling a little fancy, stop by.

People in the SU trying to get you toHitsign a thing or miss. If it’s a hit, there will without question be a line of people that wraps all the way around the plinth. Apparently, nobody

has stuff to do, but me. If it’s a miss, you might get like a tootsie roll or something if you swoop in really quickly and speed walk away before the vendor has time to ask you your opinions on social policy.

Panda Express Delicious — obviously — and absolutely worth it if you can get

there before the lunch rush. They always have a 5-10 minute wait for teriyaki chicken, which leads me to believe they’re hoarding it all for themselves. Understandably, it’s easily the best thing on the menu besides the orange chicken. The guys at the counter are nice and totally won’t confront you if you grab more than your one allotted fortune cookie.

ThePossibly illusive “Jason’s Deli” a really mean joke that my roommates are playing on

me, but apparently there’s a super-secret Jason’s Deli in JSOM. I dare not venture into the building, as it seems like a place of stress and oppression, but I’ve heard nothing but good things about the sandwiches.

Some food trucks apparently Now, I know these exist, but I also know I can’t afford them, nor do I have time to eat from a truck on a regular basis. It’s a luxury I reserve for music festivals and gaming conventions. However, I also know that those things are just RIPE for instagramming, and, now that UTD is becoming a more campusy campus, this is the best time to get in on it early. It’s not about the food, it’s about the street cred, so if you go, tell them I sent you so I can get free food and reap the benefits of those sweet sweet insta tags.

Starbucks, duh A delightful way to fill your body with frilly drinks off campus, a fun way to wait in line for 20 years if you try to get it from the pub. The one in JSOM is infamous for having a weird taste. Save yourself the trouble and wait until you’re off campus. And if your argument is that you just want a regular Americano, then you’ve been playing yourself. Starbucks isn’t about coffee. It’s about filling your veins with instagrammable, seven syllable, rainbow colored, aesthetically pandering sugar juice and an overpriced sandwich. Come to terms with it. Fall as far as I’ve fallen.

All joking aside, this will be my last food review. I appreciate all the feedback I’ve recieved and I’ve loved the time I’ve been able to spend with the rest of the AMP staff and student media. Campus is growing like crazy and -- despite my IHOP beef -- I really have grown to love the culture...even if its not a traditional one. Stay involved and enjoy your time while you can! I know I have.

BRYAR BENNETT senior | EMAC When she’s not designing this specific magazine, Bryar is demanding Funny Face Pancakes at IHOP

may 2017

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Editors’ Desk Election the super official websiteSeason publication of

C

overing Student Government elections is very difficult for the student body as a whole does little to indicate that. Their online AMP. Since we send our stories printisatchanging. the end of everycomputer meeting haven’t been published since November of 2016, The to world These thingsminutes that have infiltratmonth, our March issueed is our finished candidates it diffiRecognizing cult to quickly lives? before They are the future.are Booksmaking are the past. thisfigure out what Student Government is announced, and our Aprilfact, issue is published after elections planning for students. Checking many print media outlets have invested in online distribution of their social media presence also isn’t are over. Because of this, our involvement often desperately been minimal. help. Scrolling through the past academic year primarily yields their printhas content, trying tomuch stay afloat in the rising tide of Last year, however, we were able toclickbait critiqueand the rapidly shortcomings the posts on a resolution concerning the bathroom bill, the introduction sinkingofattention spans. However, by attempting election through our post-electiontoUnElection campaign, in which on the of internet, hammocks campus, replicate their print publication theytoare makingand a a few advertisements for sponsored we managed to gather more votesfundamental in a fake election Student events leadingthat up to election week. mistake.than To stay successful,political they must recognize with Government did in their actual elections. the UnElection wasfundamental It is unreasonable expectand students to be engaged in a dialogue changesWhile in technology have come changes in thetohabits fun in its own right, it also showcased a lack of student withaccordingly. Student Government when so little information is digitally desires of their readers.engagement They must respond and enthusiasm with Student Government. Unfortunately, accessible. The simple rebuttal This is why, as our finalwe acthave as editors, we have decided to get AMP to these criticisms is that students not observed many signs of improvement thiswith pastthe year. should meet with Student caught up times. We’ve pushedcan forand a full integration of real, gen- Government Senators in person In the eyes of AMP, an organization committedcontent to promoting to discuss theirinissues and concerns. However, blaming lack of uine, online-native in order to keep us relevant an increasingly campus dialogue and facilitating the development of a face shared students digital world. Let’s thecampus facts; print engagement is dead. Whatonuse is thereisfornot an effective solution. Until Student culture, the most important function of Student Government Government effectively demonstrates how it can tangibly assist and print media when online quizzes,islisticles, and podcasts are available in to serve as a communication bridge the hands? studentAbsolutely body and none! inform students, students lack a reason to care. thebetween palm of our So we’ve decided to upgrade! administration. Ideally, Student Government be in an tune yearly test ofapproach StudenttoGovernment’s success with student Welcome towould MocMunch integrated,Across-platform with the questions, concerns, problems, ideas of engineered a broad and engagement is and the satire election content and presentation to deliver the opinion youprocess. In recent years, this test has representative cross-section of the want student body, wouldBearing organize resulted in an uncontested coronation ceremony, and an election as fast as and possible. absolutely no resemblance to BuzzFeed, and advocate for those ideas before administration. Conversely, whose abysmal spurred us to mock it. This year we planned our original web publication is both AMP as you could turnout never imagine public communication from Student should provide a it.to drum up Innovative participation and awareness by running our andGovernment AMP as you have always known It’shelp bold yet subtle. way for students to better understand the administrative decisionown presidential candidate, and joining in on the fun. However, yet classic. Raw yet polished. Tomorrow’s dinner outing, yet yesterday’s making process at UTD. Student home-cooked Government can properly fillwe’re this exciting a combination leftovers. And for you to seeofit bylaws in all of that its restrict presidential eligibility to role only if it regularly communicates and engages with students of previous full-term Student Government Senators, and inter-Student beauty. all backgrounds and pursuits. The AMP UnElection our wasWeb just Editor one quit Government politics and relationships made it difficult to find ...Unfortunately, (ignore his signature at the botexample of how little Student Government haspage) doneafter toward this end. a candidate place pay under tom of this a lengthy argument over whotoshould for our the banner. Regardless of how we end For the average student to getpizza moreatinvolved with ifthe Student participating thisand month, the onus is on Student Government our meeting, Paul McCartneyupwas alive or dead, whether Government process, Student Government must takefor theUltra-Rad-Location initiative to transform what has consistently been referred to as an apathetic URL actually stood (I was wrong on that one, to actively connect with studentsbut andstill encourage them tohis engage. body. The United States presidential election and turnout right to demand resignationstudent — never question authority). However, a cursory search for what Student Government UTD’s party demonstrated that students can be With no means of putting actually this content at online, dearelection readers,night we have does yields few results. This is bydecided no means sayingit upon that Student to care about theiris country. They can also care about their to bestow you in print, motivated but make no mistake, print still Government does nothing on campus; a talk with any content Studentmay be school. this election, we hope to see Student dead. While some of the a littleWhatever difficult tohappens access withGovernment Senator quickly reveals many initiatives they’ve been Government do more why they are essential to our outthe “clicking” or “downloading” or “movement”, we trust you’llto bedemonstrate able to working on. However, their public figure presence andAfter communication with is just campus’s future. it out. all, the internet flashy print, isn’t it?

Zachary Boullt - Editor-in-Chief

Nicholas Provenghi - Web Editor

Maisha Razzaque - Marketing Director

Matt Carpenter - Managing Editor

Bryar Bennett - Art Director


Contents

Previously: AMP (Boring Shit)

10 GIFs that Embody UTD Majors AMP Started a Podcast and Temoc Is Shook 6 UTD Headlines That’ll Make You Go WTF

Z I QU

QUIZ: Where Should You Go Online Since Club Penguin Died?

The 10 Times I Was Ignored by Rami Malek on Twitter ZODIAC: What Cursed Thing Is Going to Happen to You After Graduation?


10 GIFs that Will Speak to You Spirit These Majors Maisha Razzaque Marketing Director

1. Political Science No explanation needed. All poli-sci majors know this feeling exactly. What better describes when you have to go meet Dr. Whatever to turn in your paper thing?

2. History Sometimes that grind is so real that those brass buttons can’t contain them. History majors know what I mean.

3. Computer Science Talk about a “hard-relate” when it comes to the CS department. Ctrl-alt-B that content or so help me.

4. ATEC How do you capture the true essence of catching wind in your wings and lifting off ? Ask any ATEC major and they wil affirm the following: Dreams don’t work unless you do.

5. Biomedical Engineering A true engineer is one who is a limited edition. Bet you’re thinking about some photocopies right about now. #BMECulture

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tually if You’re a UTD Student in 6. Finance Have you ever left a finance major a voice message? It’s because they’re not picking up the phone, and probably because they’re doing this (see left).

7. Actuarial Sciences You’d be doing a spit-take too if you are an actuarial science-ing while everyone else stays lounging. Ain’t no thang when you’re on the path to greatness.

8. Neuroscience It’s all in the brains, man. You know when you go to the vending machine and try to buy a Butterfinger, but instead of B8, you type F8 and get a Payday instead? That’s all brains.

9. Electrical Engineering Marty McFly? More like Marty McBye... That’s how I feel about this major.

10. Informational Systems and Technology Sensors indicate that when it comes to majors that know how to party hardy at UTD, the Info Systems PEEPS are definitely not one of them.

may 2017

23


AMP Started a Podcast and Temoc is Shook MocMunch Staff

Episode 1: From the SU to SoundCloud

0:00/1:00:00

AMP is proud to introduce our first-ever podcast, A Modest Podcast. Clocking in at exactly one hour long, we’ve got tons of great content lined up for you today. Featuring the best commentary you can find on world and campus events, a live acapella rendition of Cher’s “Believe” by our very own editor-in-chief, and an interview with the elusive Chartwells CEO, this is an episode you won’t want to miss! Stay tuned all the way to the end for a special announcement involving a certain mascot. So plug your headphones in, press play, lean back, and let our soothing voices tell you not only how to think, but what to think.

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6 WTF UTD Headlines Professor Talks Politics In Front of Students… Should He Be Fired??? Political science professor Dr. Edward Harpham, Dean of the Hobson Wildenthal Honors College, reportedly mentioned the existence of political parties in a lecture to his political science students early last week, sparking debate over whether students should be exposed to the idea of differing opinions. “I always thought that all politicians got along perfectly,” lamented a triggered student, “but now I don’t know what…

Stunning: Compassionate UTD Student Helps Friend on Test by Giving Her the Answers In a beautiful display of care and friendship, local student Sally Smith stood up in the middle of her stats exam, walked over to her friend’s desk, and planted the answers right in front of her. When the professor became angry, Sally gave her one look and said “Look, Teach, what’s more important, school, or your friends?” The professor sat down and put her head in her hands...

WOW! Ingenious Student Saves Art Barn By Renaming It STEM Barn Although no changes will be made in how the space is utilized, this student’s brilliant plan to change the name to STEM Barn not only saved the building from demolition but actually brought the university more research money. With one less building with “art” in its name, more donors felt comfortable throwing heaps of cash...

You Won’t Believe These Stories From President Benson’s WILD Past MocMunch spoke with two former Princeton students who attended the esteemed university many years after Dr. Benson graduated. Their tales, which defy belief, detail the shocking escapades of UTD’s president during his undergraduate years. “Now you won’t believe this one bro, they had the FBI on his ass and everything. I heard this from a fraternity brother, who heard it from his girlfriend, who heard it from her lab partner, who heard it from her TA, who heard it from some drunk dudes at a party...

Bruised and Delirious Jesus Found on the ATEC Building Roof after Hailstorm “The logistics of the second coming were poorly planned. I honestly don’t understand how he thought this would end well,” said a UTD atmospheric physics researcher, upon analyzing the startling scene that greeted the UTD community the morning after a violent hailstorm. After being removed from the roof by Facilities Management, Jesus was evaluated for a concussion and transported to Presbyterian Dallas for further treatment. The devout should expect a delay…

Meet UTD’s Most Dedicated Alums: They’ve Been Paying Student Loans Since the University was Founded It’s one thing to support UTD when you’re rich. It’s another thing to lock yourself into a spiral of never ending, always-increasing student loan debt — and these alumni have done just that. One of these heroes spoke to MocMunch in an exclusive interview (watch the full interview here). “Eugene McDermott himself convinced me to attend. After all of these years, I’ve only cried four or five times while writing the checks.” When asked about the enduring value of her education...

may 2017

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QUIZ: What Online Community Should You Join Now that Club Penguin Is Dead Maisha Razzaque Marketing Director

1. Pick a cursor.

(pick if you want to get Neopets)

(pick if you want to get DeviantArt)

(pick if you want to get Runescape)

(pick if you want to get Webkinz)

2. What song autoplays on your blog?

“My Immortal” Evanescence

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“Wonderwall” OASIS

“Teenagers”

My Chemical Romance

“Wake Me Up When September Ends” Green Day


3. Pick a ~sick~ email signature. Sent from my iPhone

~Regards from my Twisted Mind~

Whooshfully Yours

A Minion Meme

4. You’re walking in the woods... There’s no one around

And your phone is dead

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him

Shia LaBeouf

5. Who is the best penguin in Club Penguin?

Capt. Rockhopper (the pirate)

Aunt Arctic (the liberal media)

Gary

(The secret agent scientist)

Sensei

(The Penguin sensei)

6. How mad are you 7. SERIOUSLY Most Definitely Pissed about Club Penguin? Lukewarm

Ambivalent

Heated

Definitely Pissed

Click here for your results! may 2017

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The 10 Times I Tweeted My Celebrity Crush and They Ignored Me MocMunch Staff

Some call it obsessive. Some may refer to your efforts as superfluous or absurd. You call it “never giving up.” So what if your numerous attempts to get your celebrity crush — no, celebrity soulmate — to notice you have been met with disappointment? No quest is without its uphill battles. Let this walk-through guide take you back to marvel at your various milestones in which you were ignored by your famous beloved.

1. The Initial Offer

Remember when you made your humble intentions known? You were young and fresh, and the world was at your feet (fingertips). There was endless possibility on the horizon.

2. Flattery

Some time has passed and you’ve adopted a more sophisticated approach. After all, flattery can get you anywhere, and there’s nothing quite like a misplaced @ on a sleepy sunday afternoon to get someone’s attention.

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3. Subtle Persistence

When working on a project to get someone’s attention, one must have an apt sense of when to step up their A-game. If this means building pressure on your target to achieve your ends, so be it.

4. Desperation

It’s not difficult to see when an artist’s limits are pushed. There comes a time when the tone of hopeful perseverance becomes one of desperate urgency.


5. The Descent

Gone are the days of enthusiastic endeavors. This is when you had to really throw your punches specifically, but you knew things could get ugly.

6. Resentment

When you pulled out the hashtags, everyone knew you meant business. There’s nothing flattering or sweet about this approach, but you kept telling yourself, the end justifies the means.

7. Heckling

You had to resort to replying to his tweets directly. This is an aggressive yet necessary move.

8. Throwing Subtlety Out the Window

This is when you had to reveal your plans to your target. There’s no hint of subtlety in this content, but time is running out. He is getting more famous, and you are getting more impatient.

9. Defeat (Nearly)

Some may have told you it’s impossible to guilttrip someone who doesn’t know who you are. You told them that Copernicus was once told the world couldn’t possibly be revolving around the sun.

10. How the Tables Have Turned

Meant to be your last Hail Mary, you pulled other people into the equation. Although, despite your failures, you know that this couldn’t possibly be the end.

From all this, you should not be discouraged. Rather, you should be astonished at your progress. So you might have to sacrifice your time, personal relationships, and sanity. In the end, it’s all about that mention.

may 2017

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ZODIAC: What Cursed Thing Is Going to Happen to You After Graduation? MocMunch Staff

Aries

While you’re taking post-ceremony graduation pictures in front of the reflecting pool, the hyper-competitive kid from your capstone seminar shoves you into the water for outdoing his project with your thesis on why Texas needs to rethink agri-business. Your class ring gets lodged in a stone at the bottom of the pool and is lost indefinitely.

Taurus

You sent in your headshot and acting reel to a casting agent. You do not hear back from him. Weeks later, the acting reel has been edited to make you look like a fool and distributed across the internet. Your mother calls you to mock you and asks if you are moving back home.

Gemini

As you’re walking to a job interview, a strong gust of wind knocks your resume out of your hand and into an abandoned alley. There, a small garbage fire is going to engulf the document. While you try to retrieve your resume, your eyebrows will be burned off. Will you get the job? TBD.

Cancer

You get a job with Texas Instruments, but when you arrive for your first day of work, you realize that it’s actually the Texas Instruments Jazz Band. Thankfully, you’ve seen La La Land, but your attempts to save jazz prove futile once someone replaces the sound of your piano keys with the cries of the top 88 Pokémon.

Leo

You’re going to take on a paid internship at a company you hope to work at. There, your boss Agatha makes you pick up her green smoothie at 5 a.m. sharp everyday. On Thursday, you are expected to give her dog, Tinsel, a canine pedicure (he’s a biter). You will work there until your dreams and ambitions wither away into nothing.

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Virgo

You purchase your first used car by yourself, only to discover the old vinyl seats are infested with bed bugs. Unsure how to take care of the situation, you sell the car to an unsuspecting buyer. That night you dream of bed bugs.

Libra

You send out applications to 15 different grad schools to major in philosophy and get rejected from 14 of them. You only hear from the 15th when they tell you your application was terminated due to inactivity after the acceptance email got buried amongst your orders for healing crystals, arthouse films on Laserdisc, and imported Tibetian tea.

Scorpio

You find yourself wandering the downtown streets lit only by red neon at 3 a.m. In the street, you step over a manhole cover and a jet of steam shoots out, disorienting you and clouding your mind for the next few months, leading to you inadvertently blaming your boss for your high school angst and telling your mom that you’re quitting to pursue a career in social work.

Sagittarius

The only graduation you saw was your high school graduation because you got expelled after spray painting “succ my ass” on the lockers of the ATEC building after the fumes got to you while you were trying to finish one of your five final projects in your sophomore year. Those damn cameras ratted you out.

Capricorn

You start a job at city council only to be implicated and framed in a blackmail scandal regarding a highly respected senator. You are tried and found guilty despite your innocence. The damning piece of evidence? A video of when you tried doing standup in college, emailed to the senator by a jealous coworker using your account.

Aquarius

You join a political movement and swear off bathing for four months while using your leftover grant money to travel to a developing country. The experience sours once you get word from the State Department that ties your stolen passport to a terrorist working in the slums of Southeast Asia.

Pisces

You’re strolling down a beach, teacup yorkie in tow as you sip a kale-based smoothie while humming a sophisticated yet catchy song. Life is grand, until a tsunami washes over the beach, and you find your dog has woken you from a dream by knocking over the half-empty glass of sparkling water from last night that you hoped would soothe the bitter loneliness. may 2017

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AMP (May 2017)  

It's the May edition of AMP, UT Dallas' one and only student opinion magazine!