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Columbia Graduate School of Arts and Sciences ​hey everybody you know what day it is are you ready it's finally Friday and I'm so excited this week has been long it's like home alone if any of you remember that kudos to you because that means you're as old as I am so anyway today is finally Friday I'm not gonna hit the road of running but I'm gonna go out with some friends so that'll be cool we're gonna mingle Sean and I are gonna mingle with other couples have a couple date of sorts it should be very fun um so I have three questions that I'm gonna answer from Facebook for those of you who are new don't forget to subscribe because I put out videos five days a week you want to miss them but on Fridays think of it's very alliterative if any of you were in journalism you know what that means that F for Friday is Facebook I'm on Facebook so if you use the hashtag Katy a Q I found him and I have three and I have a drill topic from Carly thanks Carly so I'll use that later but first I don't want to forget I got this amazing gift in the mail and it was packaged so beautifully and so amazingly and I showed it on Instagram if any of you send me stuff to my p.o box which I'll put the peal box in the description below if any of your like we're how do I send you thanks Katie cuz everybody loves getting mail right I personally love cards in general and I send them to a lot of my friends any of you who are watching you're like yes sends cards all the time but this I know took an extreme amount of time and if any of you send me things in the mail follow me on instagram katimorton1 there's some lady in Africa who's Kati Marton but I'm Kati Marton what I'm number one anyway but this person Sarah Thank You Sarah this is amazing cross stitched have any of you ever learned a cross stitch I used to do it as a kid and first of all it's really difficult so look at this beautiful tree this says be gentle with yourself and then on the back of this amazing poem I'm not going to read you because that would be the whole video and but anyway it's a really a beautiful poem so thank you so much Sarah this is amazing that trying to get it without the glare of the light do you see beautiful um but I think it's great for us to find projects and things that we can put our time and effort into because it I don't know Sarah you can let us know but I find doing things like cross stitched especially because you really have to focus and you have it around I had this like circle wood thing that you like pull the fabric through then you're following the line you get a pattern it's like it's a lot of work but it keeps focus and sometimes we were having trouble you know I talk about talking back to those voices when we're having trouble talking back to those voices we're just having trouble in general and life is just sometimes really poopy and we're like wow I feel like a dark dreary cloud is just hanging over me it could be great to focus on something else to have a project put something together because I think that's why I love doing those things because at the end you're like well I've accomplished this then you have this like beautiful piece that you get to share with people and so if there's any project whether it's even making a music list or something that can feel really cool then you put on your car and you jam out your good music maybe you want to learn to cross stitch maybe you want to knit maybe you'd like to paint maybe you'd like to learn guitar or maybe you'd like to collage or maybe any of those things I'm sorry to encourage all of you to you know start projects like that if you're really having a hard time because sometimes it's just nice to have something we can do to distract and I'm always open to getting beautiful pieces like this so again thank you Sarah for sending that was really sweet and like I said if any of you send me stuff and you're like hey Kati but I sent you this and that I put it on Instagram so make sure you follow me there because I always make sure to post so that you know I received things because we all know the post office is a little but then you'll know that I got it okay now I know I've been rambling so let's get down to business question number one heya Katie well hey yourself I was just wondering what do therapists think of online eating disorder communities well with I think it's freaking awesome you should get on but she says such as Instagram and Tumblr I mean obviously Pro Anna's and whatnot can be very dangerous and damaging but how about people taking photos of every meal to eat and then others commenting sometimes I think it can be kind of helpful but also it can get obsessive and people start to get competitive and make comparisons how can we know if it's helpful or harmful to us I'd love to know your thoughts thank you and this is a great question because she points out a something that I don't think we talked about enough having a community which I've tried I'm doing my best to try to create through this and on is a healthy happy supportive community and that can be really tricky because I obviously I wouldn't allow photos of food and back on food I don't allow numbers I know I haven't gotten into my rules I had rules of the website when I first started and I was very adamant I know that they're listed on the website in the chats in the forums and stuff before you get in you have to read that maybe I should put those in bolder spots but anyway I'm getting off-topic um it is so important that we don't share things like food we don't comment on what

they're eating I don't think that's very healthy I think a lot of it is eating disorder driven it can also build competition I think we forget how competitive our eating disorders are when we start to get into recovery forget how nasty they can be and even if we ourselves are doing well and we're posting these photos I oftentimes think for the people receiving them it can be really difficult and then we compare like well she had that and I had more and oh my god that makes me this or I had so much less and then I should beat him who knows what you're eating sore is gonna do with that information and I think we have to protect ourselves from getting too much of that information so I would encourage all of you before you hop online before you start joining you know different following different people and joining different eating disorder communities I want you to really assess whether you think if I was looking think what would Kati think would she look at this and be like or would she be like yeah that's awesome I would link that on my website because I get a lot of requests from people in general about like hey I'm starting this and I'm doing this and would you please tell your you know your community about these things and I'm really protective of you I'm like a big mama bear and I will hurt people I don't like them posting things or trying to advertise things that are bad so I just say no usually and then I I mean obviously look into it but most the time it's like no I don't think that's really healthy so you should be the same with yourself think what would Kati think would she share this with us or would she be like and that should pretty much alleviate any worry of that okay I hope that helps but I love the positive communities for many of you orchestrating you know safe places for people to communicate and I don't know propagate recovery and help everyone support each other I think those are great so keep those up and I love finding out about those when you tag me in photos on Instagram or link me to stuff keep it up okay course number two hey Katie sorry for the very long question but I was wondering do you think it's important for parents to talk to their children about their mental health good question I had no idea my mom had depression until I found antidepressants in our cabinet and I questioned her considering we are struggling with the same thing I would think it'd be nice if she had told me what do you think I have to agree I think well not really I guess you didn't agree you just asked what I thought but I can tell through this that you thought it'd be helpful if she shared it with you and I honestly believe when I don't have children first of all so I'm gonna throw that out there so that I think that in a way that I lack an experience with it but I also know what it's like to be human and I know what it's like to to be a woman and also as a nanny for many years and you know I parented many children and I think it's important to communicate with children in general I think the more that we talk to them and the more they understand what's going on the better they're able to to understand the relationship and what's going on the family the more communication in general in LA in our lives the better because often I find the biggest fights the biggest struggles and the biggest concerns and families and friends come from miscommunication or lack of communication so when people don't communicate clearly things get all gobbledygook and people get confused and feelings get hurt and we can feel lost and left out like we haven't you know if I would have known you were struggling with it too maybe we could have worked on this together and I think that's really powerful so I believe that if I was struggling with depression I would talk to my children about what it is and how it makes me feel and then it's nothing that they've done cuz I find in my practice lata my children will there a lot of my children a lot of my patients who are children of someone who's depressed they will feel like they've done something wrong and that's why mom is lashing out that's why mom sleeps all day that's why dad does that you know do you think that it's because you've done something so that's I feel like the more we talk about it the less stigmas attached to it first of all hey and secondly it can really help our relationships with our parents and also help our family to feel free to talk about things and have more healthy communication does that make sense I hope that does because I think that's really important okay question number three hey Kati I have to arrive to questions but I'm gonna answer one I already answered your other one so I have depression anxiety and I self-harm does this mean that my children will be at a higher risk to develop any of these as they age since I already have them it's very interesting genetics in mental health we're actually making huge strides so I I may not be up to date but I did a quick little research through some of the sites that I usually look through a lot of the educational sites that I follow to find out if the percentage has gone up but I believe if you struggle with depression let's just pick one if you struggle with depression they know genetically and I forget the chromosome that they're linking it to I think e disorders are chromosome 9 or 10 anyway but there's different chromosomes they follow and they find that children of people with depression have a 25% increased rate so whatever the normal rate is which I don't know the percentage chance that you will have depression I know that millions and millions people have it but then it increases that by 25% and I know if both of your parents have something like let's say both your parents have schizophrenia or a different mental illness I know schizophrenia off the top of my head I believe you almost have a 50% chance of getting it if both your parents are schizophrenic so genetics play an important role in what we become so definitely our children are more predisposed to struggle with the same things we struggle with that's why alcoholism runs in families that's why depression runs in families bipolar disorder runs in families that's why when you

go in to see a physician or a therapist for the first time they often take a family history and they'll ask things like everything from today may your family have heart disease or high cholesterol or high blood pressure what about depression bipolar disorder anorexia they'll ask you questions like that because we know that it there is a genetic predisposition so I would just be aware of the fact that your children may struggle with those things and you can be proactive make sure we're working on healthy coping skills right maybe they take up some cross-stitch maybe you put them in music I find the more we talk to people especially our children about ways that we cope and how we can better cope together and you know since we've had a week how about we go for a walk with the dog and we talk about it or however you want to give them outlets I find the more we give our children outlets the better and the more healthy way they can cope in the future so we'll just try to be a good example right okay journal topic from Carly thanks Carly it says life is way too short to spend another day at war with yourself I love that I'm gonna read it one more time life is way too short to spend another day at war with yourself so let's try to take a break from our war for this weekend and I want you to notice what it's like when you're not actually fighting against yourself because life is hard enough right without us fighting against ourselves think about it okay I'll see you all on Monday love you and Tuesday I'll be on tumblr so ask your questions there bye SUNY Cobleskill.