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Michigan Men Seeking


2013 We Need Stronger Men


Staying For a Lifetime

The Christian Professional MONSTERS

Why Men’s Ministry? FOCUS

Bearing Temptation

By Brenda Leeman

Re-Motivating Men



ear Brethren:

Our goal in 2013 is Answering the Call to Mobilize Apostolic Men – to motivate them to get their hands into the harvest – the Men’s Ministry of the United Pentecostal Church, International, is striving daily: ll To link the many men across our District! ll To establish our Fall District Men’s Conference as a powerful meeting place exclusively for men and their sons. ll To develop and disseminate meaningful resources for men in every church.

 It will facilitate the pastor’s unending effort to build better men – and thereby grow greater churches. A vibrant ministry to men will not be an additional burden – but rather, an invaluable aid.

Our most important events of 2013

- June 16th 2013 Father’s Day Offering (goal $10,000.00) --September 20th - 21st Momentum Men’s Conference



Why Men’s Ministry?


Because the threat to Godliness is so great – and the opportunity before us so immeasurable – ministry to men is an idea whose time has come.  It will afford your church the chance to equip and enlist men to display Christ-centered perspectives in their homes, churches, and communities.  It will enable you to under-gird Godly men in the quest to find and fulfill their calling in Christ.  It will create a meaningful forum in which you can motivate and mobilize the Apostolic men around you.

Michigan Disctrict Men’s Director






Michigan District

Men’s Committee Art Wilson

Pastor of The International Church of Metro Detroit Michigan District Men’s Director

Dwaine Chapdelain


Tim Richmond

Pastor of Solid Rock Church of Monroe/Clinton Section 1



Minister at Cornerstone Pentecostal Church Michigan Men’s Secretary Section 4

Mike Brown

Pastor of Crossroads Apostolic Church Section 2

Doug Wright

Pastor of Cornerstone Apostolic Church Section 5

Richard Fairfeild


Pastor of Abundant Life Apostolic Church Section 6



The Christian Professional by: Andrew Tennyson




he receding waters of the 2005 tsunami and hurricane disasters left behind not only tremendous devastation but newfound evidence of the capacity of concerned people to help their fellow man like never before. Within days of the natural disasters, the Western world responded with unprecedented giving totaling billions of dollars. Perhaps the most crucial gift came from professionals who volunteered their time and skills, making immediate relief possible to millions. The greatest number of these professionals came from the Christian community, providing evidence of God’s love at work in this often harsh world. An unintended result of the selfless sacrifice of these Christian volunteers was the natural reflection of the great truth that there is a personal God who cares. These men in motion obviously believe faith is better shown than spoken. If there is a silver lining in the clouds of 2005’s great tragedies, it is that when the world cried, Christians responded with love in action. The beautiful revelation of last year’s giving is that today’s world, globalized and technologically advanced, provides a historically unique opportunity for the church to illuminate God’s love to people at their point of need. The Christian professional who volunteers for humanitarian service is a key end-time courier of the essence of the gospel of Jesus. Compassion Services International (CSI) is a non-

profit private volunteer organization originated by the United Pentecostal Church International. CSI organizes and facilitates disaster relief and humanitarian aid projects around the world, and it knows well the value of the Christian professional who volunteers his time. Last year CSI facilitated disaster relief and aid projects that included many Pentecostal medical professionals. As well as maintaining full-time primary health care clinics in countries such as El Salvador and Pakistan, CSI organized ten medical mission trips in 2005 via its Mercy Medical Network program. Also, days after the Asian tsunami, CSI’s assessment team, including two medical professionals, toured the country of Sri Lanka, giving relief and desperately needed medical assistance in tsunami refugee camps and villages while developing a strategic plan for long-term relief. The subsequent relief plan and funds raised by CSI produced months of ongoing medical and reconstruction support. USA and Asian Pentecostal medical professionals from CSI’s Mercy Medical Network volunteered and maintained the longterm medical relief project. Although CSI works primarily abroad, many Pentecostal professionals volunteered to organize Katrina relief operations on the U.S. Gulf Coast.

need for loving assistance from the global community. Many humanitarian aid organizations offer opportunities for professionals to volunteer their services. It is generally understood that the professional is volunteering a crucial service to the relief work, and therefore, it need not be given at the sacrifice of his career or personal financial stability. Organizations like Compassion Services International almost exclusively focus on short-term opportunities for which professionals can volunteer. For the Christian professional who is looking for a forum in which to contribute, he can contact CSI via its Web sitewww. or by calling 314-805-4438. The prayer for 2006 is for more Pentecostal professionals to awake to the understanding of the timeliness of their education and skill as a powerful communicator of the message of God’s kingdom.

Andrew Tennyson serves as the international liaison officer for Compassion Services International (CSI) of the United Pentecostal Church International


Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we…?’ Then the King will say, ‘…Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me’ (Matthew 25:34-36 The Message). As always God provides the opportunity for believers to fulfill His Scripture. Could it be that catastrophes and poverty on such a grand scale around the world are providing a proving ground for the church’s love and a forum for God’s gospel of saving grace? Millions of people globally suffer from the effects of poverty. Conditions are often worsened by wars and natural disasters leading to human tragedies such as the homelessness of refugees, premature death because of a lack of basic health care, and even starvation. While the issues surrounding each community’s calamity are often complex and unique, there is always a fundamental










s men, from the early days of boyhood we have been fascinated, some even obsessed, with a singular achievement: strength. We will work all of our lives to be strong. Whether it’s mentally, intellectually, physically, on the court or on the job, we want to be the best. The truth of the matter is we can’t help it. It’s in our DNA. It’s the way God fashioned us. It’s why we like to wrestle and why we played games like “King of the Mountain”, “Cowboys and Indians,” and “Cops and Robbers.” All of these are geared toward showing off our strengths, agility, and ultimately our prowess. It helps us measure and prove ourselves as men. So the question is, do these traits of manhood translate to the spiritual man? Or better yet, should they? I believe the answer is a resounding yes! Luke 11:21 says,


When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace:”


Verse 22 says, “But when a stronger man than he attacks and defeats him, the stronger man strips off that man’s armor in which he trusted and then divides his plunder.” So as men, we naturally are aware that we need to be as strong as possible – on guard at all times so that one stronger does not defeat us. God, in all of His wisdom, made us perfect and in His own image. He designed us to strive to be the best, to naturally assume the role

of protector, defender, provider, and hunter…ultimately a leader. It’s why some of our favorite Bible stories are of David, Sampson and even Goliath. Up to this point, it all sounds good doesn’t it? Strong, mighty, protector and defender. It has a certain ring that appeals to us men. However, there is a stark reality that we all know and face.

None of us are truly, completely, and perfectly strong. Just like David, Sampson, and Goliath, we all have weaknesses. We have areas in our lives we know we need to strengthen or work on. Inwardly, this knowledge constantly frustrates and hinders us in our walk with God. Outwardly, we just deny it or refuse to acknowledge it. We pretend we are strong and work hard to maintain the facade that all is okay simply because we don’t know how to handle our weakness. We’ve been taught, straight out of the Handbook for Men, that you never show or admit weakness…right? WRONG! Paul said, “for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me”. Knowing and acknowledging where we need help is the first step towards a perfect strength. A physically strong man is a person who knows where he is weak and compensates for that weakness.

I’ll leave you with a favorite passage of mine, Hebrews 11:3234: And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies.

A spiritually strong man does no less! He never ceases to work and challenge himself in the areas that he struggles in. He tells someone of his weakness and is accountable in those areas. He is wise enough to know that he needs help and humble enough to ask for it. He knows that if he falls, “the stronger man will strip off his armor”. The cost of losing is too great, too

tragic for him to let pride get in the way or to worry about what someone may think. He understands the words of Proverbs 24:6: “For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellers there is safety.” Another interpretation says this: “For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory.” A very wise man once told me, “True accountability strips the enemy of all his power.” This does not line up to our manly vision of victory that would show us standing on the battlefield, the enemy at our feet, with our sword raised for all the world to see. The reality is this only applies to books or daydreams. True victory over sin, over weakness, over darkness, is won together.

PJ Dial is a husband, father and servant of Christ. He grew up in Royalwood and is involved in several aspects of ministry including Praise & Worship, Anthem Student Ministries and currently serves on Royalwood’s Board.


The best athletes in the world constantly work on and adjust their game and their approach. They’re not content or fooled by their own abilities. You’ll see it in the football player taping a bad ankle, a basketball player staying after practice to shoot free throws or a boxer working on his footwork in preparation for an opponent with a longer reach. Strong men do this every day. It’s what makes them champions.

These all were strong men, faithful men, whose weakness was turned to strength. My favorite part: they became powerful IN the battle. God gave them power, not before the battle, not as a result of the battle, but during the battle. Keep fighting!



{ [TRUST] } Written by: Paul Castañeda Proverbs 3:5-7 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”




s we’ve come out of another year and rolled into 2013, we continue to see the fulfillment of the enduring Word of God. Knowledge is being increased at a rapid pace! In the ever changing times, God has absolutely no problem with His church expanding in new methods as to being relevant in this hour! However, there is to be no deviance from the gospel message given by Jesus himself to His disciples, who in turn were to take to the entire entire world! The faith once delivered to the saints(Jude v.3), is of old, even everlasting! This one and only saving message is the one we must continue to earnestly contend for, and it is the same one the world will continue to fight against! With the times changing and the methods ever expanding, we as the church must continue to stand and trust God that His message has been sealed, from the very beginning and will be to the very end! “....the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.”(Rev. 13:8) “That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first TRUSTED in Christ. In whom ye also TRUSTED, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation in whom also, after that ye

believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.”(Eph. 1:12-14) In order to move forward, it is imperative that we go back to the basic fundamental truth of simply....TRUST GOD! There are numerous examples of those in the Word of God we can look to for enlightenment, but one in particular that catches my attention, just happens to be known as a man after God’s own heart! I’d say he’s one we could learn from when it comes to this word TRUST! TRUST(Webster’s): Assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. One in which confidence is placed.

Psalm 11:1 “In the LORD put I my trust: how say ye to my soul, Flee as a bird to your mountain?” see, he remembered how he faced a giant named Goliath and how, even as a young man, stepped up and uttered the oft quoted words:

1Sam. 17:45-46 “….Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts….” (46) This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee….that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.” So in the midst of a present “giant”circumstance, David continued to trust in the LORD His God! Something else is rising against me, but as the lion and bear found out….so will you! I’m trusting again, in the name of the LORD! And it’s not me who’s going to flee, but those that come against me! He didn’t flinch when it was the Philistine’s (the world)! It was they who fled when David cut off the head of their champion! What took him a little by surprise was, king Saul, one of God’s chosen (church), when he tried to kill David! But regardless of even some from within the camp…. the Bible says, Saul feared him because he knew the LORD was with David! David may have questioned why both sides rose up against him, those in world and those even in the church….and may not have recognized himself sometimes that God was with

See when we do as David, and just continue to behave wisely, and just trusting the One we say is our God….THE GOD…. we obtain the assurance and the peace of God ourselves, but even our enemy becomes afraid of us! David fixed his own heart as well as encouraged others to….TRUST in the LORD! Twelve times in the book of Psalms….he references the past….TRUSTED! Fifty times in the book of Psalms….he refers to the present….TRUST! Eight times in the book of Psalms….TRUSTETH….this is what I’m going to continue to do! He knew before Goliath, there was a lion and a bear! He slew Goliath, and then went on continuing to slay future giants….all because his past, present, and future was locked into TRUSTING His God!

PASTLook to where God’s brought us from….when the Lord miraculously saved us and slew our greatest enemy called SIN…. washed us with His blood and filled us with His Spirit! From that point to now….we’ve TRUSTED! Ps. 28:7 “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped….”

PRESENTBut now, I’m in the church….and still things are rising up against me! What’s going on! Question: What did David do when he slew Goliath and he fell flat on his face? He didn’t start singing and dancing, he didn’t lead a victory march with the church….NO, he ran to that fallen giant, took out Goliath’s own sword and….CUT OFF THE

HEAD OF THAT GIANT! That thing was to never, from that point on, rise against David again! Are you battling some of the same things again, that God slew down? Some same things trying to resurface in your life? Well, have YOU run to it….and CUT THAT THINGS HEAD OFF YET? If you haven’t….you still can! Ps. 31:1 “In thee, O LORD, do I put my TRUST….” (Now/Present)

FUTUREWe’ve been through some things and we’ve learned some things along the way, including, that no matter what is yet to come our way, we will continue to offer up the sacrifices of praise to God! Ps. 4:5 “Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD.” *CONTINUE to live right and put your trust in God!


Are we ASSURED and do we RELY on GOD’S character, ability, and strength? How about HIS WORD, is it TRUTH? Have there come to pass some things in your life, He said He would do? We may feel it hard to believe sometimes that God really cares about us personally. Our TRUST in God or lack of it may hinge sometimes on how significant we really are to God! David touched on this as well: Ps. 8:3,4 “When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; (4) What is man, that thou art mindful of him? And the son of man, that thou visitest him?” Let me answer the question, as to what you mean to God and what He thinks of you….with a question: WHO DOES GOD PUT HIS

TRUST IN? Since Calvary’s blood, since the power of a resurrected Savior….the vital importance of every man’s salvation was placed in the hands of the Apostles! What set them apart? What made them so different and privileged to carry the one and only message of salvation to the world? It was the same blood He cleansed you with, and the same Spirit He filled you with! Do you understand, He’s entrusted YOU….with this saving gospel? He is very mindful of YOU! He knows everything about YOU, including the number of hairs on your head! And the fact that He TRUSTS YOU and me with so much….should help us to trust Him more!

What had begun in David’s life as a young boy and would sustain him the rest of his life, eventually flowed down into his son Solomon. While he was blessed with that great wisdom and understanding to lead God’s people, he would give instruction that has flowed down to us today.


him, but….those fighting against him sure did!




“Daddy, there’s monsters under my bed!”



n Jeremiah 29:8-14 there is a wonderful passage of scripture that deals with the divine design of God for those that love him. The key verse in that passage is verse 11 which reads, “

00 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”.

Leading up to that verse is the fact that

there are as Paul cautioned the Corinthians, many voices and none of them without signification. All are ‘in the know’ and have their information from a good source. Many have a word from the Lord concerning you, or are up on the latest prophesy regarding the world situation ranging from the Middle East and National ID cards to big brothers tightening

grip to name a few. There are without a pressed to think of the time that your doubt enough prognosticators of peril daddy was afraid to look under the bed and folks with new found spiritual gifts to or check the closet. True leadership in the make one’s head spin. Everybody has an home rests on daddy, the father figure. opinion but unfortunately they all think The stalwart that knows it is impossible you need to know it. to avoid problem situations and times You may remember as a child the nights of trial, but has the ability to remember you had to have your daddy come in and that greater is He that is in me, than he check under that stirred up the probyour bed and lem in the first place. As Then shall ye call upon me, and ye that leader you may not check in your shall go and pray unto me, and I will possess all of the ancloset to clear out the monswers, but you are smart hearken unto you. sters. The imAnd ye shall seek me, and find me, enough to know where pending doom and how to find them. when ye shall search for me with all that crept under 12 Then shall ye call your heart. the blanket with upon me, and ye shall go you until you And I will be found of you, saith the and pray unto me, and I finally had to will hearken unto you. 13 Lord: and I will turn away your capscream, And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 14 And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity… Certainly, these are the last days with all Daddy would often come in like the Cav- the potential for uncertainty. More so then when Paul was preaching about alry and save the day. them, but the same God that filled you As we grew older, we became emboldwith the Holy Ghost knows these things ened and realized that there never were any monsters in the first place. With care- better than any of us and is able to keep that which is His. When we look with our ful reading we find in the verses 12-14 that God will come when we truly call on whole heart to Daddy, he will get the Him because we remember that He is the monsters out from under our bed. We need men who are able to remind us source of all truth. by their lifestyle how to grab our bootMost of the things we worry about are un- straps, know our strengths and our weakfounded and borne of our own fears or inse- nesses and lean on God to get the monsters out from under our beds. curities. The people in this passage were bound up in fear of never getting back to the promises of God. Bondage such as this is more about attitude than reality. Timothy was told to stir up the gift of God and to know that God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of love and of power and of a sound mind. When we lean on Him, He brings a peace that passes understanding. Knowledge of that kind of power is best spread by example. You would be hard


“Daddy, there’s monsters under my bed”!



Staying Married for Life




kissed my husband Charles good-bye, waved as I backed down the driveway and drove off for a weekend speaking engagement. His last words rolled across my mind. “Be safe and have fun. I realize when you come home you’ll be a new person. I’m looking forward to the changes I’ll see. “We had talked the night before about not taking each other for granted––in other words, assuming we knew all there was to know about one another––and about the importance of supporting each other as individuals with ideas, dreams and goals of our own. Yes, we were one in spirit and flesh as married partners but we were also a man and a woman who had God-given talents and gifts to share with the world. Changes and challenges were inevitable and we wanted to accept rather than resist them. We committed to praying for discernment in our relationship so we would not grow complacent.I can say today, as my mother often said about her marriage to my father, “We’re not out of the woods yet, but we’re on our way, and most important, we’re still together.” She and my dad had walked side by side and climbed over a few boulders, as well, for more than 60 years. The following suggestions for staying married for life (and happily so) are based on observations, conversations and trial and error in my marriage. They work––thanks to my parents’ example, the advice of people I admire and the counsel and prayer of an older married couple, Rob and Grace, who befriended my husband and me many years ago.Perhaps they will work for you too as you ask God for discernment, practice it and then experience the rewards and results in your marriage.

by Karen O’Connor

Be Available

Being ‘there’ for your spouse is what being married is really about. It takes time to get to know another person. If you’re not available, it can’t happen. Our friends Tom and Lou go out for dinner every Friday night and they have done so for more than 30 years. When their children were young, they hired a sitter. Nothing but a serious illness keeps them from this weekly date where they focus on one another in a relaxed setting. Russ awakens his wife Jean each morning with a cup of her favorite tea. The two then sit in bed together, talk over their plans for the day and spend a few minutes in prayer. “Our day always goes better when we pray first,” said Russ.Ginger and Alan work together in real estate—a business with unpredictable hours and lots of driving. One works in the field, the other in the office. “Believe it or not we rarely see each other during the day so we’ve made a point of having lunch together,” said Ginger. “Nothing gets in the way of that one hour when we can talk, plan, laugh and debrief.” And Sally and Dave bought a hot tub where they spend their special time together each night before going to bed. “The couple that soaks together stays together,” Sally joked. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Luke 12:34 NIV). I can say today, as my mother often said about her marriage to my father, “We’re not out of the woods yet, but we’re on our way, and most important, we’re still together.”

Have you ever walked up to someone at an event, and as you begin talking, he or she nods and makes polite sounds, but is clearly elsewhere in spirit? He scans the crowd while he’s standing with you. Or she peeks around your shoulder as if to say, “I wonder who else is here.” It’s chilling to be on the receiving end of such treatment. It’s bad enough when it occurs at a social or business gathering, but it can be devastating in a marriage. To be attentive, one must pay attention! Look your spouse in the eye. Listen for your mate’s heart, not just for his or her words. This is an area of challenge for almost everyone. We lead such busy lives that many of us have made a habit of doing more than one thing at the same time. We make phone calls while driving, cook with one hand and scribble a list with the other, cut a child’s hair as we help our mate with the monthly finances. Later we wonder where the years went and why we don’t feel as connected to our husband or wife as we hoped we would. We long for another hug. We wish we could laugh and play more. We notice a growing distance between us. If this is true for you, take heart. It’s not too late. Regardless of how long you’ve been married, you can learn from those mistakes. Each of us can choose today to start paying attention to the person we vowed to love and cherish for a lifetime.

His God instructs him and teaches him the right way”(Is. 28:26 NIV).

Be Aware

A friend of mine had a successful restaurant business for 20 years. He credited it to his weekly round-table meetings with his employees. “He knew his people would not be effective if they were carrying around emotional baggage,” said his wife Anne. Each Monday morning Frank invited them to share anything that might interfere with them doing their job. “At the end of the meeting you could feel the change in the air,” she said. “Employees felt closer to one another because they knew they weren’t alone. Other people cared.” This custom inspired me. I started practicing it

with my husband. Instead of assuming I know what’s going on with him, I pray for discernment when I suspect something is upsetting him. Then I ask if he’d like to talk and if so, I try to listen and empathize rather than rush in with a pat answer. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10.

Be Appreciative “Thank you.”

Two words spouses don’t hear often enough–– from one another: 00 “Thank you for being my love.” 00 “Thank you for working so hard for our family.” 00 “Thank you for supporting me.” 00 “Thank you for being you.” Gratitude is not an option. It’s actually God’s will. As the apostle Paul reminds us in 1 Thes. 5:16-18, “. . . give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The more we express our appreciation toward our mates, the freer we become of negative thoughts and emotions toward one another. Resentment and judgment cannot exist in the same space with appreciation. “Gratitude is the rosemary of the heart,” wrote 19th century writer Minna Antrim. How little it would take to sprinkle rosemary into the lives of our spouses. A simple ‘thank you’ every single day would do it! As we become available, attentive, aware, and appreciative toward our marriage partners, we are building a relationship that will last a lifetime— and happily.


Be Attentive



Bearing Temptation Written by Brenda Leaman Michigan District UPCI Ladies Secretary

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” I Cor 10:13 NLT



What a nice looking Apostolic family!” was my first thought as they walked through the door of the restaurant. His eyes carefully scanned the room. I assumed he was just looking to see how full the restaurant was and if there were seats available. The hostess seated them not far from my table, giving me a front row seat to all that transpired. After she handed them their menus, it became clear that the husband was more interested in who was in the restaurant than in ordering his food. He kept looking around as though he were expecting to see someone he knew. “Maybe this is a place they come to often and know a lot of people here”, was my first reaction. After they ordered their food, I began to realize that the husbands gaze seemed to constantly be turned in one particular direction. He wasn’t staring but it was obvious that something or someone definitely had his attention. I could tell that he was rather furtively glancing that way so it was obvious that he did not want to draw attention to the fact that he was intrigued by what he saw. The wife, being caught up in the children’s antics, seemed to not notice his distraction. Finally, my curiosity got the better of me. I very casually turned to see what could possibly be so interesting in the direction of his gaze. There she was! A very attractive young woman, conservatively dressed by the world’s measurement but rather seductively by Apostolic standards, was the object of his attention. Now I was definitely concerned and began to watch the couple even more closely. What I assumed was the wife’s inattention appeared to actually be her way of dealing with a behavior that

she was all too familiar with. At a moment when he seemed to be distracted, I saw her look over her shoulder in the direction of his constant gaze. Sadness instantly enveloped her face, pain filling her eyes. Obviously, she had been here before. This scenario is played out daily in the lives of many Apostolic families. Men have bought into the lie that they are genetically predisposed to this kind of behavior. Being visually stimulated creatures, they feel that it is their right to allow their eyes to gaze wherever and whenever they desire. “What’s the harm if I am not acting on my thoughts? After all, how can a man control his eyes in this day and age?” This is the response of many, yet God commands;

But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 NLT

When Jesus said this, it was completely radical, because he revealed that lust (something that happens inside your heart) is a sin just as much as an external action. What we think with our minds and desire in our hearts is a big deal. This verse certainly leaves no room for the casual observer who allows his eyes to wander freely over the feast that this world forces upon him does it? God does have an escape plan!

What Do You Really Believe? As Apostolics, we live by a higher standard than the world. We say that we believe in holiness and righteous living but if a man is indulging his eyes does he truly uphold those beliefs? When actions portray carnal desires isn’t he actually saying, “Holiness may be what I expect from my wife, but I really desire something more seductive!”? This kind of behavior creates a void in his marriage and in his wife’s self esteem. Certainly as women we must live holy and righteously to please God and not our husbands but there is an innate desire within the heart of every woman to be what her husband desires above all others. When a woman realizes that her husband has wandering eyes it can begin to make her feel insecure in their relationship and cause doubts of her attractiveness. It can be an unintentional catalyst to abandonment of holiness in order to be found more desirable. Even the most beautiful of Apostolic women can be made to feel inadequate when faced with a husband that notices other women too much. I have heard the cry of young women that say, “How can I compete with that?” when faced with the inappropriate dress and actions of women who either have no knowledge of or have abandoned holiness. Bounce Your Eyes – “Every Man’s Battle”

allow any behavior that dishonors her or dishonors your holiness values is the key to overcoming destructive habits. Develop habits that make it easier to be faithful with your eyes. Choose carefully where you sit in a restaurant. Be honest with your wife and ask to change seats if you feel threatened by the presence of temptation. She will appreciate that you care that much to avoid temptation. Honor her and protect your marriage and your families walk with God by staying true to your moral values in every aspect of your life. Make sure that your wife understands how beautiful she is to you every day. Reaffirm her place in your heart by honoring her and her walk with God. Let your behavior reflect your holiness values at all times whether in a crowd or when you are alone. The more you practice these behaviors the less you will be tempted beyond that which you can bear.


“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” I Cor 10:13 NLT

The misconception that genetics control men’s actions is a trick of Satan to try to validate the world’s acceptance of lustful behavior. God made women attracted to men and men attracted to women. This is a simple fact of being human. But that doesn’t mean it needs to dictate how we make decisions. My father-in-law, Rev. Paul Leaman, always said to his boys, “The first look is free but the second look is going to cost you something!”. 00 “Bouncing your eyes” is an incredibly simple, but difficult action. Men are designed to appreciate the beauty of women. However, they are also called to not lust after or demean women in their minds or hearts. They are called to honor their wives. When your eyes are drawn to a woman, LOOK AWAY. Immediately “bounce your eyes” like a ball off a tennis racket. This action is as simple as it gets… use the tiny muscles in your eyeballs, to pivot your eyes away from the object. In practice, it involves surrendering the lustful desires that infect your relationships with God and your wife to the Holy Spirit. This tried-and-true technique for protecting your mind and honoring your wife is taught by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker in Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series)


Michigan Men's District Magazine  
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