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...and next... The News Item A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident earlier today." The blonde starts crying and sobbing and says, "That's really, really horrible". Her husband was surprised that she was so upset and he told her, "Yes dear, it is very sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing asks, “How on earth are they going to find enough coffins for a six brazillion men?" The Monk

Gambling Johnny was a good boy but he certainly liked to gamble. All day he would bet people different things. One day his dad gets a new job, so his family have to move. Johnny's dad thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling." He calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting in your class tomorrow, but he loves to gamble, so you'll have to keep an eye on him." The teacher says, "Okay, I can handle that”. The next day, Johnny walks into class and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny." She says, "Yes, I know who you are." Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt." The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem, so she takes him up on the bet. She pulls her pants down, shows him her butt, and there is no mole. She tells him she wants the ten dollars next day without fail. That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad what had happened. His dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost." The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem." Johnny's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me 100 dollars this morning that he'd see your butt before the day was over."

Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.” “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.” The Pope A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘u-n-t’?” Only one word leaps to mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is ‘aunt.’” “Of course,” says the Pope. “Do you have a rubber?”

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Profile for The Almeria Focus

The Almería Focus - September 2019  

The Almeria Focus is a local directory and magazine distributed monthly in the Almeria province of southeast Spain.

The Almería Focus - September 2019  

The Almeria Focus is a local directory and magazine distributed monthly in the Almeria province of southeast Spain.

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