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Jokes of the Month The Sex Pill

The Letter

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor and says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realise the pill was that strong! The drug company will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "That's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway – we didn’t like the food!"

A father passing by his teenage son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read th e l et te r, w i th t r e m b l i n g h a n d s . . . "Dear, Dad. I am having to write this letter because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you face to face. I have had to elope with my new girlfriend. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad - she's pregnant; but Stacy says that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday in the distant future I'm sure we'll both be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love from your son, Joshua.” “P.S. Dad, none of the above is true! I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!”

Prescribing Medicine A doctor wanted to go hunting, so he approached his assistant. “Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow but I don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of it and any patients supposing anyone comes in.” “Yes sir!” answers Seamus. The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks “So, Seamus, how was your day?” Seamus told him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache so I gave him Tylenol.” “Good! And the second one?” asks the doctor. “The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Malox, sir.” says Seamus. “Bravo, that was the right thing to prescribe, and what about the third one?” asks the doctor. “Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opened and a woman entered. She immediately undressed herself, taking everything off and she laid down nude on the table. She spread her legs and shouted: “HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!” “Thunderin’ Jayzus, Seamus, what did you do?” asks the doctor. “I put drops in her eyes.”

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Logical I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

Profile for The Almeria Focus

The Almería Focus - September 2019  

The Almeria Focus is a local directory and magazine distributed monthly in the Almeria province of southeast Spain.

The Almería Focus - September 2019  

The Almeria Focus is a local directory and magazine distributed monthly in the Almeria province of southeast Spain.

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