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What grade are you in? Seniority, seniority, seniority. If you are a sophomore and find yourself with the same dress style and color as an upperclassman, you should strongly consider

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Do you have a date? If you are going it alone, let’s be honest: people will probably pay attention more to your lack of a date than the dress you are wearing. If the girl with the same dress has a date, let her have her moment in her ideal dress and just find a new one.

Will you be in any photos together? Before you drive yourself to a new level of crazy, keep in mind that, unless the girl with your duplicate dress will be in your Prom photos, you probably do not need to run out and find a new dress. Do not stress yourself out over a piece of glittery fabric that you will wear for a total of about five hours. Eight days after Prom, you will be graduating from high school. Let’s be honest- there are more important things to worry about, like how in the world you’re going to pay for your first semester at UNH in less than 100 days.

Are you in a relationship with your date? If both girls have dates, their relationship status with their date should be a factor in the duplicate dress decision. If the pair is in a steady relationship, that girl should get to keep the dress over a girl who simply dragged her friend to Prom in matching colors to save face and a couple of dollars on her Prom ticket. What accommodations have been made for the event? If more than one person is impacted by a girls’ dress decision, she should get priority. If her date has already ordered his tux or flowers for the occasion, the girl should get to keep her dress. Also,

If you find yourself searching through the group wall on your Smartphone while shopping for dresses, allowing others’ dress choices to influence your decision, keep one thing in mind. Shopping at vintage and thrift stores or small boutiques can give you the peace of mind that no one else will have your dress. You may even save money in the process. And, remember, if a girl ends up wearing your same dress to Prom, just be certain you look better in it!

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Michelle Obama

if a dress has already been tailored, the girl gets to keep her dress by default. If both girls have tailored their dresses, they will just have to suck it up and try to look better than the other.

Laura Bush

Who posted the dress first? Whoever posted the dress first should, in theory, have “dibs” on the dress. Whether their dress was the first to be purchased is an entirely different story, but, if a girl chooses not to post the dress to the group upon purchase, she is taking the risk that a girl who would have otherwise bypassed a duplicate dress will purchase it.

returning the dress. Especially considering you had to go with an upperclassman just to buy a ticket to this year’s Prom.

don’t understand, America, what is the problem? The nation should be happier when there is a good-looking first lady. It allows us to catch the occasional glimpse of a pretty lookin’ gal, in an otherwise ugly State of the Union address. Who would rather watch a goofy Joe Biden or an odd Nancy Pelosi, than a smiling Laura Bush? Do you feel threatened America? Is it an ego thing? Frankly, I’m not sure, but it seems to me like you have self-esteem issues, America. Yet, in 2008, you voted for “hope” you could believe in, and you got it: she goes by the name of Michelle Obama. B-Rock currently has an average approval rating between Bush Sr. and Clinton, but Michelle is a fox and it looks like we are breaking the mold. Hopefully we can stay this way and continue to find the presidents with high approval rating and hot wives. As for 2012, nothing against Callista Gingrich, but yikes. I say, support Obama ’12, but, whatever you do, make sure to get out and vote America.

Hillary Clinton

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or the second year, a BHS Prom Dresses group was created on Facebook for students to post photos of their dresses in an effort to avoid duplicate dresses at the dance. Girls post photos, “like” other girls’ dresses, and comment on aspects of the dresses that they like. In the event that duplicate dresses appear in the group, girls should keep one thing in mind: you cannot force another student to return their dress. If you are adamant about being the only girl in that pink, silk-chiffon dress with flowers on the straps, you are simply out of luck. However, a considerate group member will use the following guidelines in deciding whether or not to keep their duplicate dress.

allisongnaegy ’11

approval rating, according to Wikipedia, the order is as such: Bush Sr., Clinton, Johnson, Reagan, Bush Jr., Nixon, Ford, Carter. I examined the order in hopes to find a pattern. I examined the party they were a member of, wars they were involved in, states they were raised in, and arrived at nothing; no explanation for each president’s approval rating could be found. Then, I discovered it; there is a direct correlation between a president’s approval rating and how hot their wife is. Allow me to explain. I found a picture of every first lady when her husband was in office and determined if she was attractive or not. The obvious hot first ladies were: Laura Bush, Pat Nixon, Betty Ford, and Rosalynn Carter. The obvious non-attractive first ladies were: Barbra Bush, Hilary Clinton, Claudia Johnson and the maybe once pretty, but a little too old, Nancy Reagan. So let’s check this out. According to my findings the presidents with the highest approval ratings (Bush Sr. - Reagan) had non-attractive wives during their years of service, yet the presidents with the lower approval ratings (Bush Jr. - Carter) in fact, had attractive wives. I

Barbara Bush

Duplicate Dress Disaster

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arack Obama is incredibly unique. We all know that he is the first black president, he plays and knows basketball better than 99% of the country, and he collects Spider-man comics, but, frankly, I couldn’t care less. Obama is unique because he has a hot wife. It shouldn’t be a surprise when I say that Michelle Obama is an attractive woman and, as a nation, we have been pretty lucky over the past ten years when it comes to first ladies. But have we appreciated it? Maybe we are finally coming around, but, America, your lack of incorporation of the first ladies looks into the president’s approval rating over history displays your ignorance and ungratefulness. I have done some investigation and research and my finding are disappointing to say the least. Let’s ignore Obama for a moment. The last eight presidents before him were: Bush Sr., Clinton, G.W. Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford, Nixon, and Johnson, and all these men were married to women. Now, if we order these eight men by average

Nancy Regan

lips of a now–thanks to your classes–literate Dolphin, who has been trained to read your ‘prom-date-to-be’ an original sonnet. Finally, you ascend from the rafters of Sea World (Where else would you find such a precocious dolphin?) and ask her to prom. Nothing short of this is acceptable. Why? Because you have to ensure there is no way she can say, “No.” Only your closest friends know about your plans to ask her, so only the town of Bedford knows what is going down, and how embarrassing it would be to report a rejection? I do sympathize with the ladies for this reason. Prom also ignites a misplaced confidence among the bros, who otherwise would not be engaged with attractive females. Thus, these genetically advanced individuals are forced with the awkward predicament of saying, “Yes,” and accept your charitable tax writeoff, or saying, “No,” and looking like a stuck up jerk. Either way, prom will not be that perfect dream night. I think to survive prom is to foster apathy toward relationships and whimsical pretensions. Nothing ever lives up to your expectations; Cookie Crisp cereal taught me this at a very young age. Set the bar low, ignore people who are jerks, and say yes to whoever asks you because it’s the right thing to do, and none of us are that important.

Rosalynn Carter

tearing down another’s, and what more convenient place is there for a gossiping Bulldog than a room congested with dolled-up victims. The two months proceeding that ‘special night’ are filled with conversation circumventing around one topic, “Like, who are you going with?” A funny thing about this question “Creating the is you only hear it from people image you desire w h o already have a means tearing down date, and simultaneously another” know you are dateless. It’s almost like the only reason they ask is to hear, “Nobody’s asked. Who are you going with?” The pressure to find a date can always be mitigated by the classic girl pack to just go with each other. On the surface it may look like a feminist power play, but we know these lonely girls would jump at the chance to go with a “hunky fella.” If a girl is asked, God forbid words are used. The act of asking a girl to prom must transcend language. You can buy her roses, but those roses better be held between the creased

Betty Ford

o quote a musical protégé, “Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.” On June 3rd, 2011, juniors and seniors alike will embrace their inner Rebecca Black and do things inappropriate for their age. I, of course, am talking about this year’s prom. If you frequent the movies, then you know all about prom: everyone takes a limo (because recessions don’t exist and disposable incomes are infinite), the Prom King and Queen are the cool kids, only the invisible don’t attend (because visibility is achieved through drug abuse, sexual aptitude, and the capacity to stomach narcissism on a grandiose scale), etcetera. But why do we have this infatuation with a single night? High school is all about applying yourself, getting good grades, and self-discovery that will eventually lead to a successful life… Just kidding, how ridiculous. High school is like trying to mask a flatulent during the silent prayer in church, where the flatulent is your true identity and the silent prayer lasts four years. Nobody wants to be themselves. As it turns out, who we are is far less interesting than who we pretend to be, and prom offers the opportune propagation of this perfidious behavior. Streamers, lights, and three hundred dollar dresses and suits are all wallet-choking facades to mask the wolves. Because creating the image you desire inevitably means

jordandempsey ’11

Pat Nixon

patrickmcgoldrick ’11

What Rubs Me the Wrong Way

Claudia Johnson

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Prom: Is it worth the fuss you’re making over it?

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