Take it to Kourt: Hamilton vs. Five-paragraph essay composition, authors David Rosenwasser and Jill Stephen describe the five-paragraph essay as a “meat grinder that can turn any content into sausages.” Rosenwasser and Stephen say that the arbitrary method hinders thinking because it makes writers wary of digging deeper into the meaning behind the evidence that they use to support their arguments. Subconsciously, they are scared out of their minds of finding something that does An Aw esome Look Essay Lik th
cFai John M
rrible say ible ho . le le horr ood Es horrib rrible horrib Very G rrible ible ho ible ho rr rr A Not ho ho le rrible rrib rrible ible.
ho ible ho ible ho ry horr le horrible ible. le horr horrible horr and very ve ib Horrib le le horr le horr rible horrib horrib rrible horrib le horr rrible rrible horrib ible ho horrible ho ible ho rrible. rr rr rrible ho ho le le ible ho . very ho rr horrib rible horrible ible horrib ry ho ve rr and rrible rrible Hor rible ho le horrible ible ho ible ho le horr le horr horrible horr rrib ib ho rr horrib le ho le ib rrible rrible ible. horrib le horr ible ho ible ho ry horr le horrible horrib le. le horr horrible horr and very ve horrib rrible horrib Horrib rrible rrible rible ible ho horrible ho ible ho le horr horrib le horr le horr ible. le ib ib ib le rr rr rr ib rr ho horr le ho le ho very ho rrible horrib rible horrible ible horrib rr ible. ible ho and very Hor le horr le horr rible ho le horrible horrib rrible horrib ib le horr rr le ib ib rr ho rr ho ho ho ible rrible rrible ible. le horr ible ho ible ho horrib ry horr le horr horrible horr and very ve Horrib ible rible le horr le horr horrib horrib le ib le horr horrib
As far as I can remember, (approximately back to fifth grade) English teachers have always taught that when writing an essay, it needs to be five paragraphs. Five. No more, no less. Poof! There you have it, the perfect organization for an essay of any topic. Well folks, we have been fooled for years. To be successful writers in college, (kind of important) we must learn to abandon this bad habit of limiting ourselves to the standard introduction, three body paragraphs and conclusion setup and learn to broaden the spectrum. Really, the problem starts with the thesis. Most students tend to write what is called a three-pronged thesis. In other words, a claim is made, followed by three supporting statements (prongs) that prove the validity of that claim. The writer then proceeds to spend the entirety of the essay attempting to prove that their claim is correct. Each paragraph repeats the thesis, the only variation being the support to the writer’s claim. Then, to end with a bang, they repeat the thesis in the conclusion, essentially sounding like a
broken record. All of these characteristics of the fiveparagraph essay are, simply put, the high school norm for writing a paper. News flash: for most students college is the next milestone in life after receiving a high school diploma. Hence, learning to write, or rather think on paper, is high on the priority list to succeed in a college class. In the sixth edition of “Writing Analytically,” a textbook used in ACP
ons da Ly
ran by Mi igned
. s a .... Th i s i
r Fa i l u
I C R IED beca This essaey a First Gra at Makes Yo Joey de la Epic use der W is u fun to his last na awesome yo rote it r Essay w h e n Jo me is u shou start de la with ld writ ey is Ep so do e them says to doing here not m ic and its I re ad po lik not ho ake th and m e do in ake yo em bo rrible. this guy or sitive ur para ring an Essays repeat der to mak d du grap t h is !! !! e ed wor ar A ds th them great. hs like how ll. Elaborat e not Great wesome. A rougho e like Now ever w gr Terrif eat great gr esome awes ut this pa this essay this articl ic. Ter per. e is goin ea ome aw rific te t great gr g to ha esome eat gr A rrific ve awes eat Great wesome. A wesom terrific terr great grea ome awesom great t gr ific te Terrif e e. Gre ic. Ter eat great gr awesome rrific great great at . awesom great terrif eat gr rific te ic gr ea Awes ea rr e t terrif ific te t. awesom great ome. Great great rrific e awes ic. Aw gr ome. Terrif eat great gr esome awes terrific te great great Great ic. Ter rrific great ea ome aw . great terrif rific te t great gr es om ic te great. eat gr A rrific e awes eat gr Great wesome. A terrif ome aw rrific. eat w ic gr esome. Terrif eat great gr esome awes terrific te great great Great ic. Ter rrif great ea ome aw . great rific te t great gr esome ic terrific great. eat gr Awes rrific te aw rr ea if om es Great t grea ic. terrif ome aw e. Aw ic t gr esome. Terrif eat great gr esome awes terrific te great great Great ic. Ter rrific great eat gr ome aw . great terr ea rific te great. A rrific t great grea esome awes ific terrif Great wesome. A t grea ic. terrif ome aw w ic t gr esome. Terrif eat great gr esome awes terrific te great great Great ic. Ter rrific great ea ome aw . great terrif rific te t great gr es om ic gr ea A eat. rrific e awes t grea te Great wesome. A t grea terrif ome aw rrific. w ic t gr esome. Terrif eat great gr esome awes terrific te great great Great ic. Ter rrific great ea ome aw . gr te rific te t great gr ea rr es t grea ific ome aw eat gr A rrific t. eat gr esome terrific. Great wesome. A terrif eat w ic awesom gr Terrif eat great gr esome awes terrific te great great e. Gre ic. Ter rrif great ea ome aw at. great rific te t great gr esome ic terrific great. eat gr Awes rr te if aw rr ic eat gr ific ome. esome Great terrif eat Aw ic awesom . gr Terrif eat great gr esome awes terrific te great great e. Gre ic. Ter rrif great ea ome aw at. great rific te t great gr esome ic terrific great. eat gr rrific terrif awes eat ic terrif ic terr great grea ome awesom . t grea ific te e. G t reat. rrific great gr terrif ic terr eat great. ific. To be contin ued ->
not fit with the original plan, causing the five-paragraph organization to fall to pieces. This fear is what causes the meat grinder to make its sausages. The writer is so wrapped up in fitting their writing into five paragraphs that the result is a tightly condensed packaging of what could have been a beautifully insightful, juicy steak of writing. When using five-paragraph form, students do not take the time to sit on their thoughts and wait for them to hatch into their full potential. With the lack of effort from the brain, any paper becomes redundantly repetitive and straight up boring to read, unless the art of making words pretty has been mastered. Unfortunately, making the paper pretty to read will not earn a passing grade College level writing is difficult to achieve, even with the abiltiy to seem intelligent on paper. Often, this “intelligence” comes from the wonderful synonym tool in Microsoft Word. Even then, the synonyms do not always have the same intended meaning as the original word. Next time you sit down to write a paper, try not to get caught in the meat grinder; hatch those ideas and let them spread their wings.
The Sweet Life not always sweetest in land of cupcakes
“Gigi’s cupcakes have always been my favorite, my favorite part of the cupcakes is the icing. I love the choices they have, I just wished that they had all of them each day,” junior Katy Simon said.
“The atmosphere is really great. [The Sweet Life’s] icecream is soft and creamy. [My favorite ﬂavor is] chocolate,” senior Carrington Kaiser said.
Designed by Miranda Lyons
What makes a good cupcake a perfect cupcake is moist, fluffy cake with matching icing. The flavors must melt in your mouth and bring the customer back for more. For cupcake shops, service and enviroment make or break one’s experience, people do not want to be unhappy. While visiting a cupcake shop called Gigi’s and a sweet shop called The Sweet Life, I tried cupcakes of different flavors. The Sweet Life has great service and variety. The cashier was very friendly and sweet. She talked with me and she helped me decide which cupcake to get. The cashier at Gigi’s was not very friendly. The Sweet Life’s cupcakes didn’t taste as good as Gigi’s since they did not taste as fresh. But that is not all they sell. The Sweet life offers pies, cakes, chocolates, ice cream, cupcakes and so much more. Gigi’s had around six choices of different kind of cupcakes served different days. The service and the environment may be good, but the taste of the cupcake at The Sweet Life was lacking, even though they also have many other choices, unlike Gigi’s Cupcakes.
Gigi’s variety may not be great, but their cupcakes came out on top. While taking a bite into their White Midnight Magic cupcake I was in heaven. The White Midnight Magic cupcakes had a cream cheese icing with a chocolate cake and chocolate chips on top. I also had a Raspberry Buckle Cupcake and it was splendid. They were so moist and the icing is what topped it off. Gigi’s cupcakes have a mountain of icing on top of them. Each day Gigi’s has different types of cupcakes. On their website they have a calendar to show what day has which flavor. After loving the vibe and decor of the store, The Sweet Life’s cupcakes did not taste very flavorful. With a title like “Sweet Life,” one would think its cupcakes would live up to its name. However, the food was not satisfactory. I tried the Strawberries and Creme and the Cookies n’ Cream cupcakes. They tasted like packaged muffins that you would buy in the junk food aisle. The service and the variety is a very important aspect to any successful restaurant or store. The Sweet Life won in that category. However, it all comes down to the best tasting cupcake. In this case, Gigi’s takes the cake.