Page 1

$3 . 9 9


ALEXANDRA FLOERSCH JAMIE HOPKO Co-Editors-in-Chief

Creative Director GREG BARNEY Design Director MEGAN MARRYMORE Entertainment Director STEVE CARREL Executive Styling Director BLAIR WHITEHOUS Executive Photography Director DONALD McFADDEN Advertising Director AMY LEE

Entertainment Entertainment Director THOMAS O’MALLEY Entertainment Writer BRITTNEY STEIN Entertainment Assistants AMANDA GREENHOUSE, KATIE WINEHOUSE

News News Director KIM POSSIBLE News Writer SARAH THOMAS News Assistant KENDRA FAGERSTROM Online Editor KATE McCOY

Features Culture Editor PAIGE MURRAY Senior Editors GENE RICHARDS Entertainment Editor KISS MEH Food Critic KIMBERLY ANN HUBERT Online Editor WERNER TIMES Feature Assistants PAUL RIVEREZ, TIMOTHY PAISLEY, MIKE JONES, JIM JONES, DONA HUET, SADIE GROKOSKI, BAILEY ANGEL

LAURA JONES Managing Editor

Contributing Editors DAISY BUGGET, TIM BRIGHT, SAM NEWTON, EDWARD POCKET, JIM BEAM, ADAM ANDREWS, DREW BREES, NANCY DREW, NATE BLADOW THOMAS HILL Editorial Director


Letter from the Editors 2013 is in full bloom and we think to ourselves, “I’m alive.” Thus far, there are no signs that the earth is detaching itself from its molten hot core and dropping into the ocean or that gravity has disappeared, leaving our bodies collapsed and lifeless on the soil. Our extremities are in tact and, so far, zombies have yet to take over the United States of America. Korea has held off on disintegrating the world with nuclear bombs and Edward Cullen hasn’t quite converted the population to vampires like we thought he would. What we’re getting at here is that we have yet to predict the end of life as we know it. Sure, people come and go, but when will all human beings leave the earth for good? Although we don’t have the answer, this issue gives you insight to past and emerging predictions to the world’s end. It can be scary. It can be real. But mostly, it’s freaking hilarious. (You wouldn’t believe the nut jobs we have interviewed and featured who believe they know how it’s going to end.) Our mission is to provide you with the most entertaining apocalypse information known to mankind. You will laugh. You will cry. And your prophesizing characteristics will eventually be put to good use. Until then, we will be around to cover these theories in progress. Although we must note, we are not responsible for publicizing the aftermath. That’s just too much to ask. Sincerely, Your Editors,

Alexandra Floersch & Jamie Hopko


Table of Contents End of the World Edition

3. Letter From the Editors 6. How to Survive the End of the World 9. Funny End of the World #Tweets 12. Hilarious Memes 14. Top 10 End of the World Movies 17. Book Review 19. Top 4 World Ending Theories 23. Top 7 Apocolypic Hits


1

Alien Metamorphasis

Marshall Herff Applewhite was an interesting character. The son of a Presbyterian minister, he was always involved with church choir directing and later became a professor of University of Alabama School of Music. He was fired over an affair with a male student there and an affair with a female student at another teaching position. It was then, in 1972, that he admitted himself into a psychiatric hospital to cure what he thought was sexual obsessions. Bad choice. Not even the nurse at the hospital could stay away from him. They found a mutual passion for UFOs and science fiction. After opening a center of study for metaphysics, the two came to believe they were incarnations of aliens—just aged quite a bit. They preached to the public that the world would end, they would be murdered and would rise to escape the evil aliens that encompassed their bodies, using them for sex, jobs and families. Join them and you would be saved. Applewhite said, ““We’re going to stage, so that it can be witnessed that when a human has overcome his human-level activities, a chemical change takes place and he goes through a metamorphosis just exactly as a caterpillar does when he quits being a caterpillar and he goes off into a crysalis and becomes a butterfly.” Twenty people of Oregon joined these two and were confused when they remained alive. http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/mass/heavens_gate/1.html

2 Evan Almighty II

Steve Carrel took a shot at making the Bible’s stories come to life when he starred in Bruce Almighty. Its sequel, Evan Almight, was even better, showing people in today’s modern age reacting to a man building an ark. But, Pieter van der Meer of the Netherlands thought he could do better for the end of the world on December 21, 2012. Van der Meer spent 13,000 euros, or $17,000 American money, to purchase his life-saving submarine and took reservations for 35 people to survive the flood, bringing his dogs but leaving his pet goats to fend for themselves. Fortunate for the goats, the world didn’t cease to spin and Van der Meer was left with a rusty, old orange boat to brown his lawn. http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/5-people-who-will-be-disappointed-world-didnt-end-today/


World Ending Theories

3 Beamed to Heaven

Eighty-nine-year-old evangelist Harold Camping predicted the end of the world in 1994, but survived through it. However, he remained a prophet and tried his luck again calling May 21, 2011 “The Rapture”. He said the world would begin to quake and those saved would be teleported up to heaven. Two minor earthquakes did occur in the Pacific Ocean earlier on in the day, but didn’t trigger any damage to be spoken of. Citizens searched graves and accounted for their families, but there were no signs that anyone had risen after the quake. Many laughed at the failed prediction and as a consequence for the non-believers, Camping reassured them that they would suffer until October 21, 2011 when God would pull the plug on life for good. Camping, you weren’t right in ’94, I think its time to resign. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/religion/8527582/Apocalypse-not-right-now-Rapture-end-of-world-fails-tomaterialise.html

Gangnam Goodbye

4

Many believed the end of the Mayan calendar (Dec. 21, 2012) meant the end of the world as we know it, but the reasons for this catastrophe were endless. One of these theories rests on a quote from the Nostradamus themselves: From the calm morning, the end will come when of the dancing horse the number of circles will be nine. -Nostradamus, 1503 From this, prophets made the connection to the pop-star PSY and his Korean origin, because Korea translates to “calm morning” country in the English language. They predicted that when PSY’s “Gangnam Style” music video reached one billion viewers on YouTube, the world would end. How does this match up? One billion has exactly nine “circles” in it as the Nostradamus predicted, and one of PSY’s moves is much like that of a “dancing horse.” How close was PSY on December 20? Nine hundred and ninety million views—only a few thousand hits off. Thanks PSY for almost ending the world. http://www.idigitaltimes.com/articles/13886/20121220/ mayan-apocalypse-date-wrong-december-21-2012.htm


Top #1 Cabin in the Woods

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

#2 Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

#3

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

Knowing

Last Night

#5 Melancholia

#4 xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


#6

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On the Beach

#7

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

#8

xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

Titan A.E

#9

Miracle Mile

xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

#10 Dr. Strangelove

xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


FABMagazine//000


FASHION

FABMagazine//000


How to Survive the End of the World Tips

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx


Headline

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx


top 7 Apoco

7

Apocalypse Please Muse (2003)

“This is the end of the world, it’s time we saw a miracle . Come on, it’s time for something biblical”

6

Doomsday Clock

The Smashing Pumpkins (2007) “Is everyone afraid? You should be ashamed. Apocalyptic screams mean nothing to the dead”

5

When the Man Comes Around Johnny Cash (2002)

“Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom . Then the father hen will call his chickens home”

2012 (It Ain’t the End)

Jay Sean ft. Nikki Minaj (2010) “We gonna party like, party like it’s the end of the world. We gonna party like, like it’s 2012. You know that it doesn’t matter as long as we got each other. Turn it up, turn it up, mash it up, it ain’t the end of the world!”

4


lyptic Hits How Far We’ve Come

Matchbox Twenty (2)

The narrator is looking back at his own life during an apocalyptic event when the world is ending.

2

3

The End of Time The Band Perry (2)

“It’s kind of our take on what the south would look like at the end of the world,” said The Band Perry.

It’s the End of the World (As We Know It) R.E.M. (1987)

“That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane. Lenny Bruce is not afraid.”

1


Funny End of the World #Tweets

22


Iris Entertainment--End of the World Edition  

Iris Entertainment is an entertainment magazine targeting the 18-34 year old demographic.

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you