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Table Trivia

David Bradbury (907) 486-5070 1235 Mill Bay Rd Kodiak, AK 99615

david.bradbury@edwardjones.com

Honesty and Integrity. It’s that simple. Your partner in the Kodiak housing market. Whether you’re buying or selling, relocating, renting or leasing, RE/MAX of Kodiak is here to serve you. RE/MAX of Kodiak is recognized as a trendsetter on “The Rock.” Our professional, caring serviceprovided by qualified REALTORS® and staff—sets the pace in Kodiak, while our focus on honesty and integrity sets the tone. Our mission at RE/MAX of Kodiak is to offer unparalleled professional real estate and property management services. For you. Your family. Your success in the real estate market. Contact us today at (907)512-2771. (www.KodiakIslandRealEstate.com)

LISA ZEIMER REALTOR

ALASKA ONE REALTY Direct: (907) 486-4628 Cell: (907) 539-1609 lzeimerak1@gmail.com

(907) 486-4663 1420 A Mill Bay Road Kodiak , AK 99615

FLOAT AND WHEEL PLANE CHARTERS BEAR VIEWS • FLIGHTSEE • DAY TRIPS • HUNTING • FISHING

P.O. Box 1037 Kodiak, AK 99615 www.andrewairways.com

Office: (907) 487-2566 Fax: (907) 487-2578

Table Trivia advertising GETS YOU NOTICED! For rates and information, call 1.888.302.1919

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AAA Moving & Storage is Alaska's largest independent mover. With our experience, commitment and expertise we will customize our services with your needs to provide you with a satisfaction guaranteed move.

When you think "Moving", think AAA Moving & Storage, the RED TRUCK movers.

907.487.2140 • www.aaa-moving.com

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday!

11590 Rezanof Drive West • Kodiak

The Mind of Steven Wright Buy, Sell, Trade or Loan on Anything of Value Jewelry • Guns • Electronics • Puzzles • Ivory Guitars • Video Games • Tools • Cameras • CDs Keys • 24 Hour Emergency Locksmith Service Large Selection of Musical Instruments 1314 Mill Bay Rd. • Kodiak, AK 99615

(907) 486-3271

FAMILY GROCERY & BUSINESS SUPPLY STORE BOAT & BUSH ORDERS WELCOMED

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.” “I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” “If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”

2161 Mill Bay Road • Kodiak

(907) 486-2408

Office: 486-5090 Fax: 486-7070 E-mail: costsave@ptialaska.net

HOME OF BIG AL’S PIZZERIA

Mill Bay Auto Cherise R Olsen Owner/Manager Millbayauto@hotmail.com 3751 East Rezanof Drive Kodiak, AK 99615

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(P) 907-512-3060 (F) 907-512-3055

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” “If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”


The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA. Little Boy says “ He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!” Officer says “Yes.” Little Boy asks “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture??

Coastal Creations Consignment & Collectibles Local Artist’s

1517 Mill Bay Rd. #3 Kodiak, AK

907.486.8898

OVER 2,500 SQ.FT. & OVER 1050 CONSIGNORS. WE CARRY EVERYTHING & SO MUCH MORE! Antiques, Local Art, Books Beads, Formalwear, Jewelry Brand-Name Shoes & Clothing, New & Gently Used PEGGY DVORAK - Owner • pegdvorak@gmail.com

Belarde Custom Concrete Co.

We specialize in: Curbs, Gutters, Sidewalks, Concrete Slabs Acid-Stain, Stamped, Exposed Aggregate & More! 120 foot Boom & Line Pump

486-2924 • 2010 Mill Bay Rd. • Kodiak

Embroidery Screen Printing

T-Shirts, Hoodies, Hats, & Shoes

486-5100 486-5100

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Art Gifts Crafts 7 197 Cards Est. Books Custom Framing

1314 Mill Bay Rd. Kodiak

486-4956

www.northernexposuregallery.com

Facials, Body Waxing, Chemical Peels & Consultations

Have the most current issue sent to your e-mail each month! Email us at production@dashcorp.biz with “Kodiak issues!” 4

A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon’s house. After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150. The neurosurgeon exclaimed, ‘I don’t charge this amount even though I am a surgeon.” The plumber replied, “I agree, you are right. I too, didn’t either, when I was a surgeon. That’s why I switched to plumbing!” A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”


Only In America….. ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. ...do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

COASTAL K o d i a k

A l a s k a

CONTRACTING Matt Corriere 539-1044 • 486-0370 matt_coastalservices@hotmail.com

Kodiak Auto Detailing Get that grime off your ride!

• Windshield Rock Chip Repair • Wash/Wax/Polish • Interior & Exterior • Headlight Restoration

486-3539 • 1712 E REZANOF DRIVE 5


BED & BREAKFAST O: 907.487.4430 C: 907.942.7809 Kodiak, Alaska

KODIAK RUSSIAN RIVER LODGE For the Wild at Heart!

kodiakrussianriverlodge@hotmail.com

www.kodiakrussianriverlodge.com NEXT EVENT: Feb. 7th at KMS Versus

Far North Derby Dollz Always looking for: New Skaters Skating and non-Skating Officials. Contact us at rockislandrollers@gmail.com

COME CHECK US OUT!

ustravel.com Still serving Kodiak residents

1.800.544.2217 6

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”


You might be a redneck if …. **Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor. **Your birth announcement included the word “rug rat”. **You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle. **Your bumper sticker says, “My other car is a combine.” **The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot. **The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. **Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. **There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

THE FRAME SHOP

APPOINTMENTS MON- TUE

SHOP HOURS WEN-SAT 11-6PM

907-654-4452e 2017 Mill Bay Rd

INSTOCK FRAME MOULDINGS & MATS NEXT DAY SERVICE!

Custom FramingeBoutique MirrorseReady-Made Frames Over-Sized Lamination & DryMounting eVirtual Gallery @

WWW.THEFRAMESHOPAK.COM

Kodiak Child Advocacy Center (907)486-1378 Myth about Child Sexual Abuse: He looks normal and acts normal, so he can’t be a child molester. Sex offenders hide their private behaviors from their friends, neighbors, colleagues, and their own family members. Many perpetrators seek out volunteer or work positions that place them in close proximity to children. Some child molesters appear to be charming, socially responsible, caring, compassionate, morally sound, and sincere. When an adult is spending most their time with children, pay attention. Especially if they choose to be around children in their “off” time. “I do things for the adults. I help them out. I tell them about how wonderful their kids are.” “I would talk to the parents, get them to like me then let it slip that I was available to baby-sit. They thought they were getting a great deal.” Friendly behavior ≠ Trustworthiness. Listen to the content; don’t be mesmerized by the delivery. Child safety is an adult responsibility. For questions call the Kodiak Child Advocacy Center (907)486-1378

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“We Dig Kodiak” General Excavating - Drainage - Septic Installation City Water & Sewer Hook-Up Rock & Topsoil - Tree Removal - Site Clearing and Preparation - Culvert Installation

486-5490 ● 942-2747 www.goldenalaska.biz

Bassi Paving “We Pave Kodiak” 907.942.5223 All Asphalt & Concrete Excavating & Trucking

John Bassi Owner & Operator Cell 907.229.6769

You Didn’t Need to Know…… Despite a population of over a billion, China has only about 200 family names If you told someone that they were one in a million, you’d be saying there were 1,800 of them in China

Any Place Any Time Any Where

(907) 486-4343 8

A red-haired man is more likely to go bald than anyone else.

2015

A & B Taxi

In 1892, Italy raised the minimum age for marriage for girls to 12


Kodiak