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Welcome to:

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Table Trivia

Sherri Sapp

SOLD Mine! 907.317.6302

homes@sherrisapp.com • www.SherriSapp.com

of Eagle River, Inc. Each Office is Independently Owned and Operated.

The Iditarod Area School District offers a Home School Program for students K12. The Distance Learning Center gives families the means to improve and develop an educational program for their children. A flexible format lets families set their own academic schedule. Schoolwork can be completed at home or while traveling. The DLC Home School Program uses several educational innovations that meet state and district guidelines and standards. An Individual Learning Plan is developed as a partnership with the parent, resource teacher, and student. Parents are responsible for the delivery of curriculum; in addition, each family is assigned a resource teacher who lends educational guidance and support. Special activities and a computer lease for educational courses are also available. Individual educational accounts help families purchase instructional materials relating to the student's Individual Education Plan. Excellence in education can be accomplished in the home environment.

Betty Valdés, Realtor ABR CRS Cell 907.360.6489

Jim Mosley, Realtor ABR CRS Cell 907.350.6489

Building Solid Relationships

16635 Centerfield Drive, #103 Eagle River, AK 99577

www.AlaskaGemHomes.com E-mail homes@AlaskaGemHomes.com

Insurance and financial services to help you grow your own way Melissa Izatt 12330 Old Glenn Hwy • Suite 1B Eagle River, AK 99577

907-622-1400

Table Trivia advertising GETS YOU NOTICED! For rates and information, call 1.888.302.1919

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Eagle Rivers Only

Since 1996

12551 Old Glenn Hwy. • 4 Blocks Down from Fred Myers $HORT ON CA$H? FA$T & EA$Y

• No Employer Contact Eagle River Pawn Buying Gold! • On The Job 8 Months $ 00* . You Can Pawn • Last Pay Stub *or more or Sell to Me! • Valid ID • Bring Current Bank Statement

500

696-6669

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday! The Mind of Steven Wright “Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.” “I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” “If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” “If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

Art Dickinson ~ Toni Dickinson Automotive Industrial Marine

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ATV Motorcycle Snowmachines

“If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.”


The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA. Little Boy says “ He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!” Officer says “Yes.” Little Boy asks “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture??

www.airventuresalaska.com

Bear Viewing Fishing Trips Remote Cabins Iditarod Trips “Come explore Alaska with us!”

907.631.3377

Hampton Inn & Suites Dickinson

701-456-0100 110 14th Street West, Dickinson, ND, 58601

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Eagle River Orthodontics

Creating Smiles that are Good for Life! Dr. Eldon DeKay, DMD, MS Dr. Robert DeKay, DMD

694-3555

www.erotho.com 16635 Centerfield Drive #201

Defining Line Tattoo Services

Permanent Makeup

* Traditional * New-School * Blk & Grey * * Graffiti/Lettering * Fine-line Designs *

* Eyeliners * Brows * Beauty Marks * * Para Medical * Scar Camoflauge *

Ph. 315-7306 20905 Eastside Dr. Suite #6

ALASKA KOZEY CABINS “Come Home to Alaska”

351 Spruce Ave. • Wasilla Ph: Fax:

(907) 376-3190 (907) 376-3298 kozeycabins@gci.net

See Our Virtual Tour Online at:

WWW . KOZEYCABINS . COM

WE HAVE THE BRANDS THAT WORK AS HARD AS YOU DO!

N e w L o c at i o n - L a rg e r S e l e c t i o n o f I n v e n to ry

allseasonsclothingcompany.com

1400 E Wasilla Shops Circle • 907.357.0123

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A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon’s house. After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150. The neurosurgeon exclaimed, ‘I don’t charge this amount even though I am a surgeon.” The plumber replied, “I agree, you are right. I too, didn’t either, when I was a surgeon. That’s why I switched to plumbing!” A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”


Only In America‌.. ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. ...do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

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Have the most current issue sent to your e-mail each month! Email us at production@dashcorp.biz with “Eagle River issues!� 5


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COMPLETE HYDRAULIC AND MACHINING SERVICE TUBES-N-HOSES

5717 E. Fireweed Rd. Palmer, AK 99645

376-8160

Eagle River N G O B I & Casino 694-5525 Accross from Homestead Lounge

BINGO Thur. Fri. & Sat., Starts at 7:30pm Pulltabs 7 Days a Week 12130 Regency Drive - Eagle River, AK #87

Work Injuries • Family Care • Auto Injury

www.lucaschiropractic.com

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A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”


Nick Hill Owner Free Estimates

You might be a redneck if …. **Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor. **Your birth announcement included the word “rug rat”. **You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle. **Your bumper sticker says, “My other car is a combine.”

Asphalt Patching & Repair Driveway Top Coating 841-6411

Property Management

In Alaska it’s “Cool” Looking for a rental or management of your home? Call Suzanne “Cool”

907-242-4330

**The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot. **The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. **Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. **There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. 7


You Didn’t Need to Know……

QUIX FIX Home Repair Service

FOR HOME REPAIR WITH PROFESSIONAL CARE, Painting Fences And More!

Electrical Repair Dry Rot Repair Plumbing Repair Drywall/Sheetrock Carpentry Trash Hauling

907-677-6615 907-764-1266 www.quixfix.com

907.376.7275 MFCP Inc

1201 HAY STREET WASILLA, AK

Jason Harbuck Store Manager

www.jackovich.com Jasonh@jackovich.com

Despite a population of over a billion, China has only about 200 family names If you told someone that they were one in a million, you’d be saying there were 1,800 of them in China In 1892, Italy raised the minimum age for marriage for girls to 12 A red-haired man is more likely to go bald than anyone else.

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2014

“Constructing Alaska for 30 Years” Commercial & Residential Construction Pre-Engeneered Metal Buildings Hangar Homes Horseplay Acres (Build-to-Suit Residential Lots)

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